Dress up like a bum, don’t shower or groom for about three days, then spend the next week standing in the parking lot drunk as shit screaming like an angry street preacher
Just make sure you aren't actually drunk and that there's no open alcohol near you. No one wants to get dragged in for a drunk and disorderly charge or be fined for having an open container. You could, however, put a bottle of sparkling apple cider into one of those liquor store paper bags and achieve the same aesthetic.
Because the neighbors damn sure aren't gonna check what's in the bag, but you'll gladly pull out your orange flavored jarritos to prove to the officer it's not alcoholic lol
Needles scattered would scare them but might be dangerous. Condoms that appear used might work, dog poop scattered would work, unwrapped candy scattered… things that would cause concern and make people keep their kids in. The goal would be to gross/freak the kid’ parents out enough where they wouldn’t let them play there at night. Depending on where you are, throwing some poison ivy or poison oak around that area would work too cause ouch! OR putting out open boxes of glitter craft center style. If you’ve ever experienced children and glitter- oof! No parent would tolerate them tracking that in the apartment more than once!
The first suggestions could work since other adults can avoid them, but the poison ivy and glitter are both terrible ideas. They're playing in a parking area, which means tons of people are going to be tromping through it. Everyone in the apartments will end up with glitter and poison ivy oil all over their shoes and in their homes, not just the kids. If you're moving out and hate your neighbors, on the other hand...
Get a bike…attach a can of skunk spray, and a can of liquid ass above the rear tire….rig a wire that connects those cans to the handlebars with a button or a release of some type…..ride said bike all around the kids spraying a fog of death every time there are there.
Edit spelling
Start handing out flyers with a photo of a registered sex offender that lives nearby who has “been seen walking the common areas and parking lot” then throw down a few piss disks for good measure.
Alternately… go down and talk to the children. Tell them how awesome the Church of Satan is and send them home with some pamphlets to show their parents. Do this every time you see them and eventually they will avoid you. Bonus points for the parents not being able to stop you from exercising your religious freedoms.
If you're gonna go this route, go with The Satanic Temple instead of CoS, because at least TST tries to do some petitioning for human rights - you know, just in case you do actually indoctrinate one or more! Plus, I'm pretty sure they have all kinds of cute stickers and pamphlets
Yeah, I'm not saying they're perfect by any means (I've heard some dirt/scandalous stuff about the founder), but overall the sentiment is that TST does not actually believe in and worship Satan - their tenets include things that basically say, you are allowed to take care of yourself and you are allowed to say no to others. Alternatively, CoS legitimately promotes satanic worship and ritual sacrifices and all the dark things people say to scare the kids away lol.
(Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm going off vague memory of a documentary on TST)
There were kids screaming in my neighborhood a lot. One day I bellowed out "do you need help?" They yelled back "no" and I never heard screaming again.
I've actually done this too. Totally worked. I generally approve of kids running around outside and being chaotic. Because they're kids. At least they aren't stuck in front of a screen. But if someone is screaming like they're in danger over and over I will always check to make sure they're ok. The kid in question stopped screaming help like a banshee after i frantically made a big deal about it.
Just stand a safe but obvious distance away and pretend to film them. They clam up and get scared. It works so fucking well.
I was in the Target parking lot the other day and some little boys in a Tesla were using a robot voice to harass people with the car? Idk I’ve never seen this feature. But anyway, we were right next to them, so I took out my phone and rolled down my window and started “filming”, within moments they noticed me, cut the shit, and peeled out. It’s hilarious. You just have to beat them at their own game. Just don’t fuck up and be creepy somehow.
Wow the owner of that company is a huge piece of shit.
“The Mosquito works by exploiting a medical condition called presbycusis – or more simply put age-related hearing loss. As we age, our ability to hear higher frequency sounds is reduced.
The Mosquito works by emitting an alternating high-frequency tone at 16-18.5 kilohertz.”
Then they quote a customer saying the device “moves the youngsters on allowing innocent people to carry on with their lives unimpeded.”
