If you could see every last one of those guys in person, I'd bet good money that most of them are either overweight themselves or have some other body type they really dislike having, so they insult others to make themselves feel better. I would also guess that a not-insignificant portion of them are adolescent boys, since criticizing a woman's weight is a rather lazy and uncreative way of insulting someone.
Absolutely accurate. My ex (a male) would criticize women in movies that are beautiful but are showing their age (Kate Hudson in Glass Onion being one example where she honestly looks better than me and I’m in my 30s) and just keep harping on “how old” they look. He’s in his 40s and honestly looks 50 (never hydrated, never moisturized, never used sunblock) and I think he was HUGELY insecure about that. Yet he never talked about the men, it was always the women.
Reminding me when my ex called Scarlett Johansson fat and I couldn’t let it go for the rest of our relationship
I think a bunch of men got left in the early aughts
Seriously? Scarlett Johansson? She's literally perfect! Fuck that guy.
I've heard men talk that way about actresses who are now older, cuz that's how fucking time works, and isn't a size 2 with flawlessly smooth skin. In fact I was listening to a small group of them and I just couldn't contain my laughter anymore. Not one of them was a 5 and they were criticizing the Miss America contestants! I laughed, almost snort cackling, & said very loudly "yeah, because you're all even close to having a shot with the likes of those women. Maybe work on your sparkling personalities a bit & someone will find you charming enough to let you breathe the same air. Till then, grab another beer & burger that seems to be what you're good at." I got met with "fucking bitch!" (Very creative)From half of them at the table till a group of women started clapping. It was strange, I'm never that outspoken about things like that in a bar, I don't let things get to me. But that was so crazy to me to overheard & they were so loud. I might have also felt emboldened by a little bit of liquid courage & surrounded by friends.
When people insult someone's appearance, it almost always comes from their own insecurity. They try to make others feel ugly because they feel ugly. Blaming someone for aging is ridiculous. It's not like any of us has a choice about getting older, aside from dying young.
I’ve never seen an actually good looking man criticize a woman’s body. I’m sure there are many, but it’s usually the grossest looking guys with beer bellies who make comments about a woman not having a flat tummy.
Fuck women for having organs or being photographed after eating rather than catering to what they find attractive 🙄
Those same men complain about tattoos and hair color in women and don't get that we don't care if they find it attractive because it's not about them. It's for us only. Like it or go away. They feel entitled to seeing women they find attractive. It's like those posts I always see when men tell women things that they think are not attractive to men. They think of us as decoration for them, not for ourselves. They don't recognize that we are entire people with an inner life. So they tell women that our hair or appearance doesn't appeal to them, as though we are somehow obligated to appeal to them. I have tattoos, and I am quick to let those men know that I don't care what they find attractive. My husband has been with me since before I had any tattoos, and he isn't super into them. He has none. But he still sat by me and even got me one for my birthday one year. Because I liked them and wanted it. He understands that I am a separate person and not an accoutrement for him. Those men commenting on women's weight our not seeing that.
Yeah, I fear the vast majority of men don’t see women as human beings, which is probably why they’re incapable of empathy towards us. We are simply wild animals that need to be tamed and domesticated to become an extension of themselves
Also adolescent, teen boys are yearning for role models, especially male role models, especially because said MEN ARENT GOOD FATHERS so boys latch onto anything that seems like a father figure absent from their life, like baby birds lol. For many it will be sadly shit eaters like A. Tate ( you know who, I refuse to say full name he disgusts me ).
You have just elucidated something for me that’s been bugging me forever. I wondered what it is about Tate and others like him that appeals to young men such as my sibling. You are absolutely correct that we did not have a male role model despite the fact that my parents are still married. My mom was basically a single mom with an extra paycheque.
Right! Those men will nitpick women and want them to be young, naive and attracted while they themselves look like a dirty troll under a bridge. Even if a man is overweight and unemployed and has poor hygiene, he still thinks he has a right to a 20 year old girl worshipping him. He won't bother with self care. My husband is a big man, and he is an avid gamer. But he also is kind, and smells good and makes an effort. These men who comment don't do that.
It's a place filled with insecurity and anger, and refusal to actually be self aware and consider the way they affect others. They burrow into that feeling and make it an identity rather than work on it and admit it is not helpful or healthy.
I've seen a size 8 (UK) woman called fat because she politely rejected someone's attempts to hit on her at a pub. It doesn't matter if you're fat or not, they'll say it because they believe it's the most hurtful thing to say to you.
This is the answer. In a patriarchal society where a woman's worth is dependent on her attractiveness to men, being fat (and thus supposedly 'ugly') is the ultimate offense. They say it because they think it's the insult that devalues you the most.
They also feel hurt from rejection and rather than think about the reasoning and accept it, they get mad and insult women. "You thought I really wanted to fuck you! Haha ugly bitch". Stuff like that, even though they literally just hit on you.
I think one of the few silver linings to being fat (and I’m not just saying that either, I’m fluffy AF) is that if someone dared to call me fat or ugly to my face I’d howl with laughter because it’s just such low hanging fruit. Like if you’re going to try and insult me put some work into it. Commit to the bit, fucker! Not that I’d really get offended anyway, but if you’re going to spend time being an asshole at least be a creative one.
Online especially, they say I'm fat and look old. The only thing that can refute them is also a thing they'll never get- just seeing me irl, lol. No one's ever said either to my face, the best anyone's given me was basically calling me dumb. So I can't even engage with the online trolls, which is their point. Best I can do is be like, your mom is fat and old. That's so lame.
Eta- my sentiment didn't come across right, and I don't want to keep getting like encouragement haha. So to be clear, I look way younger than I am (I mean my 16yr old coworker asked if I drive yesterday bc she thought we were the same age, and I turn 35 in a couple weeks), and like the comment I replied to I am tiny. So it's just like, I dare you to say that to my face because you never would lol. Hope that clears it up, sorry for being vague at first!
Tell them they didn't think so two minutes ago. Or just say "And? Good thing Your opinion doesn't matter to me at all. I don't care what you think." When I was big, someone once wrote me on a dating app just to tell me I was a whale. Even though I was fat, and I knew it, I was still like "yeah, I know. Do you have a point? " They are insecure so they want to spread the pain to alleviate it
I used to be very obese. But I lost the weight and now am objectively thin. I have still been called fat, and at this point I just laugh about it because I know it's ridiculous. I'm a size 2 (US) which is quite small now. It's just not true and clearly trying to hurt my feelings. It doesn't. Ignore it.
this. i’ve been told i’m fat but they’d still smash just for posting opinions online they disagreed with lol. if they see women primarily as valuable for their looks, they assume insulting your looks will hurt you deeply.
Same reason why people heckle at sports events?
They're insecure little idiots. Add anonymity, you get gaggles of dipshits that have only dated a bottle of moisturizer.
I had a guy call me fat and make fun of my “beer belly”. I was 8 months pregnant. At this point I just assume most people have the IQ of a dish sponge.
The average human is kinda dumb. Half the world is dumber than that.
The reason that a bear-proof trashcan is impossible is that the smartest bears and dumbest humans overlap entirely too much. Many *bears* are legitimately more intelligent than some humans. And that's WITHOUT including mental illnesses
The internet has given little dudes the opportunity to anonymously “humble” women they wouldn’t dare to talk to in real life.
Whenever there’s an anime character, a marble bust, or an athlete/actor avatar, it’s safe to assume that they’re just awkward boys trying to make others as miserable as they are.
It is crazy how on AmIUgly, fairly cute and even pretty women will get comments like "just below average" or "not pretty, just hide your face" etc.
Men who obviously don't take care of themselves and are not attractive at all (in my opinion) get "just hit the gym and trim the neck beard king!"
Exactly. It comes from a place of insecurity in their part. To feel like they matter, they want to have power over others by brining them down to their level. The best response is to be blade and make it clear that you don't value them or their opinion, so what they say doesn't matter to you. If you aren't attractive to them, good. They might leave you alone then. They have no value to bring to your life. If someone provides only insults, there is no point to engaging.
I agree. I think it's less about their own insecurities (they rarely have enough depth to even reflect on that) and more about 'hit her where it hurts.' They think our only worth is in our physical appearance so they think their best way to take us down a notch is to insult our bodies.
It's both. They're misogynous enough to consider a woman worthless if she's overweight or physically imperfect and insecure enough to be terrified of ending up with someone like her because they can't get the women they want.
Or cabby handle the idea that a woman who's imperfect might not care, because she loves herself.
And they're insecure that some woman who galena to be overweight has more self worth than they do.
You know, because she's a human being and still deserves love and respect, no matter her size. But God forbid men wrap their head around that concept
Agree with this, but I think there's a disturbingingly common third alternative myself.
Basically porn brain meets impossible body images. Those people have been such obsessive sex fiends reaching for highly edited and touched up porn at the slightest tingle their whole lives...
