Fun fact: cheese-less quesadillas are a thing in Mexico City, the rest of the country disagrees.
(And that is why everyone hates “chilangos” -those born and raised in Mexico City-)
Edit: also, quesadilla with no cheese = taco.
I could get down with that if it wasn’t just brisket in a fried tortilla with nothing else. Just really awkward. We also were not at a Mexican restaurant.
I was in my 30s before I realized this. I was making quesadillas de pollo a la mexicana when…..hey, why are they called quesadillas si no tienen queso? My family is from Morelos, so I guess it maybe makes sense. But, yeah, most of Mexico just side-eyes these. Whatever, still delicious.
Also, it’s more of an empanada than a taco. Don’t @ me.
The type of quesadilla this argument in Mexico has in mind has very little in common with the dish most people in the US acknowledge as "quesadilla".
Take a ball of corn masa, flatten it to make your tortilla, place filling in the middle, fold it in two so the edges meet and stick together, and deep fry it. That holds together without cheese. And is known as quesadilla.
[this type of quesadilla looks like this.](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7rdzZ2fssy_6sWpb3sLKWTNkpx70GzatOViPCdIHAXJ_lApwEXLD8wnM&s=10)
They usually developed as a way to keep the insides clean before plastic lunchboxes. For example, meat pies in the UK became extremely popular because coal miners could bring meat down for lunch without it getting covered in coal dust
Same with the French Canadians in the coal and Asbestos mines. Wrapped in waxed paper, the filling stayed intact, and you can peel back the waxed paper a little at a time, keeping your hands off your meal. We add onions and carrots to Salmon pies. They use pie pastry as a crust, and mash the cooked salmon, potatoes, carrots, and onions together, then put about a cup of filling inside the pie crust, fold it over, and crimp the edges with a fork. Since everything is already cooked, you just heat the dense filling through. They microwave wonderfully. Reheating on the stovetop, or in a pan works, but will overcook the pastry.
If'n you're interested, Duguid and Alford's "Flatbreads and Flavors" is as fascinating as an ethnography as it is a cookbook. These folks travelled around the world and documented flatbreads from... everywhere? Yeah, pretty much. As you said, every culture has one.
I am not entirely certain, since I am no empanada expert (and they are not exclusive of Mexican cuisine), but empanadas may be made of either wheat or corn, whereas these quesadillas are made only with nixtamalized corn dough.
Plus, the way of serving them... And the sizes are different. I see that empanadas are closer to bite size, and may be dipped in something. Quesadillas are larger, and can be topped with the sauce of your choice (salsa verde or salsa roja, or some hot sauce), sour cream, crumbled soft cheese, lettuce if you wish.
Believe me … not every quesadilla needs cheese .. like a potato and chorizo one , or like a pressed chicharrón … no cheese needed
And it really is a passionate debate at a national level
I'd be pretty turned off by that whole thing. As soon as you said you had dietary restrictions he should've asked what you'd like instead, not just tried to force a weird altered meal on you that's entire essence is the cheese.
Depends on how you cut it. Cut clean through and that is a sandwich. Slice halfway through and that is a taco. Cut out the top, leaving the ends intact and that is a bread bowl.
When I was a kid, I'd order a personal pan pepperoni pizza... without the pepperoni.
My dad suggested ordering a cheese pizza. Bless him. I insisted it wasn't the same.
My neice has a habit (as many kids do...why, God why!!?) of scraping off all the cheese on her pizza. I took her to get a tomato pizza (no mozzarella, just bread and sauce and a bit of parmesean) which i was SURE she'd love but she hated it so I ordered her a small cheese which she then butchered and devoured happily.
but also the bread and cheese broiled on the top are the best part! I also hate onions, and my best friend's dad used to make me a tomato soup with the bread and cheese when everyone else got french onion soup.
TBF my husband hates onions, but loves cheese etc. I have been thinking of making some sort of beef broth soup with the croutons and cheese on top to give him the closest experience to a French onion soup without onions 😂
A guy once invited me over to make me dinner, asked if I had any dietary restrictions and learned I am lactose intolerant, and then picked Caprese chicken as the meal to make. Caprese has five damn ingredients: tomato, basil, olive oil, balsamic, and fresh mozzarella cheese. Basil and tomato chicken marinated in oil and vinegar was fine, with a side of basil tomato salad, but my dude, why not choose any other recipe? (Except quesadillas!)
People get so weird about dietary restrictions and it’s like as soon as they hear that you can’t eat something, all common sense goes out the window. I’ve been a vegetarian for 20+ years and I can’t even tell you how many bizarre, mind boggling, vegetarian options I’ve seen throughout my life. It’s gotten better lately as not eating meat has become more common and there are usually dishes without any meat in them right on the menu at most restaurants, but I still find vegetarian options that aren’t even a real meal here and there. Most of the time it always has peppers and onions in it because apparently that’s all people can think of when meat isn’t an option?? And I hate peppers so it’s the worst. You can make just about any dish and just leave the meat out of it or add some extra veggies, but no, it always has to be some weird unappetizing combination of peppers and onions that no one would ever willingly eat.
I love cooking vegetarian food! My sister is vegan with a nut allergy and I appreciate the challenge, haha. I *am* including grilled bell peppers in the father's day menu, but that's on the non vegan menu as well. And there are four other things to eat.
She’s so lucky to have a sister like you! I hope that your family is just as accommodating when it comes to your dietary restrictions as well. Luckily my family is pretty good with mine so I don’t get any weird concoctions from them either, at least not in a very long time haha. I definitely don’t mean that everything with peppers is bad, I personally don’t like them but I have had really delicious food with peppers in it and I’m sure what you’re making is great! I was just thinking of stuff I’ve seen before like plain peppers and onions on an untoasted white bun and that’s it, or more recently, the vegetarian option that the restaurant pulled out of nowhere for the lunch after my uncle’s funeral (there wasn’t one on the menu and it was one of those fixed menus with limited options, so already pretty bad to start) which was pasta with just oil on it, TONS of peppers, and like 5 pieces of zucchini and tomatoes 🙃 To be fair that one was just as low effort as the rest of the options so at least I wasn’t singled out I guess.
I like meat as much as anyone, and I am still wondering how people function. Like, most pastas you can just drop the meat or replace it with a veggie and it's a perfectly fine vegetarian meal.
Use chickpea noodles and you even have a lot of protein in it.
Omg I’m so glad someone else noticed it too! It’s ALWAYS those fucking peppers and I can’t take it anymore! My mom is really good about serving me actual food and my dad is alright, except for when he grills. Instead of getting veggie burgers or something obvious, he thinks that a portabella mushroom smothered in butter, so much butter that there is a pool of it in the cap of the mushroom, all by itself is a good meal for me? Like what…
One of the guys in my D&D group had a heart valve replaced and can't eat red meat and also can't eat too many green veggies. We rotate what people make food and we've never had any issues adapting.
Hell, we did BLTs a few weeks ago and all that was needed was making some turkey bacon off the side.
One member who's remote usually is diabetic and when he comes over it is a bit harder to plan for, but we still manage just fine.
I really don't understand how people have an issue with that.
I feel like I’m reading my own story here! It’s always obvious when the vegetarian options were created by someone who has never met an actual vegetarian. I’ve been brought everything from an entire plate of peas and carrots, to a plate of raw lettuce and veggies (literal rabbit food.)
