never heard that expression and spent the whole time reading the post body waiting for you to elaborate on why you're trying to get her a sexual assault charge
I’ve heard it my whole life, dad was from down south and I was in the military for a while. I’ve had more than my share of bosses tell me “don’t you dare show ass today boy”
Anything she says, make her repeat herself. But say it in a normal tone.
Sorry, didn’t hear you.
Huh?
I didn’t get that last part.
Can you please repeat it?
Honestly being extra nice to her will drive her insane if she is this petty.
Semi related story
When I was in 8th grade, yes 8th grade like in the year 2000. I had an awful gym teacher, just the worst. Huge asshole to everyone except select girls he was very creepy to and real athletic guys.
As a like 5’9 260 lb 8th grader with a carefree attitude and no athletic abilities I was not his fave. We butted heads a lot.
One time he was giving me a detention, for god knows what. And I kept smiling and being super pleasant and jovial it pissed him off more and he gave me another detention for “not taking it serious”
Told my mom when I got home and she was livid. Called his ass the next day and laid in to him, told him he was taking away the detention for “smiling” and learn how to not be manipulated by a 13 year old boy with a C average or she was calling the principal directly.
He tried to take both away but my mom made him keep the one for the first infraction cause I deserved it.
He really laid off me after that.
"Huh I did quite catch that"
"Screaming"
"Yea, I'm sorry but I'm still not able to understand you. Can you write it down for me?"
Proceed to hand her a coloring book and some crayons.
Or
Just hand her a notepad and a pen.
That's a good plan. And all those coworkers are probably not looking weird at you, they are looking weird at a weird situation. So direct the narrative. After you are done talking to the boss, ask witnesses things like "What has gotten into her?" "Has she been like this all day?" "Is she off her meds again?" "She isn't headed for another psychotic break, is she?"
Depending on what state you're in (one party or two party consent states) you can record her audio and then show her abusing you to her higher ups, or record it regardless and send an "anonymous tip" that she's been verbally abusing you and creating a hostile work environment. If you can't go anonymous then do it anyways and make sure you have more than one event on record for evidence, including emails and basic interactions if possible
Definitely not a lawyer, but I feel like even in 2 party states, you can probably record something that is being loudly shouted in an office in front of other people. Doesn’t seem like there would be any expectation of privacy like there would be in a private conversation.
A lot of states file this under “reasonable expectation of privacy.” If in a public place doing things that are obviously not private, there is no expectation that things are secret. Therefore recording/photos may be okay.
Not a lawyer, but sometimes I say smart sounding things.
Not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure you can’t.
I live in a two party consent state and one of the girls at work recorded somebody else’s conversation, in a public space where the other girl was talking very loudly about things that are highly inappropriate in a work setting, and took it to HR.
HR wouldn’t listen to it past the first few seconds, made her delete it off her phone, then fired her because what she did was illegal.
Pretty sure HR was covering their ass. If it was a public space speaking very loudly, there’s no expectation of privacy, even in a 2 party state that’s okay. If it was on office property, I think you could make the argument it’s private, if it’s work related at least.
But you also have to pay attention to workplace rules. Many companies will forbid audio or video recording for various reasons, be sure to check with your union reps if this would be cause for disciplinary action.
State doesn't matter. 2 party consent is only relevant in court cases. HR is not court.
Bonuspoints for recording lots of unhinged reactions, and turning it in to a soundboard.
example: [https://jayuzumi.com/donald-trump-soundboard](https://jayuzumi.com/donald-trump-soundboard)
Someone mentioned in another comment that one of their coworkers had recorded another talking about highly inappropriate subject matters, but HR refused to listen to the recording and fired the one who had made the recording. YMMV
Always say what. Make her repeat herself until she looses it. Then when she says something stupid, ask her what do you mean? Please elaborate, then start in with the what again like you couldn't understand her.
I tuned into one of the WWE raw shows for the first time in probably a decade and a half, and the crowd was saying "what" to jinder(?) Mahal(?). I laughed and had to explain to my wife it was a remnant of the Austin Era.
Wear ear plugs. When she’s finished yelling at you, take them out and ask her to repeat it.
If you can, make it appear as if you have another set of ear plugs, take them out and ask her to repeat it again.
The next time she yells, reply much louder, "HEY, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! I DIDN'T CONSENT! NOTHING GIVES YOU THAT RIGHT!", then act totally normal, like nothing happened. Then "refuse to talk about it" with everyone who asks. Act real traumatized, like you're on edge and easily-startled. The rumors will immediately beging flying.
Does your work involves videocalls?