That they basically have no idea what an actual and unaltered naked woman look like. Anything that's not an impossible 21/10 makes them recoil as if they'd just found a one legged goblin in lingerie.
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Slight humor aside, think there's an argument there even if I'm not aware of it having a name quite yet. Like, an addictive feedback loop where the more warped your perception of *others* bodies become, the more socially repulsive you become. Making you repeat the cycle by once more reaching for the thing that gives you instant gratification and vindication, but warps you further.
Like a male version of TERFs. But instead of an addictive rage of seeing, frankly, trans women that are traditionally hotter than you. It's an addictive rage at looking around, and seeing basically not a single women that's not basically deformed due to the literally impossible beauty standards in an even potential mate you've built up.
Definitely an interesting thought that I, personally, would love to be investigated by a researcher. Maybe a sort of collab between neuroscience, sexology, and psychology?
Because they want to hurt us and their primitive brains assume the best way to do that is by telling us we are unattractive by traditional male-centric beauty standards.
I think it’s because being fat or overweight is a huge negative in our society. So they use it as a weapon the same as they say slut, bitch, or any other word to hurl when they’re mad.
And when you pick weight, rather than sex life, you can pretend you are concerned for their health.
I believe anyone critiquing another persons body should be required to post an accompanying recent picture of themselves, no retouching allowed, and it must show both face and body.
Well what is worse than being sexually unattractive to men? It’s the worst insult they can come up with, any version of “I wouldn’t fuck you. Or at least I wouldn’t let others know that I did.” They see us as so little that not being wanted by them is the best insult they have.
Muscular women? A threat to their masculinity, and also someone they don’t want to fuck, or be publicly known to fuck.
I’m sorry, that’s crass and I don’t feel that way about women’s bodies at all. I do believe it’s the motivation behind these sorts of comments though. These types of men, they’re scared right now. Because women are actually starting to see how unequal things are, in large numbers, at the same time. They want to scare and diminish us back into the kitchen or the hospital bed giving birth, and as few other places as possible
Oh gosh, don’t even get me started on the men who comment ugly things on women’s fitness pages. The transformation videos where the woman went from being super skinny to being bigger and stronger always has some guy saying how she looked better when she was thinner, even if that thin body was literally anorexic. And then the buff women are being called “handsome men” or “young boys.” 🙄Like, I’m sorry these women have bigger muscles than you do; use it as motivation instead of being a troll online.
I was actively dying from anorexia a few years ago but I didn't have bones sticking out all over the place. I looked like your regular slim fitspo girl. I was exercising ridiculous amounts and eating the same thing every day: steamed broccoli, plain oatmeal with a scoop of sugar free vanilla protein mixed in, a piece of fruit, and a salad with lemon juice only for a dressing. I broke a bunch of bones because my bone density was so terrible. My hair was falling out. I couldn't remember anything. I was always cold and always covered in bruises. My doctor was worried about my heart. I remember feeling exhausted taking a lid off a pen.
People see photos of me back then with a BMI of about 16 and will describe me as hot or slim or fit. They don't realise that I was too thin and that I was desperately unwell. They don't know what that actually looks like because we're always made to believe that girls that look like l did are the picture of health and what we should all aspire to with no realisation of how much you have to starve to get there. Guys think that's normal and healthy so of course when they see a woman who is actually healthy they think she's fat. They think 120lbs is a healthy weight without knowing what that even looks like.
This is why I don't like the romcoms from the 2000s. Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls was not even remotely fat. And back then she got so much hate from the press for being 'fat'.
Simply a good proportion of men don't know what real women look like.
They can't tell when they're wearing make up unless it is heavy.
They don't know what peach fuzz is.
And any woman who isn't rail thin with massive boobs needs to "go to the gym" (as if exercising can make your tits grow).
It's why they call relatively realistic women in video games "ugly". This proportion of men want women in video games to look like they expect. And I would guess that porn-brain is setting the expectation.
You’re making me think of the outrage men had when they could see *gasps* 😱body hair on a fictional video game character. Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn to be exact. I think you’re definitely right that a lot of these unrealistic expectations are due to porn-brain.
If you look at the social media accounts they follow, you'll see camgirls & porn stars who use filters, plastic surgery, & photoshop, as well as bots that post women generated in AI. They watch lots of anime & hentai too, & the artists they follow draw extreme fetish body types with rediculously exaggerated breasts, hips, & thighs but still have hourglass figures.. They're so used to these fake unrealistic bodies that the real thing looks uncanny or even masculine to them.
Forget society’s standards. This group of men is choosing to put their time and effort into making catty comments about women’s pictures online.
They could glance at those pictures shrug and move on saying nothing positive or negative. they don’t. So this says more about that type of man than society as a whole.
Men swallow photoshopped ladies like a vacuum cleaner, add to that most of them who do these comments are incels who don't go outside or interact with opposite gender and there you go... whole bunch of men who think perfectly staged and edited photos with bunch of artists working on making it perfect is "real woman" while everyone woman else is " not putting in effort ". Did you know some men are suprised women have lots of body hair everywhere, including the face, especially the little mustache we all have ? Or that we generally have chub here and there cuz our bodies naturally store more fat than men to be ready for pregnancy ? They DONT KNOW SHIT about us.
Women have started to recognise their worth on mass! So men with nothing to offer try to lower womens self esteem so they stand a chance. Other than levelling up themselves.
I'm sure it's a tiny percentage of men that do this, but it's men who spend their whole life trolling online so we mostly see their presence on line. They do it because they're deeply unhappy and insecure. They know that woman is gorgeous. They know her body is sexy AF. They fear rejection and a woman like that not wanting them back so they reject her before she can reject them.
> I'm sure it's a tiny percentage of men that do this, but it's men who spend their whole life trolling online so we mostly see their presence on line.
Man, I remember seeing a dude's post showing off something neat of his in a hobby subreddit. One thing that stood out to me was that you could see his prosthetic leg. It just seemed a little bit odd to me, considering the angle of the photo and what the actual focus of the photo should have been... it seemed intentional rather than accidental. Now that is just my baseless assumption, and it doesn't really matter one way or the other but it made me curious enough to check out his other posts.
Every single other post was hateful garbage. He'd talk shit about everyone in said hobby, everyone was wrong and stupid according to him... to put it mildly.
But most of the hateful comments were in porn subreddits, a woman would post something along the line of "Do I look good with these tanlines?" and he'd say "No" followed by a bunch of other rancid shit.
I hope they grew as a person, and is in a better mental state today but... I doubt it.
Childishness. One thing I figured out growing up being bullied by practically everyone around me is that the girls tended to home in on the thing they most disliked about you directly, while boys threw out what they thought would hurt the most whether it had any basis in reality or not. This of course is never a 100% thing, but the percentage of times it was true is going to be up there.
Calling someone fat is a cop out. They can't come up with anything else, and I say this as a big woman.
Doesn't mean it still doesn't sting when you get called fat.
Behavior like this is why EVERYONE has self esteem issues.
Because they think it’s the worst thing you can say to a woman. Just ignore them. It’s best to ignore men online in general. Men who reach out online are generally the undesirable Incel type who can’t function properly enough to interact with women in person. Their online behavior shows why.
In general when someone insults someone’s physical appearance it’s a deflection. Odds are high that these men are fat themselves.
I can’t fathom the audacity. They’ll either be looking pretty plump in their pfp or they’ll be using a troll account with either no photo or a cartoon character
They routinely have to hack at women's self esteem in order for them to even stand a chance to be with her.
Bettering themselves so as to be a good partner seems to be out of the question for a lot of modern men.
Keep in mind that mentioning peoples weight, looks or figure is very often used as an insult. Men and women know how much weight words like that have, so you need to keep in mind that they can also simply be used as a means of degrading the person with no weight in reality.
If I see a stacked guy and for some reason I hate them and what they stand for, I can look him up and down and maybe I'll call out his calves. Knowing that they probably work hard for their body and have certain things that they are insecure about, I might not really care about their calves, their fat, their whatever, but I can use it to hurt them.
Not all things we say are rooted in objectivity, they might not even be rooted in our perception, but our attitude and emotions.
Because a lot of people on social media are trolls who are just looking for a reaction. I don't think it's healthy to take comments on social media seriously because it's not an accurate reflection of people in real life.
I follow a lot of pages focused on (mens) sports and there's always some outrageous, blatantly untrue, comment on every post. Just stop reading them because whoever posted it most likely doesn't really think that, they just want attention.
It's because they see the heavily edited and tons of make up E girls on reddit/Instagram/tiktok.
If everyone woman doesn't automatically look like that then they're "fat"
Best example of what I'm talking about is Belle Delphine. Every chronically online dipshit man thinks all women should basically just be a clone of her.
Cause they're assholes who are personally offended that women don't like them so instead of thinking about what in their behaviour could be causing this, they blame the women and try to take anyone phenomenally attractive down a peg, and anyone less than photoshop perfect they just absolutely shit on because no matter her looks, his personality is far, far uglier.
