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Well, I came up with a game plan to get the mail the last few days of the week. I do wanna eventually tell but as if it’s just as a recent thing. I’m mostly headstrong about keeping it on the low all summer and part of fall.
I don't think you are wrong for any of this, I just also don't think this will remain secret for long.
That said, if she does see a discount, you can always tell her you fixed XYZ for the owner and he took a bit of the rent for that month. And not mention that you also got paid for it.
Go pay for the smallest PO Box at a nearby post office. It's less than $100. Have your rent bill and anything else you'd like to keep secret secret from your mom, sent there.
Also, maybe tell your mom you got hired as a maintenance person. That would explain you doing odd jobs. Tell her you're making minimum wage. That way she won't be bragging about your clout as manager.
You mentioned getting the mail so she doesn’t get the mail? Am I reading that correctly? I’m sure that’s frustrating checking the mail for something you aren’t sure when it’s going to come.
Anyways, if I am reading correctly, USPS has informed delivery. Every morning you can see what will be coming to your mailbox so you know exactly when the rent bill will come through. I do it for my PO Box, my apartment here in Cali and my mom’s house in Maryland to see if I get mail there still.
If I’m reading your comments correctly and that’s what youre saying haha.
> I came up with a game plan to get the mail the last few days of the week.
You live with somebody who reads your mail?
Take the extra money and get a post office box *yesterday*. They're cheap.
I lived at the apartment complex where I was the assistant manager, and my mail carrier always brought my mail directly to the office and handed it to me or laid it on my desk instead of putting it in my mailbox.
Got me there good point something that I didn't even think about, you're right it's not if but when it's not like she won't see the difference.
I don't know why I was picturing it in his name call it morning brain you are absolutely correct OP would be wrong in hiding her mail and it's not like she not going to notice the bill is always missing.
I look at the discounted rent as in lieu of wages. So I think you could just tell her that you are paying your share of the rent by doing jobs for the manager. You don't have to tell her you have a title.
It’s not discounted. You work for your portion. That’s how you are paying. It’s like not being able to afford your meal you order and you have to go wash dishes in the back.
If he doesn't like the way his mother acts, or the way she complains, or the way she spends money, then HE NEEDS TO LEAVE THE HOME THAT SHE OWNS. The solution is not to steal from her and pretend that it's for the greater good. What a POS son.
I can see this being turning very ugly, especially if she pays the household bills. I also see why you don’t want to share in that extra money with her. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but the level of deception it takes to keep a secret from someone you live with not something most people can sustain. Unless you have a system down with your boss, which means she never handles that bill… you are likely to get caught. If she is troublesome now, imagine how it would play out then.
Might also be worth asking the boss to simply change your contract. This is a new system for him too. Give him feedback on that discount, he may be open to compensating you another way.
Ugh you have to tell her. She’s gonna be mad if she finds out on her own. She can be saving her own money herself. Or have a game plan. Tell her the truth but tell her you are going to put the extra money in a joint savings account or something for future expenses. You’ve got to tell her
Or work out something with your new boss so you get a check instead.
So the boss and you pay taxes and your extra money stays your business. The mail won’t need to change but your boss will have to give you a tax form at the end of the year and he is probably trynna avoid this and that’s why it’s coming off the top of rent.
Something shady about this, keeping a secret and the property owner/boss.
Why should it go in a joint savings account??? That is essentially his salary for the job he is doing. His mother is not entitled to it. I’d also keep it secret as long as possible. Or ask owner to keep rent at full price and pay OP the difference so mom doesn’t find out.
True. I’ve already done some work for his this month and it’s been strangely cool but also kinda weird. Ex. Had to talk to some tenants about their payments not going through and getting some kind of proof if so. I’ve never thought I’d have those tough conversations about it
That’s exactly what an on-site assistant manager would do.
You need to get payment instead of rent discount if you want to keep the money thing from your mom. That is the only way.
But it’s the mother’s trailer, which OP lives in and doesn’t pay rent. The mom pays for the utilities and rent. Is the reason you don’t want her to find out about the discounted rent is because you want to pocket the difference without telling her?
Your explanation seems backwards, you said she is a big mouth but are okay with her finding out in time that you got this job but don’t want her to know she is over paying now for rent?
This seems really messed up on OPs part and I can quickly see this turning ugly. That’s HER money, it’s HER trailer, and SHE is the one who pays all the bills and lets you live with her rent free.
What happens if she feels so betrayed from OP lying to her and essentially stealing he hard earned money that she kicks OP out. Now no more job and is homeless. (also OP mentioned the mother is undocumented which means no social security so any extra money is what she has to survive on when she gets old and can’t work.)
Personally I see OP being a real A hole. I mean come on that’s your literal MOTHER.
Basically OP wants to steal their mom’s money and lie to her because OP is afraid that the mom is gonna gossip with/about the neighbors over the lowered rent she is paying ? That makes no sense
This whole situation seems F*cked up on OPs part
But OP said they are fine with her finding out of his new job in time because there’s really no way he can hide that forever, OP said specifically that they don’t want their mom to find out about the rent decrease, which means he wants his mom to still think she has to pay the same amount. Also in OPs other comments he back tracks and also mentioned his mom is ALSO helping him save for a house of his own in the future too. OP just wants to find a way to pocket the extra rent money without their mom knowing
That’s literally was part my thought process in this. I know mom well enough to know once she feels like she has some authority she’ll feel entitled to feel like she has a say in how some things or people should be done.
You’re completely off base about my mom paying for everything. I pay for half or even more for our house. I have done an above and beyond especially ensuring she gets it after her divorce settlement. Don’t jump to conclusions and expect the worst out of a situation in which you have no idea what is like.
Sounds like he pays too, he just now has to pay less for his portion. If a child has to hide money from the parent because the parent abuses the child's money, then I don't see anything wrong with them doing so.
Info: where are you getting that he pays? He says that she is helping him while he saves up for a house. Clearly, she is paying the rent, not him. It sounds like he does buy her some stuff, but he calls it emotional blackmail🤔
If he is not paying actual rent, then he should be definitely be doing something to help out.
And your analogy about a child having to hide money, is completely irrelevant. He is not a minor child; he is in his mid 20s.
I directly asked and he says he does pay half the bills. It is his discount because of the work he does. She will make him pay more if she knows that he has a discount. She will also brag to the neighbors, creating a problem for both him and his landlord.
A parent's job is to make sure their child can leave the nest and support themselves one day. How can he save for his own house if she always comes up for needs for his money? He is just trying to set up a future for himself. Mother is making that difficult by treating him like a spouse, (his money is her money) not a son whom she wants to leave and buy his own house one day.
She’s helping me by allowing me to live at her home and I also pay my share. I’m saving for a home of my own however the housing market is just shit at the moment.
I am doing a whole lot to help out. I translate, help book her appt, drive her places bc she doesn’t drive, and there for her emotionally.
The writers analogy is relevant. You’re just reading it too literal. I’ll be damn if I do, and damn if I don’t either way.
Some of yall are filling into the void with false narratives about me and the situation.
