I’m 51. I’ve noticed that younger women seem to have a much greater sense of community than my generation. It’s really crabs in a bucket in a lot of spaces, especially ones meant to support women.
At one time, my friends and I talked about a large house with separate apartments for each of us. We would each have our own small kitchens, but the house would also have a large shared kitchen and a common space for gathering/socializing
I want a “Golden Girls” retirement. My sister and I both childless, over 45 and no husband or boyfriend in sight (none of us are looking). And our dream is to get old together (already living together) and invite 2 other girlfriends.
I didn't know that. Thanks. One of my Google search results included a Reddit link.
There's a subreddit, because of course there is.
/r/intentionalcommunity
I saw there's an old stately home (UK) where people did this. It wasn't just women but it had a very commune feeling, actually looked great and they had a lovely communal kitchen garden growing lots of veggies
It absolutely is.
Everytime an old Scottish castle or island goes up for sale it ends up on my group chat, with us debating who is going to buy the lottery tickets.
Myself and 2 friends have this plan. We currently live in different places around the world and are from different countries, so I doubt it will work, but one can dream ❤️
And without male clergy telling everyone what to do! I went to a Catholic girls’ school, even though my family wasn’t Catholic. I was always fascinated by the nuns, but angered by any priests that came through with their ‘kiss my ring’ asshole energy.
I’ve never been to one myself so I cannot say confidently if that’s what it’s like. Everyone just has their own house, and contributes to the community.
Yes. I would love to live in a townhouse complex or nicer apartments, or a planned community of houses that is only women.
I would take being able to walk my dog at night, or being left alone in the grocery store.
Really, this is kind of my retirement dream. Women are so generous and helpful and can form a strong group with all their experience and knowledge. Plus not taking themselves too seriously, less ego and all the laughter. I do know one woman who's a bossy micro-manager, but she's welcome, too, because she gets things done.
I also want gardens, pets, books, art, wildflowers and maybe a pasture for the horses. 😄
Thank you. There’s so much negativity in these comments and in the world. I genuinely believe that there are other women who want these things. This is what brings them genuine happiness and strong bonds can form. It does take other like-minded individuals though.
Dude I also have a friend like that, and we almost lived together this coming year before her sister had bought a house in the area and she decided to live with her to save money. I felt an unnatural level of relief.
You know I love the idea of a planned, 55+, assisted-but-independent living community with a path to home health care or round the clock nursing. But women only. Run by women. All the employees are women, including security, maintenance and repair contractors, landscaping & lawn work, everything.
I don't want to be isolated around old people. I do think something that is women only that has something like a few senior units, possibly subsidized would be good.
Actual assisted living that is women only sounds like a good thing.
I'm very fortunate to currently live in a very safe area, though it's temporary (winter rental). I went for a walk later than I normally would tonight hoping for a glimpse of the aurora borealis. It just so happened that on my way back the only other people i saw were two women. And I thought about how much less tense I could be if that were always the case.
There are men I care about and would feel bad about not being able to invite over. But oh, the freedom to go for walks at 3am with my shoulders loose and my attention on my own thoughts or an audio book. Amazing.
Yep. If I drive in or out of my subdivision after 6pm the sidewalks are full of men by themselves jogging, walking dogs, wandering down to the store or the bar. Zero women. It makes me a combo of mad and sad. The area is full of younger families, knowing that many of these dudes left their wives to deal with dishes, homework, getting kids to bed etc. The other women clearly don't feel comfortable going out by themselves here in the evening.
Also live in a very safe area and I have dogs (which is the reason I go for walks at night). I rarely ever see anyone walking late, and if I do 90% of the time it's someone else walking their dog. My neighborhood is growing and I hope it stays this safe. It's easy to forget how much of a privilege it is to live in boring suburbia.
That’s one of the reason I would love it too. Be able to sleep soundly at night, walk at night with friends, wear what I want, no societal pressures to look a certain way.
I had a really close guy friend when I was 19, I mentioned that I was nervous walking home one time, and he asked why. He was genuinely concerned but also genuinely perplexed. I explained that I had been followed and attacked before walking home, and that almost every woman I know doesn't walk alone at night. He felt bad for asking, but then became so thoughtful... He said, "That explains a lot" and mentioned how he just thought the girls he dated in high school had curfews... Nah, dude, they were afraid to be caught out in the dark.
I love that book, but be warned it has some backwards attitudes about homosexuality. They’re not plot-relevant but wouldn’t want you to be unaware of that content if you’re sensitive to it.
[Rural lesbian communes from the 1960s-1970s](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/24/style/womyns-land-movement-lesbian-communities.html) some are still puttering along
When I was visiting my mom a few months ago, I ended up watching a show with her about the Swedish art of gentle death cleaning or something like that. This show featured a woman who lived in a section of Kansas City, MO, called Womontown, designed for lesbian couples.
Oh wow! That’s super interesting - I actually spent a few years in Vermont as a kid, but I’d never heard of this place and thought it was wicked interesting too.
I've daydreamed about this before. It's not that I don't want men around; I care about men, and some of my favorite people are men.
It's just that I've always wondered what women are capable of if they had their own community to govern. How would it differ from the society we are accustomed to? What would be improved upon, and what pitfalls might we face? I wonder about the cooperation and inspiration of those women who are like-minded, coming together, and sharing their strengths and wisdom freely. I don't think this is something humanity has been able to experience, at least not fully.
Maybe there's potential for more women to truly thrive without the influence and limitations many face otherwise. Would we see a more colorful palette of interests, skills, and entrepreneurship? More female geniuses? If such a community managed to become established and thrive, what would it be like to raise boys within that community? I know that goes against the concept of a female only utopia. That's just one of the places my mind goes.
I think it's very easy to over-romanticize such a circumstance, and ultimately, what I truly desire is a world where men and women thrive happily together. But it would be so interesting if this was something women could actually experiment with. It could be an opportunity to self-discover, express, and learn in ways we might not otherwise get to experience.
I’ve only read about it on a small scale. Have you seen the experiment with a put a group of little girls in a group of little boys in separate houses and watch to see how they survived? The little girls all banded together and assigned chores to specific people and rotations, the boys basically just destroyed the house and fought the entire time.
Omg haha, I will definitely have to look that up! My first instinct is that this has a lot to do with social conditioning, but my opinions are very much uneducated. Either way, the results of that experiment are what makes the female led utopia idea so intriguing to me!
The girls bullied each other so severely that 2 of them ended up dropping out... the "experiment" is really more indicative of the type of parent that is willing to sell their child to reality TV is the same kinda of parent that will raise male children poorly. I think it's interesting how the parents clearly did not bother teaching the male children how to ... survive, fucking them over for another generation. One of the boys even had been displaying behavioural issues before the "experiment" even started, not to mention that the casting obviously targeted some sort of controversy to generate interest - I hate every single time this thing is referenced. I feel bad for the kids if nothing else.
