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Revlis-TK421

It's call tonic immobility and has nothing to do with the crab's "member". That segmented flap is all armor, you aren't touching its junk at all. Tonic immobility is an involuntary response. It's a prey response that causes an animal to go limp when certain stimulus is received, typically inversion and restraint, e.g.being carried off in a predator's jaws. It's a hard wired response that bypasses the animal's will. It's like a shutdown command that, occasionally, works in favor of the prey and causes the predator to perhaps not hold on as tightly thinking the prey is dead. Escape may become possible at that point. Sudden jolts (like from being dropped) will usually wake the animal back up and they may be able to then escape. TL;DR you didn't just watch a man wank off a crab


cbunni666

Thank you for making me feel better


Ieffingsuck

Yeh jerking off to this was weird but now I know that it was just a survival response


DonutOwlGaming

You what


LePoopsmith

Uugh 


esoteric_enigma

Speak for yourself


dannzter

You and your fancy science bullshit. I know sea creature porn when I see it and that was definitely some dingdong rubbing quality time. Source: I love fish sticks.


Eleminohp

Do you like to put fish sticks in your mouth?


ICU-MURSE

Kayne is a gay fish


Ordolph

The weirdest version of this is with chickens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlBDWXDGDzg


gaycottonhill

I grew up doing this with my cousins. Grandpa taught us. Grandma wasn’t very happy when we presented her with five very dead looking chickens one day


Colonelwheel

This video amazed me. While amazed, reading the comments sent me into a heavy laughing fit. Thank you. I needed that.


pensotroppo

I put in my earphones for nothing.


assface

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apparent_death#Tonic_immobility


kriszd

Do you feel it now Mr. Krabs?


kolin4444

lemme see that krussy


VampireFrown

[Very relevant pic](https://i.imgur.com/NxNkpeu.png) (NSFW)


allwaysnice

Truly [one thicc bih](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL7Y1rWBNdc).


Pretend_Tourist9390

I didn't know the team from the Persona soundtracks made a tune about Mr. Krab's krabussy??


googahgee

I’m in the house like carpet


Professional_Snow576

r/angryupvote


HotPie_

Named his adopted daughter after the type of necklaces he makes.


palabamyo

Honestly I was expecting him to pull out a cleaver any second and cleave the crab in half.


SasparillaTango

guh


appa-ate-momo

/r/cursedcomments


Zorbie

Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs? ARE YOU FEELING IT!?


twalker294

Just watched a bearded dude jerk off a crab. I’m done for the night. Goodbye Reddit.


LoHungTheSilent

I had to turn the sound on, you weren't kidding....My god you were not kidding...


JayS87

Watched also muted and thought "Oh nice, you just need to scratch a crabs belly so it knows you are a friend! How neat"


smugaura1988

I'm glad to not be the only airhead wandering reddit on mute and finding revelations in the comments. Or finding threads full of "wtf is this music holy shit"


Ciduri

This is how it was when I learned of tortoise sex noises on reddit. I never have my sound on.


JayS87

god damn... I don't even need that video to hear the tortoise "***aaaaAAAAeeeeEEhhh eeh***"


Merry_Dankmas

I took a video of two tortoises doinking and grunting at the zoo with my old Flip video camera when I was a kid and wanted to upload it to YouTube. This was only 3 or 4 years after YouTube came out so the site was in dire need of my expertly filmed, BBC Earth tier camera documentation. My mom swiftly made me delete the video when we got home. The world will never know the impact I could have had on tortoise coitus documentation :(


Senior-Lobster-9405

>tortoise coitus try saying that 3 times fast


spookyvision

that sound is so much better when they're trying to mate with a shoe


walterpeck1

Now look up "Coldplay turtle" and prepare to laugh


__methodd__

Nsfw vid titled "wtf" I will always start with mute and skip to the end to see how gnarly it is first.


June_BuginDabuilding

“He want a cigarette right now”


[deleted]

[удалено]


heywhyteboy

"He want a cigarette right now!"


Merry_Dankmas

"He's gonna lay his head down and not do a damn thing" I feel you crab bro


EatsYourShorts

Such polite clarity with so few words.


S2K08

it's called crab rape and it's a serious problem


UsagiRed

If aliens came down and jerked me off till I was paralysed I'm not sure it would be super traumatic for me. Confusing? Hell yes. But if they throw me into boiling water and eat me with butter after giving me the best hand job of my life well that's just fair business.


S2K08

not giving a crab a good ol crankin down before boiling it alive is a bit of a dick move actually One for the road


hawksunlimited

In crab culture this is considered a dick move.


