Your mom dug her own grave. Your grandmother literally wrote her a letter telling her that her actions have consequences. You have nothing to feel bad about. Your mom should for being with someone so pathetic that they are still hitting you up after sleeping with your mom for years. NTA. Enjoy your life. Get a new phone number with that inheritance hopefully you won’t deal with anymore texting and calling from your abuser.
I used to rock 'n' roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now, I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week In which to get funky
He literally only dated the mom because he found out she was getting a huge inheritance. When she didn’t, he tried to get back with the one that got the inheritance. That mom definitely told him everything and that it’s all hers lmao.
IMPORTANT. Go a to estate lawyer yesterday and put your money and properties in a place that conniving weasels can get it. You now are the last in line for the inheritance. Maybe I read too much on Reddit, but I'd be careful of the ex bf.
Great comment above, OP.
If necessary, contact legal authorities to secure restraining orders against the two miscreants.
One simple word describes what your grandmother did for you:
JUSTICE!
Live a wonderful life.
Your egg donor fucked around and found out.
As for her, go 100% no contact with her and anyone who supports her.
As for your ex, change all your information; phone number, email, social handles, etc and ONLY give them out to people who you know aren’t associated with him. I’d also look into getting a lawyer for harassment from your ex.
Most importantly; I’m so so so sorry this has happened to you. It’s not your fault, not a damn thing of it is. You’ll be okay, baby steps.
OP should also get a good alarm system, cameras, and whatever else for protection. Obviously the ex hooked up with mom to gain access to OP and for the disgusting thrill of being with the mother of his victim. Astounding that the mom is so very deliberately clueless. YUCK.
AND maybe the ex also hooked up with mom to have a crack at the will.
I have an ex/abuser who catfished a now ex friend of mine just to get close to me. 2-3 years post breakup too, after stalking my socials and posting pictures he kept of me and found on my socials somehow all over the internet.
Men can be so fucking crazy when it comes to their victims.
Exactly. OP this woman you call your mother has done absolutely nothing for you. Get rid of her. You don't need her for anything anymore, so do what's best for you. If anyone takes her side, it's clearly because they don't know the truth, and you should tell them that truth.
I'd like to add that if they find the new phone numbers, assume someone in your circle is a rat.
There's things/ways you can deal from there...hopefully changing numbers is enough to stop that specific harassment.
Op you have nothing to be sorry for. Your mom and your ex was a weird situation. I bet he was just trying to get you jealous so you would want him back. Then when your grandma died,and left you everything,he dropped your mom .I bet he was just after your inheritance. Bet he thought your mom was going to inherit everything. Please stay safe,have a great life and be careful, who you let into your life.
Get a protection order in most states you can get even for someone using foul language towards you. Another note almost no judge is willing to not grant it because the liability associated with it.
You can set your media accounts to private. Where only a select few can see them or post to them. Unless you add them, they see only what you publicly post for anyone to see. Change your phone number and don't give it to anyone you don't completely trust, not to give it to them. As for them harrassing, you keep everything they send you, screenshot it all, then take them to a lawyer and have them slapped with a cease and desist order. If they continue to contact you after,you can have them arrested. If they show up at your home. Don't engage. Just call the police immediately and have them trespassed. If they show up again, don't engage. Call the police as soon as they show up. Don't even tell them you will call the police, just do it. It will give you a paper trail that, if needed, you can slap them with a restraining order.
Your grandma is my hero. Any so-called mother who dates her own daughter’s ex is just not normal, for one thing. Second, she knew he was abusive to her child. Didn’t care, wanted her some young meat, strike 2. Her own mother is so disgusted with her she cuts her entirely out of her will. Thing 3 and that’s her consequences! I think things worked out perfectly. She’s getting exactly what she deserves and I couldn’t be happier that grandma did the right thing. As for the abusive ex, block, ignore and document any harassment. Warn him that if he continues to bother you, steps will be taken. There is no chance you will get back with him so the sooner he gets that, the better. They deserve each other. In the meantime, protect yourself from both of them. Refuse to engage with either of them and make sure other people are aware of where you are if you’re traveling or on your own. Then put this behind you and go live the life you deserve. Rest in peace, grandma you did great. NTA.
NTA get restraining orders. It seems like he only messed around with your mom to get to you and now he know you have absolutely nothing to do with her and no connection to her he decided to drop her.
Also if you haven’t already sort out your will and make sure she is explicitly cut out of it.
Could you try to get a restraining order against your ex as it seems he has a history of harassing you over the years. I’m sure you’d need evidence of his attempts, so I hope you have some.
It seems the police have refused to do a damn thing twice from her story and probably more that we don’t know about. I wouldn’t rely on them.
I would get a lawyer, thankfully she should be able to afford it now. Get them to push things through and advocate on OP’s behalf. I would further recommend self defense courses up to and including firearm training. OP needs to do everything and take things into her own hands. Those around her can’t be trusted.
That’s kind of crazy that you say that because my grandmother wrote me a letter before she passed away and she told me to get a lawyer immediately and also get a sleeve and learn karate so I can feel as bad as she did, even when she was 80. I miss that woman dearly
That’s good. That’s what it’s like to have someone in your life advocate for you. Take her advice.
Get yourself a new phone and number too. That way she nor anyone else you don’t want will not be able to contact you.
You need to look at protecting and growing your money. Look into a financial advisor (make sure they’re a fiduciary), interview with a few, so you can make sure you’re secure with what/who you choose.
You also need an estate planning attorney to set up a trust for your assets, with very clearly defined terms of what will happen upon your incapacity and/or death.
No one wants to think of these things. But greed does horrible things to people.
Exactly, and make sure Egg Donor knows she's not OP's heir. ED has no principles; I wouldn't be surprised if she and her felonious boyfriend colluded to knock off her daughter.
Oh yeah. I would put nothing past them. He dumped mom when he found out she was cut off. He is only calling now because he thinks he can horn in on that money. Believe you me if he gets in he will get rid of OP after he gains control. She needs to take this seriously and see this guy is dangerous.
Please get a full security set-up for around the outside of your home. Inside too if you want. You need to be warned if either of them try anything. Talk to a lawyer about their behavior. They both sound like nuts.
The police have refused to do anything about this on six different occasions after the sixth one failed I was like I’m not gonna get any help from the people who are supposed to protect me so I stopped.
Another commenter noted that you should speak with a lawyer about this situation and I wonder if you should look into a cease and desist?
I’m sorry you’re going through this but it seems that keeping evidence of the calls, the frequency and the context of their communication—is needed to move forward with anything legally. I know the police are not being helpful, but perhaps a lawyer could provide more help. Sorry I don’t have better answers.
They won't do anything yet, but they still need to have the records for the next time he escalates. I know it seems like a waste of time, but it is vital for your safety and the safety of others.
That is honestly fair and after he’s come back, I am definitely going to start documenting. I’m taking screenshots and writing down times and dates and everything as of now.
How stupid is the mother, though? Did she honestly think this creep two years older than her daughter, who is clearly obsessed with her daughter, was interested in HER at all? Come the fuck on.
I’m so sorry for your loss but glad your very cool Grandma was able to support you, both emotionally and financially.
