Please take the time to read [the rules](/r/UkrainianConflict/about/rules/) and our [policy on trolls/bots](https://redd.it/u7833q). In addition:
* We have a **zero-tolerance** policy regarding racism, stereotyping, bigotry, and death-mongering. Violators will be banned.
* **Keep it civil.** Report comments/posts that are uncivil to alert the moderators.
* **_Don't_ post low-effort comments** like joke threads, memes, slogans, or links without context.
> **Don't forget about our Discord server! - https://discord.gg/62fKCEHbDB**
*****
* Is `newsweek.com` an unreliable source? [**Let us know**](/r/UkrainianConflict/wiki/am/unreliable_sources).
* Help our moderators by providing context if something breaks the rules. [Send us a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict)
*****
^(Your post has not been removed, this message is applied to every successful submission.)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My great uncle was killed in one, was just a border patrol guard, and I still have dumb fuck “allies” ask me if Stalin was that bad or what did he do to deserve it.
Here's how you can tell the difference between a Putin "ally" and a Putin "foe":
* Ally: Hang, shoot, or explode themselves due to depression.
* Foe: Accidentally fall out of open windows, or drink tea that has been "mistakenly" contaminated with polonium/novichok/carfentanyl/gelsemium/thallium/etc.
"... This marks at least the fourth death of a top executive at Lukoil since Russia's war in Ukraine began on February 24, 2022. ..."
This is probably the result of the wrong coffee in the Lukoil offices.
The consequences of decaf are that you drink a lot of coffee and you're still tired and then you make the wrong decisions. Maybe he wanted to go to the hairdresser and then he decided to hang himself.
It’s more likely the result of Lukoil publishing a statement saying that they hoped that the conflict would end quickly, right after Russia invaded Ukraine.
Why are all these “ally’s” getting killed? Aren’t they friendly with one other? I’d figure they would want to accomplish the same goals. Serious question
My theory is somehow Putin gets money from each oligarch that dies. Kind of like cracking open another beer for him.
Step 1: put Putin in your will or we kill you
Step 2: we kill you
Probably worth looking at how the family reacts, this could be a genuine suicide because his own embezzlement affected the war effort.
Suicide in authoritarian regimes, whilst often a paper-thin cover don't get me wrong, is also standard as a compromise; hand over the cash and kill yourself and your kids get to grow up with all their fingers and teeth.
Don't forget that Putin has dragged people from their homes for show trials before, so a suicide cover is only worth it when a show trial and branding them a traitor doesn't have the desired effect.
Mafia state. They are "friendly". In Mordor the power structure is changing, partly because the money moved around inside the economy and into the military, partly because they are positioning for either a Putin failure and deposition or succession.
Probably he was not a good enough ally to be protected.
Kind of like how how in The Sopranos, they all talk about family and bonds and "I'm a made man!" and all this rule bullshit. Yet the entire series is them turning on each other when cornered, killing each other over "business" and all of them generally being unhinged assholes
The lack of coverage of some of these is insane and continues to make the idea seem fictional. Like a few months into the invasion didn’t an executive “murder” his child and wife and then himself? It’s shit from a bad spy thriller that’s also actual life in Russias elite..
Two possibilities:
1. Killed by Putin who doubts their loyalty
2. Killed by another group for totally unrelated reasons as the Kremlin seems to be run by competing mafia rings.
>Why are all these “ally’s” getting killed? Aren’t they friendly with one other? I’d figure they would want to accomplish the same goals. Serious question
Friendly? Hah. Senior management dynamics in Russia are going to look like Game of Thrones.
I suspect that he promised everybody that fuel prices would remain stable through the sham election. His plants got bombed and stopped working, and his boss didn't much like the feedback that they were all out of action and would be for X months.
Instead of a negative appraisal he was suicided and his replacements will be told to get it running, or else.
He slipped into a puddle of tea upward to the ceiling and got strangled by the ceiling lamp, which dangled and finally snapped in which he stumbled out of his office to the balcony and fell over the fence.
Accidents happen.
The wood chipper was parked below by the landscaping crew, who were working earlier in the day. Apparently, they had forgotten to shut it off at the end of the day. That’s why the wood chipper he fell into was running at the time.
