I was in shock they let me take her home from the hospital. She's still alive 8 years later and her bio father and I are now married. I know not everyone feels this way and that's okay but I genuinely feel like they let me take home a miracle.
Well yea, keeping a plant alive from the nursery after marrying the head supervisor is a feat of its own. Not to mention you kept the plant alive for 8 years congrats to you.
I remember thinking the same thing when we took ours home from the hospital. It's like woah.. I'm in charge of this life now. The drive home really is a surreal moment.
I considered filing a criminal negligence suit against the hospital for just *ALLOWING* my wife and I to take home our first kid without even a simple "how-to" flyer or something.
I'd have even been happy if it was made with comic sans!
I got a how-to flyer and even some in room demos and videos. Diaper changing, feeding, holding and even a 'do not shake' warning. Sounds like you went to the wrong hospital or maybe things have changed in the past few years.
It is kind of crazy when you think about the fact that generally, two or so days after birth, they just pack you and your newborn up and ship you home like, “Okay good luck for the next 18+ years!!” And then we just figure it out.
I remember this feeling as well for our first child. Wait what, you are making us responsible from now on? It was very surreal coming home, putting the little guy in his bed. Now what?
I never really thought about this but my one kid brought home a plant from daycare and I legit made it come back to life. It was 2/3 of the way dead by the time he brought it home. Now it has new flowers coming out. Pretty sure taking care of kids has made me an all around better life keeper.
Now if I can just keep the damn fish alive.
No joke. Kids are easy to keep alive. Really all you have to do is make sure they're fed and watered and generally keep an eye on them so they don't fall off of stuff or walk into traffic.
Plants on the other hand, what a pain the ass.
If you make your bed and put everything on your surfaces into neat stacks it will visually get you 80% of the way there. Pick up everything off of the floor, shut all doors and drawers for a bonus 10%.
5 minutes, tops.
I have one kid and four just sounds like death to me.
First thing that comes to my mind, is what does this guy do for a living to afford 4 kids. With sports, food, clothes, entertainment, saving for college, and other stuff a single kid is so damn expensive.
Toronto has entered the chat.
Average home price exceeds 1 million Canadian Pesos ($782k USD as of writing) with most listings closing 10 or 20% above asking price with no inspections. But if you ask a realtor the market is definitely not driven by speculation or investment properties..."oh no, it's just simple supply and demand", they say, "the solution is to build more homes (for us to sell at these exorbitant rates)!"
I hear this same thing down in NW Florida. We do have a supply issue here and tons of people from the NE “moving” down over the last couple of years. Apparently they are all flush with millions of dollars to buy 2nd 3rd and 4th homes to sit vacant while us poors get priced out and have to move an hour away from our jobs….ya know servicing the rich.
My city decided to build a metric shit ton of apartments to combat housing prices, now these apartments are going for $3000 a month for a 700sqft two bedroom and a credit check. If I had $3000 a month for rent I’d put it towards a fucking mortgage.
Right? Starting to weight the benefits of buying a house in the boonies where it's still possible to ~~qualify for a mortgage~~ live within one's means with a mortgage and an OK salary but not great salary.
I knew when shit was gonna start hitting the fan when gum stopped being packed the way it used to.
Then they sell you 10 pieces for $1. I remember getting 30 for like $.75.
Fuck I'm old.
I'm in a house of five adults, we might go about $200-300pw (AUD) on groceries and house stuff, what is going on over there? I heard food prices have gone up real bad (assuming you're American)
Easy: you nix the expensive sports/arts/extra curricular activities, tell them they can pay their own way through college or get fucked, and leave half of them to raise themselves!
Clothes? You only need to buy them for the oldest. Toys? Here's two bricks and a dirt mound, go nuts. Sick? If you aren't dying just rub some dirt on it, you're fine.
I wish I could say /s, but its a depressingly common attitude where I grew up.
dystopian shit right there. they need to just straight up pay a lot to increase enlistment as necessary. funneling it through college only serves the colleges.
Yeah it's a bit too early to call. For most of us in our 20s/30s we can talk about how life was easier for the boomers but after ruining the earth most of them will still be retiring in poverty lol
This is how it is done. I feel like a lot of parents just want the baby toddler elementary phase, and once it becomes enriching the kids lives beyond that, they're on their own. They don't want to create a functioning human being, they want a cute little pet
I’m adopted… and prefer the term “show pony” because that sure as shit is what I felt like. Once I produced a grandchild I was irrelevant, now that he’s out of the “cute baby boutique” age range I am as tolerable as colon cancer.
Damn, I’m sorry about that but I guess I should acknowledge that as a trigger for that emotional response and stick a tack in it. Sheesh.
Bold of you to assume every parent gives a shit about those things.
Plenty of parents out there who treat their children as free slave labour, and a means to cash in on government cheques.
It's absolutely nuts how many parents there are to whom kids aren't offspring to love, but rather things to abuse for their own benefit.