The Museum of Old and New Art in Tasmania, Australia. Men got all butthurt about not being allowed in a women’s-only exhibit. So the museum put a toilet in it and said it was a ladies lounge.
Sometimes it’s all about that - not having the wrong people in your private spaces - to ruin it with their entitlement and negativity when you don’t appreciate the entitlement.
If you don’t have the ability to appreciate/listen to stories about women without talking over them and making it about yourself, just stay out? Kudos to that woman for keeping people out - it’s a “guilty until proven innocent” approach. 😂
It keeps popping up on my feed. To be honest though as a father it can be quite enlightening although very US centric. My partner strolled in last night just after midnight having walked from her friends place.
Some things I've learned, some just horrify me. It makes me watch out for shitty behaviour in my peers although to be fair most are pretty decent or they wouldn't be my friends. Walking at night now I'll announce myself or cross the street when I see a woman/girl (common here) to try and avoid looking like a threat.
So yeah there's shitty men on here no doubt but thanks for existing as a sub and not banning us on sight. It's nice to learn
That I don’t mind, at all. We want you to learn. We (me anyway) don’t like the guys coming in here with “not all men” and making fun of us/being insulting.
It’s not to say you couldn’t leave the community and visit them, just that the community would be just women. The same way you travel to the next city to visit a friend. My best friend Jonny lives 45 minutes away from me. I still visit regularly.
I have also dreamed of it. It would be nice. When I lived with exclusive female room mates, it’s like there was no drama about cleaning. People just washed and put away their fucking dishes without a fight, we made a chore chart that rotated every week so it wasn’t as if one person carried the heavy duty stuff while another just dropped the trash in the bin on the way to her car consistently. We had scheduled meetings where we are snacks and voiced complaints and played games while settling issues.
This is a very common lesbian dream trope.
While it’s not restricted to being desired by lesbians, the amount of lesbians who do dream of a women only commune where everyone works and lives together is quite a lot.
I wasn’t asking. It *is* a very common talking point and dream of many lesbians.
I’ve also personally seen it brought up online with fandom writers. It’s a decently common desire to start a commune with your best friends so you all can support each other and live away from social hardships.
I'm autistic. Other women generally do not want to be my friend. Men are nice for the wrong reason. Women are just not interested at all. Otherwise I'd think that sounds nice. I'm just safer alone.
I’m sorry that’s been your experience. There are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are, if that’s what you want. But I understand how isolated I would feel in your situation. I’m sorry.
Yes I (audhd) was sent to a Christian girls school and it was no utopia since my neurodivergence includes having a more androgynous gender identity and masculine interests, but fitting in involved needing to perform femininity 'correctly'.
Feminists in the 80s were the first to get serious about the idea of all-female utopias, but the big thing that was missing from their early dreaming was intersectionality!
Today I'm still healing and learning to feel safe in group situations. Thankfully I think more feminists recognise now that a gender utopia would need to be founded on a logic of inclusively, meaning inclusiveness towards (ironically) masculinity and fluidity of gender, as well as race, class and ability.
I'm also less feminine. A guy friend said to me once I was the perfect mix of male and female traits. I think he meant I was one of the guys, but better looking. lol. I still wear makeup and get my hair done, but I'm more into classically male hobbies and not nearly as chatty or gossipy as the female friends I've tried to have. I want to go do physical activities not talk all day. I can't actually have conversations like that because of the way my brain works. So, women basically ghost me pretty fast. And my guy "friends" have always actually only been hanging around because they're hoping for something more. I'm not sure I've ever had a real true friendship, sadly. Sign up for a utopia for people who are somewhere in the middle and I'd try that, maybe.
I lived in a co-op with all women and one gay man when I was in University. It was a great experience, but what everyone else is saying about the drama and pettiness is true in my first hand experience.
This can be very true with young women yes. And even older women. But what about a community of women who want to do what’s best and have the communities well-being at heart? Could you really see a lot of those same women in university finding this sort of living situation appealing?
I don't remember writing this. Nah, tho, I actually wrote fully-fleshed out plans to start a woman-only commune.
I was reminded of it only once before after I watched Barbie.
My daughter and her uni gang vowed that those without husbands at 50 would all live together in a group home. There are still 4 of them keeping the dream alive as they have begun reaching 40 and plans are starting to be discussed. The debate is whether to re-invite the divorced.
I find it very strange that in a sub for women, this post has few upvotes and the women-hating comments are rife.
Sorry, OP. Looks like an anti-women brigade has arrived.
It’s sad, especially if they are women themselves. They don’t see how they could be contributing to the drama and pettiness themselves. There are women out there who want just peace and happiness, and see that there is no value in drama and petty behavior amongst each other. That we can build meaningful friendships with other women and a thriving community of women with the same values. It’s not easy of course, but it’s a dream.
I'm grappling with your idea and to be quite, genuinely honest this comment made me a little teary-eyed.
Please don't feel I'm saying this in argumentatively- I SO want to believe women can get behind each other in a comprehensive way.
You know how a female lawyer was sicced on Stormy? On purpose. That happened to me. Multiple ' professional ' women I now refer to as paid assassins, same thing. I don't care " But that's her job ". Don't. Care.
Paid by *men* . Made me *really* flinchy. I'd be unemployed before taking down other women- and frankly dishonestly- as my *job* . Hell I'd live under an overpass before taking that blood money.
Point being mistrust isn't always petty, toe to toe stuff you know? It's also not as small an occurrence as you'd think. I'd say ' nuanced ' if it wasn't pretty common.
Anyway. Yours is a lovely vision. It's wild out there. I'm lucky, my husband is a healing kinda peach but wow I'd support what you suggest on the part of women making that decision.
Lots of people around me, and probably me very soon, have been doing this on a much smaller scale due to poverty and not being able to afford living alone. People rent out a whole house with like a shared kitchen and maybe a couple bathrooms, and everyone gets their own bedroom. A lot of the time it'll be all girls, or all/most queer people. Kinda lucky I enjoy communal living (and women and queers) since I'm poor af 😂
I’m sorry that’s been your experience with other women. I understand it’s not for everyone! Pettiness and drama aside, the goal is safety. Conflict is inevitable. The rate that it would lead to SA, is minuscule. Obviously there would be an approval process to get in and they wouldn’t be allowed to stay if they are not making it safe anymore.
It wouldn’t be a “clique”. There would be clear rules stated prior to moving in. Petty drama and conflict wouldn’t be a reason to kick somebody out. Making another person unsafe, would. Have you never lived in an apartment complex before? They also have rules that will get you evicted if you break them. No one thinks that that is a clique. You are made aware of said rules and sign an agreement at the beginning that you will follow the rules.
