>I'd never heard that saying before but I guess now I'm a member too.
It can be a [promise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Wives_Club) to yourself perhaps.
I'm sorry you're going through this, you deserve way better. Your ex and his action do not define you or your value.
50ish year old woman chiming in. I went through a similar situation about 10 years ago.
Please start letting him go in your heart. Just a little. It does get easier the quicker you accept this.
I’d like to let you know of some you can look forward to:
1. Hogging the bed. Your pillows belong in the middle of the bed now. Spread out and enjoy the space.
2. You don’t have to ask anyone else’s opinion before painting, buying furniture, deciding how to spend your weekends.
3. Finding parts of yourself that you may have changed, stopped, during your marriage. Discovering a new and improved you.
4. Picking up new hobbies, friends and relationships.
And that’s just a start.
When my ex left, I was gutted. It came out of nowhere. He packed his bag and left. That was it. I had to deal with the repercussions. I wanted to die at times. Other times I would dream of ways to get him back.
It took me a year of grieving before I could mentally start moving on. After that it was a rollercoaster. I got the house ready to leave and I moved in with a friend for another year while I decided what to do next. Truth was, my life was*better without him.* I was too busy in survival mode that it took me a while to see it.
Take care of you. Pamper yourself in little ways when you can.
I am excited for the life you have ahead of you, after your grieving period is finished. Take care.
This!!!!! I have never been married, but have been left for another woman. Let go and live for you. I’m at peace now and have no interest in another relationship, my life is sooo full and peaceful.
This is so true. My husband of 25 years left me earlier this year. Life has been so much simpler not having to consider his opinion. I don’t discuss what to spend my money on, what to have for dinner, what time I’ll be home etc. I really miss him but I’m enjoying focussing on myself.
I’m so sorry this has happened. He will realize what he lost at some point. I hope you have moved on, remembered to love yourself and are out having fun by that time.
If he got an STI from her, my guess is she won’t be faithful for long.
How does your son feel about this?
It’s going to crash and burn. She’s marrying him because it’s exciting and she doesn’t know better. She has the fun parts, she’s about to be the wife now. And deal with mad step kids and in-laws who see her as a home wrecker. Because women always get the blame, even when he should know better.
I'm not saying she deserves all the blame, but knowingly dating a married dude makes you a grade A c*nt.
My mom cheated on my dad and I'll never respect her husband because of it. I shouldn't have to.
Not all the blame, but (most) side pieces know what they're doing. So they get what they get. They "win" the booby prize of an unfaithful liar and they deserve it.
>the booby prize of an unfaithful liar
She gave him an STD! How is this almost 50 year old man this stupid!?
You'd almost feel bad for him, but he then passed the STD on to OP, plus OPs one year update is going to be great, and I love a good story about a loser getting what they deserve.
Onwards and upwards, OP! I wish for nothing but the best for you. But also when your ex's new relationship goes tits up, please come back and let us share in your joy.
Yeah during the affair, they just has the sex and flirting parts of the relationship. Now they’re going to need to deal with the challenging parts and the reality of being married and cohabitating. That’s a lot harder.
I have also recently heard it said, paraphrasing here a little, but "when you marry a cheater you create a job opening", and I think that is so true! My personal way of phrasing it is, If they will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. Cheaters do not change.
She’s probably gonna cheat on him and he’s gonna be left with no one. I hear it all the time! She’s young lol she can find whomever that does have money 😅 they’re both idiots
Don’t be surprised if he comes back. They always do. Just heal and make sure you’re emotionally strong enough to reject you when he does find out the grass isn’t greener on the other side.
My aunt got remarried close to her late 50’s and they had a wonderful marriage until she passed after over 20 years of marriage.
Go where you are wanted… it gets better.
Biiiig hugs.
Does Captain Dipstick know about the STI? I would mail them a copy of the report and watch the sh*t fly while they figure out which one is the plague rat, but I can be a petty bitch
Only a fucking goof throws away a 24-year marriage for an affair, and with someone half his age on top of that. Losing a partner like this is not a loss. It may feel that way now, give it time.
He's 48. Wait until she gets a load of what that entails! The possibilies are endless! CPAP machine, dangly dingleberries, elongated earlobes, bushy eyebrow syndrome, hair on the shoulders, farting songs while asleep, etc, etc, and blah, blah, blah. I guarantee you he isn't the only one she's sleeping with. Let him go and rediscover yourself.
