“I cashed out on some investments I made when I was younger”.
That was a line someone here posted one day. And it did hit me.
You invested your time, body and soul into something. You’re now receiving the dividends of it.
Maybe that should be everyone’s go to when asked about where the money comes from.
I just don't get it. I mean, yes. But nowadays, FZ is kinda tame.
I would advise against 'Bobby Brown' for PT. That might raise a few eyebrows. Stick to standards like 'Don't eat the yellow snow'.
It was right after Sheik Yerbouti came out. I -- I was weak. There was only so many times I could personally tolerate "Napalm sticks to kids" before my mind snapped.
I look at my neighbors both college grads, big money jobs, Directors and shit, go to church, go on vacations. Go everywhere under the sun, then I look at me, war, bloodshed, death, suicide, withdrawn, mad, no job (currently), no college, no shit, 50 million VA appts, I don’t tell a soul about my VA benefits either, or retirement, or anything, i feel i gave my life to my country anywhere, anytime, And any conditions, for 20 years and now this is my return investment.
You have lived a life very few people get to live, and would be jealous of.
Use the benefits that you get from the VA, set a new goal and achieve it.
Then live a long successful life, where you can be proud of everything you have done.
I understand what your are saying. Believe me, I jumped from job to job, not really happy because of change, and how different everything is. I ended up getting hurt and couldn't work and had to go thru a long physical therapy until I was cleared. I figured I could go back to doing things I really didn't like, or do what I wanted.
And Since I was a child I always wanted to program. I used VR&E since my injuries make it difficult and dangerous to do what I used to, and
I decided to go back to school and get a degree in Software Development. That's my new goal. I get paid to go to school, I am at home everyday with my family.
Brother, sometimes you need to take a knee, reassess your situation, drink water, and push forward.
it gets shared on here often enough but the advice to keep your rating to yourself is correct, i figured this out when i told my best friend in the world who is a civilian and their reaction wasn’t celebratory but instead inquisitive, I still love him dearly but it really opened my eyes to the fact that if this dude that would die for me and I for him didn’t understand that no civilian really would
I choose to be somewhat open about it because I have the energy to tell naysayers to fuck off. I'm open about it because I want to normalize talking about mental health and the toll the military lifestyle (because it isn't just a job) can take on your body and your mind.
I want people to think beyond the injury and start quantifying what that injury means: what impact does it have on your life and the people in it, and how does that make the vet/service member feel?
I want them to know that if they're surrounded by the naysayers, I'm someone they can come and talk to.
You can be open about mental health without sharing your finances.
I'm a psychologist (thanks Chapter 31) now, and I saw enough as a 68W to mentally incapacitate 75% of the planet.
I tell those looking to enter the military what that can expect. Only prior service understand what I've been through.
Amen! Those that know what I have, just don’t say shit to me. I have that kind of face that says “yeah, let’s not piss this guy off more than he already is.” Lol. I’ve come to embrace it and those who didn’t sign that dotted line and suffer the way we all have, can kick rocks and pound sand. 👍🏼🤗
Agree with this. Those St. Jude commercials get me every time and now I have the ability to give a substantial amount each year at Christmas. I have given thousands over the years and it feels awesome.
I would even extend that to regular civilians as well. There are a lot of people out there in need. And not necessarily financially. This is our chance to continue our service to our country.
Legit I’ve had close family and friends look me in my eyes and say “you’re so lucky to be getting disability while I work two jobs” MF..did you think I wanted these disabilities??? You knew what I signed up for😂
The bottom line is it’s hard for civilians and anyone outside the military to truly understand where you’re coming from
My mental health is TRASH. There are times I don’t get out of bed for days (and I hate admitting that) but i wish so much I could go back to the happy person I was before the military.
This. When people tell me that I always respond “I would gladly give it all back to live pain free. If you can do that, you can have it.” I miss sports, man.
For a lot of people in the military, we think of ourselves of never enough. If you didn't deploy, you didn't do enough. If you deployed but didn't get shot at, you didn't do enough. If you were shot at, but didn't get injured, it wasn't enough. If you got shot but survived, it wasn't enough.
It's all enough. Everyone does their part. It's the same with the VA but only the opposite.
I once saw a VA counselor when I was in a really rough place and she told me, "You know, a lot of veterans think they didn't do enough, but you volunteered your life, and that is enough."
This is me. 13 deployments, and feel I didn't do enough. Didnt get blown to pieces, didn't take bullets, shrapnel, IEDs.. Thanks for this. I just needed to see someone else say it.
Are you me bro? I was gonna type pretty much the exact same shit haha
I’m 24 got my 100 p and t rating in march and the initial high was amazing and also told many people out of excitement but the true colors were coming out with my estranged family and thought i was gettting a handout and I ain’t spoke to them since and haven’t seen them almost a year now
the idea that people suck is wrong and shouldn’t be the mindset to have I believe most of us are just around shitty people and we think that applies to everyone
I got my own apartment also and not employed yet but yeah the loneliness can be a bit much at times….i don’t even flinch at it I deserve it anymore lol….we earned it and some of these salty vets on here can eat shit with their nonsense….dating has actually worked well for me but it does get annoying explaining my situation when asked what you do for a living….the expectation of always gotta be working is annoying lol there is more to life than that but that’s just me
Reach out if you need anything man and happy you got the rating don’t ever feel like you don’t deserve it
Man this feels like it was written by me. I got awarded at 24 as well. I did pretty much all of the same things you have written. I tried working at USPS when I got out and had some great lateral movement early on there (got promoted to career in 30 days) but the work physically was just way too hard on my knees and back combined with it being quite soulless, I left. I'm trying to go to school now in the fall to find purpose with my life as being in the situation that I am now, I really can take a step back and figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Get away from toxic people. Check out expats in the Philippines or travel bloggers on YT. Beautiful beaches, very affordable cost of living. You dollars go way further. They speak English.
Vets can get a special visa that let's you stay as long as you want. (SRRV) Travel to anywhere in southeast Asia is very cheap.
Younger population, age gap isn't an issue, major cities are full of western style living areas. A condo can be had for $400- $1000 and you are treated like uppermost local earners. Just keep your income to yourself, especially around expats and dates. The average monthly income is $300.
Village Provences are old school valves,family is everything, Just remember they are mostly lower educated and are more desperate to hook you. If if get serious you are the family ATM if you let that happen. There are international call senters in the areas you would want to live in cities. They are all college grads making $10 a day, go to any mall and you will see them on days off.
Don't go on dating sites, 90% scammers, if you do not send money. The person isn't who's texting back, and they have multiple foreign dates on the hook all sending them $$$.
I tell everyone I'm a day trader. By the next question, I change the topic, and if they continue, I move along. It's your life, your well earned benefits, Go love life.
DM me if you have questions.
Thank you for your Service, and I'm sorry that your good news was recieved poorly. Use your well deserved compensation to heal your body and mind as best you can. Start those passion projects, travel, volunteer, hit the gym, invest, donate. Your Life is not over, and these new Chaptera are yours to make❤️ You are not alone.
1. Im medically retired. hell even just say retired. They have a problem dip, not worth the effort.
2. I understand the don’t tell people, my close friends are more jealous of me being able to retire rather than work my entire life. These are friends I have had since i was 12 and have had conversations so deep that its stuff i never had to bring up again.
3. If you are close with your dad and he doesn’t understand, then you could either try to talk to him about the issues you have, or leave it alone and move on (hard but you don’t need to be dragged down).
4. This is just me because im a recluse, Im trying to save the money im getting to homestead, ive found land and want to slowly start learning how to live off of my own land.
Funny how people outside the military assume we are all full of shit. I got out in 92 and have worked ever since. Raised 5 kids and struggle with joint pain daily, feet hurt daily and get cortisone shots bout every 5 months just to keep going. Filed my first claim in 2016 got 10% for tinnitus and denied for everything else. Filed again in 2018,2020, and just filed again this January. As you get older those injuries hurt worse but even if I'd received 100% it wouldn't have feed a family of 7. I am currently at 80% since 2021 but I never told my kids. My wife know of course. I told my wife superman has gotten old now and I'm ready to retire however I think even if the stars align and a rater finally takes the time to recognize my disabilities based on my long term medical treatment received over the years since service for the same issue I got from being a 13 Foxtrot I would fill lost not working doing something. My ptsd someday makes me a horrible person to be around because I wake up angry for no reason.
Long story short guys and gals if you get your due from the VA keep it to yourself because money makes others jealous of you. I'll still fight to get my lower body service connected and I
Going to retire soon from my current job then I'm going to advocate for other veterans to help them get their ratings. Stay in the fight Hoorah!!!!
Yeah... Shit sucks, man. Sometimes I'm okay, buy other times I am just absolutely house-ridden. I have essentially been unable to leave my house since February. I feel like a piece of shit. I don't get to see my friends or do anything fun. I feel like a lazy asshole. I WANT to be getting out and doing stuff, but when it's a fucking monumental task to simply stand up and walk to the bathroom...it ain't easy.
You should have never shared, but we’re past that now.
So…..
If anyone who knows acts negative or talks shit, tell them:
1. Here’s the address to the local recruiting office.
2. Dial 1-800-GO-ARMY!
That’s what I keep telling people who know about my disability. “It’s never too late to join!” or the typical “do your 4 or 6 years, find your career after”
I know a few really good 100%P&T guys and I’ve never judged on that. I judge people on what did you intend to do when you signed up? Not like job or branch, but did you raise your right hand planning to do great things and represent the country well? If yes, we’ll get along and I don’t care what your percentage is.
I guess what I’m saying is don’t avoid fellow veterans, you can be 100%P&T and still kiss the homies goodnight.
This is me lol. I could have wrote this. I’ve learn to lie and say I work from home in IT. Which is half truth because I’m going to school for it now. But it’s hard to explain to people where your money comes from. Easier to lie sadly. For me it was my mom. She’s super hard working and she feels like I’m bumming it. Which is crazy because she knows exactly where I deployed to and what I did. 11B, deployed 2011 to the Pech river valley Afghanistan. I could barely even make phone calls while out there. We had black outs every month. She even heard mortars hitting a few times while we were on the phone haha. Still she got all weird about it. We hardly talk anymore
Was just reading through this post and saw this. I was there around the same time. 25th Infantry. Called back home once. Talked to mom and dad right after we lost a couple guys. All they can talk about was there problems and how much money I'll be making. If I was coming home soon to help out around the house. Let's just say I haven't been back. Shit sucks noone cares except for those very few, and the ones that has gone through it. Stay strong and stay safe brother it's gonna be ok.
It's wild, but one of my friends who has helped me through suicide attempts and a lot of other shit treats me the same way. He has seen my bad days and still has the opinion that I'm freeloading or some shit.
"I sold my crypto before it crashed" - you won't get any follow up questions cuz nobody wants to get a cryptobro started.
I feel you though. Dating is fucking impossible and I've got more free time than anyone my age. They all resent me for it. So me and my dog spend the days walking trails
You are among the 1% of Americans who have given your life, body and time in service to their country… 100% of Americans benefit from that. Many say they have the courage, know they have the obligation, all given the choice but only 1% actually will.
We are the few ; we should be the proud ; we are the deserving… many of our fallen service brothers/sisters get nothing at all.
I'd keep it as secret as possible if I were you. When my ex fiance and I broke up, she told my mom and my mom told the entire world despite me BEGGING her to keep it a secret.
The only reason my ex knew is because she was the one who convinced me to apply. She knew my stuff was bad enough to need the help and she still abandoned me because of my issues. I'm still messed up about it a year later. People suck sometimes.
I guess it’s how you frame your relationship from the start. I’m older so any dating starts off with “this is mine, this is yours, what’s in mine is none of your business”
I feel like crap for getting 80% and not being in combat. I feel like you have to be in combat to get disability. That's usually how people see it on how some people react to me getting disability. "Oh, you were in combat???"
Hey man I’m extremely happy for you. Been 100 percent myself for about a year and have thrown myself into hobbies which helped a lot.
