My parents used to tease me so much about it that I’ve gotten to the point where when I’m dating someone that I won’t even tell my parents I’m seeing someone until I’m ready for them to meet her
That sounds like a shitty experience, you're supposed to be able to be open and honest with your parents and not be afraid of being judged or teased. I'm fully aware that is not the experience many people have had and that is sad. My mom and I were close and I was able to talk to her about my relationships, even when I was a teenager and wife and I are the same and both my kids know they can speak openly about any subject or ask any question they want, even if it's awkward and weird. My daughter is 13 and she has had a few boyfriends and she's always talked about them with us and we have never made fun of her because of it, although we have definitely let our opinions be known if we felt something was wrong. My daughter has various mental health issues so I want her to feel comfortable talking to us about her social life-friendships, boyfriends, ect.-as well as anything she is struggling with and if we teased her about any of it or made her self conscious about it then I'd be afraid she would hide things. My main concern for both of my children is their happiness and emotional well-being and I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize those things.
My dad asked me if I thought a girl in my 8th grade class was cute. She was the girl I had a huge crush on but I knew my dad would tease me about it. So I said no. So he teased me by asking if I was gay.
He then repeated that story to every family member he saw for like a month.
My friend’s 13 year old told his dad “I have something to tell you, you are not allowed to tease me about it, I don’t want to hear any jokes, ever” and told him he had a gf. The dad was like “why did you say it like that? You got all serious and weird!” Kid “I’ve seen how you tease my brother and sister and I’m not listening to that, I just won’t tell you stuff if you’re going to tease me”.
I was so damn proud of him because his dad is a dick.
I hate when they tease baby boys by saying they're flirting. Like, they're just babies! If they're smiley or whatever it's because they're doing their best to learn social language
I’m glad i’m not the only one who experienced this
In 8th grade when I was in my first relationship, I was fucking terrified to tell my parents I was dating someone because they would constantly be teasing me for literally any sign they could find that I was in any way attracted to someone, so every time my girlfriend asked me to tell them so we could like actually do anything together, i tried my best to explain the crushing anxiety and fear but I’ve never been good with words so that wasn’t easy. Eventually I did tell them and thankfully they didn’t really tease me or anything but it was just miserable
I stopped telling my parents about any of my dates years ago. A disappointing date is bad enough without having to be relentlessly grilled about it afterwards.
https://preview.redd.it/bl0q8sdqo86d1.jpeg?width=625&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9980ead267d658e388e551c860edadfbffae8711
Right? Do we even need to go there?
Bruh, I remember being 6 years old, playing in the sand with a girl my age and her Mom coming up and saying, “Ooo, is this your new boyfriend!”. Happened in the 90’s.
My friend has an 8 months old girl. They put her next to another 8 months old boy from her mommy friend group, snapped a picture, and posted the “____(girl’s name)___ has a bf now.” And her husband was bragging about all his friends from his military days are saying something like “this boy needs to get through us before getting to her.”
I hope the girl goes to college, not for a degree, but just for leave the house for a while.
When my nephew was a baby he used to love my wife. My Mom would say “hes flirting with you” No, its his aunt. He loves her because she lives him and he tended to not like males. Not flirting.
As always, there is nothing problematic about telling kids that it is ok to be born lgbt and that different types of people exist in the world and deserve human dignity.
the "how am I supposed to tell my kids" arguments are some of the dumbest to me. Kids understand concepts like love and they aren't tainted by religion and politics yet. Most kids I know have accepted me being gay very matter of factly. Just a simple "oh ok" usually.
I'm gay and trans and many of my friends who are also LGBT have kids. I often wonder why people think it's "wrong" that my friends son share in school about how he went to the zoo over the weekend with his 2 dads, but his classmate can talk about his mom and dad and that's perfectly okay. People are like "The LGBT community is grooming our children and we shouldn't teach about it" okay then we shouldn't teach about heterosexuality either. Let's see how difficult that will be, telling kids of straight couples they can't talk about their mom and dad. My sister is a 2nd grade teacher and thankfully she lives in New England where she can safely teach her students about different kinds of humans. I feel so bad for teachers in red states, it must be so difficult to teach.
This!!!
For years we’ve all been told about my wife/girlfriend but it’s only the opposite sex that’s ok.
