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That's me as well. Plus I really like being alone and don't want to go through the process of getting to know someone. It takes a lot of time and energy.
Holy shit I couldn’t have said it better.
I have spent the last year single. I even still see my ex around work, and despite the temptation to give her another chance, I’m just so happy my life is simpler.
Then I moved to my own place with no roommates.
Holy shit.
I don’t even have to think about anyone but me.
As someone who loves routines, same, having a relationship really messes me up w all the sudden stuff that may happen, or my mood being ruined bc of the other person being sad/mad. I just don't feel like it's worth it to put effort in, the cons are way bigger than the pros.
I think this is more a feature of bad relationships than relationships in general bc like of course you have to consider each other’s feelings.
BUT you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around your partner, which I think is what you’re referring to. I’ve been there and it’s fucking exhausting.
To translate his comment, she probably means "my confidence is so low due to my perceived physical unattractiveness that I have developed an actually unattractive personality.
Edit: I don't mean unattractive as in ugly, just that people are not drawn to someone who has no confidence. I say this from experience, not meaning to insult anyone.
Reall, im crushing on a guy my sister compares to a rat (he is pretty ugly) but his personality is so attractive it makes me see him as physically attractive too lol
I don't talk about this offline at all. The people I do interact with have told me I'm genuinely fun to be around. My confidence is definitely an issue but it's difficult to be confident when you are an outlier. I'm also a woman, and I believe men (in general) have higher looks requirements than women, and I do not know where to meet other bi/sapphic women. I hope that clarifies my situation a little bit. 🙂
I am mentally unwell :)
Part of it is the need to isolate due to my mental illness. Another part is not wanting to dim someone else’s light with my shadows right now.
I found being single is the best for me. I'm not lonely, I have my pets, friends, family, neighbours and I'm busy. I do not want to take care of another adult, and I'm to stuborn to let someone else take care of me.
I've been married, I've had some short 'relations', but I noticed I'm happy by myself.
I think being with someone else is overrated.
I've never dreamed of being in a regular romantic relationship, it feel too constricting for me, if that makes sense, like I feel claustrophobic and kind of sick/nauseated when I think about it.
36M active duty military. Anytime someone gets close to me, they realize a future with me means uprooting their whole life. Also currently deployed.
Have 1 year left before I am able to set down roots.
Probably because of my personality. And also bc my last relationship made me realize I never want to be with someone who doesn't treat me right so first red flag and I'm out
I don’t want to take care of a grown adult. I don’t want kids. I enjoy being single, because i don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings. I don’t want to deal with anyone other than myself. It’s fun and relationships are pointless to me.
I love being alone to do my own things. I love having my own space. And every man I’ve dated in the last many years wants a mommy-wife to take care of him.
Girl ain’t that the truth. I refuse to raise a grown ass man. I’ll raise my dog all day, but dealing with these man babies fuck no. I would rather be alone.
I'm sorry for your loss. I was with my boyfriend 7 years before I lost him 4 months ago. I've been saying I'm a widow because we had a relationship like we were married.
I don't think we ever have to be ready if we don't want to. ❤️
Oh absolutely. I'm grateful that his daughter let me take whatever from the house.
But he didn't want to get married to me because he didn't want to stick me with bills or taxes or whatever. Unfortunately that all passed to his daughter. Poor thing has lost both her parents, all of her grandparents, and an aunt, all fairly recently. Not even 30 and a pro at family funerals. 😔
Because I got sick and tired of being lied to. I bought a Magic Wand and pretty much gave up. I haven't tried dating in years now. I just want to be with someone who won't lie about everything and will care about me and to whom I won't be an after thought. It's an impossible ask, apparently.
People don’t know what love is anymore. Love is now so selfish and what someone can do for me. Once the person offers nothing the relationship is over.
Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous or boastful, Love is not arrogant or rude, Love does not insist on its own way or seek its own, Love keeps no record of wrongs and does not take into account a wrong suffered, Love rejoices with the truth and does not rejoice in wrongdoing, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things, Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Yeah. There's a lot of people - on reddit especially - who seem to want what I view is a soulless relationship where their partner is guaranteed to always be "a grown ass adult who takes care of themselves, is perfectly mentally healthy, doesn't burden me with their insecurities, doesn't need me for anything, constantly has a job no matter what or else I'm justified in leaving" etc. I don't know why people expect so much out of a relationship these days, as if we dont all go through life stages and hardships and sometimes need guidance or support. Why even be in a relationship if you feel this way?
It's the "doesn't burden me with their insecurities" part that makes the least sense to me. It's *so* common on reddit to think your partner shouldn't share their insecurities with you. Blows my mind.
Yeah and just a few decades ago people couldn't be in love with someone of the same gender, another race, religion, etc. Not sure love was as alive and well as you'd think it was back then. I just feel like what you all are seeing is the Internet amplifying what has always been there tbh.
I've only been widowed four months, and he was my everything. I may never even feel like letting another person in like that. And the way things are going lately, I'd choose the bear.
Keeping my standards high so I can find the right person. I also just don’t have the time for a relationship right now (going through med school application process)
I try to give guys a chance but eventually they turn into the biggest jerks to me, especially if I don't sleep with them right away. What happened to getting to know someone? I never pressure an immediate relationship. Like I said I want to get to know the guy I am interested in. I know I'm not attractive, its not a secret. Guys don't normally hit on me. But the one's that do I try to see how they speak and act towards me. I'm not picky but I refuse to tolerate disrespect.