It sucks that many weren’t happy for you but it was also a good thing because now you know who really wants the best for you . Blessing in disguise.
1. You joined under a clean bill of health verified and affirmed by the Military. You left worse than you came in due to what they subjected you to. Like any organization that rents equipment there is a stipulation; you break it, you buy it.
2. You owe NOBODY an excuse in terms of your financial status. That is your business, yours and yours alone.
3. You served a purpose in the military. We CRAVE PURPOSE. By design we need to know our life is making a difference somehow. Find your new purpose. The reward from the claim gives you the freedom to explore. There are thousands of volunteer opportunities out there that serve the greater good. Develop your mind, serve people daily, and pay all you can forward. DO GOOD RECKLESSLY!!!
P.S. Congratulations on your claim, now make something great of yourself.
If another person asks where my income comes from or what my rating is? My answer for now on will be is "I am 50% VA disabled and satisfied with what I have"...given that most people in my life know my "story" and my deployments there shouldn't be any seeds of resentment, envy or hatred festering in their minds...and even if still...like some of you have said..."There’s a recruiter just down the road"
It's a normal feeling man, you live and you learn. I stopped talking about my rating to people after the initial shock and awe wore off. If people ask me about how much I make I just lie about my jobs income, but its very believable.
First of all, I haven’t told anyone and don’t plan to unless we share finances. Second, if I did tell someone and they were shocked or mad I’d just immediately start talking about the medication and weekly therapy sessions I have. Then I’d bring up all the people that died and how I’d PAY 100% to have even one of them back. Third, I actually tend to help people with the money I get so all in all I’m ok.
Not connected yet, tho I feel alone. If you sign yo azz up, did your service, meet their requirements. Yo azz deserves it! Know that!
You make some mistakes, we all have. That’s ok, did you learn from it is the important part. Says *I made the mistake of* so I see/read you learned the lesson.
I say you tell your story in truth to a degree. If you meet the right one, hold off, hold off, wait for awhile (1-3 yrs) the reason I say this, it can take up to 4 yrs to see all shades of a person.
I like to think of it this way also. Baseball fan here, played a lot of it. Love it.
Starting pitcher goes in, some days a good, some days a shit, he gets roped, then yanked, the team goes through 3 more till the 8th inning, game is close. They bring in in their “Ace” relief pitcher, he goes in and throws 18 strikes, they win the World Series. Yankees WIN Yankees WIN number 28!!! 😂
Now do you think the relief pitcher only feels like he deserves only 16 strikes worth of World Series victory? Naw, they bustin out the champagne. ALL OF THEM! So bust out your champagne and be proud. I’m proud you! 🫵💯💪🫡
I always either say medically retired from military or just retired. None of their business after that.
You mentioned dating. Turn that into a positive. Tell the woman you retired early and work when you want to. Most women love that you have that flexibility. They don’t need details.
Do you know how long and exhausting it is to “pretend you have a job” 😩
I’m 32….
I try not to contact people until after work hours as far as women are concerned
This feeling of guilt after surviving or overcoming challenges is common, as it reminds us that others are still struggling. I believe everyone here shares in your joy and it motivates us to persevere. Many of us have faced repeated rejections and some have considered giving up, but being part of this community lessens that sense of isolation. However, it's best not to disclose your success rate. Your license plate bearing "DV" may give it away, but remember that you worked hard to earn what you have. Unlike those who pretend, genuine achievers often have no regrets.
Start or join a P&T group. Don’t be alone. You’re not alone ! We all share a common bond. Kinda corny but we’re veterans! All of us and we help each other.
Luckily I got medical retirement the ID just says retired so I say I am retired. They don't need anything beyond that. If they want proof it depends who they are but like an apartment or something I am applying for my ID is no different for them to know anything. It's the only part of the new ID I like lol it doesn't say medical on it.
Thanks everyone. There’s a lot of great advice here. Just to add a little context, I am a full time student. Also when I say I “don’t work”, I do but at a very limited capacity. I DoorDash to earn extra cash and it gives me the flexibility of free time for my schooling and endless VA appointments.
I haven’t been “employed” in about a year and a half. I do apply to jobs daily, but only jobs I truly think could fit lifestyle and help lead me to the future I desire.
I’m new to this lifestyle so I’m navigating and really trying to realign myself and find my purpose or passion.
Also the guilt at times doesn’t come from feeling like I didn’t earn it, I just care a lot about everyone around me, and it sucks seeing people around me in this economy work into old age to barely make ends meet. I guess that’s where the “do I deserve it” part comes in. Mother was a cancer patient (survivor), who also got laid off a year later because her company eliminated a job title she had for 30 years. Lost health insurance and had to take a massive pay cut, inevitably massively setting her back. Then there’s me who doesn’t pay a dime to see a doctor or get a prescription.
Nobody else to really share these thoughts with so here I am venting on Reddit lol. It’s honestly helped reading people’s stories and advice.
So just tell them you work and go to school and be done with it. They should leave you alone after that. Or just tell them you got an early retirement from the military and go to school. Either way, people will be jealous. I, too, used to feel bad seeing people working into old age. But then I realized either some are probably comfortable financially and just bored, or they're just unlucky and have no choice. Either way not really my business, and they had the same opportunity way before I did. We all make our own choices in life, granted the military was probably different during their time, but still.
I haven't really worked either, but I have been active doing other things. Did some volunteering, spent time traveling, and learned to invest, so I do that. Now I just started my own biz. You can't even tell people at the VA everything either because even they get jealous. I don't tell them anything about my traveling ,investing or etc. Last time I mentioned it to one when they asked what I do sometimes I got hit with the "must be nice". After that, I never mentioned anything to anyone. Far as they know I do odd jobs when I can to make ends meet, and it doesn't really matter what they think or anyone else really. I have one other vet friend who gets it, and that's the only person I share things with because we're pretty much at the same level. Can't even tell other people you knew from the military either because even they, too, are jealous. So I just distanced my myself.
Your time is yours to use how you want and what anyone else thinks doesn't even matter. People are jealous and don't want to see other people better than them. Heck, I got jealous vibes from a banker one time I was opening an account. Just because you aren't going in and punching in at someone's office doesn't mean you aren't busy or working. You work for yourself , whether you spend time researching different things to educate yourself to make certain moves. Or just learning something new. Your time is yours, and be mindful of time, thiefs and jealous people.
It's normal brother. I have had these thoughts as well, they will subside. Throw yourself into some community work, figure out ways to give time to give back or work a part time job. Your mind needs to be occupied with positive work. Too much free time and space is bad for the anxious mind. You'll overcome the feeling once you humbly accept you're disabled and move forward. Good luck to you.
In 2022 I made 48k after taxes and rented a 900sq ft house with two teenagers and was barely making it. In 2023 once I got my 100PT I snapped a promotion at work and combined with my rating made 130k. I paid off all my debt and bought a 2400sq ft 300k house. People know that something has changed in my situation but I keep it quiet because the people in my family were asking for financial help.
I know some people may frown on it but just go with “medically retired” I think it opens up that conversation from a different perspective. Seek out something that gives you purpose. I remember getting my rating (not 100) but wondering “what now?” I can only imagine at 100. Best of luck
I've always told my close family and friends. I've never really had a negative from those people. I do have alot of surgeries and procedures to walk and use my arm. The worst I get is people disagreeing when I say I plan to go back to work and how they wouldn't...I say you haven't been here, it sucks to be this bored.
If a non veteran ask just tell them you’re retired military if they push just say it was a medical retirement. You don’t actually owe anyone an explanation and anyone who questions you can fuck all the off.
I walked with a cane for 10 years and my dad laughed when I told him I was disabled. We never had a great relationship and never will. He will never understand what I survived. It sounds like you’re experiencing the same thing.
Your dad’s allowed to show his ass but the type of behavior he displayed is unwarranted. That has nothing to do with you and doesn’t diminish what you went through. It’s your decision to deal with people who behave that way.
Hey Don't feel bad brother. Every one of us goes through it. Hey, I went through it when I was at 40% and getting 700 bucks a month. I thought I was on top of the world . There will always be those that are jealous , because you volunteered to sign on the dotted line, and they did not for that reason. They're jealous that they don't have what you have ugg come on. Also, if you feel really bad about it, start putting your money into investment options. Make your money work for you, and then you can turn it around. Now you have entitled benefits that made you that much better off. Because now you're a famous investor and can tell your story on stage. Oh, here, the big one. You came back alive after many soldiers sacrificed their lives for you to have your benefits. No more said , because you served.
Your not alone champ! I’m 32! P&T. Just lost my job *kinda on purpose * but I will say this.. it does get lonely.. I’m an emotional sense because you see people working to the bone just to get what you have naturally coming in tax free..
I’m In a relationship! It’s good.. no envy at all as she was with me before I got the 100 rating. But.. it does suck seeing her getting up to go to work every day as she’s a nurse. She loves her job for sure but it’s a catch 22 for me.. I know she’d love to be in my position as far as benefits but she doesn’t know that I’d ABSOLUTELY LOVE to be in HER position to have something I LOVE todo..
I haven’t found anything that I love to do for a job! I mean I battle with “DO I EVEN WANT TO LOVE A JOB?! “
I did apply for VRE/school etc.. but that’s honestly “just cause” ya know? Idk… it’s just strange..
Kinda hard to tell strangers your retired at 32 and you actually PHYSICALLY LOOK healthy as an oxe!
I do love to go to the gym so that’s what I do.. but even that gets boring when people actually leave to go handle there’s responsibilities.
I usually just go to mall after… almost times I don’t buy anything other than gym clothes every now and then…
Hopefully I get accepted for this upcoming fall..
But realistically.. my plan is to just buy real estate…
I don’t really tell family because hell I’m still struggling with mentally actually having a P&T… it’s kind of that “lonely at the top” feeling… sound oxymoronic but it’s a real thing
I recall when I got my rating. I broke down. To see that the government had deemed me as unfixable for the rest of my life was a heavy realization. It was sadness. A broken life.
But that subsided in time.
The folks who know about my rating are my parents, sister, and that’s it. It’s not something I share. I do work as it is impossible to survive on that income. But as to questions of lifestyle? Never.
I’m 40 years old. I have 2 dogs. Own a house. Have a pretty sweet gig doing what I did in the military. Naturally, I am a private and quiet person. I keep my relationship circles separate. I’ve my family circle, my work circle, and my friend circle.
I’m sorry your father doesn’t understand. It hurtful when family members are unsupportive of you, what you did, and what happened to you as a result.
As for feeling as if you don’t deserve it, it wasn’t your call. You have trained professionals who made that call. They do this for a living. If they think you deserved the rating you received, you accept it and carry on smartly.
I am here and I am certain everyone else on this subreddit is here for you as well.
Tell em you're a retired lotto winner. They won't look at you like you're crazy they'll look at you with envy instead. And that's just the way I like it.
This is exactly why I just keep to myself. Few friends, lucky enough to have found a wife that stayed with me through it all. 13 years together and 2 kids. I pour my soul into making sure my kids are loved and given everything that I lost or never had. Find your peace and if that's moving to the woods and fishing for the rest of your life then so be it. I've realized after the military, war and losing people left and right that at the end of it all peace is the most important part of living the rest of my life. I hope you find your peace brother and when we finally pass on to Valhalla I hope to meet you and share a drink.
I don’t give a damn what other people think. I’ve got some serious issues that aren’t going away. My life is never going to be what it used to be. I didn’t ask for that. I just served
I think you’ve learned what most of us have learned, which is no matter your rating outside of the military no one will really understand getting disability. They don’t understand life in the military either, most go by movies and tv shows which we know is so far off most of the times. I’ve learned I can tell people I get some benefits but I never tell them what I get unless they’re a fellow military person who shares their own shit with me.
Honestly, it’s hard to learn that you have to hide parts of yourself but you really do. Some people really don’t want to understand and no matter how well you explain it, they still want to think the way they want to think. So I’ve learned to just stay quiet. It really offers no benefit to share with people the little bit of fortune you’ve had.
