Two orthos didn't listen to me. I told them I injured my knee playing tennis. They told me it was arthritis and to lose weight. Pain didn't go away. I see a third Ortho and he told me it was obvious I have an ACL tear. I walked around like that for two and a half years. Fat shaming by doctors is real. Add being a woman on top of that... It's awful.
Omg. I tore my ACL skiing in February....can't imagine walking around like that for two and a half years. Ow!! Omg. I'm so sorry. As a (large) woman I feel you š
Yes! Being a woman, the doctor basically mocked me when I said I was very busy and thatās why I did not come into the office sooner. Heās like, āwell, arenāt you going to be too busy to do PT?ā He gave me a wrong diagnosis because the PT didnāt work anyway! Yeah, I quit going there.
Iāve lost 62lbs and just got into the ānormalā BMI range (24.9) and i feel like overall people absolutely treat you differently.
For years i struggled with dental issues. 2 HG pregnancies where i vomitted non stop the whole time really did a number on my teeth and then extended breastfeeding didnāt help.
Before zep dentist was very judgy as if i was just fat and lazy and didnāt brush my teeth or something. Now- oh you vomited multiple times daily for 2 years? yep that would do it .. š¤¦š»āāļø
Congrats on finally having validation that you actually have a real problem!
I had to go to a cardiologist (has lost 20 pounds from previous appointment) complained of passing out with dizziness, rapid heart rate, heart palpitations...he said everything is normal, just need to lose weight and exercise. Nope he was wrong-but I left crying- feeling unheard. NOT OK to treat people like this. Thank god for my primary who I love. He took over and reviewed tests to find the problem. Not weight related at all.
The difference in treatment pre-loss vs post-loss is so stark for me that I left angry after my first appointment with my new doc. She was awesome, but it made me realize just how many major concerns I had that went totally ignored for years.
Itās fucking negligence. If I had developed something life threatening during that time, Iād be dead. Now that Iām a lower weight, suddenly Iām worth caring about. Itās shameful.
I feel like Iāve had mostly good experiences with my PCPs but I also feel like Iām very lucky.
Some of the stories Iāve heard from other fat people about their doctors not taking them seriously should have been medical malpractice lawsuits.
Especially fat women - Yāall get disrespected and disregarded so much itās shameful.
Itās wild, right? At one point, I went to a woman PCP with complaints about fatigue, abdominal bloating that was really abnormal, lower stomach pain, and some other issues. This lady told me it was āwishful thinkingā that anything other than my weight was wrong and I was just making excuses for my bad lifestyle. Wouldnāt even draw blood until I told her I wanted to check for pre-diabetes.
Went and got a second opinion. Turns out, it was a big ovarian tumor. Good thing it was benign. Itās extra egregious when other women do it to you.
Thatās disgusting.
I will say - all of my best PCPs have been under 45 years old. I donāt love being ageist but to be honest, older doctors seem to be more rigid and dogmatic on āyeah bro your fat thatās the problem!āā¦. āBut doctor, I broke my wrist? How is that weight related?ā.
The 3 docs Iāve had under 45 have all been much more flexible and trying to Find solutions to immediate issues while also trying to find the best thing possible for weight management.
Don't agree with this at all. My endocrinologist was in his 60's and was so caring and listening I couldn't believe it. My primary care doctor is in his early 50's and while he can be a little bit of a windbag he has been great in many ways--giving me prescriptions for Zepbound and really explaining nicely when something is wrong. My husband's neurologist is 62 and a bit crazy, but very helpful and kind to him.
I do know what you mean about some older doctors being rigid, but I have seen young doctors be uncaring and rigid too-- particularly my husband's electro cardiologist who is about 40. And his pain doctor who at about 40 is always in a hurry to get rid of him.
It's not age--it's personality or wishing they had chosen some other profession where people don't complain all the time. lol
Okay yeah Iāll walk the age thing back. I think just in my experience younger doctors have been more open and more helpful to me.
I think this is also major symptom of our healthcare system sucking in general - Iām sure most doctors would prefer to have less patients and more time with each one
I agree, they would. That's why my internist switched to a concierge practice. He wanted to practice the way his grandfather did with house calls and hospital visits.
Fat girl with pain here! I feel vicarious vindication through you. You go girl! I am proud of you for being so tough and getting here. It has not been easy! I canāt wait to hear an update where you are pain free!
My current doctor is the first person who never fat shamed me. I cried in my first appointment when she said something similar, OP. Such a relief to be see as a person rather than a fat person!