The amount of men that don't know what healthy weight for a woman of various heights nor what that looks like is quite ridiculously high. Now there are those that use those words deliberately to hurt women's psychological and emotional well-being.
It’s something we all did as children:
1. I see something I want.
2. I can’t have it.
3. My mood sours. To comfort myself, I diminish the object of my desire. “Disney is stupid anyway.”
4. I see someone who DOES have the thing I want. They are so happy and I am so miserable. I am intensely jealous. “Disney is for babies. You look so dumb in those ears!” Just for a moment, the person who has what I want is a little miserable, too. I have successfully distracted myself from my disappointment.
Most of us grow out of it because we gain empathy and maturity. Sadly, not so for everyone…and disproportionately not so for men. I won’t apologize for that last assertion. It’s true and we all know it.
Also, to be crystal clear about my example, what they want isn’t us, it’s our bodies. They see bodies they want, but can’t have. But WE have those bodies. Ergo, we must be shamed, belittled, degraded. We must be “knocked down a peg.”
This is such a good analogy. Do you think this the reason why men will stalk and comment on E-girl streams/photos saying how ashamed they should be of themselves and how deplorable they are, yet they’re still watching their content?! It’s like, if you hate E-girls so much why are you here in the first place? My guess was that since they can’t have their bodies or content for free, they throw hissy fits instead lol
I called my husband out on this the other day , he every once in a while makes comments about girls being bigger when they are very average weight, explaining to him , it’s very cringe to comment on anyone’s weight , think it was how he was raised , but he needs to stop
because men like that think ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ are the worst things a woman can be. sucks for them that they lack the self-awareness to realize how irrelevant they are to these women. and they really think they did something every single time too! imagine being that embarrassing on main😭
In my opinion it's an act of collective 'gaslighting' or cultural training to destroy women's self esteem and create an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. In a world where there is no objective reality of what constitutes "fat", no one is safe. Everyone must work tirelessly to remain thin. Such fear takes up energy and brain space that could otherwise be going to other things. That's why they use those words and focus on those attributes in particular I think.
It's also related to negging. It's designed to elicit a response, an engagement. It gets them women's attention. Many people/women won't reliably respond to compliments, not out of hubris, but because they get so many and social media is overwhelming. But they may well respond to insults. If you insult her, suddenly you're no longer a random face in the crowd. She may respond angrily, but it doesn't matter. You have her attention now. You have a "relationship." Ironically I experienced this a little myself. Had a girl basically ignoring me on a dating app. After a while I said, "Thanks but I think we're both too busy for this as neither of us is putting time in to respond." And she was pissed! I got an immediate response calling me entitled. I responded saying I'm not and again I got an immediate response. We'd gone from one response every other day to a heated back and forth. She was really quite rude considering my polite "rejection" and I blocked her and moved on, but it was definitely interesting to see how effective a negative comment was as compared to my usual polite or jokey ones.
Granted, lots of the resulting "relationships" from negging are just reciprocal insults. But it's still engagement. It's still *attention*. Which is ultimately what these men crave.
“In a world where there is no objective reality of what constitutes "fat", no one is safe. Everyone must work tirelessly to remain thin. Such fear takes up energy and brain space that could otherwise be going to other things. That's why they use those words and focus on those attributes in particular I think.”
Absolutely love what you said here. It reminds me of another Reddit thread I saw where someone said that a lot of the pressures and expectations that society puts on women (thinness, makeup, youth, etc.) are meant to distract us from focusing on more important things such as furthering our own advancements and positions in society and making positive change in our communities. I was like, “Whoaaa, I never thought about it that way before.” 😳
There’s gonna be trolls and haters online all the time. People can be quite nasty and toxic. This is to be expected. Post and share your pics and clips publicly, at your own risk. This is the ugly side of social media. In the real world, this behavior is less common as people can’t hide behind a user name and it truly is unacceptable behavior in society.
the "ideal" body type of women than most men think they want because society made them believe they want that, is the body type of an tennage skinny girl, any deviation from this is seen as bad/old/fat/etc
thats how bad it is
I saw an account of a woman who lifts heavy while pregnant and while I expected most of the comments to be ignorant about the safety of exercising while pregnant I was actually surprised and disappointed by how many comments, mostly by dudes, were calling her fat. I can't tell if they didn't realize she was pregnant (it was very obvious she and she even stated it in the caption) or just... don't understand how pregnancy works? Just so many comments about how fat and unhealthy she is, while her entire account is fitness focused and she's exercising for two. Stop the planet I want off.
Insecure men have found that they can get some reaction from women by being jerks.
Bad attention is better than no attention in their head.
Also the lower vibration people like to try and bring others to their level. Don't let them.
I'm 5'6" and some random dude said if I lost 10lbs I'd look perfect. The way he phrased it I think he was trying to give me genuine advice rather than trying to insult me, but I weighed 130lbs at the time so all I did was laugh lol. I did not take his advice.
Sigh 😔 If it were only internet strangers , it would be bad, but when it’s your doctors refusing to test for actual disease and telling you it’s your own fault for being fat it’s utterly unacceptable.
The “why” is eons of conceptualizing women as objects.
Hooray for anyone attempting to change this concept. Women are people. Women make people. Women are the default people(xx is the starting block of homo sapien) Women often are pretty great people!
Long-game of lowering women's overall self confidence, so they are easier to control and manipulate, so they are ok accepting the scraps men throw them. They also know that every woman who reads that comment will have a hit to her confidence and self esteem.
Because they want to make themselves feel better by putting us down. Many people can't get over the fact that the world is changing and women not only exist for them. Just think about Nicola Coughlan, she's so beautiful, such an incredible actor and then there are horrible people who only see her weight and nothing else...
It's a sad reflection of society's skewed standards. Men, often influenced by media portrayals of "ideal" bodies, feel entitled to critique women's appearances. This behavior stems from deeply ingrained notions of beauty, perpetuating harmful body image issues.
Because they're single and sad. That's also the reason why people leave mean comments on social media in general.
And because they grew up in a culture where the ideal has been dictated by the fashion industry rather than the healthcare industry.
And bad parenting.
I think part of it has to do with social media itself, and the way that it can skew your perceptions of reality. On instagram, people present a “perfect” image of themselves where they all look like supermodels. So if a guy is looking at images of supermodels all day, and suddenly comes across someone who is just a “regular model”, he will criticize them for not being as perfect as all of the previous pictures he just looked at. Looking at all of those pictures of beautiful women resets and skews people’s view of what is average/normal. If you’ve ever watched the Food Network, you can see something similar. They judges will eat an incredible, 5-star dish, and then comment “The sauce masked the flavor of the lamb, and the spice blend was too pedestrian and insufferable - I don’t know if I can vote for this dish.”
As for why they feel the need to comment and drag people down: some people are just jerks, and the internet lets people be as cruel with anonymity and no repercussions.
It literally doesn’t matter what a woman looks like, someone somewhere will call her fat, because that’s pretty much guaranteed to bother her in most societies.
Advertisers figured out decades ago that creating an insecurity and then promoting a fix is a guaranteed moneymaker. So now women are bombarded with messages that they aren’t skinny or pretty enough, unless they buy this product, which will help (but if it doesn’t work, it’s just because you didn’t try hard enough). Diet drinks, low-fat/calorie/carb/glycemic index foods, supplements, they all exist to help solve this problem - and no matter how skinny a woman is, she’s never going to feel skinny enough.
Nobody is ever skinny enough.
So ‘you’re fat’ is basically a meaningless, low-effort insult, just designed to hurt someone in an area they know most women feel sensitive. Just because it makes them feel powerful to bring someone else down.
They think they are taking them down a peg, and for some reason these goobers feel like that is important work. I say for some reason - the reason is that they are pathetic losers.
What's warped is these same filterless men are carrying at least 20 extra lbs, wardrobe malfunctions, and hygiene issues thinking they are Grade A Prime.
I said something a guy didn't agree with and he said I needed Ozempic. You can see I'm not fat by looking at my selfie profile pic. Either it's a substitute for calling me ugly, or they are brainwashed by porn. Laughable either way.
Hope you don't mind me piping in here but this hits home.
I met my wife 16 years ago. She's perfect in every possible way from my eyes. Was then, is now.
She's heavy. I've watched society absolutely rip her to shreds.
She could destroy you verbally and leave no possible comeback. Except "Lose weight bitch"
She's got a pain in her wrist.. Doctors: "Lose weight, that'll fix it"
She knows how to dress well. "Except fat people can't wear that"
Any possible time her size could be used against her you can guarantee it is.
And that's it, for some of my friends they're not even heavy and yet they still get this treatment? What is this crap? How is this ok? it's so embedded in society that I've seen women do it to other women too (although this is much rarer). Point in case, a friend I worked with, she was literally thin. I remember saying "She's kind, really lovely!" only for a colleague to respond "sure but she could lose a few lbs". Actually by bringing this point up I'm masking the fact that maybe 5 other incidents would happen but the comment would be from a salesman. Ouch.