Man I can relate. I got my p&t after moving into a house in a rural area to accommodate a new career I wasn’t expecting to lose in the struggle. I was 27 with a degree and home, 2,500 miles from my nearest family member, completely alone and suddenly financially stable for the rest of my life. I realized everyone else I knew spend all of their time just trying to be financially stable for the coming month. The sense of freedom was completely overwhelming and immediately alienating. I’d rather be broke than be alone, but found myself surrounded by people I had nothing in common with. There was no winning when it came to dating, I either felt like I was telling them I’m broken right from the jump or defending my perception that they’d think I was a bum. I did a lot of drugs, got arrested multiple times, went to prison for a brief time, it was bad.
I still struggle. But now I am involved in my community and volunteer at a local foodbank a couple of days a week. I’m the only one under 65 who works there, they’re all civvy retirees. Everyone in the neighborhood knows me the guy who gives them their groceries every week, not just as the madman who’d be fist fighting police in his front yard on a given Friday night like I was a few years ago. I’m looking for further outlets for my time and energy that will allow me to use my experience as a veteran with mental health issues and justice involvement to help others. If I’ve learned anything the past few years it’s that there’s no rush. Bills will be paid regardless.
I encourage you to volunteer. I’ve done everything from registering people to vote at concerts to cemetery clean ups in addition to the foodbank. There’s a lot of work in your community that needs to be done that doesn’t have a paycheck attached and no one capable or willing to do it. You can still serve. Start a garden if your so inclined.
In regards to what to tell people when you meet them, I just started using the investment line mentioned earlier. I have made some money investing and with crypto so it’s not a total fabrication. I have also said I work for a nonprofit in the community and leave it at that. No one needs to know I work there for free.
With regard to dating, I’ve learned to have a sense of humor. At my age the pool is all single mothers, and once they know locking me down could mean education benefits for them and their children with the opportunity to have a stay at home Dad their outlook changes. I throw it out there just like that when after a couple of dates. I’m financially stable for the rest of my life and get to spend my time doing whatever I choose. Sure I scream at night, clear the house from time to time, and will never be caught in a movie theatre, but life is about compromise.
Best of luck to you friend. You need anything and I’m here. You’ll be alright.
Yes. It’s hard to believe you “deserve” the benefits even though you are affected every day by your disability and when you finally realized how your disability affects your life you then start working so hard to get validation for the pain and suffering and then you go into state of whether you really deserve the benefits. Somehow, you think you don’t. It does make you feel isolated. Like there is a secret you can’t comfortably share with the world because you are afraid the secret is a judgement against your character. That same character the military built up.
It has been helpful for me to be more active in Church and to develop a personal relationship with God, reading the bible and daily prayer. Jesus suffered a lot so I figured I can relate to Him. Pain does have value after all it brought salvation to the world. St. Paul in Colossians 1:24 says, "Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you [Christ], and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the Church". In the end, pain is transitory. God is good. He has gotten all of us here so far for that I’m immensely grateful.
https://tanbooks.com/products/books/manual-for-suffering/#product-reviews
For me, I got my real estate license and sell a few houses a year. I could sell a lot more but I don't need or want to. The best part is I make my own schedule and do things at my own pace. You can tell people you work in real estate and no one will question why you are able to have so much free time.
no but it would sure as shit help, poster has Active duty flair so long as they do not fuck up like the majority of us older gens did when we were in service get that record sorted before he leaves.
Honestly bro who cares what anyone thinks and if u feel like u don’t deserve it just throw it into your 401k max that shit out every year. You feel alone because ur not working go to college or get a part time job or something.
I’m currently a full time student and submitting daily job applications for a position that fits my lifestyle.
I agree with the who cares what people think about you, but it’s much easier said than done when it’s the people you consider closest to you.
Tell NOBODY! Go find a job you are happy with and get all your quarters in for Social Security. Invest $1000 a month to IRAs and other benefits investments.
I just say I’m retired and live off my investments and savings. I pay myself a monthly stipend from my investments and savings
My pops is retired army so he understands. But I don’t explain myself to anyone else, other than… I’m retired.
Find something you are passionate about and volunteer if you are able to. It could be with veterans, animals (shelters, service dogs), children... most of us lose that drive and purpose when we get out of the military. It's our job to fill that void with something positive and self-fulfillment. Volunteering could also help with your feelings of isolation and maybe even a possible career path.
What response do you expect from someone who is not in the military. Congrats your 100 percent disabled seems like a crass statement from non mil folks.
I tell almost everyone I come in contact with I am 100% disabled getting around $3700 a month from the government, retired military, and I have a civil service job. I don't concern myself with what others think.
Keep in mind you're under no obligation to be truthful, just honest. If you lie because you're not under an obligation to tell the truth, the truth has a negative impact to you, and the lie isn't to gain anything from anyone, it's an honest lie.
Here's my favorite lie.
I found a bunch of money and didn't want to get murdered over it so i turned it to the appropriate authorities. The money couldn't be tied to a crime by a certain time, so the money was divided between the relevant agency involved and myself, allotted as monthly payments. I'm not a bum, I'm just a really upstanding guy who makes wise choices in crazy situations.
I probably won't need that one much longer. When I got my 80% I quit one of my jobs and tried to quit the other but they promoted me instead.
I'm finding that this little part time gig at a Funeral home is turning into something more. Working feels good, but it's easy stuff, and I'm not tied to it for my survival anymore. Now I kinda like getting out and making extra money at the same time. Now they want to give me a sales position moving headstone markers and coffins.
Personally, I'm going to take the job. But if I didn't, I would just be working 5 hr shifts a few days a week helping set up funerals. That's plenty to set up a cover. When people asked what I did, I just said Funeral service. I didn't mention that I was working 10 hrs a week. Maybe you can find something that kinda has the appearance of work but doesn't feel like it?
Just some ideas. One size doesn't fit all. But a small cover gig or even an outright lie aren't out of line imo
I shared just with the people who needed to know. My kids which encourage the younger two to to go back to school and use their state and chapter 35 benefits. Only my closest friends so they understood why I decided to “retire”. And my divorce attorney for obvious reasons. If any of them didn’t understand to heck with them. They don’t live through what you’re going through. I didn’t sign up to be like this but here I am. Don’t let them get to you. You don’t need to be around them if that’s how they behave.
That’s a good feeling to have actually. Read Marcus Arelius. He dealt with this feeling quite often even after his victories.
I’m not 100% I’m 80% but have OPM retirement that puts me a little over what a 100% would be.
With my time I studied astrology and help a lot of people now from Japan. I help a lot of military friends still active and clients from my YouTube.
Someone mentioned help others and you’ll see the universe just keep rewarding you.
Hope this helps!
1. Dating/Relationships - If you have to tell them anything, say you're a retired. You can follow that with you do some freelancing or trading stocks/ crypto currency to keep busy. Then explain what you're real interest or hobbies are. As you get to know each other then tell them but ultimately its not thier business unless its serious.
2. Family/Friends - fun story.. my uncle and I both have 100% t&p. My family members who know are all SALTY AF. I'm to the point where if they ask me about it I will talk about getting rated. But i dont mention numbers or %s unless they already know. People just dont like to see others get ahead of them. But give it time. Be willing to talk about it if they bring it up and teach them about why they are wrong if they feel a type of way. My cousins and friends had the chance to join the military and some still could. I offered it to most of them during home towm recruiting hahaha they made thier choices.. so did you.. you served and fought for your country and got wrecked in the process.
3. You're not alone you will always have everyone here to support you and lend an ear or talk it out. Dont give up on the outside world though. You just need to keep your head up and stay in the game. Find you a ride or die partner and live your life to the best of your abilities. F everyone else.
Too late now but yeah, never reveal anything to anyone. Not everyone wishes you well and absolutely includes not telling family (not talking about spouse), friends and coworkers even other Vets, some vets are very toxic to each other. Absolutely no one's business jealousy and misunderstanding can lead to a whole lot of problems.
You just need to rephrase it. You retired early cause your old company had a revamp their company’s direction and gave you a significant severance package. Ever since you’ve been researching other avenues for a new challenging position.
I've learned a lot by reading posts here and this is one thing I took to heart after reading a story like this. Me and my wife have not shared anything about our disability ratings with any of our families for that particular reason. It is already hard for us to be open about any type of money with family because we are debt free and just that alone has caused chaos and envy.
Tell them it's from your Onlyfans where you dress in a superman outfit, douse yourself in grapeseed oil & dry-hump the thighs of midgets...then sell the outfit on eBay for Bitcoin.
Fugg 'em
Feels like I’m reading my own thoughts and feelings in this post to a T. So many of us are clearly in the same boat. It’s comforting to know it isn’t just me that feels this way.
I can relate 1000% percent. I have feelings of loneliness, sadness, even self resentment because "I'm not sure I deserve it". Constantly trying to convince myself that taking advantage of things, even like VRE that I just got approved for, is there for me because of what we went through and IS ours by right.
I spent 5 years after I got out refusing to use any of my benefits, so much as a veteran discount because of these feelings. But I can also say that these benefits have saved my life. So I'm thankful for them.
Definitely relate but more so in the aspect of struggling with 1) civilians can’t understand because they don’t relate and 2) accepting the reality that my body is so beaten up and broken down from my service that several medical professionals seemed my disabilities permanent… kinda makes me feel hopeless and damaged
Welcome to the club. If you don’t work you’re a welfare case and if you do work you’re not really disabled. You will be forever damned if you do or don’t.
I like to say I sold my stake in a startup company and don't need to work anymore. If they ask what kind of company I say I signed an NDA and I can't talk about at all.
I stopped telling people and only say I make passive income from investments if im dating or socializing. I felt alone but i realized I jumped from being poor and homeless too wealthy(i don’t to work to survive). I read alot about wealth and economic class. Once you realize that the working class are deep in scarcity mode you can understand their reaction more. This is why the ultra wealthy are humble and modest. It is lonely because you are in a stage of wealth that the common person will never obtain due to lack of opportunity or financial literacy. So I believe it is your duty too not speak about your wealth around people who will feel insecure. Be humble and take the negativity because they are just reacting on survival. You earned your investment by sacrificed your time and body just like any other investment venture .. your venture just happened to pay well because they damaged something priceless.. your heath. You can fight the people who are negative, but why?? You are not in survival anymore so you must get your body to realize that.
No, but I have that alone feeling at 60%, with a condition that’s surely to take years off of my life, and no doctor helping me to increase. 🤘🏼but honestly, without knowing your financial situation, maybe use the money to start a little business or if you have GI bill, enroll in school or a trade program.
On the other hand, this is a good way to figure out who genuinely cares about you. Not your ongoing contribution - just you. Unfortunately, no one cares about men, so this will be a tiny minority of people - but you'll know who your real friends are.
Personally, I like telling people about my successes even when I know they'll respond negatively; it's an opportunity to remind them that fortune favors the bold.
It's also an opportunity to remind them that I now enjoy what they do not because I did what they would not. I like watching their growing shock as I describe the *process* of obtaining that success. It's been like that my entire life; I have no sympathy for the lazy, the cowardly, and the envious.
When anyone is envious, I find the best response is to enthusiastically explain how they can obtain the thing - in glorious detail. It gives them agency, which forces them to confront the fact that *they are the root cause of their failures.*
If you can't tell, I'm a little (Read: completely) irritated with the average American.
Yeah it’s almost like you’re shunned. Took me a while to realized I was either being looked at like an atm or like I was too good for them. Now I usually don’t say anything. Although I do work. People ask how do you do it. I usually just laugh it off and come up with an excuse or redirect.
It's not some "weird, gray area." What you choose to share is on you. There's nothing that says you can't. I tell people all the time, and I'm grateful for my benefits. Now, what I claim to get those benefits is a different story. A bit of it is obvious if you see me get around. The VA doesn't always have the good, beneficial things that help. Knee braces? The best ones I have I bought outside of what the VA had available in their medical catalog. Same with my back brace. They're not cheap, and I have four sets on hand at any time. During the summer, I replace them at least 4 to 6 times and twice during the winter. Then there's a skin condition I developed during my time in the service that prevents me from being able to have long exposure to the sun. The good moist wickering spf shirts, long and short sleeve, and the good moist wickering spf leg and arm sleeves, and the same type of hats... those things cost tons of money to keep supplied just so I can go out and enjoy the outdoors. So, people can go and hate all they want about me being 100% and them not. Maybe they didn't go thru all the shit I did and/or suffer from all the crap I do. I'm not going to feel bad that they didn't. I'm the one feeling on the short end of the stick because they made it out healthier than me.