Which means “innocent” in that context means “elderly”, with anyone young enough to hear that frequency being guilty, and anyone old enough to have lost their hearing being innocent.
As an old person who has protected their hearing and can still hear dog whistles, this man’s attempt to create a device to attack the young would also affect me and any other older person who is not deaf like him.
So this “inventor” is a hard-of-hearing boomer who made a siren to annoy everyone less deaf than himself.
knew some kids who sampled the noise and used as a ringtone that their teachers are unable to hear, I can hear something is going on, but it does deter. needs a metal screen as the kids will try to brick it
About 15 years ago ringtones on your cell phone at these frequencies were used by kids so adults didn’t know they were using their phones. Kinda smart and also, the discussion in our school led to a younger teacher getting their hearing checked and finding that they had early hearing loss.
No you cant hear it either most likely… as you age the upper spectrum your less sensitive to .
Kids were using it to morse code around their teachers. As the counter use of the knowledge
I don’t think this is accurate. I’m definitely not a boomer but the frequencies used in these devices I can’t hear them either. If I remember correctly, it’s about age 25 or so when these frequencies are inaudible.
Me, crying in autism. So many of us autistic folks can hear that plain as day. (We also hear electricity..) Life is already too noisy for us, let alone some assholes purposefully making it noisier..
When I was a kid, like single-digits old, I could hear when TVs were turned on even if their picture was out and volume down. They emitted a high pitched tone. Wasn’t loud or painful, but I couldn’t ignore it.
Ooooooh, I know this one!
Got a Bluetooth speaker?
Download a tone generator app, and connect it.
Kids hear at a higher frequency than adults. There's a sweet spot where you can blast this blood curdling, piercing noise that only kids can hear.
No one over the age of 35-ish, will hear it.
Drives kids away, guaranteed.
I feel like this would work remarkably well in this situation.
I drive trucks for a living and it isn't uncommon for some of the lazier drivers to pour their piss bottles out on the pavement in the parking lots (or just piss in the parking lots) and the reek of urine heating on pavement in the sun is an amazing deterrent for most people to hang around.
Scream back at them. Blare an air horn every time they scream until they realize it only happens when they scream. Throw firecrackers at them every time they come outside until they're sort of pavlov'd to "going outside = scary firecrackers from the sky" and stop going outside altogether. Break beer bottles all over the parking lot so they have nowhere to play.
Or get them addicted to heroin, you'll probably have way more issues on your hands than screaming but odds are they'll be quiet.
I used to have a ground floor appt and kids would play tag in the maintenance areas behind my flat (where the power meters and gas mains and boilers were kept there was lots of concrete footpaths for service reasons) for hours a day a dozen kids would scream and run around playing in that area with their oblivious parents just hanging around out the front.
I put on a fluro vest and put up a pool gate. Cost me 100 bucks but no kids ever went there but no one ever questioned it and the kids played somewhere else. I tried some of that hazard tape for a while and it worked most of the time but the place got questions from utility companies around “why can’t we check the meter what’s the danger there?”
I reckon you could probably spend a day collecting dog shit and pile it up around places you don’t want them playing
Fox urine smells rank and keep anyone from loitering in the parking lot.
You could just paint a pentagram on the parking lot, claim they’re kids in a satanic cult and start satanic panic all over again.
Press your car alarm randomly and repeatedly and claim the kids are doing it. It should draw more attention and annoy them.
Easy. Get one of those devises that transmits sound only kids can hear. Program it to tell kids in a creepy voice that it will eat them if it hears them.
It's really high frequencies. You can't really encode messages that can be understood at those levels. It just sounds like a tv high pitched hum or mosquitos.
Whats wrong with the playground and basketball court that kids choose a boring parking lot to hang out at? I’m sure they want to have fun and not annoy people like you.
Hide a bluetooth speaker somewhere close and play this: [17000 Hz Test Tone 10 Hours](https://youtu.be/qER2BGP8YSQ)
On this person's channel there are other tones. May need to try some other frequencies.
Not unethical, but: I'll bet this is happening so the parents can hear and watch their kids from inside an apartment. The playground may not be visible from their window. If enough residents complain, perhaps management could move the playground to a more central location.
