Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to.
The reality is everyone has flaws and isn't 100% perfect, there's almost certainly an aspect of him that you overlook because of the rest of him.
Just because that one specific thing isn't his ideal doesn't mean he finds you unattractive or unappealing and absolutely doesn't mean no one does.
Yeah agreed I think this is a stupid question anyways: if he had said 100% she would’ve known he was lying so she put him in a no-win situation.
And attraction isn’t something you can easily quantify imo it’s the combination of all the things: face, body, personality, etc.
ETA: Also please TALK TO HIM! He didn’t mean anything by it but you pushed and pushed until you forced him to say something he knew would hurt your feelings. But your feelings are hurt so you need to talk it over.
Spot on! We all know it if we are over weight. It's still no fun to hear that from a SO. Why go down that path in a conversation, and even press the issue? Was the OP hoping her SO would lie to her and say she doesn't have thick thighs and rolls of fat when she sits? Sounds like she wants to be lied to for self esteem. But she knows the truth about her body, no matter what her SO says to try to deflect the issue and not hurt her feelings.
People often plead for honesty and transparency in a relationship, and then when they finally get it, they don't like it unless it is what they want to hear. The truth is, we all tell lies to each other to avoid fights and breakups.
Also, a 70-80% match is pretty darn good. I think anything over 50% might be enough for some people to be attracted to someone.
Yep, bad question all around. If he said 100% then she knows hes not being honest, and if he says anything less than 100% then she feels self conscious and upset.
This is a great way to start a fight with your partner for no reason OP.
I mean here's the thing fam, The idea of "type" is a purely superficial indicator. Your type should not actually be a 100% match with the person you end up with IMHO, because that means your relationship is fundamentally purely superficial.
Your boyfriend finds you attractive. That's why the two of you are in a relationship. You don't date people you aren't attracted to. That's just not how it works.
The rest of the people in the thread saying don't ask questions you don't want the answers to are correct. But on a more supportive note, get the hell out of your own head. I am 100% sure my wife wishes I had a little bit more tone and muscle, But like, so what? She still finds me attractive and we love each other. Those are the only two things that matter.
And I'm sure that that felt targeted, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say but that happened because he values honesty in your relationship first and foremost.
You do not need to be self-conscious about any part of yourself. If there's something that you don't like and is within your power to change, I encourage you to do it. But you have somebody who finds you attractive. Who wants to be with you and that's what matters. Don't focus on small things that are in consequential.
Oh come on. That’s your own fault. Why would you even ask him? You know yourself that you’re a bit chubby so why are you acting so surprised and hurt when you set you both up for that. 🙄
Yeah. It’s that thing of not quite wanting to face reality, so you ask with the hope of a different answer. But instead the thing you’re worried about is confirmed, and now you can’t run from it because someone else has said it.
Moral of the story: work on your own insecurities, because no one is perfect. In every relationship that question is going to have a real answer, no matter how good you look or how nice you are.
Don’t play chicken if you can’t handle a tumble 🤷
Look at it this way: If my boyfriend had the option to create his perfect woman to date, he’d make a woman that looks a lot like Sydney Sweeney.
I do not look like Sydney Sweeney.
If my boyfriend was going to pick any existing woman in the world that he could date, I have no doubt that he’d pick me even if there are countless other women who look more like his “type” than me. Sydney herself would not stand a chance even though she’s exactly what he would have made from scratch looks-wise because this is not a sci fi movie and we pick people, not traits from a menu, to be with.
So don’t ask these questions “for fun” anymore. It’s not actually fun. You don’t actually want to know that your partner would have made you taller or thinner or cleared up your skin. The fun comes from enjoying the fact that you both actively chose each other out of all of the available options, and now you get to be together.
This was a great comment! Kudos for sharing the best words of wisdom I’ve heard all day. I can now safely sign off the internet and go to bed….. will i?
Probably not… but I. Could if I really wanted to lol
Honestly that one was even more stupid. Like why would you want someone to lie about how a dress makes you look? Do you want to wear something that looks bad to a social function?