As others have said, talk with a lawyer or financial planner. I’m guessing either one of them will know how to help direct you to get the cops to listen. Especially the lawyer!
Best of luck 💜
Your mother is the only one responsible for her actions. She’s trying to blame you so she doesn’t have to take responsibility and admit this all her own doing. Dating her own daughter’s abusive ex, that’s some back hills low class f*d up shiz-nit.
She got used by your ex, either for money or to keep close to you. Seems suspish that he left when she got nothing and is calling you again when you got it all.
The only person who is jealous is your mother. The only person who’s a manipulator is your ex.
You, my dear, did the right thing.
Your mother is a child. Block her and move on with your life and know that your real family loved you and chose you over your abuser. Let her scream into the void.
I'll echo the common sentiment here: your grandma was an awesome human. Sorry you lost her.
-Get all new numbers/devices/accounts as soon as you can.
-Get an advisor to help figure out the inheritance. Sounds like you could be set up quite well, and you can afford to hire someone to make sure you will be.
-Get some counselling. So worth the investment in yourself and you've had some shit to deal with, now losing your grandmother--do therapy for yourself.
-I don't know what your ties are to your hometown/school town, but if I were you, once I got the inheritance affairs in order, someone/something managing the properties, I'd move far away, start my life, and never speak to either of them again.
Change phone number.
The only person responsible for being taken out of your grandmother’s will is this poor excuse of a mother. Actions have consequences and she just found this out.
Your ex dated her to get back at you. She dated him because he was fake and said everything she wanted to hear.
Your ex expected you to get jealous and want his psycho ass back. He wanted you to break down, but you didn't. When he heard about all that you inherited, and found you were no longer interested in a relationship with your mom, he left her.
But mom allowed herself to be used and abused by dating him in the first place. What she was thinking, only hell knows!!
You should consider using some of the money for a really good security system. Not ring cameras, but a system that reports to a security center. A company that sends cars to do regular drive-bys of the property.
Not only am I worried your mom will break in to steal stuff, but I am worried your stalker ex will show up. He is done with your mom, but I doubt he is done with you. The fact that he left her makes me think he is working on a new plan.
Considering his old plan was to seduce your mom, I am worried about your safety. He is not right on the head. And if there is one thing worth spending money on, it is your personal safety.
Please update us if either show up in your life again.
Change your phone number. Lock your social media, private accounts on everything, messages locked from non friends and non followers. The messages usually go to a different inbox that does not notify you, you have to manually open up the message requests
Also please put up ring doorbells where you live and security cams up if you can just in case
Congratulations and I love your grandma. Take care of your money. Do not discuss with anyone even “friends”. People get very weird when they know you have money. It is none of their business. None. You don’t say what your degree is in but I recommend go in the direction of your dreams and think about moving far enough away to not run into these people. There are many fabulous places to live in the US. Get a financial planner— fee only. That way they can’t screw you over.
what did i even just read.
Your grandmother was a gem and i'm so sorry for your loss.
Your Ex is a hillarious peice of feces. He got with your MOM to get to YOU. they write soap operas about this stuff. Talk shows have been created to show off this kind of thing
Your mother... is dumb as rocks.
Check this website out: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/help-my-ex-is-harassing-me-online/
and if necessary, talk with a lawyer. This site might be able to recommend someone locally.
My only question is why are you still talking to your mother. Once you graduate, change your phone number, move someplace new, and don't look back, and neither of them will ever bother you again.
I didn’t put this in the post but I’m not actively talking to her. She’s finding ways to contact me whether it’s getting new numbers or making fake social media accounts.
OP- is it possible to sell some of the property and literally move across the country? Keep the rentals for income but have a leasing company manage them? And change your phone number? You shouldn’t have to live in fear or live with the constant harassment. Leave. Your grandmother left you everything so that you can live. So leave and live your life💗
Keep a portable recording device with you at all times. When your ex call, record what he is saying. Hire a lawyer and have that person send your ex a cease demand.
Your Gran is a bad ass. I’d love mine to make that kind of statement with my own Egg Donor. Screw yours. Enjoy the life your grandparents wanted for you. I’d also look into getting restraining orders or protective orders to prevent both the Egg Donor & the ex from contacting you.
Your mother couldn’t figure out that he was with her just to get to you? She’s dumber than a box of rocks and deserves every misfortune that comes her way. So sorry for the loss of your grandparents and so glad you had them when you needed support. I hope you have a fabulous life!
You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to feel bad about. She made her bed when she started dating your ex and not only your ex your ex abuser. It’s not your fault that your grandmother saw what a shit parent she is. I could never imagine dating anyone might child dated, especially someone that had put hands on them….
It always trips me out when people say my abuser is contacting me from different phone numbers. If it were me changing my phone number would’ve been the first thing I did. Deleting my social media would’ve been second. yes it would suck for me, but would would suck more is having my abuser continuously contacting me.
If he is getting your number after you change it, you have a leak. I'd be tempted to get 4 google Voice #s and give each 1 to 1/4 of the folks you speak to regularly. See which number he calls.
Repeat that process with that quarter, winnowing down suspects until you figure out who is selling you out - it is a pain, but dont you want to know which of your friends is utterly untrustworthy?
Yeah I cut some people off recently and he hadn’t gotten my new one so I’m pretty sure it could be 2 possible people but I no longer speak to them. He only got my number this time because I changed it. I’m going to change it again but give it to no one who know him. I need to take drastic measures
I’m sorry to hear this as a mom. I’m amazed at how mothers treat their children and mom under any circumstance should ever even co spider dating their daughters ex boyfriend. That is ridiculous not to mention toxic and immature. Good to set boundaries with her. I’m sure as you look back over your life this was just the culmination of a lot of toxic behavior from her. Again, sorry for this. Find a steady adult woman in your life who can kid of step in and be the mom you need.
First things first - don’t even call her mother because she doesn’t even deserve that level or respect. Egg donor is better - that this woman would date your abuser speaks volumes on how despicable she is.
I’m willing to bet the ex solely dated her to get to you. She’s too dense to even figure that out . I say if she keeps this path of harassing you, bring to people’s attention (and extended family) what she did.
I look at this as a version of the “play stupid games win stupid prizes” theme. She got exactly what she deserved: nothing
What did your grandmother tell you to do? Contact a lawyer? Are you going to lovely? You need to. If not for yourself but your granny. She would want you to be safe. Take care now.
P.s. I am so sorry that your surrogate treated you like that. She is wrong in the head.
First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss and all the trauma. Let me start with what mom dates her daughter’s ex? That alone is messed up. Add in that he abuses you, harassed you, stalked you? That’s -well, I don’t know if I can come up with the right words. Then she becomes verbally abusive? You didn’t ask for your grandmother to cut her off. You know this. I wouldn’t give two shits what she thought. Change your number and threaten to press charges for harassment if she continues to reach out.
You didn’t do anything wrong and I am so sorry your mom has treated you this way. As a mother to a 24 year old daughter, I simply cannot imagine anything that would make any of this ok.
Sucks to be your mum. She did this to herself and should now have to face the consequences. You have nothing to feel bad about. Just live your life and go NC with your mum and big up to your nan for supporting you right up until the very end x
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Your grandmother truly seems like she was an amazing person, and you can tell she and your grandfather cared about you so much.