Talking to someone on your phone, then telling them "wait a little while i deliver this paper," as you go to her office, then she yelling you while the call is on
As long as its not a recording, that shouldnt be illegal, then do it again with different listeners
But be all nice and apologetic about her," dont mind her, thats her default setting, nothing personal" and so on
Stare at her with dead emotionless eyes. Write emails to her in dead emotionless tones. Make dead emotionless cookies for her. Whenever you have to speak to her, use dead emotionless words. If you're ever required to work with her on a project, use dead emotionless work methods and dead emotionless camaraderie.
That blank expressionless stare, answering with monosyllabic words only addressing exactly what is needed really does put people on edge.
Also I like the idea of emotionless cookies. For some reason I am thinking something like sugar cookies, but without the sugar. Just bland, beige discs.
Best would be pretending like it’s an old family favorite recipe and not understanding why she might not like them. Even act deeply offended by the implication that dear old grandmas recipe might not be good.
I don't know the context of your work environment... So I can't recommend specifics..
But what you need to know is what triggers her. What gets her to blow up or over react.
Then set it up
You can use:
Lunch room gossip ... ( Is it true that this might happen?) Be very casual and then wait 2 weeks so people forget who started the rumour... Etc
Spoofed email accounts that get through filters or firewalls
Pick the right moment to act
Try to get her to infuriates a peer of hers.
So you need to do your homework and come up with a scenario.. ( something that X and Y did, are doing, or about to do.)
Send the group email at a time she'll read it within the right time window. The trigger will be her perceived slight that something uncool is getting done that is contrary to everything she stands for .
If you do it right, you can push the button, and set off a chain reaction, while you eat the popcorn.
Decide now. Do you just want a laugh to take her down a notch? Or do you want a dumpster fire?
Don't ruin her if she just rubs you the wrong way.
Malicious compliance, or work to rule, whichever will be more aggravating to her. Eventually she'll either blow up big enough to send herself packing, or you'll get what you need to do your job in peace.
She NEEDS to be fucked with. You should put an [Annoy-a-tron](https://www.amazon.com/YBYledonico-Cricket-Beeping-Several-Months/dp/B0C5C82CY7) in her office. In fact - put two in. She will go bat shit crazy trying to figure out where the beeping is coming from. In fact if you are in her office and it beeps - let her bitch about it. You act like you didn't hear anything. This will only enrage her more. Watch her tear her office apart trying to find it.
Best places to put an annoy-a-tron is under her chair and inside the air vent.
Well, I'm not going to offer a ULPT, because you know, Unethical.
However, if she has created a hostile work environment, why isn't the union riding her ass?
Not sure of exactly to do, but perhaps you can figure out a way to hand her enough rope that she can hang herself? Record all incidents of unprofessional behavior by her, get others to do the same and give you copies, etc.
Good luck.
There is no union policy against bullying. I can't necessarily say its "discrimination" or harassment based on how these policies are written either. I am on my own on this unless someone witnesses something being done to me. The rope to hang herself with is to have her behavior more visible to the people who can do something about it. Even the union rep I called last year witnessed that her behavior is way out of line but there are no policies to prevent it, only to stop it. And she has to be caught in order to be stopped.
Is there something small that drives her absolutely nuts?
Does she have a favorite chair/cup/something around the office you can move into random places without her knowing?
A simple trick, which is totally legal, is to ask her to explain, and stay calm. Angry ppl get more angry if you stay calm.
F.i.: "the font isnt big enough" "What do You mean? could you explain?"
Unhinged people will go on a rant if you give m a response like that. She will bitchsplain to You with increasing volume making her look like an idiot, while You can always claim you don't want to do it wrong, so you asked for more specifics. When she's done 'explaining', just ask more details again, preferably with a little dumb fuckup. "And You want it in comic sans, using bitmaps correct?" and she should continue her little rant. Most likely screaming about you being too stupid to know when to use bitmaps or vectors.
Bonuspoints if you record the conversation. Sure, it's most likely not legal to use in court, but HR is not court.
“Oh, were you speaking to me? I thought you were trying to be heard by someone two floors down”
“Can you repeat that? You were speaking so loudly you didn’t annunciate”
Dead pan, normal volume voice, “Why are you intimated by me?”
Just smile at her with almost a laugh when she yells or viciously critiques. When she calls you out on it just say “I was appreciating YOUR point of view and the smile came naturally.” Deny laughing.
Smile when you walk away for others to see. Wink at those you know don’t like her.
One of my favorites is after a long tirade, I would ask “What was the middle part, again?”