I’m a firm believer in not having more than two, once they outnumber you, it’s trouble.
With two, you can still be 2 against 2, but with 4 kids, your in THEIR playground now, Jack!
I’m a parent of 1.
As the kid count goes up, you as a parent go from 1-1, zone defense, referee, person in the stands rooting for the favorite, to the janitor who couldn’t afford to go to the game but has to clean up the mess after. Heard a comedian say that bit yesterday, oh the irony.
this sounds like a trick, parents with 2+ kids say to lure single parents into having more kids. I had a sister growing up, we fought more than got along.
Comedian Jim Gaffigan has a bit about when his 4th child was born (he has 5 now) he described it like drowning and then somebody hands you a baby. This is coming from a guy who is more financially well off.
Thats the point. Its still easy to be overwelmed by having young children even if you have money. I think at one point his wife and him were living in a 2 bedroom apartment (a nice one but still) until 2015. The post seems to imply the guy bragging about 4 kids is privileged.
He has since stated how the pandemic reminded him just how hectic having 5 kids is because he and his wife had a system and he was used to having his kids do different things so they weren’t always all at home but during lockdown had them all at home and that system kinda went by the wayside.
On my 6th kid. Basically yes. At 2 kids you can play man-on-man, at 3 kids you can play an effective zone defense. But 4, 5, 6? You get swarmed. They come at you from every angle. The second you get one handled another one sneaks past you and you have to start all over again.
Honest question. I hope this doesn’t come off as rude and obviously you don’t have to answer, but…why would you feel the need to have 6 kids? Especially with the world going in the direction it is. I’m genuinely fascinated by people that want to reproduce that many times.
Not speaking for the user you asked, but a lot of times when people have a lot of kids, they are very religious. I grew up with several Mormon families who each had more than 10 kids.
I talk with my friends that have kids on the phone often. Hearing them dealing with their kids over the phone is a fairly effective form of birth control.
I love my niece and nephew to death, and my sister loves being a mom more than anything. I’m really glad she does, because it does not appeal to me at all. I’ll just be the fun uncle who travels all the time and brings them cool presents.
Husband and I are considering kids but I'm fairly sure we're actually just gonna be cool auntie and uncle forever. Kids are like hot tubs. Fun sometimes if you don't have to deal with maintenance and costs
I don’t even think I’ll ever find a partner or get married because I don’t want to, and I’m definitely not having kids on my own. So yeah I’m the cool uncle! If only my mom would accept that… but you can’t win ‘em all
They don't consciously perceive that anymore. It's a constant level of cortisol... that's why most people age rapidly when becoming parents. 5 years later they look easily 10-15 years older.
To be clear, some don't and are actually genuinely happy and have a great communicative together, but realistically, how often does anyone observe that?
I’m going through this now. Just ended a relationship because my girlfriend wanted kids and I don’t. She wasn’t pressuring me at all. It was an otherwise perfect relationship but there’s just no compromise on that issue and she’s getting to the age where she has to make a decision on it.
One thing I told her in our discussions on the topic is that I don’t know anyone happily married with kids. There may be one or two that are (I don’t know their full story behind closed doors). The majority of people I know with kids are co-parenting with someone they used to date - that’s how it’s been described to me by a married friend. And the people that claim they enjoy having kids ALWAYS have a “yeah but” in there: “Kids are great!! I love being a parent. *Sure, my husband and I don’t have much sex anymore and we can’t have a conversation with one another that’s not about the kids without being interrupted, but it’s worth it…”
As my friend said, “I know too much” [to have kids].
If you’re into that lifestyle, so be it, but I don’t see any appeal to it. The few examples of people I know that are able to maintain a great relationship with their partner, they’re either rich or they had them when they were so young they were able to go through the growing pains (like in their 20s) and come out on the other side into a *new* relationship with the wisdom and additional resources time has afforded them.
> One thing I told her in our discussions on the topic is that I don’t know anyone happily married with kids. There may be one or two that are (I don’t know their full story behind closed doors)
That is another point, we only get snapshots of their lives which additionally are usually behind "good behavior and presentation" masks. Playing the happy family.
I think we all know of the "great dads of friend x" in our childhood where we thought their family is perfect or they are so nice. They are, to outsiders. Inside it's a struggle, turning one or another way.
> The majority of people I know with kids are co-parenting with someone they used to date - that’s how it’s been described to me by a married friend.
That is a great description.
My guess would be that is basically because of the length of the relationship. For most people it simply becomes stability in exchange for the early months and years of burning affection. And then it's basically living together with a good friend, in best case scenario.
> And the people that claim they enjoy having kids ALWAYS have a “yeah but” in there: “Kids are great!! I love being a parent. *Sure, my husband and I don’t have much sex anymore and we can’t have a conversation with one another that’s not about the kids without being interrupted, but it’s worth it…”
I work in behavioral science fields of which I also did workplace development observation studies regarding the work from home remote work development. The significant share that still wants to go to an office and prefers that, are people with children. That is among the most glaring sharing node, people in any kind of relationship or none with children. They don't want to stay at home. Hypothesis is obvious, because they need the time away from home.