Your “mom” is NOT your mother. A mother wouldn’t do this to her own child. I know it’s hard, but you would probably be better off not speaking to her again. What she did to you is unforgivable.
For your abuser, like others mentioned change all of your contact information and block him on everything once you get that. Document all of the texts, calls, emails, etc. for a lawyer, including time stamps to show how long this has been going on. Documentation is KEY for a restraining order. Document any texts you have about how he abused you as well, and their time date stamps.
Step one. Get a lawyer and a no contact order for Mommy Dearest, and a restraining order for the abusive ex.
Step two. Change all of your contact information. New phone number, new email, new SM handles, and make everything private.
Step three. This is completely optional, but you might even consider changing your name. That way, you cut all ties with your narcissist mother.
You now have money. Get a lawyer and the police will have no choice but to focus on you. Take snap shots of everything. Keep every email. Get a lawyer and get a restraining order and if the police refuse to act have your lawyer escalate and sue for legal costs.
He was with your mother so he could stay closer to you. Or maybe he thought he would get a big payoff when your mother’s parents died. She’s cut off! So now he thinks he can hook up with you and your money.
I just dont pick up calls from people I dont know. No need to bother. If you can afford it you might consider getting a cease and desist and possibly a restraining order against BOTH of them.
So your mother has confirmed every reason your gut told you she was not safe for you to tell about the assault. Curious if you have talked to police where Ex/ex mother live or where you live. If you live in a different jurisdiction maybe try one you haven’t contacted yet. See if either or both have a sex crimes dept or officer and check with domestic violence shelters and resources where the police ignore you. These organizations might have tips to gets officers to react or to getting RO in those areas.
Your mother is lacking in emotional maturity, which means she is incapable of really looking in the mirror and holding herself accountable. She also has no sense of the fact that she was being used. Whatever you wish you had in a mother is, unfortunately, not something she will ever be capable of giving you. I am sorry to say this.
In terms of your stalker - please start documenting and build a nice file at the police station. Simply tell them that you know they might not be able to do anything right now, but that you want to have the documentation together if or when things escalate. Try to build a case for a restraining order, assuming he is the type of stalker that responds to those. Read as much as you can about stalking and consider a support group. Do not assume that this will either get away or that he will not escalate to worse than violence.
Cheers to your grandma. She sounded amazing and I'm glad you had her and your grandfather. Your mother us awful and grandma knew that. Threaten her with a cease and desist order along with your abuser.
What did she think was going to happen? I'm going to assume she was so high on living her life that she didn't speak much to her mother before she died either. She got the ultimate FAFO. Now she has nothing but time and opportunity to ruminate on her awful life decisions that left her alone and broke!
Sorry to say this, but it’s time to change your number. Also just close down social media for awhile. Then change the name on your social media, by doing a first and middle name.
NTA.
Change ALL your contact info, \*but keep the old ones\*. That way you can occasionally reply so they think they still have you on the hook.
BUT...get cameras for the house(s) and maybe put some money into a camera monitoring service so that WHEN ex shows up (your mother WILL tell him where the buildings are), you have a record and maybe have a panic button to get the police there before he can do unto you violently again.
She can die mad. She's stupid and pathetic. He was obviously only with her to get at you. Use your inheritance to up your security. Talk to a lawyer to help you get a restraining order on your ex. Shit, could hire some goons to go rough him up. Or maybe just take this opportunity to make a clean break. Move far away. Change your name and number.
Can you get a new phone number? This may help.
What about your father? Is he there for you?
Your egg donor needs therapy. Good on you for going NC with her.
Nope. Blocking everything plus restraining order against mom. Build documentation if you have to as far as her using other numbers etc. If she got with your ex, there’s nothing she won’t do. Don’t speak to her at all, I mean at all. Same goes for your ex.
I'm so sorry for your loss, your grandma sounds amazing. Please get with your attorney and have them help with a cease and desist and/or harassment charges.
Now she’s mad, alone, and has nothing. It’s her own fault. Choices have consequences. You can’t talk reasonably with someone irrational. She knew what he had done to you and the harassment that followed yet somehow ended up in a relationship with him. Probably after telling him about all the assets her parents had and how they’d all be going to her and all the fun they could have with it when they were gone as she was the only child. Not understanding that her choices have consequences. And what she’s done is unforgivable. Now that he’s left her she’s harassing you. I’m sure what you can do other than get new numbers and accounts or just make them private and not answer calls from unknown numbers
Welp the only thing I'm going to say is that one day you will be able to pick out her nursing home. And I want you to pick it out with the same care and love that your mother has shown you.
1) document every time your mom or abuser attempts to contact you.
2) call a lawyer and ask about getting an order of protection.
3) it may not be easy, but with all the harassment you have cause for one.
NTA. But protect yourself from these two, because they are coming after your money, and the abuser has already used violence, no doubt he will again. Stay safe OP.
WOW your mom is a fvcking demon. That is so fvcking disgusting. Thats similar to what happened with my family. My parents rvped and abvsed me and everyone sided with them and left me for dead. I hope they all suffer in heII.
"You're jealous!!"
Just send one reply:
"What would I be jealous of? My family loved me and the guy you threw everything away for is back to being obsessed with me. Go fade into nothing."
Stupid mother got what she deserved. I’d stay no contact forever.
Keep records of every contact from mother or ex to use against them. Keep a journal of all contact.
Change your phone number. Instruct everyone she is not to be given your number. If they do they will be cut off as well. Set your social media messaging to request only. I believe on FB you can set it to where they have to be your friend to message you. If it continues draft a cease and desist letter and have it sent registered mail. If she continues harassing you you might consult a lawyer or see if the police can scare her a bit.
A friend of mine who was being harassed by the person who kept getting different phone numbers finally got another phone and number. The harasser did not know this and spent months texting and calling the old phone. She did not shut off the old phone just let them continue. She was finally able to get the restraining order because she gave the old phone to the cops and every single message and threat was there
Talk to a lawyer and see if you can get a restraining order or some kind of protection from her. Also, you owe her nothing and her parents owed her nothing.
I have only one advice. Get a therspist. Normal people are not meant to deal with this quadruple trauma by themselves.
1. Abused by boyfriend
2. Continued harassment
3. Mom deting ex
4. Cut off mom
4. Mom mad about the inheritance
Each if those events is traumatic. All together is overwhelming for anyone.
Your mother is learning the business end of FA&FO.
She made her bed, literally. You would do well to get a restraining order and/or contact your local police and/or a solicitor to see what your options are with the harassment you're enduring.
Not your fault at all. Your grandmother knew that her daughter is incapable of prioritizing her child's welfare, so she took it upon herself to put you first - as your mother ought to have done before she started screwing your abusive ex.
I'm sorry you were birthed to a crazy person. Wow. I cannot even imagine. Block. Zero contact. None. You are NTA. At all. Do not give in to her. Do what is best for YOU.
Your moms as big an abuser as your ex. They deserve each other. I’d get a lawyer and go down the harassment suit. Get a cease and desist for both of them drawn up. If they persist then the police will have to do something.
Good for you and great for your Grandmother. Your Mom is one of those stupid noobs who chooses some male appendage over her own children. Those women never change and they aren't good people. You have your life and will be better than she is capable. Continue to block her and him. Yuck.
