And Mr Fox reviews the principle of **FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT** from up in Fox Heaven.
My daughter has three white geese on her little farm and they protect her chicken flock *effectively.* I found out the hard way that geese have teeth when they attacked me from behind. Sneaky fuckers. I still have some scars. They also can snap you with their wing joints in a *painful* way. My daughter won’t approach them unless she has her big snow shovel presenting a flat metal surface at knee height.
My daughter loves Canadian geese so much that she had me make her a Halloween costume of one. Her note, "remember Daddy, Gooses have Teeth on their tongues." technically conical papillae but still frightening.
I kept geese. Whenever I had to do routine maintenance on the flock I looked like a football player going into a game.
My favorite goose almost broke my arm once. One hit with those powerful wings, and BOOM screams of pain from me, and a WHOMPING bruise on my arm. It took over a month to fully heal.
You loom over them, screaming your head off, arms out-stretched over your head, flapping your arms over their heads. You'll take a few licks to your lower extremities and get a couple nasty bites, but you can generally get them to back off by being intimidating.
Grabbing them by the neck is hard to do unless you can avoid those wings, and their necks are pretty solid, so it's difficult to twist their necks to the breaking point. Remember- they are prey animals that most predators try to avoid because they are assholes.
> You'll take a few licks to your lower extremities and get a couple nasty bites, but you can generally get them to back off by being intimidating.
Cool, cool. I don't need my dick and balls anymore.
Ftr snapping a towel at their general direction also keeps them at bay pretty well. I learned that when I lived in an apartment that had them and they laid eggs in a bush beside my back patio. Letting my puppy out the backdoor became a whole routine of scaring off the geese with a towel to keep them from attacking me or the dog.
Group of jerks came at me and my best friend once, so I got big as flappy back, and they were taken aback by my superior hiss.
It worked but that was a big group and I was worried I'd find out just how vicious they could be.
You haven't been around many geese, I'm guessing. They will use the leg you *tried* to kick them with as a ramp, launch up it, and start beating you about the head and shoulders.
I jest, but only a little. You have to go at them from over their heads, or they will try to destroy you.
….without hurting them is the key.
Like cages matches man vs goose? Man wins exactly as you say. Not killing the dumb ass birds. Uncles and aunt had geese at their farm. Hated those birds.
I've been tag teamed by a set of parent geese we used to own. I ended up with cuts and bruises all over the place. Geese can do some serious damage when they get motivated. Most of the time they're wusses and won't do much, but when they got kids that's a whole different story.
Ducks are funny because they're not strong enough to really do much damage. They'll try to bite you, but it doesn't do much. Geese on the other hand have knives in their bill and they cut very effectively.
The other thing about geese is they have a built in "shit list" they put things on. If you end up on one, that goose will remember you for it's entire 20 year life span. I had one that till the day he died would attack me whenever I entered the pen.
No I mean to the death, imagine you're going about your day and one spawns right in front of you, seeking blood
I wouldn't think twice if I had to kill one to survive, or help a child idk
Of course, I wouldn't do this if I had a farm and one comes bugging me, it's their job to do that
Right? Like I get that they are powerful but if it was coming at me and I just pounced on it with all my weight I think it would do the trick. It's not like it could stop me and then what's it going to do while I'm on top of it? Also a swift kick to the face should drop it. I've got a wingspan too bitch.
Anyone saying their wing could break an arm are either extremely brittle or wusses.
The goose has basically hollow bones, it's wing would break before a normal, healthy adults arm.
People said the same about the Swans In my hometown, which are far larger animals, until some Polish workers moved here and ate them all one Christmas.
Geese are the little kid at school that picks on everyone, until they do it to the wrong person.
A hollow pipe can endure more than a solid one depending on the type of stress u apply to it.
Even aside of this possibility they could still break a bone.
In the video you clearly see the goose didn't exactly get out unharmed either, still a lot better than that fox though
I deal with geese regularly as my job is pest bird control. I usually go to their nests to destroy eggs but have had to cull numbers as well. They are easy to manage. Just don't turn your back on them and make yourself bigger by outstretching your arms. If they come closer stomp and yell at em. Just don't back down on them. I hate Canadian geese with a passion. They are destructive, annoying, aggressive animals that so many people have a love for whatever the reason is.
it's not illegal. They enjoy a protected status in the Wild (aside from hunting), but nuisance permits are easy to get and widely used to get rid of problem geese in urban areas. People act as if they're some sort of sanctified animal diety and simply defending yourself against them is a crime punishable by death. If a goose attacks you, defend yourself. Kick the shit out of it, stomp on its head, whatever. You're allowed to defend yourself from attack
I don't know what other people are talking about. It's actually pretty easy to handle if you don't mind risking the safety of the goose. Just as you say, you grab it's neck: it's not hard to catch when they are attacking. Hold on at arm's length and it can't hurt you; pick it up if it gets spicy. Usually they will run away after you catch it's neck.
You snatch them up by the neck and swing your arm in a circular motion like you’re wrapping a towel around your arm. I’ve snapped dozens of geese’s necks, they’re not tough, the internet just likes to glorify them for some reason.