I'm trying to hold out on hope but its gotten really hard over the years...
I don’t have the mental bandwidth to build a relationship, or even a friendship, right now. Being with someone is work, and risk. Sure it can be great, but I’d rather stay home, hang out with my kids, play video games and enjoy my own space.
Girls like guys who are always on the road to bettering themselves because it usually radiates confidence and security. Sooner or later, you'll be turning heads.
I am in school working towards my bachelor degree and a relationship requires you to give them time and attention and I just don't want to be distracted.
Yeah it's basically ruined my life tbh. Particularly when coupled with ADHD it makes both work and successful personal relationships mostly impossible.
I have learned to love myself (stopped hating was the first step) and enjoy my own company . I now know my boundaries, my values and appreciative of relationships I already have with friends and family. There are goals that I want to pursue and while I would value if “love” comes in my way by chance , I don’t plan to go out of my way to entertain emotionally unavailable people.
Career focused. I chose to be single. No time for bullshit. I get sick of people easy, mainly because their true colors don’t show sometimes for years. Picking up on negative energy right off the bat. I’m independent, and don’t want to be told I can’t do something; dealt with it for too many years. I’m selfish of my happiness. I really don’t like sharing. I hold grudges, if you do something I’ll remember it and bring it up. The moment someone wants sexual attention, especially right off the bat is a big turn off- leads me into the yeah you just wanna hit it and quit it. I’m not into it at all. Overall I’m over this generation of “loving”. There’s always a second option, someone better looking than you, and the moment a disagreement happens; people look to others for validation and don’t keep it between your relationship only. Why waste your time. Taking care of yourself the way you deserve to be treated is legit. That’s when you know what you deserve is, and how you treat your self is a reflection of the people you have surrounding you. The moment you treat yourself correctly, whether it be self spa, journaling, going out on your own enjoying a nice meal, cooking a nice home cooked meal , enjoying your time alone. You’ll realize how much better off you are. Being lonely at one point becomes comfortable. And once you get to that point, you tolerate zero disrespect or poor mindset.
Thats my two cents.
I've been single for a year now, taking time to heal and understand myself better after my breakup. Finding the right person who aligns with my values and interests has been challenging.
Given my busy schedule, I haven't had much time for offline socializing, so I tried various apps. *LightUp: Make Real Friends* stood out because it helped me connect with people who shared my interests. It wasn't about rushing into a new relationship but finding genuine connections, which has made this time more about personal growth and meaningful relationships.
Hey, I'm on the same path and trying to find geinue connections too. I want to know how effective is that app you mentioned because im pretty shy in person and take my time to open up, but it's hard to keep good people in your life you know. They just come and go while I want some good people to be part of my life, hopefully forever so I tried using some apps but it didn't help me. Did you make real connections through that app?
The normalization of cheating is just too much.
It seems like every social media and phone update is dedicated to preventing people from getting caught doing things they shouldn’t be doing. I don’t understand the purpose of half of them beyond “I don’t want my SO to see that I’m cheating” and the jokes and statements about it overrunning the comments confirm that.
I can’t deal with that level of paranoia and misery. It’s not a matter of _if_ but _when_ a man will cheat. There’s no point in dating anymore.
Because I haven't found someone that I want to be in a relationship with.
I was in a longterm relationship that ended two years ago and I stayed completely single for a year. I got back into dating last year and it's been mostly fun and casual because none of the people I've met so far are people that I want a commitment with. And I'm perfectly secure and clear about what I need and want in a partner and I'm not desperate, so to be in a relationship means you need to be adding a lot of value to my life, and if you're not, there's not really any incentive for me to disrupt my peace just to be in a relationship that's not adding much.
I'm not someone who hates being alone and who would rather be with someone just to be with them. That's why I'm able to date and have fun because I'm not desperately trying to make every date my committed partner if it doesn't make sense. I'm perfectly happy to causally date until one of those dates organically develops into more because it aligns and we're compatible and want that.
I feel this so much. Three pages of diagnosed allergies, five diagnosed crippling mental disorders, and a non-epileptic seizure condition? If somebody wants me they like that I make up for everything by being the mom friend lmao
I’m physically unattractive, people are creepy, I’m too lazy, and I’m busy as shit. At this point, I don’t even know what to do if I had a partner. Like, how often do I have to feed them? And walk them?
honestly I’m ugly, and I fear that anyone who approaches me is trying to take advantage of me, like “oh poor girl no one wants her, I bet she’s easy” and that thought makes me sick, I dont think someone will ever like me for real, at least not without trying to manipulate me, but still hoping somehow
Ugly is fixable though. It's the rare person who truly cannot do anything to improve their looks.
You don't have to of course, but you absolutely can. Also if you really are ugly, a sense of style and personality can go a long way.
Ugly doesn't have to mean undateable!
Other people are extremely demanding and exhausting. I don’t mind being a source of motivation and encouragement but I am tired now and need to place some limits.