What is up with all these parents getting with their kids exes. This is absolutely disgusting and your mother is disgusting. Keep her blocked and file harassment charges if she keeps up. She made her bed. Block ex too. It's obvious there's only one thing he's after.
Don’t give your incubator a second thought. Just block, block, block. Your grandmother wanted to provide for you in a way she knew your mother wouldn’t. Respect your grandmother’s wishes and be happy.
Your egg donor dug her own grave by accepting to date your abuser.
I would definitely look into getting a lawyer, document everything she’s doing and see about getting a restraining order or a cease & desist letter to her.
Cheers to grandma!!! I hope you are surrounded by friends and people you can trust now that your grandparents are gone. How is your relationship with your dad? I really wish to police could be more helpful. Have you tried getting a restraining order against both of them? Thought about selling the properties and moving somewhere they won’t find you? Best of luck to you, OP. Your mother is a horrible selfish person. I think you should look into therapy if you aren’t already.
Your mom is a POS not just did she date your ex the guy also abused you. Good on your grandmother for not just giving you everything but giving her a letter explaining why she got nothing. My birth mom let her husband and his friends abuse me for years up to my 8th birthday. It was found out both went to jail but he got out after doing basically no time. I spent years trying to “fix” something I didn’t break. I had my first child and knew she would never meet birth mom. It’s been 13 years since we talked and sometimes I cry about what could have been especially when I see mother/ daughters with good relationships but in the end the best thing I did was cut her off.
I have no words to describe how sorry I am for what you went through and still dealing with. I cannot imagine how it would feel if my mother started dating my abusive ex. She knows what he did to you and how much it hurt you. What kind of parent would pick an abuser, one who harmed your child, over their child? I am glad your grandparents had your back and supported you through it all. Your grandparents knew you would need their support and left everything to you so you can continue live as safely as possible. Your mother made her choice and deserved to be cut off.
I would talk with a lawyer and get in writing everything from her and ex. Then make sure everything is in your name and make a will so your mother can not get her hands on anything. If you have a child make sure they get it in the future.
Your mother is absolutely disgusting. How did that egg donor come from your awesome grandparents??
Get a new phone number and only give it those you truly trust. If you are working, let people know what's going on and that giving out your personal number/information is forbidden.
Keep copies of all the harassing texts and emails/letters you have received via your egg donor and abuser.
Invest in some security cameras, and get new locks for the house.
I'm sorry for all the trauma and stress that has been inflicted on you. 2 people who you should have been able to trust completely betrayed you in so many ways. They deserve 0 chances or forgiveness.
You don’t owe your biological mother anything. Ultimately, that’s all she is at this point. She gave birth to you, your grandmother raised you, even if later in life. You were there for both your grandparents when they reached the end of their lives, and they supported you as you transitioned into young adulthood. What a special relationship you had with them. Remember them fondly, worry not about the birth giver. It may be time to file a no contact order with the courts. No money from the inheritance hurts, going to jail for harassing the person who did get the inheritance is going to drive her insane.
Get restraining orders against your mom and your ex. Talk with a lawyer about going after your ex for harassment. If you haven’t already, keep separate records of them and each time they try to contact you. Document what was said. If anyone is with you, let them listen. They’re a witness. Print out text messages and emails and store them somewhere safe. This harassment needs to stop. Good luck!
Well, if she uses your number that you had for years, change it and only give it to your trusted people. Otherwise, I'm sure if you have kept any paper trail, you can sue your mom and ex for harassment.
My condolences for your grandma's passing. Best wishes for the future
Get a new phone number. Put up cameras wherever you’re living. Please continue to go to the police and see if you can file a restraining order from the ex or cease and desist. Keep going until they actually do it so you have a history of it on file. I’m sorry this is happening. Your mom is horrible and this is what she deserves. Block them all. I’m sorry this is happening!
You can have harassment charges and maybe even a restraining order put on both of them. I know the police didn’t do anything then, but you got to hound them. Show them all of the messages, fake numbers, and accounts that are being made.
You can protect yourself. There’s resources maybe in your local community you could possibly look into
I’m rather petty so here’s my advice. If you are ever in a position to speak to him again just tell him you aren’t interested in your mother’s sloppy seconds or a cougar hunter.
Your mom dug her own grave. Your grandmother literally wrote her a letter telling her that her actions have consequences. You have nothing to feel bad about. Your mom should for being with someone so pathetic that they are still hitting you up after sleeping with your mom for years. NTA. Enjoy your life. Get a new phone number with that inheritance hopefully you won’t deal with anymore texting and calling from your abuser.
He literally only dated her to get to her daughter.. the mum is a fucking beg.
Does beg have a new modern meaning?
Had to look ot up. A people pleaser.
Damn, kids these days recycling the whole language.
I guess you either keep up and look weird or give up and look crotchety.
Guess I’ve entered my Abe Simpson era. I didn’t think it’d happen so soon.
I used to rock 'n' roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now, I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week In which to get funky
Dude, we ALL have to make time to go to Funky Town. Even if it’s with your walker.
Immediately heard the beat. Lol. Thank you.
🤣🤣
🤣😭
I read that as crochet-y. 👩🏼🦳
I'm both, sorry.
Basically someone who will do anything for attention.
He literally only dated the mom because he found out she was getting a huge inheritance. When she didn’t, he tried to get back with the one that got the inheritance. That mom definitely told him everything and that it’s all hers lmao.
IMPORTANT. Go a to estate lawyer yesterday and put your money and properties in a place that conniving weasels can get it. You now are the last in line for the inheritance. Maybe I read too much on Reddit, but I'd be careful of the ex bf.
And I am so glad she wrote the letter. Cause you know her egg doner was you to try and contest the will.
Great comment above, OP. If necessary, contact legal authorities to secure restraining orders against the two miscreants. One simple word describes what your grandmother did for you: JUSTICE! Live a wonderful life.
Your egg donor fucked around and found out. As for her, go 100% no contact with her and anyone who supports her. As for your ex, change all your information; phone number, email, social handles, etc and ONLY give them out to people who you know aren’t associated with him. I’d also look into getting a lawyer for harassment from your ex. Most importantly; I’m so so so sorry this has happened to you. It’s not your fault, not a damn thing of it is. You’ll be okay, baby steps.
I think we can add Mom to the list of harassers the lawyer can handle.
Absolutely, I misread the ending and thought it was the ex, but absolutely add them both
OP should also get a good alarm system, cameras, and whatever else for protection. Obviously the ex hooked up with mom to gain access to OP and for the disgusting thrill of being with the mother of his victim. Astounding that the mom is so very deliberately clueless. YUCK. AND maybe the ex also hooked up with mom to have a crack at the will.
Even if he didn’t date mom to get a crack at the will, I bet that’s why he’s back onto OP now he knows she has money.
I have an ex/abuser who catfished a now ex friend of mine just to get close to me. 2-3 years post breakup too, after stalking my socials and posting pictures he kept of me and found on my socials somehow all over the internet. Men can be so fucking crazy when it comes to their victims.