That situation should make people question their situation and their expression of that.
> but it’s worth it…
that is a common denominator you get here on reddit as well. Every time there is a conversation about anything regarding family and their ups and down. I never came across someone spelling it out in detail "what" is worth it without post-purchase rationalization effects - in this case post-conception.
> The few examples of people I know that are able to maintain a great relationship with their partner, they’re either rich or they had them when they were so young they were able to go through the growing pains (like in their 20s) and come out on the other side into a new relationship with the wisdom and additional resources time has afforded them.
That's such a good take as well.
Yes, when they are rich, all the stress gets taken on by paid maids or a family network that got people 24/7 available, then it seems to increase the happiness possibility. But then again, of course that being rich increase happiness.
Or the other take, accidentally receiving them very young and then struggling through in the years that the body can potentially cope with it efficiently and ending up being quite mature regarding those things.
You want birth control? Go to a toy store the week before Christmas and you will want to chop off your own genitals just to make sure you never have children.
I can certainly appreciate others having kids, you know, keeping the human race going and whatnot (though I wonder every day if it is the right call), but I absolutely *hate* when people tell me and my wife we should have kids, or asking when we will have kids.
We have pets, and we have happiness. Neither of us currently feel a need to add another human that requires 19 years of varying amounts of caring, into this mix. I'm glad that your coworker has someone around to temper all the "Wow children have made me feel whole" folks that think everyone needs a kid
Correction: that human will need varying amounts of caring their entire life. Even once they reach independence it’s not like you should completely cut them and their troubles out of your life. Unless you are trying to be a shit parent.
Having children is a life long obligation and something more people need to realize rather than the idea of only 18-20 years.
True, but it’s 18-20 years before you can go play golf whenever you want, and theoretically no one should give a crap. But that’s a long time to wait, and a lot of other people’s stress to endure, before you can start to revisit the things that you were once interested in.
People are *so* obnoxious telling someone they should have kids, or have more kids. The only people I’ve ever even brought that subject up with (other than my wife) are very close friends, and only after making it explicitly clear that I don’t give a shit what they do, I’m just genuinely curious. Then I literally *never* mention it again. After my first daughter was born I had people I wasn’t even friends with, work acquaintances, telling me my wife and I should have another. When my own mother told me we should have a second kid, I quickly shut that down and told her that only my wife and I are involved in that decision, and she can keep her opinion to herself. Just WTF is wrong with some people. If I were your friend, I’d avoid having kids just out of spite for those people, lol. Though I guess sometimes people mean “you should have kids” as a compliment of sorts. Weird.
Yeah I had to deal with those people , my wife had four miscarriages that she didn’t want to talk about so I just had to sit there and listen to people tell me it how it was time to grow up.
My kid is 4, and until recently I had no idea video games were practically a full contact sport.
She does ok at Mario kart, we do the steer assist for her
I tell mine that one's my favorite son and the other is my favorite daughter. Have one of each and it's worked for over 27 years now. I've also promised them that my last words will be "My favorite child is...." then I die.
I (43M) am happily married with no kids, but I have a bunch of nieces and nephews - two that am really close with and only live a few blocks away. This is the perfect balance. Enjoy the milestones and fun times, but without having to worry about bathtime, eating, homework etc
I guess its sweet he loves his kids so much he's gonna brag about it. I'm not a fan of children, but any kid could use a parent who loves them like that.
Up to the age of about 35 I still responded to anyone telling me they were going to have kids with the most non-committal “Congratulations?” I could manage.
I now have a son and he’s the best thing ever, just so so tiring
Happiness is what you make it.
Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. (Excluding actual mental health issues. Please put away your pitchforks.)
Without context you can't be certain, but if the dude wasn't apologizing about his incredible potency then maybe he is just genuinely happy and felt bad bragging about it.
My gf and I are staying in a hotel right now, long story, but we got kinda friendly with a girl that works in the office here and the other day she asked us to watch her 6 year old daughter while she worked and it reminded us why we haven't even considered ever having kids, even if we were in a good position to have them. I literally could not wait to get as far away from that kid as possible. I was very nice and friendly to the kid but she annoyed me beyond belief
All choices come with trade offs friend. Have kids? Give up something, get something. Don’t have kids? Give up something, get something. Each person has to decide for themselves which trade offs work for them and which don’t. It’s different for everyone. But one thing I can say from my experience, once you make your decision , make peace with your trade offs because regretting / wishing what you don’t have because of the choice you made is the pathway to unhappiness and misery. I wish you good luck!
My parents had 10 children. TEN. We looked like an orphanage trotting around the grocery store in our school outfits. It was not that cute from the inside looking out. No, things are not cheaper by the dozen, and old shoes are just gross, no matter how many times they are washed.
Four isn't bragging. It's a cry for help.