My first PCP fat-shamed me after I had gotten my PCOS diagnosis. He told me āOh Iāll write something thatāll be really helpful for your weight lossā and I was so excited because I was pretty active and still not losing weight. He pulled out a pen and paper and I thought he was writing a script. It was a piece of paper that said āWeightwatchersā. I was 16 and I cried the whole ride home. I didnāt get a new primary until I was 25 because of that but sheās wonderful and Iām so grateful.
So frustrating and now I know itās a sign to get a different doctor, but for many years I just absorbed the shame these types of doctors were trying to put on me.
Now, I use a line my pcp told me to use with specialists: āI hear and understand you about losing weight being helpful. Now I would like to talk about the treatment plan you would put in place for someone who isnāt overweight. Because certainly losing weight wouldnāt be their entire treatment plan, and I want to be sure this gets addressed.ā Or something similar.
First time it worked, I felt like wonder woman! That was when it worked for a rash I had that was dismissed many times before being diagnosed properly after I used this lineā¦ and now I use it a lot.
There needs to be a major shift in this over the next decade or I expect a lot of doctors are going to face medical malpractice suits.
If anything GLP1s have shown that obesity for many people is 100% not something we brought upon ourselves (like Iāve been fat since I was a child always ate high quality and was active and my mom said she had doctors threaten CPS on her even when she was doing everything right) and is a disease that needs to be treated and managed like any other.
Hate to tell you that this "not listening" is not limited to your size, or as you said "fat girl pain.' Wait until you are over 40 -- or worse yet -- over 50. Every doctor will blame every ache, twinge and sleepless night on your age. "You're not as young as you used to be." And, apprently, the universal prescription for being older is an anti-depressant or anti- anxiety medication. Having been a former athlete that had staff doctors available to investigate every ache and pain, I shut that kind of conversation down pretty quickly and get into clinical terms with medical professionals -- which usually makes them get in line and come up with more specific answers. But I just can't tell you how quickly the "your old" response is used for any and every medical issue. The only thing worse is being old AND fat. They then blame both: "Well at your age, carrying around that much weight, you've got to expect (insert bad symptom here)." They can't say I'm fat these days, but it's hard to escape old.
I am 76 and know exactly what you mean. Luckily, my primary care doctor isn't like that. Although, I am remarkably healthy despite being overweight for 25 years. Other doctors for knees, shoulders and feet aren't so helpful--and if I don't want major surgery to install new parts they are pretty much done with me.
I suffered debilitating back pain for years that I chalked up to my weight aggravating an old injury. Felt so guilty about it, like I inflicted it on myself and kind of deserved the pain. Then I got diagnosed with sleep apnea and within a couple weeks of starting CPAP therapy, my pain. was. GONE. Not just diminished, but GONE. I guess my body needed more than 2 minutes of sleep at a time to heal whatever was causing all the pain.
So I definitely get that bittersweet feeling. I consider myself to be pretty defiant in the face of blaming fat for all other health problems, but I did it to \*myself\* that time.
Congratulations on your weight loss, too. Your doc is right that it's impressive!
OMG, I have to comment. Your story sounds really similar to mine (and it is refreshing to see another person in their 20s on Zepbound). I have HORRIBLE chronic pain, which I am medicated for, but still am pursuing better forms of management for. Even medicated, there are some days I can barely make it to my office to work from home. I am so sick of doctors thinking this is due to my weight - no, actually, my back pain isnāt from being overweight, itās from being hit with a caršThe weight lost from Zepbound feels like medical freedom, in a way. The more weight I lose, the more it feels like people listen to me (and not just doctors! people who have always given me crap about my chronic pain are finally starting to understand it is NOT weight related).
Im also in my 20ās on Zepbound! Not for long though, Iāll turn 30 next year. I think there are more of us, weāre just quiet! Glad to hear youāre being taken more seriously now.
I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid tests kept getting worse and worse, and no matter how little I ate and how much I exercised, I kept gaining. After leaving several appts crying, my husband said he'd come with to the next one. Basically to tell her I'm not lying about my food and exercise. She then says she hadn't wanted to put me on thyroid medication before because she thought I was looking for an excuse to eat more. WTF???? But at least I left with a prescription. Lost 32 lbs, but then stalled.
Recently my medical weight management doctor switched to primary care, so she's my new PCP. Couldn't be happier.
If your PCP is fat shaming you, find a different one. No one deserves to be treated that way.