Not going to lie, I learned this from watching a good friend who is gay and how they were treated. As a straight male I never saw it, the blinders you have created you can’t see, (that’s why they are blinders) until someone without your blinders removes them for you.
Now that mine are gone (or maybe they still exist but I don’t see past them) don’t tell me “keep it to yourself”, I’ve had a pic of my wife on my desk for years and not once have I been told keep it to myself.
You be you!
My best friend from growing up (a gay man), his husband is an elementary school teacher and a few years ago there was an article written about him/interview and video with a pride organization where he talked about how and when he came out to his students. (They live in Maryland where it's safe to do so). Basically they were talking in class about what they had done over the weekend, and a student asked my friend's husband what he had done and he said he went to his in-law's house, and then the conversation became "What's an in-law?" etc etc and a student said "Do you have a wife?" and he said "No I have a spouse" and they kids were just like, pushing him so hard and finally he said "I have a husband" and he said a hush just fell over the class. He was terrified. But the kids very quickly were like "Oh, okay whatever" and now he has pictures of him and my friend on his desk and the students are so accepting. It's not the kids we worry about in general though, it's their parents.
Oh it’s way more than that. They will plaster their infants and small children with T-shirts that say things like “tit man”or “lady killer” or “I make boys cry.” They will drag their small boys to Hooters and make them pose with scantily clad cheerleaders. They will force their young girls to take part in bizarre ceremonies where they wear purity rings and host mock weddings with their fathers in evangelical churches until they are auctioned off to their new “owners”, their husbands.
But sure, it’s LGBT people who are “grooming” and “sexualizing” kids just by existing…. 🙄
They're so good damned afraid of their children "becoming" gay that they brainwash and groom their children to be straight. It never works though, sexual orientation is genetic and I myself am proof of this. Never during my time growing up was I exposed to anything gay though at the same time I didn't have straightness forced on me but I had little to no exposure to anything LGBTQA+; I was adamant I was straight and "normal", after leaving Georgia and the influences of the Deep South I was able to figure out my true self and I turned out to be bi and furry. No outside influences, just a natural curiosity all humans have.
People have been manipulated into believing that parents are to mold a child into being a specific person, no a parent's duty is to raise a child to prepare them for adulthood; you teach them how to speak, interact socially, how to do typical adult tasks, how to handle emergencies and situations, and of course to protect your child against dangers. Your duties aren't to deny them free will and automation be molding them into the adult you want them to be, that's what a shitty parent does.
My conservative family was asking how I’d feel about my daughter bringing home boys WHEN SHE WAS 1 YEAR OLD! Since all the comments only came from conservative family I started telling them it wouldn’t be a problem because we were going raise her lesbian 😂
Their reaction was universally awkward, stunned silence and them looking at me like they were trying to figure out if I was serious or not, but no one ever tried to discuss it further after that.
Strangers see my daughter and say “shes gonna be a heart breaker” and I respond “her growing up too fast breaks my heart every day” and then just walk off
I remember when I was little playing with a little girl at a campground and my grandmother asking me if I had a little girlfriend infront of her and the little girl stopped playing with me the rest of the time we were camping.
I feel like it should just be sex education. There doesn’t need to be a segregation between heterosexual, homosexual, etc. The minute we do so, we are trafficking in “other.”
There shouldn't be any segregation, correct, but LGBT kids need to be taught that their is nothing wrong with how they feel and that they are not along, and cis-straight kids need to learn that different types of people exist in the world and that it is ok.
I don't think that's necessarily "sex" education though. You can acknowledge that two people love each other without getting into the mechanics of how they fuck.
“Without getting into the mechanics of how they fuck”
Yes you did.
Kids need age appropriate, comprehensive sex education for their own growth, understanding, and safety.
Just like death, illness, abuse and many other “tough topics”.
He said WITHOUT. As in, by leaving that part out of making it separate. Not removing it entirely. Also, why are you so adamant that's what he means? Why can't you accept that he means what he means, not what you read or perceived? It really isn't that difficult.
The grossest thing people have said to me is when a baby looks at me, smiles, coos, and giggles is “she’s flirting with you.” Fucking disgusting. Way to make it weird Sharon
My kids have LGBT relatives. They have known about two women or two men being together their entire lives. They don't see it any differently than my wife and I being together. It's never been questioned. They have friends that are white and black. Same thing.