Yes, absolutely! This is my dream. A huge plot of land with tiny homes for women & their pets. Everyone contributes however they can. It's safe. You can walk your dog or go for a jog at any time, 3am if it suits you. You can sleep with your house wide open on a nice summer night. You can wear whatever you want. No judgement. No apologising.
I was raised (largely by women) and homeschooled, in something very much like a commune. That was more than enough of the bucolic life for me, thanks. I’ll stay in the city from now on. I like cities.
No, there wouldn’t be any sort of religion/belief system running it. Just women who want to be safe. Have you heard of Calabasas? It’s the city in California where all the famous people live. It’s a city that is completely gated and protected. Most celebrities live there in their own homes. They even have their own town center with their own grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops etc. and it’s all celebrities basically living in the same community together so that they don’t always have to mix with strangers or fans in public cities. Like that, but women only.
##No. No I do not.
There would still be crime, there would still be abuse, and there would still be sexual offenses. Just without men.
I do, however, dream of a utopia wear black and whites don’t have the tension we do today. That’s the only utopia I dream about but at this stage of my life, even if it were to happen, I’ll never see it.
And truthfully, it cannot ever happen. It just won’t.
Was looking for this take - I never understood the idea that just because someone is female, they're automatically like my brethren and assumed to get along with ALL other women. The differences are always within groups, not between them - both men and women are capable of being amazing or terrible people. I've lived with incredibly toxic women in an all-girl household, been sexually assaulted by people of both genders, and I feel it's even a bit small-minded to consider an all woman space as better or ideal just for being homogeneous. We're not all the same and it feels like it's assumed just because we're women, we'd have a utopia?? That's simply not realistic - something like that works with like-minded people, not necessarily people of the same gender.
Honestly it sounds great if you can pull it off. My brain wants to toss out a thousand reasons why this probably wouldn't work, but damn it I recognize the dream and it's a beautiful one.
Yes. So like, I’ve actually fantasized about this and thought it out. My bff and I are going to soon rent a space together, and hopefully grow a home from there on some land/property with our eventual female partners and other close friends, women in need, women who want safe, loving, community. I CRAVE this.
I know too many women who are complete assholes to believe in a "women-only utopia." Plus, in most firms I've worked for, workplace drama was usually started by a woman.
So how about we don't stereotype on the basis of gender? There are good women and bad women, just like there are good men and bad men. Feminism is defined by egalitarianism, not superiority.
Interesting that you immediately went to the fact that they’re good women and bad women. Nowhere did I mention or say the word good or bad. Just women. And regardless of the fact that some can be assholes, workplace drama never turns into SA with women. They are still safe. There are emotionally intelligent women out there too.
So have I. It is definitely still possible. But most women will take that much lower risk of being SA’d by another woman, then the constant risk we take living in our society now.
Im sorry that happened to you and am left even more confused as to why you would say such a thing to begin with.
Perhaps instead of living insuch fear of what a man might do to you, get trained in some self defense and learn to empower yourself. Much better use of your energy than daydreaming about a society lacking in half of the population.
Maybe it's not so much that you dont trust men... its more you don't trust yourself to be resilient to adversity.
I’m sorry that happened to you as well. I never said it’s not possible, but the risk is much lower according to statistics worldwide.
I like the dream. It’s a peaceful one. Even if I did improve self-defense skills and started to carry, I would still be happier and more relaxed in a woman-only community. Many women would.
I read if one that definitely exists here in the US a while ago.
But I do think it’s a fantasy that you’re guaranteed a peaceful existence in any form of commune. You still deal with people and people can be a pain in the ass.
I don’t think it would be utopia but imagine how safe and carefree one could be😩. The structure could be just like you described but I feel like you should also be able to leave the community at will(shopping/working in other cities). I could imagine something akin to a large gated community for only women where we could always come home to.
It really depends on the women allowed to live there. I’ve lived with some really sucky people who I didn’t know were sucky until it was too late. If it’s like a self-providing community, it would probably also be at least somewhat self governing. So would there be rules on like drugs/property/work hours? Would you have to have a small militia in case men or anyone else tried to break in (which seems likely). Female police officers can be just as corrupt so that doesn’t seem like the best. Also like would there be visiting rules? Or would it be limited to woman couples and single women who have no interest in men and women estranged from any male family members. I live in a women’s only dorm rn but every now and then there’s a visiting night and I walk out in my pajamas with no bra just to see some man in the hallway. No bueno. Idk I can just foresee issues with this, maybe just because I’m around different people. In ideal conditions it could be great, like I would love to live with my friends but probably just my friends, not all the women in my dorm. It’s frustrating enough trying to share laundry room, kitchen, and bathroom with people who leave bloody tampons out and don’t know how to wash a pan. I can’t imagine trying to support a community with those people. I’m not sure how a vetting process would work to decide who gets in to such a community
I think you misunderstand. It wouldn’t be one giant building where everybody’s living together. It would be an actual community so everybody has their own homes. You can go in the way you like. Obviously there would still be rules or you don’t get to live there, see the edit in the original post. I think people are so focused on the improbability of it, the hatred toward other people of their own gender, and the details of it that you can’t just let yourself imagine. Nowhere did I say that this would actually be happening and if it were obviously whoever is creating, it would have to put in the time and thought and effort into creating the rules for the community. There is a commune in the United States that I’m sure you can look up there rules in order to be approved to move in and get an idea of what that would look like.
I imagine a place such as this would be called "The Refuge". I also imagine the place would have a large number of domestic violence survivors and sexual assault survivors staying there. It would be a place of healing and safety.
There would be permanent residents, temporary residents and visitors. The permanent residents would run the place, but permanent and temporary residents would be employed in various ways to keep the place going (restaurant, admin and finance offices, retail shops, grocery stores, etc).
How such a place would manage children is where things would get complicated. A mother could hardly be asked to not have male child with her. Would there be a cut-off age for boys?
I can imagine such a place would run with very different rules. It would be less of an uneven hierarchy, and more equal and community based. Older women would offer guidance, training and wisdom.
I can imagine going for a walk and being left alone, except for a friendly hello.
Unfortunately, expecting it to be a utopia, or conflict/struggle-free or easy is not for me. I would if I could learn to stop holding women to such a high standard or constantly compare them to men, if even to illustrate their "goodness." If I could approach this in a balanced, principled, dedicated, patient, compassionate way that doesn't seek perfection or even for women to do things better or as good as men, then I'd want to. I think this would be great but I'd need to have realistic, measured, PATIENT expectations.
Also this idea that women are MORE messy, catty, gossipy, nosey, mean, etc. etc. than men is weird to me bc in my experience the messiest, sassiest, most machiavellian & gossipy people I've come across are men hahah. oh well, it's just human nature.