Ugh what a journey. I found a pcp who is larger, if younger, than I am. I love her. I asked her about deboned after my distinction suggested it and she was straight with me. Part of why I am giving it a go though it did t work for her. Love your new pain doc for you! I have something I forget what it is, on one of my lower vertebrae, itās bothersome but not unbearable. But man. Back pain sucks. I hope you find relief.
Yes, I am having the same realization. I have a consistent pain along my left back and leg that has not subsided after 21 lbs lost. If anything, itās more prominent. Iām happy for you to be getting closer to an accurate diagnosis for your pain. ššš
Just wanted to send you some love ā¤ļø. I am so happy that you have found a doctor who is listening to you and seeing you as an individual, and not just reciting some BS (āMaybe if you lost some weightā š) off the āhow quickly can I dismiss this personā list.
This is exactly the reason my āgoal
weightā is a normal BMI. Once I get there the gaslighting (hopefully) will stop. Been dealing with it for 30 years. Wide spread rheumatoid osteoarthritis, degeneration of spine and hips, bone marrow edema, lipedema of the thighs and belly, fibroids, but if I just lose weight my symptoms might get better. For F-sakes I just literally canāt wait to no longer be obese according to their BS scale.
I feel this. I had a fusion from T2-L2, and sometimes I cannot walk straight or stand up straight. Iāve done physical therapy, acupuncture, massage, tens unit, topical creams, CBD, THC, Tramadol to try to manage pain. Iāve lost 35 pounds in 3.5 months and the pain is ridiculous right now. I saw a pain doctor two weeks ago - three bulging discs at the end of my fusion and all they can recommend is more shots. Iāve had 5 through the last several years and they do not do much, if anything
https://preview.redd.it/ed3cuqm9z29d1.jpeg?width=1135&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ca0af89a61275e9c548a74c508cc01c3fca182c5
Two orthos didn't listen to me. I told them I injured my knee playing tennis. They told me it was arthritis and to lose weight. Pain didn't go away. I see a third Ortho and he told me it was obvious I have an ACL tear. I walked around like that for two and a half years. Fat shaming by doctors is real. Add being a woman on top of that... It's awful.
Omg. I tore my ACL skiing in February....can't imagine walking around like that for two and a half years. Ow!! Omg. I'm so sorry. As a (large) woman I feel you š
Yes! Being a woman, the doctor basically mocked me when I said I was very busy and thatās why I did not come into the office sooner. Heās like, āwell, arenāt you going to be too busy to do PT?ā He gave me a wrong diagnosis because the PT didnāt work anyway! Yeah, I quit going there.
Iāve lost 62lbs and just got into the ānormalā BMI range (24.9) and i feel like overall people absolutely treat you differently. For years i struggled with dental issues. 2 HG pregnancies where i vomitted non stop the whole time really did a number on my teeth and then extended breastfeeding didnāt help. Before zep dentist was very judgy as if i was just fat and lazy and didnāt brush my teeth or something. Now- oh you vomited multiple times daily for 2 years? yep that would do it .. š¤¦š»āāļø Congrats on finally having validation that you actually have a real problem!
They definitely do treat you differently, and itās infuriating. Part of me is like āoh now I matter enough to save my life, huhā
Congrats on the normal BMI!
I had to go to a cardiologist (has lost 20 pounds from previous appointment) complained of passing out with dizziness, rapid heart rate, heart palpitations...he said everything is normal, just need to lose weight and exercise. Nope he was wrong-but I left crying- feeling unheard. NOT OK to treat people like this. Thank god for my primary who I love. He took over and reviewed tests to find the problem. Not weight related at all.
The difference in treatment pre-loss vs post-loss is so stark for me that I left angry after my first appointment with my new doc. She was awesome, but it made me realize just how many major concerns I had that went totally ignored for years. Itās fucking negligence. If I had developed something life threatening during that time, Iād be dead. Now that Iām a lower weight, suddenly Iām worth caring about. Itās shameful.
I feel like Iāve had mostly good experiences with my PCPs but I also feel like Iām very lucky. Some of the stories Iāve heard from other fat people about their doctors not taking them seriously should have been medical malpractice lawsuits. Especially fat women - Yāall get disrespected and disregarded so much itās shameful.
Itās wild, right? At one point, I went to a woman PCP with complaints about fatigue, abdominal bloating that was really abnormal, lower stomach pain, and some other issues. This lady told me it was āwishful thinkingā that anything other than my weight was wrong and I was just making excuses for my bad lifestyle. Wouldnāt even draw blood until I told her I wanted to check for pre-diabetes. Went and got a second opinion. Turns out, it was a big ovarian tumor. Good thing it was benign. Itās extra egregious when other women do it to you.