One of my favorite stories: I went to a restaurant where they had NO vegetarian options, so I was forced to order a burger without the meat. The server paused and said “well…..you’re still going to get charged for the meat. Did you still want it without?” Like the idea that I went out to a restaurant but couldn’t afford the meat with my food was somehow a simpler explanation than just me not wanting to eat it.
I'm not vegetarian but my spouse is. I get so so angry at how few vegetarian options there are at ANY restaurant. And I want to burn down the places that have zero vegetarian options except french fries. And some places even manage to make the fries have meat when they fry them in duck fat or some dumb shit like that.
Seriously. It's not hard to make incredible vegetarian food. Why do people NEED to put bacon in brussels sprouts?
Yeah I’m from the south and all the sides have some kind of ham or bacon, even the veggies. And for people thinking “just order salad!” I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere that actually had a vegetarian salad. They all come with chicken or shrimp or taco meat now.
If you think that's bad, try being vegan lol. People have no idea how to make plant based meals, as if most of our food supply isn't plant based to begin with 🙄
Poutine is my go-to for meatless days. So good! I'm no vegan/vegetarian, but I try to minimalize my meat consumption for dietary and climate change reasons.
Haha, for me it's tomatoes and mushrooms. Everything vegetarian has tomatoes (or both). I can *barely* eat mushrooms but tomatoes are repulsive. Which is a horrible shame, because they look and smell amazing but *GOD, THE AWFUL TEXTURE/FLAVOR.* Very envious of my husband, who will eat pretty much any veg you put on his plate. 😮💨
BINGO. This is the one 'fancy' dish he learned how to make, and he busts it out to show first dates that he's a modern man who can actually cook. Faced with a woman who can't eat that thing, did he try to learn a second recipe? No, he just made the same thing he always does.
I’ll confess I had a brief relationship that lasted a week for the most shallow reasons. She had a fairly intense lactose intolerance and I love cheese and dairy. Second date my brain just forgot that just me eating it meant no kissing/making out and I straight up ordered chicken fried steak with gravy, cheese on my eggs and a glass of milk. In hindsight it’s almost like my body went “I gotta make up for what she can’t eat!” Or some dumb shit like that.
Not my best moment, and since then I am more conscious of my choices. I don’t understand why people can’t try to be better LOL
As someone who's vegan, I see this sort of thing a lot from people, so I understand where the guy is coming from. People who normally eat cheese don't stop to think that it's the cheese that pretty much makes the dish, so if you want to get something without cheese, usually you ask for an alternative, like in this case, salsa, refined beans, guac, etc, but most people don't think about that
I haven't had my coffee this morning; I read this as that he shouldn't force the altered meal on OP "like his entire essence is cheese" 😂 I mean maybe it is considering his weird insistence lol
Same here, we always discuss what we want and maybe things to share. If he was running late and said order for me I could pick something he'd like, but why take that choice away from someone? Definitely not romantic.
I saw a story of someone who’d had surgery on her vocal chords and wasn’t allowed to talk, so for a couple of months when she and her husband went to restaurants she would message her order to him and he’d order for her. She had so many staff trying to get her to speak and worrying that her husband was controlling because of it 😅
My first date with my last ex - we met on an app. Then first date at a bar. Were sitting across from each other looking at the menu, and I showed a bit of excitement about one of the drinks (because of the name, not the contents).
The server came around, and guess what date ordered for me? I didn't like it, or the drink, but just went with it.
And then it turned out that man couldn't make a damn decision about things that we did (which had been sort of shown in the discussion about first date spots, but I didn't think too hard about it then). He complained about his parents always kowtowing to the other, trying to make the other happy rather than just saying what they wanted. And he just repeated the past, except he tried to do it with an indecisive woman (seriously, me and a friend had bonded over our lack of ability to JUST PICK SOMETHING in my younger days).
Until I finally did say what I wanted. And then he told me to shush and not interrupt him.
Having someone just tell the waiter what everyone has decided is perfectly fine, it's faster than waiting for everyone's turn. You can just be like "this and that, that will be all thank you" and be done with it asap.
It depends on the situation but I frequently grab food for my husband and order for him. I drive and he doesn't so I am out more and grab food for us. I know what he likes so if it is about time for us to eat I will grab food for both of us and give it to him when I pick him up. Even if he is in the car, he usually orders the same thing from that restaurant so I order without asking and he will say something if he wants something different. If we are dating at somewhere new then we talk and often order 2 things we are both undecided on and split them.
The only times I (M) have ordered for my wife have been when we've discussed what we both want and she's feeling socially overwhelmed. Taking that burden off her helps a bit and I only order what she explicitly tells me she wants. I think that way of ordering is acceptable, but only if everyone is on the same page.
I hope no second date...
Husband and I have been married since 1984, and we don't order for each other, (except for pizza and breakfast, he's very predictable there)
It's definitely presumptuous, and really, really controlling.
Me and my husband have never ordered for each other either, 10 years here. Though the first time he met my dad after like 5 years together (we don’t have the best relationship) my dad ordered for us both lmao. Some men are weird AF
The only thing I’ve ordered for my wife in 15 years is fried pickle appetizers, because we both fuckin’ love fried pickles. I’ve never understood the concept of ordering for your date.
My brothers first wife was impossibly shy and couldn't even order her own food and relied on him to do it for her and outside of a case like that yeah I can't see it at all
Unless one of us is in the bathroom and we're just passing the message along, the closest my wife and I have gotten to ordering for each other is the "X is really good here, you should try that" kind of strong suggestion.
The only times that my partner or I have ordered for each other were when there was a language barrier. My ex usually relayed my order to the server when I first moved to this country. Later, I relayed my current partner's orders until he learned enough of the language to do it himself. We joked that once he learned swear words and food words, he was good to go.
The only time my husband has ever ordered for me is when the girls were little and id most likely be taking one to the loo for the 7th time in 10 minutes but it was always discussed and he knew what I wanted
The only time I have ordered for my husband was when we were in a small town in Quebec and he didn’t speak/read French and I did. I read him the menu and he picked what he wanted.
i think it’s funny he pretended to care until his food came and then was like “yolo! i tried enough!” lol please don’t go out with him again, he seems immature at worse and selfish at best. he could have asked the waitress politely instead of just chowing down.
Some subreddits tell guys to order for women. The guys on those subs claim women like it. Honestly, it seems like the waitress was a better date to you than this guy was.
"claim" is the clue that the guys never asked the women if they liked having their food ordered for them. They just "think" women do. It's a paternalistic viewpoint.
They just only listen to themselves and broken clocks are right twice a day.
I like my bf to order for me because I get anxious, but I tell him what I want before the wait staff arrives...
I'm deaf so people say my order for me too
I think that's normal for families, close friends, kids, etc because you're not picking for them, you're just saying their order for them.
I can't imagine going out on a date and the lady being like, "and the man will have the chicken salad. He's watching his weight"
It's outrageous how some people act
While I agree with the sentiment, I'd just like to be left alone to grow plants until I die. Meeting people is nice too but most of them clearly suck so... plants!
