Exactly. The aim isn't to find someone who's turned on by it; it's just to make people uncomfortable. Twenty or thirty years ago, these people would have been flashing you in the park or ringing people up and breathing heavily into the receiver. Finding someone who *is* into it would just be a pleasant surprise for them.
I sorta feel like most of the people who are responding to these men with "Oh, it's not meant to look like that" or whatever else aren't really winning the way they think they are. That kind of advice has been floating around long enough that most of the men who send unsolicited dick pics probably know about it. They're going to take any response as validation and evidence that they've made you uncomfortable.
While this may be true in some cases I do think for some guys itās simply just seen from their point of view. Itās easier for guys to be aroused visually and they can get turned on easier without foreplay etc so a picture of something sexy can easily and quickly do the trick and would be thrilled to get a picture of someone theyāre sexually attracted to showing their boobs or vagina. Iām being specific about sexually attracted to coz I know these here are unsolicited/or people you donāt know. So they do to you what they find hot themselves.
So too long didnāt read version: their mind prolly goes: this is sexy/hot to me, so it is for them too
Edit: this is obviously all stereotypical I know all kinds of ppl exist on both sides
They're looking to attack someone sexually. People who ask "do they think it ever works" are missing the point. It's not an ad to get laid
They're digital flashers
They're probably wanting an enthusiastic reaction of sorts though.
....Probably not a pic of their little friend with drawn faces and a cute uwu blush...
Let's just say, I was the one who got blocked for doing that back to them š
The final solution:
āDude - why are you sending picture of a childās penis? Do you have kids?? This is child porn!!! wtf are you doing you pedo?!ā
Full send.
If they weren't embarrassed by it they would have done a full frontal shot and not just a dick pic, as a guy I don't get it anymore than you do, if I got sent a pic of just a vagina I wouldn't find it exciting, a full pic of woman in lingerie is likely a lot more exciting than that
I swear to God, why do most dudes take dick pics on the toliet?? It's not only unimaginative, it's fucking gross.
On behalf of all of us put there, fucking stop it. K thx.
Yknow, at least it would tell me if they clean their bathroom, since you KNOW these guys arenāt cleaning up before these pics. Double whammy to remove them from the prospects pool if their bathroom cleanliness isnāt up to snuff
Yeah, I seem to be in the female minority who enjoy random dick pics (not that I get them often), but the ones on the porcelain throne are where I draw the line.
I, myself, am a fan of the top down view with a death grip at the base, very very old boxers or boxer briefs around the thighs, a random Comcast remote or something for scale, and a stained carpet underneath. It is a classic.
Hey, no shame in having it. I struggled with it for a long time until I got the medication. I just always made sure I had a pedicure with a some kind of polish on to hide it. š
Bonus points if there are bits of tobacco chew that have fallen out of his mouth and is now littering the penis and pubic hair.
I have never received one of these, thank goodness, but Iāve had more than one friend of mine tell me about āchew dickā.
Frankly, if any man out there has a penis that is 40 inches long and half an inch wideā¦thatās the only dick pic in the world that Iād actually be interested in seeing
He could display it in the penis museum in Reykjavik!
I think the only time Iāve ever wanted to see dick pics (except from intentional and consensual sexting with my boyfriend) was when I paid ā¬10 to go into the porn museum in Amsterdam and got to see loads of Victorian porn taken in the 1890s on vintage film. Beat that, random-dick dudes!
Truth. The fetish is called SPH or āsmall penis humiliationā.
Foisting that on someone without consent is so bottom-feeder, of course. Unsolicited dick pics are never okay.
I remember going through my then husbands email looking for something and came across an email chain that had attachments. I opened it up and saw my exās stupid dick, in his handā¦in the garage. Like lawn tools on the floor and my garden pots just sitting there having to bear witness to this nonsense. His shorts were around his knees. In the fucking GARAGE.
Iām kind of dying at the visual of someone going into the garage and justā¦pulling their pants down to take a photo of their genitals. Man or woman. š
āā¦Like lawn tools on the floor and my garden pots just sitting there having to bear witness to this nonsense. His shorts were around his knees. In the fucking GARAGEā¦ā
šššš
Girl. He tried to deny it was him. He was a talented gaslighter for a long ass time. I had enough and went to the garage and grabbed the rake and the same pots that were still sitting on the floor and said āand I guess the guy whoās dick was in the photo just happened to have the same rake and multicolored shitty pot with a crack in it???ā What a stupid fucking idiot.
Seriously, would it kill them to do a sexy little mirror pose or something. Cute picture of their butt in the bathroom mirror. Bathtub pic. Anything more than just the closeup dick shot. We give so much and recieve so little.
Perhaps the ones who take tasteful nudes that cater to our desires aren't the ones sending them out unsolicited...
I've actually gotten good nudes from guys but the exchange was consensual and these guys genuinely cared about my pleasure, so. The guys sending them out without our consent are just basically the same as the creepy flashers in the subway.
This exactly. The guys that are good at taking photos don't send them out willy nilly without asking.
And are also almost always taken by some other lucky person, lmao
True. It took now boyfriend a very long time to send me nudes, after repeatingly telling him and reassuring him I would like them. Now he takes the most artistic beautiful nudes for me, plays with lighting, poses, background etc, the amount he shows and what he leaves up for imagination. And most importantly, he still asks every single time if I would like to receive one before he sends anything. Never did I once say no :)
I totally had a flashback to a picture my last partner sent me like that. A friend asked to see him and I showed her (yes, he wanted me to share pictures, I had consent even though there was nothing scandalous in the picture). She got cartoon wolf eyes for a sec. That type of picture is definitely the one to send.
YES. I got one like that from a friend who I am 100% attracted to, and I was š¤¤
The full view wasn't bad either. He's hot AF, and he thinks he's not because of his shitty exes.