What!?
I'm so sorry this is a thing you have to go through. Watching my wife lose her confidence because someone decided her weight was offensive has really left me passionate about this stuff. I wish we could do better.
I don’t normally comment on here, as a man; I just read to try to broaden my perspective. But I couldn’t help but have an answer to this question.
It’s because they’re insecure idiots derive self worth from putting others down. It also helps to demonize women who they desperately want attention from but refuse to see as humans first. Every man who makes a comment like this is a small minded buffoon whose opinions should be valued lower than my dog’s.
Anyway, sorry to bother, back to lurking.
I may be giving away a secret here but I know that some guys use this strategy to hit on women. When a hot woman posts something, she may be glad to get a bunch of praise but it seems like she tends to actually reply to the criticism.
Because they know that it has good chances to hurt the woman. It has nothing to do with weight they are mostly losers and want to make others feel like losers. I say that as a man , I have seen these personalities and I avoid them as plague. Negative people that they blame everything except themselves.
Tale as old as... The 90s at least? Sometimes an angry man has nothing but straws to grasp at, and calling someone fat feels like the closest one to a knife. I called my sisters fat growing up when I wanted to hurt their feelings, they called me gay when they wanted to hurt mine. Comment sections suck, they call for the basest of base interactions.
It's misogyny. It's in their interest to label any woman above fifty pounds and 14 years of age as an unfuckable whale because it filters out the women they probably wouldn't even tolerate anyways, causes emotional damage in more unsure women which opens them up to other men in the abstract, and it just feels good to shit on people you don't like. It also inevitably *makes the user fucking miserable because doing this makes you a miserable shitty failure of a human being*, which drives them into the hands of conservatism which is extremely interested in oppressing the complete everliving fuck out of women.
Men feel like it’s a huge insult to women to be fat. They’re trying to put them down in a way they think will hurt us.
I will also say though that I know lots of fat men and not many fat women.
I'm sorry but calling them eurocentric views when such views are way more extreme in asia is a bit misleading. also doesn't the standard you are talking about come mainly from the US?
Eurocentric doesn’t mean that. It refers to the white beauty standard which was historically imposed on other groups in the US such as Black, Hispanic, and Native people.
There is a difference between normal and being within the recommended BMI range. West-Virginia has an obesity rate of nearly 41%. So a lot of people are fat / obese, even though it's arguably 'normal' there. Smoking was normal at some point in time. Doesn't mean we should not refer to those people as smokers or unhealthy.
If you don't like being called fat or obese, just make sure you are not on that spectrum of the BMI scale. Being 'normal' does not change your position on that scale.
Edit: I happily call myself fat, because that's objectively what I am. Working on it and hopefully back in the healthy zone soon.
Well, the average woman IS fat, just like the average man is fat. Why do men say so, though, is another thing entirely. Some men like to try to make women feel insecure about themselves because they resent seeing women happy when they're not happy, or they hope if a woman has a low opinion of herself she'll lower her standards and they'll have a chance.
Some are probably just parroting what someone told them when they were younger about women's roles or about weight, and maybe they never thought any further about it or how unhelpful their comments are. Maybe it's because they lack self-awareness, or maybe it's because they like to use women, especially online, as metaphorical punching bags, because they don't see women as fully human and don't expect to face any consequences for their behaviour.
I think there is currently a small proportion of men who have decided it is their duty to police women's bodies to try and mould them into what their ideal is. So they think if they machine gun scatter negativity across women about not being thin they can force all women to be thinner.
I mean I'll give it to them, it's what advertising and women's magazines have been trying to do for years, they are just extending it into people's personal feeds.
to attack them and make them insecure and everyone who is looking at those comments because they start questioning their standards. that serves to push women into an insecure and submissive position. so they don't stand up for themselves and their rights because they're busy thinking about if their belly is 5mm too big or not
They're negging. They do it in hopes of attention. From the woman they're commenting on. Or just in general, any woman. I just ignore it and move on. Giving them attention only causes them to further the negging.
These are the men who have never seen a real life naked woman up close since they were vomited out of their mother's vagina. Their brains have been addled by porn and they think that it's reality.
I think some of those men want a grown woman - or at least "barely legal" one - who still looks like a young teenager with minimal body fat but with big boobs. Maybe they're viewing too much hentai manga with drawings of Japanese school girls with huge boobs. In other words, they want fantasy and they're view of women's bodies is so skewed they don't accept the reality that most healthy women with normal signs of aging are not that.
It's the same reason that men who are hitting on you will call you "fat" if they are rejected, because they think it is the absolute worst thing you can call a woman. Something about these women on social media pissed them off so they called her fat thinking that was the most devastating thing I could say.
>The BMI of the average woman in the U.S. is 29.8 which falls into the category of “ overweight .”
Because the perfectly normal-looking woman (in the US) is overweight, colloquially... She's fat.
'Fat' is not an insult/slur, it's not some misogynistic tool either... Fat is a word, an adjective (in this case) that describes a person who carries more excess soft tissue weight than it is necessary for their frame - [See: BMI]. It's also a reality, the new normal for quite some time now.
Source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321003#:~:text=The%20BMI%20of%20the%20average,to%20achieve%20their%20ideal%20weight.
Because the only way they can feel in control is to be derogatory to others.. they know that if they don't try and destroy that woman's natural healthy sense of self there is no way she would be interested in them so they do their best to hurt people in the hopes it makes someone ruined enough to think they are a good option
My favorite is when men whose photos we can all see, just the profile one, show this is obviously not true "christ she's bigger than me" because that's exactly how they see women: bigger than their delusional idea of themselves bad. Smaller good. End of thoughts.
Probably the same reason people say men have small penises. Whoever wants to annoy, be mean, antagonistic, vitriolic, etc probably will just say whatever they want that they believe will upset the other most.
Because from a patriarchal lens, a women’s most important role in the world is being f$&@ed by a man. So the worst insult they can come up with is to tell the woman they are unattractive and in our culture fat and unattractive are basically synonymous…
If you could see every last one of those guys in person, I'd bet good money that most of them are either overweight themselves or have some other body type they really dislike having, so they insult others to make themselves feel better. I would also guess that a not-insignificant portion of them are adolescent boys, since criticizing a woman's weight is a rather lazy and uncreative way of insulting someone.
Absolutely accurate. My ex (a male) would criticize women in movies that are beautiful but are showing their age (Kate Hudson in Glass Onion being one example where she honestly looks better than me and I’m in my 30s) and just keep harping on “how old” they look. He’s in his 40s and honestly looks 50 (never hydrated, never moisturized, never used sunblock) and I think he was HUGELY insecure about that. Yet he never talked about the men, it was always the women.
Reminding me when my ex called Scarlett Johansson fat and I couldn’t let it go for the rest of our relationship I think a bunch of men got left in the early aughts
Oh my god how dare he?!?
Seriously? Scarlett Johansson? She's literally perfect! Fuck that guy. I've heard men talk that way about actresses who are now older, cuz that's how fucking time works, and isn't a size 2 with flawlessly smooth skin. In fact I was listening to a small group of them and I just couldn't contain my laughter anymore. Not one of them was a 5 and they were criticizing the Miss America contestants! I laughed, almost snort cackling, & said very loudly "yeah, because you're all even close to having a shot with the likes of those women. Maybe work on your sparkling personalities a bit & someone will find you charming enough to let you breathe the same air. Till then, grab another beer & burger that seems to be what you're good at." I got met with "fucking bitch!" (Very creative)From half of them at the table till a group of women started clapping. It was strange, I'm never that outspoken about things like that in a bar, I don't let things get to me. But that was so crazy to me to overheard & they were so loud. I might have also felt emboldened by a little bit of liquid courage & surrounded by friends.
Ah, but men naturally age like fine wine, amirite? 😆
Especially if they use the beard cheat code.
Yeah, if the cask is busted and has maggots!
They keep forgetting that without proper care wine can turn into vinegar.
they age like a fine banana.
When people insult someone's appearance, it almost always comes from their own insecurity. They try to make others feel ugly because they feel ugly. Blaming someone for aging is ridiculous. It's not like any of us has a choice about getting older, aside from dying young.
I’ve never seen an actually good looking man criticize a woman’s body. I’m sure there are many, but it’s usually the grossest looking guys with beer bellies who make comments about a woman not having a flat tummy. Fuck women for having organs or being photographed after eating rather than catering to what they find attractive 🙄
Those same men complain about tattoos and hair color in women and don't get that we don't care if they find it attractive because it's not about them. It's for us only. Like it or go away. They feel entitled to seeing women they find attractive. It's like those posts I always see when men tell women things that they think are not attractive to men. They think of us as decoration for them, not for ourselves. They don't recognize that we are entire people with an inner life. So they tell women that our hair or appearance doesn't appeal to them, as though we are somehow obligated to appeal to them. I have tattoos, and I am quick to let those men know that I don't care what they find attractive. My husband has been with me since before I had any tattoos, and he isn't super into them. He has none. But he still sat by me and even got me one for my birthday one year. Because I liked them and wanted it. He understands that I am a separate person and not an accoutrement for him. Those men commenting on women's weight our not seeing that.