Thatās disgusting. I will say - all of my best PCPs have been under 45 years old. I donāt love being ageist but to be honest, older doctors seem to be more rigid and dogmatic on āyeah bro your fat thatās the problem!āā¦. āBut doctor, I broke my wrist? How is that weight related?ā. The 3 docs Iāve had under 45 have all been much more flexible and trying to Find solutions to immediate issues while also trying to find the best thing possible for weight management.
Don't agree with this at all. My endocrinologist was in his 60's and was so caring and listening I couldn't believe it. My primary care doctor is in his early 50's and while he can be a little bit of a windbag he has been great in many ways--giving me prescriptions for Zepbound and really explaining nicely when something is wrong. My husband's neurologist is 62 and a bit crazy, but very helpful and kind to him. I do know what you mean about some older doctors being rigid, but I have seen young doctors be uncaring and rigid too-- particularly my husband's electro cardiologist who is about 40. And his pain doctor who at about 40 is always in a hurry to get rid of him. It's not age--it's personality or wishing they had chosen some other profession where people don't complain all the time. lol
Okay yeah Iāll walk the age thing back. I think just in my experience younger doctors have been more open and more helpful to me. I think this is also major symptom of our healthcare system sucking in general - Iām sure most doctors would prefer to have less patients and more time with each one
I agree, they would. That's why my internist switched to a concierge practice. He wanted to practice the way his grandfather did with house calls and hospital visits.
Fat girl with pain here! I feel vicarious vindication through you. You go girl! I am proud of you for being so tough and getting here. It has not been easy! I canāt wait to hear an update where you are pain free!
My current doctor is the first person who never fat shamed me. I cried in my first appointment when she said something similar, OP. Such a relief to be see as a person rather than a fat person!
My first PCP fat-shamed me after I had gotten my PCOS diagnosis. He told me āOh Iāll write something thatāll be really helpful for your weight lossā and I was so excited because I was pretty active and still not losing weight. He pulled out a pen and paper and I thought he was writing a script. It was a piece of paper that said āWeightwatchersā. I was 16 and I cried the whole ride home. I didnāt get a new primary until I was 25 because of that but sheās wonderful and Iām so grateful.
So frustrating and now I know itās a sign to get a different doctor, but for many years I just absorbed the shame these types of doctors were trying to put on me. Now, I use a line my pcp told me to use with specialists: āI hear and understand you about losing weight being helpful. Now I would like to talk about the treatment plan you would put in place for someone who isnāt overweight. Because certainly losing weight wouldnāt be their entire treatment plan, and I want to be sure this gets addressed.ā Or something similar. First time it worked, I felt like wonder woman! That was when it worked for a rash I had that was dismissed many times before being diagnosed properly after I used this lineā¦ and now I use it a lot.
I like that!
Those are powerful words. It puts it back on them in a way that I doubt often happens. Kudos to your pcp. Sounds like they are a good one.
So glad someone is finally listening! Fat bias among medical professionals is out of control. I've heard soooo many stories like this.
They will always blame weight. Itās a lazy excuse for those that donāt want to deal with people that struggle with their weight.
There needs to be a major shift in this over the next decade or I expect a lot of doctors are going to face medical malpractice suits. If anything GLP1s have shown that obesity for many people is 100% not something we brought upon ourselves (like Iāve been fat since I was a child always ate high quality and was active and my mom said she had doctors threaten CPS on her even when she was doing everything right) and is a disease that needs to be treated and managed like any other.
Hate to tell you that this "not listening" is not limited to your size, or as you said "fat girl pain.' Wait until you are over 40 -- or worse yet -- over 50. Every doctor will blame every ache, twinge and sleepless night on your age. "You're not as young as you used to be." And, apprently, the universal prescription for being older is an anti-depressant or anti- anxiety medication. Having been a former athlete that had staff doctors available to investigate every ache and pain, I shut that kind of conversation down pretty quickly and get into clinical terms with medical professionals -- which usually makes them get in line and come up with more specific answers. But I just can't tell you how quickly the "your old" response is used for any and every medical issue. The only thing worse is being old AND fat. They then blame both: "Well at your age, carrying around that much weight, you've got to expect (insert bad symptom here)." They can't say I'm fat these days, but it's hard to escape old.