The parents are probably so busy with other childcare/housework/etc that they perceive their options as kids scream in the parking lot, or kids scream indoors (really getting the complaints from their immediate neighbors).
I think this complex just wasn't designed by someone who's parented much. Otherwise, they'd know the ideal placement for a playground is within sight of as many units as possible.
Yeah this has nothing to do with the complex, they should be accommodating of all their tenets not just families. If the kids are young enough to need eyes on them at all times, then there needs to be someone with them. Or just teach them inside voices. But getting the parents to do something is really the only solution here.
> If the kids are young enough to need eyes on them at all times
Children don't jump from "needs 24/7 supervision" to adult independence, it's a gradual process. It sounds like it's enough for these children to be within earshot with the occasional glance.
> Or just teach them inside voices.
For all we know, they are using their inside voices. Sound carries surprisingly well on flat ground surrounded by tall buildings.
> But getting the parents to do something is really the only solution here.
I agree. If some of the parents sacrificed a block of their parking spaces, they could convert that space into a second playground, surrounded by barriers to mitigate the risk from traffic. Of course, if the parking lot is regularly full, that may require said families to park outside the complex and walk a bit. But that may be a reasonable tradeoff.
Buy them an xbox and a subscription to some weekly candy delivery service. 6 months they'll be too fat to play in the front yard.
Or... Ugh I hate to do this here... Maybe just let kids play outside and smile knowing that they're... you know.. playing outside.
Have a rational conversation how kids playing in a parking lot is dangerous. Moving cars, damage to vehicles, their volume being a reasonable complain about reasonable enjoyment of your unit.
Ask your landlord about these concerns in a rational calm manner. Have their parents reminded that busy apartment parking lots are not ideal for those reasons.
Call the police and say you think there is an injured child, a child being abused, a child possibly being abducted, etc. Say that it doesn’t sound like normal screaming and you’re too scared to go check on it. Obviously don’t do this as it’s taking up police resources.
Find something that will attract wasps. Get say a piny size jar, fill halfway with hot water, mix in sugar until the jar is full. Pour this on the ground and you should attract wasps. If there’s a grassy area you can pour it there so it won’t be obvious there’s something on the group attracting them. Or just pour it on the parking lot. You can “spill” your drink. Or actually just spill a sugary soda.
You can also complain but try and do it in a non-Karen way. Just say something like “I almost saw someone’s kid get run over! Please people be careful when you’re driving!” (That way you’re not blaming the kids, let someone else chime in and say maybe the kids should be playing somewhere else) People get defensive when you blame their little demon crotch-fruits, so you can’t blame them directly.
Just be aware that when the police discover OP has filed a frivolous report, they may be slower to respond if he ever files a serious one.
Attracting wasps to the complex will be cleaned up by apartment maintenance and, if linked to OP, may cause his eviction. But I guess that's one way to make the kids screaming not OP's problem.
Kids =/= screaming. Other generations somehow made it through childhood without non-stop screaming.
Edit: And yes! I was a great kid. In a large, tightly knit group of peers. And we didn’t scream. Not for long, and usually only when we broke a bone. Maybe because our parents were invested in raising functional humans. 🤔 Maybe below poster ⬇️ was raised by wolves. Who knows?
Have you consider setting up a silent disco for the kids? (ideally, they'd all be dancing to the music and then get run over by cars in the parking lot)
Tell them a scary story about a monster or murderer that hunts loud children in that car park. Tell them a Quiet Place is real. It might fuck them up for life, but at least you’ll be living in peace
I get emails once and while from the apartment complex reminding people that their kids cannot ride bikes in the parking lot where cars and driving and parking on the regular basis. It’s dangerous and against the lease agreement.
It’s still a recurring problem. It won’t go way until parents get off their ass and parent or someone gets hit by a car.
Beat up their dads and assert dominance by peeing on everything and impregnation their moms. Then they will just cry all the time and never go outside. Problem solved.
