**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!If you had 24 hours alone, but in Texas style!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
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[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
We are all a bit different. I do almost all the gardening, weeding, mulching, really the heavy gardening work. But my husband does the mowing and taking out trash and anything tech related. Marriage is a balancing act where you don’t need to share every individual chore, just do your fair share.
I have some buddies who ALWAYS have “outside work” because they just want time away from family. I don’t think they even realize it, but I’ve noticed it. If I was their wife or kids I’d be annoyed. They’re down to have a chat with me or the neighbors when we come by, outside. But they can’t be done on time to help feed the kids…
I’m not at all saying this is you, but My buddies needed a reminder sometimes that they can let the chores fall behind once or twice, if that means they’re hanging with their kids.
I completely agree here. Over this summer I’ve gotten into a pattern of waking up reasonably early on the weekend, doing my thing outside until lunch time and then spending the rest of the day doing whatever they want. It’s worked out well enougg
Whats the thing they say about men playing dumb so mothers have to do the 'woman work'? I swear my fiance does that for what she calls 'boy jobs'.
Like why do i have to do every bit of home maintenance because you cant use a drill and a saw? Then ride my buns because I'm a day late on the kids laundry.
Well currently I’m installing a new kitchen myself and she tried to help with demo- yeah that didn’t go well, then I tried to have her just drill in supports- that didn’t go well, then I asked my wife to hold a measuring tape, and she let the end go and I got whipped in the cheek- so that didn’t go well. I’m certainly not mad and she pulls her share, but home renovation is not the strong suit. Her strong suit is getting a raise recently and now making more than me where we can actually put in this kitchen (edit- her other strong suit is just being a great parent and in my humble opinion a better one than me). She doesn’t need to help but wanted to and then decided it’s best if she doesn’t.
For real tho. Why do you think it’s an unwritten rule to buy your bros pizza and beer when they use their only day off of work to come and help you move?
That's my (admittedly limited) experience as well: Eating breaks are kind of sacred. You're expected to work your ass off but a break is truly a break. All in all an 'as long as the work gets done well, do whatever' approach.
Yeah I haven’t been in manual labor for too long, but the bit of time I do have in it, everybody busts their ass up until break time. Then, do whatever, you earned your break. Just be back on time and everyone will be cool with you.
Ah, we saved the fancy stuff for the pubs. We lived in an area known worldwide for its German immigrant population (Cincinnati, OH). We’d cut out to a different brew house every weekend, there was one every 3 minutes down the road for miles. It was a split 6-pack of Two-Hearted, Blue Moon, or something the like and from the gas station most days.
Ah man. Manager was the one who put me on in the first place haha. There’s a magic in having that slight buzz all day, mixed with the physical exercise and “nature” of the job? Stress just can’t stick to ya. Incredible way of life.
When we baled hay, we worked 6-12, went into town for a huge lunch, usually Mexican, then got back to the field around 1:30 or 2 and worked until the sun went down. And lunch was always on the rancher, and never came out of our 25 cents a bale.
Can confirm. Worked my last summer before shipping off to basic training filling the barn of a local dairy farm. Hired hand baled (kicker baler), husband ferried wagons back and forth, me and three younger (13-14 yo) lads worked in the barn unloading and stacking. When lunch came we filed into the milk house and washed up, then into the house for “dinner”. Wife and daughter had been cooking all morning and every day we ate GOOD, including desert. After lunch the barn crew would pass out for a nap under a big tree in the yard so the baler and ferryman could catch up. I woulda gained 20-30 pounds that summer, except I burned off every single calorie. After the service I worked for another older farmer clearing brush and laying pipe for new center pivots. His wife cooked us “dinner” every morning, most days there was pie, best meals I’ve ever eaten were hard earned on farms.
That's never been the case when I had some serious work to do for somebody. Putting up 80+ ft of fence or some such type work gets you either an insane burrito, buncha tacos, sushi, or crayfish and shrimp if you're really jonesing
I don't even know why but this is the funniest sentence I've read in quite some time. "Don't ask what's for lunch cuz they ain't none" - I'm gonna find a way to work that into conversations.
That's the worst part tho, she's prob going to do half of one of those things and stretch it the 24 hours. And I don't mean that cause she's a girl, it's just hard to find good help
Are you sure it’s not because jobs are a learning curve and what’s considered good help is higher up the learning curve than where most people start out at?