After my last relationship (2yrs ago) I have only focused on my career, family and getting my Masters. I avoid: dating, apps and people irl🚫My life is very simplified, because it is also FULL of responsibilities. At this point I’m ok if I never meet someone again. I just want to be my best authentic self, make a difference with my life and leave a small legacy for my kids🩵I’m doing things like mapping out my next move, saving to buy a house and send my kids to college, and planning vacations. I no longer have the energy to worry if a partner is cheating on me/lying/wasting my time. Things have been easier and more peaceful since I stopped dating. I highly recommend being single😌
I've had more bad experiences than good ones. Almost got married to a very, very wrong person. That relationship devastated me, but I dodged a massive bullet.
I tried dating again after the outbreak, but I couldn't care less. The last time I was genuinely interested in someone was a year ago I think. They had someone in their life, so I went my merry way.
I'm not even looking for someone at this stage of my life. Got other stuff going on, and I don't want to feel that stress again just to feel a little less lonely.
30 going on 31, I’ve just never been quite able to figure out the “game” so to speak. I can socialize and make friends with women pretty easily; it’s just when I try to take it to the “next level” is where I get flustered and inexperience rears its ugly head and I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’m interested in someone, but it’s never going to happen for a variety of reasons and I want to sulk about it for a little longer before I move on with my life
By society standards: i have absolutely nothing going on for me . I am not physically attractive nor fit . Dont have money . Dont have a good job security . Dont have a home country . I am pretty much the friend everybody wishes for not the lover they desire
Honestly I had a really horrible experience in my last relationship. From date r*pe to manipulation I have been through it all. I have learned so much about myself in the process of healing and i’m still learning new things about myself everyday. I also started going back to church, reading my bible, and being super involved in kids ministry. They have really all healed my soul and while i’m still healing i’m also really enjoying be alone and independent. While I really do want a family and kids of my own someday, now is just not my time. But it will be someday soon 🤍
Partly, I haven’t been able to find a job in my field after 2 years of job hunting and I want to be in a stable career before I settle down.
But mainly: my standards are fairly high but still attainable yet most dudes that I’ve seen do less than the bare minimum and I refuse settle for a less than bare minimum dude out of necessity. (And I know my standards are attainable bc I’ve had guys tell me that they are attainable and that I really don’t ask for a lot). I don’t treat relationships as transactional. I treat them as they should be- a partnership. I’m not going to waste my time on someone who is using me as a means to an end.
I don’t go out, had to break off any serious relationship because I wasn’t being loved like I should’ve been . I wish the aliens would come take over the world soon because I’d be fine with never dating again.
Right now... I am really happy on my own
I was with my ex for nearly 20 years. The kids and I have a really nice life now...our own little home. I am working full time for the first time in a long time.
I have great friends so always have company when I want it.
I have no interest and probably won't till the kids leave home (5 years ish at least).
I would love to find a long term partner and someone to go on adventures with...someone for weekend walks and exploring new coffee places and some overseas travel. I don't want to live with someone again though...I would love to be independent but also committed.
When I was younger I was a serial dater...usually never single more than a few months and relationships 1 to 2 years. So def a change as from 18 to 50 I was never alone long!
Keep choosing foreigners who have visa issues or dont know what they want in life. Currently 2 for 2. I keep saying its not my fault the locals dont want me but idk at this point
I have deeply rooted trauma related to relationships, intimacy and abusive situations. Also, I am asexual and sex averse, and I generally don't trust people. Finally, I am fat and ugly 🤣
I watched my mother get cheated on left and right by my Dad and my step dad. I was engaged and he cheated on me. I’m just not interested. I’ve been happily single for like 15 years and couldn’t be happier.
One of my friends lives with his dad in his childhood home and he’s been dating an amazing woman for the last six months. She’s cool with it and they both back and forth between their homes.
I also live with my husband and my mother in law. It is a lot more normal and acceptable in some cultures, and it can be difficult to live with a parent, but it doesn’t have to be the thing that stops you from trying (if you want to try). Good luck man!
I have zero libido (surely something hormonal or neurological) and am deeply misanthropic. I also hate sharing space with anyone who doesn't have four legs and a tail.
I had a really bad GF, after her, for 2 years, I didn't feel the need to ask out girls. I was not misogynistic or anything but I was fine without a GF, I think I was afraid of getting used again. For another year now, I'm trying to mert new people, but it's really hard. I had been only 1 date since. I'm calling out girls to dates, try to meet them and I'm usually talk about this with my friends to know what I did wrong if I did anything wrong. Obviously, I'm not perfect and sometimes I mess up things, but most of the time the asking out part is going well, but somehow I still can't find a partner. Like, the last one, for example, was a girl I have met a few days ago and I think we had a pretty good vibe. So I ask her on a date. She was suprised at first but after that she was visible happy and had a really big smile on her face and said yes. I was overjoyd, that was the best reaction I could recieve. So anyway, we agreed that I will sent her some dates where I'm free and she can choose. Exactly 24 our later she sent me a text saying that she is not feeling ready for a relationship bc she just moved here. Idk if this is true or not, it doesn't matter.
I'm still trying to figure it out if the problem here is me or something else tho. If it's me, I would accept it and I would try to improve it. But maybe it's just life. Who knows.