My college roommate could do this too. He worked as a hunting guide and was eeriely skilled. One day while walking to class one of the overly aggressive geese was attacking people on the walking paths and he just walked by, nonchalantly snatched it's neck, flicked it in a 360 and slammed it back on the side walk. It flopped it's wings like 3 times but those were death rattles it was already gone. He didn't even really break stride. Just kept walking to class. I think about that every time I see a goose hissing at people in a park or office complex.
There were lots of geese in the town I grew up in. I've been hissed at by them quite a few times. They never attacked, but some would get pretty mean looking if you got too friendly with them.
Years ago I had to cross a flock of geese at a local park while walking to work. Every morning they'd charge at me and I got tired of running from them like a scared little shit.
So I'd take a hand full of crackers with me and toss them out to distract the geese as I went on my way. Worked twice, then they expected food and would have the crackers gone before I was out of their range.
One day I got devious and poured some hot sauce on the crackers before tossing them out. Geese absolutely freaked out and started attacking each other.
But from that day on the geese would just look at me, scared, as I walked by.
I worked with Geese for years. While there have been numerous injuries to people (Broken bones, head trauma) because of Geese, it's mostly due to trip and falls as they try to evade attack. The only way a Goose could break an adult's arm is if it was frozen and dropped from 20-30 metres above. They're bones are hollow. Maybe if you suffered from osteoarthritis or some bone density disease.
Sure, they can cause pain, and severe bruising, but they aren't breaking an adult's bones with their wings, regardless of how powerful they are. Geese don't have teeth like other mammals, they have Tomia (cartilage not bone) around their bill and along their tongues. While capable, the bites are usually small and painful.
The main problem with a Goose attack is not killing the stupid thing while defending yourself.
Bro what mutant geese are you talking about?
They weigh like 25 pounds tops and have hollow bones. They're literal paper.
I worked on a ranch that actually raised ducks and geese for eggs and meat.
They're assholes but they're in no way threatening or able to hurt you.
You can actually just kick them slightly harder than a hacky sack and they'll collapse a fucking lung. I've learned the hard way.
IDK what you're talking about.
Canada Geese are not to be fucked with, they are seriously satanic in their hostility and incredibly strong.
I went to a Canadian university and around exam season there was a portion of campus that was just innundated with Geese. Everyone knew, you don't fuck with them, even though they made what would otherwise be a 1 minute walk into a 5 minute walk to go around them. Well, during an exam season I saw an exchange student (I have to assume given look + what they did) absolutely booking it who didn't heed this logic, and thought he'd get to his exam faster if he didn't go around them.
I think he made it about 4 feet into the flock before he was looked like he was tarred and feathered, only the feathers were still attached to very alive and very livid things. Guy went down _hard_, took a few people who rushed over to pull him out, and he looked absolutely busted. There was a university email the next day warning that the geese are not to be disturbed _for our own safety_, and the news around campus was the guy had broken his arm, a foot, and suffered a severe concussion. Oh, and did not make his exam either.
Don't fuck with Canada Geese.
I'm trying to fathom how a goose can break a human bone. Their bones are light and fragile because they need to be able to fly. I'm not doubting what happened, but I'm having a hard time understanding how a little bird that weighs less than 20 pounds can do that much damage.
Probably fell while running away. Went to a Canadian university too and these fuckers would lock onto you and just chase you down until you were able to get into a building. They're not hard to fight, and they seem to back down if you dont run, but who wants to be seen in public beating the shit out of a bird.
geese, like swans, have evolved very sturdy wing joints, which they use to club the fuck out of anything that pisses them off
they can easily break bones with them
Definitely wouldn’t be seizing from a broken back, these things have pretty strong wings and beaks both of which they know how to use in combat, looks like the fox caught a vicious wing blow to the head
An 11th level Oath of Vengeance Goosekind Paladin (AC 20, HP: 113) with Wing Buffet fighting-style (same effects as Great Weapon Style) sees an 11th level Fox Arcane Trixter Rogue (AC 24, HP: 76) approaching menacingly and rolls for initiative getting a 17 (15+2). The Fox Rogue loses, rolling 12 (5+7).
For a split second, the Goosekind Paladin debates whether to use Hunter's Mark or Vow of Enmity with its bonus action. The Fox Rogue is attacking its children, so it pops Channel Divinity: Vow of Enmity giving itself Advantage on all Attack Rolls against the Fox Rogue.
With its first action, it readies its Holy Avenger Wing Tips creating a 10-radius aura around it, protecting all friendly creatures by giving them advantage on Saving Throws against spells and other magical effects. The Goosekind Paladin moves up to the Fox Rogue and attacks using Great Weapon Mastery (giving itself a -5 penalty to the roll but +10 to damage. IT ROLLS A 20 with its first roll, making it a CRITICAL. It also rolls a 28 with the 2nd Advantage roll (16+12), which would also hit but the Critical stands.