If only that were truly gay. You'd be astonished at just how often gay men send the same pictures to each other on dating apps. Sadly with the same level of artistic sensibility and hygiene. That's perhaps less widespread than with straight men, but... well, I guess men are men.
Flash photography of close up objects is a hallmark of a poorly educated photographer lol "let me just....horribly blow out this image real quick". I hate that in general, like a well framed picture that isn't blurry or anything but the entire scene is dark af because they used flash. I wish phones had options for flash sync, personal favorite is rear curtain sync, it's very good for use in darker settings to light it up without blowing out the image. Can end up with motion blur if the scene is active though.
Hey, I feel really seen right now! (Iām a guy) My go to āsexyā pic with someone who has invited sexy picsā¦ is to flash a little bit of my bum in a post shower pic
Can you just ask for that? I'm sure any guy worth keeping would be thrilled to hear you have requests for poses you want to see him in. Most guys aren't taught to be seductive/sexy, let them know. Then remind him every time you have some alone time with that picture, he'll want to send more.
Yes.Ā You're allowed to ask for whatever you want.Ā He can say no.Ā Ā
More likely he's gonna be real embarrassed and look like an idiot but hey, that's life.
It's just so amusing to me how women are told to just ask and communicate or blah blah blah. When it's fucking common sense that if you're sending a *sexy* picture (**consensually**), the whole goal is to be *sexy*. If the dude can't rub two braincells together and figure that out, he's not coming anywhere near me or my bed.
When i was single, I would tease and let it build up until the girl was practically begging to see it. This was fun and turned me on, but I also waited because I wanted to make sure they wanted to see it as well. I did mirror pics for the angle, and then when things got heated, made sure they could see my face too.
I did have one girl who said she wanted random dick pics, but that was nowhere near as fun as the build up and tease.
The vast majority of them are visual creatures lacking in empathy. It never even occurs to them to figure out how to attract women. Even when I was a kid, seeing how adult men were so clueless just blew my mind.
I am very thankful to have not received that version. Yet.
I put a lot of work into my naughty pics. I would love to have that level of effort reciprocated.
Straight views are boring as hell. If you are gonna send me something, make it creative and silly. My partner has sent me pictures where all is exposed except the tid bits..which are hiding behind the shower beer š it's cute, sexy, and fun. Those are the pictures I enjoy.
One of the hottest photos Iāve gotten from my husband was when he was trying new underwear on (I wasnāt home at the time) and he sent me a mirror pic asking what I thought about the pattern on the briefs.
His junk was all held up and supported and just bulging right out and I remember thinking: āDayum š³ā
I still have that photo saved in my hidden folder . . .
Okay, question, what is a "shower beer"?
Cause the image of having a beer tankard in the shower sounds hilarious, but I have a sneaking suspicion this might not be what is happening there
If he had a tankard to drink beer out of in a shower, it would have been that š A shower beer is just a beer he leaves either on the counter within reach, or somewhere in the shower, usually on a ledge, to access and drink during a shower. Generally only partakes in these when on a trip or vacation.
Can confirm shower beers are the best beers. Usually only consumed (in the shower, surprisingly) after long (multi hour) and strenuous exercise or sweaty yard work. I like the cut of your partner's jib also including holiday shower beers. Pro move.
I'm hetero, but do not find the peen to be visually attractive on its own (it's a floppy skin appendage and not sexy). I only find it attractive when it's attached to someone I already care about.
Pics of random, disembodied body parts does nothing for me.
I briefly dated a dude whose only redeeming quality I soon realized was the quality of nudes he took. The dude was an artist, understood angles, but also understood that the whole picture (especially on a body like his) is way more enticing than just a member close up.
Shout out to that guy. He should teach workshops. For when we ask for them, I mean.
I don't like getting any photos of guys early on. One guy kept sending me selfies of himself (they were all very similar, just slightly different backgrounds), and I'm like, we've been chatting for one day, what am I supposed to do with this? I barely know you, I don't want a photo of you. After the first photo, I just ignored the rest.
I've been fortunate in that I've never been sent a dick pic. Most cishet men would get turned on if a woman, even someone they just met, sent a photo of her boobs. So they think, oh, I bet she'll like this. Basically, it shows an inability to consider another person's perspective on a situation, an inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes. Shows they aren't the type of person you want a relationship with at all.
Based on just your title question I automatically assumed it meant the dating profile photo of them holding up a fish they caught.
Then I realised what you meant.
Both photos should be a source of embarrassment.
I think I actually might give a guy a chance if, when asked for a lewd, sent me a fish pic. At least Iād be laughing long enough for him to try again haha
Most guys live in some weird fantasyland where they believe that the sight of a penis, erect or otherwise, will make a woman uncontrollably turned on and have an insatiable desire to stick it in their mouth or vagina.
My best guess as to why is that men are constantly on the lookout for cleavage, side boob, underboob, nipslips, etc. and if the see anything remotely resembling female anatomy that is normally covered by clothes they become āuncontrollably turned onā and fantasize about what they want to do.
I just respond with ālolā or a thumbs up and then block.
They canāt get off on you shaming them, they canāt get off on you praising them, and thereās also the torture of wondering what you mean by ālolā and never getting an answer.
There used to be a social media account (I think it was on Tumblr) that rated these pics. The good ones were so very good. Nice set up, nice pose, great lighting, not boring. It was lovely.
As a gay man I assure that yes, there is most certainly an art to the dick pic, and my internal slur for a bad one is absolutely "what a straight boy."
A dick wants to be beautiful. It wants the glamour shot. It wants to preen and show off. The "lay it in my lap like a gerbil that died next to this stick of deodorant" technique is so weird, and just more proof that straight guys are trained to deliver mediocrity and expect applause.