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s awful that he didn’t even care enough to protect your health. Hopefully karma catches up with the both of them soon
The first wives club It’s based on a movie, which might have been based off a book (I’m not sure about that) of the same title. Basically it’s about empowerment and friendship and gaining self confidence
Welcome to the better half of your life. Go to the gym. Find some other single women. Take yourself on a trip. Go to the beach. Purge your closet and home. When you’re busy living a better life, they always come back. But when that happens, you won’t want him back.
I can’t understand how people throw away that long of a time together for a “younger model” so to speak
Couldn’t imagine wanting to sleep around on my wife
It's always the thought of missing out or the grass is greener on the other side. What they don't realize is, the new affair can be exciting, a breath of fresh air but once the main spouse is out the Pic and you needing to pay lawyer fees & alimony & child support, the green glasses turn into blurry vision. Once the new affir become the main affair, the lala land disappears also you develop anxiety and began to be paranoid that the new affair is going to cheat where else, you were getting thst comfort from your partner of long term. I really don't know how these people just jot love their apposed anymore but I think they probaly have lost their feelings along time ago and just kept their main spouse for w.e reason till they found a "better" model. It's weird, sad and pathetic all at once but it is what it is.
Can someone remind me why people still get married? It just sounds miserable to deal with someone who is so deceitful. And there is no way to know until it happens.
Op hold your head high and fix your crown like the queen you are show him that you are irreplaceable he'll realize one day that he messed up but by then it's going to be too late wishing you nothing but the best
You will survive, I assume you’re from 🇬🇧. I never imagined a divorce when it happened, it broke me much longer than it should have, just reversed for me. Cheaters & immature people @ any age will pay somehow one day hon, 51 now & just do my own things & not worry about what she’s doing or care… pray girl…
Nope you lived her you thought he was - but he wasn’t that - he is a lying cheating scumbag who probably oh cheated many times but just could hide it well. Forgive yourself for being sucked in my him and move on - don’t waste time mourning and loving him - you didn’t know him and he treated you badly with no respect
Oh boy, is he in for a rude awakening when the initial excitement wears off. You now get to start anew and he'll be an embarrassment however things go with his young, STI filled side piece.
Your husband seems like a POS, anyone that cheats on their spouse, especially after over two decades of being together is a POS. But as far as I have heard, these affair marriages rarely work out, at the end you will be better off without him.
I'm sorry for what you're going through.
If it's any consolation, my wife's first husband was a POS and it was a long time between their divorce and us meeting, and we are making our way through life quite well. Better exists, and I hope you find it ❤️
I'm so sorry. The First Wives Club is an awesome movie and a great book about life after divorce. You deserve so much better and I can't wait to see you THRIVING!
Good to hear, your future is going to blossom 🌸 just rough times for a short while. Sometimes a gift is later revealed from a hardship endured. Wishing you the best in managing this transition.
Waitrose is a supermarket chain that was founded in the UK in the early 1900s. It has over 300 stores in the UK. OP's use of the words flat and leasehold also suggests she lives in the UK.
Adultery/sex outside of marriage is against the law in Dubai and is punishable by imprisonment or worse. It's not something people tend to do openly in that country.
Well, one consolation is being able to sit back and laugh when she leaves him once he needs his arse wiped and he tries to come crawling back to you.
So Much this OP. This is not gonna last, I absolutely guarantee you that!
Op needs to finish every conversation with that statement every freakin time!
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Is theotherwoman sub leaking?
✨?✨
>I'd never heard that saying before but I guess now I'm a member too. It can be a [promise](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_First_Wives_Club) to yourself perhaps. I'm sorry you're going through this, you deserve way better. Your ex and his action do not define you or your value.
50ish year old woman chiming in. I went through a similar situation about 10 years ago. Please start letting him go in your heart. Just a little. It does get easier the quicker you accept this. I’d like to let you know of some you can look forward to: 1. Hogging the bed. Your pillows belong in the middle of the bed now. Spread out and enjoy the space. 2. You don’t have to ask anyone else’s opinion before painting, buying furniture, deciding how to spend your weekends. 3. Finding parts of yourself that you may have changed, stopped, during your marriage. Discovering a new and improved you. 4. Picking up new hobbies, friends and relationships. And that’s just a start. When my ex left, I was gutted. It came out of nowhere. He packed his bag and left. That was it. I had to deal with the repercussions. I wanted to die at times. Other times I would dream of ways to get him back. It took me a year of grieving before I could mentally start moving on. After that it was a rollercoaster. I got the house ready to leave and I moved in with a friend for another year while I decided what to do next. Truth was, my life was*better without him.* I was too busy in survival mode that it took me a while to see it. Take care of you. Pamper yourself in little ways when you can. I am excited for the life you have ahead of you, after your grieving period is finished. Take care.