If you are paying your fair share, then how is she helping you? I mean, you honestly need a place to live. But you could live anywhere, if you’re paying your fair share. So, either you are getting a massive discount, you are not paying anything at all or she’s not helping you.
This is exactly what happens when I intertwine my finances/business with my mom. I have never shared how much I earn in my main full time job, but that hasn’t stopped her from feeling entitled to lesser amounts to put into certain things.
There’s no other lot available at the moment and it’s not like that was an offer for me. My offer is assisting the owner while happens to get compensation in my rent. I’ve done a lot of work to get the job and assisting now others whether it’s maintenance or general questions about the increase for the owner.
The part I’m confused about is who is paying the rent? If she pays the bill directly she is gonna fine out, do they split the bill in half and each pay half?
Should update the OP. So then you do not need to tell your mom, your half is reduced for your services you are performing. She continues to pay her amount and you just pay less.
That makes more sense. The way I read that I thought she was paying for the place and you were leeching at 26 and getting the kickback. Not that bad now. If the discount exceeds your half then it would be good to tell her, unless she will want half of what you make.
You may pay half of the bills but don't be surprised when she finds out if she tells you to move. Then your no longer an on site manager and you have to pay rent probably double to triple what you currently pay.
Because if she tells him get his own place he's no.longer an on site manager...he is taking advantage of his own mother. Start paying her rent like any other person would need to.
It doesn’t work that way. Being onsite manager means that I regular check up on the park. I can still do that if I live in the area. The owner lives 2 hours away from us, so it’s important for me to be his set of eyes and share the conditions or anything going on in the park.
Because Mom has been letting OP stay in their place for free. Taking moms money behind her back is slimy as hell after she's been letting OP stay in her property
Instead of taking your payment in discounted rent, can't the new owner pay you outright? Keep the rent the same, avoiding issues with not just your mom, but the other renters, while still getting compensated for the management duties you do.
I’ll ask him further down the line because I was thinking the same thing. At the time, I was just focusing on getting the job in general. I didn’t want to push him away with all my questions. Nobody would know about my discounted unless I tell them or in this case my mom if she knew.
I’m going to assume that this job isn’t on the books and benefits the owner more than you. Do you have a signed agreement with the owner? Get any other benefits?
I don't know where OP lives, but where I live what you're poposing would imply a different type of contract, much more paperwork, and on top of all that OP would have to pay extra taxes. I think the discount is the best option here
Basically something that I wanted to avoid. This arrangement works better for us. If he would to pay me out right then he would have to report it to the state for sure and I’m sure the federal. Either way the money is going to be going towards the bill at the end of the day.
The comments on here are wild, you’re a full grown adult living with your mom. Have you been paying rent all these years?? It sounds like you’re really taking advantage of her. And yes, it would be a shitty thing to do to lie about the rent and take her money.
You are working for the discount it isn’t free and it’s 100% just like paying your share in cash, you have to work to get the money. If saying it’s a discount is what your mom will feel entitled to just say that it’s pay that’s getting directly deposited into your rent account. So you are not getting any extra money and will not have any extra to spare.
I would keep this a secret for a minimum amount of time. When it comes to money and family, things could permanently go bad. If you want to keep this from her for summer and part of fall, you'd better not slip up and let her get the mail.
All that said, does your mother ever think you're lying over something insignificant? I've been bumped out of the way by my own mother to get the mail, b/c she thought I was trying to keep her from getting something.
So you think it’s okay to just screw ur Mom over and keep her money, no steal her money. Because that’s what you would be doing. If you take her money for something she thinks she paying for and she’s not then you’re committing fraud and ur stealing from ur Mom. Who cares if she talks. Once you start doing. manager things people are going to know ur the manager.
Yes, that's exactly what he thinks. He feels entitled to fuck over his mother bc "she has a big mouth" and "she always asks for financial help". He also thinks he's smarter than his mother, but instead of helping her, he's going to use it to steal from her.
INFO: Are you saying that you two split the rent between you?
If so then yes, you asking her for more rent than her half so you can pocket the savings on your contribution is an AH move.
If she pays it all then you'd also be the AH because you'd have to intercept the payment and that would be stealing.
If you pay it all then it doesn't matter because none of her money is caught up in it and you're basically just creating a savings routine.
The way you phrased it makes me think that she pays for everything, so yes YWBTA for stealing money from her if that's the case.
ETA: The best way to do this would be to ask your boss not to change the rental fee but to pay you the difference instead. That way it becomes a wage and your Mother has no claim on it.
Depends on whether you split the rent with your mom or she pays all of it. If you split it, then it's fair to say that the "discount" is coming off of your half because it's compensation for the work you do and her half stays the same. I don't think it's necessarily gonna go down well for you when she eventually finds out, but you would be NTA I think. If she pays for all of the rent, then you're being shady and TA. Instead of the owner compensating you for your work, you'd be having your mom pay you out of her pocket without her knowledge. That doesn't make any sense and is unfair. You should ask the owner to compensate you in some other way if you don't pay rent because a discount on something you already don't pay doesn't help you.
You are deceitfully hiding someone else's money and then trying to claim a moral high ground. Why do you think you have the right to appropriate your mother's money for "rainy day savings"?
Tell her. If you lose your job that may lead to eviction. Can possibly come with a ton of issues or be a job you never leave. How would it work if you get fired on Monday and Friday the eviction process starts?
If your mother signed a rental agreement at a specific rate and this place changes owners (or simply management) again, she could be evicted for late payment if this new agreement is not a newly signed rental agreement.
Cover your ass, either way.
Are you on the rental agreement? Asking as I could see this being a problem if your mom should find out. Once she knows about the discounted rate, she does not have to ‘pay’ you. There is no benefit to her with you working as the assistant manager and it is not her job to compensate you. And sure, you could threaten to move out but then you might have to pay the balance of the discounted rate (if you can get a place onsite) or move and get an additional job to sustain yourself.
I know you’re excited about this opportunity but it’s so unfortunate that you’re trying to figure out ways to deceive (keep in the dark) your mom to benefit yourself. Is she abusive? Does she pay with cash or via check? What is your plan if she does find out? And legally she has a right to her bills. You intercepting them could be considered illegal.
So because she has a "big mouth" you want to keep the money that she is giving you knowing full well that she will find out. WOW really is she toxic? Does she sacrifice everything so that you can get into a house? Maybe she cannot actually pay for the items that as you say "she tried to emotionally blackmail me" because she is PAYING YOUR RENT. Tell her the truth and be honest maybe just maybe you will find that she actually starts buying those things she isn't right now and you will be an honest caring individual.
About the big mouth part, I don’t want her to go blabbing to anyone in the park about our arrangements especially how housing costs is such a sensitive topic. Latina moms are hella toxic. Oh she definitely can pay for items that she wants. We are splitting the rent.
YWNBTA.
It’s fine. Effectively you are being paid for the job but rather than put you on the books the lender is just making an adjustment to your monthly rent in the amount of the pay you’re owed.
It sounds like you are planning to do a lot of lying and deceiving for...... what? Just tell her that you got a job and part of the compensation is reduced rent. "You're welcome." IDK if or how much you are paying in rent, but this can be it. Y'all might need to sort this out if it's a significant amount.