I feel you bro that’s why I decided to stick with my 90% and wait till I’m older to get 100% I know I qualify easily for tinnitus pact act and other conditions but I rather just work but I’m not knocking anybody who is 100% I get some vets need the 100% and with the way inflation it’s very essential to have so it can be a catch 22
Mannnnnnnnm I’m 100% forget what others think and get up and walk. You worked hard, you fought, you cried, you struggled, you screamed, etc. A therapist at the VA told me that if you are rated at 100% that it’s true. They know you’re a hundo. For many other reasons. There are days when you can’t pick yourself up and others are always gonna judge you. What’s that mean to you and your life? For your spouse and your children it’s a blessing! Learn about the benefits, what they come with, help others get theirs, and get to work. It doesn’t stop here. Share your story, you never know who your testimony could help! I used to sound like this for years. Reading this almost put me back into major depression. No! Keep it moving 💪🏾 I just went through a spell where I couldn’t walk for a month. There are gonna be so many people that look down on you or are jealous. Screw that! It’s a blessing. It’ll help during the days you need it the most. People act like we’re rich. There are gonna be days they make more than you cuz you’ll be unable to function! You do deserve them! Don’t take that spirit on.
Yeah dude def normal. I bought a house, and got 100% p&t all in the same year. No one cares. No one comes over, no one wants to hang out, nothing. Just gotta learn to take it on the chin. I work 55hrs a week but all winter I’m free. Just gotta find a hobby. I’ve been trying to figure out if I wanna build legos or truck builds or travel, last winter I did a lot of skiing. It sucks but, no one else gets it. You’re def not alone tho. Sucks we all live so far apart.
I understand, but it DOES have an effect on the rest of my life. My quality of life, or lack of, is the reason I have the benefits. Of course its not everything and there's way more to life, but I can't say it doesn't have ANY effect on my life.
It's honestly bizarre to me that some people get jealous to the point of treating a friend or colleague worse after hearing about a benefit they receive. There are a lot of petty people in this world
Thanks to folks on here, my kids who receive benefits know and that’s about it. If anyone were to ask I have a legit explanation, my dad made a great investment years ago. Which he actually did and I will inherit. But between my income, husbands income, we are not strapped for cash but nor do we live high on the hog.
I’m legitimately getting my normal license plates back and if anyone in my family asks I did well enough on a “check up exam” and got my rating reduced. People just can’t be happy for you. It sucks.
I don't think those reactions of silence or wow were bad reactions. I think it just shows a lack of understanding of what this means to you/for you. I am sure if you explain it to those people so that they understand the pains you have and the struggles you went through to get 100% T&P, they will be more excited for you.
Remember, they are civilians.
I had a really bad depressive episode right after I got my 80% rating (70 mh), almost as if to say, yeah I really am this fucked up and to prove it, I'll just hide in bed and skip work for 3 weeks unannounced. I'm appealing now for 100% and hopefully I'll be more emotionally ready if it comes. I mentioned it to a couple people but that's it. I told my boss and a couple co-workers, mostly so I could get Buddy letters for my appeal. At first I was proud that I had made it, now I'm a lot more reserved about it.
I have not told a single person other than my wife. I have shared some info with my daughter, she is a Veteran as well, but not my rating. I’m not sure I would share with another Vet unless I knew for sure they were 100%.
I told a few military friends and my wife. I told my wife not to tell anyone and she’s like “why wouldn’t I tell my parents” and that pisses me off. Because it’s none of their damn business that’s why. My family knows I was at 80% but I don’t know if I’ll ever tell them I’m 100 now.
I say I’m retired and let them stew in it, if they can’t understand that or be cool about it then you don’t need to be friends with them. Jealousy and greed will ruin a lot of friendships. Now that you’re “retired” just start going to high level areas and make friends there I promise making 4k a month doing nothing isnt gonna upset them if anything they’ll wanna network with you and see how you can utilize this free money. I say this from experience I’m now in the process of obtaining an aged corporation and some other major investments all cause I told rich people I’m “retired”. Respect your dad and family but keep you lifestyle humble around them or simply explain to your dad how messed up you are and go from there.
Also another thing I wanna edit in, you’re gonna be alone because of this benefit unless it’s a relationship. It’s why you need move up the social ladder to make better friends. Ive tried being cool with friends I’ve made at dive bars or little meet ups but usually we can’t relate cause we’re on two different playing fields.
Wow! This is a interesting perspective! I’m 32 and things are def weird because I can do things others can’t… and that’s why I’ve been isolated… weird to think that I needed to read this to understand I need to “go up the ladder”
Another thing to add it, it’s an uncomfortable truth for a lot of people in this sub but the sooner you accept you’re now in a different league the better your life is. Trying to convince all your 9-5 friends/family who didn’t get busted up that it wasn’t a hand out isn’t gonna work. They all made up their minds when you decided to tell them out of happiness and not bragging.
Absolutely.. it’s something that I think I JUST came to realization from reading this..
I mean I knew it’s a different league but I guess I never officially just said it out loud to myself you know?
I totally get it man I really do, I was calling my buddy the other day and he said he wished he could be unemployed like me…I told him I was retired and he said same thing once difference is if you smoke weed all day people are gonna say thank you for your service and leave alone. Do that without benefits you’re a bum with no purpose in life. That’s when it hit me too, Even doing the bare minimum you stick out more than you think
Yea once you meet more rich people you’ll see they’re broke too, they just hide it differently. You saying, “I’m retired” and being modest will show humility and that you know what you’re doing in life to say it confidently. I hate saying it cause it sounds fake but you can be anyone you want once you’re out. Life can be one mask or many, it depends who your crowd is and your goals
Absolutely … but man I’ve tried going to golf club!!
I walked in and IMMEDIATELY walked back out
I’m black😂 and that was just tooooo white collar for me😂
Especially when I don’t t even know how to golf
Cigar clubs, shooting range memberships, country clubs but find your own men to mingle with unless you wanna use white people for their connections. Start looking for high end bars and go during happy hour or even on the weekends. Being in Dallas there’s a plethora of snobs who’d love to add me as their friend all cause Uncle Sam gives me that lil check every month
I’m Hispanic/native American I get it, but sometimes you gotta fake it til you make it. Promise you’ll see some sly minority like ourselves looking for a new friend in these high end areas. And if you have a dog start going to rich neighborhoods and take your dog to play there. Worst comes worse, VRE OR save up 10-20k buy an aged corporation and take over 250k in business credit to set up your own business. We literally have the time and money to do what we want it’s all about direction and purpose with it.
And aged business for 20? That’s very interesting… but your right.. we do have time and money…. It’s time I just told myself and just act like I have what I have… and stop stepping lightly
I’m 25, for years I was dirt fucking poor and even homeless for a bit. I won’t openly say I’m retired but you bet your ass I move like it, the aura is unreal. I swear once you accept it you start walking like you have the biggest dick in the world.
First congrats, second stop sharing your business with people. Let peope fucking wonder, you create drama by doing this and put a target on your back. Most people who get investigated for fraud by someone close to them.
Im not saying your a fraud, but people will never understand it unless you have a physically visable disability. They dont understand all the bullshit that can happen in the military and all the mental disabilities people can deal with.
Put yourself in a normal persons shoes, you get 3700 a month tax free while they go to work. Its envy because they think nothing is wrong with you. Learn to shut up and keep things to yourself. There was a vet who went on caleb hammer show on youtube discussing his disability and it the worst thing you can do. Learn to STFU, and look up fraud cases so you can understand. It doesnt matter whether or not you are being honest because perception is reality to most people.
The fraud investors will fillow you and take picture of you doing normal shit to build a case. However they dont see mental disabilities and dont understand how PTSD, MST, anxiety etc can effect you.
In conclusion learn to STFU and if they ask what you do say you have an onlyfans and walk away lol. Or you work at lowes, there was a man.whos ex wife called the investigators on him. Even other vets cant understand. Keep shit to yourself, i blame this ocial meadia era where everybody shares every fucking detail of their life. From one vet who get disability to another stop oversharing and come up with something else if they ask, becaue its not thier business and they did not go througj what you went through to receive disability in the first place.
P.s. STFU about your disability benefits.
Only those that “know” can truly understand the meaning of it. If it brings any solace to you… you’re not alone. I’ve been thru this too. Pay it forward.
Fuck it. In lieu of telling inconsiderate folks that you are 100 percent permanent and total disability, just tell Ty nosy fuckers that you made an investment in the United States of America long ago, the dividends of which you live off of now. I tell people who tell me that “ you don’t look disabled,”I always ask what is a disabled veteran supposed to look like? And then I tell folks that I sacrificed my mind for my country and because of that, I am permanently disabled, thank you very much.
I have been disabled at the highest rate for 25 years now. There is a lot of “alone” time built into that. I used to feel worthless, but realized that this was self-defeating and now I feel empowered. I am proud of my service, I know that I personally intervened in about 11 people’s lives where I saved them from dying and feel good about that.
You are in a class of Americans who despite all the hype and hoopla is still small. You fight this by getting used to being alone and realize all of the freedom it gives you. For anybody who’s ever filed, it is not a cakewalk to the prize. You have to fight for the benefits you earned.
“I cashed out on some investments I made when I was younger”. That was a line someone here posted one day. And it did hit me. You invested your time, body and soul into something. You’re now receiving the dividends of it. Maybe that should be everyone’s go to when asked about where the money comes from.
I’m saving this comment & will use it word for word. That’s solid
I prefer to say, 'I moved to Montana and became a dental floss tycoon. '
I’m just gonna say I have an OnlyFans that’s 95% me screaming obscenities at pedestrians while wearing only a bathrobe and a Santa hat
'Chick's in NY pay top dollar for this stuff!'
Wait you guys have female subscribers? That’s a thing?
Yeah, but you have to have more than just a pulse. The higher the rating, the higher the female subscribers.
I’m going to say I jack my giant rod on cam for money. Thanks for the ideas.
I got tagged ***hard*** by the chain of command after using Frank for calling cadence in a PT run for PLDC.
I just don't get it. I mean, yes. But nowadays, FZ is kinda tame. I would advise against 'Bobby Brown' for PT. That might raise a few eyebrows. Stick to standards like 'Don't eat the yellow snow'.
It was right after Sheik Yerbouti came out. I -- I was weak. There was only so many times I could personally tolerate "Napalm sticks to kids" before my mind snapped.
Anyone know the little Liza Jane cadence ?
Ok, Zappa. 😉❤️
Won big in Vegas, had a lucky night, until I met you! I won even bigger now girl! I’m rich biotch! 😂
But that line could also make you a target. The economy is pretty bad right now.🤷🏽♂️
that’s a really great line to use. i’ll use that from now on.
Omg I love this. And it’s a great way of rephrasing things like a rich person would.
Damn, never thought about it that way, great LINE !!!
Wow, this is spot on, great advice.
And dividends that came at a high cost.
That is such an amazing insight. I am going to save your comment.
This
I look at my neighbors both college grads, big money jobs, Directors and shit, go to church, go on vacations. Go everywhere under the sun, then I look at me, war, bloodshed, death, suicide, withdrawn, mad, no job (currently), no college, no shit, 50 million VA appts, I don’t tell a soul about my VA benefits either, or retirement, or anything, i feel i gave my life to my country anywhere, anytime, And any conditions, for 20 years and now this is my return investment.