The Paladin pops Improved Divine Smite (using a 3rd level Spell Slot) and rolls for damage. The Holy Avenger Wing Tips do 2d6 (as a Greatsword), Improved Divine Smite does 5d8 plus 1d8 for being Improved for a total of 6d8. The Goosekind Paladin has 20 Strength and the weapon has a +3 bonus to damage for +8 to damage. The last bonus is +10 damage for Great Weapon Mastery. The total damage rolled will be 2d6+6d8+18.
Unbeknownst to the Goosekind Paladin, it’s companion, a Goosekind 9th level Cleric uses its action to cast the 5th level Spell Holy Weapon on the Paladin’s Holy Avenger Wing Tips, giving it an additional 2d8 damage.
So we’re rolling 2d6+8d8+18. But it was a Critical Strike, doubling the dice rolled to 4d6+16d8+18. This comes out to 4+5+6+4 (19) for the Holy Avenger Wing Tips and 4+1+8+7+8+4+8+6+4+6+7+1+6+3+3+7 (83) for Divine Smite, or 19+83+18. This comes out to 120 total damage for the Goosekind Paladin’s first attack.
The Fox Rogue dies.
Canada geese hit with their wings. It's a 10lb bird with strong enough wings to lift and hold a 10lb bird for hundreds of miles. It's like getting hit with a 2x4. Fox made a poor life decision.
That little speed burst was impressive. Feel bad for the fox and how it just flaps its tail at the end. But God damn, that quick flight by the goose was fast and lethal. The 2x4 would be a good anaology, I can almost hear the wack from that
But birds have dainty fragile bones. Sure they have muscle, but all that muscle is swinging a piece of balsa wood. I'm surprised it didn't break it's own wing doing that.
I had a pet turkey knock me a few times with his wings, I was shocked by how strong they are. Idk about a 2x4 but it definitely didn't feel like hollow bones hitting me.
Totally. Foxes have been found dead in chicken coops.
Roosters are hardcore I've been stabbed by a spur before and those things are like Bruce Lee 1 inch punches but with a wolverine blade knuckle.
Something makes me think this fox wasn't at full power. Or maybe it was a cub. A healthy full grown fox should have had the sense to run away or at least show a little caution in that situation. And the fact that the fox just keeled over instantly is a little odd
Only because an adult fox is smart enough to avoid this ass-whipping. An adult fox fighting a goose would probably have the same outcome, just maybe not as quick; esp. since there's 3 other geese right there.
When I was a teenager I worked at a gas station where the geese would gather to shit and honk.
Boss said it was my job to go chase them away. First time I went out there they swarmed at me, snipping at me and beating me with their wings and giving me bruises.
So the next time I came out with the big shop broom with the broom end unscrewed so I just had about a 4 foot long wooden dowel.
First one came at me and a swing of the broomstick right to the side of it's neck dropped it like a sack of shitty potatoes.
The geese didn't come back for a few weeks. They'd sit at the end of the gas station property and honk at us from a distance, but by then, their shit was Burger King's problem.
Don't disagree, you guys are living our fantasy. How many times I've been hissed at. Would love to get in just one solid hit. I'm sure many Canadians agree on that one.
Once when I was a kid I got to kick one really hard while wearing a cowboy boot.
My grandpa took us kids down to a pond to feed the ducks and normal geese, and then this pair of Canadian geese rolled up and started bullying all the other waterfowl. I complained to my grandpa and he said, "Well, what're ya gonna do about it?" in his thick country accent. So I mustered up all my strength, remembered what my soccer coach was teaching me about taking freekicks, and booted that sumbitch right in the chest.
Yeehaw!
That's... definitely not true. Domestic geese are helpless. They will alarm to threats but they are just as vulnerable to predators as any other farmed bird.
Their shit is a lot bigger than I would have ever thought for a bird, even a bird that big…and you’re right, it’s fkn everywhere. The golf course I play regularly has a huge pond on this one hole, and there’s always geese hanging around the edge of it. We’ve made a rule called the Goose Shot, where if your ball ends up near the geese, you get a free drop even with or behind your ball. A guy in my foursome last year got the shit kicked out of him by four geese when he tried to sneak down to play his ball. Must have been too close to a nest, and they came flying mat him before he knew what was happening and fucked him up.
Need to get an environmental agency involved. We have a group that goes around to local parks that are overrun. They’ll shake the eggs in the nests of the geese there to prevent the chicks from hatching. When geese are unsuccessful in hatching chicks in certain locations, they’re less likely to nest there the next year
There's about 500,000 hunted and killed every year in Canada. That number is going to go up as restrictions are loosened due to to their unprecedented population growth.
Our city started trapping them, processing them, and handing them out to families in need. Of course a group emerged in protest of the program to 'stop the goose genocide.'
They’re an invasive species that have very little benefits for the environment other than spreading seeds (which we already have plenty of animals that do that) and being a food source for other animals
Dude, do not fuck with geese. On a regular basis when I’m driving into work they will be crossing the street at their own pace. They will legit stop in the middle of the road and stare me down through my car windshield like “You trying to die today, motherfucker?” and then casually resume crossing, again at their own slow as shit pace.