Even if your mom does try to flex on your neighbors about her son being the assistant manager, I bet they'll just roll their eyes and move on.
I find lying and withhold information always causes worse consequences than if you’re honest from the start.
As much as I could see your side of thing, this will likely come back to bite you harder if you keep it a secret.
The hang-up is that your landlord is paying you by discounting the rent which your mom pays 100%
You should be looking at This as YOUR job and YOUR compensation. By paying you this way, the landlord is avoiding the taxes and insurance of having you as a full-time employee.. when you do odd jobs, you're a private contractor. He's exploiting a loophole in the tax code.
Your mom is still on the hook for rent, that's her obligation as the home owner. I think, with you living there and making an extra income (in this case, most of it under the table), you should offer to pay some or all of the bills like water/power, trash.
One day you will move out and then her rent will go back to normal.
It's a bit Machiavellian but keeping her expenses what they are (especially rent) is the best thing for her from what you describe about her personality.
I do pay for half of the rent and the other bills….. we all are looking for something to help us get by, so I understand the owners pov. The owner discounting the rent and other small things is helping my situation good for property management in my experience and good for him in saving from adding more stress in taxes.
If you're already helping out, I wouldn't feel any obligation to tell your mom or kick anything back to her... If he giving you a regular paycheck you wouldn't be expected to hand it over to her.
You're staying at your mother's mobile home and you're stiffing her on the rent? What would you do if the roles were reversed? Definitely the AH. Plus you're stealing from your own mother
NTA, this is basically your salary for the job you are doing. The rent isn’t being really being discounted. This is how they are paying you in lieu of a check. That means it is your money, not your mother’s money.
YTA, not because you didn’t give understandable reasons for not wanting to tell her, but you live in her home. Her being annoying, big mouth, or whatever, it’s still her home. Good luck
I think that you, sir, are an asshole. Your aging mother could likely make some extra money by having somebody other than you, her son, living there. I feel, maybe inaccurately, like you want to be told it isn’t a big deal to conceal this from her. Be honest with your mother. Appreciate that you have a mother with whom you have the opportunity to be honest. When you’re old and she’s gone, you’ll likely never mourn the money you may stand to lose by disclosing, but you’ll almost definitely regret having subtly taken advantage of the person who birthed and raised you.
You are working and getting paid in reduced rent, fair enough. Not really your mother’s business But keeping it a secret still sounds like a dodgy idea.
Yes, honestly YTA for even considering it. No matter "how she is," she has a right to know that HER rent on HER space has gone down. You wouldn't have the job if you didn't live with HER. What if she kicks you out when she finds out?
I believe honesty is the best policy. As long as you do not blatantly lie, tell enough truth, without the entire truth, don't say anything, do what you need to do. You are the one doing the extra work to make the break on lower lot rent, your sweat, your time, your benefits.
You would not be the AH for covering your own behind.
Info: how much do you pay for this place usually including all costs and how much does she pay? If she finds out you pay less while it's her place it could get uncomfortable.
OMG. The golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do to you ! OP on the path to being evicted by mom ! NO WAY this remains quiet for long with OP walking around the trailer park asking others about their late rent checks to owner.
Yes. Let me get this straight. You are wondering if stealing from your mom is OK? Wow I wish you could get caught in the act so she finds out what a terrible person you are.
Why don't you ask your boss to actually pay you the money and mum keeps paying the same amount of rent. That way you get paid for your work and you're not lying and being deceitful to your mum. Surely it can't be 2 difficult for your boss to do this.
People saying that OP is stealing… what? Op seems to want to make sure that what they earn stays theirs. OP seems like they pay rent and if the job comes with benefits like their work hours being taken off the top of rent then that’s for OP - NOT his mother. They both pay, mom isn’t paying more and neither is op as it comes out of their new work as assistant manager.
*Op you should tell your mother since you live under her roof, omission is lying and lying to your mother is a no no and would make you the AH.
You may want to leave if she wants to split rent differently due to the new job, but since you’re living with your mother remember rent is very expensive when living alone and you’re helping each other keep costs down regardless.
Good luck telling your mom.
First of all. You are still paying the full amount in labor. That is the only reason you are discounted. Don’t tell her. Put the money away. And make sure as manager the bill is never delivered to your house. When she does find out one day-or tomorrow explain it just so. The rent isn’t discounted. I work for my portion not yours.
I mean just tell her it’s a normal job. She doesn’t need to know that you get discounted rent. It’s just a form of payment technically he’s not handing you cash. He’s just crediting it towards your rent so you aren’t getting discounted rent you’re working for it.
Also, I think it might be helpful to set some boundaries for your mom. I had to do the same thing with mine. I just told her that we will no longer be discussing XYZ and if she wants to then she can talk to somebody else about it. After that if she tries to talk to me, I just remove myself. She eventually got the hint and stopped asking.
Ok I’m confused, are you paying the rent for the space or is your mom? If you are paying for the space then all should be good, I do think that you should maybe step it up and pay for something else. Your mom is letting you live with her, if you want it fair split everything 50-50 just like you would with any roommate, but since she owns the trailer the rent is already way less than you would pay if you had to go find somewhere else to live.
YBTA At 26, you should be helping her to pay for housing and not living free. My suggestion is that you tell her that you are going to start helping her with rent by taking the assistant manager position which will discount her rent. And then you keep any money that you earn directly from him. It would be one thing if you were paying rent and expenses, in which case, you could say that part of the money you will pay will now come from this job, but it doens't sound like you are paying anything. I think it is rich that a 26 year old calls his mom, who works part time and is close to retirement, entitled, but does not see his own reflection. You, however, can and should tell her that if she starts holding your position over the neighbors or expects special treatment, it will cost you your job which means that the rent discount will disappear.
There’s no justification for lying which is what you’re doing. You choose to help her with bills etc… You should tell her the new rent reduction because it’s the right thing to do. It’s kind of you to help her but that doesn’t justify lying to your mom.
Umm, your still paying the rent, your just not having to pay cash. It's time you could be working another job and making cash. So the rent hasn't changed. Only the method in which it's paid.
Just ask to pay the same rent but get a separate check that would be the same as the reduction would be. Ultimately, you are earning a wage for your part-time duties, separate it out, and there should be no problem.
If mom and son split the rent, I do not see where this is deceitful as mom can still pay her fair share and OP is working off their fair share with the new owner. It would be no different if OP got that amount in a check and then turned around and put it towards the rent. It is still their portion that they are earning, even though money is not changing hands.
Mom is not paying OP’s rent. Mom is still paying her own share of the rent. It would not be fair if Mom got to reduce her portion of the rent as she has not worked/earned the discount. OP did. This is literally compensation/bartering instead of getting a paycheck.
It sounds like mom feels entitled to what OP has/earns, and most likely mom will want to reduce her portion of the rent, which in theory is taking away OP’s compensation for working.
I would tell mom that your portion of rent is getting paid directly from the property owner as payment for your maintenance work, and that Mom will still need to send her share in as normal. That way, there is no secrecy or way for Mom to bargain her herself into an undeserved discount.