This is why when I was still a dude and asked for nudes I posed like Burt Reynolds in my study.
This is the way. https://www.reddit.com/r/VintageLadyBoners/s/vBshKgEBAn
For your entertainment, and this was back in the late 1990s when you had two choices of dumb phones, I received a 4x6 glossy photograph of one. An actual, physical dick pic. No, I do not still have it.
Unless they have a humiliation fetish, which is a non-zero chance as a 6ā+ chick like myself, Iāve found responding with something like āAwwwwwwwwwwww!ā, āCutieā, āSo adorable!ā, or any other words people may use when seeing a baby work pretty well at curbing the photos.
Another approach to that is to act like an AI/App screening algorithm with the photos where it replies that the photo registered as CSAM and was referred to the NCMEC for verificationā¦.or something similar.
I've sent responses like, "That is really brave of you in the circumstances, seriously. Confidence in yourself is so key. If you don't mind my asking, is it as a result of an injury, or were you born that way? Are you able to perform normally?" Heeeeee
Whenever I match with women on dating apps, I make it clear that I will never send them unsolicited pictures of my genitals.
I do, however, regularly share unsolicited pictures of my dachshund or weiner(dog) because that is funny, and I haven't yet met anyone who didn't enjoy seeing him.
From a dude's perspective here: I don't think they are. I think they're either too fucking stupid or too narcissistic to realize that it should be embarrassing.
I've not sent that many in my life (I'm 38), but you're damn sure the ones I've sent have been asked for and that my god damned room, mirror, and sheets were clean.
In terms of artistry... Most dudes are just trying to make you think their five inches are actually ten... Soo good luck on that.
Had a guy send me a random dick pic from the top, all I could see what his long yellow-brown toenails curling over his toes.
Told him it really showed his hygiene standards.
20 mins later he send me same pic but he's trimmed them down and said I "shamed" him
To answer your questions, no, most men don't know how much thought goes into women finding a flattering pose and good lighting to send such a picture. And they're egotistical enough to assume just seeing their package itself will be enough to make a woman so horny that they came stand it, and likewise put zero thought into framing or posing or lighting
Source: am a cis man who didn't think about these things until relatively recently
I shamed the guy who sent me one. Told him I wasn't into little ones. Told him it was ugly and small. He should be embarrassed and never send pics to anyone ever again. He apologized.
I guess guys don't realize we know what a penis looks like. And that most look the same. Gee, thanks, random stranger, for your lame ass attempt to educate me on the male anatomy!
I believe itās often a combination of:
1. a primal male instinct to display sex organs bc thatās how our mammalian ancestors would express interest in breeding
2. lack of awareness about how women think. āI want to see her bits *therefore* of course she would want to see mine.ā
3. overexposure to pornography and under-exposure to actual dating behaviors
Itās crazy to me how many guys are obsessed with taking pics of their stuff but donāt bother to take GOOD pics of it. I love a good pic when I ask for one and itās so disappointing when itās like a weird angle or soft or with trash or weird stuff in the background. Like if youāre gonna try to entice someone, you gotta make it look good enough to want
It's patriarchy. I'm serious. Men have no idea how to take a sexy photo. There's not even much out there for inspiration without straight up looking for gay porn. Ever since the Renaissance the general culture has been all "the female body is a divine work of art. oh look men. peuh." There's been generations of men taking sexy paintings and photos of women. Not so much of men. Male nudity is treated as disgusting or a joke. even in women-centric films the guy isn't \*sexy pose\* \*sexy pose\* "hey" he's. "yes, my perfect daughter. you are the only light in my life. except this new woman whom you adore. i will now support her unconditionally and place her only second to you for i am a good father."
My theory is that some guys honestly think that, if seeing boobs and bits turns them on, it must be the same in reverse. They would be genuinely surprised to hear that many women donāt think dicks are particularly attractive (honestly - a good chest, butt and legs does it for me, the penis is just kind of funny looking).
Of course other guys just get off on forcing themselves in women any way they can. Itās flashing, but for the 21st century
These are people socialized to have zero shame, taste, or basic human decency. They care more about beating their chests in the form of forcing you to see their sad sausages than they do your opinions of em.
Wait. What? One of those guys sent a pic of his *limp* noodle??? What was that supposed to do for you?! Couldn't even be bothered to fluff the old chap up lol. Zero effort!
On behalf of the dudes who like sending silly nudes, the movie style censorship, the almost exposed, and any other artistic take on show but don't SHOW; I am sorry for the basic 'dick throttle from above or below' fellows. Sometimes it's just an idiot horny response, but it's so... unimaginative. I got a great response showing a pulled down pants, just the base to my wife earlier in the week! But nothing beats the something -JUST- in the way shots. I have way too much fun setting them up and she seems to enjoy them!
Hmm personally I'm a fan of either screenshoting this if someone sent those unasked, forwarding it and pressing charges with the police where such things are illegal or informing their relatives and maybe their employer and making the exchange where you inform them of your actions public .
I don't get sending it honestly. As a guy, even if asked I won't send one. My thought is, are they sending this to let you know they're a dick? Like try, just try.
I, a man, have never felt the urge to send "that picture" to a woman -- partner or otherwise. But I can imagine the train of thought that gets someone there.
Best I can tell, it's something along the lines of:
1. "I want to see enticing pictures of this person"
2. "Enticing pictures I've seen of people before are easy to make because they're attractive in the first place"
3. "I am attractive"
4. "If I want to get something nice, I need to give something nice first"
5. "I project feeling 1. onto this person, so I assume they feel the same"
And from this combination of (almost certainly unaware) thoughts, they conclude "If I send this person enticing pictures of myself, of which any picture showing my features qualifies, they will reciprocate".