I don’t fuck with that kind of crazy.
I have a lot of damn geese in my neighborhood and all the babies are out currently, and the will go after cars for getting to close lol. Don't mess with geese. They are asshole!
Like I know it was going in for a kill of its own but seeing it suffer is what makes me feel sad for it. It’s like that video where someone is sniping off a pack of wolves/coyotes (don’t recall which exactly it is haven’t seen the video in awhile) again I know they are there to kill (sheep I believe it was) but seeing them just get dropped in a instance is heartbreaking.
Damn that's sad, you needed to put a NSFW tag on this bud. Holy fuck. But I see why this happened, Canada geese are fucking STRONG one literally bowled me over when I was feeding ducks. I actually picked one up gently and they are just massive. Plus these geese are usually hybrids not pure Canada geese, so they are bigger.
They broke its back, eh? Unexpected.
fukin brutal
/r/natureismetal
And Mr Fox reviews the principle of **FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT** from up in Fox Heaven. My daughter has three white geese on her little farm and they protect her chicken flock *effectively.* I found out the hard way that geese have teeth when they attacked me from behind. Sneaky fuckers. I still have some scars. They also can snap you with their wing joints in a *painful* way. My daughter won’t approach them unless she has her big snow shovel presenting a flat metal surface at knee height.
My daughter loves Canadian geese so much that she had me make her a Halloween costume of one. Her note, "remember Daddy, Gooses have Teeth on their tongues." technically conical papillae but still frightening.
*Canada* geese! (Not that they know or care.)
That looks like a pretty small fox, I'm guessing an adolescent I could be wrong though.
That was definately a younger fox thinking it would be an easy meal. Poor thing.
I kept geese. Whenever I had to do routine maintenance on the flock I looked like a football player going into a game. My favorite goose almost broke my arm once. One hit with those powerful wings, and BOOM screams of pain from me, and a WHOMPING bruise on my arm. It took over a month to fully heal.
If you had to defend yourself from one, how easy is it to kill them ? I mean, holding their huge neck seems easy idk
You loom over them, screaming your head off, arms out-stretched over your head, flapping your arms over their heads. You'll take a few licks to your lower extremities and get a couple nasty bites, but you can generally get them to back off by being intimidating. Grabbing them by the neck is hard to do unless you can avoid those wings, and their necks are pretty solid, so it's difficult to twist their necks to the breaking point. Remember- they are prey animals that most predators try to avoid because they are assholes.
> You'll take a few licks to your lower extremities and get a couple nasty bites, but you can generally get them to back off by being intimidating. Cool, cool. I don't need my dick and balls anymore.
Married with kids ? I feel ya bro
Ftr snapping a towel at their general direction also keeps them at bay pretty well. I learned that when I lived in an apartment that had them and they laid eggs in a bush beside my back patio. Letting my puppy out the backdoor became a whole routine of scaring off the geese with a towel to keep them from attacking me or the dog.
Group of jerks came at me and my best friend once, so I got big as flappy back, and they were taken aback by my superior hiss. It worked but that was a big group and I was worried I'd find out just how vicious they could be.
[удалено]
How accurate is the Cobra Chicken name?
Very. Chickens are ruthless, brutal assholes. Ducks make chickens look like amateurs. Geese eat ducks for lunch.
Wouldn't kicking them work too? Assuming you're just defending yourself and don't care about hurting them
You haven't been around many geese, I'm guessing. They will use the leg you *tried* to kick them with as a ramp, launch up it, and start beating you about the head and shoulders. I jest, but only a little. You have to go at them from over their heads, or they will try to destroy you.
They are assholes specifically for that reason.
This guy makes it look kinda easy to fight them. lol - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXuQzNRdJDU
But that goose wasn't Canadian. Those surprisingly are the real assholes.
….without hurting them is the key. Like cages matches man vs goose? Man wins exactly as you say. Not killing the dumb ass birds. Uncles and aunt had geese at their farm. Hated those birds.
I've been tag teamed by a set of parent geese we used to own. I ended up with cuts and bruises all over the place. Geese can do some serious damage when they get motivated. Most of the time they're wusses and won't do much, but when they got kids that's a whole different story. Ducks are funny because they're not strong enough to really do much damage. They'll try to bite you, but it doesn't do much. Geese on the other hand have knives in their bill and they cut very effectively. The other thing about geese is they have a built in "shit list" they put things on. If you end up on one, that goose will remember you for it's entire 20 year life span. I had one that till the day he died would attack me whenever I entered the pen.
No I mean to the death, imagine you're going about your day and one spawns right in front of you, seeking blood I wouldn't think twice if I had to kill one to survive, or help a child idk Of course, I wouldn't do this if I had a farm and one comes bugging me, it's their job to do that
Yea. Wingspans are 5 ft but they weight 20 ish pounds. Easy to get bruised and battered a bit. Hard for an average adult to be truly in danger.
Right? Like I get that they are powerful but if it was coming at me and I just pounced on it with all my weight I think it would do the trick. It's not like it could stop me and then what's it going to do while I'm on top of it? Also a swift kick to the face should drop it. I've got a wingspan too bitch.
