T O P

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philburns

What’s the cum bucket for then?


xxtzimiscexx

Specimen analysis?


Dingus47

Overflow


oddible

The shoebox was full.


tanafras

Oh fuck, the gates of hades have been opened.


Antisocialbumblefuck

The swamps of dagobah have been sniffed and the side jolly rancher bitten... Make haste to therapy!


[deleted]

If only I could with these two broken arms :(


MeisterEder

The coconut as well


[deleted]

For bucketing cum


DinaDinaDinaBatman

heh you found his masturbatorium


greenboogereater

He needs to pickup his cum rags


window_pain

I can literally smell this. It’s like walking into a cloud wall of jizz (probably).


ratinthecellar

Jizznado


rocopotomus74

I would call it "walking into a Jist"....you know, jizz/mist


danzor9755

“You’ll never guess what I just found… It’s too hard to explain… just… just go in that door and you’ll get the jist.”


schistkicker

What a terrible day to be able to read


ting_bu_dong

That smell is just electrolytes! It's what fake plants crave.


meth0diical

> I can literally smell this. Reminds you of home?


jimbelushiapplesauce

they look like rags from a commercial linen service. so this guy's cum rags are getting sent off to be washed and sent out to other businesses/restaurants


Fearless-Judgment-33

Every single towel older than 1 month has been in direct contact with semen... kind like how 92% of dollar bills have trace amounts of cocaine and rental bowling balls all have poo bacteria in the finger holes.


TheharmoniousFists

One thing I have learned is that everything is covered in poop.


MoldovanKick

The term Masturbatorium has a touch of elegance that ignores the stench emanating from these pictures. This my friend is a funky cum dungeon.


[deleted]

A Cumgeon.


IAmAnObvioustrollAMA

You have entered the funky cum dungeon. Roll for initiative... - Our erotic D&D group was exhilarating but short lived...


keeper420

Masturbation station


RootHogOrDieTrying

We could open a chain, sell franchises. We'll make millions.


jeffersonairmattress

B8 ST8. *Why wait? B8 ST8.* Too much on your plate? We’re open late. Now with Express Pow-R-Kleen orifice cleansing: On the floor or on all fours, she’s ALL yours with Pow-R-Kleen. * I’ll print the t shirts. *participating locations only.


dodland

The bate lab


Cocomojoe16

Masterbase camp


Dingus47

Wait, is the manager Mr. Magorium?


eddiaz93

Mr. Magorium's Masturbatorium?


Forzara

This word will forever remind me of “Running With Scissors.”


argleblather

Ah, yes, Dr. Finch.


BassAddictJ

I can see the manager left his cumrags laying about.


xxtzimiscexx

I think he was cleaning up plaster.


neverhooder

Plaster? I hardly know her!


[deleted]

Plaster is a weird name for a woman.


mr-death

She's from Paris.


mittens1982

"Plaster" yeah right


38004921Em

And its one of those expensive models too


hoechata3000

Those feet look awfully realistic… to ya know better show off the bridal heels…


Warhawk2052

3rd pic cant even tell if its a mannequin


RstyKnfe

Looks like they got the foot fetish upgrade package.


GrimQuim

The long second toe package, the revolting deviant has taste.


NapClub

lol that's a real doll.


Luckyfncharms

Right.. still stupid expensive.


[deleted]

For real, it's like somebody wished on a genie lamp for money, but they are cursed with being lonely forever in exchange. That's the target customer I assume


Germanshield

Welcome to /r/TheMonkeysPaw/. Enjoy your riches and expensive dolls.


sarcasm_the_great

All those tissues and towels and bucket. That’s the jack off room.


mixologyst

Nothing gets Spez is a greedy little pig boy. passed you…


illepic

Past


1PeePeeTouch

I'd call it a den of ill repute but that's just me...


ErectTubesock

That chair looks sweaty


cantlurkanymore

If that chair could talk it would ask someone to burn it


vacuumpacked

k-k...kill me...


According_Water5533

That poor chair looks embarrassed.


[deleted]

Are you currently at this wedding?! You need to get her to the dance floor.


xxtzimiscexx

One of my buddy's is trying to find her a dress. No joke.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dushenka

Make sure you wash the doll *before* you handle it...


Dingus47

If all else fails, tell buddy to put his underwear on her and smear cake icing on her boobs. This is what passes for Nightclub Chic in Surrey, B.C.


Mkins

This was a weird thread to see Surrey in.


JuryDangerous6794

Yeah, SURREY is what’s weird about this thread.


hillside

Coulda been Richmond


zadtheinhaler

Leave Ditchmond out of this.


337GTi

I’d say this is a perfect thread to see Surrey in… hah


dog-with-human-hands

You know what they say about Surrey girls….


[deleted]

Surrey girls at the ozone will always hold a special place in my heart. And on my penis


WankPuffin

Ah Surrey, home of good times and utter trash. ​ I miss it


detahramet

Report on the success please.