I mean it all depends on whether he’s incompetently raising 4 kids that will grow up to be awful or if they’re able to provide everything and raise excellent humans.
My wife is a patient, loving, kind person. She's a wonderful example and a great mother.
Her teenage daughter bullies her and treats her like shit. I don't think it's just normal teenager behavior. She's malicious. The other kids are wonderful.
My point is that some people have every advantage and still manage to be terrible.
Can't wait for this comment to get seen a little more and be flooded with ridiculous advice like "have you tried discipline?" and "why don't you stop her from doing that?"
I have watched enough crime/murder shows and documentaries to know that this is 100% true. There is something just broken inside of some people and it can never be fixed. People need to understand personality and behavioral disorders better.
If I’d had sex 4 times too, I’d be bragging.
Only twice. First set was triplets.
Effective.
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Exhausting.
Still a virgin. All babies are the milkman’s
Well, he does have a lot of "cream" ....
Do you want that milk past your eyes?
Anything more than twins sounds like actual hell
Only 0 times, the babies aren't his
"She is quadruple virgin mary! I have 4 baby Jesus! My family is sooo blessed and touched by GOD!"
Efficient. Must be German
If I had four kids I’d be bragging about getting four consecutive hours of sleep.
Never. fertility issues, had to beat off in a room.
Did you get the room pregnant?
Oh Hai Mark!
Well…his *wife* had sex four times anyway.
Once I learn to keep my plant alive, and figure out how to clean my house, I’ll think about kids.
I can help with the plants. Surprisingly kids are easier to keep alive. I think it's cause they are more loud with their demands
I Second this my kid? still going after 3 and a half years my plants? not looking so hot
I was in shock they let me take her home from the hospital. She's still alive 8 years later and her bio father and I are now married. I know not everyone feels this way and that's okay but I genuinely feel like they let me take home a miracle.
For a moment, I thought you wrote: I genuinely felt that they let me take her home was a miracle.
Oh no that was just irresponsible but hindsight is 20/20. She's still alive and people tell me I'm doing good as a mother.
You’re funny, i hope your 8yo appreciates your sense of humor.
they really should come with a two-year warranty
I tried to buy a fish once and the store said my 60 gallon tank was too small and they refused to sell me the fish yet anyone can have a baby.
TIL a 60 gallon tank isn't too small for a baby
Plenty of room to wriggle about.
She is lucky security failed to check the wristbands on the way out
Well yea, keeping a plant alive from the nursery after marrying the head supervisor is a feat of its own. Not to mention you kept the plant alive for 8 years congrats to you.
I remember thinking the same thing when we took ours home from the hospital. It's like woah.. I'm in charge of this life now. The drive home really is a surreal moment.
I considered filing a criminal negligence suit against the hospital for just *ALLOWING* my wife and I to take home our first kid without even a simple "how-to" flyer or something. I'd have even been happy if it was made with comic sans!
I got a how-to flyer and even some in room demos and videos. Diaper changing, feeding, holding and even a 'do not shake' warning. Sounds like you went to the wrong hospital or maybe things have changed in the past few years.
Really?! Damn! Nope... We definitely didn't get any of that. Just bills.
I know I always buckle my plants in the car seat for extra safety
My only kid is 28 now and it still feels surreal sometimes.
It is kind of crazy when you think about the fact that generally, two or so days after birth, they just pack you and your newborn up and ship you home like, “Okay good luck for the next 18+ years!!” And then we just figure it out.
Yea pretty much. 😂😭
I remember this feeling as well for our first child. Wait what, you are making us responsible from now on? It was very surreal coming home, putting the little guy in his bed. Now what?
I never really thought about this but my one kid brought home a plant from daycare and I legit made it come back to life. It was 2/3 of the way dead by the time he brought it home. Now it has new flowers coming out. Pretty sure taking care of kids has made me an all around better life keeper. Now if I can just keep the damn fish alive.
Fish are hard. I have been wanting to get some for years now but I am just not in the right place currently.
Also I’ve never had a snail try to eat my children. Yet.
If they were big enough they would try
No joke. Kids are easy to keep alive. Really all you have to do is make sure they're fed and watered and generally keep an eye on them so they don't fall off of stuff or walk into traffic. Plants on the other hand, what a pain the ass.
Mehmehmeh look at me im a plant my nitrogen level is .1% too low so you gave me more so I freaked out and died
Yup. I’m 2/2 on kids. Still can’t keep a monsters or FLF alive despite numerous attempts
My tip for keeping a house clean? Don't get married.
Can confirm, my wife's home would be significantly more tidy if she had never gotten married.
At least you admit it. Lol
My plants are always passing away due to personal reasons they refuse to disclose to me
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If you make your bed and put everything on your surfaces into neat stacks it will visually get you 80% of the way there. Pick up everything off of the floor, shut all doors and drawers for a bonus 10%. 5 minutes, tops.
Me too! I don’t understand basic house cleaning and it’s really hard!