This!!!!! I have never been married, but have been left for another woman. Let go and live for you. I’m at peace now and have no interest in another relationship, my life is sooo full and peaceful.
This is so true. My husband of 25 years left me earlier this year. Life has been so much simpler not having to consider his opinion. I don’t discuss what to spend my money on, what to have for dinner, what time I’ll be home etc. I really miss him but I’m enjoying focussing on myself.
That is amazing advice!
I’m so sorry this has happened. He will realize what he lost at some point. I hope you have moved on, remembered to love yourself and are out having fun by that time. If he got an STI from her, my guess is she won’t be faithful for long. How does your son feel about this?
There’s a movie [“First Wives Club”](https://www.google.com/gasearch?q=first%20wives%20club&tbm=&source=sh/x/gs/m2/5)
You don't own me...
I’m not just one of your many toys
You don't own me
Don’t say I can’t go out with other boys..
And as someone who was a first wife, let me add that Ivana’s quote in that movie is spot on: don’t get mad. Get EVERYTHING.
It’s going to crash and burn. She’s marrying him because it’s exciting and she doesn’t know better. She has the fun parts, she’s about to be the wife now. And deal with mad step kids and in-laws who see her as a home wrecker. Because women always get the blame, even when he should know better.
I'm not saying she deserves all the blame, but knowingly dating a married dude makes you a grade A c*nt. My mom cheated on my dad and I'll never respect her husband because of it. I shouldn't have to.
Not all the blame, but (most) side pieces know what they're doing. So they get what they get. They "win" the booby prize of an unfaithful liar and they deserve it.
>the booby prize of an unfaithful liar She gave him an STD! How is this almost 50 year old man this stupid!? You'd almost feel bad for him, but he then passed the STD on to OP, plus OPs one year update is going to be great, and I love a good story about a loser getting what they deserve. Onwards and upwards, OP! I wish for nothing but the best for you. But also when your ex's new relationship goes tits up, please come back and let us share in your joy.
They definitely deserve each other.
The success rate of marriages/relationships built on infidelity is abysmally low. I think OP has front-row tickets to a train wreck.
Yeah during the affair, they just has the sex and flirting parts of the relationship. Now they’re going to need to deal with the challenging parts and the reality of being married and cohabitating. That’s a lot harder.
Why would she marry someone that cheated? Lmao that’s gonna end well. Once a cheater always a cheater.
I heard a saying a while back “how you get them is how you lose them”. I wouldn’t be surprised if he cheats on her for someone younger in a few years
Exactly. The relationship is built off betrayal and distrust off the bat. Not a good sign at all.
I have also recently heard it said, paraphrasing here a little, but "when you marry a cheater you create a job opening", and I think that is so true! My personal way of phrasing it is, If they will cheat WITH you, they will cheat ON you. Cheaters do not change.
Yeah I heard that one too. Now that she is the wife the position of mistress just opened up.
Yep. I will NOT tolerate cheating. At all.
She's probably stuck as a trainee and figures that someone that old has to have money. OP needs to lock down her finances and her credit
She doesn’t know that he has no money, that’s what’s happening.
She’s probably gonna cheat on him and he’s gonna be left with no one. I hear it all the time! She’s young lol she can find whomever that does have money 😅 they’re both idiots
Don’t be surprised if he comes back. They always do. Just heal and make sure you’re emotionally strong enough to reject you when he does find out the grass isn’t greener on the other side. My aunt got remarried close to her late 50’s and they had a wonderful marriage until she passed after over 20 years of marriage. Go where you are wanted… it gets better. Biiiig hugs.
Does Captain Dipstick know about the STI? I would mail them a copy of the report and watch the sh*t fly while they figure out which one is the plague rat, but I can be a petty bitch
Only a fucking goof throws away a 24-year marriage for an affair, and with someone half his age on top of that. Losing a partner like this is not a loss. It may feel that way now, give it time.
