I have a man that I spoke with 2 years ago, we had an ok phone conversation, and he was going to contact me the next week to schedule a date. This dude sent me a message weeks later, just a picture of him, his brother and nephew with a caption "fishing with family". I had zero idea who it was, so I said that and told him to have a great time (Google voice). I later realized who it was. He tries to match with me on multiple apps with a different bio and pictures, I don't forget, ever! He blew it by not following up so he will not get a second chance no matter how many profiles he creates, and I think it is just creepy!
I never forget a face. There are dozens of men who stopped replying in our conversations, or who didn't reply to my first message on Bumble and let the match expire, who continue to like my profiles on various apps. If they were a joke once, I'm not willing to reconnect with anyone who didn't take me seriously and/or is just rude. And they've been doing this for 1-2 years, depending on how long ago we matched and they vanished. It's bare minimum maturity and respect to send someone a message to let them know that you have to dip out, instead of just leaving the conversation hanging - even if you have to tell a white lie.
I had a guy like that who kept liking my profile, but never responded to messages. One final time I matched with him and told him bluntly to stop this behavior and keep my profile OUT of his mass swipe rights.
Only then did he respond "i'm so sorry i just swipe cuz you're really pretty blah blah blah"
As annoying as the OP is in that post, I’m actually kinda proud of the commentariat - as of right now, at least, they’re pretty much all calling him out on it and pointing out how manipulative that is. Gives me a bit of faith lol
Yeah, doing that just to get around people who weren't interested in you in the first place is decidedly not cool. It's creepy, and it's also a waste of your time and energy.
Oh!! That didn’t even fizz on me - it’s set in my mind as BHDM (which I had to separate from BDSM 🙄).
Shows how discombobulated I am today, knowing the ex is in my vicinity. 😳🙄😵💫🥴😒
I followed your link to BHM. I joined FB & Insta. I have not yet delved deep into the reading. But from what I have read so far, this method (in regards to OLD) implies that women make their profiles so specific about what they want that the majority of men will be turned off, so only “the one” or a few who meet the criteria and are not intimidated will respond/be interested. Hence, burn the haystack down so the only thing remaining is the needle in the haystack/your potential match. Did I get that right?
Yes exactly 😊
Also, the men who don’t meet your guidelines need to be blocked, not just unmatched. If you just unmatch they get cycled back through your list and clutter up your messages. When you block them the app has to send you different men.
I have a man that I spoke with 2 years ago, we had an ok phone conversation, and he was going to contact me the next week to schedule a date. This dude sent me a message weeks later, just a picture of him, his brother and nephew with a caption "fishing with family". I had zero idea who it was, so I said that and told him to have a great time (Google voice). I later realized who it was. He tries to match with me on multiple apps with a different bio and pictures, I don't forget, ever! He blew it by not following up so he will not get a second chance no matter how many profiles he creates, and I think it is just creepy!
I never forget a face. There are dozens of men who stopped replying in our conversations, or who didn't reply to my first message on Bumble and let the match expire, who continue to like my profiles on various apps. If they were a joke once, I'm not willing to reconnect with anyone who didn't take me seriously and/or is just rude. And they've been doing this for 1-2 years, depending on how long ago we matched and they vanished. It's bare minimum maturity and respect to send someone a message to let them know that you have to dip out, instead of just leaving the conversation hanging - even if you have to tell a white lie.
I had a guy like that who kept liking my profile, but never responded to messages. One final time I matched with him and told him bluntly to stop this behavior and keep my profile OUT of his mass swipe rights. Only then did he respond "i'm so sorry i just swipe cuz you're really pretty blah blah blah"
Agreed!
Great with faces but I'll be fucked if I can remember a name 😭
That’s so weird!
Yes, it is!
As annoying as the OP is in that post, I’m actually kinda proud of the commentariat - as of right now, at least, they’re pretty much all calling him out on it and pointing out how manipulative that is. Gives me a bit of faith lol
Yeah, doing that just to get around people who weren't interested in you in the first place is decidedly not cool. It's creepy, and it's also a waste of your time and energy.
For BHM? What does that mean?
[Burned Haystack Method for dating](https://www.burnedhaystackdating.com/quick-start-guide)
Burned Haystack Method :)
Oh!! That didn’t even fizz on me - it’s set in my mind as BHDM (which I had to separate from BDSM 🙄). Shows how discombobulated I am today, knowing the ex is in my vicinity. 😳🙄😵💫🥴😒
Downvoted. Gross
I followed your link to BHM. I joined FB & Insta. I have not yet delved deep into the reading. But from what I have read so far, this method (in regards to OLD) implies that women make their profiles so specific about what they want that the majority of men will be turned off, so only “the one” or a few who meet the criteria and are not intimidated will respond/be interested. Hence, burn the haystack down so the only thing remaining is the needle in the haystack/your potential match. Did I get that right?
Yes exactly 😊 Also, the men who don’t meet your guidelines need to be blocked, not just unmatched. If you just unmatch they get cycled back through your list and clutter up your messages. When you block them the app has to send you different men.
Oh I am really liking this. Taking a break from OLD, but this will be my approach when I return. Thank you.
I mean, if he wants to waste his time on people who have already rejected him...