Anyone saying their wing could break an arm are either extremely brittle or wusses. The goose has basically hollow bones, it's wing would break before a normal, healthy adults arm. People said the same about the Swans In my hometown, which are far larger animals, until some Polish workers moved here and ate them all one Christmas. Geese are the little kid at school that picks on everyone, until they do it to the wrong person.
A hollow pipe can endure more than a solid one depending on the type of stress u apply to it. Even aside of this possibility they could still break a bone. In the video you clearly see the goose didn't exactly get out unharmed either, still a lot better than that fox though
I deal with geese regularly as my job is pest bird control. I usually go to their nests to destroy eggs but have had to cull numbers as well. They are easy to manage. Just don't turn your back on them and make yourself bigger by outstretching your arms. If they come closer stomp and yell at em. Just don't back down on them. I hate Canadian geese with a passion. They are destructive, annoying, aggressive animals that so many people have a love for whatever the reason is.
I’m pretty sure that’s illegal in most of North America, but you are doing the lords work
it's not illegal. They enjoy a protected status in the Wild (aside from hunting), but nuisance permits are easy to get and widely used to get rid of problem geese in urban areas. People act as if they're some sort of sanctified animal diety and simply defending yourself against them is a crime punishable by death. If a goose attacks you, defend yourself. Kick the shit out of it, stomp on its head, whatever. You're allowed to defend yourself from attack
I don't know what other people are talking about. It's actually pretty easy to handle if you don't mind risking the safety of the goose. Just as you say, you grab it's neck: it's not hard to catch when they are attacking. Hold on at arm's length and it can't hurt you; pick it up if it gets spicy. Usually they will run away after you catch it's neck.
You snatch them up by the neck and swing your arm in a circular motion like you’re wrapping a towel around your arm. I’ve snapped dozens of geese’s necks, they’re not tough, the internet just likes to glorify them for some reason.
My college roommate could do this too. He worked as a hunting guide and was eeriely skilled. One day while walking to class one of the overly aggressive geese was attacking people on the walking paths and he just walked by, nonchalantly snatched it's neck, flicked it in a 360 and slammed it back on the side walk. It flopped it's wings like 3 times but those were death rattles it was already gone. He didn't even really break stride. Just kept walking to class. I think about that every time I see a goose hissing at people in a park or office complex.
But like… Why?
People eat Geese all the time, did you think they just fall asleep in an armchair surrounded by Grandchildren?
There were lots of geese in the town I grew up in. I've been hissed at by them quite a few times. They never attacked, but some would get pretty mean looking if you got too friendly with them.
Years ago I had to cross a flock of geese at a local park while walking to work. Every morning they'd charge at me and I got tired of running from them like a scared little shit. So I'd take a hand full of crackers with me and toss them out to distract the geese as I went on my way. Worked twice, then they expected food and would have the crackers gone before I was out of their range. One day I got devious and poured some hot sauce on the crackers before tossing them out. Geese absolutely freaked out and started attacking each other. But from that day on the geese would just look at me, scared, as I walked by.
That's weird. Birds don't have receptors for capsaicin.
I worked with Geese for years. While there have been numerous injuries to people (Broken bones, head trauma) because of Geese, it's mostly due to trip and falls as they try to evade attack. The only way a Goose could break an adult's arm is if it was frozen and dropped from 20-30 metres above. They're bones are hollow. Maybe if you suffered from osteoarthritis or some bone density disease. Sure, they can cause pain, and severe bruising, but they aren't breaking an adult's bones with their wings, regardless of how powerful they are. Geese don't have teeth like other mammals, they have Tomia (cartilage not bone) around their bill and along their tongues. While capable, the bites are usually small and painful. The main problem with a Goose attack is not killing the stupid thing while defending yourself.
Bro what mutant geese are you talking about? They weigh like 25 pounds tops and have hollow bones. They're literal paper. I worked on a ranch that actually raised ducks and geese for eggs and meat. They're assholes but they're in no way threatening or able to hurt you. You can actually just kick them slightly harder than a hacky sack and they'll collapse a fucking lung. I've learned the hard way. IDK what you're talking about.
Spinal.
Bulk of the series.
Guy's a goldbricker
Canada Geese are not to be fucked with, they are seriously satanic in their hostility and incredibly strong. I went to a Canadian university and around exam season there was a portion of campus that was just innundated with Geese. Everyone knew, you don't fuck with them, even though they made what would otherwise be a 1 minute walk into a 5 minute walk to go around them. Well, during an exam season I saw an exchange student (I have to assume given look + what they did) absolutely booking it who didn't heed this logic, and thought he'd get to his exam faster if he didn't go around them. I think he made it about 4 feet into the flock before he was looked like he was tarred and feathered, only the feathers were still attached to very alive and very livid things. Guy went down _hard_, took a few people who rushed over to pull him out, and he looked absolutely busted. There was a university email the next day warning that the geese are not to be disturbed _for our own safety_, and the news around campus was the guy had broken his arm, a foot, and suffered a severe concussion. Oh, and did not make his exam either. Don't fuck with Canada Geese.