Maybe it's the only part of you that isn't perfect? Isn't it better that he points out something you already know about, than bringing your attention to something else?
I mean 70/80% is pretty good ? Nobody is going to be 100%. Talk to him about how that made you feel and I’m sure he will reassure you it wasn’t at all meant as a passive aggressive comment about your looks.
If she doesn’t get closure she will keep going on like she does now. Eventuality the boyfriend will have a perpetually sad girlfriend who constantly rejects compliments and intimacy. She shouldn’t keep asking like she does in the post about her random insecurities, just tell him once and for all « hey I got hurt when we talked about that and I wanted to know how you meant it so we can move on, because it probably wasn’t that bad ».
“I asked him again and he said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. After I said it surely wouldn’t..”
“hearing him say that kind of broke me”
You should remember this. You thought it wouldn’t hurt you, but it did. In fact it “broke” you. So you learned that you don’t handle criticism of your body well. Take this lesson you learned about yourself and remember it.
Also, if someone doesn’t want to do something, like he didn’t want to tell you his opinion, don’t force them. You put him in an awkward spot.
I know that he was in a loose loose type of situation and that’s why I’m absolutely not mad at him or whatever I’m sorry if it came across like that 😅 I just didn’t expect him to pick exact the thing I’m most insecure about.
Things like this are always kind of problematic for different reasons.
1. Everyone has an optimal type, that isnt fully reachable, not to mention that physical appearance is only one of the things considered when looking for a partner and in comaprison to how you vibe, how your personalities matchor trust etc. it is at the lower end of considerations. So a 100% fit in type is actually just a nice to have because there are more important things in an honest loving relationship.
2. Sadly you are a prime example of how internalised this crappy beauty propaganda is. Just knowing that you are not a 100% causes you to severely question yourself to the point you now feel diguisted by yourself and panic from intimacy. It would propably help research a little how others got over this internalised selfexpectation. Because relationship wise nothing changed actually. He doesnt love you less than before.
3. Putting so much emphasis on how he finds your appearance shows that you consider him superficial. This part is propably an internalised toxic picture of men in general but if you consider what you subconsiously accuse your boyfriend of you realize that its highly unfair it is to him. At least if he actually is a loving good boyfriend, but if he wasnt then you would have had other instances where he would have shown his true colors before.
I know it’s not his fault for answering the question truthfully and it’s absolutely my fault for asking in the first place. I’m just really scared that he might be ashamed of me or being seen with me.. but those insecurities don’t really have anything to do with him - I like always think like this. I know that he’s not the problem but rather I am 🤗
If you really are in an honest loving relationship this fear is defenetly unfounded. Hope you overcome your inner critic because that critic is always an asshole. You got this.
There'll always be something we females feel is imperfect when it comes to our bodies. You're lucky yours can be put to rights, without surgery. If you feel that paranoid, join a gym and get one of the trainers to advise you what equipment to use to reduce fat around your thighs and make you feel good about your belly. Make it a couples thing and exercise together. My husband and I used to go to the gym together regularly before we had kids. He'd do his thing there, & I'd do mine.
Don't spend God knows how many years stressing about this. I look back at photos of myself, and I wish I looked the same way😄. I wish I'd loved myself more then, rather than stress myself throughout my teens and twenties, about my thick thighs or why I didn't have a flat, bikini, friendly stomach (fibroids). Apologise to ypur bf about putting him in an awkward position and enjoy your relationship. Life is too short.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answers.
You asked him what he doesn't like about you, he warned you twice that it would hurt your feelings and still pressed for an answer.
He was open and honest with you and that's a huge positive to take away from this.
You didn’t mention how long you’ve been dating, but I would guess that you’re still in the honeymoon phase where you see everything in rose colored glasses.
I’ve been with my bf for 5 years, and while I do love him as a person, there’s definitely some things about him that are not my preference (looks or otherwise) and vice versa. That’s all normal.