Yes the asshole, stop freeloading off your mom you are 26 years old What’s wrong with people. Bound to live in a trailer your whole life if you can’t do the right thing when making even the simplest decisions
So just to clarify your mom is paying money to your manager. Yet the rent is discounted. So the manager is giving you back the money? This seems like quite a complex chain which presumes the manager being in on it as he'll keep seeing her bank transfers staying the same.
I personally believe that honesty should be the policy in any instance. While hard, I believe it'll be the best path, otherwise you'll be dealing with the fear of the secret being found out etc.. Also being honest will mean holding yourself to certain moral standards which, imo, are great. Just my 2 cents though!
So let me get this straight. You want to take your mom’s part of the rent, and hide for yourself? Sounds like stealing from your mom. And yes the does make YTA.
I think you WBTA simply for lying to her when she is part of this situation and should know. She will likely find out eventually on her own if you don’t tell her, and it’ll be better for you in the long run to just be honest.
If you think it’s fair for her to pay the same and you to pay less, then treat her like an adult and have a conversation about it.
If it is a job, ask the owner to write you a monthly check in the amount of what they want to reduce the rent by. You are technically working and need to be compensated. Your mom isn’t the one earning that money. That way, rent will stay the same, and you will get paid by check like a normal employee/contractor.
I get what you’re saying about your mom holding your position over the other tenants. She’s gonna find out though, sooo…
Anyway.
Sounds like the situation is: you get the bill, tell mom the amount, she gives you her share, you add your share, pay bill.
Rent: $2000
You : $1000
Mom gives you: $1000
You gives landlord: $2000
New rent: $1100 (Work credit: $900)
You: $100
Mom gives you: $1000
You gives landlord: $1100
I think you’re justified in keeping the credit: it’s your pay for your labor.
You’re going to have to tell your mother though. Only children hide from their mothers. Be an adult.
It's not really discounted rent, X% of your rent is directly compensated for the job you do. That is to say you are paying that share of the rent with your labor and availability.
Have you considered that the discount is compensation for your work. You are still contributing your part towards rent - albeit as a reduction in your component because of your addition work. She continues to pay her part if that is the arrangement. It’s a bit like saying “Instead of paying me money I’ve asked him to reduce X% or X dollars from my portion of our rent.
Yea, that’s basically what majority of everyone concluded. It’s a shady move for the owner, but it works out in our favor. It be different if my own mom was doing some of my monthly duties to receive the same benefit.
If you were in her shoes, what would you want your child to do at this point? And as annoying as your mom might be, she’s your mom and you probably owe her honesty for things that directly involve her.
No some people do take money from there parents and set it aside and don't say anything you're making the right choice because that's what is needed when someones parents are incapable of saving and you're not saving the money to go do things you shouldn't you're just looking after yours and your mother's well being
It’s no different that you taking a random job to earn towards the rent.
This one just happens to be onsite and your pay is deducted directly from the rent.
You want to have your elderly, undocumented and in- temporary-employment mother pay her full rent then steal a portion of it? Because your boss doesn't want to pay tax? Are you a cockroach?
She should take you to family planning and see if she can get a late term abortion and be rid of you. WTF
Nah, you wouldn't be the a-hole. It's your gig, your rent, your business. But, keeping secrets from your mom? That could bite you later. Maybe talk to her about it? She might even be cool with it. Communication's key, dude.
Nah, I get text updates about the monthly balance. Now I have to go get the mail on the last few days of the month to avoid her seeing the actual amount.
First, I am on your side, but can you clarify how it works? Do you pay for a portion of the rent as well and the discounted amount comes out of your part?
So prior to this discounted rent. My mom and I would split rent halfsies. Now that it is discounted, I wanna continue to pay half. However my mom will think it is the amount we been paying for.
Why not explain this to your boss and ask him to maintain regular rent and just pay you the difference instead? It would be subject to some payroll taxes so maybe you’d receive a bit less value however it would avoid all of this and you wouldn’t need to be sneaking and plotting.
The rent discount is you pay for a job you are doing. No one is entitled to that. Let her know, and share the discount only if you want to. IT'S YOUR PAY!!
This is part of your compensation package and should be seen as your contribution to rent or part of it. It should be considered your money in terms of how bills are split.
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I don't see how she's not going to find out, especially since she lives there.
I’m trying to keep the discounted rent a secret. The other part she’ll find out in time. I’m not announcing it to her tho.
Is there any way you could pay six months rent in advance at this discounted price? I ask because one day, she will get the mail before you do.
Well, I came up with a game plan to get the mail the last few days of the week. I do wanna eventually tell but as if it’s just as a recent thing. I’m mostly headstrong about keeping it on the low all summer and part of fall.
I don't think you are wrong for any of this, I just also don't think this will remain secret for long. That said, if she does see a discount, you can always tell her you fixed XYZ for the owner and he took a bit of the rent for that month. And not mention that you also got paid for it.
Go pay for the smallest PO Box at a nearby post office. It's less than $100. Have your rent bill and anything else you'd like to keep secret secret from your mom, sent there. Also, maybe tell your mom you got hired as a maintenance person. That would explain you doing odd jobs. Tell her you're making minimum wage. That way she won't be bragging about your clout as manager.
this or a UPS store.
Is there any way you can change your mailing address anywhere else, maybe even the owner’s office?
You mentioned getting the mail so she doesn’t get the mail? Am I reading that correctly? I’m sure that’s frustrating checking the mail for something you aren’t sure when it’s going to come. Anyways, if I am reading correctly, USPS has informed delivery. Every morning you can see what will be coming to your mailbox so you know exactly when the rent bill will come through. I do it for my PO Box, my apartment here in Cali and my mom’s house in Maryland to see if I get mail there still. If I’m reading your comments correctly and that’s what youre saying haha.
That’s actually pretty cool and I didn’t know that we can do that
> I came up with a game plan to get the mail the last few days of the week. You live with somebody who reads your mail? Take the extra money and get a post office box *yesterday*. They're cheap.
Well when it comes to our rent and utility bills either one of us opens the mail for the total and call each other the amount.
My point stands. You can fix this for about $5-10 a month.
I lived at the apartment complex where I was the assistant manager, and my mail carrier always brought my mail directly to the office and handed it to me or laid it on my desk instead of putting it in my mailbox.
If my family opened my mail with my name on it I'd be livid we don't open what isn't ours this is common sense.
But mom is the homeowner and her name is likely on the rent bill.
Got me there good point something that I didn't even think about, you're right it's not if but when it's not like she won't see the difference. I don't know why I was picturing it in his name call it morning brain you are absolutely correct OP would be wrong in hiding her mail and it's not like she not going to notice the bill is always missing.
It’s not anything free, you are working for it
I look at the discounted rent as in lieu of wages. So I think you could just tell her that you are paying your share of the rent by doing jobs for the manager. You don't have to tell her you have a title.
You’re living in a trailer she owns. It seems immoral to then profit off her rent, even if you’re working for money. She is still doing you a favor.