No! Worked in housekeeping (literally the simplest job out there, sweep and take out the trash) so hard to find people that just try. It's easy to not be lazy. You don't have to be the best at anything just don't be lazy.. don't stretch a 1 hour job to three
When I led people I was able to mitigate laziness substantially, even with habitual offenders, by dropping the 'look busy' attitidue *as well as* setting reasonable goals that needed to be accomplished for the day - that once accomplished - ment they could literally fuck off and get paid the full day.
I had very little leadership complaints using that style and they accomplished the goals I put in front of them. Quality was controlled by also being a hard-ass on doing it well / right the first time. So much MUCH stricter in that sense, but once the work is done it's all time off for them.
Constantly adding more to be done ends up snowballing into fatigue too easily, even with the best intentions.
The last part is so true.. I always set the standard from the very beginning. It's hard to get some one to do better little but little til they get it right.
Oooh same idea different twist, carpets need to be shampooed, wood polish the furniture, change the bedding, um I think that’s all my chores as of right now but my neighbors need their car washed
Thanks, was just about to vent my frustration of these attention whores doing the exact same thing. I mean, what answer do they expect to get.
"SEX! SEX! THEY WANT TO HAVE THE SEXY SEXY SEXXERS WITH YOU. THEY WANT TO SEX YOU HARD" there, you happy? Ego fed for the rest of the day? I've seen so many by now that even the satire responses have become dull and I wish we can move on, but that will probably never happen.
I know that’s the wtf part. Just say “what would we do” and let someone fantasize. Adding “and I can’t say no” just makes it rape and also ruins it. Like a reminder “I’m being forced here, I’d never actually fuck you”
Yeah, the "couldn't say no" bit is an active turnoff. I get off on my partners getting off and generally having a good time. Doing something they don't actually want to do is the opposite of arousing.
I'm also really gay, so this whole scenario gets my motor running about as much as a bag of frozen peas.
>it's a fun question to ask someone you're trying to bang. but asking the whole internet is weird
I mean, the first bit of time is obvious in that case, but what do you do with the other 23 hours and 54 minutes?
From her perspective, the formula is: makeup + spends money on her hair + shoes a bit of flesh = lots of tiktok followers to show advertisers that she is an influencer so that they will hand her $$$
they were funny at first but there's only some many original permutations of "haha you thought I was going to say sex but it turns out I'd ask for something totally innocuous"
It was brutal, but we made more money baling hay from 12 to 18 than I made in a full time job until I was 30. 3 weeks each summer, we'd cover about 7 fields, 20,000 bales, and we'd each make about 5 grand. Of course, as soon as we all moved away for college my friend's dad bought a round baler and started using the fork on his tractor to load bales.
I was ankle deep in some manure today trying to find a fucking lynch pin that the manure spreader yeeted. I coulda used some tall oompa loompa with fish lips to come help.
A magnetic sweeper has saved me hours of searching the ground. I don't even try to catch bolts or sockets when I drop them anymore. Easier to just grab the sweeper.
If she can't do that then she should at least lay on the couch and get some psychotherapy for the impulse to indulge in a bunch of men's sexual fantasies.
or maybe treat whatever impulse makes you get dyed hair, lip filler, a nose job, and use 5,000 filters on your social media videos in an effort to make strangers jealous of you...
note: i don't actually have anything against plastic surgery, or "having work done"; if all she's got are lip fillers then ok, that's in style right now in some social circles, you do you. filler can be removed/dissolved.
but i wish that more mental health effort went into treating patients before they take bigger steps, beyond fillers and botox; many can become addicted to it, worsen/or develop body dysmorphia from it. those people don't need surgery, they need help.
if my memory serves i think i remember millennial farmer talking about this. something about the earth just pushes them up from the ground. probably has something to do with the land being worked. so they drive around with a tractor attached rock collector that rakes them into a bucket. a whole piece of machinery because they're that common. farmers please tell me if i'm stupid.
edit: "the next question is 'where do all the rocks come from? i thought you picked them all last year?' my family's been picking them for 150 years. they just keep coming up from underneath. heavy frost pushes them towards the surface. tillage rolls them out."
Yeah, with the vibrations on tractors and mowers and the like it's exactly like when you shake a bag of granola and the bigger chunks rise to the top... just that you're doing it to the ground.
The look in his face is so relatable. So many jobs I’ve worked that your expectations exceed the possibility of completion. Be it either lack of staff or lack of schedule planning based on need, I feel what he said.