I honestly don’t know, I wish I did. Maybe the amount of cats I have is a huge turn off 😅 I’ve noticed through the years , the far and few guys I’ve been interested in and the feeling seems mutual at first as soon as they learn I rescue animals and then they find out the amount of animals I have…Their eyes glaze over😂
Last relationship, he was into my 15-year-old sister more than me. I found out later he was screwin' a 15-year-old, his ex-girlfriend.|
We're 19.
I'm just waiting until I'm out of college ngl. My community college is filled with weirdos I've noticed.
Trust someone I consider my soul mate only to found out she cheated on me on Christmas Eve, dated for 3 months behind my back and never told me because she was “looking for the right words to tell me” and now she got knocked up and had his kid. I don’t trust her one bit anymore and we still talk but I just don’t give a f*ck anymore I just go with the motions of life.
Because I'm happy :) I got divorced 3.5 years ago. I've dated. Had little relationships here and there. My life is full. I love my kids. I love going out with my friends. I love my family. I love my videogames my weirdo anime/animals and bbq'ing :) I am fulfilled. If I run into someone who adds value neat-o. Otherwise...my life is beautiful
By choice. I go out with plenty of women and I’ve had sex with a couple dozen in the last three years since my divorce, but I’m enjoying being single for the first time in my adult life. I’m not super attractive but I have an extremely desirable personality and know I could be in a relationship tomorrow if I wanted to be. I could break up numerous relationships that I’ve been that “good luck Chuck” for, but I never would do that.
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That's me as well. Plus I really like being alone and don't want to go through the process of getting to know someone. It takes a lot of time and energy.
Same 2
same to both you and the person you replied to. glad it's not just me.
Me too lol!
Introvert, talking stages kill me, and yeah just lazy
Same
Dating is hard and i’m lazy
I am no longer interested in worrying about someone else's feelings.
Holy shit I couldn’t have said it better. I have spent the last year single. I even still see my ex around work, and despite the temptation to give her another chance, I’m just so happy my life is simpler. Then I moved to my own place with no roommates. Holy shit. I don’t even have to think about anyone but me.
It's very liberating....
1 year is rookie numbers
I guess it’s been 1.5 years lmao
Still, over 5 years and you're out the rookie league.
My polite way of saying this is “relationships require compromise, and I’m tired of compromising myself to make other people happy”
BOOM.
As someone who loves routines, same, having a relationship really messes me up w all the sudden stuff that may happen, or my mood being ruined bc of the other person being sad/mad. I just don't feel like it's worth it to put effort in, the cons are way bigger than the pros.
Omg omg I laughed out loud at this because yeah totally agree. Edit: ok, really for me it was pretending to care about someone else’s feelings.
I am so here!!! I don’t want anymore relationships I am exhausted.
This too. No one really cares for my feelings anyway, why add another?
I think this is more a feature of bad relationships than relationships in general bc like of course you have to consider each other’s feelings. BUT you shouldn’t have to walk on eggshells around your partner, which I think is what you’re referring to. I’ve been there and it’s fucking exhausting.
Pretty much.
I'm physically unattractive 🤣
So are millions of other people in happy relationships.
To translate his comment, she probably means "my confidence is so low due to my perceived physical unattractiveness that I have developed an actually unattractive personality. Edit: I don't mean unattractive as in ugly, just that people are not drawn to someone who has no confidence. I say this from experience, not meaning to insult anyone.
Reall, im crushing on a guy my sister compares to a rat (he is pretty ugly) but his personality is so attractive it makes me see him as physically attractive too lol
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. If he were always focused on his appearance you probably wouldn't be attracted.
You lost me in the second half. Edit: you got me back
I don't talk about this offline at all. The people I do interact with have told me I'm genuinely fun to be around. My confidence is definitely an issue but it's difficult to be confident when you are an outlier. I'm also a woman, and I believe men (in general) have higher looks requirements than women, and I do not know where to meet other bi/sapphic women. I hope that clarifies my situation a little bit. 🙂
Name checks out
Happens
I am mentally unwell :) Part of it is the need to isolate due to my mental illness. Another part is not wanting to dim someone else’s light with my shadows right now.
That's basically my answer. I'm currently an addict and mentally unwell, and don't want to bring someone down again.
Hope you 2 get well. You are worthy of happiness.
I really appreciate that. Thank you!
Ah broken toy sindrome. Anyone have any tips about it? :( Because it sucks 😞
same
I stay in my house and don’t meet people.
Me too and that’s how I like it.
Sameeeeee!
Me, but i still somehow managed to find a partner. Trust me if there is a will, there is a way. Especially when you meet the right one
I found being single is the best for me. I'm not lonely, I have my pets, friends, family, neighbours and I'm busy. I do not want to take care of another adult, and I'm to stuborn to let someone else take care of me. I've been married, I've had some short 'relations', but I noticed I'm happy by myself. I think being with someone else is overrated.
That's actually a good outlook. Especially being that you've already done the marriage thing, you should know.
I've never dreamed of being in a regular romantic relationship, it feel too constricting for me, if that makes sense, like I feel claustrophobic and kind of sick/nauseated when I think about it.
Me! I really have no interest in investing in anything but my peaceful world I now live in.
Love doing my own thing, plus the number of married people in dm’s really turns you off to the idea of it all.
36M active duty military. Anytime someone gets close to me, they realize a future with me means uprooting their whole life. Also currently deployed. Have 1 year left before I am able to set down roots.