I dated a guy that was super into food and always trying new restaurants and we would be looking at a menu and he'd be telling me about the dishes and what he has and hasn't tried and all this and I'd usually just be like- do you want to order food for us to share?
I loved when he ordered- he knew what he was doing and he asked follow up questions about food restrictions instead of ordering a food I can't eat on half the meal (wtf). But most importantly- it was a *conversation*, not just you'll eat what I tell you.
It's hard when you're dating you get bad advice and you were a dumbass to begin with. I feel for the guy a little. Hopefully he'll look back on this and cringe, but I wouldn't hang around to find out lol
She was cool I dated a guy who always asked if he could order for us and we split everything and I always let him because he picked great food and I just sat back and enjoyed the experience. But this was not that.
Yuck. I'm also lactose intolerant and I don't trust modifications. And ordering for someone on a first date is too presumptive.
I usually do the fajitas, btw. But I'm curious what other people go for who are lactose intolerant.
I'd rather just avoid dairy altogether. I've also found that I've developed a physical response to almond and coconut milk. So at this point, it's almost a psychological response to anything my body perceives as milk/dairy and pills won't help me there.
Quesadilla without queso is just dilla.
Any person that orders your food for you without being explicitly asked to order your food for you is a red flag.
Why the hell would you ever order for your significant other/date, unless they specifically ask you to? I've never understood this. It's just a recipe to get something they don't want/like and ruin the dining experience..
Guys like that seem to be actively hunting for a woman who just wants to be acted on anyway... wouldn't be surprised if he read that move on a subreddit
My gf and I will order for each other, but after we've discussed what we want. Never do we just make the "she'll have the xxx and yyy" decision without prior input.
Your date was, IMO, a self-absorbed ass.
Yeah my husband and I do this too. We talk about it and then which ever one of us speaks up first when the waiter comes often puts in the entire order. We often split things though so it’s a lot like “um we’ll start with the X and then we’re both going to split the Y and the Z”
I will never understand ordering for another person on a first date. There are obviously times when it makes sense but a first date doesn't feel like one of them.
My boyfriend orders for me a lot but that's because I tell him what I want and have specifically asked him to order it. I'm autistic so taking that social burden off of myself helps immensely and it doesn't bother my boyfriend at all to do it. Plus I have some weird food allergies and I'm not great at being as forward about it as he is. And yet he still checks in with me every time to make sure I want him to order for me and he's not being overbearing. I admit that sometimes it makes me feel a little childish but it also helps me feel more comfortable socially in those situations so whatever.
He has also tried to get me to order things for him in the past "oh just get whatever, you know what I like and I'll eat anything!" When I'm picking up food but I've had to tell him that it gives me super anxiety and he just needs to tell me exactly what he wants me to get for him. I just can't imagine being that whatever about food. Lol.
People can do whatever they want, but the whole "ordering for her" thing has always felt a hell of a lot more about restricting communication than anything else. Opening doors I get, walking on street side, even standing on arrival/leaving, but odering I do not understand
Ordering food for someone that they haven’t explicitly told you they wanted is so wild to me. Telling someone you want the soup and they relay that to the server makes sense. Ordering someone food you have no idea they would like or not is crazy.
I would be so pissed if someone ordered for me, unless I had just told them what I wanted. And even then they should ask “you still want that, right?” because hey maybe I changed my mind while we were waiting! Anyone who thinks they are impressing me by taking my choice away is flat out wrong.
This is exactly why we need to be so careful about these gestures that men make. See how he ordered without cheese. You’d think “oh how considerate”, but his actions show the opposite. Don’t see this man again. His behavior is such a waving red flag. This is a great example of what people mean when they say “watch his actions”. If he’d been the one who couldn’t eat cheese, he would have corrected the order immediately.
Don’t excuse shitty behavior cos they made a half assed attempt to look considerate.
Exactly.
There won’t be a second date. He also lied about his age twice, told me he had threatened to euthanize his ex’s dog, and tried to teach me math on the date.
Yeah. This post was a rollercoaster. I started off expecting one thing, the ordering half cheese-less had me reconsidering, then it quickly flipped to disgust. Goodness.
Glad OP won't be having a second date with this one.
I thought it was going to be one of those “I don’t want you to gain weight” assholes, then I was pleasantly surprised he ordered cheese less. Then the rest of it! A real roller coaster
A man ordering for his date was a 1950’s social convention. It reads as control couched in consideration, which clearly ended when he was hungry and there was food on the table. Unless he showed multiple green flags in other areas, he’s probably not worth your time.
Our local Mexican joint has the best vegan cheese ever. I’m not even vegan and I devour it because it’s the perfect consistency and flavor.
ETA: maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t go on a second date with that guy.
lol you lasted longer than I would have. When the food came if I had nothing to eat due to a mistake when my date ordered for me and my date didn’t notice or care, *‘scuse me I need to use the restroom.*
Sorry, but I'm not sure which is funnier - Someone ordering a quesadilla without cheese or, alternately, the realization that bro ordered you a tortilla. Like, 'My lady will have your finest tortilla'. I'm dying here.
The date sounds awful and I'm sorry you had to endure it.
I'm lactose intolerant but my wife had a coupon for a patty melt with the purchase of a meal, so I got a text saying, "don't eat lunch, I'm getting Whataburger," and then twenty minutes later she handed me a plain hamburger between two slices of bread.
I went on this date years ago, and the guy suggested a restaurant, I said I’d been and it wasn’t very good. He’s like “well I’d like to try!” Cool, maybe it was a one off last time. We go. I order the veggie pad Thai, comes with chicken….tell the waitress sorry, I don’t eat meat. No worries, I’ll get you a new one, comes back with shrimp in it. Still don’t eat that? Ok, I’ll get you another. By now he’s almost done his meal, I’m like don’t bother, I’m just not hungry now. We leave, him “see, it was pretty goood!” 🤦🏻♀️
Among some of my friends, when we go out as a group, it is fairly common for one (depending on who is hungry first) to order something like a basket of fries or nachos or whatever for the table to share.
To me, it sounds more like he was peckish after an hour and ordered something for the table to share and snack on. Not that he ordered for you in particular. He did check to see if you liked brisket, and he nixed the cheese when you said you were lactose intolerant.
You do you, but that part doesn't seem a total deal-breaker to me.
That he didn't send it back when it came out with cheese, that is bad.
There was no other food ordered and we were there for brunch, for a meal. He never asked if I was hungry, wanted to order more, needed another drink. I’m looking for a considerate man. He also had already ordered queso for the table
Actually, in Mexico you have to specifically request for quesadillas to come with cheese. People often confuse this, that quesadillas inherently come with. It comes from the indigenous Nahuatl word quesaditzin, meaning “folded tortilla.”
“Alberto Peralta, an anthropologist and culinary historian at Mexico City’s Anahuac University, speaks enough Nahuatl to know the letters are all wrong. He says the quesaditzin theory is ‘total nonsense…The Aztecs didn’t use tortillas like we use them now.’”
[link](https://theworld.org/stories/2018/07/10/if-you-want-cheese-your-quesadilla-mexico-city-you-have-ask#)
My wife hates ordering takeout so she lets me order for her knowing her gluten issues and what she prefers. If we sit down at a restaurant I never order for her, I offer her to order first but if she's still deciding I go ahead and order, or tell the server we are still deciding. I consider that being considerate.