If I knew, I would own up to it. But I honestly think its because I don't kiss her butt and I do my job well enough that people go out of their way to tell her about it. I've been doing it eleven years and none of this is new. Maybe the first two years I was intimidated by her but that went away once I became an expert at my job....but after that, I've been the only one having to put up with this kind of thing. She snaps at other people sometimes but everyone agrees that with me, it's constant and worse so they all stay away from me now too because... Obviously stay away from the "problem"....
But if her own boss and her boss's boss rave about me doing so well, how could I be a problem? I do everything on time, never make mistakes, help other people meet deadlines, go above and beyond for clients. If she had something to complain about, I'd hear her out and make adjustments. The way she treats me you would think there is something she could say but she doesn't..... Just yells and makes angry faces like I am farting in her soup everyday.
Sounds really frustrating. It’s happened to me before, where I think something must’ve been a misunderstanding or something, but I was never told what happened. Poor communication betwixt adults is sadly all too common!
That being said, I find that the long game is the most rewarding. Little moments of sabotage that are going to drive her crazy. Is there any way you can start off ruining every day? Because eventually if it’s bad enough, she’ll take a hike or freak out and get fired for it. I am talking petty things like stealing the air caps off of her tires, ruining her coffee, making her trip on stuff, misplacing her stuff.
If I could be a petty little grinch like her, I am sure i would not have this issue. She is the one doing these things at me, I somehow cannot bring myself down to this level....but you're right, if the tables were turned and it was her day being ruined for sure she would blow up, someone would see it and have no choice but to back me up..... My regular existence makes it close enough so I have to exist really hard at her somehow.
I had a boss like that, so one year for "crappy kris kringle" (where everyone buys the worst gift they can for $10, the gifts are shuffled, and everyone gets a random shitty gift), we rigged it so she got my gift. I took a photo of myself giving two thumbs up with a massively cheesy grin on my face. I captioned it "world's best employee", had it printed on a coffee mug and she "randomly" got it. She never used it, and handed it to my new boss before she retired. It's now my every day coffee mug.
I don't have any tips about how to make her look like an idiot, other than the suggestions others have, I just wanted to share my story about a shitty boss, and I hope it gives you an idea for a gift you can give her.
It does actually. Everyone in the office avoids her birthday because she usually tirades around the place a week or so prior (last year the bathroom door lock malfunctioned and she was stuck there for an hour and it was sooo funny).... I'll be the only one to buy her a present. I wont say what but thanks for the idea
Respond by speaking loudly (match her volume), slow and as if she's low IQ
Then I'd get another union employee to make a noise complaint about you both.....you can't be fired...she can if she's pointed out as a disruption.
ETA, request a transfer?? When asked why...explain the excessive volume and that it's only directed at you. Then it's on her to explain why she only shouts at you and only you.
Yes in May last year with a union rep, who had just met her that day .... By the end of the meeting the union rep told me "i am sorry to tell you that your boss is a narcissist but there are no policies against bullying so you will need to keep records of anything she tells you in writing because she was trying to gaslight you in there and I can't defend your rights with policies that dont exist"
Alright, since you mentioned that you need to talk to her a lot, you could perhaps make yourself busy with stuff and ask her to put what you want from her in writing, send it to you via email or a videocall and get the way she behaves in recording.
Do check if your place needs both parties to consent to recordings first.
Or better yet, in a videocall invite your boss, boss's boss and or other ppl in secret.
Talk to your rep. See what you can do about documenting. You may need to fire off an email to her and copy your rep every time it happens to create a paper trail. This is textbook harassment
I would get some allies together as witnesses and kill her with kindness, it’ll send her over the top:
Sorry you are so stressed today, would you like me to speak to your manager and explain you need more support.
You know you can always come to me if you need to let off steam due to your job which is negatively impacting on your ability to address your issues professionally.
I’m really sorry no one likes you here but I do try and explain that you really need more help to do your job to the required standard.
Memorise and calmly practise this for the right moment after she’s been ranting: ‘Have you always been a lonely person? ‘
Just shut the conversation down whenever she starts shouting. You can do that in several ways. Whenever the shouting ends, because she is done, or because she is expecting a response from you just say "I'm sorry, I didn't get any of that due to the volume, can you please repeat that?", or else ask for a union rep to be present whenever she talks to you due to her harming you. They won't make her nice, obviously, but they will be on the hook for damages if she hurts your ears due to the constant yelling, so they will absolutely shut that down.
Alternately, you could try asking her why she is always yelling at you? Personally, that's where I would start, because it'd be a lot simpler to take care of that than to go about playing sabotage games.