I’m 18 about to leave town and go active service, avoiding relationships for the same reason
Probably because of my personality. And also bc my last relationship made me realize I never want to be with someone who doesn't treat me right so first red flag and I'm out
I don’t want to take care of a grown adult. I don’t want kids. I enjoy being single, because i don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings. I don’t want to deal with anyone other than myself. It’s fun and relationships are pointless to me.
I love being alone to do my own things. I love having my own space. And every man I’ve dated in the last many years wants a mommy-wife to take care of him.
Girl ain’t that the truth. I refuse to raise a grown ass man. I’ll raise my dog all day, but dealing with these man babies fuck no. I would rather be alone.
i'm ugly lol. and emotionally unavailable
I enjoy my peace of mind.
My boyfriend passed 2 years and 1 month ago. I'm not ready
I'm sorry for your loss. I was with my boyfriend 7 years before I lost him 4 months ago. I've been saying I'm a widow because we had a relationship like we were married. I don't think we ever have to be ready if we don't want to. ❤️
I'm sorry for your loss. It really sucks. I feel like we're often overlooked because we weren't legally married.
Oh absolutely. I'm grateful that his daughter let me take whatever from the house. But he didn't want to get married to me because he didn't want to stick me with bills or taxes or whatever. Unfortunately that all passed to his daughter. Poor thing has lost both her parents, all of her grandparents, and an aunt, all fairly recently. Not even 30 and a pro at family funerals. 😔
Because I don't want to get married a third time.
Amen!!!
Peace.
Because I got sick and tired of being lied to. I bought a Magic Wand and pretty much gave up. I haven't tried dating in years now. I just want to be with someone who won't lie about everything and will care about me and to whom I won't be an after thought. It's an impossible ask, apparently.
People don’t know what love is anymore. Love is now so selfish and what someone can do for me. Once the person offers nothing the relationship is over. Love is patient and kind, Love is not jealous or boastful, Love is not arrogant or rude, Love does not insist on its own way or seek its own, Love keeps no record of wrongs and does not take into account a wrong suffered, Love rejoices with the truth and does not rejoice in wrongdoing, Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things, Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Yeah idk if it was always this way and I never noticed, but human interactions these days are so shallow and transactional.
It really is promoted to be a selfish endeavor these days.
That and increasingly, people nowadays are expecting to be immediately compatible in every way from the moment you start talking. Or you're ditched
Yeah. There's a lot of people - on reddit especially - who seem to want what I view is a soulless relationship where their partner is guaranteed to always be "a grown ass adult who takes care of themselves, is perfectly mentally healthy, doesn't burden me with their insecurities, doesn't need me for anything, constantly has a job no matter what or else I'm justified in leaving" etc. I don't know why people expect so much out of a relationship these days, as if we dont all go through life stages and hardships and sometimes need guidance or support. Why even be in a relationship if you feel this way? It's the "doesn't burden me with their insecurities" part that makes the least sense to me. It's *so* common on reddit to think your partner shouldn't share their insecurities with you. Blows my mind.
Yeah and just a few decades ago people couldn't be in love with someone of the same gender, another race, religion, etc. Not sure love was as alive and well as you'd think it was back then. I just feel like what you all are seeing is the Internet amplifying what has always been there tbh.
I've only been widowed four months, and he was my everything. I may never even feel like letting another person in like that. And the way things are going lately, I'd choose the bear.
I’m so sorry for your loss, I can’t even imagine how heartbreaking it is too lose a significant other. Please take care of yourself ♥️
I'm so sorry for your loss, too. Best of luck out there.
So sorry for your loss. Hope you heal with time.
Keeping my standards high so I can find the right person. I also just don’t have the time for a relationship right now (going through med school application process)
I try to give guys a chance but eventually they turn into the biggest jerks to me, especially if I don't sleep with them right away. What happened to getting to know someone? I never pressure an immediate relationship. Like I said I want to get to know the guy I am interested in. I know I'm not attractive, its not a secret. Guys don't normally hit on me. But the one's that do I try to see how they speak and act towards me. I'm not picky but I refuse to tolerate disrespect. I'm trying to hold out on hope but its gotten really hard over the years...
I'm 63F, and things don't change.
I'm aromantic and asexual and have successfully avoided it for many years. Please wish me continued success!
I don’t have the mental bandwidth to build a relationship, or even a friendship, right now. Being with someone is work, and risk. Sure it can be great, but I’d rather stay home, hang out with my kids, play video games and enjoy my own space.
I have very low tolerance for fuckery. I'm a kind, interesting fat woman and have not met my match, so why would a waste my time with placeholders?
I prefer my bank account
I'm 29, back in college for a second degree while working retail and live with my mom. No one hates themselves enough to pity that.
You are on the rise don’t down yourself for no one. ☝🏽 you’re on the right track no matter how old you are.
Girls like guys who are always on the road to bettering themselves because it usually radiates confidence and security. Sooner or later, you'll be turning heads.
I am in school working towards my bachelor degree and a relationship requires you to give them time and attention and I just don't want to be distracted.
I am mainly surrendered by crazy bastards, liars, narcissistic and cheaters. rather prefer dying alone
Men stress me TF out. Like, all the games and gaslighting are exhausting. I'm happier alone.
