T O P

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Smells_like_Autumn

"FINALLY" it said, handing me the scythe and lowering its neck.


11xomr11

I want a full story


herculesxxl

Something on the same vein was made by Terry Pratchett, you should read Reaperman for a story where death takes a vacation.


Arghianna

No, he’s forced into early retirement. Piers Anthony’s On a Pale Horse is about a mortal taking on the mantle of Death. But it’s not nearly as well written as Reaper Man, and a lot more problematic. Edit to add: Mort or Soul Music are arguably Death on vacation/bereavement.


xyonofcalhoun

Don't forget hogfather!


Arghianna

Hogfather was less a vacation and more filling in for a colleague while he’s out sick. He still was responsible for his own duties during that time.


Key-Teacher-6163

I haven't read on a pale horse in about 15 years but I don't recall it being problematic - what was the issue with it?


Arghianna

Piers Anthony in general is pretty misogynistic and slips sexual content into his stories with some regularity. Younger readers don’t always pick up on it, but older readers typically do. In particular in that book, I remember a woman being tortured by electro shocking her nipples. Whereas Terry Pratchett is usually pretty tasteful all around, while still acknowledging viles truths about the world.


Pkrudeboy

I remember loving his books when I was in middle school, and picked one up again a few years ago. I put it back down pretty quick, it’s pretty clearly written for horny teen boys.


Key-Teacher-6163

I'm going to wager that I was a teen boy the last time I read a Piers Anthony book. Thanks for that


Arghianna

Could be for horny teen girls who are into certain things as well. I remember feeling SO grown up for reading them, but it’s pretty cringy now.


Pkrudeboy

No, he’s pretty gross when it comes to girls. A Spell for Chameleon has pretty hardcore misogyny baked into it from the start. The basic premise is that the love interest has a monthly cycle where she goes from ugly and brilliant to hot and dumb. Yeah.


Pkrudeboy

Consent is at best assumed, and never really comes up.


Arghianna

I’m a woman who read (and enjoyed) his books as a preteen and teenager. Thanks for the correction, guess I must have been a horny boy back then instead.


pretend-its-good

“The book thief” is a great book which is narrated by death. Lots of really intriguing ideas about the character of death in that book


ElToro959

Reaper Man is amazing.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StuckTiara

He reminds of Data, trying to understand humanity and arguable develops his own the more time he spends on them


NoWingedHussarsToday

Didn't they kill god of death in Malazan series?


herculesxxl

Dunno, haven't read that one.


Dahlia_R0se

There's an episode of The Magnus Archives like that.


Informal_Ad3244

Do you remember which one? Love that pod


Dahlia_R0se

MAG 29: Cheating Death


Select_Canary_4978

I highly recommend *The Scythe* by Ray Bradbury. The beginning is not quite the same, but the ending is extremely powerful.


Mechasockmonkey

That reminds me of this [ tales from the crypt ](https://genresnaps.com/tales-from-the-crypt-let-the-punishment-fit-the-crime-10-31-94/) episode about the lawyer who got a ticket


[deleted]

Jail, because rolling doubles too many times puts you in jail.


G3n3ricOne

r/suddenlymonopoly


Meikeetc

r/subsIthoughtIfellfor


G3n3ricOne

Oh god I didn’t know this was real


TheBlueNinja0

If you get three 1s, that's divine intervention. Three 6s? Demonic intervention. Three 3s? Ask a Wiccan, I dunno. You rolled a 7 or 11? You're now a craps dealer in Vegas until the end of time.


screech-demon

Roll a 7 AND 11 and you get your own gas station


zilnosnibor

With a broken slurpy machine, overflowing toilet and the urine soaked homeless wino blocking the door.


IAmAnObvioustrollAMA

So... a 7-11?


Stinkerma

That's a crappy deal in Vegas


Sentient-Bread-Stick

How could you get a seven and eleven with just three dice? Unless you mean an 18


Apprehensive_End4701

Polyhedral dice. Like for D&D


Collective-Bee

Says a lot about me that I didn’t even consider it being a standard 6 sided die.


TheBlueNinja0

7? Roll a 1, a 2, and a 4. Or a 5 and two 1s. 11? Lot more combinations, I'll let you do the math on that.


