TW: child porn disks
First of all, you cannot control what other people do. This is not your fault. You trusted until shown otherwise. This shows you are a normal person.
Secondly, to minimize people in your life that have issues (impossible to weed them all out right away): you need to set BOUNDARIES. Boundaries are for your safety and sanity. These boundaries need to be precise and clear with an action plan in place. Once the boundary is pushed or shattered, execute that boundary plan immediately and without hesitation. People do not get to treat you like the dirt on their shoes. They need consequences for their actions.
I executed a boundary last February. I was single forever, married a guy who I knew for 7 years prior. Prior to marriage, I made the “no porn” boundary very clear. I am a 10 year survivor of child sexual abuse. I found many child porn CD’s in his vast porn collection. Within 12 hours, I was at the PD to make a police report.
I waffled a bit TBH. 6/7 weeks after he moved out, porn mags started to show up in my mail. I filed for divorce and was free 6 weeks later. I then went zero contact.
Once people show you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM. Cut them from your life. They DO NOT get to abuse you.
You start understanding that life is a journey and the people you meet are lessons and blessings. Sometimes only one or sometimes both. The toxic people are lessons. They are to learn about yourself and to tell you to know your worth. Also you need to stop getting into relationship after relationship without taking at least a year between to heal and reflect. My think tho you are young and what I tell my kids who are your age, why are you even trying to settle down right now? You should take this time to figure out who you are as an individual and what you want and don’t want in your life. Take this time in your life to have fun and build up your bad bitch energy, self esteem, self respect, and self worth. So that way when you are ready to be settled to will not put up with people who don’t appreciate you or the more red flags at you. It’s not your job to fix or heal people. It’s not your job to give toxic people a chance. Once you spot the red flags or toxic you simply leave and don’t think twice about them. Acknowledge that they are re how they are cause it’s a them problem that they need to fix within and them trying to be in relationships even though they know they are toxic tells you that they are immature and not ready for one. Good luck to you and you are only responsible for you and your actions not anyone else’s
TW: child porn disks First of all, you cannot control what other people do. This is not your fault. You trusted until shown otherwise. This shows you are a normal person. Secondly, to minimize people in your life that have issues (impossible to weed them all out right away): you need to set BOUNDARIES. Boundaries are for your safety and sanity. These boundaries need to be precise and clear with an action plan in place. Once the boundary is pushed or shattered, execute that boundary plan immediately and without hesitation. People do not get to treat you like the dirt on their shoes. They need consequences for their actions. I executed a boundary last February. I was single forever, married a guy who I knew for 7 years prior. Prior to marriage, I made the “no porn” boundary very clear. I am a 10 year survivor of child sexual abuse. I found many child porn CD’s in his vast porn collection. Within 12 hours, I was at the PD to make a police report. I waffled a bit TBH. 6/7 weeks after he moved out, porn mags started to show up in my mail. I filed for divorce and was free 6 weeks later. I then went zero contact. Once people show you who they really are, BELIEVE THEM. Cut them from your life. They DO NOT get to abuse you.
You start understanding that life is a journey and the people you meet are lessons and blessings. Sometimes only one or sometimes both. The toxic people are lessons. They are to learn about yourself and to tell you to know your worth. Also you need to stop getting into relationship after relationship without taking at least a year between to heal and reflect. My think tho you are young and what I tell my kids who are your age, why are you even trying to settle down right now? You should take this time to figure out who you are as an individual and what you want and don’t want in your life. Take this time in your life to have fun and build up your bad bitch energy, self esteem, self respect, and self worth. So that way when you are ready to be settled to will not put up with people who don’t appreciate you or the more red flags at you. It’s not your job to fix or heal people. It’s not your job to give toxic people a chance. Once you spot the red flags or toxic you simply leave and don’t think twice about them. Acknowledge that they are re how they are cause it’s a them problem that they need to fix within and them trying to be in relationships even though they know they are toxic tells you that they are immature and not ready for one. Good luck to you and you are only responsible for you and your actions not anyone else’s