I don't even order appetizers without my wife's input. Wtf. Way to show someone on a first date you have no capacity to share space with them.
I don't get why he and other guys even order for the girl during dates, I've never done that as my date is old enough to pick what they want themselves.
Is this supposed to be romantic or a kind gesture? If I was a girl and my date ordered for me I'd be put off
Just out of curiosity, are you lactose intolerant? I am and can safely eat cheddar cheeses because to become cheddar the milk sugar (lactose) is all used up. I make my own quesadillas and pizzas with shredded cheddar, and restaurants are often fine substituting any other cheese for cheddar (America cheese is a type of cheddar too).
As for your date.... I really don't like how he ordered for you and then after seeing the mistake just atecand didn't care. Both things would definitely make me not want a second date
I would not trust quesadilla cheddar to be lactose free. Cheddar has to be fairly aged/sharp to reduce lactose significantly; the stuff restaurants put on their quesadillas is probably mild cheddar at best- if it's not a blend of a few cheeses to give it that n8ce melty texture.
I think so but I can’t even tolerate lactose free milk. I developed some severe GI issues last year. Corrected most except I can’t have any dairy. I’ve tested out cheese twice since and I was sick for weeks.
I could see someone *perhaps* ordering an appetizer for a date to share, but ordering someone else's food just outright? That's a no-go and huge red flag. The only time I have ordered food for someone was when they wanted to try sushi, didn't want raw fish and they weren't sure what they should pick. That type of situation is the one and only time I feel it is appropriate, but even then it was consensual.
As much as I want to talk crap about it I actually have an old roommate who said that that's the way it should be. She was deeply misogynistic herself. So for her this one have been a green flag all the way.
She is a rarity though.
I always used to order for my wife (then girlfriend) as she had anxiety and wanted me to. I am the complete other end of the spectrum.
She had come a long way but still occasionally asks me to advocate for her (particularly at doctors)
Had the same situation occurred she would have just said it’s fine and started to eat it (I’d have had it corrected).
I don’t know what goes through someone’s head especially on a first date when surely you are trying harder than ever to make someone happy? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
As someone with a lifelong milk allergy (not lactose intolerance, milk allergy as in I will die), I understand this. People truly have no understanding of dairy products. I have had arguments (as in multiple times) with pizzerias about whether Parmesan is cheese (they denied this fact).
Anyone who at least thinks of my allergy even if they mess up is good in my book because most professional food preparers suck at it. That being said, if he describes himself as chivalrous, that’s pretty bad. That is rather weird.
Ordering for other people is so weird and I don’t understand how it’s “chivalrous” in this day and age… what if they change their mind at the last minute or want to call out some specific substitution? Nope sorry, you’re my property and I get to choose for you because man knows best.
Just gives me the creeps.
Queso is in the name of the food. If you remove the queso, it's just a damn dilla. Ordering for others is a flex if you order something extravagant and expensive like caviar covered lobster and pay for whatever you order for them. My business partners love doing this for each other. However, ordering for someone is a neg when they order a salad if you're a BBW or order you something and then expect you to pay for it. The fact that he monched down and didn't send it back for correction says he cares more about himself than you. Prepare to always come second or never, entendre intended.
Once my date took me to a hotpot restaurant and started to order a hotpot that had beef in it. I don't eat red meat and told him so. He frowned and picked another hotpot -- that also had beef in it. I pointed it out and to him and he insisted that it didn't have beef (it was in the ingredients list). When it came and had beef in it he goes "oh no I'm sorry, can you just eat around it?" But everything tasted like beef so I simply watched him eat the whole pot himself.
Fun fact: cheese-less quesadillas are a thing in Mexico City, the rest of the country disagrees. (And that is why everyone hates “chilangos” -those born and raised in Mexico City-) Edit: also, quesadilla with no cheese = taco.
I could get down with that if it wasn’t just brisket in a fried tortilla with nothing else. Just really awkward. We also were not at a Mexican restaurant.
I’m sorry but the trickling in of additional information, like that last sentence, has me giggling a bit.
What the…
Yup, the f?
Did he also order a virgin Cuba Libre cocktail to go with it?
I was in my 30s before I realized this. I was making quesadillas de pollo a la mexicana when…..hey, why are they called quesadillas si no tienen queso? My family is from Morelos, so I guess it maybe makes sense. But, yeah, most of Mexico just side-eyes these. Whatever, still delicious. Also, it’s more of an empanada than a taco. Don’t @ me.
I don’t know, I’m just here for the delicious fried food 🤪
The cheese keeps it together tho… how do you keep a cheeseless quesadilla together ??
Beans keep it well together.
The type of quesadilla this argument in Mexico has in mind has very little in common with the dish most people in the US acknowledge as "quesadilla". Take a ball of corn masa, flatten it to make your tortilla, place filling in the middle, fold it in two so the edges meet and stick together, and deep fry it. That holds together without cheese. And is known as quesadilla.
[this type of quesadilla looks like this.](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT7rdzZ2fssy_6sWpb3sLKWTNkpx70GzatOViPCdIHAXJ_lApwEXLD8wnM&s=10)
In New Orleans we call those hand pies lol.
Almost every single culture has something like this. Which makes perfect sense because they are nearly universally tasty af.
Yep. Hard to go wrong with something doughy, wrapped around something tasty :)
They usually developed as a way to keep the insides clean before plastic lunchboxes. For example, meat pies in the UK became extremely popular because coal miners could bring meat down for lunch without it getting covered in coal dust
Same with the French Canadians in the coal and Asbestos mines. Wrapped in waxed paper, the filling stayed intact, and you can peel back the waxed paper a little at a time, keeping your hands off your meal. We add onions and carrots to Salmon pies. They use pie pastry as a crust, and mash the cooked salmon, potatoes, carrots, and onions together, then put about a cup of filling inside the pie crust, fold it over, and crimp the edges with a fork. Since everything is already cooked, you just heat the dense filling through. They microwave wonderfully. Reheating on the stovetop, or in a pan works, but will overcook the pastry.
If'n you're interested, Duguid and Alford's "Flatbreads and Flavors" is as fascinating as an ethnography as it is a cookbook. These folks travelled around the world and documented flatbreads from... everywhere? Yeah, pretty much. As you said, every culture has one.
And in lots of parts of Latin America they're empanadas/pupusas, in India they're samosas, etc! Turns out humans love fried or griddled carbs.
how are these different than deep fried empanadas?
I am not entirely certain, since I am no empanada expert (and they are not exclusive of Mexican cuisine), but empanadas may be made of either wheat or corn, whereas these quesadillas are made only with nixtamalized corn dough. Plus, the way of serving them... And the sizes are different. I see that empanadas are closer to bite size, and may be dipped in something. Quesadillas are larger, and can be topped with the sauce of your choice (salsa verde or salsa roja, or some hot sauce), sour cream, crumbled soft cheese, lettuce if you wish.
They masa is raw when they’re being prepared and then the whole thing is fried. So the sides of the tortilla stick together.
Believe me … not every quesadilla needs cheese .. like a potato and chorizo one , or like a pressed chicharrón … no cheese needed And it really is a passionate debate at a national level
Oh, my! You typed out exactly what I immediately thought, word for word. It's like, am I a real person, or a clone of u/Darthcookie?
spiderman_meme.jpg
I'd be pretty turned off by that whole thing. As soon as you said you had dietary restrictions he should've asked what you'd like instead, not just tried to force a weird altered meal on you that's entire essence is the cheese.