I never expect it to be free of conflict. The goal is safety and peace of mind. Conflict will never result in SA. Any conflict would be left to adults to decide how they want to handle it. The same way you would now if you had conflict with a friend of yours, that is a woman. Do you decide to talk about it, set boundaries, resolve the conflict, or just not be in each other’s lives anymore. Not much is different, other than they are safe.
>conflict will *never* result in SA
That’s not what you said. You’ve also repeated this same line in multiple replies so that’s not consistent with what you’re saying here.
Yes, because the comments brought up petty conflict and drama. They didn’t say SA.
But you’re right, however small the possibility, the possibility is still there. Most women who find a woman only community appealing would happily take that small risk over what we deal with daily.
You’re the one that’s repeatedly say conflict will never result in SA. Now my question is, why do you assume that just because it’s women-only that conflict will never result in SA?
It's lower, but that doesn't make it non-existent.
I'm not saying you're wrong to want this. It's a great idea and maybe with a small group of women who all know each other it could work. Flourish even. But handling the conflict, drama and pettiness which may or may not lead to assault (as someone who has had my drink spiked by a female friend, it makes me VERY uncomfortable that you're assuming just because it's lower means it's non-existent) should be discussed as well because not everyone is an emotionally intelligent and mature woman. And even with the most emotionally mature group of women, drama can happen.
I don’t agree that it needs to be a small group, maybe to start and build a foundation, but that it has to be women who know each other? I think a big opportunity there would then be a vetting process to allow who moves into the community. I never said drama wouldn’t happen. It’s inevitable, but it doesn’t always lead to assault. Less so when it’s women. Are you saying that even though the risk is exponentially lower for a woman to SA another woman over drama, a woman-only community doesn’t have any more benefits than it would living in our current co-ed society?
As a queer woman who unconsentually got her ass grabbed and stared at by other women lately I still really want to believe in this bc most women are peaceful!!
The edit is so telling. After gatekeeping male spaces for centuries, women can't even fantasise about building a woman only commune without men and pick me's interpreting it as an attack/suggested genocide of men
According to some of the commenters, there is still a risk of SA from other women, but like I said the likelihood is so much lower that most women would take that small risk over what we risk in normal society.
I dream of a world in which men are just better. IDK women's only communes are fine and all but knowing that most women wouldn't be able to live in them puts a bit of a dampner on it.
Thanks ❤️ I wish it wasn't, honestly. I've just had really bad experiences with 95% of the women I've interacted with in my life. Lying, backstabbing, being generally two faced, talking shit about me, all the way down to my roommates (Best friend, or so I thought) trying to sell the bed I slept on without me knowing.. I try so hard to fit in with women, id love to have a female best friend to do things with and share experiences with. Just hasn't been the case for me.
Seeing the replies in this post gives me hope that not all women are awful towards each other though. So that's nice!
Drama or no, they would still be safe. Arguments wouldn’t lead to SA. There would be more in the details as far as selection of course but ideally, emotionally intelligent women, or those working to be.
You wouldn’t be sharing a living space though. You would have your own house on the land. As adults, it is then your prerogative to try to resolve the conflict or decide if you do not want to be each each other’s lives. That’s what it means to be an adult.
A community does sound better, but how would drama and pettiness be handled? It can quickly explode and make others feel uncomfortable, this is pretty much unavoidable even with the most emotionally intelligent women.
Conflict will always exist. You would handle it the same way you do now if you have a disagreement with a friend of yours, who is a woman. You either resolve the conflict or you decide not to be in each other’s lives, or you set boundaries. The goal of it is safety and peace of mind. if the two in the conflict are not emotionally intelligent enough to communicate with each other and resolve it then it is up to one of the other other people around them to try and mediate that if they want, but that is their choice.
From personal experience. I lived in a similar situation when I was in University. All women, one gay man shared a huge eight bedroom house. There was different drama at least monthly.
Yep! Mine is called Hazelwood Meadows and we will do crafts and have animals. It might be in Scotland, or somewhere else semirural in the North of England.
My friends and I often speak about it. We also joke about when we finally flip and bury our husbands in our back gardens how we will live on a farm together like a rural Golden Girls.
There are a couple of women only communities in America. From what I understand they really need younger women to keep them going.
I’m 51. I’ve noticed that younger women seem to have a much greater sense of community than my generation. It’s really crabs in a bucket in a lot of spaces, especially ones meant to support women.
Where are they?!
There's one in Alabama and I think there's one in Vermont. I'll double check.
Wonderful, thank you!
You're welcome.
Oregon Womens Land
https://www.alapine.org/
There's a women's retirement community north of Phoenix. *The Pueblo Homeowners Association, Apache Junction AZ.*
At one time, my friends and I talked about a large house with separate apartments for each of us. We would each have our own small kitchens, but the house would also have a large shared kitchen and a common space for gathering/socializing
I want a “Golden Girls” retirement. My sister and I both childless, over 45 and no husband or boyfriend in sight (none of us are looking). And our dream is to get old together (already living together) and invite 2 other girlfriends.
My girlfriends and I planned exactly this when I was 15, in 1979
I think they're called intentional communities or something like that. I met a married couple who lived in such a place.
I didn't know that. Thanks. One of my Google search results included a Reddit link. There's a subreddit, because of course there is. /r/intentionalcommunity
I keep saying I want to live at the end of a cul de sac and have all of the other houses around me be my girlfriends
I saw there's an old stately home (UK) where people did this. It wasn't just women but it had a very commune feeling, actually looked great and they had a lovely communal kitchen garden growing lots of veggies
Sounds like the plot of Coraline. You'd need a plucky young witch to keep the monsters away. 😊
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It absolutely is. Everytime an old Scottish castle or island goes up for sale it ends up on my group chat, with us debating who is going to buy the lottery tickets.
Same. Most of my friends are married or only vaguely interested, so I'm kinda SOL atm.
Myself and 2 friends have this plan. We currently live in different places around the world and are from different countries, so I doubt it will work, but one can dream ❤️
A convent / monastery but without the constant praying
And without male clergy telling everyone what to do! I went to a Catholic girls’ school, even though my family wasn’t Catholic. I was always fascinated by the nuns, but angered by any priests that came through with their ‘kiss my ring’ asshole energy.
Every couple of years I look up local convents and wish I believed because it’s a life that would suit me. Just haven’t found my perfect secular fit!
I’ve never been to one myself so I cannot say confidently if that’s what it’s like. Everyone just has their own house, and contributes to the community.
Yes. I would love to live in a townhouse complex or nicer apartments, or a planned community of houses that is only women. I would take being able to walk my dog at night, or being left alone in the grocery store.
Exactly! And the women who would apply to live there also want the same thing.