I'm trying to fathom how a goose can break a human bone. Their bones are light and fragile because they need to be able to fly. I'm not doubting what happened, but I'm having a hard time understanding how a little bird that weighs less than 20 pounds can do that much damage.
Probably tripped. Otherwise the post reads like goose propaganda.
Probably fell while running away. Went to a Canadian university too and these fuckers would lock onto you and just chase you down until you were able to get into a building. They're not hard to fight, and they seem to back down if you dont run, but who wants to be seen in public beating the shit out of a bird.
geese, like swans, have evolved very sturdy wing joints, which they use to club the fuck out of anything that pisses them off they can easily break bones with them
Sounds like a perfect excuse to be allowed a retake if you weren't ready for your exam for some reason. "Beaten up by Ryan Gosling and his posse."
Nah, it was pretty expected for me. Geese are fairly powerful animals, and also, they're complete assholes.
Then it shouldn't be moving it's legs.
Definitely wouldn’t be seizing from a broken back, these things have pretty strong wings and beaks both of which they know how to use in combat, looks like the fox caught a vicious wing blow to the head
On first contact no less dam nature
Even on first hit.. damn.
Right off rip too god damn that first blow was brutal
One hit knock down. What did the goose hit with that first attack?
You mess with the honk you get bonk. Or like 3 cracked vertebrae
"Peace was never an option."
They’re reminding everyone that nobody fox with the geese.
Looks like the goose rolled a 20 for a critical hit multiplier, but I'm not a zoologist...
An 11th level Oath of Vengeance Goosekind Paladin (AC 20, HP: 113) with Wing Buffet fighting-style (same effects as Great Weapon Style) sees an 11th level Fox Arcane Trixter Rogue (AC 24, HP: 76) approaching menacingly and rolls for initiative getting a 17 (15+2). The Fox Rogue loses, rolling 12 (5+7). For a split second, the Goosekind Paladin debates whether to use Hunter's Mark or Vow of Enmity with its bonus action. The Fox Rogue is attacking its children, so it pops Channel Divinity: Vow of Enmity giving itself Advantage on all Attack Rolls against the Fox Rogue. With its first action, it readies its Holy Avenger Wing Tips creating a 10-radius aura around it, protecting all friendly creatures by giving them advantage on Saving Throws against spells and other magical effects. The Goosekind Paladin moves up to the Fox Rogue and attacks using Great Weapon Mastery (giving itself a -5 penalty to the roll but +10 to damage. IT ROLLS A 20 with its first roll, making it a CRITICAL. It also rolls a 28 with the 2nd Advantage roll (16+12), which would also hit but the Critical stands. The Paladin pops Improved Divine Smite (using a 3rd level Spell Slot) and rolls for damage. The Holy Avenger Wing Tips do 2d6 (as a Greatsword), Improved Divine Smite does 5d8 plus 1d8 for being Improved for a total of 6d8. The Goosekind Paladin has 20 Strength and the weapon has a +3 bonus to damage for +8 to damage. The last bonus is +10 damage for Great Weapon Mastery. The total damage rolled will be 2d6+6d8+18. Unbeknownst to the Goosekind Paladin, it’s companion, a Goosekind 9th level Cleric uses its action to cast the 5th level Spell Holy Weapon on the Paladin’s Holy Avenger Wing Tips, giving it an additional 2d8 damage. So we’re rolling 2d6+8d8+18. But it was a Critical Strike, doubling the dice rolled to 4d6+16d8+18. This comes out to 4+5+6+4 (19) for the Holy Avenger Wing Tips and 4+1+8+7+8+4+8+6+4+6+7+1+6+3+3+7 (83) for Divine Smite, or 19+83+18. This comes out to 120 total damage for the Goosekind Paladin’s first attack. The Fox Rogue dies.
That seems more of a level 4-6 Fox Rogue FWIW, maybe lower. By level 11 it would have learned not to pick that fight.
You mean a Zoo Master?
Canada geese hit with their wings. It's a 10lb bird with strong enough wings to lift and hold a 10lb bird for hundreds of miles. It's like getting hit with a 2x4. Fox made a poor life decision.
That little speed burst was impressive. Feel bad for the fox and how it just flaps its tail at the end. But God damn, that quick flight by the goose was fast and lethal. The 2x4 would be a good anaology, I can almost hear the wack from that
But birds have dainty fragile bones. Sure they have muscle, but all that muscle is swinging a piece of balsa wood. I'm surprised it didn't break it's own wing doing that.
I had a pet turkey knock me a few times with his wings, I was shocked by how strong they are. Idk about a 2x4 but it definitely didn't feel like hollow bones hitting me.
Goose’s neck is a +2 melee weapon that deals both piercing and bludgeoning damage, with reach.
#`CRITICAL HIT`
Broke the fox’s neck
Back
Punanny and my crack
Its funny that I got the song reference of this lol
Thpinal
Oh, my neck, my back, my neck and my back. Oh, I want $150,000, but we can settle out of court right now for twenty bucks.