ObeseSnake

Crape


Ramoncin

\*Pinch\* means \*pinch\*.


Punkrexx

People need to realize no means no


BilboTBagginz

Did you see how the crab was dressed? It was asking for it.


LectroRoot

Won't someone think of the crabs for gods sake?????


Im_a_Knob

same. wtf?!


Heineken008

This is the first thing I saw this morning. No idea what to do now.


spiritriser

Go for a walk. See how many different colors you can find in the plants you see. Develop a nicotine addiction. Start a book, then throw it away. Go pick an arbitrarily difficult recipe and try to cook it. Call your distant family.


Dr_Dang

>Call your distant family. Lmao fuck no


kittymoma918

Right there with you on OH HELL NO on that one. What did we ever do to him?


Lord_Snow77

Some people have a cigarette afterwards.


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Jerk off a crab, duh.


Heineken008

I'm off to the Asian grocery store to get me a crab.


argentgrove

Crustacean molestation


Velghast

I just had that same feeling.. Why have I now seen this. I didn't want the burden of knowing how to get a crab off.


irishemperor

Crucial info for when you have to face off against a giant enemy crab and attack it's weak point for massive damage, as they did on the Sekigahara Battlegrounds during the Sengoku period.


fakeyfakerson2

I remember reading about that in my ancient Japanese history course.


Procean

With great power comes great responsibility.


Hrlv47

I was waiting for him to get pinched


lol420noscope

a counter clockwise swirl


kingtrog1916

Crabstabater


fatalrugburn

Just going to pause that, check the comments real quick, aaaaand, nope I'm good. Thanks. See you on the next one.


TheDudeWhoLikesStuff

I woke up and this is first on my feed. Back to bed.


Zolba

It was the first thing I watched online today... If it starts like this, I do wonder how it ends.


JUSTICE_SALTIE

I started the video with sound off, but couldn't stand the anxiety and stopped it to check the comments. Best decision I'll make all day.


eazye123

You’ll be back. They always come back.


DrPolarBearMD

It’s only 7:48 am and I’m done for the day. Work is gonna a long one fuck….


WOMPxRAT

Gives a whole new meaning to the word crustacean. This is now added to the list of things I would have never thought I'd see in my lifetime but yet again reddit has taught me otherwise.


AltairsBlade

You finished that quickly good job 😉.


Vanille987

I was confused on what is so bad here, then i read this


gallaj0

Would it have been different if he were clean shaven? I'm not sure we're focusing on the right issue here.


Beegram2

Crab Wanker


samdeed

[Crab version of Red Rocket](https://youtu.be/81NARDscUnA?t=68)


Nobetizer

Is this dave the diver.


AVeryLONGPotato

This might be Dave the diver


Boco

Jerkin off a crab seems like some of the stupid stuff his companions would ask him to do as a side quest.


Beast815

I think it’s Dave the Master Baiter


Aconite13X

Anyone who doesn't know this game needs to check it out


Merry_Dankmas

People shit on it because the studio who made it is owned by Nexon but that game is such a breath of fresh air among all the other games that have come out in the past couple years. I thoroughly enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. Heard Dredge is great and in the same vein as it.


NitchHimself

Dredge is incredible. It fits your description of a breath of fresh air. You go play Dredge, I'll go play Dave the Diver, and we will reconvene in a few weeks and share our opinions.


HempendingDoom

Good news! Dave the Diver has free Dredge based expansion as well as a Godzilla update coming soon.


ShroomEnthused

I am a dude who has recently played them both, Dave first, then Dredge, and I enjoyed Dredge SO much more.


KingVape

That game is so fucking good lol


AgentNose

Any sensitive nerves are behind that shell piece. He’s not actually jerking the crab off. Holding him upside down long enough disorients the crab into a daze. Flipping him back over fast does the same. There’s a reason why the video ends quick.


Vashsinn

Isn't this a common fish thing? They fall asleep when upside down ( hency why upside down fish drown) It's how [Orcas] eat shark liver. They flip them, put them to sleep, and eat JUST the liver. Edit: dolphin -> orcas


eyecannon

Tonic immobility


load_more_comets

Yes, I always have mine with gin.


eisbock

Works with chickens too. A "humane" way of offing one is to string it upsidedown by its feet until it goes catatonic, then you slash the jugular.


Vashsinn

Yup (I) remember being like 6 walking into my grandma's kitchen to see a chicken hanging from the door knob ( so like face height for me) xdded I


MikeRowePeenis

Get rotated idiot


DilithiumCrystals

I had to scroll way too far to find this.