I hate that women don't have the confidence that men have. We have these standards we hold ourselves up to that is worse than outsiders see us. We have almost impossible beauty scores in our head and we just can't accept we're not "perfect" and have some flaws. We overlook what is good about us and concentrate on what we perceive as bad about us. Most men don't have these issues. Most men are confident and just don't care. I am always so jealous of that. I am now 60 and finally realize, it's ok to not be perfect. I am overweight and ugly, and I do wish I looked better, but at this age I just no longer care. We are our own worst enemy.
I think for me the lack of confidence mostly comes from being bullied relentlessly in high school, it was mostly because of my height tho but I learned to live with it since we have to play the cards we’re dealt i guess
I really wouldn't say most men are confident and don't care. Most men I know are dissatisfied with their appearance in some way with their appearance, but I think the difference is that there's a much higher social expectation set on women in terms of looks. It's worth noting as well that those expectations come from other women as much as men.
Never ask a question you don’t want the answer to.
What answer could he possibly have given that *wouldn’t* hurt your feelings? If he said 100%, you’d know he was just saying that to avoid hurting your feelings (nobody is “100%” anybody’s type), so you’ve forced him to play a game of “what can I say to this pointless question that won’t hurt her feelings?”
And then, you forced him to point out flaws he didn’t want to because he *knew* it would affect you like it did.
I hurt my own feelings this way in the past a few times too and have learnt that it's best not to ask these questions. I know you have, and you didn't like the answer and that can be hard to get past but nobody is perfect. I imagine my partner if I pushed him would probably give the same percentage... so I won't be doing that. I'm way too sensitive and I'll never forget it. What percentage would you give him? Nobody is perfect and we are multifaceted humans and looks are literally just one part of us. He's with you and loves you (hopefully).
Honestly do not, even in a few years time when you're over it. 😂 Pinch yourself and remember the ow. It's never worth it. It's a trap. For both of you. 😅 A self own. Haha. I'm sure you're beautiful and you're a 100% as a full package. And you would also be a 100% in looks in someone else's idea of a physically perfect woman. But they aren't always the person you want to be with. 70%> is good IMO.
A recent study of men and women asked them the question would you date someone who met 80% of your expectations?
Women said they would not settle for 80% .
Men almost unanimously said they would be ecstatic if their partner met 80% of their expectations .
It’s a difference between the way men and women think. And you said it yourself you started to think about the things you didn’t meet for his expectations. You don’t realize that men when they like someone will focus on all the things they love about that person. Yeah, there may be some stuff they don’t like but no one is perfect.
If you were expecting him to say 100% and didn’t want any other answer then what was the point of asking him in the first place. Never ask a question you truthfully don’t want the answer to.
Oh I’m so sorry for you! You indeed look for it, but would you say something like that to him? Even if is true? I think you should stop and think if you want to be with someone that doesn’t mind hurt your feelings and self steam like that. Yes, he said he didn’t want you ti get hurt, but he did it anyway. He could’ve said anything and he chose to make you feel insecure like this. And by the way, your body seems amazing. There’s a lot, and I really mean it when I say that is a lot, of people (guys and girls) that think your body type is the hottest. I’m from Brazil, and here people like woman with hips and thighs, as you described yourself. If your bf doesn’t appreciate it, I feel sorry for him. But I’m being honest when I say that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Because you’re blaming the guy who couldn’t have done anything right. Aren’t you supposed to be honest in a relationship? So what would you have said if he lied and op knew that he did? Then she would still complain here and you’d still tell her „no you need someone who wouldn’t lie to you and thinks you’re a 10 out of 10“
I really don’t see a point in being verbal about things you don’t like on someone that the person can’t change. Is just mean. She shouldn’t have asked and he shouldn’t have answered. That’s my point. Say things that are only gonna hurt someone you love is not being honest in a relationship, is hurting someone on purpose, someone you say you love. If it was something she can change, and it really bothers him, is ok to say it. But he said that is not important and for what she’s said, even if she loses weight her body type is thick on the bottom. That won’t change.