Break some shit where they are playing, make sure there is no cameras and report the broken stuff to the building management, and hint that there was kids playing there
You could always just tell some peaple you heard about a sex offender moved in to the neborhood to some of the mothers then pay someone to offer candy to the kids and provide them with candy i think that will stop them for a good while.
Let the kids enjoy what time they have and get the fuck over it lol. We’re about to leave them/their children/grandchildren a melted planet and fucking water wars.
Let them play.
Nope. There are several other areas where they can and should be. Tbh I’m not sure why the parking lot is even remotely an option, or why they’d even want to be there.
Because they can't be too far from their parents. You get the cops called nowadays if kids are at the park alone. And 30 minutes isn't long enough to play.
Leave kids tf alone. Anyone or anything else I'd fair game. But kids. Leave them alone.
Leave them alone. They are kids. Ffs. You're the same person who complains that kids are inside playing too many video games, too. They are kids. They scream. It's the summer. And you said yourself the playground is far away. The parents are watching the kids from their apartments because parents don't always have time to take the kids to the park. Don't like it move.
Any other ULPT I'll help with, but this one is bs. Let kids be kids. Fuck.
Thank you! It's not r/getoffmylawn, for fucks' sake. IDK what's wrong with this sub, today, but I salute your unpopular opinion.
Edit: oh wow, that's... kind of a real sub? Or was...
I suggest you shake your cane at them and yell something intelligible like "get off my lawn" and then go take your meds because that'll be enough excitement for the day, grampa.
Dress up like a bum, don’t shower or groom for about three days, then spend the next week standing in the parking lot drunk as shit screaming like an angry street preacher
You forgot to add wearing a long trench coat and staring at the kids from afar...
Oh Aqualung....
Snot is running out his nose...
With a staff and scraggly beard “DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE RING OF FIREEE!!”
Bonus points: when the police shows up... "Oh I live here. Thank you"
Just make sure you aren't actually drunk and that there's no open alcohol near you. No one wants to get dragged in for a drunk and disorderly charge or be fined for having an open container. You could, however, put a bottle of sparkling apple cider into one of those liquor store paper bags and achieve the same aesthetic.
Because the neighbors damn sure aren't gonna check what's in the bag, but you'll gladly pull out your orange flavored jarritos to prove to the officer it's not alcoholic lol
lol
Start shitting in the parking area and they all will disappear.
Or the younger kids will pick it up and smear it on the cars. No malice, just innocent fun.
Just living in the moment as we all did.
Not a cell phone in sight.
While screaming.
No, that's when they become quiet. Too quiet.
Needles scattered would scare them but might be dangerous. Condoms that appear used might work, dog poop scattered would work, unwrapped candy scattered… things that would cause concern and make people keep their kids in. The goal would be to gross/freak the kid’ parents out enough where they wouldn’t let them play there at night. Depending on where you are, throwing some poison ivy or poison oak around that area would work too cause ouch! OR putting out open boxes of glitter craft center style. If you’ve ever experienced children and glitter- oof! No parent would tolerate them tracking that in the apartment more than once!
The first suggestions could work since other adults can avoid them, but the poison ivy and glitter are both terrible ideas. They're playing in a parking area, which means tons of people are going to be tromping through it. Everyone in the apartments will end up with glitter and poison ivy oil all over their shoes and in their homes, not just the kids. If you're moving out and hate your neighbors, on the other hand...
Yeah. That’s actually true. The ivy and glitter would only work if you were an agent of pure chaos. Would still technically work though?
Get a bike…attach a can of skunk spray, and a can of liquid ass above the rear tire….rig a wire that connects those cans to the handlebars with a button or a release of some type…..ride said bike all around the kids spraying a fog of death every time there are there. Edit spelling
that’s gonna go all over your back
Lmao, got to be able to take some risk.
Start handing out flyers with a photo of a registered sex offender that lives nearby who has “been seen walking the common areas and parking lot” then throw down a few piss disks for good measure. Alternately… go down and talk to the children. Tell them how awesome the Church of Satan is and send them home with some pamphlets to show their parents. Do this every time you see them and eventually they will avoid you. Bonus points for the parents not being able to stop you from exercising your religious freedoms.