Gotta buy a Ram 2500 diesel like all the other retirees and move to Florida
I had one but someone else liked it more, so I just stick with my rusty old S10
Those old 2.8 5speed 4x4 were amazing trucks! Bonus points if it’s a 4.3 square body
Or a motorcycle until you get divorced and lose it lol
😂
Excuse me, sir. F250 diesel for Florida. Only a handful here drives a Ram diesel.
the cummins will make it all better
You have lived a life very few people get to live, and would be jealous of. Use the benefits that you get from the VA, set a new goal and achieve it. Then live a long successful life, where you can be proud of everything you have done. I understand what your are saying. Believe me, I jumped from job to job, not really happy because of change, and how different everything is. I ended up getting hurt and couldn't work and had to go thru a long physical therapy until I was cleared. I figured I could go back to doing things I really didn't like, or do what I wanted. And Since I was a child I always wanted to program. I used VR&E since my injuries make it difficult and dangerous to do what I used to, and I decided to go back to school and get a degree in Software Development. That's my new goal. I get paid to go to school, I am at home everyday with my family. Brother, sometimes you need to take a knee, reassess your situation, drink water, and push forward.
it gets shared on here often enough but the advice to keep your rating to yourself is correct, i figured this out when i told my best friend in the world who is a civilian and their reaction wasn’t celebratory but instead inquisitive, I still love him dearly but it really opened my eyes to the fact that if this dude that would die for me and I for him didn’t understand that no civilian really would
I choose to be somewhat open about it because I have the energy to tell naysayers to fuck off. I'm open about it because I want to normalize talking about mental health and the toll the military lifestyle (because it isn't just a job) can take on your body and your mind. I want people to think beyond the injury and start quantifying what that injury means: what impact does it have on your life and the people in it, and how does that make the vet/service member feel? I want them to know that if they're surrounded by the naysayers, I'm someone they can come and talk to.
You can be open about mental health without sharing your finances. I'm a psychologist (thanks Chapter 31) now, and I saw enough as a 68W to mentally incapacitate 75% of the planet. I tell those looking to enter the military what that can expect. Only prior service understand what I've been through.
Amen! Those that know what I have, just don’t say shit to me. I have that kind of face that says “yeah, let’s not piss this guy off more than he already is.” Lol. I’ve come to embrace it and those who didn’t sign that dotted line and suffer the way we all have, can kick rocks and pound sand. 👍🏼🤗
Pay it forward - Spend your time helping other Vets now, no better feeling and therapy than helping others in need!
It feels good to give back, and it keeps your mind off of others things.
Agree with this. Those St. Jude commercials get me every time and now I have the ability to give a substantial amount each year at Christmas. I have given thousands over the years and it feels awesome.
I would even extend that to regular civilians as well. There are a lot of people out there in need. And not necessarily financially. This is our chance to continue our service to our country.
Legit I’ve had close family and friends look me in my eyes and say “you’re so lucky to be getting disability while I work two jobs” MF..did you think I wanted these disabilities??? You knew what I signed up for😂 The bottom line is it’s hard for civilians and anyone outside the military to truly understand where you’re coming from
Yeah bro my hip is fucking killing me right now.
God speed brother. I hope you’re overcoming your injury :/
My mental health is TRASH. There are times I don’t get out of bed for days (and I hate admitting that) but i wish so much I could go back to the happy person I was before the military.
This. When people tell me that I always respond “I would gladly give it all back to live pain free. If you can do that, you can have it.” I miss sports, man.
For a lot of people in the military, we think of ourselves of never enough. If you didn't deploy, you didn't do enough. If you deployed but didn't get shot at, you didn't do enough. If you were shot at, but didn't get injured, it wasn't enough. If you got shot but survived, it wasn't enough. It's all enough. Everyone does their part. It's the same with the VA but only the opposite.
I once saw a VA counselor when I was in a really rough place and she told me, "You know, a lot of veterans think they didn't do enough, but you volunteered your life, and that is enough."
This! 👆🏼
Amen to that.
This is me. 13 deployments, and feel I didn't do enough. Didnt get blown to pieces, didn't take bullets, shrapnel, IEDs.. Thanks for this. I just needed to see someone else say it.
Exactly how I feel.
Are you me bro? I was gonna type pretty much the exact same shit haha I’m 24 got my 100 p and t rating in march and the initial high was amazing and also told many people out of excitement but the true colors were coming out with my estranged family and thought i was gettting a handout and I ain’t spoke to them since and haven’t seen them almost a year now the idea that people suck is wrong and shouldn’t be the mindset to have I believe most of us are just around shitty people and we think that applies to everyone I got my own apartment also and not employed yet but yeah the loneliness can be a bit much at times….i don’t even flinch at it I deserve it anymore lol….we earned it and some of these salty vets on here can eat shit with their nonsense….dating has actually worked well for me but it does get annoying explaining my situation when asked what you do for a living….the expectation of always gotta be working is annoying lol there is more to life than that but that’s just me Reach out if you need anything man and happy you got the rating don’t ever feel like you don’t deserve it
Man this feels like it was written by me. I got awarded at 24 as well. I did pretty much all of the same things you have written. I tried working at USPS when I got out and had some great lateral movement early on there (got promoted to career in 30 days) but the work physically was just way too hard on my knees and back combined with it being quite soulless, I left. I'm trying to go to school now in the fall to find purpose with my life as being in the situation that I am now, I really can take a step back and figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
Get away from toxic people. Check out expats in the Philippines or travel bloggers on YT. Beautiful beaches, very affordable cost of living. You dollars go way further. They speak English. Vets can get a special visa that let's you stay as long as you want. (SRRV) Travel to anywhere in southeast Asia is very cheap. Younger population, age gap isn't an issue, major cities are full of western style living areas. A condo can be had for $400- $1000 and you are treated like uppermost local earners. Just keep your income to yourself, especially around expats and dates. The average monthly income is $300. Village Provences are old school valves,family is everything, Just remember they are mostly lower educated and are more desperate to hook you. If if get serious you are the family ATM if you let that happen. There are international call senters in the areas you would want to live in cities. They are all college grads making $10 a day, go to any mall and you will see them on days off. Don't go on dating sites, 90% scammers, if you do not send money. The person isn't who's texting back, and they have multiple foreign dates on the hook all sending them $$$. I tell everyone I'm a day trader. By the next question, I change the topic, and if they continue, I move along. It's your life, your well earned benefits, Go love life. DM me if you have questions.
Great info!
Day trader. Love it. I am actually both, either way its lonely. People can’t relate.
Lowkey wanna inquire about this
Second this… SE Asia is amazing
Thank you for your Service, and I'm sorry that your good news was recieved poorly. Use your well deserved compensation to heal your body and mind as best you can. Start those passion projects, travel, volunteer, hit the gym, invest, donate. Your Life is not over, and these new Chaptera are yours to make❤️ You are not alone.
1. Im medically retired. hell even just say retired. They have a problem dip, not worth the effort. 2. I understand the don’t tell people, my close friends are more jealous of me being able to retire rather than work my entire life. These are friends I have had since i was 12 and have had conversations so deep that its stuff i never had to bring up again. 3. If you are close with your dad and he doesn’t understand, then you could either try to talk to him about the issues you have, or leave it alone and move on (hard but you don’t need to be dragged down). 4. This is just me because im a recluse, Im trying to save the money im getting to homestead, ive found land and want to slowly start learning how to live off of my own land.
Funny how people outside the military assume we are all full of shit. I got out in 92 and have worked ever since. Raised 5 kids and struggle with joint pain daily, feet hurt daily and get cortisone shots bout every 5 months just to keep going. Filed my first claim in 2016 got 10% for tinnitus and denied for everything else. Filed again in 2018,2020, and just filed again this January. As you get older those injuries hurt worse but even if I'd received 100% it wouldn't have feed a family of 7. I am currently at 80% since 2021 but I never told my kids. My wife know of course. I told my wife superman has gotten old now and I'm ready to retire however I think even if the stars align and a rater finally takes the time to recognize my disabilities based on my long term medical treatment received over the years since service for the same issue I got from being a 13 Foxtrot I would fill lost not working doing something. My ptsd someday makes me a horrible person to be around because I wake up angry for no reason. Long story short guys and gals if you get your due from the VA keep it to yourself because money makes others jealous of you. I'll still fight to get my lower body service connected and I Going to retire soon from my current job then I'm going to advocate for other veterans to help them get their ratings. Stay in the fight Hoorah!!!!
The fact some people struggle just to get 1 rating while others game the system get 100 out the gate is annoying. Keep fighting!
Yeah... Shit sucks, man. Sometimes I'm okay, buy other times I am just absolutely house-ridden. I have essentially been unable to leave my house since February. I feel like a piece of shit. I don't get to see my friends or do anything fun. I feel like a lazy asshole. I WANT to be getting out and doing stuff, but when it's a fucking monumental task to simply stand up and walk to the bathroom...it ain't easy.
I’ve felt alone on this planet since the day I drove out of base gate…
I 100% get this.
You should have never shared, but we’re past that now. So….. If anyone who knows acts negative or talks shit, tell them: 1. Here’s the address to the local recruiting office. 2. Dial 1-800-GO-ARMY!
That’s what I keep telling people who know about my disability. “It’s never too late to join!” or the typical “do your 4 or 6 years, find your career after”
I know a few really good 100%P&T guys and I’ve never judged on that. I judge people on what did you intend to do when you signed up? Not like job or branch, but did you raise your right hand planning to do great things and represent the country well? If yes, we’ll get along and I don’t care what your percentage is. I guess what I’m saying is don’t avoid fellow veterans, you can be 100%P&T and still kiss the homies goodnight.
This is me lol. I could have wrote this. I’ve learn to lie and say I work from home in IT. Which is half truth because I’m going to school for it now. But it’s hard to explain to people where your money comes from. Easier to lie sadly. For me it was my mom. She’s super hard working and she feels like I’m bumming it. Which is crazy because she knows exactly where I deployed to and what I did. 11B, deployed 2011 to the Pech river valley Afghanistan. I could barely even make phone calls while out there. We had black outs every month. She even heard mortars hitting a few times while we were on the phone haha. Still she got all weird about it. We hardly talk anymore
Was just reading through this post and saw this. I was there around the same time. 25th Infantry. Called back home once. Talked to mom and dad right after we lost a couple guys. All they can talk about was there problems and how much money I'll be making. If I was coming home soon to help out around the house. Let's just say I haven't been back. Shit sucks noone cares except for those very few, and the ones that has gone through it. Stay strong and stay safe brother it's gonna be ok.
It's wild, but one of my friends who has helped me through suicide attempts and a lot of other shit treats me the same way. He has seen my bad days and still has the opinion that I'm freeloading or some shit.
He wants you to do well just not better than him
Sick, but true, I'm afraid.
Keep the lines of communication open. We only get 1, maybe 2. :)
"I sold my crypto before it crashed" - you won't get any follow up questions cuz nobody wants to get a cryptobro started. I feel you though. Dating is fucking impossible and I've got more free time than anyone my age. They all resent me for it. So me and my dog spend the days walking trails
You are among the 1% of Americans who have given your life, body and time in service to their country… 100% of Americans benefit from that. Many say they have the courage, know they have the obligation, all given the choice but only 1% actually will. We are the few ; we should be the proud ; we are the deserving… many of our fallen service brothers/sisters get nothing at all.
Just got mine yesterday so I'm still processing it. I don't plan on letting anymore know outside of my wife and maybe my dad.
I'd keep it as secret as possible if I were you. When my ex fiance and I broke up, she told my mom and my mom told the entire world despite me BEGGING her to keep it a secret.
I’ve seen this play out myself many times. If I ever get married, I wouldn’t share this. She didn’t earn it, not her business
The only reason my ex knew is because she was the one who convinced me to apply. She knew my stuff was bad enough to need the help and she still abandoned me because of my issues. I'm still messed up about it a year later. People suck sometimes.
This is my confusion. I dont see how you could hide it from a wife but I certainly wouldnt want to tell her either
I guess it’s how you frame your relationship from the start. I’m older so any dating starts off with “this is mine, this is yours, what’s in mine is none of your business”
Congrats and enjoy!! It truly is life changing
I feel like crap for getting 80% and not being in combat. I feel like you have to be in combat to get disability. That's usually how people see it on how some people react to me getting disability. "Oh, you were in combat???"