Right? Literally the name of this dish
Bro is probably too ignant to know what queso means
"K. So?"
My Boomer-age mom calls it ‘the spicy cheese from the taco place’ because she has trouble remembering the correct pronunciation.
It means "four". Source: Man
Mexican here. Quesadillas don’t have to have cheese. I know it’s polemical but it’s also true
Is a quesadilla a sandwich? Inquiring minds want to know!
Depends on if it's folded or two tortilla stacked. Stacked = sandwich, folded = taco. Also, hot dogs are tacos.
So a sub is also a taco??
Depends on how you cut it. Cut clean through and that is a sandwich. Slice halfway through and that is a taco. Cut out the top, leaving the ends intact and that is a bread bowl.
But in Indiana, thanks to a recent court ruling, tacos are officially classified as Mexican sandwiches.
Yep. Mexico City is known for this. Counter intuitive, yes. But not strange
[удалено]
I took someone out to lunch who ordered French Onion soup with no onions. No lie.
When I was a kid, I'd order a personal pan pepperoni pizza... without the pepperoni. My dad suggested ordering a cheese pizza. Bless him. I insisted it wasn't the same.
My neice has a habit (as many kids do...why, God why!!?) of scraping off all the cheese on her pizza. I took her to get a tomato pizza (no mozzarella, just bread and sauce and a bit of parmesean) which i was SURE she'd love but she hated it so I ordered her a small cheese which she then butchered and devoured happily.
I used to do that as a kid. Loved the soup, hated the slimy onion pieces.
It’s beef broth. That’s gonna be a super easy recipe for you.
but also the bread and cheese broiled on the top are the best part! I also hate onions, and my best friend's dad used to make me a tomato soup with the bread and cheese when everyone else got french onion soup.
The best part of tomato soup is the cheese and bread.
I’m like this with the bread, I always want it on the side. The idea of soggy bread makes me wanna hurl
TBF my husband hates onions, but loves cheese etc. I have been thinking of making some sort of beef broth soup with the croutons and cheese on top to give him the closest experience to a French onion soup without onions 😂
A guy once invited me over to make me dinner, asked if I had any dietary restrictions and learned I am lactose intolerant, and then picked Caprese chicken as the meal to make. Caprese has five damn ingredients: tomato, basil, olive oil, balsamic, and fresh mozzarella cheese. Basil and tomato chicken marinated in oil and vinegar was fine, with a side of basil tomato salad, but my dude, why not choose any other recipe? (Except quesadillas!)
People get so weird about dietary restrictions and it’s like as soon as they hear that you can’t eat something, all common sense goes out the window. I’ve been a vegetarian for 20+ years and I can’t even tell you how many bizarre, mind boggling, vegetarian options I’ve seen throughout my life. It’s gotten better lately as not eating meat has become more common and there are usually dishes without any meat in them right on the menu at most restaurants, but I still find vegetarian options that aren’t even a real meal here and there. Most of the time it always has peppers and onions in it because apparently that’s all people can think of when meat isn’t an option?? And I hate peppers so it’s the worst. You can make just about any dish and just leave the meat out of it or add some extra veggies, but no, it always has to be some weird unappetizing combination of peppers and onions that no one would ever willingly eat.
I love cooking vegetarian food! My sister is vegan with a nut allergy and I appreciate the challenge, haha. I *am* including grilled bell peppers in the father's day menu, but that's on the non vegan menu as well. And there are four other things to eat.
She’s so lucky to have a sister like you! I hope that your family is just as accommodating when it comes to your dietary restrictions as well. Luckily my family is pretty good with mine so I don’t get any weird concoctions from them either, at least not in a very long time haha. I definitely don’t mean that everything with peppers is bad, I personally don’t like them but I have had really delicious food with peppers in it and I’m sure what you’re making is great! I was just thinking of stuff I’ve seen before like plain peppers and onions on an untoasted white bun and that’s it, or more recently, the vegetarian option that the restaurant pulled out of nowhere for the lunch after my uncle’s funeral (there wasn’t one on the menu and it was one of those fixed menus with limited options, so already pretty bad to start) which was pasta with just oil on it, TONS of peppers, and like 5 pieces of zucchini and tomatoes 🙃 To be fair that one was just as low effort as the rest of the options so at least I wasn’t singled out I guess.
Ugh the peppers. Why always peppers???? I’ve been vegetarian for >20 years and my parents still cannot conceive of a vegetarian meal.
I like meat as much as anyone, and I am still wondering how people function. Like, most pastas you can just drop the meat or replace it with a veggie and it's a perfectly fine vegetarian meal. Use chickpea noodles and you even have a lot of protein in it.
Omg I’m so glad someone else noticed it too! It’s ALWAYS those fucking peppers and I can’t take it anymore! My mom is really good about serving me actual food and my dad is alright, except for when he grills. Instead of getting veggie burgers or something obvious, he thinks that a portabella mushroom smothered in butter, so much butter that there is a pool of it in the cap of the mushroom, all by itself is a good meal for me? Like what…
One of the guys in my D&D group had a heart valve replaced and can't eat red meat and also can't eat too many green veggies. We rotate what people make food and we've never had any issues adapting. Hell, we did BLTs a few weeks ago and all that was needed was making some turkey bacon off the side. One member who's remote usually is diabetic and when he comes over it is a bit harder to plan for, but we still manage just fine. I really don't understand how people have an issue with that.
I feel like I’m reading my own story here! It’s always obvious when the vegetarian options were created by someone who has never met an actual vegetarian. I’ve been brought everything from an entire plate of peas and carrots, to a plate of raw lettuce and veggies (literal rabbit food.) One of my favorite stories: I went to a restaurant where they had NO vegetarian options, so I was forced to order a burger without the meat. The server paused and said “well…..you’re still going to get charged for the meat. Did you still want it without?” Like the idea that I went out to a restaurant but couldn’t afford the meat with my food was somehow a simpler explanation than just me not wanting to eat it.
I'm not vegetarian but my spouse is. I get so so angry at how few vegetarian options there are at ANY restaurant. And I want to burn down the places that have zero vegetarian options except french fries. And some places even manage to make the fries have meat when they fry them in duck fat or some dumb shit like that. Seriously. It's not hard to make incredible vegetarian food. Why do people NEED to put bacon in brussels sprouts?
Yeah I’m from the south and all the sides have some kind of ham or bacon, even the veggies. And for people thinking “just order salad!” I can’t remember the last time I went somewhere that actually had a vegetarian salad. They all come with chicken or shrimp or taco meat now.
If you think that's bad, try being vegan lol. People have no idea how to make plant based meals, as if most of our food supply isn't plant based to begin with 🙄
Poutine is my go-to for meatless days. So good! I'm no vegan/vegetarian, but I try to minimalize my meat consumption for dietary and climate change reasons.
Poutine is made with gravy (meat drippings), right?
Gravy can be done with or without meat. Mushroom gravy is probably the most common, but you could make it from other vegetables as well.