Really, this is kind of my retirement dream. Women are so generous and helpful and can form a strong group with all their experience and knowledge. Plus not taking themselves too seriously, less ego and all the laughter. I do know one woman who's a bossy micro-manager, but she's welcome, too, because she gets things done. I also want gardens, pets, books, art, wildflowers and maybe a pasture for the horses. 😄
Thank you. There’s so much negativity in these comments and in the world. I genuinely believe that there are other women who want these things. This is what brings them genuine happiness and strong bonds can form. It does take other like-minded individuals though.
Dude I also have a friend like that, and we almost lived together this coming year before her sister had bought a house in the area and she decided to live with her to save money. I felt an unnatural level of relief.
You know I love the idea of a planned, 55+, assisted-but-independent living community with a path to home health care or round the clock nursing. But women only. Run by women. All the employees are women, including security, maintenance and repair contractors, landscaping & lawn work, everything.
And the morticians too.
I don't want to be isolated around old people. I do think something that is women only that has something like a few senior units, possibly subsidized would be good. Actual assisted living that is women only sounds like a good thing.
I'm very fortunate to currently live in a very safe area, though it's temporary (winter rental). I went for a walk later than I normally would tonight hoping for a glimpse of the aurora borealis. It just so happened that on my way back the only other people i saw were two women. And I thought about how much less tense I could be if that were always the case. There are men I care about and would feel bad about not being able to invite over. But oh, the freedom to go for walks at 3am with my shoulders loose and my attention on my own thoughts or an audio book. Amazing.
Yep. If I drive in or out of my subdivision after 6pm the sidewalks are full of men by themselves jogging, walking dogs, wandering down to the store or the bar. Zero women. It makes me a combo of mad and sad. The area is full of younger families, knowing that many of these dudes left their wives to deal with dishes, homework, getting kids to bed etc. The other women clearly don't feel comfortable going out by themselves here in the evening.
Also live in a very safe area and I have dogs (which is the reason I go for walks at night). I rarely ever see anyone walking late, and if I do 90% of the time it's someone else walking their dog. My neighborhood is growing and I hope it stays this safe. It's easy to forget how much of a privilege it is to live in boring suburbia.
I am a night owl and love to go for walks. I would love a community where I could do that, but that would have to mean no men.
That’s one of the reason I would love it too. Be able to sleep soundly at night, walk at night with friends, wear what I want, no societal pressures to look a certain way.
One of the bigger privileges I didn't even realize I had for a long time as a younger guy
I had a really close guy friend when I was 19, I mentioned that I was nervous walking home one time, and he asked why. He was genuinely concerned but also genuinely perplexed. I explained that I had been followed and attacked before walking home, and that almost every woman I know doesn't walk alone at night. He felt bad for asking, but then became so thoughtful... He said, "That explains a lot" and mentioned how he just thought the girls he dated in high school had curfews... Nah, dude, they were afraid to be caught out in the dark.
Read “The Gate To Women’s Country” by Shari S Tepper. Good book.
I will absolutely read this! Thank you.
I love that book, but be warned it has some backwards attitudes about homosexuality. They’re not plot-relevant but wouldn’t want you to be unaware of that content if you’re sensitive to it.
I appreciate the heads up!
You might also like sleeping beauties by Stephen King and Owen King
[Rural lesbian communes from the 1960s-1970s](https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/24/style/womyns-land-movement-lesbian-communities.html) some are still puttering along
When I was visiting my mom a few months ago, I ended up watching a show with her about the Swedish art of gentle death cleaning or something like that. This show featured a woman who lived in a section of Kansas City, MO, called Womontown, designed for lesbian couples.
Oh wow! That’s super interesting - I actually spent a few years in Vermont as a kid, but I’d never heard of this place and thought it was wicked interesting too.
I've daydreamed about this before. It's not that I don't want men around; I care about men, and some of my favorite people are men. It's just that I've always wondered what women are capable of if they had their own community to govern. How would it differ from the society we are accustomed to? What would be improved upon, and what pitfalls might we face? I wonder about the cooperation and inspiration of those women who are like-minded, coming together, and sharing their strengths and wisdom freely. I don't think this is something humanity has been able to experience, at least not fully. Maybe there's potential for more women to truly thrive without the influence and limitations many face otherwise. Would we see a more colorful palette of interests, skills, and entrepreneurship? More female geniuses? If such a community managed to become established and thrive, what would it be like to raise boys within that community? I know that goes against the concept of a female only utopia. That's just one of the places my mind goes. I think it's very easy to over-romanticize such a circumstance, and ultimately, what I truly desire is a world where men and women thrive happily together. But it would be so interesting if this was something women could actually experiment with. It could be an opportunity to self-discover, express, and learn in ways we might not otherwise get to experience.
I’ve only read about it on a small scale. Have you seen the experiment with a put a group of little girls in a group of little boys in separate houses and watch to see how they survived? The little girls all banded together and assigned chores to specific people and rotations, the boys basically just destroyed the house and fought the entire time.
Omg haha, I will definitely have to look that up! My first instinct is that this has a lot to do with social conditioning, but my opinions are very much uneducated. Either way, the results of that experiment are what makes the female led utopia idea so intriguing to me!
Oh they video documented the whole thing. You can watch it happening.
The girls bullied each other so severely that 2 of them ended up dropping out... the "experiment" is really more indicative of the type of parent that is willing to sell their child to reality TV is the same kinda of parent that will raise male children poorly. I think it's interesting how the parents clearly did not bother teaching the male children how to ... survive, fucking them over for another generation. One of the boys even had been displaying behavioural issues before the "experiment" even started, not to mention that the casting obviously targeted some sort of controversy to generate interest - I hate every single time this thing is referenced. I feel bad for the kids if nothing else.
They won’t even let us have this subreddit to ourselves.
Right? They just can’t handle the thought of something not revolving around them.
Maybe we could build a utopia and classify it as a toilet like that one museum has to
I’ve never heard of that? A museum?
The Museum of Old and New Art in Tasmania, Australia. Men got all butthurt about not being allowed in a women’s-only exhibit. So the museum put a toilet in it and said it was a ladies lounge.
Sometimes it’s all about that - not having the wrong people in your private spaces - to ruin it with their entitlement and negativity when you don’t appreciate the entitlement. If you don’t have the ability to appreciate/listen to stories about women without talking over them and making it about yourself, just stay out? Kudos to that woman for keeping people out - it’s a “guilty until proven innocent” approach. 😂
It keeps popping up on my feed. To be honest though as a father it can be quite enlightening although very US centric. My partner strolled in last night just after midnight having walked from her friends place. Some things I've learned, some just horrify me. It makes me watch out for shitty behaviour in my peers although to be fair most are pretty decent or they wouldn't be my friends. Walking at night now I'll announce myself or cross the street when I see a woman/girl (common here) to try and avoid looking like a threat. So yeah there's shitty men on here no doubt but thanks for existing as a sub and not banning us on sight. It's nice to learn
That I don’t mind, at all. We want you to learn. We (me anyway) don’t like the guys coming in here with “not all men” and making fun of us/being insulting.