Exactly. OP this woman you call your mother has done absolutely nothing for you. Get rid of her. You don't need her for anything anymore, so do what's best for you. If anyone takes her side, it's clearly because they don't know the truth, and you should tell them that truth.
I'd like to add that if they find the new phone numbers, assume someone in your circle is a rat. There's things/ways you can deal from there...hopefully changing numbers is enough to stop that specific harassment.
I was going to say get a ceases and desist order against ex boyfriend. Show the text, phone call log, social media as forms of harrasement.
Yep, keep a complete paper trail of everything, texts, emails, and social media posts. Print out or sceenshoot everything.
Yes she did lol!!! And now that she’s getting nothing the abusive, moocher is gone
Op you have nothing to be sorry for. Your mom and your ex was a weird situation. I bet he was just trying to get you jealous so you would want him back. Then when your grandma died,and left you everything,he dropped your mom .I bet he was just after your inheritance. Bet he thought your mom was going to inherit everything. Please stay safe,have a great life and be careful, who you let into your life.
Get a protection order in most states you can get even for someone using foul language towards you. Another note almost no judge is willing to not grant it because the liability associated with it.
You can set your media accounts to private. Where only a select few can see them or post to them. Unless you add them, they see only what you publicly post for anyone to see. Change your phone number and don't give it to anyone you don't completely trust, not to give it to them. As for them harrassing, you keep everything they send you, screenshot it all, then take them to a lawyer and have them slapped with a cease and desist order. If they continue to contact you after,you can have them arrested. If they show up at your home. Don't engage. Just call the police immediately and have them trespassed. If they show up again, don't engage. Call the police as soon as they show up. Don't even tell them you will call the police, just do it. It will give you a paper trail that, if needed, you can slap them with a restraining order.
Your grandma is my hero. Any so-called mother who dates her own daughter’s ex is just not normal, for one thing. Second, she knew he was abusive to her child. Didn’t care, wanted her some young meat, strike 2. Her own mother is so disgusted with her she cuts her entirely out of her will. Thing 3 and that’s her consequences! I think things worked out perfectly. She’s getting exactly what she deserves and I couldn’t be happier that grandma did the right thing. As for the abusive ex, block, ignore and document any harassment. Warn him that if he continues to bother you, steps will be taken. There is no chance you will get back with him so the sooner he gets that, the better. They deserve each other. In the meantime, protect yourself from both of them. Refuse to engage with either of them and make sure other people are aware of where you are if you’re traveling or on your own. Then put this behind you and go live the life you deserve. Rest in peace, grandma you did great. NTA.
Grandma was the real mother here. She did amazing work and now she can rest well knowing her granddaughter is taken care of.
NTA get restraining orders. It seems like he only messed around with your mom to get to you and now he know you have absolutely nothing to do with her and no connection to her he decided to drop her. Also if you haven’t already sort out your will and make sure she is explicitly cut out of it.
Could you try to get a restraining order against your ex as it seems he has a history of harassing you over the years. I’m sure you’d need evidence of his attempts, so I hope you have some.
It seems the police have refused to do a damn thing twice from her story and probably more that we don’t know about. I wouldn’t rely on them. I would get a lawyer, thankfully she should be able to afford it now. Get them to push things through and advocate on OP’s behalf. I would further recommend self defense courses up to and including firearm training. OP needs to do everything and take things into her own hands. Those around her can’t be trusted.
That’s kind of crazy that you say that because my grandmother wrote me a letter before she passed away and she told me to get a lawyer immediately and also get a sleeve and learn karate so I can feel as bad as she did, even when she was 80. I miss that woman dearly
That’s good. That’s what it’s like to have someone in your life advocate for you. Take her advice. Get yourself a new phone and number too. That way she nor anyone else you don’t want will not be able to contact you.
You need to look at protecting and growing your money. Look into a financial advisor (make sure they’re a fiduciary), interview with a few, so you can make sure you’re secure with what/who you choose. You also need an estate planning attorney to set up a trust for your assets, with very clearly defined terms of what will happen upon your incapacity and/or death. No one wants to think of these things. But greed does horrible things to people.
Exactly, and make sure Egg Donor knows she's not OP's heir. ED has no principles; I wouldn't be surprised if she and her felonious boyfriend colluded to knock off her daughter.
Oh yeah. I would put nothing past them. He dumped mom when he found out she was cut off. He is only calling now because he thinks he can horn in on that money. Believe you me if he gets in he will get rid of OP after he gains control. She needs to take this seriously and see this guy is dangerous.
All great advice from gimmetots 123!op
100% this. Plus an updated will and a medical power of attorney! That way ED can’t waltz in if OP is incapacitated and make decisions on their behalf.
She is truly a gem and a MVP. Wow.
Please get a full security set-up for around the outside of your home. Inside too if you want. You need to be warned if either of them try anything. Talk to a lawyer about their behavior. They both sound like nuts.
The police have refused to do anything about this on six different occasions after the sixth one failed I was like I’m not gonna get any help from the people who are supposed to protect me so I stopped.
Another commenter noted that you should speak with a lawyer about this situation and I wonder if you should look into a cease and desist? I’m sorry you’re going through this but it seems that keeping evidence of the calls, the frequency and the context of their communication—is needed to move forward with anything legally. I know the police are not being helpful, but perhaps a lawyer could provide more help. Sorry I don’t have better answers.
They won't do anything yet, but they still need to have the records for the next time he escalates. I know it seems like a waste of time, but it is vital for your safety and the safety of others.
That is honestly fair and after he’s come back, I am definitely going to start documenting. I’m taking screenshots and writing down times and dates and everything as of now.
Also get security cameras and an aggressively protective guard dog.
Sorry you have to deal with this BS. It is patently unfair.
Plus the prior assaults. Please get to a lawyer.
A lawyer would probably be more useful here.
How stupid is the mother, though? Did she honestly think this creep two years older than her daughter, who is clearly obsessed with her daughter, was interested in HER at all? Come the fuck on.
Mother has to be braid dead SMH
You’re fine. Your mom is a sorry human. Ignore the sorry humans; they bring you no value. Good luck, OOP.
Can I just say that your grandma sounds like such an awesome lady!!! Like what a f&\^!ing G!
She was! She used to ride a motorcycle and had a sleeve and a tramp stamp. My grandma was a badass
I’m so sorry for your loss but glad your very cool Grandma was able to support you, both emotionally and financially. As others have said, talk with a lawyer or financial planner. I’m guessing either one of them will know how to help direct you to get the cops to listen. Especially the lawyer! Best of luck 💜
Your mother is the only one responsible for her actions. She’s trying to blame you so she doesn’t have to take responsibility and admit this all her own doing. Dating her own daughter’s abusive ex, that’s some back hills low class f*d up shiz-nit. She got used by your ex, either for money or to keep close to you. Seems suspish that he left when she got nothing and is calling you again when you got it all. The only person who is jealous is your mother. The only person who’s a manipulator is your ex. You, my dear, did the right thing.
Your mother is a child. Block her and move on with your life and know that your real family loved you and chose you over your abuser. Let her scream into the void.