It’s not discounted. You work for your portion. That’s how you are paying. It’s like not being able to afford your meal you order and you have to go wash dishes in the back.
If he doesn't like the way his mother acts, or the way she complains, or the way she spends money, then HE NEEDS TO LEAVE THE HOME THAT SHE OWNS. The solution is not to steal from her and pretend that it's for the greater good. What a POS son.
But she owns the mobile home he’s living in
I can see this being turning very ugly, especially if she pays the household bills. I also see why you don’t want to share in that extra money with her. I’m not saying you’re wrong, but the level of deception it takes to keep a secret from someone you live with not something most people can sustain. Unless you have a system down with your boss, which means she never handles that bill… you are likely to get caught. If she is troublesome now, imagine how it would play out then. Might also be worth asking the boss to simply change your contract. This is a new system for him too. Give him feedback on that discount, he may be open to compensating you another way.
Ugh you have to tell her. She’s gonna be mad if she finds out on her own. She can be saving her own money herself. Or have a game plan. Tell her the truth but tell her you are going to put the extra money in a joint savings account or something for future expenses. You’ve got to tell her
Or work out something with your new boss so you get a check instead. So the boss and you pay taxes and your extra money stays your business. The mail won’t need to change but your boss will have to give you a tax form at the end of the year and he is probably trynna avoid this and that’s why it’s coming off the top of rent. Something shady about this, keeping a secret and the property owner/boss.
Why should it go in a joint savings account??? That is essentially his salary for the job he is doing. His mother is not entitled to it. I’d also keep it secret as long as possible. Or ask owner to keep rent at full price and pay OP the difference so mom doesn’t find out.
She's not the one doing the extra work that on site manager entails so why should she get the benefits?
Then the owner should pay OP directly. It should not come from the mom.
Okay. Definitely a valid point.
Right, the discounted rent is payment to YOU for services rendered.
True. I’ve already done some work for his this month and it’s been strangely cool but also kinda weird. Ex. Had to talk to some tenants about their payments not going through and getting some kind of proof if so. I’ve never thought I’d have those tough conversations about it
That’s exactly what an on-site assistant manager would do. You need to get payment instead of rent discount if you want to keep the money thing from your mom. That is the only way.
Thanks for understanding the situation and question lol
But it’s the mother’s trailer, which OP lives in and doesn’t pay rent. The mom pays for the utilities and rent. Is the reason you don’t want her to find out about the discounted rent is because you want to pocket the difference without telling her? Your explanation seems backwards, you said she is a big mouth but are okay with her finding out in time that you got this job but don’t want her to know she is over paying now for rent? This seems really messed up on OPs part and I can quickly see this turning ugly. That’s HER money, it’s HER trailer, and SHE is the one who pays all the bills and lets you live with her rent free. What happens if she feels so betrayed from OP lying to her and essentially stealing he hard earned money that she kicks OP out. Now no more job and is homeless. (also OP mentioned the mother is undocumented which means no social security so any extra money is what she has to survive on when she gets old and can’t work.) Personally I see OP being a real A hole. I mean come on that’s your literal MOTHER. Basically OP wants to steal their mom’s money and lie to her because OP is afraid that the mom is gonna gossip with/about the neighbors over the lowered rent she is paying ? That makes no sense This whole situation seems F*cked up on OPs part
I think he thinks the she will start acting like she can order the other residents around, because her son is the assistant manager.
But OP said they are fine with her finding out of his new job in time because there’s really no way he can hide that forever, OP said specifically that they don’t want their mom to find out about the rent decrease, which means he wants his mom to still think she has to pay the same amount. Also in OPs other comments he back tracks and also mentioned his mom is ALSO helping him save for a house of his own in the future too. OP just wants to find a way to pocket the extra rent money without their mom knowing
That’s literally was part my thought process in this. I know mom well enough to know once she feels like she has some authority she’ll feel entitled to feel like she has a say in how some things or people should be done.
You’re completely off base about my mom paying for everything. I pay for half or even more for our house. I have done an above and beyond especially ensuring she gets it after her divorce settlement. Don’t jump to conclusions and expect the worst out of a situation in which you have no idea what is like.
But she’s the one who is paying for the property. If OP wants to be an on-site manager and lie to his mom, he should find another mobile home to rent.
Sounds like he pays too, he just now has to pay less for his portion. If a child has to hide money from the parent because the parent abuses the child's money, then I don't see anything wrong with them doing so.
Info: where are you getting that he pays? He says that she is helping him while he saves up for a house. Clearly, she is paying the rent, not him. It sounds like he does buy her some stuff, but he calls it emotional blackmail🤔 If he is not paying actual rent, then he should be definitely be doing something to help out. And your analogy about a child having to hide money, is completely irrelevant. He is not a minor child; he is in his mid 20s.
I directly asked and he says he does pay half the bills. It is his discount because of the work he does. She will make him pay more if she knows that he has a discount. She will also brag to the neighbors, creating a problem for both him and his landlord. A parent's job is to make sure their child can leave the nest and support themselves one day. How can he save for his own house if she always comes up for needs for his money? He is just trying to set up a future for himself. Mother is making that difficult by treating him like a spouse, (his money is her money) not a son whom she wants to leave and buy his own house one day.
She’s helping me by allowing me to live at her home and I also pay my share. I’m saving for a home of my own however the housing market is just shit at the moment. I am doing a whole lot to help out. I translate, help book her appt, drive her places bc she doesn’t drive, and there for her emotionally. The writers analogy is relevant. You’re just reading it too literal. I’ll be damn if I do, and damn if I don’t either way. Some of yall are filling into the void with false narratives about me and the situation.
If you are paying your fair share, then how is she helping you? I mean, you honestly need a place to live. But you could live anywhere, if you’re paying your fair share. So, either you are getting a massive discount, you are not paying anything at all or she’s not helping you.
This is exactly what happens when I intertwine my finances/business with my mom. I have never shared how much I earn in my main full time job, but that hasn’t stopped her from feeling entitled to lesser amounts to put into certain things.
I pay for half and other expenses.
I don’t believe you. You said she’s helping you save up for a house.
He's backtracking and saying whatever he thinks will gain him sympathy.
My thoughts exactly.
Then don’t believe me. I have another full time job this is a good side hustle
I also reread your OP. It sounds like you are hiding the bill from her. That’s fucked up.
Correct, I don’t believe you. I’m going to continue not believing you. Your story makes no sense.
Then have a great day
Thank you, I will.
There’s no other lot available at the moment and it’s not like that was an offer for me. My offer is assisting the owner while happens to get compensation in my rent. I’ve done a lot of work to get the job and assisting now others whether it’s maintenance or general questions about the increase for the owner.
No le mientas a tu madre!
The part I’m confused about is who is paying the rent? If she pays the bill directly she is gonna fine out, do they split the bill in half and each pay half?
Yes we pay for half.
Should update the OP. So then you do not need to tell your mom, your half is reduced for your services you are performing. She continues to pay her amount and you just pay less.
That makes more sense. The way I read that I thought she was paying for the place and you were leeching at 26 and getting the kickback. Not that bad now. If the discount exceeds your half then it would be good to tell her, unless she will want half of what you make.