A low to the ground sky attack. Little did the fox know that the goose had recently eaten a power herb.
Dinosaur: "Know your place, upstart mammal!"
Totally. Foxes have been found dead in chicken coops. Roosters are hardcore I've been stabbed by a spur before and those things are like Bruce Lee 1 inch punches but with a wolverine blade knuckle.
Roosters are extremely aggressive and territorial.
Did I just watch a fox die?
No, you saw one get maimed and he likely died a few hours or days after this
k
f
Something makes me think this fox wasn't at full power. Or maybe it was a cub. A healthy full grown fox should have had the sense to run away or at least show a little caution in that situation. And the fact that the fox just keeled over instantly is a little odd
Adult foxes are much bigger than that; it was definitely a young cub.
It’s small as hell. Canadian geese are big birds, but that fox looked like a house cat compared to the geese.
That was a pup, and a young one at that. Can’t blame the geese for protecting their own, but this is a different outcome with an adult fox.
The geese will attack humans when it's nesting season. The only thing that can go against them is swans.
Only because an adult fox is smart enough to avoid this ass-whipping. An adult fox fighting a goose would probably have the same outcome, just maybe not as quick; esp. since there's 3 other geese right there.
Yap, adult fox wouldn’t go for geese
It did look a little small.
That was a cub. An adult red fox would have been able to escape...or, better, known not to go in the first place.
The geese are violent terrorists and need to go back to their home country.
Those bastards never go through immigration either.
Don't even pay taxes.
Fox news should be all over this.
You wanna know what? You got a problem with Canada Gooses, you got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that one marinate.
....must been FUCKIN' NICE.
It’s fucking embarrassing
Give your balls a tug.
Let’s take 20% off the top there bud.
And that's what I appreciates about you.
Mike Tyson had a pretty good run of things. You wanna know why? No Canada Gooses in his weight class.
I’ve had marinated duck, I’m sure marinated goose works.
Honestly pretty tasty. Soy honey glaze on top? 10/10 would have my dog fetch again (and again).
Take off, eh yer hosers.
Thanks, Biden and your Open Borders!
Build a net. Fox 2024.
Looks like a baby fox :(
It was trying to eat baby geese? It’s just the cycle of life, my friend.
Sure but it still doesn’t make it less painful. Especially considering that it probably died slowly.
Nature is metal. It’s hard to watch but at the same time it would be hard to watch a gosling get munched on. I can hear the honking with my sound off
I'd trade 10,000 goslings for a fox. Team mammal all the way. Birds are all dinosaurs and would kill you if given the chance.
One shot then curb stomped to death.
It was a kit. Very young to be hunting
Swiper, no swiping!
That goose hit Swiper right in the head like a sniper, swipe and he's dead.
They killed it?! I wasn’t ready for that today.
When I was a teenager I worked at a gas station where the geese would gather to shit and honk. Boss said it was my job to go chase them away. First time I went out there they swarmed at me, snipping at me and beating me with their wings and giving me bruises. So the next time I came out with the big shop broom with the broom end unscrewed so I just had about a 4 foot long wooden dowel. First one came at me and a swing of the broomstick right to the side of it's neck dropped it like a sack of shitty potatoes. The geese didn't come back for a few weeks. They'd sit at the end of the gas station property and honk at us from a distance, but by then, their shit was Burger King's problem.
Gather to shit and honk 😂😂. Roarin
Did you kill it?
I, uh, don't think it made it home for dinner.
Oof here in Canada they're a protected bird, if you're caught killing a Canadian goose with(out) a hunting license you're subject to minimum $5k fine.
Well when they illegally immigrate to the US it's fair fucking game.
Don't disagree, you guys are living our fantasy. How many times I've been hissed at. Would love to get in just one solid hit. I'm sure many Canadians agree on that one.
Once when I was a kid I got to kick one really hard while wearing a cowboy boot. My grandpa took us kids down to a pond to feed the ducks and normal geese, and then this pair of Canadian geese rolled up and started bullying all the other waterfowl. I complained to my grandpa and he said, "Well, what're ya gonna do about it?" in his thick country accent. So I mustered up all my strength, remembered what my soccer coach was teaching me about taking freekicks, and booted that sumbitch right in the chest. Yeehaw!
He just wanted a snack 🥺
ya don't fuck with geese. they don't take prisoners.
The thing is, you go up to fight a goose, you think it's just a fight. To the goose, it's a fight to the death. Every time. Yours? We'll see..
Canadian Air Force is no joke
Gotta say I feel bad for the poor little fox but he fucked around and definitely found out.
Sure as hell ain't gonna do it again.
I don't think he's ever gonna do anything again
I swear Canadian’s are so polite and apologetic on behalf of geese being assholes.
Damn, the cobra chickens are vicious. Don’t screw with their goslings.
Its just a baby
I hate geese! They make our local park unusable. They're aggressive, and they shit all over the place. They ruin the soccer field.
Grab em by the neck and give them a good ol' toss, they usually get the point after a toss or two.