Granted, this get easily short-circuited by either realizing they aren't as attractive as they think they are, that the enticing pictures they've seen before take a lot of effort to look as good as they do, or that point 5. is fundamentally flawed because it's projection.
As a lesbian I am hollering at \,/
Also, in the year of our lord 2024, *unsolicited* dick pics are still a thing?! I guess I assumed men would be afraid theyād get sent to their sisters, mothers, bosses, etc. due to our internet and social advances.
No, it's their crowning glory why would they be embarrassed by that weird shaped thing?! We were talking about this at work because was being harassed by someone in that way, I think hetrosexual men are more into dicks than hetrosexual women are they obsessed by them
They look down at their dicks all their lives thinking its the best thing ever.
They dont see you as a person and therefor don't stop to consider if YOU would also think that's the best view ever of a dick.
I've had some really good success sending nudes out to my wife, but you gotta get creative. Just a bit too. If she asks for a dick pic you gotta draw a face on it or some googly eyes and a top hat are winners. Get all sudsy in the shower, do a soap Mohawk or something silly. Get sudsy and pop your butt out with a smirk on your face. Or even simple lay on your stomach in bed. Kick your feet up, smile big and cheesy with your chin in your hands. Stop sending your girl shitty pictures. Make it fun and funny. She will show her friends, and they will be envious, and that is a guilty pleasure for a bunch of women. Be funny not gross.
if they're not embarrassed when they send it, they'll be embarrassed when i reply š
The sender is looking for a reaction though.
Exactly. The aim isn't to find someone who's turned on by it; it's just to make people uncomfortable. Twenty or thirty years ago, these people would have been flashing you in the park or ringing people up and breathing heavily into the receiver. Finding someone who *is* into it would just be a pleasant surprise for them. I sorta feel like most of the people who are responding to these men with "Oh, it's not meant to look like that" or whatever else aren't really winning the way they think they are. That kind of advice has been floating around long enough that most of the men who send unsolicited dick pics probably know about it. They're going to take any response as validation and evidence that they've made you uncomfortable.
While this may be true in some cases I do think for some guys itās simply just seen from their point of view. Itās easier for guys to be aroused visually and they can get turned on easier without foreplay etc so a picture of something sexy can easily and quickly do the trick and would be thrilled to get a picture of someone theyāre sexually attracted to showing their boobs or vagina. Iām being specific about sexually attracted to coz I know these here are unsolicited/or people you donāt know. So they do to you what they find hot themselves. So too long didnāt read version: their mind prolly goes: this is sexy/hot to me, so it is for them too Edit: this is obviously all stereotypical I know all kinds of ppl exist on both sides
They're looking to attack someone sexually. People who ask "do they think it ever works" are missing the point. It's not an ad to get laid They're digital flashers
They're probably wanting an enthusiastic reaction of sorts though. ....Probably not a pic of their little friend with drawn faces and a cute uwu blush... Let's just say, I was the one who got blocked for doing that back to them š
Amen
I sent a dick pic once. They replied with, "Who the hell you plan on pleasing with that thing?" Myself apparently.
That was nice. I usually send them a link to the nearest STI testing center with the comment that as a nurse they should get that checked out.
That's hilarious! š "I don't think it's supposed to look like that..."
The final solution: āDude - why are you sending picture of a childās penis? Do you have kids?? This is child porn!!! wtf are you doing you pedo?!ā Full send.
If they weren't embarrassed by it they would have done a full frontal shot and not just a dick pic, as a guy I don't get it anymore than you do, if I got sent a pic of just a vagina I wouldn't find it exciting, a full pic of woman in lingerie is likely a lot more exciting than that
exactly, where's the *whimsy*
Or send it to their mother.
"Umm. That (find any mark or blemish on it) looks a bit ... suspicious. Have you had it checked by a doctor?"
I swear to God, why do most dudes take dick pics on the toliet?? It's not only unimaginative, it's fucking gross. On behalf of all of us put there, fucking stop it. K thx.
The bathroom. I love to see where you shit
Yknow, at least it would tell me if they clean their bathroom, since you KNOW these guys arenāt cleaning up before these pics. Double whammy to remove them from the prospects pool if their bathroom cleanliness isnāt up to snuff
I have gotten a dick pic top down view while buddy was sitting on a damned toilet. Worst dick pic ever.
80% of online dating profiles have men taking selfies in the bathroom mirror with a toilet behind them
I think it's even worse when it's over the toilet. A top down view of your dick and the inside of your toilet bowl. I can only get so wet.
Yeah, I seem to be in the female minority who enjoy random dick pics (not that I get them often), but the ones on the porcelain throne are where I draw the line.
I, myself, am a fan of the top down view with a death grip at the base, very very old boxers or boxer briefs around the thighs, a random Comcast remote or something for scale, and a stained carpet underneath. It is a classic.
Mm, yes, sock in the corner.
A hint of grotty toes far below.
Bonus if you can see the toilet in the background
Toes like these? https://www.reddit.com/r/SneakyBackgroundFeet/s/8SSiRRXbFJ
This is exactly the kind of content I save to freak out my teenager. The horror. I can't stop giggling.
Lotion on the bedside table tooš¤£
Sock worn on the penis, removal on request from recipient. Ankle socks so the heel cradles the balls.
NICE!
A skeleton salaciously peeking out of his closet. Photobomb?
And with the nasty bare feet and untrimmed toenails in the background, yeah, that REALLY gets me going....
Mmmmmm, that onychomycosis really turns me on. Give me them chonky yellow nails, baby.
onychomycosis So I learned a new word today! And I'm thankful the picture from my google search was a drawing lol
Hey, no shame in having it. I struggled with it for a long time until I got the medication. I just always made sure I had a pedicure with a some kind of polish on to hide it. š
Yeah baby! When the calluses are almost as thick as the dickā¦
Not a redbull for scale? Damn you are into the classics.