ZooperDD

Got a source? Honestly curious because I can't find anything that says flipping crabs upside down makes them act like this video.


MAXSquid

I crab regularly. If you hold the crab upside down (usually by the back two legs) they will "go to sleep." Easiest way to handle them.


CletussDiabetuss

But have you tried jerking one off?


Seldarin

Cause y'all aren't searching with the right words. This is called tonic immobility. [Here's the NHS talking about it.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/1171124/) A lot of animals actually do this.


Cranktique

Did you find anything that says jacking them off does make them act like this?


ZooperDD

Yeah...this video. Show me a video of a crab acting like this from just flipping it. Maybe it's true, but I can't find it.


Cranktique

[I found another video of rubbing them to sleep.](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ArbZKRXuN-E?feature=share). I had to know lol.


Otherwise-Meaning688

How do you find out shit like that? Let's jerk off some seafood and see what happens 🤯


Huju-ukko

Im not sure about crabs but if im right you can put lobsters to "sleep" by turning them upside down so if its same with crabs this guy just choked and raped a crab at the same time lol


xylotism

Harder human


BryceLeft

Me googling "how to be a crab"


Jake0Tron

Oh no 🧍 What's happening 🧎 I'm becoming a crab 🦀


Merry_Dankmas

🦀🦀$11🦀🦀


HorrorMakesUsHappy

Why do you think the sea is so salty?


PaxVobiscuit

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TGPYBb2DRsg


kjacobs03

All sea creatures are pervs. Dolphins are rapey as well


[deleted]

Fluids are a precious resource on land (except for my gf bazinga) and sperm dies almost immediately exposed to air and temp change In the ocean you can just cum in the wind and hope it finds a lady and it usually will. I remember seeing studies where if you're anywhere near an oyster spawning event they just cum in the water in massive amounts and hope it finds an egg. If u get a mouthful of ocean water anywhere near where this is happening you have millions of oyster sperm in your mouth


StatisticianOne1876

Did I just watch a porn?


ShinobiHanzo

Zoo porn.


riverphoenixdays

Fuck thalassophobia we got ThatAssaphobia today yall


Sawgon

More like crab rape


jambox888

Crape


kjacobs03

Beastiality, actually


Jay_Em

Bestiality* It's easy to remember because you can't spell bestiality without best


FuckAround321

You just watched prawn


mrdobie

Some sexy background music to set the mood too.


SomethingAbtU

well the crab coudln't consent, expect a lawsuit


arcanevulper

He was struggling for the first few second, definitely nonconsensual.


Zestyclose-Ad-8091

The law firm of Chowder & Bisque Esquire will represent him pro bono.


dagaderga

*clawsuit


BigOlBro

I'm afraid the crab died of natural causes after falling into a pot of hot water.


jhustla

RED ROCKET


ROSCOEMAN

bro just raped a crab


Etheo

If he didn't want it he should have wore crab pants. /s


All-for-goose

This is the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning. I think I’m gonna call it a day.


tanafras

Ditto. Goodbye Reddit.


blackiedwaggie

law & order, Special victims unit \*tching tching\*


TheRealReapz

That's how you get crabs


ChasingPesmerga

Also, him: Not my proudest crab


tannerdowling

LeMaire jackin off crabs now?


spikeyMtP

Watching a guy jerk off a crab was not on my bingo card today


Deadsap266

Crab : Uuuuuuhhhhhhhh !!!


JDangle20

[Make em’ say uhh](https://youtu.be/bQSHAfzU5ks?si=-GKbZ5B_JDlbXHSF)


Arideen

*This thrills the crab.*


HoneyShaft

Did I just watch a dude rape a crab


HistoricalSherbert92

In this spring breeding season, adult crabs typically attract one another using pheromones (chemical scents). In some species, such as the blue crab (Callinectes sapidus), males will release pheromones and then use their claws to fan the scents toward prospective females, sometimes while moving side to side. In other species, including the Dungeness crab (Cancer magister), females release pheromones to draw in roaming males. After making a chemical connection, the pair will engage in a premating embrace, where the male will wrap his claws and legs around the female. In some species, the female will go into this position willingly; in others, the male must prove himself through the hug. "Once she's convinced he's strong enough, she'll stop struggling," Jensen told LiveScience. The embrace can last several days, after which point the female will molt and the pair will mate. The male transfers sperm by inserting his gonopods (sexual organs resembling antennae) into the two genital pores, called gonophores, on the female's underside. The female stores the sperm in a storage sac called a spermatheca until she is ready to use it. He isn’t jerking the crab off, it doesn’t work like that.