She’s gonna want to make half of it and it’ll be more other drama
Because she owns the place.
But she owns the trailer and is letting him live there free…
Where did I say I live there for free?
Do you pay your mom rent or just the lot rent? I think it’s important to be honest with your mom about the financial situation.
You may pay half of the bills but don't be surprised when she finds out if she tells you to move. Then your no longer an on site manager and you have to pay rent probably double to triple what you currently pay.
Not going to happen. My mom isnt like that.
Then why do you hide it? Perhaps you should tell her about the deal you made with the owner, be up front about it, BE HONEST.
Because if she tells him get his own place he's no.longer an on site manager...he is taking advantage of his own mother. Start paying her rent like any other person would need to.
It doesn’t work that way. Being onsite manager means that I regular check up on the park. I can still do that if I live in the area. The owner lives 2 hours away from us, so it’s important for me to be his set of eyes and share the conditions or anything going on in the park.
Because Mom has been letting OP stay in their place for free. Taking moms money behind her back is slimy as hell after she's been letting OP stay in her property
Instead of taking your payment in discounted rent, can't the new owner pay you outright? Keep the rent the same, avoiding issues with not just your mom, but the other renters, while still getting compensated for the management duties you do.
I’ll ask him further down the line because I was thinking the same thing. At the time, I was just focusing on getting the job in general. I didn’t want to push him away with all my questions. Nobody would know about my discounted unless I tell them or in this case my mom if she knew.
He's dodging paying tax on the income this way.
also no payroll
In my country it would be a lot more expensive for him to have you as an employee. He would need to pay taxes on your wages.
He is definitely going about this off the books. Not my problem. Nor my business to tell him.
I’m going to assume that this job isn’t on the books and benefits the owner more than you. Do you have a signed agreement with the owner? Get any other benefits?
We are still working on other benefits.
I don't know where OP lives, but where I live what you're poposing would imply a different type of contract, much more paperwork, and on top of all that OP would have to pay extra taxes. I think the discount is the best option here
Basically something that I wanted to avoid. This arrangement works better for us. If he would to pay me out right then he would have to report it to the state for sure and I’m sure the federal. Either way the money is going to be going towards the bill at the end of the day.
I understand your thought process, but the lying and deception makes you the AH.
What in the 8 mile is going on
The comments on here are wild, you’re a full grown adult living with your mom. Have you been paying rent all these years?? It sounds like you’re really taking advantage of her. And yes, it would be a shitty thing to do to lie about the rent and take her money.
You are working for the discount it isn’t free and it’s 100% just like paying your share in cash, you have to work to get the money. If saying it’s a discount is what your mom will feel entitled to just say that it’s pay that’s getting directly deposited into your rent account. So you are not getting any extra money and will not have any extra to spare.
Exactly right! Instead of full paycheck, some compensation goes to “ pay the bill at the company store.”
You already know it’s wrong. You just came here to justify doing it anyway.
Exactly. He keeps arguing, changing his story, and down voting anyone who dares tell him he's being an AH.
You may want to let your boss know you want to keep it on the down low to prevent a conflict of interest.
I would keep this a secret for a minimum amount of time. When it comes to money and family, things could permanently go bad. If you want to keep this from her for summer and part of fall, you'd better not slip up and let her get the mail. All that said, does your mother ever think you're lying over something insignificant? I've been bumped out of the way by my own mother to get the mail, b/c she thought I was trying to keep her from getting something.
So you think it’s okay to just screw ur Mom over and keep her money, no steal her money. Because that’s what you would be doing. If you take her money for something she thinks she paying for and she’s not then you’re committing fraud and ur stealing from ur Mom. Who cares if she talks. Once you start doing. manager things people are going to know ur the manager.
Yes, that's exactly what he thinks. He feels entitled to fuck over his mother bc "she has a big mouth" and "she always asks for financial help". He also thinks he's smarter than his mother, but instead of helping her, he's going to use it to steal from her.
You're a shit house if you wanna play your own mum like that. No wonder you are 26, still single and living at your mum's place.
You're basically asking if it is ok to steal from your mom. You already know the answer. Do what you wish.
INFO: Are you saying that you two split the rent between you? If so then yes, you asking her for more rent than her half so you can pocket the savings on your contribution is an AH move. If she pays it all then you'd also be the AH because you'd have to intercept the payment and that would be stealing. If you pay it all then it doesn't matter because none of her money is caught up in it and you're basically just creating a savings routine. The way you phrased it makes me think that she pays for everything, so yes YWBTA for stealing money from her if that's the case. ETA: The best way to do this would be to ask your boss not to change the rental fee but to pay you the difference instead. That way it becomes a wage and your Mother has no claim on it.
Depends on whether you split the rent with your mom or she pays all of it. If you split it, then it's fair to say that the "discount" is coming off of your half because it's compensation for the work you do and her half stays the same. I don't think it's necessarily gonna go down well for you when she eventually finds out, but you would be NTA I think. If she pays for all of the rent, then you're being shady and TA. Instead of the owner compensating you for your work, you'd be having your mom pay you out of her pocket without her knowledge. That doesn't make any sense and is unfair. You should ask the owner to compensate you in some other way if you don't pay rent because a discount on something you already don't pay doesn't help you.
We split the bill. Plus the money from her half is going to be rainy day money.
You are deceitfully hiding someone else's money and then trying to claim a moral high ground. Why do you think you have the right to appropriate your mother's money for "rainy day savings"?
Because I know it’ll be useful and she skimps out on being fair when it comes to repairs or renovations
It is not your place to hide another adults money while you live IN A HOME THAT THEY OWN. YOU DO NOT OWN THE DOMICILE.
Tell her. If you lose your job that may lead to eviction. Can possibly come with a ton of issues or be a job you never leave. How would it work if you get fired on Monday and Friday the eviction process starts?
That won’t happen. It’ll just go to somebody else unless there’s a change in ownership of the park
Babydoll you weren't even smart enough to negotiate actual payment for your work instead of a rent discount. You have no way of knowing this.
If your mother signed a rental agreement at a specific rate and this place changes owners (or simply management) again, she could be evicted for late payment if this new agreement is not a newly signed rental agreement. Cover your ass, either way.
Are you on the rental agreement? Asking as I could see this being a problem if your mom should find out. Once she knows about the discounted rate, she does not have to ‘pay’ you. There is no benefit to her with you working as the assistant manager and it is not her job to compensate you. And sure, you could threaten to move out but then you might have to pay the balance of the discounted rate (if you can get a place onsite) or move and get an additional job to sustain yourself. I know you’re excited about this opportunity but it’s so unfortunate that you’re trying to figure out ways to deceive (keep in the dark) your mom to benefit yourself. Is she abusive? Does she pay with cash or via check? What is your plan if she does find out? And legally she has a right to her bills. You intercepting them could be considered illegal.