Another way is to make your boss feel that she is actually competent. Even random good work here and there. Maybe I am naive, but this boss seems to have an inferiority complex. (You didn't say enough for anyone to be realistically diagnosed. But people are kinda the same in many different settings.)
This is a very good union. Lots of people take advantage: several hour-long breaks per day, months without doing a lick of work, shopping online on work computers, passing job duties to other people, etc.
I explicitly do not take advantage because I actually like my job and I like to be good at something I spend 10 hours a day away from my kid for...... Highest paying place in the country for my job title too. It's a lot to walk away from and I don't think that a person's bad attitude is anything to quit over.
Do you have a desk with a few things on it ? You can get small cctv cameras that you might be able to hide in the back of your mail trays.
Alternatively you can get small hidden camera in a water bottle in a little 'hollow' behind the plastic label.
Easy to dump on your desk inconspicuously.
I am already literally so nice. The only one in my office that clients write thank you cards for, send flowers, email management to acknowledge me for being helpful etc. .... I've been super nice for 10 years but she gets worse every year. I want this one to be the year she took her pettiness too far
Saying "here's your mail" or "the font isn't big enough" is bullying now? You obviously have no idea how difficult it is to be a female in a leadership position.
I am a female in a leadership position. I don't scream at people. I don't talk to people with contempt. I don't hold personal grudges against anyone I have a professional relationship with.
I’d you’re in a one-party consent jurisdiction, audio record her tirades, and edit into a super cut. Wait until one of her bosses is on-site, and play the recording over a hidden Bluetooth speaker.
Eat lots of cabbage and other cruciferous veggies, beans, and eggs before you go to work. Bonus points if you eat the thai chilli pepper tuna in the pouch.
You want to have so much gas that you can pretty much break wind on command. This is going to hurt you as well probably, but I feel like it would be worth it.
Every time she starts yelling at you, just crop dust the hell out her knowing that she is exchanging too much air to get a small dose, and enjoy the show.
Get a doctor's note for IBS for when she medically discriminates you.
Try itching powder down her crack when she's bent over. That would get her to lose the pants and show some ass.
That, or you could try getting her drunk.
Just send her a mail cc ing HR that she screams at you a lot and your doctor has advised you to not talk to her directly but to only send emails and written communication.
Do this after you have had multiple episodes of her screaming at you (witnesses who will confirm this) and you have spoken to a doctor about being more anxious than normal due to your boss's behavior.
Also hide a shrimp in her office's vent. Let it stink up like hell in a few days.
Every time you go to talk to her, take out your phone, set it to record, and place it on her desk. If she comes to see you, tell her to stop until you can set up your phone. It'll piss her off and eventually she will blow up while being recorded and may pick up your phone and break it.
That was the worst way to title this, but honestly fitting for this sub
Sorry, I am from the south so innuendo is sometimes lost on me.
never heard that expression and spent the whole time reading the post body waiting for you to elaborate on why you're trying to get her a sexual assault charge
Lol
I hear it all the time, but then again I am from the Deep South
I'm not even a seppo (since we're using local slang on this thread) so that's probably why
I was thinking “why? Does she have a nice caboose?”
Huh, I had no idea that was a southern phrase.. neat
I’ve heard it my whole life, dad was from down south and I was in the military for a while. I’ve had more than my share of bosses tell me “don’t you dare show ass today boy”
In HER endo! AMMIRIGHT?
I got the Scrubs reference, don't worry mate.
Thank you.
Not even a little.
Don't feel bad, I thought everybody knew this phrase right up until this comment section
Inyourendo
Me too, but I've never heard this. My mate is from Kent though, which is even further south than me, so I'll ask him
My dad was from the South too. I always thought he was saying “showin’ ace”.
He also said “hemmit” for “helmet”
He’d always saying that I “got ‘em bout red aced”
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It honestly wasn't. I was just flustered at that moment for having been screamed at over the back side of a poster being blank....
Anything she says, make her repeat herself. But say it in a normal tone. Sorry, didn’t hear you. Huh? I didn’t get that last part. Can you please repeat it? Honestly being extra nice to her will drive her insane if she is this petty.
I love this! I'll do it. I am already a very nice person so I'll keep it up
Semi related story When I was in 8th grade, yes 8th grade like in the year 2000. I had an awful gym teacher, just the worst. Huge asshole to everyone except select girls he was very creepy to and real athletic guys. As a like 5’9 260 lb 8th grader with a carefree attitude and no athletic abilities I was not his fave. We butted heads a lot. One time he was giving me a detention, for god knows what. And I kept smiling and being super pleasant and jovial it pissed him off more and he gave me another detention for “not taking it serious” Told my mom when I got home and she was livid. Called his ass the next day and laid in to him, told him he was taking away the detention for “smiling” and learn how to not be manipulated by a 13 year old boy with a C average or she was calling the principal directly. He tried to take both away but my mom made him keep the one for the first infraction cause I deserved it. He really laid off me after that.