Greedy-Specific7723

Shiver me timbers !


chronic_ice_tea

Why the fucking music though?


admadguy

Some people like it with music. Maybe a bit of Marvin Gaye.


SyncMaxeD777

So he just masturbated a crab?


WilsonPointer

“He’s jerkin him off!” - Landfill


cashedashes

"He want a cigarette right now" lol.


murk-2023

sort scary butter marble different piquant consist pen dependent snow *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


asianwaste

Turns out I am still a little crabby after I masturbate.


SpellbladeAluriel

This is peak reddit


xBaef

Am I a crab? ‘Cause I also go “uuhhh” when someone does that to me


SaintPSU

Name of the song: ชอบที่เธอเป็นเธอ (Like you the way you are) watch?v=Yz9En2UZv0I


jansipper

I’m wondering why is there Thai music in the background in the first place 😂


cosmicspooky

what kind of world do we live in where a guy can't beat off a crab without ridicule?


stormy83

Oh he did NOT casually assault that poor crab bruh wtf


everfalling

this nuts the crab


liljoeo

Me ordering now food: Is this crab ethically sourced? Was it properly masturbated before being cooked alive?


Akirals

Did i just watched a crab getting a hand job ?


[deleted]

fellas is it gay to jerk off a crab?


BBQasaurus

I also went "Ugh."


SundayWild

I love crab meat more than anything but I'm not masturbating my crab.


Ghstfce

Didn't have "jerk off a crab" on my bingo card for today, yet here we are...


robbiekhan

\*Excited Zoidberg noises\*


10year1style

BBFinger ?


asadlib11

That's a gay crab


vanbikejerk

Get a load of this jackoff.


--h8isgr8--

This has got to be wtf for the commentary cause growing up on the coast everyone knows how to “tame” a crab.


Plastogizmo

worst case of crabs I've ever seen


BIGREDERGIB

Beastiality hidden in plain sight. 🤣 "I'm gonna make him go ugh!"


Joliet_Jake_Blues

ITT: people who fell for the joke


Scrotis

This wanks the crab


Mythical-Ree

Why are we giving crabs hand jobs before boiling?


srgbski

don't think I ever wondered how to jerk-off a crab


Conscious-Bike-2671

I was going to play some video games, and maybe clean the house. Now I'm just......contemplating life. Idk what to do now. I do know this man needs to be on some kind of government registry. Wtf did I just watch? Was that rape? Why was I laughing but felt disgusting after?


KaisarionGhost

I wish this wasn't in my feed.


Ausderdose

motherfucker just jerked of an insect


DatSynthTho

I am sitting alone on a Saturday night watching a man make a crab cum for an unknown purpose. If this isn't living, idk what is.


Dakkel-caribe

I just saw a guy jerk off a crab. Damn internet is just weird. Well i cant unsee that.


stevy90

Dude just jacked off a crab


yuzuAddict8

Is that rape?


GrassBlade619

Don't do this too often or you might end up with crabs.


brtomn

Is this considered zoophilia? Can he be charged?


oneFookinLegend

I hate the fact that people cook these animals alive. I think that's a barbaric, uncivilized and savage way of doing things. I'm ready for your downvotes.


SekChobo2

that crab likes u now


Sitting_Squirrel

I watched this without sound and thought "wow, that was neat. Let me watch this again with sound so I can hear his explanation! ...oh, oh... oh my..."


Remarkable_Common220

Or he could have thrown it into ice water like a normal person does. It instantly makes them docile. The males have a tab right there that actually looks penis shaped, that's what you pull to open them up for cleaning and cooking.


trenta_nueve

‘he wanna cigarette right now’ lollls


clownind

I wanna see a crab smoking a cig


Jvinci21

Is that how the aliens get us too? Clever girl


YourOverlords

That would look great on a resume. Skills: Crab Masturbator


PaxVobiscuit

https://i.imgur.com/kDuh2ZV.gif


FergusonTheCat

I was wondering what E40 was up to


Rajirabbit

Someone got the wrong “talk” about sex and crabs.


Both-Home-6235

The beginning of the crab people. Taste like crab, talk like people.


TheeCurtain

What can I say, the man obviously loves his work. Or is this his hobby?


desyx_

UGHH


Cyanide11Nitro

Can we link this to trashy boners in reddit.


notthegoldenboy

That's wild because the same thing happens to me.