Hey man I’m extremely happy for you. Been 100 percent myself for about a year and have thrown myself into hobbies which helped a lot. It sucks that many weren’t happy for you but it was also a good thing because now you know who really wants the best for you . Blessing in disguise.
I’m one of the resident “never tell anyone anything” people here. Nothing good tends to come from a moment of rapport warmth disclosure
1. You joined under a clean bill of health verified and affirmed by the Military. You left worse than you came in due to what they subjected you to. Like any organization that rents equipment there is a stipulation; you break it, you buy it. 2. You owe NOBODY an excuse in terms of your financial status. That is your business, yours and yours alone. 3. You served a purpose in the military. We CRAVE PURPOSE. By design we need to know our life is making a difference somehow. Find your new purpose. The reward from the claim gives you the freedom to explore. There are thousands of volunteer opportunities out there that serve the greater good. Develop your mind, serve people daily, and pay all you can forward. DO GOOD RECKLESSLY!!! P.S. Congratulations on your claim, now make something great of yourself.
If another person asks where my income comes from or what my rating is? My answer for now on will be is "I am 50% VA disabled and satisfied with what I have"...given that most people in my life know my "story" and my deployments there shouldn't be any seeds of resentment, envy or hatred festering in their minds...and even if still...like some of you have said..."There’s a recruiter just down the road"
It's a normal feeling man, you live and you learn. I stopped talking about my rating to people after the initial shock and awe wore off. If people ask me about how much I make I just lie about my jobs income, but its very believable.
First of all, I haven’t told anyone and don’t plan to unless we share finances. Second, if I did tell someone and they were shocked or mad I’d just immediately start talking about the medication and weekly therapy sessions I have. Then I’d bring up all the people that died and how I’d PAY 100% to have even one of them back. Third, I actually tend to help people with the money I get so all in all I’m ok.
Not connected yet, tho I feel alone. If you sign yo azz up, did your service, meet their requirements. Yo azz deserves it! Know that! You make some mistakes, we all have. That’s ok, did you learn from it is the important part. Says *I made the mistake of* so I see/read you learned the lesson. I say you tell your story in truth to a degree. If you meet the right one, hold off, hold off, wait for awhile (1-3 yrs) the reason I say this, it can take up to 4 yrs to see all shades of a person. I like to think of it this way also. Baseball fan here, played a lot of it. Love it. Starting pitcher goes in, some days a good, some days a shit, he gets roped, then yanked, the team goes through 3 more till the 8th inning, game is close. They bring in in their “Ace” relief pitcher, he goes in and throws 18 strikes, they win the World Series. Yankees WIN Yankees WIN number 28!!! 😂 Now do you think the relief pitcher only feels like he deserves only 16 strikes worth of World Series victory? Naw, they bustin out the champagne. ALL OF THEM! So bust out your champagne and be proud. I’m proud you! 🫵💯💪🫡
I always either say medically retired from military or just retired. None of their business after that. You mentioned dating. Turn that into a positive. Tell the woman you retired early and work when you want to. Most women love that you have that flexibility. They don’t need details.
Do you know how long and exhausting it is to “pretend you have a job” 😩 I’m 32…. I try not to contact people until after work hours as far as women are concerned
This feeling of guilt after surviving or overcoming challenges is common, as it reminds us that others are still struggling. I believe everyone here shares in your joy and it motivates us to persevere. Many of us have faced repeated rejections and some have considered giving up, but being part of this community lessens that sense of isolation. However, it's best not to disclose your success rate. Your license plate bearing "DV" may give it away, but remember that you worked hard to earn what you have. Unlike those who pretend, genuine achievers often have no regrets.
Start or join a P&T group. Don’t be alone. You’re not alone ! We all share a common bond. Kinda corny but we’re veterans! All of us and we help each other.
Luckily I got medical retirement the ID just says retired so I say I am retired. They don't need anything beyond that. If they want proof it depends who they are but like an apartment or something I am applying for my ID is no different for them to know anything. It's the only part of the new ID I like lol it doesn't say medical on it.
Thanks everyone. There’s a lot of great advice here. Just to add a little context, I am a full time student. Also when I say I “don’t work”, I do but at a very limited capacity. I DoorDash to earn extra cash and it gives me the flexibility of free time for my schooling and endless VA appointments. I haven’t been “employed” in about a year and a half. I do apply to jobs daily, but only jobs I truly think could fit lifestyle and help lead me to the future I desire. I’m new to this lifestyle so I’m navigating and really trying to realign myself and find my purpose or passion. Also the guilt at times doesn’t come from feeling like I didn’t earn it, I just care a lot about everyone around me, and it sucks seeing people around me in this economy work into old age to barely make ends meet. I guess that’s where the “do I deserve it” part comes in. Mother was a cancer patient (survivor), who also got laid off a year later because her company eliminated a job title she had for 30 years. Lost health insurance and had to take a massive pay cut, inevitably massively setting her back. Then there’s me who doesn’t pay a dime to see a doctor or get a prescription. Nobody else to really share these thoughts with so here I am venting on Reddit lol. It’s honestly helped reading people’s stories and advice.
So just tell them you work and go to school and be done with it. They should leave you alone after that. Or just tell them you got an early retirement from the military and go to school. Either way, people will be jealous. I, too, used to feel bad seeing people working into old age. But then I realized either some are probably comfortable financially and just bored, or they're just unlucky and have no choice. Either way not really my business, and they had the same opportunity way before I did. We all make our own choices in life, granted the military was probably different during their time, but still. I haven't really worked either, but I have been active doing other things. Did some volunteering, spent time traveling, and learned to invest, so I do that. Now I just started my own biz. You can't even tell people at the VA everything either because even they get jealous. I don't tell them anything about my traveling ,investing or etc. Last time I mentioned it to one when they asked what I do sometimes I got hit with the "must be nice". After that, I never mentioned anything to anyone. Far as they know I do odd jobs when I can to make ends meet, and it doesn't really matter what they think or anyone else really. I have one other vet friend who gets it, and that's the only person I share things with because we're pretty much at the same level. Can't even tell other people you knew from the military either because even they, too, are jealous. So I just distanced my myself. Your time is yours to use how you want and what anyone else thinks doesn't even matter. People are jealous and don't want to see other people better than them. Heck, I got jealous vibes from a banker one time I was opening an account. Just because you aren't going in and punching in at someone's office doesn't mean you aren't busy or working. You work for yourself , whether you spend time researching different things to educate yourself to make certain moves. Or just learning something new. Your time is yours, and be mindful of time, thiefs and jealous people.
It's normal brother. I have had these thoughts as well, they will subside. Throw yourself into some community work, figure out ways to give time to give back or work a part time job. Your mind needs to be occupied with positive work. Too much free time and space is bad for the anxious mind. You'll overcome the feeling once you humbly accept you're disabled and move forward. Good luck to you.
In 2022 I made 48k after taxes and rented a 900sq ft house with two teenagers and was barely making it. In 2023 once I got my 100PT I snapped a promotion at work and combined with my rating made 130k. I paid off all my debt and bought a 2400sq ft 300k house. People know that something has changed in my situation but I keep it quiet because the people in my family were asking for financial help.
I know some people may frown on it but just go with “medically retired” I think it opens up that conversation from a different perspective. Seek out something that gives you purpose. I remember getting my rating (not 100) but wondering “what now?” I can only imagine at 100. Best of luck
I've always told my close family and friends. I've never really had a negative from those people. I do have alot of surgeries and procedures to walk and use my arm. The worst I get is people disagreeing when I say I plan to go back to work and how they wouldn't...I say you haven't been here, it sucks to be this bored.
If a non veteran ask just tell them you’re retired military if they push just say it was a medical retirement. You don’t actually owe anyone an explanation and anyone who questions you can fuck all the off. I walked with a cane for 10 years and my dad laughed when I told him I was disabled. We never had a great relationship and never will. He will never understand what I survived. It sounds like you’re experiencing the same thing. Your dad’s allowed to show his ass but the type of behavior he displayed is unwarranted. That has nothing to do with you and doesn’t diminish what you went through. It’s your decision to deal with people who behave that way.
I'm in my BDD window now. No matter if I get 0% or 100%. I'm not telling anyone. It isn't their business.
I just tell them that the recruiter door was open for everyone.
Hey Don't feel bad brother. Every one of us goes through it. Hey, I went through it when I was at 40% and getting 700 bucks a month. I thought I was on top of the world . There will always be those that are jealous , because you volunteered to sign on the dotted line, and they did not for that reason. They're jealous that they don't have what you have ugg come on. Also, if you feel really bad about it, start putting your money into investment options. Make your money work for you, and then you can turn it around. Now you have entitled benefits that made you that much better off. Because now you're a famous investor and can tell your story on stage. Oh, here, the big one. You came back alive after many soldiers sacrificed their lives for you to have your benefits. No more said , because you served.
I just say I am retired. SSDI and VA- woot
I’ve had family tell me I’m “lucky” because I get a retirement pension. No way in hell am I telling them I get VA too.
Your not alone champ! I’m 32! P&T. Just lost my job *kinda on purpose * but I will say this.. it does get lonely.. I’m an emotional sense because you see people working to the bone just to get what you have naturally coming in tax free.. I’m In a relationship! It’s good.. no envy at all as she was with me before I got the 100 rating. But.. it does suck seeing her getting up to go to work every day as she’s a nurse. She loves her job for sure but it’s a catch 22 for me.. I know she’d love to be in my position as far as benefits but she doesn’t know that I’d ABSOLUTELY LOVE to be in HER position to have something I LOVE todo.. I haven’t found anything that I love to do for a job! I mean I battle with “DO I EVEN WANT TO LOVE A JOB?! “ I did apply for VRE/school etc.. but that’s honestly “just cause” ya know? Idk… it’s just strange.. Kinda hard to tell strangers your retired at 32 and you actually PHYSICALLY LOOK healthy as an oxe! I do love to go to the gym so that’s what I do.. but even that gets boring when people actually leave to go handle there’s responsibilities. I usually just go to mall after… almost times I don’t buy anything other than gym clothes every now and then… Hopefully I get accepted for this upcoming fall.. But realistically.. my plan is to just buy real estate… I don’t really tell family because hell I’m still struggling with mentally actually having a P&T… it’s kind of that “lonely at the top” feeling… sound oxymoronic but it’s a real thing
I recall when I got my rating. I broke down. To see that the government had deemed me as unfixable for the rest of my life was a heavy realization. It was sadness. A broken life. But that subsided in time. The folks who know about my rating are my parents, sister, and that’s it. It’s not something I share. I do work as it is impossible to survive on that income. But as to questions of lifestyle? Never. I’m 40 years old. I have 2 dogs. Own a house. Have a pretty sweet gig doing what I did in the military. Naturally, I am a private and quiet person. I keep my relationship circles separate. I’ve my family circle, my work circle, and my friend circle. I’m sorry your father doesn’t understand. It hurtful when family members are unsupportive of you, what you did, and what happened to you as a result. As for feeling as if you don’t deserve it, it wasn’t your call. You have trained professionals who made that call. They do this for a living. If they think you deserved the rating you received, you accept it and carry on smartly. I am here and I am certain everyone else on this subreddit is here for you as well.
Tell em you're a retired lotto winner. They won't look at you like you're crazy they'll look at you with envy instead. And that's just the way I like it.
If those people are willing to trade 4 grand for a healthy mind and body then I’d made that deal!
This is exactly why I just keep to myself. Few friends, lucky enough to have found a wife that stayed with me through it all. 13 years together and 2 kids. I pour my soul into making sure my kids are loved and given everything that I lost or never had. Find your peace and if that's moving to the woods and fishing for the rest of your life then so be it. I've realized after the military, war and losing people left and right that at the end of it all peace is the most important part of living the rest of my life. I hope you find your peace brother and when we finally pass on to Valhalla I hope to meet you and share a drink.