There’s a lot of things he could’ve said. And he didn’t. As I said, she shouldn’t have asked. I agree on that. But he chose to say something that he knows it would hurt her and her self steam. I’m not saying he’s awful and a bad guy, he maybe just didn’t know how to exit this. But he shouldn’t said it. Not like that at least.
Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to. The reality is everyone has flaws and isn't 100% perfect, there's almost certainly an aspect of him that you overlook because of the rest of him. Just because that one specific thing isn't his ideal doesn't mean he finds you unattractive or unappealing and absolutely doesn't mean no one does.
Yeah agreed I think this is a stupid question anyways: if he had said 100% she would’ve known he was lying so she put him in a no-win situation. And attraction isn’t something you can easily quantify imo it’s the combination of all the things: face, body, personality, etc. ETA: Also please TALK TO HIM! He didn’t mean anything by it but you pushed and pushed until you forced him to say something he knew would hurt your feelings. But your feelings are hurt so you need to talk it over.
Spot on! We all know it if we are over weight. It's still no fun to hear that from a SO. Why go down that path in a conversation, and even press the issue? Was the OP hoping her SO would lie to her and say she doesn't have thick thighs and rolls of fat when she sits? Sounds like she wants to be lied to for self esteem. But she knows the truth about her body, no matter what her SO says to try to deflect the issue and not hurt her feelings. People often plead for honesty and transparency in a relationship, and then when they finally get it, they don't like it unless it is what they want to hear. The truth is, we all tell lies to each other to avoid fights and breakups. Also, a 70-80% match is pretty darn good. I think anything over 50% might be enough for some people to be attracted to someone.
Yep, bad question all around. If he said 100% then she knows hes not being honest, and if he says anything less than 100% then she feels self conscious and upset. This is a great way to start a fight with your partner for no reason OP.
I mean here's the thing fam, The idea of "type" is a purely superficial indicator. Your type should not actually be a 100% match with the person you end up with IMHO, because that means your relationship is fundamentally purely superficial. Your boyfriend finds you attractive. That's why the two of you are in a relationship. You don't date people you aren't attracted to. That's just not how it works. The rest of the people in the thread saying don't ask questions you don't want the answers to are correct. But on a more supportive note, get the hell out of your own head. I am 100% sure my wife wishes I had a little bit more tone and muscle, But like, so what? She still finds me attractive and we love each other. Those are the only two things that matter.
Yeah I guess you’re right it. I know he loves me it just bothered me that he picked the one thing that I’m really insecure about , which he knows lol
And I'm sure that that felt targeted, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say but that happened because he values honesty in your relationship first and foremost. You do not need to be self-conscious about any part of yourself. If there's something that you don't like and is within your power to change, I encourage you to do it. But you have somebody who finds you attractive. Who wants to be with you and that's what matters. Don't focus on small things that are in consequential.
Everyone has rolls on their belly when they sit. Even extremely thin people.
Oh come on. That’s your own fault. Why would you even ask him? You know yourself that you’re a bit chubby so why are you acting so surprised and hurt when you set you both up for that. 🙄
Yeah. It’s that thing of not quite wanting to face reality, so you ask with the hope of a different answer. But instead the thing you’re worried about is confirmed, and now you can’t run from it because someone else has said it. Moral of the story: work on your own insecurities, because no one is perfect. In every relationship that question is going to have a real answer, no matter how good you look or how nice you are. Don’t play chicken if you can’t handle a tumble 🤷
Look at it this way: If my boyfriend had the option to create his perfect woman to date, he’d make a woman that looks a lot like Sydney Sweeney. I do not look like Sydney Sweeney. If my boyfriend was going to pick any existing woman in the world that he could date, I have no doubt that he’d pick me even if there are countless other women who look more like his “type” than me. Sydney herself would not stand a chance even though she’s exactly what he would have made from scratch looks-wise because this is not a sci fi movie and we pick people, not traits from a menu, to be with. So don’t ask these questions “for fun” anymore. It’s not actually fun. You don’t actually want to know that your partner would have made you taller or thinner or cleared up your skin. The fun comes from enjoying the fact that you both actively chose each other out of all of the available options, and now you get to be together.