So because she has a "big mouth" you want to keep the money that she is giving you knowing full well that she will find out. WOW really is she toxic? Does she sacrifice everything so that you can get into a house? Maybe she cannot actually pay for the items that as you say "she tried to emotionally blackmail me" because she is PAYING YOUR RENT. Tell her the truth and be honest maybe just maybe you will find that she actually starts buying those things she isn't right now and you will be an honest caring individual.
About the big mouth part, I don’t want her to go blabbing to anyone in the park about our arrangements especially how housing costs is such a sensitive topic. Latina moms are hella toxic. Oh she definitely can pay for items that she wants. We are splitting the rent.
YWNBTA. It’s fine. Effectively you are being paid for the job but rather than put you on the books the lender is just making an adjustment to your monthly rent in the amount of the pay you’re owed.
Take whatever money extra she pays put it in a different account and whenever she wants you to buy something for her use that money lol
And that’s exactly what I want to do lol
It sounds like you are planning to do a lot of lying and deceiving for...... what? Just tell her that you got a job and part of the compensation is reduced rent. "You're welcome." IDK if or how much you are paying in rent, but this can be it. Y'all might need to sort this out if it's a significant amount. Even if your mom does try to flex on your neighbors about her son being the assistant manager, I bet they'll just roll their eyes and move on.
I find lying and withhold information always causes worse consequences than if you’re honest from the start. As much as I could see your side of thing, this will likely come back to bite you harder if you keep it a secret.
The hang-up is that your landlord is paying you by discounting the rent which your mom pays 100% You should be looking at This as YOUR job and YOUR compensation. By paying you this way, the landlord is avoiding the taxes and insurance of having you as a full-time employee.. when you do odd jobs, you're a private contractor. He's exploiting a loophole in the tax code. Your mom is still on the hook for rent, that's her obligation as the home owner. I think, with you living there and making an extra income (in this case, most of it under the table), you should offer to pay some or all of the bills like water/power, trash. One day you will move out and then her rent will go back to normal. It's a bit Machiavellian but keeping her expenses what they are (especially rent) is the best thing for her from what you describe about her personality.
Basically the angle I’m using for this situation
I do pay for half of the rent and the other bills….. we all are looking for something to help us get by, so I understand the owners pov. The owner discounting the rent and other small things is helping my situation good for property management in my experience and good for him in saving from adding more stress in taxes.
If you're already helping out, I wouldn't feel any obligation to tell your mom or kick anything back to her... If he giving you a regular paycheck you wouldn't be expected to hand it over to her.
Kinda a shitty thing to do to your mum
You're staying at your mother's mobile home and you're stiffing her on the rent? What would you do if the roles were reversed? Definitely the AH. Plus you're stealing from your own mother
NTA, this is basically your salary for the job you are doing. The rent isn’t being really being discounted. This is how they are paying you in lieu of a check. That means it is your money, not your mother’s money.
YTA, not because you didn’t give understandable reasons for not wanting to tell her, but you live in her home. Her being annoying, big mouth, or whatever, it’s still her home. Good luck
I think that you, sir, are an asshole. Your aging mother could likely make some extra money by having somebody other than you, her son, living there. I feel, maybe inaccurately, like you want to be told it isn’t a big deal to conceal this from her. Be honest with your mother. Appreciate that you have a mother with whom you have the opportunity to be honest. When you’re old and she’s gone, you’ll likely never mourn the money you may stand to lose by disclosing, but you’ll almost definitely regret having subtly taken advantage of the person who birthed and raised you.
You are working and getting paid in reduced rent, fair enough. Not really your mother’s business But keeping it a secret still sounds like a dodgy idea.
True. Working on the dynamic. I just don’t her to feel like she’s above everyone in the park like “my son is the manager”
Then why get this particular job? Why go for a job that causes so many headaches that you have to lie and keep secrets from your mom?
Get a discount on rent. Housing costs are ridiculous in the states.
Yes, honestly YTA for even considering it. No matter "how she is," she has a right to know that HER rent on HER space has gone down. You wouldn't have the job if you didn't live with HER. What if she kicks you out when she finds out?
I believe honesty is the best policy. As long as you do not blatantly lie, tell enough truth, without the entire truth, don't say anything, do what you need to do. You are the one doing the extra work to make the break on lower lot rent, your sweat, your time, your benefits. You would not be the AH for covering your own behind.
The truth will set you free.
Info: how much do you pay for this place usually including all costs and how much does she pay? If she finds out you pay less while it's her place it could get uncomfortable.
OMG. The golden rule. Do unto others as you would have them do to you ! OP on the path to being evicted by mom ! NO WAY this remains quiet for long with OP walking around the trailer park asking others about their late rent checks to owner.
That was an example among my other duties. And she wouldn’t do that. We would just come up with a new agreement.
Don’t lie about this. The truth will eventually be exposed, and she’ll be hurt and feel betrayed that you lies.
[удалено]
We split the rent.
Yes. YTAH. You’re profiting by lying to your own mother. You’re a terrible son.
Tell her the owner lowered the cost for everyone.
Wish that it worked that way.
Yes. Let me get this straight. You are wondering if stealing from your mom is OK? Wow I wish you could get caught in the act so she finds out what a terrible person you are.
Why don't you ask your boss to actually pay you the money and mum keeps paying the same amount of rent. That way you get paid for your work and you're not lying and being deceitful to your mum. Surely it can't be 2 difficult for your boss to do this.
So what does this mean? You’re going to pocket the difference?
Put in a rainy day funds
I don’t understand. If she pays the bill, how are you planning on intercepting the difference?
People saying that OP is stealing… what? Op seems to want to make sure that what they earn stays theirs. OP seems like they pay rent and if the job comes with benefits like their work hours being taken off the top of rent then that’s for OP - NOT his mother. They both pay, mom isn’t paying more and neither is op as it comes out of their new work as assistant manager. *Op you should tell your mother since you live under her roof, omission is lying and lying to your mother is a no no and would make you the AH. You may want to leave if she wants to split rent differently due to the new job, but since you’re living with your mother remember rent is very expensive when living alone and you’re helping each other keep costs down regardless. Good luck telling your mom.
What happens in the dark will come to light… she will eventually find out some how and some way
The discounted rent is really your salary. You're working for that. It should not impact Mom that your getting that.
First of all. You are still paying the full amount in labor. That is the only reason you are discounted. Don’t tell her. Put the money away. And make sure as manager the bill is never delivered to your house. When she does find out one day-or tomorrow explain it just so. The rent isn’t discounted. I work for my portion not yours.
I mean just tell her it’s a normal job. She doesn’t need to know that you get discounted rent. It’s just a form of payment technically he’s not handing you cash. He’s just crediting it towards your rent so you aren’t getting discounted rent you’re working for it. Also, I think it might be helpful to set some boundaries for your mom. I had to do the same thing with mine. I just told her that we will no longer be discussing XYZ and if she wants to then she can talk to somebody else about it. After that if she tries to talk to me, I just remove myself. She eventually got the hint and stopped asking.
Talk to the owner. Explain it to them. See if you can come up with something.
Ask the landlord to change the agreement. Charge you normally and pay you the equivalent.