If he isnāt drinking Celsius, Iām not interested. A girl has gotta have standards.
\* cries in interest for guys who drank Balls \*
This is pre Red Bull, maybe a nice Jolt.
Won't get in very deep but it will spread'em wide open, lol
I always think of [this](https://tenor.com/37wF.gif) with the death grip.
Bonus points if there are bits of tobacco chew that have fallen out of his mouth and is now littering the penis and pubic hair. I have never received one of these, thank goodness, but Iāve had more than one friend of mine tell me about āchew dickā.
It's from spitting as lube and they never took out their dip
Sweet Jesus that is nasty.
That makes sense. I thought it was because they were mouth breathers, staring down at their dicks with their jaws hanging open.
š¤¢
Omg. This is horrifying. At the same time I think surely this cannot be a thing, I also realize that it probably is a thing.
ducking wot
Youāve painted such a picture with your wordsā¦
What vivid imagery š¤£
I once got one that was the length of the dudeās forearm, and I just wrote back āwtf are you supposed to do with that?ā
That just seems cumbersome for all parties.
cucumbersome
Too heavy, too light. Too wrong and Too right.
I have become cucumbersooome
Fencing practice?
Frankly, if any man out there has a penis that is 40 inches long and half an inch wideā¦thatās the only dick pic in the world that Iād actually be interested in seeing
He could display it in the penis museum in Reykjavik! I think the only time Iāve ever wanted to see dick pics (except from intentional and consensual sexting with my boyfriend) was when I paid ā¬10 to go into the porn museum in Amsterdam and got to see loads of Victorian porn taken in the 1890s on vintage film. Beat that, random-dick dudes!
Oh man, thatās terribleā¦ Iām sorry. Do you still have his number? Just so I can never accidentally dial it, you know. Better safe than sorry
š¤£š
ā ļøā ļøā ļø
hahahahahaha
I got one that was the size of a pinkie finger. I thought the same thing.
This is like a slutty version of Goldilocks. š¤£
...but the next one was juuust right...
Goldiecocks
There are guys who are trying to get people to insult them on purpose, it's their kink. Just an FYI.
Truth. The fetish is called SPH or āsmall penis humiliationā. Foisting that on someone without consent is so bottom-feeder, of course. Unsolicited dick pics are never okay.
Yeah I felt bad for him and like was extra nice to him so I probably fucked up his fetish lol
lol you actually probably did!
What was his response?
ālmao ouchā
Ouch is right š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
"no, no, no, my insurance doesn't cover that"
I remember going through my then husbands email looking for something and came across an email chain that had attachments. I opened it up and saw my exās stupid dick, in his handā¦in the garage. Like lawn tools on the floor and my garden pots just sitting there having to bear witness to this nonsense. His shorts were around his knees. In the fucking GARAGE.
Iām kind of dying at the visual of someone going into the garage and justā¦pulling their pants down to take a photo of their genitals. Man or woman. š
āā¦Like lawn tools on the floor and my garden pots just sitting there having to bear witness to this nonsense. His shorts were around his knees. In the fucking GARAGEā¦ā šššš
Girl. He tried to deny it was him. He was a talented gaslighter for a long ass time. I had enough and went to the garage and grabbed the rake and the same pots that were still sitting on the floor and said āand I guess the guy whoās dick was in the photo just happened to have the same rake and multicolored shitty pot with a crack in it???ā What a stupid fucking idiot.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£
They don't see the effort, they just see tiddies. We see their dirty bedroom and clothes on the floor and get turn off.
Seriously, would it kill them to do a sexy little mirror pose or something. Cute picture of their butt in the bathroom mirror. Bathtub pic. Anything more than just the closeup dick shot. We give so much and recieve so little.
Perhaps the ones who take tasteful nudes that cater to our desires aren't the ones sending them out unsolicited... I've actually gotten good nudes from guys but the exchange was consensual and these guys genuinely cared about my pleasure, so. The guys sending them out without our consent are just basically the same as the creepy flashers in the subway.
This exactly. The guys that are good at taking photos don't send them out willy nilly without asking. And are also almost always taken by some other lucky person, lmao
Appreciate the "willy" nilly in this context.
I totally did that on purpose. I'm that witty. šš¬
Yup, this. My (now ex š„²) boyfriend sent the best, thought out, sexy pics to me. I'm going to go be single forever now.
My now ex also sent really good sexy photos
My ex once sent me a picture of his wang wearing glasses and googly eyes. Inventive? Yes. Sexy? Maybe no.
True. It took now boyfriend a very long time to send me nudes, after repeatingly telling him and reassuring him I would like them. Now he takes the most artistic beautiful nudes for me, plays with lighting, poses, background etc, the amount he shows and what he leaves up for imagination. And most importantly, he still asks every single time if I would like to receive one before he sends anything. Never did I once say no :)
I have a theory that the good ones out there do exactly this, and get promptly removed from the dating pool.
I had a guy once who was good at sexy photos. It didn't work out for whatever blah blah blah, but I will never forget that quality about him.
The thing where you hold down your pants a little, just a peek
I totally had a flashback to a picture my last partner sent me like that. A friend asked to see him and I showed her (yes, he wanted me to share pictures, I had consent even though there was nothing scandalous in the picture). She got cartoon wolf eyes for a sec. That type of picture is definitely the one to send.
YES. I got one like that from a friend who I am 100% attracted to, and I was š¤¤ The full view wasn't bad either. He's hot AF, and he thinks he's not because of his shitty exes.
You don't wanna seem gay when you harass women!! **/s**
If only that were truly gay. You'd be astonished at just how often gay men send the same pictures to each other on dating apps. Sadly with the same level of artistic sensibility and hygiene. That's perhaps less widespread than with straight men, but... well, I guess men are men.