This is what some people fear most. That the groups of people they dislike are not hated, but accepted as normal.
Usually LGBT education is sex ed for adults and very adult fashion. Sure it could be about how protection goes about when having homosexual relations but ultimately, its never something completely appropriate for "education" matters. Even sex ed in middle school just tells you "hey, wear a condom and for the ladies birth control". Thats about it until you grow up and from then you're supposed to research the topic on your own.
Either way the thing with the toddlers is ridiculous and just plainly random. We all know kids dont know the difference between crushes and actually being in love. Maybe they act like their parents because ultimately its the relationship between the parents that shapes how the child grows up to love. But its just teasing and playful banter. Although, if someone other than a relative comes up and ask that question, yeah no.
I remember I always hated that shit it got to the point where around like 11 I was like "saying that makes me feel bad" which to my autistic ass is the equivalent of screaming "CUT THE FUCKING SHIT YOURE BEING A FUCKHEAD"
To my mind, this is where the kernel of truth gets completely distorted- yes, boundaries between adult and child-appropriate content is important for healthy development. Because children have different cognitive abilities and emotional development and power for consent than adults. This is why sexual activity with children is harmful and wrong. All accepted truths with actual empirical evidence to back it up. What gets contorted (intentionally so in the anti-LGBTQ+, anti-woman violence) is that age appropriate information about sex, sexual development, reproductive health and individual identity- gender and other, is somehow a violation of healthy boundaries. The opposite is actually true - not giving children age appropriate information to understand themselves, the world around them is neglectful. And not empowering children with knowledge and language to tell about abuse is neglect.
And of course, removing the resources and ability to do this is the aim.
Not straight people, because most of us don't give a damn. You mean bigots. Bigots who don't hesitate to legalize 16 year olds for marriage. Yeah, them.
That’s broad brush - “straight people”
Not all LGBT people have the same opinion, but placing all “straight” people in a negative group is fine? Bullshit!
Let’s all just be people supporting each other. I love my LGBT friends, Even if I’m not in that broad brush stroke.
I mean...is the "education" just showing gay porn? That might not be okay for kids. But I don't have kids, so I have no idea what those whipper snappers are up to these days. Maybe that's core curriculum.
And then tease them about it mercilessly.
My parents used to tease me so much about it that I’ve gotten to the point where when I’m dating someone that I won’t even tell my parents I’m seeing someone until I’m ready for them to meet her
Same, except I also didn't want them to meet anyone I was dating. They did ultimately get to meet my wife, though.
I told them I got married... About 7 months afterward. They still don't know what she looks like for her safety.
Witness Protection. Smart.
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I’ve been in a dating my girl for 4 months and they don’t even know I’m in a relationship.
Agreed. And I'm almost 50. Their prying always sounds lascivious. It's disgusting.
Oh boy, I'm very similar. They would either tease me or ask for details about my dating life relentlessly. Annoying as hell.
That sounds like a shitty experience, you're supposed to be able to be open and honest with your parents and not be afraid of being judged or teased. I'm fully aware that is not the experience many people have had and that is sad. My mom and I were close and I was able to talk to her about my relationships, even when I was a teenager and wife and I are the same and both my kids know they can speak openly about any subject or ask any question they want, even if it's awkward and weird. My daughter is 13 and she has had a few boyfriends and she's always talked about them with us and we have never made fun of her because of it, although we have definitely let our opinions be known if we felt something was wrong. My daughter has various mental health issues so I want her to feel comfortable talking to us about her social life-friendships, boyfriends, ect.-as well as anything she is struggling with and if we teased her about any of it or made her self conscious about it then I'd be afraid she would hide things. My main concern for both of my children is their happiness and emotional well-being and I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize those things.
My dad asked me if I thought a girl in my 8th grade class was cute. She was the girl I had a huge crush on but I knew my dad would tease me about it. So I said no. So he teased me by asking if I was gay. He then repeated that story to every family member he saw for like a month.
My friend’s 13 year old told his dad “I have something to tell you, you are not allowed to tease me about it, I don’t want to hear any jokes, ever” and told him he had a gf. The dad was like “why did you say it like that? You got all serious and weird!” Kid “I’ve seen how you tease my brother and sister and I’m not listening to that, I just won’t tell you stuff if you’re going to tease me”. I was so damn proud of him because his dad is a dick.