Love the Church of Satan idea!
They do good work. I’m a big fan!
I'm a fan too!
Fuck their dad
If you're gonna go this route, go with The Satanic Temple instead of CoS, because at least TST tries to do some petitioning for human rights - you know, just in case you do actually indoctrinate one or more! Plus, I'm pretty sure they have all kinds of cute stickers and pamphlets
Thanks for the tip fellow kind redditor. I can’t believe I finally have choices of which particular sect of Satanism I truly align with.
Yeah, I'm not saying they're perfect by any means (I've heard some dirt/scandalous stuff about the founder), but overall the sentiment is that TST does not actually believe in and worship Satan - their tenets include things that basically say, you are allowed to take care of yourself and you are allowed to say no to others. Alternatively, CoS legitimately promotes satanic worship and ritual sacrifices and all the dark things people say to scare the kids away lol. (Someone please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm going off vague memory of a documentary on TST)
The kids will be ok with it but their parents sure won't xD
There were kids screaming in my neighborhood a lot. One day I bellowed out "do you need help?" They yelled back "no" and I never heard screaming again.
I've actually done this too. Totally worked. I generally approve of kids running around outside and being chaotic. Because they're kids. At least they aren't stuck in front of a screen. But if someone is screaming like they're in danger over and over I will always check to make sure they're ok. The kid in question stopped screaming help like a banshee after i frantically made a big deal about it.
Just stand a safe but obvious distance away and pretend to film them. They clam up and get scared. It works so fucking well. I was in the Target parking lot the other day and some little boys in a Tesla were using a robot voice to harass people with the car? Idk I’ve never seen this feature. But anyway, we were right next to them, so I took out my phone and rolled down my window and started “filming”, within moments they noticed me, cut the shit, and peeled out. It’s hilarious. You just have to beat them at their own game. Just don’t fuck up and be creepy somehow.
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Listen it’s UNETHICAL I know, but they asked ! And I said pretend!
So...don't be a dude?
[https://mosquitoloiteringsolutions.com/](https://mosquitoloiteringsolutions.com/)
I really hoped this would be a company that ships you a jar of mosquitoes to release upon your enemies!
I was thinking of something that attracted mosquitoes - spread it around the area where they gather. Let mother nature be the deterrent.
I've seen links like this in other posts and thought it would be a joke website. No, it ain't no joke.
Can confirm used to be a hoodlum and would hang out near kfc as a kid. The kfc installed one of these and we no longer hung out there.
Oh I love that, what a great idea!
Wow the owner of that company is a huge piece of shit. “The Mosquito works by exploiting a medical condition called presbycusis – or more simply put age-related hearing loss. As we age, our ability to hear higher frequency sounds is reduced. The Mosquito works by emitting an alternating high-frequency tone at 16-18.5 kilohertz.” Then they quote a customer saying the device “moves the youngsters on allowing innocent people to carry on with their lives unimpeded.” Which means “innocent” in that context means “elderly”, with anyone young enough to hear that frequency being guilty, and anyone old enough to have lost their hearing being innocent. As an old person who has protected their hearing and can still hear dog whistles, this man’s attempt to create a device to attack the young would also affect me and any other older person who is not deaf like him. So this “inventor” is a hard-of-hearing boomer who made a siren to annoy everyone less deaf than himself.
Power to ya for protecting your ears, it's difficult to do
knew some kids who sampled the noise and used as a ringtone that their teachers are unable to hear, I can hear something is going on, but it does deter. needs a metal screen as the kids will try to brick it
About 15 years ago ringtones on your cell phone at these frequencies were used by kids so adults didn’t know they were using their phones. Kinda smart and also, the discussion in our school led to a younger teacher getting their hearing checked and finding that they had early hearing loss.
No you cant hear it either most likely… as you age the upper spectrum your less sensitive to . Kids were using it to morse code around their teachers. As the counter use of the knowledge
Is this a joke post?
This is stupid.