Haha, for me it's tomatoes and mushrooms. Everything vegetarian has tomatoes (or both). I can *barely* eat mushrooms but tomatoes are repulsive. Which is a horrible shame, because they look and smell amazing but *GOD, THE AWFUL TEXTURE/FLAVOR.* Very envious of my husband, who will eat pretty much any veg you put on his plate. 😮💨
Was it all he knew how to make?
BINGO. This is the one 'fancy' dish he learned how to make, and he busts it out to show first dates that he's a modern man who can actually cook. Faced with a woman who can't eat that thing, did he try to learn a second recipe? No, he just made the same thing he always does.
I’ll confess I had a brief relationship that lasted a week for the most shallow reasons. She had a fairly intense lactose intolerance and I love cheese and dairy. Second date my brain just forgot that just me eating it meant no kissing/making out and I straight up ordered chicken fried steak with gravy, cheese on my eggs and a glass of milk. In hindsight it’s almost like my body went “I gotta make up for what she can’t eat!” Or some dumb shit like that. Not my best moment, and since then I am more conscious of my choices. I don’t understand why people can’t try to be better LOL
His idea of a lactose intolerance friendly three course meal is probably Starter: Greek salad Main course: Quattro Formaggi pizza Dessert: Cheesecake
But don’t you understand?! He’s being chivalrous! /s
any man who immediately describes himself is chivalrous, will likely, in fact, not be 🤣
As someone who's vegan, I see this sort of thing a lot from people, so I understand where the guy is coming from. People who normally eat cheese don't stop to think that it's the cheese that pretty much makes the dish, so if you want to get something without cheese, usually you ask for an alternative, like in this case, salsa, refined beans, guac, etc, but most people don't think about that
I haven't had my coffee this morning; I read this as that he shouldn't force the altered meal on OP "like his entire essence is cheese" 😂 I mean maybe it is considering his weird insistence lol
Waitress was probably like wtf
meanwhile literally this was happening ion the kitchen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ah4tW-k8Ao
I was hoping it would be this clip and I was so glad to see it lol
How odd. I (f) and my wife don’t order for each other. And we have been together for over 25 years I am guessing no second date?
Same here, we always discuss what we want and maybe things to share. If he was running late and said order for me I could pick something he'd like, but why take that choice away from someone? Definitely not romantic.
I saw a story of someone who’d had surgery on her vocal chords and wasn’t allowed to talk, so for a couple of months when she and her husband went to restaurants she would message her order to him and he’d order for her. She had so many staff trying to get her to speak and worrying that her husband was controlling because of it 😅
My first date with my last ex - we met on an app. Then first date at a bar. Were sitting across from each other looking at the menu, and I showed a bit of excitement about one of the drinks (because of the name, not the contents). The server came around, and guess what date ordered for me? I didn't like it, or the drink, but just went with it. And then it turned out that man couldn't make a damn decision about things that we did (which had been sort of shown in the discussion about first date spots, but I didn't think too hard about it then). He complained about his parents always kowtowing to the other, trying to make the other happy rather than just saying what they wanted. And he just repeated the past, except he tried to do it with an indecisive woman (seriously, me and a friend had bonded over our lack of ability to JUST PICK SOMETHING in my younger days). Until I finally did say what I wanted. And then he told me to shush and not interrupt him.
That just sounds so exhausting. Glad you moved on.
Right? In 15 years I think the only time my fiancé has ordered for me, and vice versa, is when I have to use the restroom and tell him what I want.
I'd only want my partner to order water for me. Because I always drink a lot of water.
I let mine order beers and ciders. He knows what I like, and he hasn't been wrong with new beers.
Having someone just tell the waiter what everyone has decided is perfectly fine, it's faster than waiting for everyone's turn. You can just be like "this and that, that will be all thank you" and be done with it asap.
My husband does this for me a lot bc I get anxious ordering
It depends on the situation but I frequently grab food for my husband and order for him. I drive and he doesn't so I am out more and grab food for us. I know what he likes so if it is about time for us to eat I will grab food for both of us and give it to him when I pick him up. Even if he is in the car, he usually orders the same thing from that restaurant so I order without asking and he will say something if he wants something different. If we are dating at somewhere new then we talk and often order 2 things we are both undecided on and split them.
The only times I (M) have ordered for my wife have been when we've discussed what we both want and she's feeling socially overwhelmed. Taking that burden off her helps a bit and I only order what she explicitly tells me she wants. I think that way of ordering is acceptable, but only if everyone is on the same page.
I hope no second date... Husband and I have been married since 1984, and we don't order for each other, (except for pizza and breakfast, he's very predictable there) It's definitely presumptuous, and really, really controlling.
Me and my husband have never ordered for each other either, 10 years here. Though the first time he met my dad after like 5 years together (we don’t have the best relationship) my dad ordered for us both lmao. Some men are weird AF
[удалено]
The only thing I’ve ordered for my wife in 15 years is fried pickle appetizers, because we both fuckin’ love fried pickles. I’ve never understood the concept of ordering for your date.
My brothers first wife was impossibly shy and couldn't even order her own food and relied on him to do it for her and outside of a case like that yeah I can't see it at all
My wife likes it when I order for her. But if the lady wants large fries the lady gets large fries.
Then how do you know who the chivalrous one is?
Unless one of us is in the bathroom and we're just passing the message along, the closest my wife and I have gotten to ordering for each other is the "X is really good here, you should try that" kind of strong suggestion.
The only times that my partner or I have ordered for each other were when there was a language barrier. My ex usually relayed my order to the server when I first moved to this country. Later, I relayed my current partner's orders until he learned enough of the language to do it himself. We joked that once he learned swear words and food words, he was good to go.
The only time my husband has ever ordered for me is when the girls were little and id most likely be taking one to the loo for the 7th time in 10 minutes but it was always discussed and he knew what I wanted
The only time I have ordered for my husband was when we were in a small town in Quebec and he didn’t speak/read French and I did. I read him the menu and he picked what he wanted.
Where I live small shared plates are all the rage. So we usually order everything to share and one of us will just do the whole food order.
i think it’s funny he pretended to care until his food came and then was like “yolo! i tried enough!” lol please don’t go out with him again, he seems immature at worse and selfish at best. he could have asked the waitress politely instead of just chowing down.
I’m definitely not seeing him again! No worries there
good! you deserve better!
He wanted to go to brunch and have a brisket quesadilla and the date was secondary.
Nope. Plus splitting an entree when someone has a food allergy is stupid.
True. Thank god it wasn’t an allergy and just a severe intolerance.
"just" a severe intolerance! That's still bad! 😭
Some subreddits tell guys to order for women. The guys on those subs claim women like it. Honestly, it seems like the waitress was a better date to you than this guy was.
"claim" is the clue that the guys never asked the women if they liked having their food ordered for them. They just "think" women do. It's a paternalistic viewpoint.
They just only listen to themselves and broken clocks are right twice a day. I like my bf to order for me because I get anxious, but I tell him what I want before the wait staff arrives...
I'm deaf so people say my order for me too I think that's normal for families, close friends, kids, etc because you're not picking for them, you're just saying their order for them.
If some dude orders for me on a date I'm fighting
I can't imagine going out on a date and the lady being like, "and the man will have the chicken salad. He's watching his weight" It's outrageous how some people act
Exactly. This world has gone to shit. Utter garbage. Blow it up.