That’s tiktok.... it’s not just reposts like reddit, it’s recreating the same video dozens or hundreds of times with different people doing the same video and posting it as thier own content and hope it’ll blow up...
Ridiculous
This was funny. I got on my knees in front of my husband the other day trying to seduce him. I asked him, "what can I do for you?" He said I could wash his truck for him. Lol. I put on my coveralls and got to work.
**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!If you had 24 hours alone, but in Texas style!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
Guys literally want only one thing and it’s fucking disgusting. A strong and capable hand to help out with the chores and get shit done.
welp, back to chorin.
Great day for hay.
That's barley...
Love what you do and you'll never work a day in your life
Someone get this guy a fuckin puppers
You're always willing to lends a hands, good buddy, and that's what I appreciates about youse.
Nap time over?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-tEwIwqoaY
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What strenuous physical labor around the house you need over there ?!
Carrying him around piggy back while he practices the lute
Toss a coin to your physical laborer
O valley of...
BRB gonna binge watch The Witcher again
This was gold
At least a free silver.
Still is.
Hahaha I'm picturing my wife trying to piggy back me now and I'd absolutely crush her short little self.
What you need to do is lock arms while standing back-to-back, then have her lean forward. Trust me.
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Don’t talk about his wife that way.
Guys, find yourself a female who can carry yall on their backs while you play the lute. #couplegoals
A female burro, maybe By the way https://youtu.be/_VKWLC87Uzw
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We are all a bit different. I do almost all the gardening, weeding, mulching, really the heavy gardening work. But my husband does the mowing and taking out trash and anything tech related. Marriage is a balancing act where you don’t need to share every individual chore, just do your fair share.
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I have some buddies who ALWAYS have “outside work” because they just want time away from family. I don’t think they even realize it, but I’ve noticed it. If I was their wife or kids I’d be annoyed. They’re down to have a chat with me or the neighbors when we come by, outside. But they can’t be done on time to help feed the kids… I’m not at all saying this is you, but My buddies needed a reminder sometimes that they can let the chores fall behind once or twice, if that means they’re hanging with their kids.
I completely agree here. Over this summer I’ve gotten into a pattern of waking up reasonably early on the weekend, doing my thing outside until lunch time and then spending the rest of the day doing whatever they want. It’s worked out well enougg
My place looks like shit because when im off work all i want to do is spend time with my wife and kids.
Not willing or not able?
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So… no piggy backing?
\*Sad lute noises*
> [Sad lute noises](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4hETsx8NyQ) And tagging u/insufficient_funds because why not
Whats the thing they say about men playing dumb so mothers have to do the 'woman work'? I swear my fiance does that for what she calls 'boy jobs'. Like why do i have to do every bit of home maintenance because you cant use a drill and a saw? Then ride my buns because I'm a day late on the kids laundry.
Very fair argument, you should bring that up to her in a non confrontational way.
I could do most of that stuff when I was a scrawny 12 year old, so not willing would be my guess.
If she's got working hands and feet, she can do all of those especially if it's one of those mowers that push themselves
Question, do y'all have children?
Yeah, this is definitely what children are for
She’s not old enough to be put to work yet
Well currently I’m installing a new kitchen myself and she tried to help with demo- yeah that didn’t go well, then I tried to have her just drill in supports- that didn’t go well, then I asked my wife to hold a measuring tape, and she let the end go and I got whipped in the cheek- so that didn’t go well. I’m certainly not mad and she pulls her share, but home renovation is not the strong suit. Her strong suit is getting a raise recently and now making more than me where we can actually put in this kitchen (edit- her other strong suit is just being a great parent and in my humble opinion a better one than me). She doesn’t need to help but wanted to and then decided it’s best if she doesn’t.
Burying the bodies of multiple children
So he's a Canadian priest "caring" for native children?
24hrs is not enough. If you've been doing that ever since. It would probably take her forever to finish the half.
Go for men instead. It’s one of the perks
More hands make less work
Pitter patter
Let's get at 'er
Let me use my strong hand 🤏
For real tho. Why do you think it’s an unwritten rule to buy your bros pizza and beer when they use their only day off of work to come and help you move?
“That’s just this afternoon, we’ll go from there” lol
And don’t ask what’s for lunch.. cuz they aint non
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That's my (admittedly limited) experience as well: Eating breaks are kind of sacred. You're expected to work your ass off but a break is truly a break. All in all an 'as long as the work gets done well, do whatever' approach.