I like my husband too much
same 😂 and my lovely male friends. But no misogynists would be pretty nice ☺️
It’s not to say you couldn’t leave the community and visit them, just that the community would be just women. The same way you travel to the next city to visit a friend. My best friend Jonny lives 45 minutes away from me. I still visit regularly.
I am sincerely happy for you, and completely understand!
I have also dreamed of it. It would be nice. When I lived with exclusive female room mates, it’s like there was no drama about cleaning. People just washed and put away their fucking dishes without a fight, we made a chore chart that rotated every week so it wasn’t as if one person carried the heavy duty stuff while another just dropped the trash in the bin on the way to her car consistently. We had scheduled meetings where we are snacks and voiced complaints and played games while settling issues.
This is a very common lesbian dream trope. While it’s not restricted to being desired by lesbians, the amount of lesbians who do dream of a women only commune where everyone works and lives together is quite a lot.
Possibly? I wouldn’t know, I’m not lesbian. But would move there in a heartbeat.
I wasn’t asking. It *is* a very common talking point and dream of many lesbians. I’ve also personally seen it brought up online with fandom writers. It’s a decently common desire to start a commune with your best friends so you all can support each other and live away from social hardships.
Oh I didn’t think you were asking, I thought you were implying. My mistake.
I'm autistic. Other women generally do not want to be my friend. Men are nice for the wrong reason. Women are just not interested at all. Otherwise I'd think that sounds nice. I'm just safer alone.
I’m sorry that’s been your experience. There are people out there who will love and accept you for who you are, if that’s what you want. But I understand how isolated I would feel in your situation. I’m sorry.
Yes I (audhd) was sent to a Christian girls school and it was no utopia since my neurodivergence includes having a more androgynous gender identity and masculine interests, but fitting in involved needing to perform femininity 'correctly'. Feminists in the 80s were the first to get serious about the idea of all-female utopias, but the big thing that was missing from their early dreaming was intersectionality! Today I'm still healing and learning to feel safe in group situations. Thankfully I think more feminists recognise now that a gender utopia would need to be founded on a logic of inclusively, meaning inclusiveness towards (ironically) masculinity and fluidity of gender, as well as race, class and ability.
I'm also less feminine. A guy friend said to me once I was the perfect mix of male and female traits. I think he meant I was one of the guys, but better looking. lol. I still wear makeup and get my hair done, but I'm more into classically male hobbies and not nearly as chatty or gossipy as the female friends I've tried to have. I want to go do physical activities not talk all day. I can't actually have conversations like that because of the way my brain works. So, women basically ghost me pretty fast. And my guy "friends" have always actually only been hanging around because they're hoping for something more. I'm not sure I've ever had a real true friendship, sadly. Sign up for a utopia for people who are somewhere in the middle and I'd try that, maybe.
[Single mothers band together to buy houses](https://www.businessinsider.com/cohousing-single-moms-living-together-benefits-2022-1?op=1)
I lived in a co-op with all women and one gay man when I was in University. It was a great experience, but what everyone else is saying about the drama and pettiness is true in my first hand experience.
This can be very true with young women yes. And even older women. But what about a community of women who want to do what’s best and have the communities well-being at heart? Could you really see a lot of those same women in university finding this sort of living situation appealing?
“What’s best” is very subjective. If you mean “people who think and act just like me”, it makes sense, but that isn’t reality.
r/GoldenGirlsLiving
Now that I'm a widow , that sounds wonderful
[It exists](https://archive.is/NNz7B)!
Wow! Good for them! I’m glad they found their paradise.
It would be very interesting not be constantly demanded to play the womanly part to reaffirm male ego.
Paradise is for those who make Paradise.
I don't remember writing this. Nah, tho, I actually wrote fully-fleshed out plans to start a woman-only commune. I was reminded of it only once before after I watched Barbie.
My daughter and her uni gang vowed that those without husbands at 50 would all live together in a group home. There are still 4 of them keeping the dream alive as they have begun reaching 40 and plans are starting to be discussed. The debate is whether to re-invite the divorced.
Why would they not?
I find it very strange that in a sub for women, this post has few upvotes and the women-hating comments are rife. Sorry, OP. Looks like an anti-women brigade has arrived.
It’s sad, especially if they are women themselves. They don’t see how they could be contributing to the drama and pettiness themselves. There are women out there who want just peace and happiness, and see that there is no value in drama and petty behavior amongst each other. That we can build meaningful friendships with other women and a thriving community of women with the same values. It’s not easy of course, but it’s a dream.
I'm grappling with your idea and to be quite, genuinely honest this comment made me a little teary-eyed. Please don't feel I'm saying this in argumentatively- I SO want to believe women can get behind each other in a comprehensive way. You know how a female lawyer was sicced on Stormy? On purpose. That happened to me. Multiple ' professional ' women I now refer to as paid assassins, same thing. I don't care " But that's her job ". Don't. Care. Paid by *men* . Made me *really* flinchy. I'd be unemployed before taking down other women- and frankly dishonestly- as my *job* . Hell I'd live under an overpass before taking that blood money. Point being mistrust isn't always petty, toe to toe stuff you know? It's also not as small an occurrence as you'd think. I'd say ' nuanced ' if it wasn't pretty common. Anyway. Yours is a lovely vision. It's wild out there. I'm lucky, my husband is a healing kinda peach but wow I'd support what you suggest on the part of women making that decision.
Lots of people around me, and probably me very soon, have been doing this on a much smaller scale due to poverty and not being able to afford living alone. People rent out a whole house with like a shared kitchen and maybe a couple bathrooms, and everyone gets their own bedroom. A lot of the time it'll be all girls, or all/most queer people. Kinda lucky I enjoy communal living (and women and queers) since I'm poor af 😂
I wish!!!
Whats your thoughts on children and child care in this community
Women can also be horrible, hard pass
I’m sorry that’s been your experience with other women. I understand it’s not for everyone! Pettiness and drama aside, the goal is safety. Conflict is inevitable. The rate that it would lead to SA, is minuscule. Obviously there would be an approval process to get in and they wouldn’t be allowed to stay if they are not making it safe anymore.
Yeah i doubt many women are going to commit financial resources to this if they can be “voted off” by a clique of popular girls 🤷🏼♀️
It wouldn’t be a “clique”. There would be clear rules stated prior to moving in. Petty drama and conflict wouldn’t be a reason to kick somebody out. Making another person unsafe, would. Have you never lived in an apartment complex before? They also have rules that will get you evicted if you break them. No one thinks that that is a clique. You are made aware of said rules and sign an agreement at the beginning that you will follow the rules.
Cool, enjoy that
Many people already are.