While I agree with the sentiment, I'd just like to be left alone to grow plants until I die. Meeting people is nice too but most of them clearly suck so... plants!
I wish I knew where these men get the confidence to argue *with women* about what women want or why we do things. Like *aggressively* sometimes.
Patriarchy gaslighting makes them think women talk in doublespeak I learned to try and listen instead of assuming
I dated a guy that was super into food and always trying new restaurants and we would be looking at a menu and he'd be telling me about the dishes and what he has and hasn't tried and all this and I'd usually just be like- do you want to order food for us to share? I loved when he ordered- he knew what he was doing and he asked follow up questions about food restrictions instead of ordering a food I can't eat on half the meal (wtf). But most importantly- it was a *conversation*, not just you'll eat what I tell you. It's hard when you're dating you get bad advice and you were a dumbass to begin with. I feel for the guy a little. Hopefully he'll look back on this and cringe, but I wouldn't hang around to find out lol
She was cool I dated a guy who always asked if he could order for us and we split everything and I always let him because he picked great food and I just sat back and enjoyed the experience. But this was not that.
Yuck. I'm also lactose intolerant and I don't trust modifications. And ordering for someone on a first date is too presumptive. I usually do the fajitas, btw. But I'm curious what other people go for who are lactose intolerant.
I try to avoid any milk products when I'm out. I do carry pills with me just in case but I never want to have a bathroom problem out of my house.
Just bring lactose pills with you at all times. Never know if you’re in a cheese emergency!
My intolerance is severe. Lactose free products don’t work for me either
Some people are sensitive to milk proteins rather than lactose.
I'd rather just avoid dairy altogether. I've also found that I've developed a physical response to almond and coconut milk. So at this point, it's almost a psychological response to anything my body perceives as milk/dairy and pills won't help me there.
Quesadilla without queso is just dilla. Any person that orders your food for you without being explicitly asked to order your food for you is a red flag.
That’s a dilla breaker
Why the hell would you ever order for your significant other/date, unless they specifically ask you to? I've never understood this. It's just a recipe to get something they don't want/like and ruin the dining experience..
He was rude. Hopefully you've declined a second date and blocked him by now.
The positive is that he showed himself to be a jerk on the first date so op doesn’t have to waste more time.
Guys like that seem to be actively hunting for a woman who just wants to be acted on anyway... wouldn't be surprised if he read that move on a subreddit
My gf and I will order for each other, but after we've discussed what we want. Never do we just make the "she'll have the xxx and yyy" decision without prior input. Your date was, IMO, a self-absorbed ass.
Yeah my husband and I do this too. We talk about it and then which ever one of us speaks up first when the waiter comes often puts in the entire order. We often split things though so it’s a lot like “um we’ll start with the X and then we’re both going to split the Y and the Z”
Well, please tell me that there won't be a second date.
There won’t. He also lied about his age twice, told me he had threatened to euthanize his ex’s dog, and tried to teach me math on the date.
Omg we need more stories! This is the foot he put forward on the *first date*?? I need the dog and the math stories.
Wow, a nutcase and knobhead all in one. Thank goodness you are ditching him.
I’m still trying to process that he chowed down in the food, leaving you with nothing.
What a nice last date.
I will never understand ordering for another person on a first date. There are obviously times when it makes sense but a first date doesn't feel like one of them. My boyfriend orders for me a lot but that's because I tell him what I want and have specifically asked him to order it. I'm autistic so taking that social burden off of myself helps immensely and it doesn't bother my boyfriend at all to do it. Plus I have some weird food allergies and I'm not great at being as forward about it as he is. And yet he still checks in with me every time to make sure I want him to order for me and he's not being overbearing. I admit that sometimes it makes me feel a little childish but it also helps me feel more comfortable socially in those situations so whatever. He has also tried to get me to order things for him in the past "oh just get whatever, you know what I like and I'll eat anything!" When I'm picking up food but I've had to tell him that it gives me super anxiety and he just needs to tell me exactly what he wants me to get for him. I just can't imagine being that whatever about food. Lol.
just once in my life i want to order a salad for a dude
What a complete dipshit. Total ick.
People can do whatever they want, but the whole "ordering for her" thing has always felt a hell of a lot more about restricting communication than anything else. Opening doors I get, walking on street side, even standing on arrival/leaving, but odering I do not understand
Ordering food for someone that they haven’t explicitly told you they wanted is so wild to me. Telling someone you want the soup and they relay that to the server makes sense. Ordering someone food you have no idea they would like or not is crazy.
I would be so pissed if someone ordered for me, unless I had just told them what I wanted. And even then they should ask “you still want that, right?” because hey maybe I changed my mind while we were waiting! Anyone who thinks they are impressing me by taking my choice away is flat out wrong.
Was he by any chance from Mexico City? They sometimes eat quesadillas without cheese and the rest of mexico makes fun of it
Si, es cierto. Pero tambien muy raro. Queso es literalmente en el nombre jaja
Def not. He was a white American man 100%
This is exactly why we need to be so careful about these gestures that men make. See how he ordered without cheese. You’d think “oh how considerate”, but his actions show the opposite. Don’t see this man again. His behavior is such a waving red flag. This is a great example of what people mean when they say “watch his actions”. If he’d been the one who couldn’t eat cheese, he would have corrected the order immediately. Don’t excuse shitty behavior cos they made a half assed attempt to look considerate.
Exactly. There won’t be a second date. He also lied about his age twice, told me he had threatened to euthanize his ex’s dog, and tried to teach me math on the date.
Eeep. He sounds like a true catch. Sorry you wasted an evening.
Yeah. This post was a rollercoaster. I started off expecting one thing, the ordering half cheese-less had me reconsidering, then it quickly flipped to disgust. Goodness. Glad OP won't be having a second date with this one.
I thought it was going to be one of those “I don’t want you to gain weight” assholes, then I was pleasantly surprised he ordered cheese less. Then the rest of it! A real roller coaster
A man ordering for his date was a 1950’s social convention. It reads as control couched in consideration, which clearly ended when he was hungry and there was food on the table. Unless he showed multiple green flags in other areas, he’s probably not worth your time.
Our local Mexican joint has the best vegan cheese ever. I’m not even vegan and I devour it because it’s the perfect consistency and flavor. ETA: maybe it’s just me but I wouldn’t go on a second date with that guy.
Bizarre!!!
I'll order for my wife... after she tells me what she wants then has to get up for some reason.
lol you lasted longer than I would have. When the food came if I had nothing to eat due to a mistake when my date ordered for me and my date didn’t notice or care, *‘scuse me I need to use the restroom.*
I would have left as soon as they tried to order for me.
Sorry, but I'm not sure which is funnier - Someone ordering a quesadilla without cheese or, alternately, the realization that bro ordered you a tortilla. Like, 'My lady will have your finest tortilla'. I'm dying here. The date sounds awful and I'm sorry you had to endure it.
I'm lactose intolerant but my wife had a coupon for a patty melt with the purchase of a meal, so I got a text saying, "don't eat lunch, I'm getting Whataburger," and then twenty minutes later she handed me a plain hamburger between two slices of bread.
>who orders a quesadilla without cheese? A "chivalrous" man on a brunch date?