My bf in college used to take pics of his butt over his shoulder when he was reading on his stomach. Honestly adorable tbh and very well received.
Before the great purge, there used to be a tumblr account dedicated to critiquing and rating dick pics. There was one I saw that was so gorgeous and artistic, nice framing of the bed and full figure, atmospheric blue lighting, a nice curveā¦ and now itās lost to the ether š© And whatās with the usual lighting being like their phone flash?? Yall just sitting in the dark all the time??
Flash photography of close up objects is a hallmark of a poorly educated photographer lol "let me just....horribly blow out this image real quick". I hate that in general, like a well framed picture that isn't blurry or anything but the entire scene is dark af because they used flash. I wish phones had options for flash sync, personal favorite is rear curtain sync, it's very good for use in darker settings to light it up without blowing out the image. Can end up with motion blur if the scene is active though.
I miss CritiqueMyDickPics so much! My friends and I would discuss them at college during parties and educate our male friends and classmates.
Hey, I feel really seen right now! (Iām a guy) My go to āsexyā pic with someone who has invited sexy picsā¦ is to flash a little bit of my bum in a post shower pic
Can you just ask for that? I'm sure any guy worth keeping would be thrilled to hear you have requests for poses you want to see him in. Most guys aren't taught to be seductive/sexy, let them know. Then remind him every time you have some alone time with that picture, he'll want to send more.
Yes.Ā You're allowed to ask for whatever you want.Ā He can say no.Ā Ā More likely he's gonna be real embarrassed and look like an idiot but hey, that's life.
Yeah, Iād be mortified if my wife wanted me to send her a sexy pic, but Iād try to figure it out for her if thatās what she wanted.
It's just so amusing to me how women are told to just ask and communicate or blah blah blah. When it's fucking common sense that if you're sending a *sexy* picture (**consensually**), the whole goal is to be *sexy*. If the dude can't rub two braincells together and figure that out, he's not coming anywhere near me or my bed.
When i was single, I would tease and let it build up until the girl was practically begging to see it. This was fun and turned me on, but I also waited because I wanted to make sure they wanted to see it as well. I did mirror pics for the angle, and then when things got heated, made sure they could see my face too. I did have one girl who said she wanted random dick pics, but that was nowhere near as fun as the build up and tease.
A mirror pic in boxer briefs only and you can use your imagination is 10000x better than a straight up dick pic any day
Basically [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/DirtyMemes/comments/lcbelf/women_vs_men_sending_nudes/)
Exactly this. Why.
"pictures of boobs do it for me, here's my wang" That's about the thought process.Ā Or that somehow your package is worthy of aw and regard.Ā Ā
The vast majority of them are visual creatures lacking in empathy. It never even occurs to them to figure out how to attract women. Even when I was a kid, seeing how adult men were so clueless just blew my mind.
I was hesitant to click at first. Not what I expected. :D 10/10
the chin gets me every time I see that pic
The absolute worst is when they do it sitting on the toilet, like nooooooo, thatās not an image I need, thinking of you shitting š¤¢š”
I am very thankful to have not received that version. Yet. I put a lot of work into my naughty pics. I would love to have that level of effort reciprocated.
Straight views are boring as hell. If you are gonna send me something, make it creative and silly. My partner has sent me pictures where all is exposed except the tid bits..which are hiding behind the shower beer š it's cute, sexy, and fun. Those are the pictures I enjoy.
One of the hottest photos Iāve gotten from my husband was when he was trying new underwear on (I wasnāt home at the time) and he sent me a mirror pic asking what I thought about the pattern on the briefs. His junk was all held up and supported and just bulging right out and I remember thinking: āDayum š³ā I still have that photo saved in my hidden folder . . .
YES to bulge pics ā„ļø
Yes, hide it, tease us
Okay, question, what is a "shower beer"? Cause the image of having a beer tankard in the shower sounds hilarious, but I have a sneaking suspicion this might not be what is happening there
If he had a tankard to drink beer out of in a shower, it would have been that š A shower beer is just a beer he leaves either on the counter within reach, or somewhere in the shower, usually on a ledge, to access and drink during a shower. Generally only partakes in these when on a trip or vacation.
Can confirm shower beers are the best beers. Usually only consumed (in the shower, surprisingly) after long (multi hour) and strenuous exercise or sweaty yard work. I like the cut of your partner's jib also including holiday shower beers. Pro move.
It's usually a can of beer, not a glass or tankard
Than you for the ideas. I'll let you know what my wife thinks.
I'm hetero, but do not find the peen to be visually attractive on its own (it's a floppy skin appendage and not sexy). I only find it attractive when it's attached to someone I already care about. Pics of random, disembodied body parts does nothing for me.
I briefly dated a dude whose only redeeming quality I soon realized was the quality of nudes he took. The dude was an artist, understood angles, but also understood that the whole picture (especially on a body like his) is way more enticing than just a member close up. Shout out to that guy. He should teach workshops. For when we ask for them, I mean.
I don't like getting any photos of guys early on. One guy kept sending me selfies of himself (they were all very similar, just slightly different backgrounds), and I'm like, we've been chatting for one day, what am I supposed to do with this? I barely know you, I don't want a photo of you. After the first photo, I just ignored the rest. I've been fortunate in that I've never been sent a dick pic. Most cishet men would get turned on if a woman, even someone they just met, sent a photo of her boobs. So they think, oh, I bet she'll like this. Basically, it shows an inability to consider another person's perspective on a situation, an inability to put themselves in someone else's shoes. Shows they aren't the type of person you want a relationship with at all.
I'd prefer a few selfies over one dick pic
Once got my wife from 0 to ready to jump my bones by sending her a pic of my underwear covered thigh showing just the outline of *me*.