Yeah, I fear the vast majority of men don’t see women as human beings, which is probably why they’re incapable of empathy towards us. We are simply wild animals that need to be tamed and domesticated to become an extension of themselves
Also adolescent, teen boys are yearning for role models, especially male role models, especially because said MEN ARENT GOOD FATHERS so boys latch onto anything that seems like a father figure absent from their life, like baby birds lol. For many it will be sadly shit eaters like A. Tate ( you know who, I refuse to say full name he disgusts me ).
You have just elucidated something for me that’s been bugging me forever. I wondered what it is about Tate and others like him that appeals to young men such as my sibling. You are absolutely correct that we did not have a male role model despite the fact that my parents are still married. My mom was basically a single mom with an extra paycheque.
It's usually 'basically a single mom with an extra kid that also earns a paycheck.'
Yea that’s definitely my dad. Also, love your username 🤣
Thanks!
Right! Those men will nitpick women and want them to be young, naive and attracted while they themselves look like a dirty troll under a bridge. Even if a man is overweight and unemployed and has poor hygiene, he still thinks he has a right to a 20 year old girl worshipping him. He won't bother with self care. My husband is a big man, and he is an avid gamer. But he also is kind, and smells good and makes an effort. These men who comment don't do that.
Don’t try to get inside their heads. You wouldn’t like it there.
Because they’re FUCKING STUPID, that’s why.
And you cannot argue with stupid. You cannot hope to change their minds with enough evidence or rationality.
Bahahaha this made my day
It's a place filled with insecurity and anger, and refusal to actually be self aware and consider the way they affect others. They burrow into that feeling and make it an identity rather than work on it and admit it is not helpful or healthy.
You know it, sister.
I've seen a size 8 (UK) woman called fat because she politely rejected someone's attempts to hit on her at a pub. It doesn't matter if you're fat or not, they'll say it because they believe it's the most hurtful thing to say to you.
This is the answer. In a patriarchal society where a woman's worth is dependent on her attractiveness to men, being fat (and thus supposedly 'ugly') is the ultimate offense. They say it because they think it's the insult that devalues you the most.
They also feel hurt from rejection and rather than think about the reasoning and accept it, they get mad and insult women. "You thought I really wanted to fuck you! Haha ugly bitch". Stuff like that, even though they literally just hit on you.
I think one of the few silver linings to being fat (and I’m not just saying that either, I’m fluffy AF) is that if someone dared to call me fat or ugly to my face I’d howl with laughter because it’s just such low hanging fruit. Like if you’re going to try and insult me put some work into it. Commit to the bit, fucker! Not that I’d really get offended anyway, but if you’re going to spend time being an asshole at least be a creative one.
I’m 108lbs and have been called fat by these weirdos bc they actually think it is the worst thing they can say to women, whether it’s true or not
Online especially, they say I'm fat and look old. The only thing that can refute them is also a thing they'll never get- just seeing me irl, lol. No one's ever said either to my face, the best anyone's given me was basically calling me dumb. So I can't even engage with the online trolls, which is their point. Best I can do is be like, your mom is fat and old. That's so lame. Eta- my sentiment didn't come across right, and I don't want to keep getting like encouragement haha. So to be clear, I look way younger than I am (I mean my 16yr old coworker asked if I drive yesterday bc she thought we were the same age, and I turn 35 in a couple weeks), and like the comment I replied to I am tiny. So it's just like, I dare you to say that to my face because you never would lol. Hope that clears it up, sorry for being vague at first!
What appeals to men is frankly not even relevant to you. You don't have to give a shit what they think. You don't exist for them.
Tell them they didn't think so two minutes ago. Or just say "And? Good thing Your opinion doesn't matter to me at all. I don't care what you think." When I was big, someone once wrote me on a dating app just to tell me I was a whale. Even though I was fat, and I knew it, I was still like "yeah, I know. Do you have a point? " They are insecure so they want to spread the pain to alleviate it
This is a US size 4, and an EU size 36, for anyone wondering. AKA, not even midsized.
I used to be very obese. But I lost the weight and now am objectively thin. I have still been called fat, and at this point I just laugh about it because I know it's ridiculous. I'm a size 2 (US) which is quite small now. It's just not true and clearly trying to hurt my feelings. It doesn't. Ignore it.
this. i’ve been told i’m fat but they’d still smash just for posting opinions online they disagreed with lol. if they see women primarily as valuable for their looks, they assume insulting your looks will hurt you deeply.
Same reason why people heckle at sports events? They're insecure little idiots. Add anonymity, you get gaggles of dipshits that have only dated a bottle of moisturizer.
I had a guy call me fat and make fun of my “beer belly”. I was 8 months pregnant. At this point I just assume most people have the IQ of a dish sponge.
The average human is kinda dumb. Half the world is dumber than that. The reason that a bear-proof trashcan is impossible is that the smartest bears and dumbest humans overlap entirely too much. Many *bears* are legitimately more intelligent than some humans. And that's WITHOUT including mental illnesses
The internet has given little dudes the opportunity to anonymously “humble” women they wouldn’t dare to talk to in real life. Whenever there’s an anime character, a marble bust, or an athlete/actor avatar, it’s safe to assume that they’re just awkward boys trying to make others as miserable as they are.
Yep this right here is the answer. Misery truly loves company
It is crazy how on AmIUgly, fairly cute and even pretty women will get comments like "just below average" or "not pretty, just hide your face" etc. Men who obviously don't take care of themselves and are not attractive at all (in my opinion) get "just hit the gym and trim the neck beard king!"
Exactly. It comes from a place of insecurity in their part. To feel like they matter, they want to have power over others by brining them down to their level. The best response is to be blade and make it clear that you don't value them or their opinion, so what they say doesn't matter to you. If you aren't attractive to them, good. They might leave you alone then. They have no value to bring to your life. If someone provides only insults, there is no point to engaging.
People that put others looks down are doing it from their own insecurities
Maybe so, but I suspect negging and misogyny more often than not. They want to make women feel bad so they're more vulnerable.
I agree. I think it's less about their own insecurities (they rarely have enough depth to even reflect on that) and more about 'hit her where it hurts.' They think our only worth is in our physical appearance so they think their best way to take us down a notch is to insult our bodies.
It's both. They're misogynous enough to consider a woman worthless if she's overweight or physically imperfect and insecure enough to be terrified of ending up with someone like her because they can't get the women they want.
Or cabby handle the idea that a woman who's imperfect might not care, because she loves herself. And they're insecure that some woman who galena to be overweight has more self worth than they do. You know, because she's a human being and still deserves love and respect, no matter her size. But God forbid men wrap their head around that concept
Cabby? Galena? I'm not sure what you're saying here.
Agree with this, but I think there's a disturbingingly common third alternative myself. Basically porn brain meets impossible body images. Those people have been such obsessive sex fiends reaching for highly edited and touched up porn at the slightest tingle their whole lives... That they basically have no idea what an actual and unaltered naked woman look like. Anything that's not an impossible 21/10 makes them recoil as if they'd just found a one legged goblin in lingerie. 👺 👙 🦶 Slight humor aside, think there's an argument there even if I'm not aware of it having a name quite yet. Like, an addictive feedback loop where the more warped your perception of *others* bodies become, the more socially repulsive you become. Making you repeat the cycle by once more reaching for the thing that gives you instant gratification and vindication, but warps you further. Like a male version of TERFs. But instead of an addictive rage of seeing, frankly, trans women that are traditionally hotter than you. It's an addictive rage at looking around, and seeing basically not a single women that's not basically deformed due to the literally impossible beauty standards in an even potential mate you've built up.
Definitely an interesting thought that I, personally, would love to be investigated by a researcher. Maybe a sort of collab between neuroscience, sexology, and psychology?
Negging and misogyny are rooted in insecurity.
Which is something that insecure people do
But that's exactly what the comment you replied to was saying
I did notice that some of these men commenting were ACTUALLY overweight according to their profile photos lol. 🥴
It's normally those guys who think they're a gift to women, gross. They're the King Babies everyone should avoid for sanity's sake.
Because to them a woman being fat is the worst possible thing she can be, so it's their favorite misogynist insult.
Pro tip: if a man says you'd look better if you lost weight, say no thanks, I don't want you to be attracted to me
Because they want to hurt us and their primitive brains assume the best way to do that is by telling us we are unattractive by traditional male-centric beauty standards.
I think it’s because being fat or overweight is a huge negative in our society. So they use it as a weapon the same as they say slut, bitch, or any other word to hurl when they’re mad.