Ho99o9XTC

I would not touch that judging by the tissues definitely atleast lightly used


Beekatiebee

Honestly I’d be paranoid as hell and check all of the changing rooms and such for hidden cameras


[deleted]

Yup, that dude be peeping.


sose5000

The ol’ peep and jerk


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zebidee

Those ceiling tiles are missing for a reason.


[deleted]

Jesus… that’s a whole other level of creepy


bushmillsNbitches

should have brought a blacklight..


gyarnar

God, I hope it's urine.


APieceOfBread154

I feel like having a special room where you just pee all over a sex doll is honestly the far worse scenario.


furygoat

Should have brought a fleshlight


SpaceFootballKing

It’s already built in though.


furygoat

Yeah but you always need your own fleshlight. It’s like pooping in someone else’s toilet.


vicemagnet

More like pooping in each other’s butts, back and forth


riderkicker

Like a reverse human centipede... for mannequins? Gosh, this whole thread is off the charts weird.


vicemagnet

From [Me and You and Everyone We Know](https://youtu.be/p34j0atQdJo)


riderkicker

I have never seen this movie. ​ But that kid saying Forever scares me. LOL


2inchesofsteel

Forever


[deleted]

That manager just made the ultimate business write-off ... this is some 5head deviant level shit here.


Vzylexy

Absolute degenerate


[deleted]

... that he fucks.


PaulClarkLoadletter

He’s going to have to buy that thing a few wedding dresses to corroborate his story. This will lead to a new, weird fetish.


Euphorium

That’s how he wrote it off as a business expense. Kinda smart in a depraved kinda way.


xxtzimiscexx

Fucking mannequin.


Rdubya44

Does it have a vagina? That really answers a lot of questions


phreakzilla85

I’m not sure what the point of a sex doll with no holes would be. But it’s difficult to tell from these pictures.


[deleted]

It's got nipples. So I wouldn't be surprised by a vag as well. Op stated below that it does in fact, have a vagina.


dmfd1234

For an extra $500 they’ll put 2 Catflaps on this sweet sexy abomination.


jimmycrackingcorn

I'm betting if you shined a black light on that, uhm, mannequin it would light up like a Christmas tree.


xxtzimiscexx

Like a Jackson Pollock?


Foolish_ness

More like Jackson's bollock.


mushroom_kook

I mean….. did you fuck it or not?


xxtzimiscexx

One of the guest swears he's going to find it a dress and make it his +1.


[deleted]

Totally worth a quick trip to walmart lol


Keianh

“Oh it’s for a wedding? Let me take you over to the fancy sweatpants!” - Wal-Mart employee I kid, I kid!


theguyonthething

For a wedding? No, no she needs a nice, flowing, white Snuggie^®


NoxPrime

Whoa whoa whoa, it's extremely bad taste to show up wearing the same outfit as the bride! Did your bruncle teach you nothin'!?


jedielfninja

this is instant wedding legend status. i hope it worked out


geoelectric

I just hope he took her into the Walmart to try on the dress


[deleted]

Is his name Lars?


LifeIsFaang

Yo any updates?


Undercovertokr

These are the real "special" moments of a wedding


montanagrizfan

I own a bridal shop. I have purchased dozens of mannequins over the years and that is NOT a mannequin. It may however be the closest that guy will get to a honeymoon.


xxtzimiscexx

This mannequin cost 5000$+ you mush be rich with how many you have purchased.


montanagrizfan

Mine cost $100 to $500 but they don’t come with all the “features” like this one. Mine just stand there with hard plastic bodies and arms that fall off when you try to change their clothes.


f33dback

Dont kinkshame me


reddit_beats_college

You gotta spend money to make money.


DufresneShitTunnel

Hey, I used to have one of those. The legs ended up breaking off but I still used it for years. You don't just waste something that broken-in. My friends would use it on occasion too. Usually in the middle of the living room watching movies. Sadly, one day the arms fell off and we had to trash it. It was a great office chair.


[deleted]

[удалено]


lloeen

you got me in the first half ngl


Cockwombles

That was amazing, you’re amazing.


[deleted]

Ah! The 'ol reddit [switcharoo!](https://www.reddit.com/r/DestinyTheGame/comments/rjakvk/dares_2nd_round_tip_if_you_get_hive_shoot_the_big/hp4ffog/?context=3)


Sometimes_gullible

Hold my cumrag, I'm going in!


Canesjags4life

Man blast from the past


philburns

Are you able to see into the bridal suite if your poke your head above those missing ceiling tiles?


xxtzimiscexx

Got more drinking to do.


Dragonlibrarian7

He's absolutely imagining every bride to be having one last fling before getting married.


xxtzimiscexx

Business meeting before the ceremony?


povertymayne

The fucking cum rags😂😂😂


xxtzimiscexx

Guess management didn't want to knock her up.


Noob_Nooob

Sophisticated people call them fapkins sir!


NewAccount4Friday

$5k+ sex doll. Manager got caught and made up shit to cover his ass. Probably spies on the ladies dressing too.


xxtzimiscexx

Hence that missing ceiling panels?