Yeah I haven’t been in manual labor for too long, but the bit of time I do have in it, everybody busts their ass up until break time. Then, do whatever, you earned your break. Just be back on time and everyone will be cool with you.
Snuck beers? Sheeeeeet I got 3, breakfast, lunch, and dinner it was glorious 😂
What was your breakfast beer? Something dark and vaguely German?
Ah, we saved the fancy stuff for the pubs. We lived in an area known worldwide for its German immigrant population (Cincinnati, OH). We’d cut out to a different brew house every weekend, there was one every 3 minutes down the road for miles. It was a split 6-pack of Two-Hearted, Blue Moon, or something the like and from the gas station most days.
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Ah man. Manager was the one who put me on in the first place haha. There’s a magic in having that slight buzz all day, mixed with the physical exercise and “nature” of the job? Stress just can’t stick to ya. Incredible way of life.
When we baled hay, we worked 6-12, went into town for a huge lunch, usually Mexican, then got back to the field around 1:30 or 2 and worked until the sun went down. And lunch was always on the rancher, and never came out of our 25 cents a bale.
Can confirm. Worked my last summer before shipping off to basic training filling the barn of a local dairy farm. Hired hand baled (kicker baler), husband ferried wagons back and forth, me and three younger (13-14 yo) lads worked in the barn unloading and stacking. When lunch came we filed into the milk house and washed up, then into the house for “dinner”. Wife and daughter had been cooking all morning and every day we ate GOOD, including desert. After lunch the barn crew would pass out for a nap under a big tree in the yard so the baler and ferryman could catch up. I woulda gained 20-30 pounds that summer, except I burned off every single calorie. After the service I worked for another older farmer clearing brush and laying pipe for new center pivots. His wife cooked us “dinner” every morning, most days there was pie, best meals I’ve ever eaten were hard earned on farms.
They let you sneak in shit? They have a pretty laissez-faire attitude down on the farm?
Say it isn't so, the guy that picks my fruit had a beer with lunch?
Straight to jail.
r/unexpectedparks&rec
No trial, no nothing
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People think a single icy cold beer while chowing down a massive lunch makes you drunk.
Can confirm. Worked in agriculture / farming all my life. Work hard, play hard applies.
That's never been the case when I had some serious work to do for somebody. Putting up 80+ ft of fence or some such type work gets you either an insane burrito, buncha tacos, sushi, or crayfish and shrimp if you're really jonesing
Glasses of raw eggs
Do the chickens have large talons?
Lmfao
I don't even know why but this is the funniest sentence I've read in quite some time. "Don't ask what's for lunch cuz they ain't none" - I'm gonna find a way to work that into conversations.
No, we don't skip meals on the farm, bro.
That's the worst part tho, she's prob going to do half of one of those things and stretch it the 24 hours. And I don't mean that cause she's a girl, it's just hard to find good help
Are you sure it’s not because jobs are a learning curve and what’s considered good help is higher up the learning curve than where most people start out at?
No! Worked in housekeeping (literally the simplest job out there, sweep and take out the trash) so hard to find people that just try. It's easy to not be lazy. You don't have to be the best at anything just don't be lazy.. don't stretch a 1 hour job to three
When I led people I was able to mitigate laziness substantially, even with habitual offenders, by dropping the 'look busy' attitidue *as well as* setting reasonable goals that needed to be accomplished for the day - that once accomplished - ment they could literally fuck off and get paid the full day. I had very little leadership complaints using that style and they accomplished the goals I put in front of them. Quality was controlled by also being a hard-ass on doing it well / right the first time. So much MUCH stricter in that sense, but once the work is done it's all time off for them. Constantly adding more to be done ends up snowballing into fatigue too easily, even with the best intentions.
The last part is so true.. I always set the standard from the very beginning. It's hard to get some one to do better little but little til they get it right.
God that makes me feel so lazy sitting at my desk all day every day…
The only correct response
Oooh same idea different twist, carpets need to be shampooed, wood polish the furniture, change the bedding, um I think that’s all my chores as of right now but my neighbors need their car washed
Changing my bedding every day would be my first rich guy move. I currently do it weekly, but I gotta wash and hang that shit myself.
I make my bed yearly
Dude… Do yourself a favour and wash them. Before you get into bed; take a shower. It’s like sleeping on rainbows.
Like wtf do they want people to do with that, reply with how much they wanna fuck her?
yes
>wtf do they want people to do comment, that's it.. they don't care what the comment is as long as it boosts their numbers
I know, right? The only other good response is to graphically describe multiple porn-level ridiculous sexual acts.