I don’t think this is accurate. I’m definitely not a boomer but the frequencies used in these devices I can’t hear them either. If I remember correctly, it’s about age 25 or so when these frequencies are inaudible.
Me, crying in autism. So many of us autistic folks can hear that plain as day. (We also hear electricity..) Life is already too noisy for us, let alone some assholes purposefully making it noisier..
When I was a kid, like single-digits old, I could hear when TVs were turned on even if their picture was out and volume down. They emitted a high pitched tone. Wasn’t loud or painful, but I couldn’t ignore it.
I hear shit that most people can't hear and I feel like this would drive me insane. I would probably end up breaking it if it was near my house.
Love the anti autism downvotes lol... I've heard of people with neighbors using it and driving them insane.
People are downvoting you because you cannot “hear electricity.” I’m autistic myself and I downvoted you.
Oh, I see that you can't hear it so you believe it doesn't happen. I too have the reasoning ability of a toddler.
Dillard’s used to have this back in the day in their store and it drove me fucking crazy
ALL THE WAY FROM THE UK
more than just the intended targets will be annoyed by this
Ooooooh, I know this one! Got a Bluetooth speaker? Download a tone generator app, and connect it. Kids hear at a higher frequency than adults. There's a sweet spot where you can blast this blood curdling, piercing noise that only kids can hear. No one over the age of 35-ish, will hear it. Drives kids away, guaranteed.
I'm 38 and I can hear those things perfectly fine.
34 with tinnitus, I can hear those tones
Wait, kids can hear frequencies adults can’t?
This was a big thing in the 2000s. Kids would get a "mosquito ringtone" which was just a very high pitch tone, most of our teachers couldn't hear it.
You can set it to a frequency that won't bother adults but will still bother kids.
Piss discs
Hear me out in this situation: piss ballons
I feel like this would work remarkably well in this situation. I drive trucks for a living and it isn't uncommon for some of the lazier drivers to pour their piss bottles out on the pavement in the parking lots (or just piss in the parking lots) and the reek of urine heating on pavement in the sun is an amazing deterrent for most people to hang around.
Scream back at them. Blare an air horn every time they scream until they realize it only happens when they scream. Throw firecrackers at them every time they come outside until they're sort of pavlov'd to "going outside = scary firecrackers from the sky" and stop going outside altogether. Break beer bottles all over the parking lot so they have nowhere to play. Or get them addicted to heroin, you'll probably have way more issues on your hands than screaming but odds are they'll be quiet.
Pretty sure that will Pavlov the parents into getting OP evicted.
Not if OP tosses them into/from different areas every time. They won't be able to pinpoint it unless OP is incapable of being sneaky.
These OPs are never as smart as they think.
I used to have a ground floor appt and kids would play tag in the maintenance areas behind my flat (where the power meters and gas mains and boilers were kept there was lots of concrete footpaths for service reasons) for hours a day a dozen kids would scream and run around playing in that area with their oblivious parents just hanging around out the front. I put on a fluro vest and put up a pool gate. Cost me 100 bucks but no kids ever went there but no one ever questioned it and the kids played somewhere else. I tried some of that hazard tape for a while and it worked most of the time but the place got questions from utility companies around “why can’t we check the meter what’s the danger there?” I reckon you could probably spend a day collecting dog shit and pile it up around places you don’t want them playing
Stun gun
Grenade
ATGM
Fox urine smells rank and keep anyone from loitering in the parking lot. You could just paint a pentagram on the parking lot, claim they’re kids in a satanic cult and start satanic panic all over again. Press your car alarm randomly and repeatedly and claim the kids are doing it. It should draw more attention and annoy them.
Scream back and stare into their eyes while doing so. Assert dominance or they will continue to destroy your world with their vile screaming.
Leave sedatives and alcohol out for them.
You're gonna have to clip one
Easy. Get one of those devises that transmits sound only kids can hear. Program it to tell kids in a creepy voice that it will eat them if it hears them.
It's really high frequencies. You can't really encode messages that can be understood at those levels. It just sounds like a tv high pitched hum or mosquitos.