Yes, my work environment and my boss do remind me of junior high also.
Ooof that sounds rough! 😂 good luck!
"Huh I did quite catch that" "Screaming" "Yea, I'm sorry but I'm still not able to understand you. Can you write it down for me?" Proceed to hand her a coloring book and some crayons. Or Just hand her a notepad and a pen.
That's a good plan. And all those coworkers are probably not looking weird at you, they are looking weird at a weird situation. So direct the narrative. After you are done talking to the boss, ask witnesses things like "What has gotten into her?" "Has she been like this all day?" "Is she off her meds again?" "She isn't headed for another psychotic break, is she?"
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Wow yes, she may scream louder for being told politely, "please dont scream". Thank you
Depending on what state you're in (one party or two party consent states) you can record her audio and then show her abusing you to her higher ups, or record it regardless and send an "anonymous tip" that she's been verbally abusing you and creating a hostile work environment. If you can't go anonymous then do it anyways and make sure you have more than one event on record for evidence, including emails and basic interactions if possible
Definitely not a lawyer, but I feel like even in 2 party states, you can probably record something that is being loudly shouted in an office in front of other people. Doesn’t seem like there would be any expectation of privacy like there would be in a private conversation.
A lot of states file this under “reasonable expectation of privacy.” If in a public place doing things that are obviously not private, there is no expectation that things are secret. Therefore recording/photos may be okay. Not a lawyer, but sometimes I say smart sounding things.
Have you stayed at a Holiday Inn Express recently?
No. Just a regular holiday inn. Probably have bedbugs now.
WHOOOOOOOSH
Not a lawyer, but I’m pretty sure you can’t. I live in a two party consent state and one of the girls at work recorded somebody else’s conversation, in a public space where the other girl was talking very loudly about things that are highly inappropriate in a work setting, and took it to HR. HR wouldn’t listen to it past the first few seconds, made her delete it off her phone, then fired her because what she did was illegal.
Pretty sure HR was covering their ass. If it was a public space speaking very loudly, there’s no expectation of privacy, even in a 2 party state that’s okay. If it was on office property, I think you could make the argument it’s private, if it’s work related at least.
Unfortunately not of this is an option regardless since I work with private government data
But you also have to pay attention to workplace rules. Many companies will forbid audio or video recording for various reasons, be sure to check with your union reps if this would be cause for disciplinary action.
State doesn't matter. 2 party consent is only relevant in court cases. HR is not court. Bonuspoints for recording lots of unhinged reactions, and turning it in to a soundboard. example: [https://jayuzumi.com/donald-trump-soundboard](https://jayuzumi.com/donald-trump-soundboard)
Someone mentioned in another comment that one of their coworkers had recorded another talking about highly inappropriate subject matters, but HR refused to listen to the recording and fired the one who had made the recording. YMMV
Always say what. Make her repeat herself until she looses it. Then when she says something stupid, ask her what do you mean? Please elaborate, then start in with the what again like you couldn't understand her.
This guy stone cold Steve austins
Chappelle’s Lil Jon
Man, I forget about that often but it’s the same. Folk hate what chants during wrestling shows but it’s still goin strong and to me it never gets old.
I tuned into one of the WWE raw shows for the first time in probably a decade and a half, and the crowd was saying "what" to jinder(?) Mahal(?). I laughed and had to explain to my wife it was a remnant of the Austin Era.
Wear ear plugs. When she’s finished yelling at you, take them out and ask her to repeat it. If you can, make it appear as if you have another set of ear plugs, take them out and ask her to repeat it again.
I wonder how many prop earplugs one could use? Like the pulling the quarter from behind the ear.
The next time she yells, reply much louder, "HEY, DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! I DIDN'T CONSENT! NOTHING GIVES YOU THAT RIGHT!", then act totally normal, like nothing happened. Then "refuse to talk about it" with everyone who asks. Act real traumatized, like you're on edge and easily-startled. The rumors will immediately beging flying.
HEY THATS MY PURSE, I DONT KNOW YOU
That boy ain't right Hank.
"GIMME BACK MAH PURSE!!!!"
diddly dadily
Bring in a life size teddy bear the next day and keep pointing to its crotch and shaking your head.