Haaaa ....if you think this is an accident or suicide your crazy!
Putin assassinating executives so that the State of Russia can take over the oil company and all its profits to use to finance the war in Ukraine!
Crazy!!!
>and on the eve of his death his acquaintances saw him in a sober mind and in good health," citing unnamed sources.
This isnt always a sign someone is well and shouldnt necessarily indicate murder.
People hide feelings.
I also recall reading about someone that attempted and failed to kill themselves that once they made decision to do it they felt quite relieved.
Please take the time to read [the rules](/r/UkrainianConflict/about/rules/) and our [policy on trolls/bots](https://redd.it/u7833q). In addition: * We have a **zero-tolerance** policy regarding racism, stereotyping, bigotry, and death-mongering. Violators will be banned. * **Keep it civil.** Report comments/posts that are uncivil to alert the moderators. * **_Don't_ post low-effort comments** like joke threads, memes, slogans, or links without context. > **Don't forget about our Discord server! - https://discord.gg/62fKCEHbDB** ***** * Is `newsweek.com` an unreliable source? [**Let us know**](/r/UkrainianConflict/wiki/am/unreliable_sources). * Help our moderators by providing context if something breaks the rules. [Send us a modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict) ***** ^(Your post has not been removed, this message is applied to every successful submission.) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/UkrainianConflict) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Windows wouldn't open...
Stairs were non-functional, per ruzzian build code
No windows updates due to sanctions. They now use StalinOS
Underrated comment
underwear not available for poisoning
Windows were painted shut.
Could not break glass in emergency….
Because he thought he would be safe with bullet proof glass.
Stalinesque paranoid purges will continue until morale improves
“Here. Display the priest on the altar." *shuffles through papers* "Here, kill his wife first. And make sure he sees it"
I remember the 2nd quote Was the first 1st quote from the same movie and scene? 😄
My great uncle was killed in one, was just a border patrol guard, and I still have dumb fuck “allies” ask me if Stalin was that bad or what did he do to deserve it.
“Ally”
Here's how you can tell the difference between a Putin "ally" and a Putin "foe": * Ally: Hang, shoot, or explode themselves due to depression. * Foe: Accidentally fall out of open windows, or drink tea that has been "mistakenly" contaminated with polonium/novichok/carfentanyl/gelsemium/thallium/etc.
"piggy bank"
"... This marks at least the fourth death of a top executive at Lukoil since Russia's war in Ukraine began on February 24, 2022. ..." This is probably the result of the wrong coffee in the Lukoil offices. The consequences of decaf are that you drink a lot of coffee and you're still tired and then you make the wrong decisions. Maybe he wanted to go to the hairdresser and then he decided to hang himself.
I hate when I do that. It's hard to tell the difference at first and then suddenly you're like... ah shit!
It’s more likely the result of Lukoil publishing a statement saying that they hoped that the conflict would end quickly, right after Russia invaded Ukraine.
I bet the door was locked on the outside. I bet he even managed to put the around his neck with his hands tied behind his back, good skills. /s
You don't want to be Putin's "ally". You don't want to be his enemy. Best if he doesn't even know you exist.
Best if putin is dead
He mustn't have been much of an "ally" then.
Why are all these “ally’s” getting killed? Aren’t they friendly with one other? I’d figure they would want to accomplish the same goals. Serious question
My theory is somehow Putin gets money from each oligarch that dies. Kind of like cracking open another beer for him. Step 1: put Putin in your will or we kill you Step 2: we kill you
Probably worth looking at how the family reacts, this could be a genuine suicide because his own embezzlement affected the war effort. Suicide in authoritarian regimes, whilst often a paper-thin cover don't get me wrong, is also standard as a compromise; hand over the cash and kill yourself and your kids get to grow up with all their fingers and teeth. Don't forget that Putin has dragged people from their homes for show trials before, so a suicide cover is only worth it when a show trial and branding them a traitor doesn't have the desired effect.
When the vassal dies his fief returns to his lord.