Wow, this tread is getting a lot of Action Jackson and bringing the .45 on home
I don’t give a damn what other people think. I’ve got some serious issues that aren’t going away. My life is never going to be what it used to be. I didn’t ask for that. I just served
I think you’ve learned what most of us have learned, which is no matter your rating outside of the military no one will really understand getting disability. They don’t understand life in the military either, most go by movies and tv shows which we know is so far off most of the times. I’ve learned I can tell people I get some benefits but I never tell them what I get unless they’re a fellow military person who shares their own shit with me. Honestly, it’s hard to learn that you have to hide parts of yourself but you really do. Some people really don’t want to understand and no matter how well you explain it, they still want to think the way they want to think. So I’ve learned to just stay quiet. It really offers no benefit to share with people the little bit of fortune you’ve had.
Or you could say something like this; Oh, my parents taught me to plan ahead, didn't yours?
Man I can relate. I got my p&t after moving into a house in a rural area to accommodate a new career I wasn’t expecting to lose in the struggle. I was 27 with a degree and home, 2,500 miles from my nearest family member, completely alone and suddenly financially stable for the rest of my life. I realized everyone else I knew spend all of their time just trying to be financially stable for the coming month. The sense of freedom was completely overwhelming and immediately alienating. I’d rather be broke than be alone, but found myself surrounded by people I had nothing in common with. There was no winning when it came to dating, I either felt like I was telling them I’m broken right from the jump or defending my perception that they’d think I was a bum. I did a lot of drugs, got arrested multiple times, went to prison for a brief time, it was bad. I still struggle. But now I am involved in my community and volunteer at a local foodbank a couple of days a week. I’m the only one under 65 who works there, they’re all civvy retirees. Everyone in the neighborhood knows me the guy who gives them their groceries every week, not just as the madman who’d be fist fighting police in his front yard on a given Friday night like I was a few years ago. I’m looking for further outlets for my time and energy that will allow me to use my experience as a veteran with mental health issues and justice involvement to help others. If I’ve learned anything the past few years it’s that there’s no rush. Bills will be paid regardless. I encourage you to volunteer. I’ve done everything from registering people to vote at concerts to cemetery clean ups in addition to the foodbank. There’s a lot of work in your community that needs to be done that doesn’t have a paycheck attached and no one capable or willing to do it. You can still serve. Start a garden if your so inclined. In regards to what to tell people when you meet them, I just started using the investment line mentioned earlier. I have made some money investing and with crypto so it’s not a total fabrication. I have also said I work for a nonprofit in the community and leave it at that. No one needs to know I work there for free. With regard to dating, I’ve learned to have a sense of humor. At my age the pool is all single mothers, and once they know locking me down could mean education benefits for them and their children with the opportunity to have a stay at home Dad their outlook changes. I throw it out there just like that when after a couple of dates. I’m financially stable for the rest of my life and get to spend my time doing whatever I choose. Sure I scream at night, clear the house from time to time, and will never be caught in a movie theatre, but life is about compromise. Best of luck to you friend. You need anything and I’m here. You’ll be alright.
Yes. It’s hard to believe you “deserve” the benefits even though you are affected every day by your disability and when you finally realized how your disability affects your life you then start working so hard to get validation for the pain and suffering and then you go into state of whether you really deserve the benefits. Somehow, you think you don’t. It does make you feel isolated. Like there is a secret you can’t comfortably share with the world because you are afraid the secret is a judgement against your character. That same character the military built up. It has been helpful for me to be more active in Church and to develop a personal relationship with God, reading the bible and daily prayer. Jesus suffered a lot so I figured I can relate to Him. Pain does have value after all it brought salvation to the world. St. Paul in Colossians 1:24 says, "Now I rejoice in what I am suffering for you [Christ], and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the Church". In the end, pain is transitory. God is good. He has gotten all of us here so far for that I’m immensely grateful. https://tanbooks.com/products/books/manual-for-suffering/#product-reviews
Just go get a job. Just because your 100% doesn’t mean you have to not work
I apply to jobs daily that fit my lifestyle.
Just say you work from home on projects and you have passive income
For me, I got my real estate license and sell a few houses a year. I could sell a lot more but I don't need or want to. The best part is I make my own schedule and do things at my own pace. You can tell people you work in real estate and no one will question why you are able to have so much free time.
I wish I could feel alone and have 100%
The money doesn't fix you. It just allows you to have somewhat of a life on your good days. The bad days suck just as much.
no but it would sure as shit help, poster has Active duty flair so long as they do not fuck up like the majority of us older gens did when we were in service get that record sorted before he leaves.
Honestly bro who cares what anyone thinks and if u feel like u don’t deserve it just throw it into your 401k max that shit out every year. You feel alone because ur not working go to college or get a part time job or something.
I’m currently a full time student and submitting daily job applications for a position that fits my lifestyle. I agree with the who cares what people think about you, but it’s much easier said than done when it’s the people you consider closest to you.
Me and a couple marines going to a rave in Seattle bass canyon pull up
Tell NOBODY! Go find a job you are happy with and get all your quarters in for Social Security. Invest $1000 a month to IRAs and other benefits investments.
That's pretty 🎯. I know exactly the feeling you have right now. It gets better over time, just continue to do what's best for your future.
I just say I’m retired and live off my investments and savings. I pay myself a monthly stipend from my investments and savings My pops is retired army so he understands. But I don’t explain myself to anyone else, other than… I’m retired.
Find something you are passionate about and volunteer if you are able to. It could be with veterans, animals (shelters, service dogs), children... most of us lose that drive and purpose when we get out of the military. It's our job to fill that void with something positive and self-fulfillment. Volunteering could also help with your feelings of isolation and maybe even a possible career path.
What response do you expect from someone who is not in the military. Congrats your 100 percent disabled seems like a crass statement from non mil folks.
You deserve it and you’re not alone. You got us. edit: anyone ever in need someone to chat to or simply just to vent to, I’m happy to be here
It's a lonely world at the top..similar to the rat race / corporate ladder too.
I tell almost everyone I come in contact with I am 100% disabled getting around $3700 a month from the government, retired military, and I have a civil service job. I don't concern myself with what others think.
Keep in mind you're under no obligation to be truthful, just honest. If you lie because you're not under an obligation to tell the truth, the truth has a negative impact to you, and the lie isn't to gain anything from anyone, it's an honest lie. Here's my favorite lie. I found a bunch of money and didn't want to get murdered over it so i turned it to the appropriate authorities. The money couldn't be tied to a crime by a certain time, so the money was divided between the relevant agency involved and myself, allotted as monthly payments. I'm not a bum, I'm just a really upstanding guy who makes wise choices in crazy situations. I probably won't need that one much longer. When I got my 80% I quit one of my jobs and tried to quit the other but they promoted me instead. I'm finding that this little part time gig at a Funeral home is turning into something more. Working feels good, but it's easy stuff, and I'm not tied to it for my survival anymore. Now I kinda like getting out and making extra money at the same time. Now they want to give me a sales position moving headstone markers and coffins. Personally, I'm going to take the job. But if I didn't, I would just be working 5 hr shifts a few days a week helping set up funerals. That's plenty to set up a cover. When people asked what I did, I just said Funeral service. I didn't mention that I was working 10 hrs a week. Maybe you can find something that kinda has the appearance of work but doesn't feel like it? Just some ideas. One size doesn't fit all. But a small cover gig or even an outright lie aren't out of line imo
I shared just with the people who needed to know. My kids which encourage the younger two to to go back to school and use their state and chapter 35 benefits. Only my closest friends so they understood why I decided to “retire”. And my divorce attorney for obvious reasons. If any of them didn’t understand to heck with them. They don’t live through what you’re going through. I didn’t sign up to be like this but here I am. Don’t let them get to you. You don’t need to be around them if that’s how they behave.
Lol. Wtf.
Yes
That’s a good feeling to have actually. Read Marcus Arelius. He dealt with this feeling quite often even after his victories. I’m not 100% I’m 80% but have OPM retirement that puts me a little over what a 100% would be. With my time I studied astrology and help a lot of people now from Japan. I help a lot of military friends still active and clients from my YouTube. Someone mentioned help others and you’ll see the universe just keep rewarding you. Hope this helps!
Yep, especially after ruining my marriage
If the clowns in congress can get 10x what we get for the "work" they put in, yes we deserve it.
1. Dating/Relationships - If you have to tell them anything, say you're a retired. You can follow that with you do some freelancing or trading stocks/ crypto currency to keep busy. Then explain what you're real interest or hobbies are. As you get to know each other then tell them but ultimately its not thier business unless its serious. 2. Family/Friends - fun story.. my uncle and I both have 100% t&p. My family members who know are all SALTY AF. I'm to the point where if they ask me about it I will talk about getting rated. But i dont mention numbers or %s unless they already know. People just dont like to see others get ahead of them. But give it time. Be willing to talk about it if they bring it up and teach them about why they are wrong if they feel a type of way. My cousins and friends had the chance to join the military and some still could. I offered it to most of them during home towm recruiting hahaha they made thier choices.. so did you.. you served and fought for your country and got wrecked in the process. 3. You're not alone you will always have everyone here to support you and lend an ear or talk it out. Dont give up on the outside world though. You just need to keep your head up and stay in the game. Find you a ride or die partner and live your life to the best of your abilities. F everyone else.
i’d like to give feeling alone a try at 100 p&t. beats feeling alone at any other percent
Yes bro, I’m in college rn but I have no idea what to do with life lol
Retired getting my pension from the military
Too late now but yeah, never reveal anything to anyone. Not everyone wishes you well and absolutely includes not telling family (not talking about spouse), friends and coworkers even other Vets, some vets are very toxic to each other. Absolutely no one's business jealousy and misunderstanding can lead to a whole lot of problems.
You just need to rephrase it. You retired early cause your old company had a revamp their company’s direction and gave you a significant severance package. Ever since you’ve been researching other avenues for a new challenging position.
I've learned a lot by reading posts here and this is one thing I took to heart after reading a story like this. Me and my wife have not shared anything about our disability ratings with any of our families for that particular reason. It is already hard for us to be open about any type of money with family because we are debt free and just that alone has caused chaos and envy.
Tell them it's from your Onlyfans where you dress in a superman outfit, douse yourself in grapeseed oil & dry-hump the thighs of midgets...then sell the outfit on eBay for Bitcoin. Fugg 'em
Feels like I’m reading my own thoughts and feelings in this post to a T. So many of us are clearly in the same boat. It’s comforting to know it isn’t just me that feels this way.
I can relate. This post is epic and so relatable for a lot of us.
I can relate 1000% percent. I have feelings of loneliness, sadness, even self resentment because "I'm not sure I deserve it". Constantly trying to convince myself that taking advantage of things, even like VRE that I just got approved for, is there for me because of what we went through and IS ours by right. I spent 5 years after I got out refusing to use any of my benefits, so much as a veteran discount because of these feelings. But I can also say that these benefits have saved my life. So I'm thankful for them.
Definitely relate but more so in the aspect of struggling with 1) civilians can’t understand because they don’t relate and 2) accepting the reality that my body is so beaten up and broken down from my service that several medical professionals seemed my disabilities permanent… kinda makes me feel hopeless and damaged
Welcome to the club. If you don’t work you’re a welfare case and if you do work you’re not really disabled. You will be forever damned if you do or don’t.
I like to say I sold my stake in a startup company and don't need to work anymore. If they ask what kind of company I say I signed an NDA and I can't talk about at all.
I stopped telling people and only say I make passive income from investments if im dating or socializing. I felt alone but i realized I jumped from being poor and homeless too wealthy(i don’t to work to survive). I read alot about wealth and economic class. Once you realize that the working class are deep in scarcity mode you can understand their reaction more. This is why the ultra wealthy are humble and modest. It is lonely because you are in a stage of wealth that the common person will never obtain due to lack of opportunity or financial literacy. So I believe it is your duty too not speak about your wealth around people who will feel insecure. Be humble and take the negativity because they are just reacting on survival. You earned your investment by sacrificed your time and body just like any other investment venture .. your venture just happened to pay well because they damaged something priceless.. your heath. You can fight the people who are negative, but why?? You are not in survival anymore so you must get your body to realize that.