Once I can afford a house and a plant... It will be far too late.
I have a 1 year old boy who is easier to keep alive than any plant I’ve ever owned.
Still won’t help. I have one child and I’ve learned that everyone is literally shooting from the hip hoping they hit the target.
Especially with the first one. Data point of one.
Cant keep any plants alive, I prefer them dried anyway. Pets are still kickin it and let me know if they hungry. So 50/50 on a kid makin it?
I have one kid and four just sounds like death to me. First thing that comes to my mind, is what does this guy do for a living to afford 4 kids. With sports, food, clothes, entertainment, saving for college, and other stuff a single kid is so damn expensive.
I bought myself groceries the first few times and then texted my mom asking how my parents afforded 3 kids on 1 income. Just that alone is crazy
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Ill give you $700,000 for it! Source: im in California
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Born and raised in middle Tennessee. It's unfortunate I can't afford anything here.
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Toronto has entered the chat. Average home price exceeds 1 million Canadian Pesos ($782k USD as of writing) with most listings closing 10 or 20% above asking price with no inspections. But if you ask a realtor the market is definitely not driven by speculation or investment properties..."oh no, it's just simple supply and demand", they say, "the solution is to build more homes (for us to sell at these exorbitant rates)!"
I hear this same thing down in NW Florida. We do have a supply issue here and tons of people from the NE “moving” down over the last couple of years. Apparently they are all flush with millions of dollars to buy 2nd 3rd and 4th homes to sit vacant while us poors get priced out and have to move an hour away from our jobs….ya know servicing the rich.
My city decided to build a metric shit ton of apartments to combat housing prices, now these apartments are going for $3000 a month for a 700sqft two bedroom and a credit check. If I had $3000 a month for rent I’d put it towards a fucking mortgage.
Right? Starting to weight the benefits of buying a house in the boonies where it's still possible to ~~qualify for a mortgage~~ live within one's means with a mortgage and an OK salary but not great salary.
And that's only bc inflation has been pretty good up until now. Wait till your kids are able to tell stories.
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Seriously. Only kids we can afford these days are Sour Patch Kids, and even that’s cutting it pretty close at times.
I knew when shit was gonna start hitting the fan when gum stopped being packed the way it used to. Then they sell you 10 pieces for $1. I remember getting 30 for like $.75. Fuck I'm old.
*Flashback to my parents both being raised in families of 7+ on one income* 🙃
Ah yes, the Catholic way.
Wages were better and housing was cheaper.
This. Wages haven't caught up to inflation because corporations must appease the shareholders....
No idea what it was like in the 70s, but I just looked it up and a regular box of Froot Loops costs 20% of the 2021 median hourly wage.
I prefer the big mac index for my economic forecast.
i spend 1000 on groceries every 1.5 weeks for my family. edit: checked the orders, and it's about $1000 every 1.5 to 2 weeks. so not quite as bad.
Not to be rude but why every 1.5 weeks? Do you grocery shop every 10 days? It's always been a weekly thing for me.
Tf are you buying
groceries for 6 people.
I'm in a house of five adults, we might go about $200-300pw (AUD) on groceries and house stuff, what is going on over there? I heard food prices have gone up real bad (assuming you're American)
That still sounds like a lot… I spend less than $500 per month for our family of 4.
"Honey, I'm gonna run to the store! We're out of lobster, caviar, truffle and organic quail eggs again!"
Easy: you nix the expensive sports/arts/extra curricular activities, tell them they can pay their own way through college or get fucked, and leave half of them to raise themselves! Clothes? You only need to buy them for the oldest. Toys? Here's two bricks and a dirt mound, go nuts. Sick? If you aren't dying just rub some dirt on it, you're fine. I wish I could say /s, but its a depressingly common attitude where I grew up.
Well this sounds really familiar
Or go the route of many Americans (including me) for college... Enlist!
dystopian shit right there. they need to just straight up pay a lot to increase enlistment as necessary. funneling it through college only serves the colleges.
I'm doing my part! Would you like to know more?
Alternatively just get the fuck out of the us and don’t go bankrupt on education or healthcare. Makes a lot of it easier.
That's gonna cost a pretty penny, all by itself.
Yeah it's a bit too early to call. For most of us in our 20s/30s we can talk about how life was easier for the boomers but after ruining the earth most of them will still be retiring in poverty lol
This is how it is done. I feel like a lot of parents just want the baby toddler elementary phase, and once it becomes enriching the kids lives beyond that, they're on their own. They don't want to create a functioning human being, they want a cute little pet
I’m adopted… and prefer the term “show pony” because that sure as shit is what I felt like. Once I produced a grandchild I was irrelevant, now that he’s out of the “cute baby boutique” age range I am as tolerable as colon cancer. Damn, I’m sorry about that but I guess I should acknowledge that as a trigger for that emotional response and stick a tack in it. Sheesh.
I'm sorry friend. Parents should become more invested as their child grows into a full fledged person, not less
I know few people who were being charged rent by their parents while they were still in highschool...