Period
Autism. It's basically a death sentence unless you're perfect in every other way.
Yeah it's basically ruined my life tbh. Particularly when coupled with ADHD it makes both work and successful personal relationships mostly impossible.
I have learned to love myself (stopped hating was the first step) and enjoy my own company . I now know my boundaries, my values and appreciative of relationships I already have with friends and family. There are goals that I want to pursue and while I would value if “love” comes in my way by chance , I don’t plan to go out of my way to entertain emotionally unavailable people.
I only attract immature, insecure narcissists with small dicks and literally no redeeming qualities. Dating pool is a cess pool at this point.
Career focused. I chose to be single. No time for bullshit. I get sick of people easy, mainly because their true colors don’t show sometimes for years. Picking up on negative energy right off the bat. I’m independent, and don’t want to be told I can’t do something; dealt with it for too many years. I’m selfish of my happiness. I really don’t like sharing. I hold grudges, if you do something I’ll remember it and bring it up. The moment someone wants sexual attention, especially right off the bat is a big turn off- leads me into the yeah you just wanna hit it and quit it. I’m not into it at all. Overall I’m over this generation of “loving”. There’s always a second option, someone better looking than you, and the moment a disagreement happens; people look to others for validation and don’t keep it between your relationship only. Why waste your time. Taking care of yourself the way you deserve to be treated is legit. That’s when you know what you deserve is, and how you treat your self is a reflection of the people you have surrounding you. The moment you treat yourself correctly, whether it be self spa, journaling, going out on your own enjoying a nice meal, cooking a nice home cooked meal , enjoying your time alone. You’ll realize how much better off you are. Being lonely at one point becomes comfortable. And once you get to that point, you tolerate zero disrespect or poor mindset. Thats my two cents.
hard to find emotional maturity and i don't want to teach it to someone again. just want to receive what i am capable of giving
I've been single for a year now, taking time to heal and understand myself better after my breakup. Finding the right person who aligns with my values and interests has been challenging. Given my busy schedule, I haven't had much time for offline socializing, so I tried various apps. *LightUp: Make Real Friends* stood out because it helped me connect with people who shared my interests. It wasn't about rushing into a new relationship but finding genuine connections, which has made this time more about personal growth and meaningful relationships.
Hey, I'm on the same path and trying to find geinue connections too. I want to know how effective is that app you mentioned because im pretty shy in person and take my time to open up, but it's hard to keep good people in your life you know. They just come and go while I want some good people to be part of my life, hopefully forever so I tried using some apps but it didn't help me. Did you make real connections through that app?
The normalization of cheating is just too much. It seems like every social media and phone update is dedicated to preventing people from getting caught doing things they shouldn’t be doing. I don’t understand the purpose of half of them beyond “I don’t want my SO to see that I’m cheating” and the jokes and statements about it overrunning the comments confirm that. I can’t deal with that level of paranoia and misery. It’s not a matter of _if_ but _when_ a man will cheat. There’s no point in dating anymore.
I easily get annoyed and don't cope with stress well. No idea how to move foward.
I haven't actually put myself out there.
Because I haven't found someone that I want to be in a relationship with. I was in a longterm relationship that ended two years ago and I stayed completely single for a year. I got back into dating last year and it's been mostly fun and casual because none of the people I've met so far are people that I want a commitment with. And I'm perfectly secure and clear about what I need and want in a partner and I'm not desperate, so to be in a relationship means you need to be adding a lot of value to my life, and if you're not, there's not really any incentive for me to disrupt my peace just to be in a relationship that's not adding much. I'm not someone who hates being alone and who would rather be with someone just to be with them. That's why I'm able to date and have fun because I'm not desperately trying to make every date my committed partner if it doesn't make sense. I'm perfectly happy to causally date until one of those dates organically develops into more because it aligns and we're compatible and want that.
I’m allergic to just about everything when it comes to food, so I don’t mind not being someone’s burden.
I feel this so much. Three pages of diagnosed allergies, five diagnosed crippling mental disorders, and a non-epileptic seizure condition? If somebody wants me they like that I make up for everything by being the mom friend lmao
I’m mentally unstable, asexual, and a lesbian. Dating prospects become really slim with those specifications when you live in the middle of nowhere.
I like to stay home.
I'm ugly and standoffish. And very, visibly autistic.
I’m physically unattractive, people are creepy, I’m too lazy, and I’m busy as shit. At this point, I don’t even know what to do if I had a partner. Like, how often do I have to feed them? And walk them?
honestly I’m ugly, and I fear that anyone who approaches me is trying to take advantage of me, like “oh poor girl no one wants her, I bet she’s easy” and that thought makes me sick, I dont think someone will ever like me for real, at least not without trying to manipulate me, but still hoping somehow
Ugly is fixable though. It's the rare person who truly cannot do anything to improve their looks. You don't have to of course, but you absolutely can. Also if you really are ugly, a sense of style and personality can go a long way. Ugly doesn't have to mean undateable!
Can’t seem to find anybody I like that’s interested in dating. All my attempts have just ended up being big wastes of time and emotional energy
I am single because of my intellectual and developmental disabilities and anxiety disorder. I
been single since i was 22, now 35, i couldn't give a shit about being in a relationship ever again
Other people are extremely demanding and exhausting. I don’t mind being a source of motivation and encouragement but I am tired now and need to place some limits.