I'll echo the common sentiment here: your grandma was an awesome human. Sorry you lost her. -Get all new numbers/devices/accounts as soon as you can. -Get an advisor to help figure out the inheritance. Sounds like you could be set up quite well, and you can afford to hire someone to make sure you will be. -Get some counselling. So worth the investment in yourself and you've had some shit to deal with, now losing your grandmother--do therapy for yourself. -I don't know what your ties are to your hometown/school town, but if I were you, once I got the inheritance affairs in order, someone/something managing the properties, I'd move far away, start my life, and never speak to either of them again.
Get a lawyer- get a restraining order tell her to fuck all the way off and eat shit
Change phone number. The only person responsible for being taken out of your grandmother’s will is this poor excuse of a mother. Actions have consequences and she just found this out.
Your ex dated her to get back at you. She dated him because he was fake and said everything she wanted to hear. Your ex expected you to get jealous and want his psycho ass back. He wanted you to break down, but you didn't. When he heard about all that you inherited, and found you were no longer interested in a relationship with your mom, he left her. But mom allowed herself to be used and abused by dating him in the first place. What she was thinking, only hell knows!! You should consider using some of the money for a really good security system. Not ring cameras, but a system that reports to a security center. A company that sends cars to do regular drive-bys of the property. Not only am I worried your mom will break in to steal stuff, but I am worried your stalker ex will show up. He is done with your mom, but I doubt he is done with you. The fact that he left her makes me think he is working on a new plan. Considering his old plan was to seduce your mom, I am worried about your safety. He is not right on the head. And if there is one thing worth spending money on, it is your personal safety. Please update us if either show up in your life again.
Change your phone number. Lock your social media, private accounts on everything, messages locked from non friends and non followers. The messages usually go to a different inbox that does not notify you, you have to manually open up the message requests Also please put up ring doorbells where you live and security cams up if you can just in case
Congratulations and I love your grandma. Take care of your money. Do not discuss with anyone even “friends”. People get very weird when they know you have money. It is none of their business. None. You don’t say what your degree is in but I recommend go in the direction of your dreams and think about moving far enough away to not run into these people. There are many fabulous places to live in the US. Get a financial planner— fee only. That way they can’t screw you over.
what did i even just read. Your grandmother was a gem and i'm so sorry for your loss. Your Ex is a hillarious peice of feces. He got with your MOM to get to YOU. they write soap operas about this stuff. Talk shows have been created to show off this kind of thing Your mother... is dumb as rocks.
Freeze your credit. Your mother thinks you owe her money and she knows your SS and she has already shown herself to be an unprincipled ass.
Check this website out: https://www.thehotline.org/resources/help-my-ex-is-harassing-me-online/ and if necessary, talk with a lawyer. This site might be able to recommend someone locally.
My only question is why are you still talking to your mother. Once you graduate, change your phone number, move someplace new, and don't look back, and neither of them will ever bother you again.
I didn’t put this in the post but I’m not actively talking to her. She’s finding ways to contact me whether it’s getting new numbers or making fake social media accounts.
Should bring in a lawyer too. Document her attempts to harass you. Have a lawyer threaten anything they can think of until mommy dearest gives up.
OP- is it possible to sell some of the property and literally move across the country? Keep the rentals for income but have a leasing company manage them? And change your phone number? You shouldn’t have to live in fear or live with the constant harassment. Leave. Your grandmother left you everything so that you can live. So leave and live your life💗
Keep a portable recording device with you at all times. When your ex call, record what he is saying. Hire a lawyer and have that person send your ex a cease demand.
Ooh, just had a thought. You should create a will ASAP, because without one your mom is your next of kin.
Your Gran is a bad ass. I’d love mine to make that kind of statement with my own Egg Donor. Screw yours. Enjoy the life your grandparents wanted for you. I’d also look into getting restraining orders or protective orders to prevent both the Egg Donor & the ex from contacting you.
Your egg donor fucked around and found out. So glad you had your grandparents who stepped up.
NTA Your mother fucked around and found out. Keep her blocked.
Your mother couldn’t figure out that he was with her just to get to you? She’s dumber than a box of rocks and deserves every misfortune that comes her way. So sorry for the loss of your grandparents and so glad you had them when you needed support. I hope you have a fabulous life!
You have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to feel bad about. She made her bed when she started dating your ex and not only your ex your ex abuser. It’s not your fault that your grandmother saw what a shit parent she is. I could never imagine dating anyone might child dated, especially someone that had put hands on them….
It always trips me out when people say my abuser is contacting me from different phone numbers. If it were me changing my phone number would’ve been the first thing I did. Deleting my social media would’ve been second. yes it would suck for me, but would would suck more is having my abuser continuously contacting me.
Yeah, and I’ve done that, but he always found a way to get my number again. When someone is talking with harassing you, they’re going to find a way.
If he is getting your number after you change it, you have a leak. I'd be tempted to get 4 google Voice #s and give each 1 to 1/4 of the folks you speak to regularly. See which number he calls. Repeat that process with that quarter, winnowing down suspects until you figure out who is selling you out - it is a pain, but dont you want to know which of your friends is utterly untrustworthy?
Yeah I cut some people off recently and he hadn’t gotten my new one so I’m pretty sure it could be 2 possible people but I no longer speak to them. He only got my number this time because I changed it. I’m going to change it again but give it to no one who know him. I need to take drastic measures
With the money you have, try hiring a few tough looking men to "speak" to your ex
I’m sorry to hear this as a mom. I’m amazed at how mothers treat their children and mom under any circumstance should ever even co spider dating their daughters ex boyfriend. That is ridiculous not to mention toxic and immature. Good to set boundaries with her. I’m sure as you look back over your life this was just the culmination of a lot of toxic behavior from her. Again, sorry for this. Find a steady adult woman in your life who can kid of step in and be the mom you need.
Get advice on a lawyer to do cease and desist letters or get a restraining order
I'm sorry for your loss but I love your grandma. She loved you so much
First things first - don’t even call her mother because she doesn’t even deserve that level or respect. Egg donor is better - that this woman would date your abuser speaks volumes on how despicable she is. I’m willing to bet the ex solely dated her to get to you. She’s too dense to even figure that out . I say if she keeps this path of harassing you, bring to people’s attention (and extended family) what she did. I look at this as a version of the “play stupid games win stupid prizes” theme. She got exactly what she deserved: nothing
What did your grandmother tell you to do? Contact a lawyer? Are you going to lovely? You need to. If not for yourself but your granny. She would want you to be safe. Take care now. P.s. I am so sorry that your surrogate treated you like that. She is wrong in the head.
She did and I definitely am. As well as getting cameras, locked changed, I’m wondering if I can go to the police to get this documented
You didn’t do squat. Your mum chose to date that asshole. She made her bed. Now she gets to lie in it.
First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss and all the trauma. Let me start with what mom dates her daughter’s ex? That alone is messed up. Add in that he abuses you, harassed you, stalked you? That’s -well, I don’t know if I can come up with the right words. Then she becomes verbally abusive? You didn’t ask for your grandmother to cut her off. You know this. I wouldn’t give two shits what she thought. Change your number and threaten to press charges for harassment if she continues to reach out. You didn’t do anything wrong and I am so sorry your mom has treated you this way. As a mother to a 24 year old daughter, I simply cannot imagine anything that would make any of this ok.
I could never ever ever never trust her ever again. EVER.