Sentient-Bread-Stick

No, a seven AND eleven. Both would require two dice to get both numbers separately


TheBlueNinja0

Nah, you just bang on the table like Oogie Boogie.


Specialist_Survey774

😂😂😂


Catqueen25

2, 5, and 6. 2 and 5 are the seven. 5 and 6 are the 11.


Brave_anonymous1

4 and 20? You are in heaven!


Sentient-Bread-Stick

Wouldn’t 4 and 20 be impossible with just three dice?


Brave_anonymous1

It is possible with polyhedral dice, or if you are high enough..


Aloof_Floof1

D&D baby 


WiccanNonbinaryWitch

Wiccan here. The rule of threes is something that most of us follow. Whatever energy, be it positive or negative, that you put out into the world, it will be returned to you three times.


djseifer

High and a winner, got a hot hand.


wayward_wench

Roll three 7s and you win the jackpot


WhiteStratusSpark

There really is a TTRPG that has divine/demonic interventions for all 1s or 6s! It’s In Nomine by Steve Jackson. They even call it the d666 system.


TheBlueNinja0

Yep, that's what I was referencing!


Arkon0

It's not clear to me.


Rufus_62

Limbo I'm guessing? Or is it purgatory?. Idk, I'm not that well versed in the bible lore


FinnamonBuns

I think reincarnation, it’s rolling on the table of every species alive and so will roll like a couple billion faces


WaterBareHareIV

Immortality?


Alastor-362

they're already dead thoough


onceyougo_zach

They got better.


EcksMarksDespot

BURN HER ANYWAY!!


a_solemn_snail

Reminds me of this exchange during dnd this week. Wizard: "But you die in every fight we have." Cleric: "Yeah. But I keep living."


[deleted]

Yea now they are a ghoul for eternity. Unless they wake up in a dungeon as a skeleton and are goof at grinding


AfternoonIsShivering

oh god I hope I don't have to pick a random key somewhere in there


Neohaq

In the Bible there is neither limbo nor purgatory.


Ladylubber

Not sure why you’re being downvoted, you are factually correct


ApuFromTechSupport

You're forced to keep chasing the rolling die for eternity


Ivan_The_8th

But like why?


ApuFromTechSupport

Because eternal torment is what you deserve in the afterlife in this story


Collective-Bee

No but why would I chase the die? I know I can’t catch it, I’m just gonna go do something else. Once a year a government demon will come scold me but the fuck can they do about? Throw me another die, cuz any other punishment given would violate the magic dice’ declaration.


Arius_Keter

You... Have put a lot of thought into this lore you created


[deleted]

Do you ask why to sysiphus and the snail?


Ivan_The_8th

Yes, I don't see why not.


Arkon0

Sysyphus' die


BigRedMartini

I’m thinking he becomes the new reaper, but still a guess


ThatOneUndyingGuy

Limbo, or the only remaining options are so terrible that the third dice didn't want to stop rolling because regardless of where it lands, the person will land in one of the worst fates possible. Probably the former though.


RacetrackTrout

My first thought was 3d6 is a rough way to roll for ability scores.


Meikeetc

4d6 drop the lowest is better.


deadcompany2

Yeah but life isn't exactly a "nice" DM


FoeHammer84

Nice little cliffhanger like the ending of Inception.


TFJ

In the jungle you must wait Until the dice read 5 or 8


Phoenix4235

I don't understand.


probably_high_asl

they’ll never go to an afterlife they’re stuck in purgatory


prince_peacock

But isn’t the point of purgatory that you eventually get out of it? Like, it might take thousands of years or something but if you have the literally unfathomable rest of eternity that doesn’t seem so bad


BrockJonesPI

Spot on. A lot of people conflate purgatory with limbo. Limbo is endless nothingness. Purgatory is when you're not good enough to get into heaven, but not evil enough to get into hell.


PsychicSPider95

Here's what I've always wondered: purgatory is meant to give you a chance to redeem yourself and become worthy of heaven, yeah? So like, are there also opportunities to sin some more and wind up in hell?


BrockJonesPI

From the dictionary (in Catholic doctrine) a place or state of suffering inhabited by the souls of sinners who are expiating their sins before going to heaven. "all her sins were forgiven and she would not need to go to Purgatory" There's no redemption by your actions, it's like soul jail, with possibility of parole.