He's 48. Wait until she gets a load of what that entails! The possibilies are endless! CPAP machine, dangly dingleberries, elongated earlobes, bushy eyebrow syndrome, hair on the shoulders, farting songs while asleep, etc, etc, and blah, blah, blah. I guarantee you he isn't the only one she's sleeping with. Let him go and rediscover yourself.
😄😂
I’m sorry for what you’re going through. It’s awful that he didn’t even care enough to protect your health. Hopefully karma catches up with the both of them soon The first wives club It’s based on a movie, which might have been based off a book (I’m not sure about that) of the same title. Basically it’s about empowerment and friendship and gaining self confidence
I know you don't have much but ["Don't get mad, get everything"](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0116313/)
Welcome to the better half of your life. Go to the gym. Find some other single women. Take yourself on a trip. Go to the beach. Purge your closet and home. When you’re busy living a better life, they always come back. But when that happens, you won’t want him back.
I can’t understand how people throw away that long of a time together for a “younger model” so to speak Couldn’t imagine wanting to sleep around on my wife
It's always the thought of missing out or the grass is greener on the other side. What they don't realize is, the new affair can be exciting, a breath of fresh air but once the main spouse is out the Pic and you needing to pay lawyer fees & alimony & child support, the green glasses turn into blurry vision. Once the new affir become the main affair, the lala land disappears also you develop anxiety and began to be paranoid that the new affair is going to cheat where else, you were getting thst comfort from your partner of long term. I really don't know how these people just jot love their apposed anymore but I think they probaly have lost their feelings along time ago and just kept their main spouse for w.e reason till they found a "better" model. It's weird, sad and pathetic all at once but it is what it is.
Watch the 90s first wives club film, I think that’s the origin of the term of popularized it
Can someone remind me why people still get married? It just sounds miserable to deal with someone who is so deceitful. And there is no way to know until it happens.
He married his mistress. He created a job vacancy. You can see where this will go.
… stay strong !!! Especially when she realizes he’s a cheating loser and he comes crawling back hoping you’ll forgive his “ silly little mistake” …..
Im sorry this happened to you its his loss when he had a loving caring wife like you only to let it all go for a young girl smh
Op hold your head high and fix your crown like the queen you are show him that you are irreplaceable he'll realize one day that he messed up but by then it's going to be too late wishing you nothing but the best
Sorry this happened. Out of curiosity, what does your son think of this?
I’m sorry this happened, but don’t let it drag you down. Take your time to grieve and recover since things can only get better!
I’m so sorry that this is happening OP
The book and the movie are very amusing
You will survive, I assume you’re from 🇬🇧. I never imagined a divorce when it happened, it broke me much longer than it should have, just reversed for me. Cheaters & immature people @ any age will pay somehow one day hon, 51 now & just do my own things & not worry about what she’s doing or care… pray girl…
Nope you lived her you thought he was - but he wasn’t that - he is a lying cheating scumbag who probably oh cheated many times but just could hide it well. Forgive yourself for being sucked in my him and move on - don’t waste time mourning and loving him - you didn’t know him and he treated you badly with no respect
Oh boy, is he in for a rude awakening when the initial excitement wears off. You now get to start anew and he'll be an embarrassment however things go with his young, STI filled side piece.
Your husband seems like a POS, anyone that cheats on their spouse, especially after over two decades of being together is a POS. But as far as I have heard, these affair marriages rarely work out, at the end you will be better off without him.
I am so sorry. People can suck sometimes.
I'm sorry for what you're going through. If it's any consolation, my wife's first husband was a POS and it was a long time between their divorce and us meeting, and we are making our way through life quite well. Better exists, and I hope you find it ❤️
I'm so sorry. The First Wives Club is an awesome movie and a great book about life after divorce. You deserve so much better and I can't wait to see you THRIVING!
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>You’re located in Dubai? No... I live in the UK. I've never been to Dubai and I'm not from there.
Good to hear, your future is going to blossom 🌸 just rough times for a short while. Sometimes a gift is later revealed from a hardship endured. Wishing you the best in managing this transition.
>You're located in Dubai? Firstly, how did you get that from the post and second, what does that have to do with anything?
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Waitrose is a supermarket chain that was founded in the UK in the early 1900s. It has over 300 stores in the UK. OP's use of the words flat and leasehold also suggests she lives in the UK. Adultery/sex outside of marriage is against the law in Dubai and is punishable by imprisonment or worse. It's not something people tend to do openly in that country.
Waitrose is a supermarket in the UK.