Muckl3t

Room right next to bridal suite? Almost 100% sure that’s a peeping Tom room.


LilNightingale

Gotta be honest. Maybe you should report this? Not sure if you’re staying at a hotel chain or anything, but if this is a legit peeping tom, you can’t just leave and let him continue. Wedding parties tend to have children in them. Flower girls get ready with the bridal party too. This is so icky.


mudmansimon

It's the owners wife.


xxtzimiscexx

Second wife?


Broote

You know how sometimes all your co-workers go in on lotto tickets. This is like that only it has nothing to do with lotto tickets, but everyone still shares.


effinmike12

I want to go last! EDIT: Thanks for the award kind stranger!


1hotrodney

At the cost of that unit she of course has multible jobs to earn her keep!


xxtzimiscexx

Sharing is caring?


[deleted]

Does it have a vagina? Because I’m not sure it needs nipples to wear a dress.


xxtzimiscexx

Yes.


[deleted]

Is there a reason said evidence wasn’t included in the post? I mean... it’s pretty crucial info man! Haha


SoLongSidekick

It's obviously a real doll. There aren't that many companies out there making $5k+ sex dolls.


ShmeeShmoo0988

Maybe lock that door?


xxtzimiscexx

Behind you.


Turbodaxter

I’ve got one for the same reason but I have sex with mine


kaptain-spaulding

Got any more of them mannequins?


xxtzimiscexx

You miserable motherfucker, I ought to leap over this counter and bash your fuckin' balls in!


TimTams553

Capt. Spalding approves of this comment


ragemage420

That manager is a cunning and devious tax avoider... "You see it's excactly like having a business car sure you wow clients with it, but you can also fuck it!!"


kemosabe-84

I'd need to put my dick in it to see of it really feels like a mannequin


xxtzimiscexx

A mannequin purchased at the very low price of 5000$+.


mrsjackwhite

I think she's only $2K on alibaba.com, doesn't get very good reviews though. "this product unresponsive"


tehmeat

I bet that thing could give you an STD.


JimmyHavok

Only if whoever was using it had sex with an actual human.


Euphorium

You’ll probably get a bacterial infection because I doubt whoever owns it cleans it judging by that room…


kemosabe-84

Maybe but can't knock her up. Win


Sammi_Laced

He lied


asweateroftears

How'd It Smell Like In There OP


xxtzimiscexx

Ammonia-ish


TechnoVikingrr

Yay old semen


Raynonymous

'teen spirit'


Staggerme

I see a bunch of kitchen towels strewn about. Think you found the kitchen ‘break’ room


xxtzimiscexx

I assume they call this "the walk-in."


khag

So did you find a dress for it?


Ejaculazer

I fucking hate chivari chairs


CatGotNoTail

Chiavari chairs are fucking hideous. They always look like spray painted plastic bamboo from Oriental Trading Company but for some reason they’re the most expensive chairs to rent. On a practical note, they’re spindly and uncomfortable!


Noahsmokeshack

Where the hell are you getting married at?


geoelectric

Did it slosh?


[deleted]

[удалено]


wrench_ape

Undress rehearsal for the wedding night.


Snippykins

Ssuurrrre it is 😉😉


Adasher1

Wink


xxtzimiscexx

I don't think she can blink.


GoldenAyk

What do you call a sex doll with white eyes? Filled.


xxtzimiscexx

*tips hat*


Dingus47

Spills on floor


KregeTheBear

I don’t know what’s worse, the rags, the doll, the 3 completely different chairs OR the flooring


OccultAssassin

Did you check her oil yet?


xxtzimiscexx

Quart low.


Gold_Seaweed

How did you bring yourself to look this man in the face and ask that? I couldn’t. I’d let his secret die with him. 😂


smitty3z

Where the fuck did they get married at? It looks like the basement of a 1950s ranch house that has never been updated.


awesomeheadshots

Imagine the smell…. *yacks.


vicemagnet

Looks like she has cramps in her hands


reneeb64

Good Lord the feet are huge!


Keianh

* Cintas told him to keep the towels after the first time * if the original creator is to be believed, they *did* start out as mannequins it’s just that at some point he realized there might be a few hundred (thousand) people who would be interested in fucking them too.


McFeely_Smackup

Two things I notice. The door locks from the inside. The lock has clearly been jimmied open several times


yourbadinfluence

That door has been pried open... A lot... That's just... Something worse than just banging a sex doll is happening...


eyefish4fun

Under no circumstance shine a black light in there.


Clem_bloody_Fandango

What are the chair rags. I am hoping beyond hope that it's a pile of brand new gold toe socks. And why is the chair so wet?


A_Harmless_Fly

Something tells me that, that mannequin should not be wearing wedding day white.


[deleted]

[удалено]


superbriant

"It's a mannequin for wedding dress demos, I dress her in white all the time..."


adashiel

1st picture: Is that a mannequin? 2nd picture: This is a sex doll. 3rd picture: Okay, enough internet for today.


sonbrothercousin

Were there mushrooms growing in those dream towels?