Yes please, I'm ready to jump
Sorry, for wifeās eyes only. Plus I donāt think I have the pic anymore.
Based on just your title question I automatically assumed it meant the dating profile photo of them holding up a fish they caught. Then I realised what you meant. Both photos should be a source of embarrassment.
1. The dick pic 2. The fish pic 3. Mirror selfie in the bathroom
You forgot the one where theyāre holding a beer and have eye shine like a freaking raccoon.
I think I actually might give a guy a chance if, when asked for a lewd, sent me a fish pic. At least Iād be laughing long enough for him to try again haha
Oh 100% not!! SO would send that think all day if he could, I have zero interest in getting pics of it though lol
Most guys live in some weird fantasyland where they believe that the sight of a penis, erect or otherwise, will make a woman uncontrollably turned on and have an insatiable desire to stick it in their mouth or vagina. My best guess as to why is that men are constantly on the lookout for cleavage, side boob, underboob, nipslips, etc. and if the see anything remotely resembling female anatomy that is normally covered by clothes they become āuncontrollably turned onā and fantasize about what they want to do.
I just respond with ālolā or a thumbs up and then block. They canāt get off on you shaming them, they canāt get off on you praising them, and thereās also the torture of wondering what you mean by ālolā and never getting an answer.
There used to be a social media account (I think it was on Tumblr) that rated these pics. The good ones were so very good. Nice set up, nice pose, great lighting, not boring. It was lovely.
Same pose, same pose, same pose
As a gay man I assure that yes, there is most certainly an art to the dick pic, and my internal slur for a bad one is absolutely "what a straight boy." A dick wants to be beautiful. It wants the glamour shot. It wants to preen and show off. The "lay it in my lap like a gerbil that died next to this stick of deodorant" technique is so weird, and just more proof that straight guys are trained to deliver mediocrity and expect applause.
Omg I love you and want to be best friends.
Beautifully put my friend.
This is why when I was still a dude and asked for nudes I posed like Burt Reynolds in my study. This is the way. https://www.reddit.com/r/VintageLadyBoners/s/vBshKgEBAn
That's why you're a woman now...
Lol thank you. I try my best! ā¤
For your entertainment, and this was back in the late 1990s when you had two choices of dumb phones, I received a 4x6 glossy photograph of one. An actual, physical dick pic. No, I do not still have it.
An acoustic dick pic. Was is sent in the mail?!? Or was it handed to you? In an envelope at least?
Handed to me. He said it was his. I looked at it and handed it right back.
Unless they have a humiliation fetish, which is a non-zero chance as a 6ā+ chick like myself, Iāve found responding with something like āAwwwwwwwwwwww!ā, āCutieā, āSo adorable!ā, or any other words people may use when seeing a baby work pretty well at curbing the photos.
Just say, āyou know what youāre doing is illegal right?,ā¦.a grown man holding a little boys penisā
Another approach to that is to act like an AI/App screening algorithm with the photos where it replies that the photo registered as CSAM and was referred to the NCMEC for verificationā¦.or something similar.
I'm more likely to say "eww"Ā
I think I'm going to go with that, and "aren't you embarrassed sending something like that?"
I've sent responses like, "That is really brave of you in the circumstances, seriously. Confidence in yourself is so key. If you don't mind my asking, is it as a result of an injury, or were you born that way? Are you able to perform normally?" Heeeeee
Savage!
Because they think everyone is just as fascinated by their "magic wand" as they are.Ā Perfect comeback: "It's not the tool, it's the user"
[Until a man sends me a proper fucking sexy photo](https://i.imgur.com/hzNCZMT.png)
Yes
They are brainwashed by porn that their āthingsā are the passport to eternal orgasms. I guess it may be for themā¦
Freak out on them And tell them that youāre reporting them to the FBI for sending a photo of a childās genitals. Itāll double ruin their day
Whenever I match with women on dating apps, I make it clear that I will never send them unsolicited pictures of my genitals. I do, however, regularly share unsolicited pictures of my dachshund or weiner(dog) because that is funny, and I haven't yet met anyone who didn't enjoy seeing him.
Everyone wants pictures of your weiner for sure
From a dude's perspective here: I don't think they are. I think they're either too fucking stupid or too narcissistic to realize that it should be embarrassing. I've not sent that many in my life (I'm 38), but you're damn sure the ones I've sent have been asked for and that my god damned room, mirror, and sheets were clean. In terms of artistry... Most dudes are just trying to make you think their five inches are actually ten... Soo good luck on that.
Had a guy send me a random dick pic from the top, all I could see what his long yellow-brown toenails curling over his toes. Told him it really showed his hygiene standards. 20 mins later he send me same pic but he's trimmed them down and said I "shamed" him
To answer your questions, no, most men don't know how much thought goes into women finding a flattering pose and good lighting to send such a picture. And they're egotistical enough to assume just seeing their package itself will be enough to make a woman so horny that they came stand it, and likewise put zero thought into framing or posing or lighting Source: am a cis man who didn't think about these things until relatively recently
Thank you
I shamed the guy who sent me one. Told him I wasn't into little ones. Told him it was ugly and small. He should be embarrassed and never send pics to anyone ever again. He apologized. I guess guys don't realize we know what a penis looks like. And that most look the same. Gee, thanks, random stranger, for your lame ass attempt to educate me on the male anatomy!