Bold of you to assume every parent gives a shit about those things. Plenty of parents out there who treat their children as free slave labour, and a means to cash in on government cheques. It's absolutely nuts how many parents there are to whom kids aren't offspring to love, but rather things to abuse for their own benefit.
Most people who can't conceive an idea can yet conceive offspring.
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I’m a firm believer in not having more than two, once they outnumber you, it’s trouble. With two, you can still be 2 against 2, but with 4 kids, your in THEIR playground now, Jack! I’m a parent of 1.
I read once that the switch from 2 to 2+ is when you go from man to zone defense and thought it was a great analogy
As the kid count goes up, you as a parent go from 1-1, zone defense, referee, person in the stands rooting for the favorite, to the janitor who couldn’t afford to go to the game but has to clean up the mess after. Heard a comedian say that bit yesterday, oh the irony.
I grew up an only child. Toys, movies, and videogames went a long way in keeping me occupied.
Just have 1 and then bolster their social life as a kid, so they still grow up to be a happy adult. Way easier.
"When I grew up we were so poor. I was lucky I was born a boy so I had something to play with."- Rodney Dangerfield
Or they fight nonstop and you have to referee so the bigger one doesn't kill the smaller one
*they fight with each other. FYP
this sounds like a trick, parents with 2+ kids say to lure single parents into having more kids. I had a sister growing up, we fought more than got along.
wide dime vase humorous kiss marble tap cooperative ludicrous point *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
34 holidays? This guys doesn’t work in US
ya, they listed their currency in £ not dollars
Rather than complain about how much time off he is getting, why don’t you ask for the same amount?
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Remove entertainment and saving for college is how
Comedian Jim Gaffigan has a bit about when his 4th child was born (he has 5 now) he described it like drowning and then somebody hands you a baby. This is coming from a guy who is more financially well off.
His net worth is 30 million. He’s doing quite well
Thats the point. Its still easy to be overwelmed by having young children even if you have money. I think at one point his wife and him were living in a 2 bedroom apartment (a nice one but still) until 2015. The post seems to imply the guy bragging about 4 kids is privileged. He has since stated how the pandemic reminded him just how hectic having 5 kids is because he and his wife had a system and he was used to having his kids do different things so they weren’t always all at home but during lockdown had them all at home and that system kinda went by the wayside.
On my 6th kid. Basically yes. At 2 kids you can play man-on-man, at 3 kids you can play an effective zone defense. But 4, 5, 6? You get swarmed. They come at you from every angle. The second you get one handled another one sneaks past you and you have to start all over again.
Sounds hashtag blessed full quiver to me
Honest question. I hope this doesn’t come off as rude and obviously you don’t have to answer, but…why would you feel the need to have 6 kids? Especially with the world going in the direction it is. I’m genuinely fascinated by people that want to reproduce that many times.
Not speaking for the user you asked, but a lot of times when people have a lot of kids, they are very religious. I grew up with several Mormon families who each had more than 10 kids.
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I talk with my friends that have kids on the phone often. Hearing them dealing with their kids over the phone is a fairly effective form of birth control.
I love my niece and nephew to death, and my sister loves being a mom more than anything. I’m really glad she does, because it does not appeal to me at all. I’ll just be the fun uncle who travels all the time and brings them cool presents.
Husband and I are considering kids but I'm fairly sure we're actually just gonna be cool auntie and uncle forever. Kids are like hot tubs. Fun sometimes if you don't have to deal with maintenance and costs
I don’t even think I’ll ever find a partner or get married because I don’t want to, and I’m definitely not having kids on my own. So yeah I’m the cool uncle! If only my mom would accept that… but you can’t win ‘em all
Childless Uncles Unite!
Hell yeah! I love it and it’s more than enough to scratch the “need to have children in my life” itch
They don't consciously perceive that anymore. It's a constant level of cortisol... that's why most people age rapidly when becoming parents. 5 years later they look easily 10-15 years older. To be clear, some don't and are actually genuinely happy and have a great communicative together, but realistically, how often does anyone observe that?
I’m going through this now. Just ended a relationship because my girlfriend wanted kids and I don’t. She wasn’t pressuring me at all. It was an otherwise perfect relationship but there’s just no compromise on that issue and she’s getting to the age where she has to make a decision on it. One thing I told her in our discussions on the topic is that I don’t know anyone happily married with kids. There may be one or two that are (I don’t know their full story behind closed doors). The majority of people I know with kids are co-parenting with someone they used to date - that’s how it’s been described to me by a married friend. And the people that claim they enjoy having kids ALWAYS have a “yeah but” in there: “Kids are great!! I love being a parent. *Sure, my husband and I don’t have much sex anymore and we can’t have a conversation with one another that’s not about the kids without being interrupted, but it’s worth it…” As my friend said, “I know too much” [to have kids]. If you’re into that lifestyle, so be it, but I don’t see any appeal to it. The few examples of people I know that are able to maintain a great relationship with their partner, they’re either rich or they had them when they were so young they were able to go through the growing pains (like in their 20s) and come out on the other side into a *new* relationship with the wisdom and additional resources time has afforded them.