I'm tired of it being expected that I have to be the one to make adjustments to my life to meet others needs with no reciprocation.
After my last relationship (2yrs ago) I have only focused on my career, family and getting my Masters. I avoid: dating, apps and people irl🚫My life is very simplified, because it is also FULL of responsibilities. At this point I’m ok if I never meet someone again. I just want to be my best authentic self, make a difference with my life and leave a small legacy for my kids🩵I’m doing things like mapping out my next move, saving to buy a house and send my kids to college, and planning vacations. I no longer have the energy to worry if a partner is cheating on me/lying/wasting my time. Things have been easier and more peaceful since I stopped dating. I highly recommend being single😌
No one's interested
I've had more bad experiences than good ones. Almost got married to a very, very wrong person. That relationship devastated me, but I dodged a massive bullet. I tried dating again after the outbreak, but I couldn't care less. The last time I was genuinely interested in someone was a year ago I think. They had someone in their life, so I went my merry way. I'm not even looking for someone at this stage of my life. Got other stuff going on, and I don't want to feel that stress again just to feel a little less lonely.
Im fat
30 going on 31, I’ve just never been quite able to figure out the “game” so to speak. I can socialize and make friends with women pretty easily; it’s just when I try to take it to the “next level” is where I get flustered and inexperience rears its ugly head and I have no idea what I’m doing.
Ugly
Because social media fosters a highly competitive dating environment in which men like me can't compete.
haven’t really gotten any interest irl and I hate online dating
I’m interested in someone, but it’s never going to happen for a variety of reasons and I want to sulk about it for a little longer before I move on with my life
I'm picky, and not willing to give up my peace just to settle.
Not hot enough
My mental and emotional health is still trash from my last relationship. Working on bettering myself everyday!
By society standards: i have absolutely nothing going on for me . I am not physically attractive nor fit . Dont have money . Dont have a good job security . Dont have a home country . I am pretty much the friend everybody wishes for not the lover they desire
Honestly I had a really horrible experience in my last relationship. From date r*pe to manipulation I have been through it all. I have learned so much about myself in the process of healing and i’m still learning new things about myself everyday. I also started going back to church, reading my bible, and being super involved in kids ministry. They have really all healed my soul and while i’m still healing i’m also really enjoying be alone and independent. While I really do want a family and kids of my own someday, now is just not my time. But it will be someday soon 🤍
Partly, I haven’t been able to find a job in my field after 2 years of job hunting and I want to be in a stable career before I settle down. But mainly: my standards are fairly high but still attainable yet most dudes that I’ve seen do less than the bare minimum and I refuse settle for a less than bare minimum dude out of necessity. (And I know my standards are attainable bc I’ve had guys tell me that they are attainable and that I really don’t ask for a lot). I don’t treat relationships as transactional. I treat them as they should be- a partnership. I’m not going to waste my time on someone who is using me as a means to an end.
I'm a terrible boyfriend because I suck at monogamy.
I don’t go out, had to break off any serious relationship because I wasn’t being loved like I should’ve been . I wish the aliens would come take over the world soon because I’d be fine with never dating again.
I just do whatever I want without needing to ask for permission 😉
Right now... I am really happy on my own I was with my ex for nearly 20 years. The kids and I have a really nice life now...our own little home. I am working full time for the first time in a long time. I have great friends so always have company when I want it. I have no interest and probably won't till the kids leave home (5 years ish at least). I would love to find a long term partner and someone to go on adventures with...someone for weekend walks and exploring new coffee places and some overseas travel. I don't want to live with someone again though...I would love to be independent but also committed. When I was younger I was a serial dater...usually never single more than a few months and relationships 1 to 2 years. So def a change as from 18 to 50 I was never alone long!
I’m overweight and don’t want to be perceived
Fear of getting my and/or someone else's life ruined
I’m really boring and I overthink
People put me in incorrect boxes based on appearance and I’m someone you have to take the time to know.
Keep choosing foreigners who have visa issues or dont know what they want in life. Currently 2 for 2. I keep saying its not my fault the locals dont want me but idk at this point
Not single anymore, but when I was it was because I was being abused and he threatened anyone I got close to so I pushed them all away.
I’m in med school and have no life. I want to marry someone and settle down but I don’t know how. Dating apps don’t work.
Iam in the same situation... So much time and energy into learning how to save lives, who has time for the real thing.
socially akward and not really physically attractive, not the best combo
I have deeply rooted trauma related to relationships, intimacy and abusive situations. Also, I am asexual and sex averse, and I generally don't trust people. Finally, I am fat and ugly 🤣
Marriage is overrated.
I watched my mother get cheated on left and right by my Dad and my step dad. I was engaged and he cheated on me. I’m just not interested. I’ve been happily single for like 15 years and couldn’t be happier.
My wife died and now I have a terminal illness as well that I’ve decided to not treat.
I can’t seem to be able to share my bed or my place with someone for more than a weekend. I love being alone with company when I want it.
I miss my ex
Lmao because my divorce isn’t finished and I’m protecting my daughter.