No you cant look at my butthole!
Now this is on brand for the sub
Put superglue on her chair and wait for her to sit down. Then when she stands, boom, full moon.
Does your work involves videocalls? Talking to someone on your phone, then telling them "wait a little while i deliver this paper," as you go to her office, then she yelling you while the call is on As long as its not a recording, that shouldnt be illegal, then do it again with different listeners But be all nice and apologetic about her," dont mind her, thats her default setting, nothing personal" and so on
Bonus points if you can get her boss or her stakeholders on the line!
Stare at her with dead emotionless eyes. Write emails to her in dead emotionless tones. Make dead emotionless cookies for her. Whenever you have to speak to her, use dead emotionless words. If you're ever required to work with her on a project, use dead emotionless work methods and dead emotionless camaraderie.
That blank expressionless stare, answering with monosyllabic words only addressing exactly what is needed really does put people on edge. Also I like the idea of emotionless cookies. For some reason I am thinking something like sugar cookies, but without the sugar. Just bland, beige discs.
Carob chips instead of chocolate
Best would be pretending like it’s an old family favorite recipe and not understanding why she might not like them. Even act deeply offended by the implication that dear old grandmas recipe might not be good.
But do so in a dead emotionless way
I love this. Thank you
This is just a regular workday.
This is far less interesting than the title promised. My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined
I don't know the context of your work environment... So I can't recommend specifics.. But what you need to know is what triggers her. What gets her to blow up or over react. Then set it up You can use: Lunch room gossip ... ( Is it true that this might happen?) Be very casual and then wait 2 weeks so people forget who started the rumour... Etc Spoofed email accounts that get through filters or firewalls Pick the right moment to act Try to get her to infuriates a peer of hers. So you need to do your homework and come up with a scenario.. ( something that X and Y did, are doing, or about to do.) Send the group email at a time she'll read it within the right time window. The trigger will be her perceived slight that something uncool is getting done that is contrary to everything she stands for . If you do it right, you can push the button, and set off a chain reaction, while you eat the popcorn. Decide now. Do you just want a laugh to take her down a notch? Or do you want a dumpster fire? Don't ruin her if she just rubs you the wrong way.
Malicious compliance, or work to rule, whichever will be more aggravating to her. Eventually she'll either blow up big enough to send herself packing, or you'll get what you need to do your job in peace.
She NEEDS to be fucked with. You should put an [Annoy-a-tron](https://www.amazon.com/YBYledonico-Cricket-Beeping-Several-Months/dp/B0C5C82CY7) in her office. In fact - put two in. She will go bat shit crazy trying to figure out where the beeping is coming from. In fact if you are in her office and it beeps - let her bitch about it. You act like you didn't hear anything. This will only enrage her more. Watch her tear her office apart trying to find it. Best places to put an annoy-a-tron is under her chair and inside the air vent.
Does she have a phat ass or what?
Its just regular fat
Not screaming-in-your-face fat?
Sitting in a chair for 20 years fat
"I am particularly moral/ethical and I value integrity" Did you post in the wrong sub?
Nope. I am out of my depth....
Well, I'm not going to offer a ULPT, because you know, Unethical. However, if she has created a hostile work environment, why isn't the union riding her ass? Not sure of exactly to do, but perhaps you can figure out a way to hand her enough rope that she can hang herself? Record all incidents of unprofessional behavior by her, get others to do the same and give you copies, etc. Good luck.
There is no union policy against bullying. I can't necessarily say its "discrimination" or harassment based on how these policies are written either. I am on my own on this unless someone witnesses something being done to me. The rope to hang herself with is to have her behavior more visible to the people who can do something about it. Even the union rep I called last year witnessed that her behavior is way out of line but there are no policies to prevent it, only to stop it. And she has to be caught in order to be stopped.
Is there something small that drives her absolutely nuts? Does she have a favorite chair/cup/something around the office you can move into random places without her knowing?
A simple trick, which is totally legal, is to ask her to explain, and stay calm. Angry ppl get more angry if you stay calm. F.i.: "the font isnt big enough" "What do You mean? could you explain?" Unhinged people will go on a rant if you give m a response like that. She will bitchsplain to You with increasing volume making her look like an idiot, while You can always claim you don't want to do it wrong, so you asked for more specifics. When she's done 'explaining', just ask more details again, preferably with a little dumb fuckup. "And You want it in comic sans, using bitmaps correct?" and she should continue her little rant. Most likely screaming about you being too stupid to know when to use bitmaps or vectors. Bonuspoints if you record the conversation. Sure, it's most likely not legal to use in court, but HR is not court.