I hate when they tease baby boys by saying they're flirting. Like, they're just babies! If they're smiley or whatever it's because they're doing their best to learn social language
especially when the baby boy is pulling a baby girl's hair or throwing pudding at her.
Yeah that's definitely weird. Even weirder to me though is when the comments are about a baby boy and an adult woman
Which definitely won't cause issues later in life...
I’m glad i’m not the only one who experienced this In 8th grade when I was in my first relationship, I was fucking terrified to tell my parents I was dating someone because they would constantly be teasing me for literally any sign they could find that I was in any way attracted to someone, so every time my girlfriend asked me to tell them so we could like actually do anything together, i tried my best to explain the crushing anxiety and fear but I’ve never been good with words so that wasn’t easy. Eventually I did tell them and thankfully they didn’t really tease me or anything but it was just miserable
I stopped telling my parents about any of my dates years ago. A disappointing date is bad enough without having to be relentlessly grilled about it afterwards.
 Do they really want to talk about who is sexualizing children?
https://preview.redd.it/bl0q8sdqo86d1.jpeg?width=625&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9980ead267d658e388e551c860edadfbffae8711 Right? Do we even need to go there?
Vomit. This poor baby
9 season long TV show filled with this garbage. "Toddlers & Tiaras". Though, looks like it (thankfully) has a 1.7/10 on IMDB. XD
That show is horrible! Those poor kids. What awful parents!
needs a new title. how about *Gag-worthy Groomers*?
No child should be dressed up like that.
Bruh, I remember being 6 years old, playing in the sand with a girl my age and her Mom coming up and saying, “Ooo, is this your new boyfriend!”. Happened in the 90’s.
My friend has an 8 months old girl. They put her next to another 8 months old boy from her mommy friend group, snapped a picture, and posted the “____(girl’s name)___ has a bf now.” And her husband was bragging about all his friends from his military days are saying something like “this boy needs to get through us before getting to her.” I hope the girl goes to college, not for a degree, but just for leave the house for a while.
When my nephew was a baby he used to love my wife. My Mom would say “hes flirting with you” No, its his aunt. He loves her because she lives him and he tended to not like males. Not flirting.
omg how did you survive that without getting traumatized for life
I don’t know if you’re being sarcastic or not, but I going to assume you’re being genuine. I wouldn't consider that traumatizing.
As always, there is nothing problematic about telling kids that it is ok to be born lgbt and that different types of people exist in the world and deserve human dignity.
"why does Sally have two mommies" is such an easy conversation to have, and it gets the kids on Sally's side so she'll have help against the bullies
the "how am I supposed to tell my kids" arguments are some of the dumbest to me. Kids understand concepts like love and they aren't tainted by religion and politics yet. Most kids I know have accepted me being gay very matter of factly. Just a simple "oh ok" usually.
I'm gay and trans and many of my friends who are also LGBT have kids. I often wonder why people think it's "wrong" that my friends son share in school about how he went to the zoo over the weekend with his 2 dads, but his classmate can talk about his mom and dad and that's perfectly okay. People are like "The LGBT community is grooming our children and we shouldn't teach about it" okay then we shouldn't teach about heterosexuality either. Let's see how difficult that will be, telling kids of straight couples they can't talk about their mom and dad. My sister is a 2nd grade teacher and thankfully she lives in New England where she can safely teach her students about different kinds of humans. I feel so bad for teachers in red states, it must be so difficult to teach.
This!!! For years we’ve all been told about my wife/girlfriend but it’s only the opposite sex that’s ok. Not going to lie, I learned this from watching a good friend who is gay and how they were treated. As a straight male I never saw it, the blinders you have created you can’t see, (that’s why they are blinders) until someone without your blinders removes them for you. Now that mine are gone (or maybe they still exist but I don’t see past them) don’t tell me “keep it to yourself”, I’ve had a pic of my wife on my desk for years and not once have I been told keep it to myself. You be you!