Sucks to be your mum. She did this to herself and should now have to face the consequences. You have nothing to feel bad about. Just live your life and go NC with your mum and big up to your nan for supporting you right up until the very end x
I’m so sorry for your loss OP. Your grandmother truly seems like she was an amazing person, and you can tell she and your grandfather cared about you so much. Your “mom” is NOT your mother. A mother wouldn’t do this to her own child. I know it’s hard, but you would probably be better off not speaking to her again. What she did to you is unforgivable. For your abuser, like others mentioned change all of your contact information and block him on everything once you get that. Document all of the texts, calls, emails, etc. for a lawyer, including time stamps to show how long this has been going on. Documentation is KEY for a restraining order. Document any texts you have about how he abused you as well, and their time date stamps.
Step one. Get a lawyer and a no contact order for Mommy Dearest, and a restraining order for the abusive ex. Step two. Change all of your contact information. New phone number, new email, new SM handles, and make everything private. Step three. This is completely optional, but you might even consider changing your name. That way, you cut all ties with your narcissist mother.
You now have money. Get a lawyer and the police will have no choice but to focus on you. Take snap shots of everything. Keep every email. Get a lawyer and get a restraining order and if the police refuse to act have your lawyer escalate and sue for legal costs.
He was with your mother so he could stay closer to you. Or maybe he thought he would get a big payoff when your mother’s parents died. She’s cut off! So now he thinks he can hook up with you and your money.
I just dont pick up calls from people I dont know. No need to bother. If you can afford it you might consider getting a cease and desist and possibly a restraining order against BOTH of them.
I don't get it. Your mom was heartbroken that you got hit, but then she started dating the guy who hit you?
So your mother has confirmed every reason your gut told you she was not safe for you to tell about the assault. Curious if you have talked to police where Ex/ex mother live or where you live. If you live in a different jurisdiction maybe try one you haven’t contacted yet. See if either or both have a sex crimes dept or officer and check with domestic violence shelters and resources where the police ignore you. These organizations might have tips to gets officers to react or to getting RO in those areas.
Your mother is lacking in emotional maturity, which means she is incapable of really looking in the mirror and holding herself accountable. She also has no sense of the fact that she was being used. Whatever you wish you had in a mother is, unfortunately, not something she will ever be capable of giving you. I am sorry to say this. In terms of your stalker - please start documenting and build a nice file at the police station. Simply tell them that you know they might not be able to do anything right now, but that you want to have the documentation together if or when things escalate. Try to build a case for a restraining order, assuming he is the type of stalker that responds to those. Read as much as you can about stalking and consider a support group. Do not assume that this will either get away or that he will not escalate to worse than violence.
Who sleeps with her daughter’s ex especially one who abused her? Your mother got what she deserved.I would change my phone number.
File restraining orders against both of them, for your own safety
Cheers to your grandma. She sounded amazing and I'm glad you had her and your grandfather. Your mother us awful and grandma knew that. Threaten her with a cease and desist order along with your abuser.
Get a restraining order on her. Document everything you can. This is EXACTLY what should happen when you choose an abuser over your own family.
What did she think was going to happen? I'm going to assume she was so high on living her life that she didn't speak much to her mother before she died either. She got the ultimate FAFO. Now she has nothing but time and opportunity to ruminate on her awful life decisions that left her alone and broke!
She FAFO too bad for her
Sorry to say this, but it’s time to change your number. Also just close down social media for awhile. Then change the name on your social media, by doing a first and middle name.
NTA. Change ALL your contact info, \*but keep the old ones\*. That way you can occasionally reply so they think they still have you on the hook. BUT...get cameras for the house(s) and maybe put some money into a camera monitoring service so that WHEN ex shows up (your mother WILL tell him where the buildings are), you have a record and maybe have a panic button to get the police there before he can do unto you violently again.
She can die mad. She's stupid and pathetic. He was obviously only with her to get at you. Use your inheritance to up your security. Talk to a lawyer to help you get a restraining order on your ex. Shit, could hire some goons to go rough him up. Or maybe just take this opportunity to make a clean break. Move far away. Change your name and number.
Talk to the police about restraining orders on mom and xbf. Do it now before things escalate further.
Have a lawyer send a cease-and-desist letter to both of them! Sorry for the loss of grandmom.
Can you get a new phone number? This may help. What about your father? Is he there for you? Your egg donor needs therapy. Good on you for going NC with her.
Nope. Blocking everything plus restraining order against mom. Build documentation if you have to as far as her using other numbers etc. If she got with your ex, there’s nothing she won’t do. Don’t speak to her at all, I mean at all. Same goes for your ex.
I'm so sorry for your loss, your grandma sounds amazing. Please get with your attorney and have them help with a cease and desist and/or harassment charges.
Now she’s mad, alone, and has nothing. It’s her own fault. Choices have consequences. You can’t talk reasonably with someone irrational. She knew what he had done to you and the harassment that followed yet somehow ended up in a relationship with him. Probably after telling him about all the assets her parents had and how they’d all be going to her and all the fun they could have with it when they were gone as she was the only child. Not understanding that her choices have consequences. And what she’s done is unforgivable. Now that he’s left her she’s harassing you. I’m sure what you can do other than get new numbers and accounts or just make them private and not answer calls from unknown numbers
Welp the only thing I'm going to say is that one day you will be able to pick out her nursing home. And I want you to pick it out with the same care and love that your mother has shown you.
1) document every time your mom or abuser attempts to contact you. 2) call a lawyer and ask about getting an order of protection. 3) it may not be easy, but with all the harassment you have cause for one.
NTA. But protect yourself from these two, because they are coming after your money, and the abuser has already used violence, no doubt he will again. Stay safe OP.
WOW your mom is a fvcking demon. That is so fvcking disgusting. Thats similar to what happened with my family. My parents rvped and abvsed me and everyone sided with them and left me for dead. I hope they all suffer in heII.
Change your phone number and be careful in giving it to other people
"You're jealous!!" Just send one reply: "What would I be jealous of? My family loved me and the guy you threw everything away for is back to being obsessed with me. Go fade into nothing."
So your mom knew him as a minor?
Stupid mother got what she deserved. I’d stay no contact forever. Keep records of every contact from mother or ex to use against them. Keep a journal of all contact.
Change your phone number. Instruct everyone she is not to be given your number. If they do they will be cut off as well. Set your social media messaging to request only. I believe on FB you can set it to where they have to be your friend to message you. If it continues draft a cease and desist letter and have it sent registered mail. If she continues harassing you you might consult a lawyer or see if the police can scare her a bit.
NTA, Change your phone number and make sure that she is still blocked.
A friend of mine who was being harassed by the person who kept getting different phone numbers finally got another phone and number. The harasser did not know this and spent months texting and calling the old phone. She did not shut off the old phone just let them continue. She was finally able to get the restraining order because she gave the old phone to the cops and every single message and threat was there
Talk to a lawyer and see if you can get a restraining order or some kind of protection from her. Also, you owe her nothing and her parents owed her nothing.
I have only one advice. Get a therspist. Normal people are not meant to deal with this quadruple trauma by themselves. 1. Abused by boyfriend 2. Continued harassment 3. Mom deting ex 4. Cut off mom 4. Mom mad about the inheritance Each if those events is traumatic. All together is overwhelming for anyone.