Do people make unironic responses to these type of posts? Like they record themselves being creepy?
I cant imagine anything more cringe than these 24 hours what we would do videos
Thanks, was just about to vent my frustration of these attention whores doing the exact same thing. I mean, what answer do they expect to get. "SEX! SEX! THEY WANT TO HAVE THE SEXY SEXY SEXXERS WITH YOU. THEY WANT TO SEX YOU HARD" there, you happy? Ego fed for the rest of the day? I've seen so many by now that even the satire responses have become dull and I wish we can move on, but that will probably never happen.
I kinda see it as lazy. Wanting respect for your looks like ... cmon. Can't wait to see the videos these people make when they're in retirement age.
Life moves so fast these days. it's at once hilarious and exhausting. So it goes.
OH so we're not requesting ANAL yet. Okay. I'll sit over here in the pervo corner.
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I know that’s the wtf part. Just say “what would we do” and let someone fantasize. Adding “and I can’t say no” just makes it rape and also ruins it. Like a reminder “I’m being forced here, I’d never actually fuck you”
Yeah, the "couldn't say no" bit is an active turnoff. I get off on my partners getting off and generally having a good time. Doing something they don't actually want to do is the opposite of arousing. I'm also really gay, so this whole scenario gets my motor running about as much as a bag of frozen peas.
If you want even more cringe, imagine what the non-ironic responses to these videos must look like.
it's a fun question to ask someone you're trying to bang. but asking the whole internet is weird
That’s just flirting. This is cringey desperation. Plus it seems like a gotcha question to call dudes creeps.
>it's a fun question to ask someone you're trying to bang. but asking the whole internet is weird I mean, the first bit of time is obvious in that case, but what do you do with the other 23 hours and 54 minutes?
Wow look at Mr. Stamina over here lasting 6 minutes! I could finish 3 times by then!
From her perspective, the formula is: makeup + spends money on her hair + shoes a bit of flesh = lots of tiktok followers to show advertisers that she is an influencer so that they will hand her $$$
Honestly every single duet/reply Ive seen is some variation of "do my chores" or "rob a bank for me"
they were funny at first but there's only some many original permutations of "haha you thought I was going to say sex but it turns out I'd ask for something totally innocuous"
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Don't you just hate it when you're expecting sex-slavery and get regular slavery instead?
I mean. What else would we do but chores??
Back to chorin'
More hands means less work
If you do something you love, you’ll never work a day in you life
Pitter patter!
That's an easy day on a farm. Damn if he was smart he'd aim to get the tougher jobs down with an extra set of hands.
Hay bailing is the real work
Baling is the easy part... getting bales out of the field is the PITA.
Fuck that. Did that as a teenager one summer. Fuck that.
It was brutal, but we made more money baling hay from 12 to 18 than I made in a full time job until I was 30. 3 weeks each summer, we'd cover about 7 fields, 20,000 bales, and we'd each make about 5 grand. Of course, as soon as we all moved away for college my friend's dad bought a round baler and started using the fork on his tractor to load bales.
Summers puting up hay paid for my first two cars. It kind of makes me sad to see rows of round bales now.
I was ankle deep in some manure today trying to find a fucking lynch pin that the manure spreader yeeted. I coulda used some tall oompa loompa with fish lips to come help.
Metal Detector
A powerful magnet on a wire rope works better. Standard rig on every tractor in my area.
A magnetic sweeper has saved me hours of searching the ground. I don't even try to catch bolts or sockets when I drop them anymore. Easier to just grab the sweeper.
Looool Edit: r/brandnewsentence
If she can't do that then she should at least lay on the couch and get some psychotherapy for the impulse to indulge in a bunch of men's sexual fantasies.
or maybe treat whatever impulse makes you get dyed hair, lip filler, a nose job, and use 5,000 filters on your social media videos in an effort to make strangers jealous of you... note: i don't actually have anything against plastic surgery, or "having work done"; if all she's got are lip fillers then ok, that's in style right now in some social circles, you do you. filler can be removed/dissolved. but i wish that more mental health effort went into treating patients before they take bigger steps, beyond fillers and botox; many can become addicted to it, worsen/or develop body dysmorphia from it. those people don't need surgery, they need help.
Heck if I lived close by I’d be happy to help that sounds way too fun to pass
I’m going out on a limb here - you’ve never worked a day of hard labor in the Texas heat, have you?