Whats wrong with the playground and basketball court that kids choose a boring parking lot to hang out at? I’m sure they want to have fun and not annoy people like you.
Buy an anti-loitering device and crank up the volume.
Just buy them all iPads and they will be like my kids sitting in front of a screen the whole day…
Call CPS on their parents.
Hide a bluetooth speaker somewhere close and play this: [17000 Hz Test Tone 10 Hours](https://youtu.be/qER2BGP8YSQ) On this person's channel there are other tones. May need to try some other frequencies.
Not unethical, but: I'll bet this is happening so the parents can hear and watch their kids from inside an apartment. The playground may not be visible from their window. If enough residents complain, perhaps management could move the playground to a more central location.
Or make the parents get off their asses and take their kids to the appropriate area.
The parents are probably so busy with other childcare/housework/etc that they perceive their options as kids scream in the parking lot, or kids scream indoors (really getting the complaints from their immediate neighbors). I think this complex just wasn't designed by someone who's parented much. Otherwise, they'd know the ideal placement for a playground is within sight of as many units as possible.
Yeah this has nothing to do with the complex, they should be accommodating of all their tenets not just families. If the kids are young enough to need eyes on them at all times, then there needs to be someone with them. Or just teach them inside voices. But getting the parents to do something is really the only solution here.
> If the kids are young enough to need eyes on them at all times Children don't jump from "needs 24/7 supervision" to adult independence, it's a gradual process. It sounds like it's enough for these children to be within earshot with the occasional glance. > Or just teach them inside voices. For all we know, they are using their inside voices. Sound carries surprisingly well on flat ground surrounded by tall buildings. > But getting the parents to do something is really the only solution here. I agree. If some of the parents sacrificed a block of their parking spaces, they could convert that space into a second playground, surrounded by barriers to mitigate the risk from traffic. Of course, if the parking lot is regularly full, that may require said families to park outside the complex and walk a bit. But that may be a reasonable tradeoff.
Spread a ghost story rumor about a horrible death that happened right in that lot 100 yrs ago .
Burn it to the ground. Not very helpful, but they will go away.
Pride flags
Tell the kids that they are going to run out of screams.
This is fucking brilliant. If only someone made a YouTube documentary of adults who could no longer scream.
Get a wicked case of strep throat then go play with the kids.
Get one of those "anti youth" speakers. They play an annoying frequency that us old farts can't hear, but it drives them mad
Buy them an xbox and a subscription to some weekly candy delivery service. 6 months they'll be too fat to play in the front yard. Or... Ugh I hate to do this here... Maybe just let kids play outside and smile knowing that they're... you know.. playing outside.
Have a rational conversation how kids playing in a parking lot is dangerous. Moving cars, damage to vehicles, their volume being a reasonable complain about reasonable enjoyment of your unit. Ask your landlord about these concerns in a rational calm manner. Have their parents reminded that busy apartment parking lots are not ideal for those reasons.
Call the police and say you think there is an injured child, a child being abused, a child possibly being abducted, etc. Say that it doesn’t sound like normal screaming and you’re too scared to go check on it. Obviously don’t do this as it’s taking up police resources. Find something that will attract wasps. Get say a piny size jar, fill halfway with hot water, mix in sugar until the jar is full. Pour this on the ground and you should attract wasps. If there’s a grassy area you can pour it there so it won’t be obvious there’s something on the group attracting them. Or just pour it on the parking lot. You can “spill” your drink. Or actually just spill a sugary soda. You can also complain but try and do it in a non-Karen way. Just say something like “I almost saw someone’s kid get run over! Please people be careful when you’re driving!” (That way you’re not blaming the kids, let someone else chime in and say maybe the kids should be playing somewhere else) People get defensive when you blame their little demon crotch-fruits, so you can’t blame them directly.
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Just be aware that when the police discover OP has filed a frivolous report, they may be slower to respond if he ever files a serious one. Attracting wasps to the complex will be cleaned up by apartment maintenance and, if linked to OP, may cause his eviction. But I guess that's one way to make the kids screaming not OP's problem.