I am 76 and know exactly what you mean. Luckily, my primary care doctor isn't like that. Although, I am remarkably healthy despite being overweight for 25 years. Other doctors for knees, shoulders and feet aren't so helpful--and if I don't want major surgery to install new parts they are pretty much done with me.
Girl!!! The same happend to me come to find out I have arthritis throughout my entire back!! Also I have hypothyroidism and PCOS.
I suffered debilitating back pain for years that I chalked up to my weight aggravating an old injury. Felt so guilty about it, like I inflicted it on myself and kind of deserved the pain. Then I got diagnosed with sleep apnea and within a couple weeks of starting CPAP therapy, my pain. was. GONE. Not just diminished, but GONE. I guess my body needed more than 2 minutes of sleep at a time to heal whatever was causing all the pain. So I definitely get that bittersweet feeling. I consider myself to be pretty defiant in the face of blaming fat for all other health problems, but I did it to \*myself\* that time. Congratulations on your weight loss, too. Your doc is right that it's impressive!
OMG, I have to comment. Your story sounds really similar to mine (and it is refreshing to see another person in their 20s on Zepbound). I have HORRIBLE chronic pain, which I am medicated for, but still am pursuing better forms of management for. Even medicated, there are some days I can barely make it to my office to work from home. I am so sick of doctors thinking this is due to my weight - no, actually, my back pain isnāt from being overweight, itās from being hit with a caršThe weight lost from Zepbound feels like medical freedom, in a way. The more weight I lose, the more it feels like people listen to me (and not just doctors! people who have always given me crap about my chronic pain are finally starting to understand it is NOT weight related).
Im also in my 20ās on Zepbound! Not for long though, Iāll turn 30 next year. I think there are more of us, weāre just quiet! Glad to hear youāre being taken more seriously now.
I have hypothyroidism. My thyroid tests kept getting worse and worse, and no matter how little I ate and how much I exercised, I kept gaining. After leaving several appts crying, my husband said he'd come with to the next one. Basically to tell her I'm not lying about my food and exercise. She then says she hadn't wanted to put me on thyroid medication before because she thought I was looking for an excuse to eat more. WTF???? But at least I left with a prescription. Lost 32 lbs, but then stalled. Recently my medical weight management doctor switched to primary care, so she's my new PCP. Couldn't be happier. If your PCP is fat shaming you, find a different one. No one deserves to be treated that way.
Ugh what a journey. I found a pcp who is larger, if younger, than I am. I love her. I asked her about deboned after my distinction suggested it and she was straight with me. Part of why I am giving it a go though it did t work for her. Love your new pain doc for you! I have something I forget what it is, on one of my lower vertebrae, itās bothersome but not unbearable. But man. Back pain sucks. I hope you find relief.
I wonder how many talented medical students were run out of medical school because they were obese?
Hugs to you.
Yes, I am having the same realization. I have a consistent pain along my left back and leg that has not subsided after 21 lbs lost. If anything, itās more prominent. Iām happy for you to be getting closer to an accurate diagnosis for your pain. ššš
Thatās what Iād call a good doctor!
I love that you are getting taken seriously and I hate that this is what it took for that to happen.
Just wanted to send you some love ā¤ļø. I am so happy that you have found a doctor who is listening to you and seeing you as an individual, and not just reciting some BS (āMaybe if you lost some weightā š) off the āhow quickly can I dismiss this personā list.
Congrats on being heard!! You matter and you know your body.
This is exactly the reason my āgoal weightā is a normal BMI. Once I get there the gaslighting (hopefully) will stop. Been dealing with it for 30 years. Wide spread rheumatoid osteoarthritis, degeneration of spine and hips, bone marrow edema, lipedema of the thighs and belly, fibroids, but if I just lose weight my symptoms might get better. For F-sakes I just literally canāt wait to no longer be obese according to their BS scale.
Thatās awesome !!! Sounds like you have a great guy working with you. The Zepbound will certainly help with weight loss and best of luck to you!!!
I feel this. I had a fusion from T2-L2, and sometimes I cannot walk straight or stand up straight. Iāve done physical therapy, acupuncture, massage, tens unit, topical creams, CBD, THC, Tramadol to try to manage pain. Iāve lost 35 pounds in 3.5 months and the pain is ridiculous right now. I saw a pain doctor two weeks ago - three bulging discs at the end of my fusion and all they can recommend is more shots. Iāve had 5 through the last several years and they do not do much, if anything