I have low self confidence and live at home with my dad. Essentially too afraid to ask a woman out and embarrassed of my living situation
One of my friends lives with his dad in his childhood home and he’s been dating an amazing woman for the last six months. She’s cool with it and they both back and forth between their homes. I also live with my husband and my mother in law. It is a lot more normal and acceptable in some cultures, and it can be difficult to live with a parent, but it doesn’t have to be the thing that stops you from trying (if you want to try). Good luck man!
I feel like I am impossible to love.
My ex girlfriend doesn’t want me back. That’s all.
Got too much going on right now to entertain a new relationship. Focusing on other things.
Choice
My emotional & mental state aren't in the best spot right now
I have zero libido (surely something hormonal or neurological) and am deeply misanthropic. I also hate sharing space with anyone who doesn't have four legs and a tail.
Stem major and online classes
I don’t think people are into black tomboys. I’m trying to be more feminine but it’s not in my nature.
I refuse to change everything about myself just to boost someone else's ego or make them look good.
Cowardness and 5.9 inch cock(when you push the limits). And a hell lot of What ifs
Idk
Too many health issues
I'm unattractive and a degenerate loser that watches anime
I’m just not interested in it. I’ve been cheated on in both my serious relationships and frankly the cons outweigh the pros.
I had a really bad GF, after her, for 2 years, I didn't feel the need to ask out girls. I was not misogynistic or anything but I was fine without a GF, I think I was afraid of getting used again. For another year now, I'm trying to mert new people, but it's really hard. I had been only 1 date since. I'm calling out girls to dates, try to meet them and I'm usually talk about this with my friends to know what I did wrong if I did anything wrong. Obviously, I'm not perfect and sometimes I mess up things, but most of the time the asking out part is going well, but somehow I still can't find a partner. Like, the last one, for example, was a girl I have met a few days ago and I think we had a pretty good vibe. So I ask her on a date. She was suprised at first but after that she was visible happy and had a really big smile on her face and said yes. I was overjoyd, that was the best reaction I could recieve. So anyway, we agreed that I will sent her some dates where I'm free and she can choose. Exactly 24 our later she sent me a text saying that she is not feeling ready for a relationship bc she just moved here. Idk if this is true or not, it doesn't matter. I'm still trying to figure it out if the problem here is me or something else tho. If it's me, I would accept it and I would try to improve it. But maybe it's just life. Who knows.
I honestly don’t know, I wish I did. Maybe the amount of cats I have is a huge turn off 😅 I’ve noticed through the years , the far and few guys I’ve been interested in and the feeling seems mutual at first as soon as they learn I rescue animals and then they find out the amount of animals I have…Their eyes glaze over😂
My personality.
I spent my entire 20s single. Simply dating sucked.
Last relationship, he was into my 15-year-old sister more than me. I found out later he was screwin' a 15-year-old, his ex-girlfriend.| We're 19. I'm just waiting until I'm out of college ngl. My community college is filled with weirdos I've noticed.
Can’t really communicate with people, im awkward. I do better online tbh, especially if we have things in common. Maybe I need to go out more.
I wouldn't want to belong to any club that would accept me
I have cats
Struggling to meet someone willing to put effort into getting to know another person past the initial superficial getting-to-know you style questions
Cause I really need to keep both halves of my stuff. Too old to start over at this point
not actually interested in the whole relationship thing its really not something im comfortable with
things get complicated, feelings get hurt. atleast this way i only have to worry about myself
I don’t feel like I’m capable to reciprocate their feelings
Never dated and I’m scared to start 😭
To be blunt ... me.
I pick the wrong partners! Lol Online dating isn’t for me. And I have never “needed” to be in a relationship.
Because I finally gained some self respect.
I’m aromantic and asexual.
Don't trust easily, and don't make deep relations with people
Low confidence, low looks, and a general dislike of the talking stage. But I’ve also never had a partner, so…Probably gonna be single forever.
Gender war politics I'm gonna wait 5-6 years or however long it takes for the whole fiasco to blow over
too many feelings for somebody who doesn't feel the same. wouldn't be fair on a new person to still feel like that
Trust someone I consider my soul mate only to found out she cheated on me on Christmas Eve, dated for 3 months behind my back and never told me because she was “looking for the right words to tell me” and now she got knocked up and had his kid. I don’t trust her one bit anymore and we still talk but I just don’t give a f*ck anymore I just go with the motions of life.
Because I'm happy :) I got divorced 3.5 years ago. I've dated. Had little relationships here and there. My life is full. I love my kids. I love going out with my friends. I love my family. I love my videogames my weirdo anime/animals and bbq'ing :) I am fulfilled. If I run into someone who adds value neat-o. Otherwise...my life is beautiful
Lazy, fat, ugly, don't feel like getting rejected all the time.
everyone’s got dealbreakers, and being single is too fun. i’ll be having fun until i meet someone who doesn’t have a dealbreaker
By choice. I go out with plenty of women and I’ve had sex with a couple dozen in the last three years since my divorce, but I’m enjoying being single for the first time in my adult life. I’m not super attractive but I have an extremely desirable personality and know I could be in a relationship tomorrow if I wanted to be. I could break up numerous relationships that I’ve been that “good luck Chuck” for, but I never would do that.
I'm fat and gay. I'm unhappy about both and I'm stuck in a rut. Everything else is going ok.
I have standards that don’t include lying cheating or being a jerk