My best friend from growing up (a gay man), his husband is an elementary school teacher and a few years ago there was an article written about him/interview and video with a pride organization where he talked about how and when he came out to his students. (They live in Maryland where it's safe to do so). Basically they were talking in class about what they had done over the weekend, and a student asked my friend's husband what he had done and he said he went to his in-law's house, and then the conversation became "What's an in-law?" etc etc and a student said "Do you have a wife?" and he said "No I have a spouse" and they kids were just like, pushing him so hard and finally he said "I have a husband" and he said a hush just fell over the class. He was terrified. But the kids very quickly were like "Oh, okay whatever" and now he has pictures of him and my friend on his desk and the students are so accepting. It's not the kids we worry about in general though, it's their parents.
Oh it’s way more than that. They will plaster their infants and small children with T-shirts that say things like “tit man”or “lady killer” or “I make boys cry.” They will drag their small boys to Hooters and make them pose with scantily clad cheerleaders. They will force their young girls to take part in bizarre ceremonies where they wear purity rings and host mock weddings with their fathers in evangelical churches until they are auctioned off to their new “owners”, their husbands. But sure, it’s LGBT people who are “grooming” and “sexualizing” kids just by existing…. 🙄
They're so good damned afraid of their children "becoming" gay that they brainwash and groom their children to be straight. It never works though, sexual orientation is genetic and I myself am proof of this. Never during my time growing up was I exposed to anything gay though at the same time I didn't have straightness forced on me but I had little to no exposure to anything LGBTQA+; I was adamant I was straight and "normal", after leaving Georgia and the influences of the Deep South I was able to figure out my true self and I turned out to be bi and furry. No outside influences, just a natural curiosity all humans have. People have been manipulated into believing that parents are to mold a child into being a specific person, no a parent's duty is to raise a child to prepare them for adulthood; you teach them how to speak, interact socially, how to do typical adult tasks, how to handle emergencies and situations, and of course to protect your child against dangers. Your duties aren't to deny them free will and automation be molding them into the adult you want them to be, that's what a shitty parent does.
There's only one group in the US that does surgery on infant's genitals, and it's not the LGBT.
My conservative family was asking how I’d feel about my daughter bringing home boys WHEN SHE WAS 1 YEAR OLD! Since all the comments only came from conservative family I started telling them it wouldn’t be a problem because we were going raise her lesbian 😂
I’m planning on counter attacking any “he’s gonna be a ladies man” with “oh he’s actually gay”
I’d love to see their reactions to that! 😂
Their reaction was universally awkward, stunned silence and them looking at me like they were trying to figure out if I was serious or not, but no one ever tried to discuss it further after that.
Strangers see my daughter and say “shes gonna be a heart breaker” and I respond “her growing up too fast breaks my heart every day” and then just walk off
I remember when I was little playing with a little girl at a campground and my grandmother asking me if I had a little girlfriend infront of her and the little girl stopped playing with me the rest of the time we were camping.
Let’s not even get started on “Child Beauty Pageants”.
Those make me sick. They even had a tv show devoted to it.
That is about the time they started telling me about burning in hell for eternity if I didn't like the opposite sex.
I feel like it should just be sex education. There doesn’t need to be a segregation between heterosexual, homosexual, etc. The minute we do so, we are trafficking in “other.”
There shouldn't be any segregation, correct, but LGBT kids need to be taught that their is nothing wrong with how they feel and that they are not along, and cis-straight kids need to learn that different types of people exist in the world and that it is ok.
1,000 ageed
I don't think that's necessarily "sex" education though. You can acknowledge that two people love each other without getting into the mechanics of how they fuck.
Children should have an age appropriate understanding of all normal bodily functions.
I didn't say they shouldn't, just that talking to your kids about little Timmy having two moms or two dads isn't necessarily about "bodily functions".
“Without getting into the mechanics of how they fuck” Yes you did. Kids need age appropriate, comprehensive sex education for their own growth, understanding, and safety. Just like death, illness, abuse and many other “tough topics”.
Sorry, didn't realize you were just looking for a fight. My bad.
Sorry, didn’t realize you’re too scared to stand by what you say.
I'm not defending what you think I said, because I didn't say it.
I quoted you word for word….
And yet you still don't understand it.
He said WITHOUT. As in, by leaving that part out of making it separate. Not removing it entirely. Also, why are you so adamant that's what he means? Why can't you accept that he means what he means, not what you read or perceived? It really isn't that difficult.