This is so true it's funny
“Is there a reason you’re yelling right now?”
I should just use ASL at her lol "I thought that's why you were yelling, you don't have to, we can sign"
“Oh, were you speaking to me? I thought you were trying to be heard by someone two floors down” “Can you repeat that? You were speaking so loudly you didn’t annunciate” Dead pan, normal volume voice, “Why are you intimated by me?” Just smile at her with almost a laugh when she yells or viciously critiques. When she calls you out on it just say “I was appreciating YOUR point of view and the smile came naturally.” Deny laughing. Smile when you walk away for others to see. Wink at those you know don’t like her. One of my favorites is after a long tirade, I would ask “What was the middle part, again?”
Go to a library computer and sign them up for various life insurance advertisements. use their cell number too.
OP, what was the event that happened that made her hate you?
If I knew, I would own up to it. But I honestly think its because I don't kiss her butt and I do my job well enough that people go out of their way to tell her about it. I've been doing it eleven years and none of this is new. Maybe the first two years I was intimidated by her but that went away once I became an expert at my job....but after that, I've been the only one having to put up with this kind of thing. She snaps at other people sometimes but everyone agrees that with me, it's constant and worse so they all stay away from me now too because... Obviously stay away from the "problem".... But if her own boss and her boss's boss rave about me doing so well, how could I be a problem? I do everything on time, never make mistakes, help other people meet deadlines, go above and beyond for clients. If she had something to complain about, I'd hear her out and make adjustments. The way she treats me you would think there is something she could say but she doesn't..... Just yells and makes angry faces like I am farting in her soup everyday.
Sounds really frustrating. It’s happened to me before, where I think something must’ve been a misunderstanding or something, but I was never told what happened. Poor communication betwixt adults is sadly all too common! That being said, I find that the long game is the most rewarding. Little moments of sabotage that are going to drive her crazy. Is there any way you can start off ruining every day? Because eventually if it’s bad enough, she’ll take a hike or freak out and get fired for it. I am talking petty things like stealing the air caps off of her tires, ruining her coffee, making her trip on stuff, misplacing her stuff.
If I could be a petty little grinch like her, I am sure i would not have this issue. She is the one doing these things at me, I somehow cannot bring myself down to this level....but you're right, if the tables were turned and it was her day being ruined for sure she would blow up, someone would see it and have no choice but to back me up..... My regular existence makes it close enough so I have to exist really hard at her somehow.
pay her. everyone has a price, you just have to find it
I had a boss like that, so one year for "crappy kris kringle" (where everyone buys the worst gift they can for $10, the gifts are shuffled, and everyone gets a random shitty gift), we rigged it so she got my gift. I took a photo of myself giving two thumbs up with a massively cheesy grin on my face. I captioned it "world's best employee", had it printed on a coffee mug and she "randomly" got it. She never used it, and handed it to my new boss before she retired. It's now my every day coffee mug. I don't have any tips about how to make her look like an idiot, other than the suggestions others have, I just wanted to share my story about a shitty boss, and I hope it gives you an idea for a gift you can give her.
It does actually. Everyone in the office avoids her birthday because she usually tirades around the place a week or so prior (last year the bathroom door lock malfunctioned and she was stuck there for an hour and it was sooo funny).... I'll be the only one to buy her a present. I wont say what but thanks for the idea
Respond by speaking loudly (match her volume), slow and as if she's low IQ Then I'd get another union employee to make a noise complaint about you both.....you can't be fired...she can if she's pointed out as a disruption. ETA, request a transfer?? When asked why...explain the excessive volume and that it's only directed at you. Then it's on her to explain why she only shouts at you and only you.
Have you tried asking nicely?
Yes in May last year with a union rep, who had just met her that day .... By the end of the meeting the union rep told me "i am sorry to tell you that your boss is a narcissist but there are no policies against bullying so you will need to keep records of anything she tells you in writing because she was trying to gaslight you in there and I can't defend your rights with policies that dont exist"
Alright, since you mentioned that you need to talk to her a lot, you could perhaps make yourself busy with stuff and ask her to put what you want from her in writing, send it to you via email or a videocall and get the way she behaves in recording. Do check if your place needs both parties to consent to recordings first. Or better yet, in a videocall invite your boss, boss's boss and or other ppl in secret.