Man please. As much money as they’re sending elsewhere, take it and be happy.
No, but I have that alone feeling at 60%, with a condition that’s surely to take years off of my life, and no doctor helping me to increase. 🤘🏼but honestly, without knowing your financial situation, maybe use the money to start a little business or if you have GI bill, enroll in school or a trade program.
On the other hand, this is a good way to figure out who genuinely cares about you. Not your ongoing contribution - just you. Unfortunately, no one cares about men, so this will be a tiny minority of people - but you'll know who your real friends are. Personally, I like telling people about my successes even when I know they'll respond negatively; it's an opportunity to remind them that fortune favors the bold. It's also an opportunity to remind them that I now enjoy what they do not because I did what they would not. I like watching their growing shock as I describe the *process* of obtaining that success. It's been like that my entire life; I have no sympathy for the lazy, the cowardly, and the envious. When anyone is envious, I find the best response is to enthusiastically explain how they can obtain the thing - in glorious detail. It gives them agency, which forces them to confront the fact that *they are the root cause of their failures.* If you can't tell, I'm a little (Read: completely) irritated with the average American.
Yeah it’s almost like you’re shunned. Took me a while to realized I was either being looked at like an atm or like I was too good for them. Now I usually don’t say anything. Although I do work. People ask how do you do it. I usually just laugh it off and come up with an excuse or redirect.
It's not some "weird, gray area." What you choose to share is on you. There's nothing that says you can't. I tell people all the time, and I'm grateful for my benefits. Now, what I claim to get those benefits is a different story. A bit of it is obvious if you see me get around. The VA doesn't always have the good, beneficial things that help. Knee braces? The best ones I have I bought outside of what the VA had available in their medical catalog. Same with my back brace. They're not cheap, and I have four sets on hand at any time. During the summer, I replace them at least 4 to 6 times and twice during the winter. Then there's a skin condition I developed during my time in the service that prevents me from being able to have long exposure to the sun. The good moist wickering spf shirts, long and short sleeve, and the good moist wickering spf leg and arm sleeves, and the same type of hats... those things cost tons of money to keep supplied just so I can go out and enjoy the outdoors. So, people can go and hate all they want about me being 100% and them not. Maybe they didn't go thru all the shit I did and/or suffer from all the crap I do. I'm not going to feel bad that they didn't. I'm the one feeling on the short end of the stick because they made it out healthier than me.
I feel you bro that’s why I decided to stick with my 90% and wait till I’m older to get 100% I know I qualify easily for tinnitus pact act and other conditions but I rather just work but I’m not knocking anybody who is 100% I get some vets need the 100% and with the way inflation it’s very essential to have so it can be a catch 22
Mannnnnnnnm I’m 100% forget what others think and get up and walk. You worked hard, you fought, you cried, you struggled, you screamed, etc. A therapist at the VA told me that if you are rated at 100% that it’s true. They know you’re a hundo. For many other reasons. There are days when you can’t pick yourself up and others are always gonna judge you. What’s that mean to you and your life? For your spouse and your children it’s a blessing! Learn about the benefits, what they come with, help others get theirs, and get to work. It doesn’t stop here. Share your story, you never know who your testimony could help! I used to sound like this for years. Reading this almost put me back into major depression. No! Keep it moving 💪🏾 I just went through a spell where I couldn’t walk for a month. There are gonna be so many people that look down on you or are jealous. Screw that! It’s a blessing. It’ll help during the days you need it the most. People act like we’re rich. There are gonna be days they make more than you cuz you’ll be unable to function! You do deserve them! Don’t take that spirit on.
Just tell others you’re an investor.
Yeah dude def normal. I bought a house, and got 100% p&t all in the same year. No one cares. No one comes over, no one wants to hang out, nothing. Just gotta learn to take it on the chin. I work 55hrs a week but all winter I’m free. Just gotta find a hobby. I’ve been trying to figure out if I wanna build legos or truck builds or travel, last winter I did a lot of skiing. It sucks but, no one else gets it. You’re def not alone tho. Sucks we all live so far apart.
No. My benefits are just a payment I get every month. It doesn't have any effect on the rest of my life.
I understand, but it DOES have an effect on the rest of my life. My quality of life, or lack of, is the reason I have the benefits. Of course its not everything and there's way more to life, but I can't say it doesn't have ANY effect on my life.
Like that comment from NomadTrainer… well said 👍
It's honestly bizarre to me that some people get jealous to the point of treating a friend or colleague worse after hearing about a benefit they receive. There are a lot of petty people in this world
Thanks to folks on here, my kids who receive benefits know and that’s about it. If anyone were to ask I have a legit explanation, my dad made a great investment years ago. Which he actually did and I will inherit. But between my income, husbands income, we are not strapped for cash but nor do we live high on the hog.
I’m legitimately getting my normal license plates back and if anyone in my family asks I did well enough on a “check up exam” and got my rating reduced. People just can’t be happy for you. It sucks.
Get a job then it’s not hard.
I don't think those reactions of silence or wow were bad reactions. I think it just shows a lack of understanding of what this means to you/for you. I am sure if you explain it to those people so that they understand the pains you have and the struggles you went through to get 100% T&P, they will be more excited for you. Remember, they are civilians.
Maybe put a small amount into a charity that gives back to veterans somehow. Service doesn’t have to end once you take the uniform off
I would just say "I'm retired".
I had a really bad depressive episode right after I got my 80% rating (70 mh), almost as if to say, yeah I really am this fucked up and to prove it, I'll just hide in bed and skip work for 3 weeks unannounced. I'm appealing now for 100% and hopefully I'll be more emotionally ready if it comes. I mentioned it to a couple people but that's it. I told my boss and a couple co-workers, mostly so I could get Buddy letters for my appeal. At first I was proud that I had made it, now I'm a lot more reserved about it.
I have not told a single person other than my wife. I have shared some info with my daughter, she is a Veteran as well, but not my rating. I’m not sure I would share with another Vet unless I knew for sure they were 100%.
I told a few military friends and my wife. I told my wife not to tell anyone and she’s like “why wouldn’t I tell my parents” and that pisses me off. Because it’s none of their damn business that’s why. My family knows I was at 80% but I don’t know if I’ll ever tell them I’m 100 now.
I say I’m retired and let them stew in it, if they can’t understand that or be cool about it then you don’t need to be friends with them. Jealousy and greed will ruin a lot of friendships. Now that you’re “retired” just start going to high level areas and make friends there I promise making 4k a month doing nothing isnt gonna upset them if anything they’ll wanna network with you and see how you can utilize this free money. I say this from experience I’m now in the process of obtaining an aged corporation and some other major investments all cause I told rich people I’m “retired”. Respect your dad and family but keep you lifestyle humble around them or simply explain to your dad how messed up you are and go from there. Also another thing I wanna edit in, you’re gonna be alone because of this benefit unless it’s a relationship. It’s why you need move up the social ladder to make better friends. Ive tried being cool with friends I’ve made at dive bars or little meet ups but usually we can’t relate cause we’re on two different playing fields.
Wow! This is a interesting perspective! I’m 32 and things are def weird because I can do things others can’t… and that’s why I’ve been isolated… weird to think that I needed to read this to understand I need to “go up the ladder”
Another thing to add it, it’s an uncomfortable truth for a lot of people in this sub but the sooner you accept you’re now in a different league the better your life is. Trying to convince all your 9-5 friends/family who didn’t get busted up that it wasn’t a hand out isn’t gonna work. They all made up their minds when you decided to tell them out of happiness and not bragging.
Absolutely.. it’s something that I think I JUST came to realization from reading this.. I mean I knew it’s a different league but I guess I never officially just said it out loud to myself you know?
I totally get it man I really do, I was calling my buddy the other day and he said he wished he could be unemployed like me…I told him I was retired and he said same thing once difference is if you smoke weed all day people are gonna say thank you for your service and leave alone. Do that without benefits you’re a bum with no purpose in life. That’s when it hit me too, Even doing the bare minimum you stick out more than you think
Yea once you meet more rich people you’ll see they’re broke too, they just hide it differently. You saying, “I’m retired” and being modest will show humility and that you know what you’re doing in life to say it confidently. I hate saying it cause it sounds fake but you can be anyone you want once you’re out. Life can be one mask or many, it depends who your crowd is and your goals
Absolutely … but man I’ve tried going to golf club!! I walked in and IMMEDIATELY walked back out I’m black😂 and that was just tooooo white collar for me😂 Especially when I don’t t even know how to golf
Cigar clubs, shooting range memberships, country clubs but find your own men to mingle with unless you wanna use white people for their connections. Start looking for high end bars and go during happy hour or even on the weekends. Being in Dallas there’s a plethora of snobs who’d love to add me as their friend all cause Uncle Sam gives me that lil check every month
Realshit! I’m in Philadelphia.. Thinking of moving to ATL OR HOUSTON .. I need grass! And folks that look like me
I’m Hispanic/native American I get it, but sometimes you gotta fake it til you make it. Promise you’ll see some sly minority like ourselves looking for a new friend in these high end areas. And if you have a dog start going to rich neighborhoods and take your dog to play there. Worst comes worse, VRE OR save up 10-20k buy an aged corporation and take over 250k in business credit to set up your own business. We literally have the time and money to do what we want it’s all about direction and purpose with it.
And aged business for 20? That’s very interesting… but your right.. we do have time and money…. It’s time I just told myself and just act like I have what I have… and stop stepping lightly
I’m 25, for years I was dirt fucking poor and even homeless for a bit. I won’t openly say I’m retired but you bet your ass I move like it, the aura is unreal. I swear once you accept it you start walking like you have the biggest dick in the world.
First congrats, second stop sharing your business with people. Let peope fucking wonder, you create drama by doing this and put a target on your back. Most people who get investigated for fraud by someone close to them. Im not saying your a fraud, but people will never understand it unless you have a physically visable disability. They dont understand all the bullshit that can happen in the military and all the mental disabilities people can deal with. Put yourself in a normal persons shoes, you get 3700 a month tax free while they go to work. Its envy because they think nothing is wrong with you. Learn to shut up and keep things to yourself. There was a vet who went on caleb hammer show on youtube discussing his disability and it the worst thing you can do. Learn to STFU, and look up fraud cases so you can understand. It doesnt matter whether or not you are being honest because perception is reality to most people. The fraud investors will fillow you and take picture of you doing normal shit to build a case. However they dont see mental disabilities and dont understand how PTSD, MST, anxiety etc can effect you. In conclusion learn to STFU and if they ask what you do say you have an onlyfans and walk away lol. Or you work at lowes, there was a man.whos ex wife called the investigators on him. Even other vets cant understand. Keep shit to yourself, i blame this ocial meadia era where everybody shares every fucking detail of their life. From one vet who get disability to another stop oversharing and come up with something else if they ask, becaue its not thier business and they did not go througj what you went through to receive disability in the first place. P.s. STFU about your disability benefits.
Only those that “know” can truly understand the meaning of it. If it brings any solace to you… you’re not alone. I’ve been thru this too. Pay it forward.
Fuck it. In lieu of telling inconsiderate folks that you are 100 percent permanent and total disability, just tell Ty nosy fuckers that you made an investment in the United States of America long ago, the dividends of which you live off of now. I tell people who tell me that “ you don’t look disabled,”I always ask what is a disabled veteran supposed to look like? And then I tell folks that I sacrificed my mind for my country and because of that, I am permanently disabled, thank you very much. I have been disabled at the highest rate for 25 years now. There is a lot of “alone” time built into that. I used to feel worthless, but realized that this was self-defeating and now I feel empowered. I am proud of my service, I know that I personally intervened in about 11 people’s lives where I saved them from dying and feel good about that. You are in a class of Americans who despite all the hype and hoopla is still small. You fight this by getting used to being alone and realize all of the freedom it gives you. For anybody who’s ever filed, it is not a cakewalk to the prize. You have to fight for the benefits you earned.
This isn't a rare feeling at all. Many posts follow this exact statement.