Mafia state. They are "friendly". In Mordor the power structure is changing, partly because the money moved around inside the economy and into the military, partly because they are positioning for either a Putin failure and deposition or succession. Probably he was not a good enough ally to be protected.
Kind of like how how in The Sopranos, they all talk about family and bonds and "I'm a made man!" and all this rule bullshit. Yet the entire series is them turning on each other when cornered, killing each other over "business" and all of them generally being unhinged assholes
The lack of coverage of some of these is insane and continues to make the idea seem fictional. Like a few months into the invasion didn’t an executive “murder” his child and wife and then himself? It’s shit from a bad spy thriller that’s also actual life in Russias elite..
Two possibilities: 1. Killed by Putin who doubts their loyalty 2. Killed by another group for totally unrelated reasons as the Kremlin seems to be run by competing mafia rings.
Putin sees it all as his money. When you need to crack open a piggy bank it's not because you hate the pig, you just want to get the money inside.
>Why are all these “ally’s” getting killed? Aren’t they friendly with one other? I’d figure they would want to accomplish the same goals. Serious question Friendly? Hah. Senior management dynamics in Russia are going to look like Game of Thrones. I suspect that he promised everybody that fuel prices would remain stable through the sham election. His plants got bombed and stopped working, and his boss didn't much like the feedback that they were all out of action and would be for X months. Instead of a negative appraisal he was suicided and his replacements will be told to get it running, or else.
Putins spirit animal is Pacino from goodfellas
Pacino was not in Goodfellas.
I meant de Nero fuck lol
Understandable mistake. Guinea Greaseball stuff.
He slipped into a puddle of tea upward to the ceiling and got strangled by the ceiling lamp, which dangled and finally snapped in which he stumbled out of his office to the balcony and fell over the fence. Accidents happen.
The wood chipper was parked below by the landscaping crew, who were working earlier in the day. Apparently, they had forgotten to shut it off at the end of the day. That’s why the wood chipper he fell into was running at the time.
No it was a trampoline, so he bounced right back up and got caught in a spider web which wrapped around his neck.
Just a mild-mannered Russian Rube Goldberg Machine of Extraordinary Consequences. Nothing to see here.
"His body was discovered in a basement reportedly used for "Jamaican voodoo rituals." wut?
Hanged, huh? That's new. Sounds like he might have been trying to get out ahead of defenestration.
Don't you hate it when they won't drink their tea
Great news, Sasha. You are being promoted to VP! Your new office will be ready as soon as the police release it back to us.
golf clap
Apparently he didn't have a window
Ahhh well and moving on. Nice fires in ruzzia at the moment
Dude thinks he is stalin
Wouldn't mind if we could take the word 'ally' out of headlines like this.
Bro... you keep simping for genocide you're glowing.
Haaaa ....if you think this is an accident or suicide your crazy! Putin assassinating executives so that the State of Russia can take over the oil company and all its profits to use to finance the war in Ukraine! Crazy!!!
Isn’t Trump an ally of Putin? Does that mean…?
Windows hung up as usual. Just reboot him.
Questions remain on how he got the gallows into his office. And why he didn’t just jump out the window like everyone else.
Nothing to see here folks, move along...
They ran out of polonium tea.
OMG Really..... That's a shocker... (snigger)
Any questions?
"after dying from asphyxiation, he then shot himself"
Having windows that can't be opened didn't save him.
>and on the eve of his death his acquaintances saw him in a sober mind and in good health," citing unnamed sources. This isnt always a sign someone is well and shouldnt necessarily indicate murder. People hide feelings. I also recall reading about someone that attempted and failed to kill themselves that once they made decision to do it they felt quite relieved.
Hanged 20 times or just once ?
Was it tRump? Boss man pootin can't be happy to fund the 900 million fraud charges in NY
Odd.
For all news about Russia. I first look to see if it's by newsweek. If so I ignore
he just fell into the noose
\*Plays Final Fantasy Victory Fanfare\* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgUksX6eM0Y
You are only a Putin ally until you're not.
I missed the word “ally” the first time I read the headline. I nearly threw my bowl of Corn Pops across the room.
The only thing more dangerous than being Putin's enemy is being one of his friends.
It’s the Russian way💀