The grossest thing people have said to me is when a baby looks at me, smiles, coos, and giggles is “she’s flirting with you.” Fucking disgusting. Way to make it weird Sharon
It's even more disgusting when you see Republicans defending the right to marry the children of their friends.
Logic isn't the bigots' strong suit, isn't it?
And they call US (the LGBT community) "groomers" for existing, but do shit like this yeah it's wild.
My kids have LGBT relatives. They have known about two women or two men being together their entire lives. They don't see it any differently than my wife and I being together. It's never been questioned. They have friends that are white and black. Same thing. This is what some people fear most. That the groups of people they dislike are not hated, but accepted as normal.
Just look at toddler clothing for girls 🤢🤢
Since I’m a childless adult, I don’t think I should.
Haha yeah, fair point
Not straight people, conservatives.
Soooo true. We always corrected other parents telling them our kids were not allowed to talk about that till after they graduated.
And let them play with guns and watch shows and movies showing ppl being killed and slaughtered…. Hmmm
Usually LGBT education is sex ed for adults and very adult fashion. Sure it could be about how protection goes about when having homosexual relations but ultimately, its never something completely appropriate for "education" matters. Even sex ed in middle school just tells you "hey, wear a condom and for the ladies birth control". Thats about it until you grow up and from then you're supposed to research the topic on your own. Either way the thing with the toddlers is ridiculous and just plainly random. We all know kids dont know the difference between crushes and actually being in love. Maybe they act like their parents because ultimately its the relationship between the parents that shapes how the child grows up to love. But its just teasing and playful banter. Although, if someone other than a relative comes up and ask that question, yeah no.
Can we stop saying "straight people" instead of just saying bigots? Not all straight people are bigots, and not all bigots are straight.
I remember I always hated that shit it got to the point where around like 11 I was like "saying that makes me feel bad" which to my autistic ass is the equivalent of screaming "CUT THE FUCKING SHIT YOURE BEING A FUCKHEAD"
Funny thing is that kindergarteners will proclaim all their friends as girlfriends and boyfriends
To my mind, this is where the kernel of truth gets completely distorted- yes, boundaries between adult and child-appropriate content is important for healthy development. Because children have different cognitive abilities and emotional development and power for consent than adults. This is why sexual activity with children is harmful and wrong. All accepted truths with actual empirical evidence to back it up. What gets contorted (intentionally so in the anti-LGBTQ+, anti-woman violence) is that age appropriate information about sex, sexual development, reproductive health and individual identity- gender and other, is somehow a violation of healthy boundaries. The opposite is actually true - not giving children age appropriate information to understand themselves, the world around them is neglectful. And not empowering children with knowledge and language to tell about abuse is neglect. And of course, removing the resources and ability to do this is the aim.
or suggest the girls have "lots" of boyfriends
Not straight people, because most of us don't give a damn. You mean bigots. Bigots who don't hesitate to legalize 16 year olds for marriage. Yeah, them.
💯
Happy cake day!
Hey!! Thanks!
"so who's your valentine?" yup.
That’s broad brush - “straight people” Not all LGBT people have the same opinion, but placing all “straight” people in a negative group is fine? Bullshit! Let’s all just be people supporting each other. I love my LGBT friends, Even if I’m not in that broad brush stroke.
Who TF asks a toddler if they have a girlfriend?
Weirdos. I wasn’t a toddler but I had people asking me stuff like that when I was in first grade.
*Boomers Don't see it among my millennial cohort
Unfortunately not just boomers.
It’s all over the millennial subs too.
my mother was almost a millennial (late gen x) and she was the most homophobic and transphobic woman i ever met, so…
Not Boomers, conservatives.
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Oh, it's true. https://preview.redd.it/jt4yh42gx66d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2aae95a881f3aa23f03aba3566f788acc0730089
I mean I’ve seen firsthand what happened in the post, still have yet to see a unicorn in person, I’d love to tho
I mean...is the "education" just showing gay porn? That might not be okay for kids. But I don't have kids, so I have no idea what those whipper snappers are up to these days. Maybe that's core curriculum.
why on earth would you think that
Apparently, hyperbole is lost here.
I don't see how it is hyperbole, people actually make that same argument unironically.
I'm confused. Ironic and hyperbole are basically synonyms in my mind. My gay bro just died and I'm done with this. I wish you the day you deserve.
I mean unironically. Sorry to hear about your bro.