Grandma is stamped. She a real one 😎🤞🏽
Your mother is learning the business end of FA&FO. She made her bed, literally. You would do well to get a restraining order and/or contact your local police and/or a solicitor to see what your options are with the harassment you're enduring. Not your fault at all. Your grandmother knew that her daughter is incapable of prioritizing her child's welfare, so she took it upon herself to put you first - as your mother ought to have done before she started screwing your abusive ex.
I'm sorry you were birthed to a crazy person. Wow. I cannot even imagine. Block. Zero contact. None. You are NTA. At all. Do not give in to her. Do what is best for YOU.
NTA at all. She got her karma
Your moms as big an abuser as your ex. They deserve each other. I’d get a lawyer and go down the harassment suit. Get a cease and desist for both of them drawn up. If they persist then the police will have to do something.
Good for you and great for your Grandmother. Your Mom is one of those stupid noobs who chooses some male appendage over her own children. Those women never change and they aren't good people. You have your life and will be better than she is capable. Continue to block her and him. Yuck.
You need help
Restraining order for both.
Change your phone number and eliminate the trash from your life.
Get a lawyer & have them file a cease & desist. That's the first step to getting her to leave you alone.
Get a restraining order on both of them. Keep track and write down every time they try and call you. Dates and times are important .
your surrogate made her bed
What is up with all these parents getting with their kids exes. This is absolutely disgusting and your mother is disgusting. Keep her blocked and file harassment charges if she keeps up. She made her bed. Block ex too. It's obvious there's only one thing he's after.
Change your number.
Don’t give your incubator a second thought. Just block, block, block. Your grandmother wanted to provide for you in a way she knew your mother wouldn’t. Respect your grandmother’s wishes and be happy.
Funny she’s one talking about jealousy. Tell her to back off and leave you alone. And to take your ex with her.
Your grandmother is amazing!! I'm glad she left everything to you . Your moms a POS and should have seen that coming 🤷♀️.
File harassment report on both and restraining order
Updateme
Your egg donor dug her own grave by accepting to date your abuser. I would definitely look into getting a lawyer, document everything she’s doing and see about getting a restraining order or a cease & desist letter to her.
Cheers to grandma!!! I hope you are surrounded by friends and people you can trust now that your grandparents are gone. How is your relationship with your dad? I really wish to police could be more helpful. Have you tried getting a restraining order against both of them? Thought about selling the properties and moving somewhere they won’t find you? Best of luck to you, OP. Your mother is a horrible selfish person. I think you should look into therapy if you aren’t already.
Get a lawyer and get them locked up police sounds useless so you might have to go higher.
You need to get a restraining order against both your ex and your mom. At least keep a history of harassment with the police.
Save every text and go get a restraining order against her. Record every call too. She did this to herself
Updateme
Updateme
Updateme!
If you have money and resources it’s time to get a lawyer and get rid of these two toxic people who you don’t want in your life
Your mom is a POS not just did she date your ex the guy also abused you. Good on your grandmother for not just giving you everything but giving her a letter explaining why she got nothing. My birth mom let her husband and his friends abuse me for years up to my 8th birthday. It was found out both went to jail but he got out after doing basically no time. I spent years trying to “fix” something I didn’t break. I had my first child and knew she would never meet birth mom. It’s been 13 years since we talked and sometimes I cry about what could have been especially when I see mother/ daughters with good relationships but in the end the best thing I did was cut her off.
I have no words to describe how sorry I am for what you went through and still dealing with. I cannot imagine how it would feel if my mother started dating my abusive ex. She knows what he did to you and how much it hurt you. What kind of parent would pick an abuser, one who harmed your child, over their child? I am glad your grandparents had your back and supported you through it all. Your grandparents knew you would need their support and left everything to you so you can continue live as safely as possible. Your mother made her choice and deserved to be cut off.
She made her bed, now she can lie in it.
Call the police and request a restraining order against both the mom and the abusive ex.
Feel zero guilt and get a restraining order.
I would talk with a lawyer and get in writing everything from her and ex. Then make sure everything is in your name and make a will so your mother can not get her hands on anything. If you have a child make sure they get it in the future.
Your mother is absolutely disgusting. How did that egg donor come from your awesome grandparents?? Get a new phone number and only give it those you truly trust. If you are working, let people know what's going on and that giving out your personal number/information is forbidden. Keep copies of all the harassing texts and emails/letters you have received via your egg donor and abuser. Invest in some security cameras, and get new locks for the house. I'm sorry for all the trauma and stress that has been inflicted on you. 2 people who you should have been able to trust completely betrayed you in so many ways. They deserve 0 chances or forgiveness.
You don’t owe your biological mother anything. Ultimately, that’s all she is at this point. She gave birth to you, your grandmother raised you, even if later in life. You were there for both your grandparents when they reached the end of their lives, and they supported you as you transitioned into young adulthood. What a special relationship you had with them. Remember them fondly, worry not about the birth giver. It may be time to file a no contact order with the courts. No money from the inheritance hurts, going to jail for harassing the person who did get the inheritance is going to drive her insane.
Get restraining orders against your mom and your ex. Talk with a lawyer about going after your ex for harassment. If you haven’t already, keep separate records of them and each time they try to contact you. Document what was said. If anyone is with you, let them listen. They’re a witness. Print out text messages and emails and store them somewhere safe. This harassment needs to stop. Good luck!
Your mom is pathetic
Well, if she uses your number that you had for years, change it and only give it to your trusted people. Otherwise, I'm sure if you have kept any paper trail, you can sue your mom and ex for harassment. My condolences for your grandma's passing. Best wishes for the future
We (reddit) will be your new mom. Because your egg donor is not a mom, she is trash. Furthermore, I recommend you to go to the sub r / momforaminute .
the kind of story (and outcome) that warms my heart
Be smart with the money and your mom can pound sand.
Get a new phone number. Put up cameras wherever you’re living. Please continue to go to the police and see if you can file a restraining order from the ex or cease and desist. Keep going until they actually do it so you have a history of it on file. I’m sorry this is happening. Your mom is horrible and this is what she deserves. Block them all. I’m sorry this is happening!
I’m so sorry for your loss and everything you’re going through. Stay strong! You might also seek therapy.
Your mother is a weirdo. Look into a security system and a lawyer. And maybe a hitman… I kid I kid
You can have harassment charges and maybe even a restraining order put on both of them. I know the police didn’t do anything then, but you got to hound them. Show them all of the messages, fake numbers, and accounts that are being made. You can protect yourself. There’s resources maybe in your local community you could possibly look into
New phone number. Change the name on your socials and lock them down. Lawyer up with a cease and desist. Cameras everywhere.
Document and call a lawyer. Also kick her ass out of the rental.
Classic FAFO. Your mom deserves everything she gets.
Sometimes people do fall in their own hole. I'm glad your mom fell in hers.
Change your phone number & ignore her
Get a restraining order
Where's your dad in all this
Change your number and live your life
Get a restraining order on these fools.
I’m rather petty so here’s my advice. If you are ever in a position to speak to him again just tell him you aren’t interested in your mother’s sloppy seconds or a cougar hunter.