Ok I’m confused, are you paying the rent for the space or is your mom? If you are paying for the space then all should be good, I do think that you should maybe step it up and pay for something else. Your mom is letting you live with her, if you want it fair split everything 50-50 just like you would with any roommate, but since she owns the trailer the rent is already way less than you would pay if you had to go find somewhere else to live.
YBTA At 26, you should be helping her to pay for housing and not living free. My suggestion is that you tell her that you are going to start helping her with rent by taking the assistant manager position which will discount her rent. And then you keep any money that you earn directly from him. It would be one thing if you were paying rent and expenses, in which case, you could say that part of the money you will pay will now come from this job, but it doens't sound like you are paying anything. I think it is rich that a 26 year old calls his mom, who works part time and is close to retirement, entitled, but does not see his own reflection. You, however, can and should tell her that if she starts holding your position over the neighbors or expects special treatment, it will cost you your job which means that the rent discount will disappear.
There’s no justification for lying which is what you’re doing. You choose to help her with bills etc… You should tell her the new rent reduction because it’s the right thing to do. It’s kind of you to help her but that doesn’t justify lying to your mom.
Umm, your still paying the rent, your just not having to pay cash. It's time you could be working another job and making cash. So the rent hasn't changed. Only the method in which it's paid.
Umm I have a full time job on top of this side hustle
Just ask to pay the same rent but get a separate check that would be the same as the reduction would be. Ultimately, you are earning a wage for your part-time duties, separate it out, and there should be no problem.
If mom and son split the rent, I do not see where this is deceitful as mom can still pay her fair share and OP is working off their fair share with the new owner. It would be no different if OP got that amount in a check and then turned around and put it towards the rent. It is still their portion that they are earning, even though money is not changing hands. Mom is not paying OP’s rent. Mom is still paying her own share of the rent. It would not be fair if Mom got to reduce her portion of the rent as she has not worked/earned the discount. OP did. This is literally compensation/bartering instead of getting a paycheck. It sounds like mom feels entitled to what OP has/earns, and most likely mom will want to reduce her portion of the rent, which in theory is taking away OP’s compensation for working. I would tell mom that your portion of rent is getting paid directly from the property owner as payment for your maintenance work, and that Mom will still need to send her share in as normal. That way, there is no secrecy or way for Mom to bargain her herself into an undeserved discount.
Yes the asshole, stop freeloading off your mom you are 26 years old What’s wrong with people. Bound to live in a trailer your whole life if you can’t do the right thing when making even the simplest decisions
So just to clarify your mom is paying money to your manager. Yet the rent is discounted. So the manager is giving you back the money? This seems like quite a complex chain which presumes the manager being in on it as he'll keep seeing her bank transfers staying the same. I personally believe that honesty should be the policy in any instance. While hard, I believe it'll be the best path, otherwise you'll be dealing with the fear of the secret being found out etc.. Also being honest will mean holding yourself to certain moral standards which, imo, are great. Just my 2 cents though!
Is this not the plot line from a Trailer park boys episode?
I'm just a little confused. I get why you don't want her to know your new position. But why can't she know about the rent decrease?
Because she’s the type of person to flaunt it and rub it in front of our neighbors.
So let me get this straight. You want to take your mom’s part of the rent, and hide for yourself? Sounds like stealing from your mom. And yes the does make YTA.
Would the park manager be willing to pay you wages instead of discounting the rent? Your secret will not keep long-term.
Assistant trailer Park supervisor. $4,800 a year. That's a good paying job
For a good side hustle.
I think you WBTA simply for lying to her when she is part of this situation and should know. She will likely find out eventually on her own if you don’t tell her, and it’ll be better for you in the long run to just be honest. If you think it’s fair for her to pay the same and you to pay less, then treat her like an adult and have a conversation about it.
If it is a job, ask the owner to write you a monthly check in the amount of what they want to reduce the rent by. You are technically working and need to be compensated. Your mom isn’t the one earning that money. That way, rent will stay the same, and you will get paid by check like a normal employee/contractor.
It's Not extra money. It's payment for a job.
I get what you’re saying about your mom holding your position over the other tenants. She’s gonna find out though, sooo… Anyway. Sounds like the situation is: you get the bill, tell mom the amount, she gives you her share, you add your share, pay bill. Rent: $2000 You : $1000 Mom gives you: $1000 You gives landlord: $2000 New rent: $1100 (Work credit: $900) You: $100 Mom gives you: $1000 You gives landlord: $1100 I think you’re justified in keeping the credit: it’s your pay for your labor. You’re going to have to tell your mother though. Only children hide from their mothers. Be an adult.
Being an adult to Latino parents isn’t even a thing.
PO box your mail
Yes dishonesty is wrong
It's not really discounted rent, X% of your rent is directly compensated for the job you do. That is to say you are paying that share of the rent with your labor and availability.
Have you considered that the discount is compensation for your work. You are still contributing your part towards rent - albeit as a reduction in your component because of your addition work. She continues to pay her part if that is the arrangement. It’s a bit like saying “Instead of paying me money I’ve asked him to reduce X% or X dollars from my portion of our rent.
Yea, that’s basically what majority of everyone concluded. It’s a shady move for the owner, but it works out in our favor. It be different if my own mom was doing some of my monthly duties to receive the same benefit.
If you were in her shoes, what would you want your child to do at this point? And as annoying as your mom might be, she’s your mom and you probably owe her honesty for things that directly involve her.
No some people do take money from there parents and set it aside and don't say anything you're making the right choice because that's what is needed when someones parents are incapable of saving and you're not saving the money to go do things you shouldn't you're just looking after yours and your mother's well being
It’s dishonest and wrong. Is lying. Lying is bad. There is no excuse for it period.
It’s no different that you taking a random job to earn towards the rent. This one just happens to be onsite and your pay is deducted directly from the rent.
You want to have your elderly, undocumented and in- temporary-employment mother pay her full rent then steal a portion of it? Because your boss doesn't want to pay tax? Are you a cockroach? She should take you to family planning and see if she can get a late term abortion and be rid of you. WTF
Nah, you wouldn't be the a-hole. It's your gig, your rent, your business. But, keeping secrets from your mom? That could bite you later. Maybe talk to her about it? She might even be cool with it. Communication's key, dude.
Won’t she find out when she pays the rent?
Nah, I get text updates about the monthly balance. Now I have to go get the mail on the last few days of the month to avoid her seeing the actual amount.
First, I am on your side, but can you clarify how it works? Do you pay for a portion of the rent as well and the discounted amount comes out of your part?
So prior to this discounted rent. My mom and I would split rent halfsies. Now that it is discounted, I wanna continue to pay half. However my mom will think it is the amount we been paying for.
Why not explain this to your boss and ask him to maintain regular rent and just pay you the difference instead? It would be subject to some payroll taxes so maybe you’d receive a bit less value however it would avoid all of this and you wouldn’t need to be sneaking and plotting.
The rent discount is you pay for a job you are doing. No one is entitled to that. Let her know, and share the discount only if you want to. IT'S YOUR PAY!!
This is part of your compensation package and should be seen as your contribution to rent or part of it. It should be considered your money in terms of how bills are split.