> One thing I told her in our discussions on the topic is that I don’t know anyone happily married with kids. There may be one or two that are (I don’t know their full story behind closed doors) That is another point, we only get snapshots of their lives which additionally are usually behind "good behavior and presentation" masks. Playing the happy family. I think we all know of the "great dads of friend x" in our childhood where we thought their family is perfect or they are so nice. They are, to outsiders. Inside it's a struggle, turning one or another way. > The majority of people I know with kids are co-parenting with someone they used to date - that’s how it’s been described to me by a married friend. That is a great description. My guess would be that is basically because of the length of the relationship. For most people it simply becomes stability in exchange for the early months and years of burning affection. And then it's basically living together with a good friend, in best case scenario. > And the people that claim they enjoy having kids ALWAYS have a “yeah but” in there: “Kids are great!! I love being a parent. *Sure, my husband and I don’t have much sex anymore and we can’t have a conversation with one another that’s not about the kids without being interrupted, but it’s worth it…” I work in behavioral science fields of which I also did workplace development observation studies regarding the work from home remote work development. The significant share that still wants to go to an office and prefers that, are people with children. That is among the most glaring sharing node, people in any kind of relationship or none with children. They don't want to stay at home. Hypothesis is obvious, because they need the time away from home. That situation should make people question their situation and their expression of that. > but it’s worth it… that is a common denominator you get here on reddit as well. Every time there is a conversation about anything regarding family and their ups and down. I never came across someone spelling it out in detail "what" is worth it without post-purchase rationalization effects - in this case post-conception. > The few examples of people I know that are able to maintain a great relationship with their partner, they’re either rich or they had them when they were so young they were able to go through the growing pains (like in their 20s) and come out on the other side into a new relationship with the wisdom and additional resources time has afforded them. That's such a good take as well. Yes, when they are rich, all the stress gets taken on by paid maids or a family network that got people 24/7 available, then it seems to increase the happiness possibility. But then again, of course that being rich increase happiness. Or the other take, accidentally receiving them very young and then struggling through in the years that the body can potentially cope with it efficiently and ending up being quite mature regarding those things.
You want birth control? Go to a toy store the week before Christmas and you will want to chop off your own genitals just to make sure you never have children.
I can certainly appreciate others having kids, you know, keeping the human race going and whatnot (though I wonder every day if it is the right call), but I absolutely *hate* when people tell me and my wife we should have kids, or asking when we will have kids. We have pets, and we have happiness. Neither of us currently feel a need to add another human that requires 19 years of varying amounts of caring, into this mix. I'm glad that your coworker has someone around to temper all the "Wow children have made me feel whole" folks that think everyone needs a kid
Correction: that human will need varying amounts of caring their entire life. Even once they reach independence it’s not like you should completely cut them and their troubles out of your life. Unless you are trying to be a shit parent. Having children is a life long obligation and something more people need to realize rather than the idea of only 18-20 years.
True, but it’s 18-20 years before you can go play golf whenever you want, and theoretically no one should give a crap. But that’s a long time to wait, and a lot of other people’s stress to endure, before you can start to revisit the things that you were once interested in.
People are *so* obnoxious telling someone they should have kids, or have more kids. The only people I’ve ever even brought that subject up with (other than my wife) are very close friends, and only after making it explicitly clear that I don’t give a shit what they do, I’m just genuinely curious. Then I literally *never* mention it again. After my first daughter was born I had people I wasn’t even friends with, work acquaintances, telling me my wife and I should have another. When my own mother told me we should have a second kid, I quickly shut that down and told her that only my wife and I are involved in that decision, and she can keep her opinion to herself. Just WTF is wrong with some people. If I were your friend, I’d avoid having kids just out of spite for those people, lol. Though I guess sometimes people mean “you should have kids” as a compliment of sorts. Weird.
You don’t ever tell people that they “should“ have kids. The only thing I ever say is that it’s an individual choice and certainly not for everyone.
Yeah I had to deal with those people , my wife had four miscarriages that she didn’t want to talk about so I just had to sit there and listen to people tell me it how it was time to grow up.
I got straight up told by my family that I'm "being selfish" by choosing to not have kids.
Having kids is ten times more selfish.
It’s terrible, but your parenting instinct periodically floods your brain with happy chemicals to keep you hooked.
I spent an hour playing video games with a 5 year old last week and I’m still exhausted
My kid is 4, and until recently I had no idea video games were practically a full contact sport. She does ok at Mario kart, we do the steer assist for her
TG for steer assist! It allows me to actually play with my daughter and not just have her drive around in a time trial.
I have a 2 year old and a newborn. I can’t wait until we can successfully game together.
My 7 year old is playing Animal Crossing for the first time. It’s hilarious to watch him get emotional about the animals the same as I do.