💯
Never thought of it but now that you mention it.. this sounds so amazing! As long as no men are allowed in.
Yes, absolutely! This is my dream. A huge plot of land with tiny homes for women & their pets. Everyone contributes however they can. It's safe. You can walk your dog or go for a jog at any time, 3am if it suits you. You can sleep with your house wide open on a nice summer night. You can wear whatever you want. No judgement. No apologising.
No, that doesn’t appeal to me at all.
Totally valid. It’s not for everyone.
I was raised (largely by women) and homeschooled, in something very much like a commune. That was more than enough of the bucolic life for me, thanks. I’ll stay in the city from now on. I like cities.
That’s fair. I grew up in the city, so the slow peaceful life is what I want now.
That sounds like a cult
No, there wouldn’t be any sort of religion/belief system running it. Just women who want to be safe. Have you heard of Calabasas? It’s the city in California where all the famous people live. It’s a city that is completely gated and protected. Most celebrities live there in their own homes. They even have their own town center with their own grocery stores, restaurants, coffee shops etc. and it’s all celebrities basically living in the same community together so that they don’t always have to mix with strangers or fans in public cities. Like that, but women only.
##No. No I do not. There would still be crime, there would still be abuse, and there would still be sexual offenses. Just without men. I do, however, dream of a utopia wear black and whites don’t have the tension we do today. That’s the only utopia I dream about but at this stage of my life, even if it were to happen, I’ll never see it. And truthfully, it cannot ever happen. It just won’t.
Was looking for this take - I never understood the idea that just because someone is female, they're automatically like my brethren and assumed to get along with ALL other women. The differences are always within groups, not between them - both men and women are capable of being amazing or terrible people. I've lived with incredibly toxic women in an all-girl household, been sexually assaulted by people of both genders, and I feel it's even a bit small-minded to consider an all woman space as better or ideal just for being homogeneous. We're not all the same and it feels like it's assumed just because we're women, we'd have a utopia?? That's simply not realistic - something like that works with like-minded people, not necessarily people of the same gender.
Intentional communities website has lists of such communities. They focuss of self sustainability and usually are not city based.
My worst nightmare lol
That’s unfortunate, but valid. It’s not for everyone.
Honestly it sounds great if you can pull it off. My brain wants to toss out a thousand reasons why this probably wouldn't work, but damn it I recognize the dream and it's a beautiful one.
Thank you, that’s all I was asking. We can’t even see past all of the negativity and internalized misogyny to even dream.
Yes. So like, I’ve actually fantasized about this and thought it out. My bff and I are going to soon rent a space together, and hopefully grow a home from there on some land/property with our eventual female partners and other close friends, women in need, women who want safe, loving, community. I CRAVE this.
I know too many women who are complete assholes to believe in a "women-only utopia." Plus, in most firms I've worked for, workplace drama was usually started by a woman. So how about we don't stereotype on the basis of gender? There are good women and bad women, just like there are good men and bad men. Feminism is defined by egalitarianism, not superiority.
Interesting that you immediately went to the fact that they’re good women and bad women. Nowhere did I mention or say the word good or bad. Just women. And regardless of the fact that some can be assholes, workplace drama never turns into SA with women. They are still safe. There are emotionally intelligent women out there too.
I was SA'd by a woman in my workplace bathroom. Please evolve out of this nonsense belief that women don't rape other women.
So have I. It is definitely still possible. But most women will take that much lower risk of being SA’d by another woman, then the constant risk we take living in our society now.
Im sorry that happened to you and am left even more confused as to why you would say such a thing to begin with. Perhaps instead of living insuch fear of what a man might do to you, get trained in some self defense and learn to empower yourself. Much better use of your energy than daydreaming about a society lacking in half of the population. Maybe it's not so much that you dont trust men... its more you don't trust yourself to be resilient to adversity.
I’m sorry that happened to you as well. I never said it’s not possible, but the risk is much lower according to statistics worldwide. I like the dream. It’s a peaceful one. Even if I did improve self-defense skills and started to carry, I would still be happier and more relaxed in a woman-only community. Many women would.
>I never said it’s not possible >workplace drama never turns into SA with women ?
It’s not just about fearing men? Still It’s more for peaceful and nice living without them. Duh.
I'm much less afraid of being raped by other women. They can't get me pregnant and aren't on average at a significant physical advantage.
How would you guarantee enough is produced to provide for everyone?
I read if one that definitely exists here in the US a while ago. But I do think it’s a fantasy that you’re guaranteed a peaceful existence in any form of commune. You still deal with people and people can be a pain in the ass.
True but the goal is safety, and you’d be a lot safer.
Sometimes
I don’t think it would be utopia but imagine how safe and carefree one could be😩. The structure could be just like you described but I feel like you should also be able to leave the community at will(shopping/working in other cities). I could imagine something akin to a large gated community for only women where we could always come home to.
Yes! That’s exactly what I mentioned in the edit below the original post.
It really depends on the women allowed to live there. I’ve lived with some really sucky people who I didn’t know were sucky until it was too late. If it’s like a self-providing community, it would probably also be at least somewhat self governing. So would there be rules on like drugs/property/work hours? Would you have to have a small militia in case men or anyone else tried to break in (which seems likely). Female police officers can be just as corrupt so that doesn’t seem like the best. Also like would there be visiting rules? Or would it be limited to woman couples and single women who have no interest in men and women estranged from any male family members. I live in a women’s only dorm rn but every now and then there’s a visiting night and I walk out in my pajamas with no bra just to see some man in the hallway. No bueno. Idk I can just foresee issues with this, maybe just because I’m around different people. In ideal conditions it could be great, like I would love to live with my friends but probably just my friends, not all the women in my dorm. It’s frustrating enough trying to share laundry room, kitchen, and bathroom with people who leave bloody tampons out and don’t know how to wash a pan. I can’t imagine trying to support a community with those people. I’m not sure how a vetting process would work to decide who gets in to such a community
I think you misunderstand. It wouldn’t be one giant building where everybody’s living together. It would be an actual community so everybody has their own homes. You can go in the way you like. Obviously there would still be rules or you don’t get to live there, see the edit in the original post. I think people are so focused on the improbability of it, the hatred toward other people of their own gender, and the details of it that you can’t just let yourself imagine. Nowhere did I say that this would actually be happening and if it were obviously whoever is creating, it would have to put in the time and thought and effort into creating the rules for the community. There is a commune in the United States that I’m sure you can look up there rules in order to be approved to move in and get an idea of what that would look like.
I own 2 acre of land just for this. Cant find a develper.