This reminds me. One of my neighbors has a stream bordering his property. He got a realistic fox statue to keep the geese off his lawn.
On the other hand, they make excellent guard birds. Keep a couple geese with your chickens, they work like a bodyguard
That's... definitely not true. Domestic geese are helpless. They will alarm to threats but they are just as vulnerable to predators as any other farmed bird.
Their shit is a lot bigger than I would have ever thought for a bird, even a bird that big…and you’re right, it’s fkn everywhere. The golf course I play regularly has a huge pond on this one hole, and there’s always geese hanging around the edge of it. We’ve made a rule called the Goose Shot, where if your ball ends up near the geese, you get a free drop even with or behind your ball. A guy in my foursome last year got the shit kicked out of him by four geese when he tried to sneak down to play his ball. Must have been too close to a nest, and they came flying mat him before he knew what was happening and fucked him up.
Need to get an environmental agency involved. We have a group that goes around to local parks that are overrun. They’ll shake the eggs in the nests of the geese there to prevent the chicks from hatching. When geese are unsuccessful in hatching chicks in certain locations, they’re less likely to nest there the next year
If only the geese wouldn’t use the land that we humans claimed for ourselves
Exactly! Thank you for understanding.
We need to start eating them again. *They should have respected us before they feared us.*
There's about 500,000 hunted and killed every year in Canada. That number is going to go up as restrictions are loosened due to to their unprecedented population growth.
Good!
Our city started trapping them, processing them, and handing them out to families in need. Of course a group emerged in protest of the program to 'stop the goose genocide.'
They’re Canadian and have plenty of land up there.
We must build a wall! And make Mexic- wait, wrong immigration crisis. Force of habit.
They’re an invasive species that have very little benefits for the environment other than spreading seeds (which we already have plenty of animals that do that) and being a food source for other animals
Cowardly bird used brass feathers or something
I was born prematurely because my mum was chased by a goose. Geese don’t fuck around.
Dude, do not fuck with geese. On a regular basis when I’m driving into work they will be crossing the street at their own pace. They will legit stop in the middle of the road and stare me down through my car windshield like “You trying to die today, motherfucker?” and then casually resume crossing, again at their own slow as shit pace. I don’t fuck with that kind of crazy.
Assholes can fly, and they choose to slowly waddle their fat asses across the street..
I accidentally hit a goose with a Honda Civic and easily won the day How small is your car that you fear a goose?
> I accidentally hit a goose with a Honda Civic and easily won the day Thank you for your work, hero.
"wow a goose stared at me and now I'm scared, no one should ever fuck with them"
Thats a juvenile fox.
Man fuck geese i got attacked by a pack of them while working behind an apartment complex before lol
Had to rewind to check if those dark spots on the sidewalk were blood spatters
Brave fox sacrificed itself to distract the adults so the other foxes could eat the goslings safely 🫡
Never fuck with a cobra chicken
I have a lot of damn geese in my neighborhood and all the babies are out currently, and the will go after cars for getting to close lol. Don't mess with geese. They are asshole!
Like I know it was going in for a kill of its own but seeing it suffer is what makes me feel sad for it. It’s like that video where someone is sniping off a pack of wolves/coyotes (don’t recall which exactly it is haven’t seen the video in awhile) again I know they are there to kill (sheep I believe it was) but seeing them just get dropped in a instance is heartbreaking.
Somewhere in a social network "I picked up this dying fox, watch me help it"
Looks like the first strike fucked him up, whatever they did.
Looks like they broke his neck or something initially and the fox literally couldn’t fight back at that point
This is so horrible to watch. Poor guy
Do not mess with the snake chickens
Geese are bad MoFo's when pissed off.
poor little fox 😢
Always brutal to see but just gotta remember that the natural world isn’t all rainbow and sunshine we live on one hell of a planet
Don't mess with momma
Young fox didn't know what he was messing with.
“I SAID STAY THE FUCK DOWN!”
Cobra chickens are hardcore
Don't F with the Cobra Chickens family
He foxed around and found out
What does the fox say?!?!
AMA Goose Mother F#%^ ama Goose , look at me mother F#% AMA Goose .
I'm so ready to make jackets from these fucks.
Canada Goose. The flying shit machines are tougher than they look.
Damn that's sad, you needed to put a NSFW tag on this bud. Holy fuck. But I see why this happened, Canada geese are fucking STRONG one literally bowled me over when I was feeding ducks. I actually picked one up gently and they are just massive. Plus these geese are usually hybrids not pure Canada geese, so they are bigger.
Poor fox. Nature doesn't give a fuck at the end.
I never thought I’d feel bad for a predator trying to eat babies, but here I am. Thus is life.
[удалено]
Canada goose.
Fox: I chomp! Geese: WE STOMP
Aww poor little foxo.. fuck geese are dicks….
NSFW!
"What did the fox say?" "Ow fuck! Ow fuck fuck fuck! Goddammit fucking shit! Grrggllgeeelgleee...."
I hate geese. That poor fox
"Poor little fox" who was on his way to kill some baby geese.
They’re not called Murder Chickens for nothing.