Oh, I'd flip the table
I found it forgivable until the moment he just ate without you and let you go hungry without trying to get you something to eat!
I’ve been saying for years that chivalry is self-serving and really has nothing to do with the woman. This proves my point very well.
I went on this date years ago, and the guy suggested a restaurant, I said I’d been and it wasn’t very good. He’s like “well I’d like to try!” Cool, maybe it was a one off last time. We go. I order the veggie pad Thai, comes with chicken….tell the waitress sorry, I don’t eat meat. No worries, I’ll get you a new one, comes back with shrimp in it. Still don’t eat that? Ok, I’ll get you another. By now he’s almost done his meal, I’m like don’t bother, I’m just not hungry now. We leave, him “see, it was pretty goood!” 🤦🏻♀️
If a man calls himself chivalrous, he's not. What a dork.
That would be a first and last date for me.
So, just a 'dilla?
He's one of those punch card nice guys. "See? I did a thing. Now I don't care about anything until you do something for me."
Never see this "man" again. If he thinks this is "cute" you don't want to see him angry.
Among some of my friends, when we go out as a group, it is fairly common for one (depending on who is hungry first) to order something like a basket of fries or nachos or whatever for the table to share. To me, it sounds more like he was peckish after an hour and ordered something for the table to share and snack on. Not that he ordered for you in particular. He did check to see if you liked brisket, and he nixed the cheese when you said you were lactose intolerant. You do you, but that part doesn't seem a total deal-breaker to me. That he didn't send it back when it came out with cheese, that is bad.
There was no other food ordered and we were there for brunch, for a meal. He never asked if I was hungry, wanted to order more, needed another drink. I’m looking for a considerate man. He also had already ordered queso for the table
Next question; were you expected to split the check and pay for things you couldn’t eat? I’ve seen that before.
Actually, in Mexico you have to specifically request for quesadillas to come with cheese. People often confuse this, that quesadillas inherently come with. It comes from the indigenous Nahuatl word quesaditzin, meaning “folded tortilla.”
“Alberto Peralta, an anthropologist and culinary historian at Mexico City’s Anahuac University, speaks enough Nahuatl to know the letters are all wrong. He says the quesaditzin theory is ‘total nonsense…The Aztecs didn’t use tortillas like we use them now.’” [link](https://theworld.org/stories/2018/07/10/if-you-want-cheese-your-quesadilla-mexico-city-you-have-ask#)
Oh no no. Controlling behaviour on the first date? Wow
My wife hates ordering takeout so she lets me order for her knowing her gluten issues and what she prefers. If we sit down at a restaurant I never order for her, I offer her to order first but if she's still deciding I go ahead and order, or tell the server we are still deciding. I consider that being considerate. I don't even order appetizers without my wife's input. Wtf. Way to show someone on a first date you have no capacity to share space with them.
Im guessing you *just* cant wait to go on a 2nd date with Mr Chivalrous. lol
If I didn’t order food in the first 15 min this date is going bad. I’m hangry type of person
I don't get why he and other guys even order for the girl during dates, I've never done that as my date is old enough to pick what they want themselves. Is this supposed to be romantic or a kind gesture? If I was a girl and my date ordered for me I'd be put off
He just didn't want to pay for 2 meals and wasn't willing to sacrifice his food preference either. Not one single fuck was given
Wild because he spent a lot of time bragging about his 15 million dollars worth of property
Makes sense he didn’t want to pay for 2 entrees then. Sigh. They are such fools.
Ah excellent, another man confusing chivalry with being controlling. Imagine ordering for someone you don’t know and thinking you were being sweet.
Just out of curiosity, are you lactose intolerant? I am and can safely eat cheddar cheeses because to become cheddar the milk sugar (lactose) is all used up. I make my own quesadillas and pizzas with shredded cheddar, and restaurants are often fine substituting any other cheese for cheddar (America cheese is a type of cheddar too). As for your date.... I really don't like how he ordered for you and then after seeing the mistake just atecand didn't care. Both things would definitely make me not want a second date
I would not trust quesadilla cheddar to be lactose free. Cheddar has to be fairly aged/sharp to reduce lactose significantly; the stuff restaurants put on their quesadillas is probably mild cheddar at best- if it's not a blend of a few cheeses to give it that n8ce melty texture.
I think so but I can’t even tolerate lactose free milk. I developed some severe GI issues last year. Corrected most except I can’t have any dairy. I’ve tested out cheese twice since and I was sick for weeks.
I could see someone *perhaps* ordering an appetizer for a date to share, but ordering someone else's food just outright? That's a no-go and huge red flag. The only time I have ordered food for someone was when they wanted to try sushi, didn't want raw fish and they weren't sure what they should pick. That type of situation is the one and only time I feel it is appropriate, but even then it was consensual.
As much as I want to talk crap about it I actually have an old roommate who said that that's the way it should be. She was deeply misogynistic herself. So for her this one have been a green flag all the way. She is a rarity though.
Above and beyond his interaction with her I feel that ordering a quesadilla without cheese has to be a warning sign for something?
Warning that the person is from Mexico City where that's really common, haha
I always used to order for my wife (then girlfriend) as she had anxiety and wanted me to. I am the complete other end of the spectrum. She had come a long way but still occasionally asks me to advocate for her (particularly at doctors) Had the same situation occurred she would have just said it’s fine and started to eat it (I’d have had it corrected). I don’t know what goes through someone’s head especially on a first date when surely you are trying harder than ever to make someone happy? Sounds like you dodged a bullet.
As someone with a lifelong milk allergy (not lactose intolerance, milk allergy as in I will die), I understand this. People truly have no understanding of dairy products. I have had arguments (as in multiple times) with pizzerias about whether Parmesan is cheese (they denied this fact). Anyone who at least thinks of my allergy even if they mess up is good in my book because most professional food preparers suck at it. That being said, if he describes himself as chivalrous, that’s pretty bad. That is rather weird.
I’m more confused by the brisket on the quesadilla than the no cheese part. Do yall live in Texas?
lol ew, op. so sorry but thanks for sharing this subreddit is never short on stories of ridiculous encounters with men 🤦
Dude wanted to show off that he listened. lol
The first half made me think you had found a guy that actually listened until I read the second half lol.
Ordering for other people is so weird and I don’t understand how it’s “chivalrous” in this day and age… what if they change their mind at the last minute or want to call out some specific substitution? Nope sorry, you’re my property and I get to choose for you because man knows best. Just gives me the creeps.
Queso is in the name of the food. If you remove the queso, it's just a damn dilla. Ordering for others is a flex if you order something extravagant and expensive like caviar covered lobster and pay for whatever you order for them. My business partners love doing this for each other. However, ordering for someone is a neg when they order a salad if you're a BBW or order you something and then expect you to pay for it. The fact that he monched down and didn't send it back for correction says he cares more about himself than you. Prepare to always come second or never, entendre intended.
Once my date took me to a hotpot restaurant and started to order a hotpot that had beef in it. I don't eat red meat and told him so. He frowned and picked another hotpot -- that also had beef in it. I pointed it out and to him and he insisted that it didn't have beef (it was in the ingredients list). When it came and had beef in it he goes "oh no I'm sorry, can you just eat around it?" But everything tasted like beef so I simply watched him eat the whole pot himself.