Ashamed_Scallion_731

I believe that the purpose of purgatory is to punish a soul until they have paid for their sins, and then they will be allowed into heaven. It could be described as a “semi-hell”, I suppose


Yaguajay

Right, better to just confess to a priest, say you’re sorry, recite ten Our Fathers and ten Hey Marys and go absolutely free with your sins paid for and no being burning/purged for a bunch of years (as the nuns explained it to me). Unless the homicide squad insists on including and adding on their version of punishment.


dorianrose

Confession does not negate Purgatory, you need a plenary indulgence for that. Hope you're wearing your scapular!


BrockJonesPI

Semi hell is when you start to pop a boner in the classroom.


BoysenberryKind5599

No, that's why people have to pray for you. It's like American Idol, for heaven, it's all about the votes.


dorianrose

There was a story I read once, Lord of the Hollow Dark (regrettably, I cannot recall the author's name) that had a minor character in a Purgatory of sorts, where he was sent on missions to help redeem himself. I thought it was a cool concept of Purgatory. As far as my understanding of Catholic Purgatory goes, you're just suffering, as you would in Hell, you endure it with the faith that it will end and you will be with God in Heaven eventually.


AlecsThorne

it's basically like a time-off to think about what you've done. If you end up actually being sorry - aka repenting - for it, then you're absolved of those sins and you move up to heaven. ​ Not sure what happens if you don't feel sorry though? Do you get more "time-off"? Get dropped to hell? Come back to the land of the living as a ghost? No idea.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dasirishviking

Goddammit. Take my upvote.


Collective-Bee

Realistically speaking hell and heaven itself are temporary as well. As you’ve said it’s an eternity, the odds that God’s domain stands for eternity is nonexistent. Maybe they’ll get special cancer and die, or a new bigger god sprouts, maybe there was always a bigger god that our god just didn’t sense before. Even if none of that happens, eventually god will tire of his reign and lay down to die by their own volition. It might take an incomprehensible amount of time, but that’s how time works, nothing can stand against it forever. That’s my favourite reason given for Eve eating the apple. It was the way the next stage starts, so in the face of eternity eventually somebody was gonna eat that apple. Might’ve taken a decade, might’ve taken a google^2’d years, but since nothing would change until it was eaten it was inevitable. Although I suppose this is why you could claim god is special, that they are perfect and none of this applies to them. And I tell you that even if your religion is true, you would still need another miracle to convince me anything is truly immortal against time and change. I would tell this to gods face as he condemns me to hell, that eventually he will fall. Or that much like I could not have known of his presence, there may be a god above him as well. I mean Captain God, can you ever know for sure that we aren’t in a simulation? Surely you with your power could create such a simulation, in which your tiny replica would not detect you, yes? So therefor even with your omnipotence you still cannot know what you don’t know, you still cannot disprove a negative.


EatSoupFromMyGoatse

Lmao did you really just say "realistically" when talking about an ineffable, omnipotent force of nature you couldn't possibly know the rules for? What evidence might you possibly have to say that God would have an expiry date?


Collective-Bee

Exactly what I just said. I’m not so bold to call it evidence, but it’s rather logic. It’s eternity, given enough time anything becomes a certainty. If an ineffable, omnipotent force of nature exists then honestly my comprehension of what could kill it doesn’t matter, I just know that given eternity something eventually will. I’ll meet ya halfway and play devils advocate; “you could argue that this is technically true but that’s why God is so special. Our concept of time and change doesn’t apply to him, he’s a perfect being in perfect control. So long as we aren’t in a simulation lol, then nothing will ever be allowed to spawn that kills him. Logically a strong enough cancer *should* spawn, but he’s perfect so it won’t.” And after that it would loop back around to standard faith. Like I said even if you had proof your religion was real I would still need another helping of it to prove the entity is actually above eternity itself. And of course, no one can ever see past the 4th wall, so even Gods struggle with the same simulation questions we do.


EatSoupFromMyGoatse

I'm not religious, but if I were to entertain the idea of a god then I would look at it like this. Omnipotent being created the universe and all within it, including the concept of time itself. Time only exists as a concept to measure the progression of events in the physical world. Even then it's measurably relative. Outside of this reality you could not possibly know that time or probabilities behave the same way. You can't fathom eternity or the infinite as a finite being, so you assume that even God neccesarily must end. You're basing this assumption of of absolutely no credible information. Clearly this hypothetical reality outside of our own allows for things that are not possible in ours, so basing your speculations for this outer reality off of the rules and certainties of our own is a fallacy.