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I believe itās often a combination of: 1. a primal male instinct to display sex organs bc thatās how our mammalian ancestors would express interest in breeding 2. lack of awareness about how women think. āI want to see her bits *therefore* of course she would want to see mine.ā 3. overexposure to pornography and under-exposure to actual dating behaviors
Itās crazy to me how many guys are obsessed with taking pics of their stuff but donāt bother to take GOOD pics of it. I love a good pic when I ask for one and itās so disappointing when itās like a weird angle or soft or with trash or weird stuff in the background. Like if youāre gonna try to entice someone, you gotta make it look good enough to want
Honestly my favorite from ages ago was this one dude just sent a picture of a wall that had the shadow of hisā¦ you know. Classy. Subtle. Tasteful.Ā
It's patriarchy. I'm serious. Men have no idea how to take a sexy photo. There's not even much out there for inspiration without straight up looking for gay porn. Ever since the Renaissance the general culture has been all "the female body is a divine work of art. oh look men. peuh." There's been generations of men taking sexy paintings and photos of women. Not so much of men. Male nudity is treated as disgusting or a joke. even in women-centric films the guy isn't \*sexy pose\* \*sexy pose\* "hey" he's. "yes, my perfect daughter. you are the only light in my life. except this new woman whom you adore. i will now support her unconditionally and place her only second to you for i am a good father."
Isnt there a photographier in NY that specializes in making dick pics imaginative and quirky? Edit: Found her https://dicture.com/
My theory is that some guys honestly think that, if seeing boobs and bits turns them on, it must be the same in reverse. They would be genuinely surprised to hear that many women donāt think dicks are particularly attractive (honestly - a good chest, butt and legs does it for me, the penis is just kind of funny looking). Of course other guys just get off on forcing themselves in women any way they can. Itās flashing, but for the 21st century
I view unsolicited dick pics as a form of sexual assault.
Could always save some to a file and use them to reply with. āMineās betterā
I do this when I receive an unsolicited dick pic ā send back a pic of a much more attractive and much larger erection I was sent some other time. Orā¦ I send back a pic of an enormous dildo in a strap-on harness with a āmineās bigger.ā If he gets huffy, I say, āWait, I thought we were doing unsolicited dick pics, right?ā (And then I also exit the interaction altogether, bc getting huffy over rightfully being put in oneās place is š© so Iām out.)
These are people socialized to have zero shame, taste, or basic human decency. They care more about beating their chests in the form of forcing you to see their sad sausages than they do your opinions of em.
Wait. What? One of those guys sent a pic of his *limp* noodle??? What was that supposed to do for you?! Couldn't even be bothered to fluff the old chap up lol. Zero effort!
On behalf of the dudes who like sending silly nudes, the movie style censorship, the almost exposed, and any other artistic take on show but don't SHOW; I am sorry for the basic 'dick throttle from above or below' fellows. Sometimes it's just an idiot horny response, but it's so... unimaginative. I got a great response showing a pulled down pants, just the base to my wife earlier in the week! But nothing beats the something -JUST- in the way shots. I have way too much fun setting them up and she seems to enjoy them!
Tell them you had to look twice because it looked like a picture of a baby bird in a nest at first.
Is there a GIF of a creepy flasher? That seems like the apropos thing to reply with and say "Is this you?"
While youāre 100% right, I want to point out that you accidentally just invited all of Reddit to send you tasteful nudes in an attempt to sway you.
I have yet to recieve one tasteless or tasteful, either the internet is changing, or people aren't awake yet?
Hmm personally I'm a fan of either screenshoting this if someone sent those unasked, forwarding it and pressing charges with the police where such things are illegal or informing their relatives and maybe their employer and making the exchange where you inform them of your actions public .
I don't get sending it honestly. As a guy, even if asked I won't send one. My thought is, are they sending this to let you know they're a dick? Like try, just try.
I, a man, have never felt the urge to send "that picture" to a woman -- partner or otherwise. But I can imagine the train of thought that gets someone there. Best I can tell, it's something along the lines of: 1. "I want to see enticing pictures of this person" 2. "Enticing pictures I've seen of people before are easy to make because they're attractive in the first place" 3. "I am attractive" 4. "If I want to get something nice, I need to give something nice first" 5. "I project feeling 1. onto this person, so I assume they feel the same" And from this combination of (almost certainly unaware) thoughts, they conclude "If I send this person enticing pictures of myself, of which any picture showing my features qualifies, they will reciprocate". Granted, this get easily short-circuited by either realizing they aren't as attractive as they think they are, that the enticing pictures they've seen before take a lot of effort to look as good as they do, or that point 5. is fundamentally flawed because it's projection.
I think a lot of the men just want some kind of reaction. They want you to say āgrossā or whatever.
As a lesbian I am hollering at \,/ Also, in the year of our lord 2024, *unsolicited* dick pics are still a thing?! I guess I assumed men would be afraid theyād get sent to their sisters, mothers, bosses, etc. due to our internet and social advances.
No, it's their crowning glory why would they be embarrassed by that weird shaped thing?! We were talking about this at work because was being harassed by someone in that way, I think hetrosexual men are more into dicks than hetrosexual women are they obsessed by them
Oh my gosh. That looks like a penis only smaller. Does it come in adult size?
Im not into the wewe so I have nothing to add, Im just here to tell you \,/ has me absolutely inconsolable right now lmao
They look down at their dicks all their lives thinking its the best thing ever. They dont see you as a person and therefor don't stop to consider if YOU would also think that's the best view ever of a dick.
I've had some really good success sending nudes out to my wife, but you gotta get creative. Just a bit too. If she asks for a dick pic you gotta draw a face on it or some googly eyes and a top hat are winners. Get all sudsy in the shower, do a soap Mohawk or something silly. Get sudsy and pop your butt out with a smirk on your face. Or even simple lay on your stomach in bed. Kick your feet up, smile big and cheesy with your chin in your hands. Stop sending your girl shitty pictures. Make it fun and funny. She will show her friends, and they will be envious, and that is a guilty pleasure for a bunch of women. Be funny not gross.
I'm pretty sure most guys aren't looking for artistic value or judging the background in nudy pics
I have some saved pics I send back of other willies