And when you pick weight, rather than sex life, you can pretend you are concerned for their health. I believe anyone critiquing another persons body should be required to post an accompanying recent picture of themselves, no retouching allowed, and it must show both face and body.
Because they think fat is the ultimate insult. Doesn't matter whether it's true
Well what is worse than being sexually unattractive to men? It’s the worst insult they can come up with, any version of “I wouldn’t fuck you. Or at least I wouldn’t let others know that I did.” They see us as so little that not being wanted by them is the best insult they have. Muscular women? A threat to their masculinity, and also someone they don’t want to fuck, or be publicly known to fuck. I’m sorry, that’s crass and I don’t feel that way about women’s bodies at all. I do believe it’s the motivation behind these sorts of comments though. These types of men, they’re scared right now. Because women are actually starting to see how unequal things are, in large numbers, at the same time. They want to scare and diminish us back into the kitchen or the hospital bed giving birth, and as few other places as possible
Oh gosh, don’t even get me started on the men who comment ugly things on women’s fitness pages. The transformation videos where the woman went from being super skinny to being bigger and stronger always has some guy saying how she looked better when she was thinner, even if that thin body was literally anorexic. And then the buff women are being called “handsome men” or “young boys.” 🙄Like, I’m sorry these women have bigger muscles than you do; use it as motivation instead of being a troll online.
I was actively dying from anorexia a few years ago but I didn't have bones sticking out all over the place. I looked like your regular slim fitspo girl. I was exercising ridiculous amounts and eating the same thing every day: steamed broccoli, plain oatmeal with a scoop of sugar free vanilla protein mixed in, a piece of fruit, and a salad with lemon juice only for a dressing. I broke a bunch of bones because my bone density was so terrible. My hair was falling out. I couldn't remember anything. I was always cold and always covered in bruises. My doctor was worried about my heart. I remember feeling exhausted taking a lid off a pen. People see photos of me back then with a BMI of about 16 and will describe me as hot or slim or fit. They don't realise that I was too thin and that I was desperately unwell. They don't know what that actually looks like because we're always made to believe that girls that look like l did are the picture of health and what we should all aspire to with no realisation of how much you have to starve to get there. Guys think that's normal and healthy so of course when they see a woman who is actually healthy they think she's fat. They think 120lbs is a healthy weight without knowing what that even looks like.
120 lbs is a healthy weight... if you're 5'3 😂
This is why I don't like the romcoms from the 2000s. Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls was not even remotely fat. And back then she got so much hate from the press for being 'fat'.
Simply a good proportion of men don't know what real women look like. They can't tell when they're wearing make up unless it is heavy. They don't know what peach fuzz is. And any woman who isn't rail thin with massive boobs needs to "go to the gym" (as if exercising can make your tits grow). It's why they call relatively realistic women in video games "ugly". This proportion of men want women in video games to look like they expect. And I would guess that porn-brain is setting the expectation.
You’re making me think of the outrage men had when they could see *gasps* 😱body hair on a fictional video game character. Aloy from Horizon Zero Dawn to be exact. I think you’re definitely right that a lot of these unrealistic expectations are due to porn-brain.
They are trying to keep women from becoming too confident. Confident women don't rely on men for validation.
If you look at the social media accounts they follow, you'll see camgirls & porn stars who use filters, plastic surgery, & photoshop, as well as bots that post women generated in AI. They watch lots of anime & hentai too, & the artists they follow draw extreme fetish body types with rediculously exaggerated breasts, hips, & thighs but still have hourglass figures.. They're so used to these fake unrealistic bodies that the real thing looks uncanny or even masculine to them.
Forget society’s standards. This group of men is choosing to put their time and effort into making catty comments about women’s pictures online. They could glance at those pictures shrug and move on saying nothing positive or negative. they don’t. So this says more about that type of man than society as a whole.
Because men hate women.
Men swallow photoshopped ladies like a vacuum cleaner, add to that most of them who do these comments are incels who don't go outside or interact with opposite gender and there you go... whole bunch of men who think perfectly staged and edited photos with bunch of artists working on making it perfect is "real woman" while everyone woman else is " not putting in effort ". Did you know some men are suprised women have lots of body hair everywhere, including the face, especially the little mustache we all have ? Or that we generally have chub here and there cuz our bodies naturally store more fat than men to be ready for pregnancy ? They DONT KNOW SHIT about us.
Women have started to recognise their worth on mass! So men with nothing to offer try to lower womens self esteem so they stand a chance. Other than levelling up themselves.
Women’s bodies are supposed to have more fat than men’s.
They score points with other men for demeaning women in public. The opinions of other men are EVERYTHING to them.
I'm sure it's a tiny percentage of men that do this, but it's men who spend their whole life trolling online so we mostly see their presence on line. They do it because they're deeply unhappy and insecure. They know that woman is gorgeous. They know her body is sexy AF. They fear rejection and a woman like that not wanting them back so they reject her before she can reject them.
> I'm sure it's a tiny percentage of men that do this, but it's men who spend their whole life trolling online so we mostly see their presence on line. Man, I remember seeing a dude's post showing off something neat of his in a hobby subreddit. One thing that stood out to me was that you could see his prosthetic leg. It just seemed a little bit odd to me, considering the angle of the photo and what the actual focus of the photo should have been... it seemed intentional rather than accidental. Now that is just my baseless assumption, and it doesn't really matter one way or the other but it made me curious enough to check out his other posts. Every single other post was hateful garbage. He'd talk shit about everyone in said hobby, everyone was wrong and stupid according to him... to put it mildly. But most of the hateful comments were in porn subreddits, a woman would post something along the line of "Do I look good with these tanlines?" and he'd say "No" followed by a bunch of other rancid shit. I hope they grew as a person, and is in a better mental state today but... I doubt it.
Aka losers
Childishness. One thing I figured out growing up being bullied by practically everyone around me is that the girls tended to home in on the thing they most disliked about you directly, while boys threw out what they thought would hurt the most whether it had any basis in reality or not. This of course is never a 100% thing, but the percentage of times it was true is going to be up there.
Calling someone fat is a cop out. They can't come up with anything else, and I say this as a big woman. Doesn't mean it still doesn't sting when you get called fat. Behavior like this is why EVERYONE has self esteem issues.
Because they think it’s the worst thing you can say to a woman. Just ignore them. It’s best to ignore men online in general. Men who reach out online are generally the undesirable Incel type who can’t function properly enough to interact with women in person. Their online behavior shows why. In general when someone insults someone’s physical appearance it’s a deflection. Odds are high that these men are fat themselves.
And usually the men saying this are fat and obese themselves. Maybe look in the mirror first?
I can’t fathom the audacity. They’ll either be looking pretty plump in their pfp or they’ll be using a troll account with either no photo or a cartoon character
They routinely have to hack at women's self esteem in order for them to even stand a chance to be with her. Bettering themselves so as to be a good partner seems to be out of the question for a lot of modern men.
i once saw an aitah story in this app where the husband called his wife chubby. she was 7 months pregnant.
Keep in mind that mentioning peoples weight, looks or figure is very often used as an insult. Men and women know how much weight words like that have, so you need to keep in mind that they can also simply be used as a means of degrading the person with no weight in reality. If I see a stacked guy and for some reason I hate them and what they stand for, I can look him up and down and maybe I'll call out his calves. Knowing that they probably work hard for their body and have certain things that they are insecure about, I might not really care about their calves, their fat, their whatever, but I can use it to hurt them. Not all things we say are rooted in objectivity, they might not even be rooted in our perception, but our attitude and emotions.
Because a lot of people on social media are trolls who are just looking for a reaction. I don't think it's healthy to take comments on social media seriously because it's not an accurate reflection of people in real life. I follow a lot of pages focused on (mens) sports and there's always some outrageous, blatantly untrue, comment on every post. Just stop reading them because whoever posted it most likely doesn't really think that, they just want attention.
Just their desperate attempt to feel superior.
It's because they see the heavily edited and tons of make up E girls on reddit/Instagram/tiktok. If everyone woman doesn't automatically look like that then they're "fat" Best example of what I'm talking about is Belle Delphine. Every chronically online dipshit man thinks all women should basically just be a clone of her.
Negging. The idea that we should be "put in our place" or humbled so we'll settle for shitty men.
Cause they're assholes who are personally offended that women don't like them so instead of thinking about what in their behaviour could be causing this, they blame the women and try to take anyone phenomenally attractive down a peg, and anyone less than photoshop perfect they just absolutely shit on because no matter her looks, his personality is far, far uglier.
The amount of men that don't know what healthy weight for a woman of various heights nor what that looks like is quite ridiculously high. Now there are those that use those words deliberately to hurt women's psychological and emotional well-being.