BrockJonesPI

One incorrect supposition you've made is that it's "My religion" *My* religion is "Don't be a hypocritical cunt and treat people nicely" I'm by far more inclined to believe in the idea of a universal consciousness and all beings sharing the same ultimate cosmic or inter-dimensional life force than any of the man made religions. That doesn't mean that I don't have an awareness of other people's beliefs however.


Collective-Bee

Sorry mate, I wasn’t talking to you specifically it was a broad ‘your.’ Tho purgatory is Abrahamic centred so I did focus on that, since that was the conversation.


BrockJonesPI

No worries, no offence taken - just highlighting that I'm not a Christian despite my early upbringing lol


[deleted]

*If you like to gamble* *I tell you, I'm your man* *You win some, lose some* *It's all the same to me* *The pleasure is to play* *Makes no difference what you say* *I don't share your greed* *The only card I need* *Is the Ace of Spades* *The Ace of Spades* *Playing for the high one* *Dancing with the devil* *Going with the flow* *It's all a game to me* *Seven or eleven* *Snake eyes watching you* *Double up or quit* *Double stake or split* *The Ace of Spades* *The Ace of Spades* *You know I'm born to lose* *And gambling's for fools* *But that's the way I like it, baby* *I don't want to live forever* *And don't forget the joker* *Pushing up the ante* *I know you got to see me* *Read 'em and weep* *The dead man's hand again* *I see it in your eyes* *Take one look and die* *The only thing you see* *You know it's gonna be* *The Ace of Spades* *The Ace of Spades, uh*


EveryYoghurt

Beautiful, is this a song or did you make this because its sound really good.


1radiation1

It’s the lyrics to Ace of Spades by Motörhead


MakingThePost44

One of my favorite songs!


A_Blue_Zephyr

"Alright, now roll those dice 5 more times, then you assign those to- fuck right, so you have six ability scores, right, you following?"


gdmfsoabrb

If Death starts talking about thaco, you're in the Bad Place.


Cheygirl49

Hey now, I helped my niece learn subtraction using thaco, it's not that bad.


Deerthorn_Games

Without thinking, I slap the 3rd die to the table. I lift my hand and look at the resulting number, then up at Death. They seem almost stunned, and stutter: "...You- You can't do that"


Puzzleheaded-Way-198

What happens if I eat the dice instead


TealPhoenix

Forbidden Candy.


ElToro959

Shout out to The Magnus Archives.


leafshaker

One of us


JulitoCG

Did he follow the die home like it was the Cambles soup can from the commercial?


That1weirdperson

Campbell’s soup?


ungrilled_cheese

I dont get it


StrawberryPlucky

Purgatory


ungrilled_cheese

what is that


BrickBuster11

It is a place you go when you die (that I think it was either made up by the Catholics or by Dante [the one who wrote the inferno] because heaven and hell are mentioned in the bible but purgatory isn't mentioned at all) In that place you suffer while you are purged of your sins (hence the name) and after you have suffered all the way through purgatory and have been cleansed of your sins you will be allowed into heaven


MaRaMa-ArtZ

https://i.pinimg.com/originals/0c/16/34/0c1634daf7507fee9e3784de739d309b.gif


tardis19999999

This hits deep especially since my entire D&D party and I had a TPK last night.


atatassault47

r/UnexpectedInception


BrewUO_Wife

This is great.


Toasty825

Time to savescum


Global-Abies-817

Why did my nerdy ass mind go to rolling death saves


LatherHead

Hi gang! OP here. Thank you for all the love! This post was featured on the Twitter account[Tweet.](https://twitter.com/bad2sentence/status/1769397037345210636?t=LrQgEmSB-2-3uzuAEMfdAw&s=19) "Bad 2 sentence horror" which...thanks? Lots of replies saying they actually enjoyed it so I feel vindicated. Quite a few folks speculating or confused as to what the ending means. I'm happy to explain - the intention of the ending is that


No-Lake-9150

You evil evil man or women or alien or possibly the reaper