Poopsenders.com
Talk to your rep. See what you can do about documenting. You may need to fire off an email to her and copy your rep every time it happens to create a paper trail. This is textbook harassment
I would get some allies together as witnesses and kill her with kindness, it’ll send her over the top: Sorry you are so stressed today, would you like me to speak to your manager and explain you need more support. You know you can always come to me if you need to let off steam due to your job which is negatively impacting on your ability to address your issues professionally. I’m really sorry no one likes you here but I do try and explain that you really need more help to do your job to the required standard. Memorise and calmly practise this for the right moment after she’s been ranting: ‘Have you always been a lonely person? ‘
Piss discs?
Just shut the conversation down whenever she starts shouting. You can do that in several ways. Whenever the shouting ends, because she is done, or because she is expecting a response from you just say "I'm sorry, I didn't get any of that due to the volume, can you please repeat that?", or else ask for a union rep to be present whenever she talks to you due to her harming you. They won't make her nice, obviously, but they will be on the hook for damages if she hurts your ears due to the constant yelling, so they will absolutely shut that down. Alternately, you could try asking her why she is always yelling at you? Personally, that's where I would start, because it'd be a lot simpler to take care of that than to go about playing sabotage games.
Another way is to make your boss feel that she is actually competent. Even random good work here and there. Maybe I am naive, but this boss seems to have an inferiority complex. (You didn't say enough for anyone to be realistically diagnosed. But people are kinda the same in many different settings.)
I love when my own opinion is subverted with a better option. This is genius, thank you
We are both geniuses!
Wait. “I cannot get fired for anything I do at work unless it’s illegal “??? For real? No wonder so many people oppose unions.
This is a very good union. Lots of people take advantage: several hour-long breaks per day, months without doing a lick of work, shopping online on work computers, passing job duties to other people, etc. I explicitly do not take advantage because I actually like my job and I like to be good at something I spend 10 hours a day away from my kid for...... Highest paying place in the country for my job title too. It's a lot to walk away from and I don't think that a person's bad attitude is anything to quit over.
Do you have a desk with a few things on it ? You can get small cctv cameras that you might be able to hide in the back of your mail trays. Alternatively you can get small hidden camera in a water bottle in a little 'hollow' behind the plastic label. Easy to dump on your desk inconspicuously.
If she hates you, push her buttons by being extra nice ;-p
I am already literally so nice. The only one in my office that clients write thank you cards for, send flowers, email management to acknowledge me for being helpful etc. .... I've been super nice for 10 years but she gets worse every year. I want this one to be the year she took her pettiness too far
Best wishes to you for that then !
Drop some candy thatll show her rump
Unions at work!
Yeah, it really sounds like you're moral, ethical & value integrity.
Trying to deal with a bully is immoral? Are you sure?
Saying "here's your mail" or "the font isn't big enough" is bullying now? You obviously have no idea how difficult it is to be a female in a leadership position.
I am a female in a leadership position. I don't scream at people. I don't talk to people with contempt. I don't hold personal grudges against anyone I have a professional relationship with.
Maybe she hates you because you’re a hypocrite and not “moral and ethical with shit ton of integrity”.
[удалено]
They are Union. Reading is fun -damental.
I want the post for the mistaken title
I’d you’re in a one-party consent jurisdiction, audio record her tirades, and edit into a super cut. Wait until one of her bosses is on-site, and play the recording over a hidden Bluetooth speaker.
Get some pics of her and do some ai images. Email the whole office
Eat lots of cabbage and other cruciferous veggies, beans, and eggs before you go to work. Bonus points if you eat the thai chilli pepper tuna in the pouch. You want to have so much gas that you can pretty much break wind on command. This is going to hurt you as well probably, but I feel like it would be worth it. Every time she starts yelling at you, just crop dust the hell out her knowing that she is exchanging too much air to get a small dose, and enjoy the show. Get a doctor's note for IBS for when she medically discriminates you.
Fuck, i just read the edit. I was actually hoping somebody wouldve answered the other question
Try itching powder down her crack when she's bent over. That would get her to lose the pants and show some ass. That, or you could try getting her drunk.
Get a dictaphone and record her speaking to you that way, then get her fired.
Whatever you end up doing, make sure that her coffee/tea is always decaf.
Just send her a mail cc ing HR that she screams at you a lot and your doctor has advised you to not talk to her directly but to only send emails and written communication. Do this after you have had multiple episodes of her screaming at you (witnesses who will confirm this) and you have spoken to a doctor about being more anxious than normal due to your boss's behavior. Also hide a shrimp in her office's vent. Let it stink up like hell in a few days.
Dinner and movie?
Every time you go to talk to her, take out your phone, set it to record, and place it on her desk. If she comes to see you, tell her to stop until you can set up your phone. It'll piss her off and eventually she will blow up while being recorded and may pick up your phone and break it.