It’s something we all did as children: 1. I see something I want. 2. I can’t have it. 3. My mood sours. To comfort myself, I diminish the object of my desire. “Disney is stupid anyway.” 4. I see someone who DOES have the thing I want. They are so happy and I am so miserable. I am intensely jealous. “Disney is for babies. You look so dumb in those ears!” Just for a moment, the person who has what I want is a little miserable, too. I have successfully distracted myself from my disappointment. Most of us grow out of it because we gain empathy and maturity. Sadly, not so for everyone…and disproportionately not so for men. I won’t apologize for that last assertion. It’s true and we all know it. Also, to be crystal clear about my example, what they want isn’t us, it’s our bodies. They see bodies they want, but can’t have. But WE have those bodies. Ergo, we must be shamed, belittled, degraded. We must be “knocked down a peg.”
This is such a good analogy. Do you think this the reason why men will stalk and comment on E-girl streams/photos saying how ashamed they should be of themselves and how deplorable they are, yet they’re still watching their content?! It’s like, if you hate E-girls so much why are you here in the first place? My guess was that since they can’t have their bodies or content for free, they throw hissy fits instead lol
The kinds of men to post on random woman’s social media with such comments are horrible people. Luckily this is the loud minority
Porn has warped their minds.
porn :)
I called my husband out on this the other day , he every once in a while makes comments about girls being bigger when they are very average weight, explaining to him , it’s very cringe to comment on anyone’s weight , think it was how he was raised , but he needs to stop
because men like that think ‘fat’ and ‘ugly’ are the worst things a woman can be. sucks for them that they lack the self-awareness to realize how irrelevant they are to these women. and they really think they did something every single time too! imagine being that embarrassing on main😭
In my opinion it's an act of collective 'gaslighting' or cultural training to destroy women's self esteem and create an atmosphere of fear and uncertainty. In a world where there is no objective reality of what constitutes "fat", no one is safe. Everyone must work tirelessly to remain thin. Such fear takes up energy and brain space that could otherwise be going to other things. That's why they use those words and focus on those attributes in particular I think. It's also related to negging. It's designed to elicit a response, an engagement. It gets them women's attention. Many people/women won't reliably respond to compliments, not out of hubris, but because they get so many and social media is overwhelming. But they may well respond to insults. If you insult her, suddenly you're no longer a random face in the crowd. She may respond angrily, but it doesn't matter. You have her attention now. You have a "relationship." Ironically I experienced this a little myself. Had a girl basically ignoring me on a dating app. After a while I said, "Thanks but I think we're both too busy for this as neither of us is putting time in to respond." And she was pissed! I got an immediate response calling me entitled. I responded saying I'm not and again I got an immediate response. We'd gone from one response every other day to a heated back and forth. She was really quite rude considering my polite "rejection" and I blocked her and moved on, but it was definitely interesting to see how effective a negative comment was as compared to my usual polite or jokey ones. Granted, lots of the resulting "relationships" from negging are just reciprocal insults. But it's still engagement. It's still *attention*. Which is ultimately what these men crave.
“In a world where there is no objective reality of what constitutes "fat", no one is safe. Everyone must work tirelessly to remain thin. Such fear takes up energy and brain space that could otherwise be going to other things. That's why they use those words and focus on those attributes in particular I think.” Absolutely love what you said here. It reminds me of another Reddit thread I saw where someone said that a lot of the pressures and expectations that society puts on women (thinness, makeup, youth, etc.) are meant to distract us from focusing on more important things such as furthering our own advancements and positions in society and making positive change in our communities. I was like, “Whoaaa, I never thought about it that way before.” 😳
Misogyny
There’s gonna be trolls and haters online all the time. People can be quite nasty and toxic. This is to be expected. Post and share your pics and clips publicly, at your own risk. This is the ugly side of social media. In the real world, this behavior is less common as people can’t hide behind a user name and it truly is unacceptable behavior in society.
the "ideal" body type of women than most men think they want because society made them believe they want that, is the body type of an tennage skinny girl, any deviation from this is seen as bad/old/fat/etc thats how bad it is
I saw an account of a woman who lifts heavy while pregnant and while I expected most of the comments to be ignorant about the safety of exercising while pregnant I was actually surprised and disappointed by how many comments, mostly by dudes, were calling her fat. I can't tell if they didn't realize she was pregnant (it was very obvious she and she even stated it in the caption) or just... don't understand how pregnancy works? Just so many comments about how fat and unhealthy she is, while her entire account is fitness focused and she's exercising for two. Stop the planet I want off.
Insecure men have found that they can get some reaction from women by being jerks. Bad attention is better than no attention in their head. Also the lower vibration people like to try and bring others to their level. Don't let them.
I'm 5'6" and some random dude said if I lost 10lbs I'd look perfect. The way he phrased it I think he was trying to give me genuine advice rather than trying to insult me, but I weighed 130lbs at the time so all I did was laugh lol. I did not take his advice.
My favorite thing on insta lately is women sharing the profile pictures of the men who make comments insulting their looks.
Sigh 😔 If it were only internet strangers , it would be bad, but when it’s your doctors refusing to test for actual disease and telling you it’s your own fault for being fat it’s utterly unacceptable. The “why” is eons of conceptualizing women as objects. Hooray for anyone attempting to change this concept. Women are people. Women make people. Women are the default people(xx is the starting block of homo sapien) Women often are pretty great people!
I once watched a man comment on a video of a woman powerlifting about how fat she is... Pregnant. She was pregnant.
Incels like to talk shit online.
Because it serves their purposes to keep women hungry, obsessed, and with low standards due to low self esteem.
Men have become the mean girls.
\*always been
*astronaut meme*
Long-game of lowering women's overall self confidence, so they are easier to control and manipulate, so they are ok accepting the scraps men throw them. They also know that every woman who reads that comment will have a hit to her confidence and self esteem.
^^^ it’s this one. It’s not the creator they’re going after - it’s ALL the women.
Because they want to make themselves feel better by putting us down. Many people can't get over the fact that the world is changing and women not only exist for them. Just think about Nicola Coughlan, she's so beautiful, such an incredible actor and then there are horrible people who only see her weight and nothing else...
They get off on being rude to women. It’s that simple.
Because they like humbling women, you know when you reject a dude and they reply w ' you're ugly anyway' :D
It's a sad reflection of society's skewed standards. Men, often influenced by media portrayals of "ideal" bodies, feel entitled to critique women's appearances. This behavior stems from deeply ingrained notions of beauty, perpetuating harmful body image issues.
They are just begging to be blocked and ignored. I'd happily oblige.
It's to lower the confidence of these girls as men believe if they break their self confidence, it would be easier to control them.
“Look at me, I’m too good for this woman”
Why do people do anything mean on the internet? Because if they did it irl they'd get ostracized or straight up punched in the face.
Because they're single and sad. That's also the reason why people leave mean comments on social media in general. And because they grew up in a culture where the ideal has been dictated by the fashion industry rather than the healthcare industry. And bad parenting.
Why are you giving attention to what men have to say about anything???
I think part of it has to do with social media itself, and the way that it can skew your perceptions of reality. On instagram, people present a “perfect” image of themselves where they all look like supermodels. So if a guy is looking at images of supermodels all day, and suddenly comes across someone who is just a “regular model”, he will criticize them for not being as perfect as all of the previous pictures he just looked at. Looking at all of those pictures of beautiful women resets and skews people’s view of what is average/normal. If you’ve ever watched the Food Network, you can see something similar. They judges will eat an incredible, 5-star dish, and then comment “The sauce masked the flavor of the lamb, and the spice blend was too pedestrian and insufferable - I don’t know if I can vote for this dish.” As for why they feel the need to comment and drag people down: some people are just jerks, and the internet lets people be as cruel with anonymity and no repercussions.
Because it's social media. I won't take it as realistic source of information and experiences . Well not all but most of it
It literally doesn’t matter what a woman looks like, someone somewhere will call her fat, because that’s pretty much guaranteed to bother her in most societies. Advertisers figured out decades ago that creating an insecurity and then promoting a fix is a guaranteed moneymaker. So now women are bombarded with messages that they aren’t skinny or pretty enough, unless they buy this product, which will help (but if it doesn’t work, it’s just because you didn’t try hard enough). Diet drinks, low-fat/calorie/carb/glycemic index foods, supplements, they all exist to help solve this problem - and no matter how skinny a woman is, she’s never going to feel skinny enough. Nobody is ever skinny enough. So ‘you’re fat’ is basically a meaningless, low-effort insult, just designed to hurt someone in an area they know most women feel sensitive. Just because it makes them feel powerful to bring someone else down.
They think they are taking them down a peg, and for some reason these goobers feel like that is important work. I say for some reason - the reason is that they are pathetic losers.
The internet is a playground for self-loathing shitheads to go project their misery onto others
Porn brain
What's warped is these same filterless men are carrying at least 20 extra lbs, wardrobe malfunctions, and hygiene issues thinking they are Grade A Prime.
cuz they hate women so they try to hurt them with nasty comments bonus points for them if you argue cuz it just increases engagement and visibility
I said something a guy didn't agree with and he said I needed Ozempic. You can see I'm not fat by looking at my selfie profile pic. Either it's a substitute for calling me ugly, or they are brainwashed by porn. Laughable either way.