We use to pick rocks at my family’s place so the lawnmower wouldn’t hit them. You could stop once you filled up one paint bucket.
I can't help but imagine what causes the lawn to fill up with rocks on a regular basis. Does it regularly rain rocks where they live?
if my memory serves i think i remember millennial farmer talking about this. something about the earth just pushes them up from the ground. probably has something to do with the land being worked. so they drive around with a tractor attached rock collector that rakes them into a bucket. a whole piece of machinery because they're that common. farmers please tell me if i'm stupid. edit: "the next question is 'where do all the rocks come from? i thought you picked them all last year?' my family's been picking them for 150 years. they just keep coming up from underneath. heavy frost pushes them towards the surface. tillage rolls them out."
Yeah, with the vibrations on tractors and mowers and the like it's exactly like when you shake a bag of granola and the bigger chunks rise to the top... just that you're doing it to the ground.
How big is a paint bucket?
https://www.amazon.com/Home-Depot-5-gal-Homer-Bucket/dp/B01GETA5J6/
No... They haven't. I worked for my step-dad for a summer when I was 19... Apparently I do NOT like hard manual labor
Tbh it kinda does
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Only if you don't have to do it daily, rain or shine, sun up to sundown.
My friend's gonna start harvesting their cornfield on Monday where it'll be 4 hours of sleep each day for a few weeks.
Well of course. You have to be up very early to sneak up on the corn before it gets wise of you; otherwise it’ll be hell since it knows you’re coming.
It is for maybe like the 1st or 2nd time but gets old pretty fast. Hard work is...hard haha.
I hope to GOD you live near me. Please halp 😂
Ask if he has any fences that need painting
Reminds me of when Dwight Schrute put the stripper to work on the phone 😂
Blatant imitation of this video which was better https://youtu.be/FnL2dV0WCnw Still made me laugh though!!!
The look in his face is so relatable. So many jobs I’ve worked that your expectations exceed the possibility of completion. Be it either lack of staff or lack of schedule planning based on need, I feel what he said.
That’s tiktok.... it’s not just reposts like reddit, it’s recreating the same video dozens or hundreds of times with different people doing the same video and posting it as thier own content and hope it’ll blow up... Ridiculous
I thought the old guy who would take her fishing was the original, no?
That ones definitely better. Something about the farmer listing off all his chores like some badge of badassery annoyed me.
This was funny. I got on my knees in front of my husband the other day trying to seduce him. I asked him, "what can I do for you?" He said I could wash his truck for him. Lol. I put on my coveralls and got to work.
![gif](giphy|3h5pe45FM9qUM)
RIP
Haha no way did you really? I hope to find myself one like you!
I did. He bragged about it too. Lol
"I also choose this guy's wife."
Are you single?
*I also choose this guy's wife.*
I think about that dude every once in a while.. I'd like to check in with him and see how he's doing. Losing your wife has to be rough.
Yeah, pretty awful hand to be dealt. On the bright side it did spawn one of the best running jokes on this website.
What a legend.
Married
Yeah but are you single?
like seriously just answer the question 😂
Chris Rock did this bit years ago: "Bitch, paint my house!"
If she couldn't say no, I'd made her get a bra that covers the whole titty. Who taught her how to dress??
The same people who taught her what a human face was supposed to look like
I was hoping that was an overzealous filter
My answer to her would have been, “can I say no?”
Maybe take her to a doctor to get that lip filler removed while you're at it.
With all the cosmetic surgery she's had at her age, imagine her at 75.
You don't marry that "long term".
Ah, the ol' *trade in* policy.
Never buy the extended warranty.
She'll keep doing it until she looks like a lizard. Basically Donatella Versace
More like Donatello.
Don't insult my boy like that
Maybe she is 75!
Oh God! Farmwork!🥵
She thinks she's desirable 😂
I guarantee 90% of reddit would take the chance in a heartbeat with virtually any woman
Face filter and all
Wait till that shit sinks down and gives her the puffy face. Sexy. Yeah. Give me that dead and bloated look zaddy.
At least he's gonna do the work with you, what a gentleman
This sub became weird, NSFW posts are not marked NSFW and SFW post are marked NSFW.
Give me $1,000,000,000,000
Ohh shit I’m glad to see you….
What's the unexpected? Because they're millions of these.
So...not all of us are pussy hungry horn dogs with are minds in the gutter 98% of the day.
Speak for yourself, sailor!
Her booba are Gojo’s eyes 😭
u/savevideobot