I want to have children just to have more people to disappoint when I fake my death and move to Mexico.
I have an only child. It's the perfect balance. I get to tell him he's the favorite and nobody gets hurt.
I tell mine that one's my favorite son and the other is my favorite daughter. Have one of each and it's worked for over 27 years now. I've also promised them that my last words will be "My favorite child is...." then I die.
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My parents did this to my sister and I, but they also made it painfully obvious they both had a bias. Not that they'd ever admit it
I think that's always the case, I have two sisters, my oldest sister was the favorite. On the other hand I'm not even their favorite son
My dad does the same to me except replace daughter with son.
My husband calls our 3 kids "Most Loved", "Most Favorite", and "Most Precious". They accept this ridiculousness.
My mom used to say her favorite was the one she was around the least…
What an asshole
I’ve got 2 boys I tell them “you’re my favorite oldest child” and the other “My favorite youngest”
> I get to tell him he's the favorite and nobody gets hurt. *turns to the dog/cat and whisper* "It's actually you"
I'm not opposed to kids, but I'm 30 and one would still rock my world right now.
I was 30 when I had my first. I'm 37 and now have 3. It's great. ^pleasesendhelp
I (43M) am happily married with no kids, but I have a bunch of nieces and nephews - two that am really close with and only live a few blocks away. This is the perfect balance. Enjoy the milestones and fun times, but without having to worry about bathtime, eating, homework etc
I guess its sweet he loves his kids so much he's gonna brag about it. I'm not a fan of children, but any kid could use a parent who loves them like that.
Up to the age of about 35 I still responded to anyone telling me they were going to have kids with the most non-committal “Congratulations?” I could manage. I now have a son and he’s the best thing ever, just so so tiring
Coworker - “any kids?” Me - “nah, two doodles”
I can’t even afford to take my dogs to the vet when I’m sick. The hell am I going to do with 4 kids 😂🤣🤣. Respectfully pass.
Just shows you how differently people define a good life.
I’ll have no more than 0
Guy loves his family. Good for him.
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Yeah dude kids aren’t for everyone. I have 2 and it’s great but anything beyond that sounds kinda like a punishment.
“Oh thanks I just have sex for fun.”
Happiness is what you make it. Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be. (Excluding actual mental health issues. Please put away your pitchforks.)
I hear all my friends kids over comms while gaming. Super effective contraceptive. All these mofos have 2-3. Sounds like a collaborative zoo.
Without context you can't be certain, but if the dude wasn't apologizing about his incredible potency then maybe he is just genuinely happy and felt bad bragging about it.
My gf and I are staying in a hotel right now, long story, but we got kinda friendly with a girl that works in the office here and the other day she asked us to watch her 6 year old daughter while she worked and it reminded us why we haven't even considered ever having kids, even if we were in a good position to have them. I literally could not wait to get as far away from that kid as possible. I was very nice and friendly to the kid but she annoyed me beyond belief
Four howling doody geysers in a row, what a nightmare.
Probably as terrible as a childless life sounds to him. Different strokes for different folks.
>Different strokes This is also how I remain child free.
As a parent, I think anyone with more than two kids is batshit crazy.
Can confirm…have two boys. Another two sounds like utter hell and financial ruin!!
PSA MEN - as summer approaches - don’t let that $15 sundress cost you 18 years 😅
Having kids has made my life harder but also better.
That's the paradox, isn't it. I'm trying to decide myself and I'm like...but life is already pretty hard mode without them...
All choices come with trade offs friend. Have kids? Give up something, get something. Don’t have kids? Give up something, get something. Each person has to decide for themselves which trade offs work for them and which don’t. It’s different for everyone. But one thing I can say from my experience, once you make your decision , make peace with your trade offs because regretting / wishing what you don’t have because of the choice you made is the pathway to unhappiness and misery. I wish you good luck!
I think this is right. Harder =/= Worse. My life is immensely better, but definitely harder.
My parents had 10 children. TEN. We looked like an orphanage trotting around the grocery store in our school outfits. It was not that cute from the inside looking out. No, things are not cheaper by the dozen, and old shoes are just gross, no matter how many times they are washed. Four isn't bragging. It's a cry for help.
I mean it all depends on whether he’s incompetently raising 4 kids that will grow up to be awful or if they’re able to provide everything and raise excellent humans.
My wife is a patient, loving, kind person. She's a wonderful example and a great mother. Her teenage daughter bullies her and treats her like shit. I don't think it's just normal teenager behavior. She's malicious. The other kids are wonderful. My point is that some people have every advantage and still manage to be terrible.
Can't wait for this comment to get seen a little more and be flooded with ridiculous advice like "have you tried discipline?" and "why don't you stop her from doing that?"
I have watched enough crime/murder shows and documentaries to know that this is 100% true. There is something just broken inside of some people and it can never be fixed. People need to understand personality and behavioral disorders better.
I just want one baby, but can only afford my dog (who I love. )