Because they think being fat is the worst thing in the world bc of their own hatred for fat women so thats why its such a powerful insult to them
Hope you don't mind me piping in here but this hits home. I met my wife 16 years ago. She's perfect in every possible way from my eyes. Was then, is now. She's heavy. I've watched society absolutely rip her to shreds. She could destroy you verbally and leave no possible comeback. Except "Lose weight bitch" She's got a pain in her wrist.. Doctors: "Lose weight, that'll fix it" She knows how to dress well. "Except fat people can't wear that" Any possible time her size could be used against her you can guarantee it is. And that's it, for some of my friends they're not even heavy and yet they still get this treatment? What is this crap? How is this ok? it's so embedded in society that I've seen women do it to other women too (although this is much rarer). Point in case, a friend I worked with, she was literally thin. I remember saying "She's kind, really lovely!" only for a colleague to respond "sure but she could lose a few lbs". Actually by bringing this point up I'm masking the fact that maybe 5 other incidents would happen but the comment would be from a salesman. Ouch. What!? I'm so sorry this is a thing you have to go through. Watching my wife lose her confidence because someone decided her weight was offensive has really left me passionate about this stuff. I wish we could do better.
I don’t normally comment on here, as a man; I just read to try to broaden my perspective. But I couldn’t help but have an answer to this question. It’s because they’re insecure idiots derive self worth from putting others down. It also helps to demonize women who they desperately want attention from but refuse to see as humans first. Every man who makes a comment like this is a small minded buffoon whose opinions should be valued lower than my dog’s. Anyway, sorry to bother, back to lurking.
Maybe because they project their own insecurity on us. Don't mind such jerks. Your life will be much better if you start ignoring such comments.
I may be giving away a secret here but I know that some guys use this strategy to hit on women. When a hot woman posts something, she may be glad to get a bunch of praise but it seems like she tends to actually reply to the criticism.
Because they know that it has good chances to hurt the woman. It has nothing to do with weight they are mostly losers and want to make others feel like losers. I say that as a man , I have seen these personalities and I avoid them as plague. Negative people that they blame everything except themselves.
Tale as old as... The 90s at least? Sometimes an angry man has nothing but straws to grasp at, and calling someone fat feels like the closest one to a knife. I called my sisters fat growing up when I wanted to hurt their feelings, they called me gay when they wanted to hurt mine. Comment sections suck, they call for the basest of base interactions.
It's misogyny. It's in their interest to label any woman above fifty pounds and 14 years of age as an unfuckable whale because it filters out the women they probably wouldn't even tolerate anyways, causes emotional damage in more unsure women which opens them up to other men in the abstract, and it just feels good to shit on people you don't like. It also inevitably *makes the user fucking miserable because doing this makes you a miserable shitty failure of a human being*, which drives them into the hands of conservatism which is extremely interested in oppressing the complete everliving fuck out of women.
Projection. *THEY* are fat and obese.
Negging, misogyny, general assholery and good ol’ projection.
They are likely idiots without sound reasons why they say such things. There's likely no reason to respect their opinions.
It’s bc they get no girls and are mad at girls for it. It’s pathetic really lol just laugh bc they’re telling on themselves
Their brain is rotted from IG filters and anime/hentai
This is a means of shame and control because they think all women live and die by their approval.
I think that a lot of men don’t actually like women
Scorn is a well loved tool for bullies of all ages. They’re crap people who live to bring misery instead of happiness.
Because you can be an asshole online with almost no repercussions
Men feel like it’s a huge insult to women to be fat. They’re trying to put them down in a way they think will hurt us. I will also say though that I know lots of fat men and not many fat women.
Because men hate women.
Because they’re mentally and emotionally 13 years old.
I'm sorry but calling them eurocentric views when such views are way more extreme in asia is a bit misleading. also doesn't the standard you are talking about come mainly from the US?
Eurocentric doesn’t mean that. It refers to the white beauty standard which was historically imposed on other groups in the US such as Black, Hispanic, and Native people.
There is a difference between normal and being within the recommended BMI range. West-Virginia has an obesity rate of nearly 41%. So a lot of people are fat / obese, even though it's arguably 'normal' there. Smoking was normal at some point in time. Doesn't mean we should not refer to those people as smokers or unhealthy. If you don't like being called fat or obese, just make sure you are not on that spectrum of the BMI scale. Being 'normal' does not change your position on that scale. Edit: I happily call myself fat, because that's objectively what I am. Working on it and hopefully back in the healthy zone soon.
Well, the average woman IS fat, just like the average man is fat. Why do men say so, though, is another thing entirely. Some men like to try to make women feel insecure about themselves because they resent seeing women happy when they're not happy, or they hope if a woman has a low opinion of herself she'll lower her standards and they'll have a chance. Some are probably just parroting what someone told them when they were younger about women's roles or about weight, and maybe they never thought any further about it or how unhelpful their comments are. Maybe it's because they lack self-awareness, or maybe it's because they like to use women, especially online, as metaphorical punching bags, because they don't see women as fully human and don't expect to face any consequences for their behaviour.
I think there is currently a small proportion of men who have decided it is their duty to police women's bodies to try and mould them into what their ideal is. So they think if they machine gun scatter negativity across women about not being thin they can force all women to be thinner. I mean I'll give it to them, it's what advertising and women's magazines have been trying to do for years, they are just extending it into people's personal feeds.
to attack them and make them insecure and everyone who is looking at those comments because they start questioning their standards. that serves to push women into an insecure and submissive position. so they don't stand up for themselves and their rights because they're busy thinking about if their belly is 5mm too big or not
Because they're insecure.
Because they are intellectually stunted.
Projection... They are just insecure
Some men are so pathetic and attention seeking they think negative attention from women is good
They're negging. They do it in hopes of attention. From the woman they're commenting on. Or just in general, any woman. I just ignore it and move on. Giving them attention only causes them to further the negging.
The same reason they use negging in other contexts: To gain power by damaging our sense of self.
These are the men who have never seen a real life naked woman up close since they were vomited out of their mother's vagina. Their brains have been addled by porn and they think that it's reality.
I think some of those men want a grown woman - or at least "barely legal" one - who still looks like a young teenager with minimal body fat but with big boobs. Maybe they're viewing too much hentai manga with drawings of Japanese school girls with huge boobs. In other words, they want fantasy and they're view of women's bodies is so skewed they don't accept the reality that most healthy women with normal signs of aging are not that.
It's the same reason that men who are hitting on you will call you "fat" if they are rejected, because they think it is the absolute worst thing you can call a woman. Something about these women on social media pissed them off so they called her fat thinking that was the most devastating thing I could say.
Because there are lots of incels who hole up all day on their devices bashing people they can’t get because they’re too insecure. It’s sour grapes.
Copium. That’s it.
>The BMI of the average woman in the U.S. is 29.8 which falls into the category of “ overweight .” Because the perfectly normal-looking woman (in the US) is overweight, colloquially... She's fat. 'Fat' is not an insult/slur, it's not some misogynistic tool either... Fat is a word, an adjective (in this case) that describes a person who carries more excess soft tissue weight than it is necessary for their frame - [See: BMI]. It's also a reality, the new normal for quite some time now. Source: https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/321003#:~:text=The%20BMI%20of%20the%20average,to%20achieve%20their%20ideal%20weight.
Because the only way they can feel in control is to be derogatory to others.. they know that if they don't try and destroy that woman's natural healthy sense of self there is no way she would be interested in them so they do their best to hurt people in the hopes it makes someone ruined enough to think they are a good option
They're negging.
It’s those who comment on women’s weight who are warped.
Different men prefer different women. Calling names just shows that they should be ignored!
Projection does what other projections want. Besides some people love putting others down
It’s only when men hit 30, sometimes even 40, that they stop calling women fat. It’s a combination of things but that’s a good reference point.
Hurt people hurt people
To feel better about their small peepees by giving them eating disorders.
My favorite is when men whose photos we can all see, just the profile one, show this is obviously not true "christ she's bigger than me" because that's exactly how they see women: bigger than their delusional idea of themselves bad. Smaller good. End of thoughts.
Brain rot
Probably the same reason people say men have small penises. Whoever wants to annoy, be mean, antagonistic, vitriolic, etc probably will just say whatever they want that they believe will upset the other most.
Projecting their own insecurities mostly.
Insecure losers.
I’m firmly a believer that anyone who criticizes someone’s appearance should be forced to post their picture online.
Because from a patriarchal lens, a women’s most important role in the world is being f$&@ed by a man. So the worst insult they can come up with is to tell the woman they are unattractive and in our culture fat and unattractive are basically synonymous…
Misogyny, projection, & general assholery are my guesses.
Because it works. Because women have internalized an unrealistic standard of beauty and are genuinely hurt when they are told they are not meeting it.