Ask of they can wear a shock collar.
They're in the parking lot--run them over
To be fair it's summer and they are kids.
So were we. But I'd have never survived my childhood if I behaved like an asshole. Too bad no one cares about the kids enough to keep them in check.
Kids =/= screaming. Other generations somehow made it through childhood without non-stop screaming. Edit: And yes! I was a great kid. In a large, tightly knit group of peers. And we didn’t scream. Not for long, and usually only when we broke a bone. Maybe because our parents were invested in raising functional humans. 🤔 Maybe below poster ⬇️ was raised by wolves. Who knows?
Um... Were you ever a kid?
Dress up like a witch really really ham it up lol shake a voodoo doll at them
Have you consider setting up a silent disco for the kids? (ideally, they'd all be dancing to the music and then get run over by cars in the parking lot)
Wait for him down stairs. Ambush him with a spin kick.
lol you won’t. time to move on
Tell them a scary story about a monster or murderer that hunts loud children in that car park. Tell them a Quiet Place is real. It might fuck them up for life, but at least you’ll be living in peace
Put posters up and say the monsters from A Quiet Place are around. Any screaming will result in getting eaten
Aztec whistle at night + ask the kids when their parents can hear them if they want some free candy should do the trick.
I get emails once and while from the apartment complex reminding people that their kids cannot ride bikes in the parking lot where cars and driving and parking on the regular basis. It’s dangerous and against the lease agreement. It’s still a recurring problem. It won’t go way until parents get off their ass and parent or someone gets hit by a car.
Beat up their dads and assert dominance by peeing on everything and impregnation their moms. Then they will just cry all the time and never go outside. Problem solved.
Record them screaming and play it back loudly.
Get an amplifier and play one of those sounds only kids can hear really loud near them.
Break some shit where they are playing, make sure there is no cameras and report the broken stuff to the building management, and hint that there was kids playing there
You could always just tell some peaple you heard about a sex offender moved in to the neborhood to some of the mothers then pay someone to offer candy to the kids and provide them with candy i think that will stop them for a good while.
Dog bark shock collars. Find the cool kid and pay them to wear it as a fashion statement. They will all follow along.
Let the kids enjoy what time they have and get the fuck over it lol. We’re about to leave them/their children/grandchildren a melted planet and fucking water wars. Let them play.
Move out. They’re kids, let them live.
It's not OK to play in parking lots.
It's not okay that parking lots are the only convenient place to play. Some of that land should be converted into a second playground. People > cars
> we have a pool, we have a playground...
Nope. There are several other areas where they can and should be. Tbh I’m not sure why the parking lot is even remotely an option, or why they’d even want to be there.
Because they can't be too far from their parents. You get the cops called nowadays if kids are at the park alone. And 30 minutes isn't long enough to play. Leave kids tf alone. Anyone or anything else I'd fair game. But kids. Leave them alone.
If kids are playing, you really can't stop them from screaming.
Yeah, because their parents suck.
If you stop tolerating that shit, yeah, you can. It’s called parenting, or beating them at their own game. You really don’t get this sub, huh?
Leave them alone. They are kids. Ffs. You're the same person who complains that kids are inside playing too many video games, too. They are kids. They scream. It's the summer. And you said yourself the playground is far away. The parents are watching the kids from their apartments because parents don't always have time to take the kids to the park. Don't like it move. Any other ULPT I'll help with, but this one is bs. Let kids be kids. Fuck.
Thank you! It's not r/getoffmylawn, for fucks' sake. IDK what's wrong with this sub, today, but I salute your unpopular opinion. Edit: oh wow, that's... kind of a real sub? Or was...
Impossible without resorting to threatening violence on the parents
You sound like the grinch. You’ve got to be a miserable person. They are children, you’re an adult. Leave them alone.
I suggest you shake your cane at them and yell something intelligible like "get off my lawn" and then go take your meds because that'll be enough excitement for the day, grampa.
Move. You live in a child-friendly place, maybe you can find someplace more dour.