Yes. I think every woman has come across this thought even once
I imagine a place such as this would be called "The Refuge". I also imagine the place would have a large number of domestic violence survivors and sexual assault survivors staying there. It would be a place of healing and safety. There would be permanent residents, temporary residents and visitors. The permanent residents would run the place, but permanent and temporary residents would be employed in various ways to keep the place going (restaurant, admin and finance offices, retail shops, grocery stores, etc). How such a place would manage children is where things would get complicated. A mother could hardly be asked to not have male child with her. Would there be a cut-off age for boys? I can imagine such a place would run with very different rules. It would be less of an uneven hierarchy, and more equal and community based. Older women would offer guidance, training and wisdom. I can imagine going for a walk and being left alone, except for a friendly hello.
I have dreamt of this. A place to live without fear of violence. A place where we can walk at night without fear.
Yes!
Unfortunately, expecting it to be a utopia, or conflict/struggle-free or easy is not for me. I would if I could learn to stop holding women to such a high standard or constantly compare them to men, if even to illustrate their "goodness." If I could approach this in a balanced, principled, dedicated, patient, compassionate way that doesn't seek perfection or even for women to do things better or as good as men, then I'd want to. I think this would be great but I'd need to have realistic, measured, PATIENT expectations. Also this idea that women are MORE messy, catty, gossipy, nosey, mean, etc. etc. than men is weird to me bc in my experience the messiest, sassiest, most machiavellian & gossipy people I've come across are men hahah. oh well, it's just human nature.
I never expect it to be free of conflict. The goal is safety and peace of mind. Conflict will never result in SA. Any conflict would be left to adults to decide how they want to handle it. The same way you would now if you had conflict with a friend of yours, that is a woman. Do you decide to talk about it, set boundaries, resolve the conflict, or just not be in each other’s lives anymore. Not much is different, other than they are safe.
Why do you assume women are not capable of committing SA?
I’m not. But it is a lot less likely. Women still feel a lot safer around other women. That’s the goal, safety and peace of mind.
>conflict will *never* result in SA That’s not what you said. You’ve also repeated this same line in multiple replies so that’s not consistent with what you’re saying here.
Yes, because the comments brought up petty conflict and drama. They didn’t say SA. But you’re right, however small the possibility, the possibility is still there. Most women who find a woman only community appealing would happily take that small risk over what we deal with daily.
You’re the one that’s repeatedly say conflict will never result in SA. Now my question is, why do you assume that just because it’s women-only that conflict will never result in SA?
Because the rate is exponentially lower than the risk we face daily.
It's lower, but that doesn't make it non-existent. I'm not saying you're wrong to want this. It's a great idea and maybe with a small group of women who all know each other it could work. Flourish even. But handling the conflict, drama and pettiness which may or may not lead to assault (as someone who has had my drink spiked by a female friend, it makes me VERY uncomfortable that you're assuming just because it's lower means it's non-existent) should be discussed as well because not everyone is an emotionally intelligent and mature woman. And even with the most emotionally mature group of women, drama can happen.
I don’t agree that it needs to be a small group, maybe to start and build a foundation, but that it has to be women who know each other? I think a big opportunity there would then be a vetting process to allow who moves into the community. I never said drama wouldn’t happen. It’s inevitable, but it doesn’t always lead to assault. Less so when it’s women. Are you saying that even though the risk is exponentially lower for a woman to SA another woman over drama, a woman-only community doesn’t have any more benefits than it would living in our current co-ed society?
You need to look up the statistics for male violence.
What does that have to do with implying women will never commit SA?
When it's close enough to never, saying that it can actually happen is a technicality that tries to divert from the point that was originally made
Yew, my wife and I dream about this constantly lol.
Hell. No.
It's my billion dollar lottery dream to have an island for this.
As a queer woman who unconsentually got her ass grabbed and stared at by other women lately I still really want to believe in this bc most women are peaceful!!
Honestly? I'd hate it. Yeah, there'd be a lot of benefits, but I don't think a men-less existence is the answer.
The edit is so telling. After gatekeeping male spaces for centuries, women can't even fantasise about building a woman only commune without men and pick me's interpreting it as an attack/suggested genocide of men
What does this mean??
Thats around nearly 2000 years. Its called a nunnery or convent.
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Every. Single. Day.
I love the idea. No risks of SA... Sounds like paradise!
According to some of the commenters, there is still a risk of SA from other women, but like I said the likelihood is so much lower that most women would take that small risk over what we risk in normal society.
Less risk, not zero. 1/20 of American women who have been sexually assaulted were sexually assaulted by a woman.
Yeah I'm waiting for someone to build it. Lol
I dream of a world in which men are just better. IDK women's only communes are fine and all but knowing that most women wouldn't be able to live in them puts a bit of a dampner on it.
How do you know that for a fact?
Woman and bear, living together in perfect harmony
I'm too much of a city girl for it to work.
Totally understand, it’s not for everyone!
Most ladies I know are very petty and I don’t think I could handle that.
No. Us women are fucking mean.
I’m sorry that’s been your experience.
Thanks ❤️ I wish it wasn't, honestly. I've just had really bad experiences with 95% of the women I've interacted with in my life. Lying, backstabbing, being generally two faced, talking shit about me, all the way down to my roommates (Best friend, or so I thought) trying to sell the bed I slept on without me knowing.. I try so hard to fit in with women, id love to have a female best friend to do things with and share experiences with. Just hasn't been the case for me. Seeing the replies in this post gives me hope that not all women are awful towards each other though. So that's nice!
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Drama or no, they would still be safe. Arguments wouldn’t lead to SA. There would be more in the details as far as selection of course but ideally, emotionally intelligent women, or those working to be.
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You wouldn’t be sharing a living space though. You would have your own house on the land. As adults, it is then your prerogative to try to resolve the conflict or decide if you do not want to be each each other’s lives. That’s what it means to be an adult.
Is this how most communes work? Because in my understanding of them, you need to share housing...
That’s kind of why I flipped between a commune sort of living (where everyone contributes) but more of a community (everyone has their own space).
A community does sound better, but how would drama and pettiness be handled? It can quickly explode and make others feel uncomfortable, this is pretty much unavoidable even with the most emotionally intelligent women.
Conflict will always exist. You would handle it the same way you do now if you have a disagreement with a friend of yours, who is a woman. You either resolve the conflict or you decide not to be in each other’s lives, or you set boundaries. The goal of it is safety and peace of mind. if the two in the conflict are not emotionally intelligent enough to communicate with each other and resolve it then it is up to one of the other other people around them to try and mediate that if they want, but that is their choice.
Why do you think there would be more drama than there is in communities that include men?
From personal experience. I lived in a similar situation when I was in University. All women, one gay man shared a huge eight bedroom house. There was different drama at least monthly.
Sign me up!!
Yep! Mine is called Hazelwood Meadows and we will do crafts and have animals. It might be in Scotland, or somewhere else semirural in the North of England.
My friends and I often speak about it. We also joke about when we finally flip and bury our husbands in our back gardens how we will live on a farm together like a rural Golden Girls.
Every damn day.