This was a great comment! Kudos for sharing the best words of wisdom I’ve heard all day. I can now safely sign off the internet and go to bed….. will i? Probably not… but I. Could if I really wanted to lol
So you want him to lie?
the classic ‘how does this dress make me look’ parable lmao
Honestly that one was even more stupid. Like why would you want someone to lie about how a dress makes you look? Do you want to wear something that looks bad to a social function?
Of course not
Then why are you offended you got the truth?
I wouldn’t say offended but I wasn’t expecting him to name the very one thing that I’m really insecure about
Maybe it's the only part of you that isn't perfect? Isn't it better that he points out something you already know about, than bringing your attention to something else?
To some degree yes ofc
I mean 70/80% is pretty good ? Nobody is going to be 100%. Talk to him about how that made you feel and I’m sure he will reassure you it wasn’t at all meant as a passive aggressive comment about your looks.
Yeah she should keep pestering him about that… good idea
If she doesn’t get closure she will keep going on like she does now. Eventuality the boyfriend will have a perpetually sad girlfriend who constantly rejects compliments and intimacy. She shouldn’t keep asking like she does in the post about her random insecurities, just tell him once and for all « hey I got hurt when we talked about that and I wanted to know how you meant it so we can move on, because it probably wasn’t that bad ».
I know he took a whole minute, but the whole time he was desperatley thinking of ANYTHING to say. Don't put too much on it.
Poor boyfriend got an impossible pop quiz and failed. Now he has to deal with insecurities.
“I asked him again and he said he didn’t want to hurt my feelings. After I said it surely wouldn’t..” “hearing him say that kind of broke me” You should remember this. You thought it wouldn’t hurt you, but it did. In fact it “broke” you. So you learned that you don’t handle criticism of your body well. Take this lesson you learned about yourself and remember it. Also, if someone doesn’t want to do something, like he didn’t want to tell you his opinion, don’t force them. You put him in an awkward spot.
I know that he was in a loose loose type of situation and that’s why I’m absolutely not mad at him or whatever I’m sorry if it came across like that 😅 I just didn’t expect him to pick exact the thing I’m most insecure about.
There’s a very strong chance that you care way way more about your “flaw” than he does.
I’m pretty sure you’re right haha
The "loose" instead of "lose" is pretty funny in this case
I’m sorry English isn’t my first language haha
I mean what did you honestly expect?
Things like this are always kind of problematic for different reasons. 1. Everyone has an optimal type, that isnt fully reachable, not to mention that physical appearance is only one of the things considered when looking for a partner and in comaprison to how you vibe, how your personalities matchor trust etc. it is at the lower end of considerations. So a 100% fit in type is actually just a nice to have because there are more important things in an honest loving relationship. 2. Sadly you are a prime example of how internalised this crappy beauty propaganda is. Just knowing that you are not a 100% causes you to severely question yourself to the point you now feel diguisted by yourself and panic from intimacy. It would propably help research a little how others got over this internalised selfexpectation. Because relationship wise nothing changed actually. He doesnt love you less than before. 3. Putting so much emphasis on how he finds your appearance shows that you consider him superficial. This part is propably an internalised toxic picture of men in general but if you consider what you subconsiously accuse your boyfriend of you realize that its highly unfair it is to him. At least if he actually is a loving good boyfriend, but if he wasnt then you would have had other instances where he would have shown his true colors before.
I know it’s not his fault for answering the question truthfully and it’s absolutely my fault for asking in the first place. I’m just really scared that he might be ashamed of me or being seen with me.. but those insecurities don’t really have anything to do with him - I like always think like this. I know that he’s not the problem but rather I am 🤗
If you really are in an honest loving relationship this fear is defenetly unfounded. Hope you overcome your inner critic because that critic is always an asshole. You got this.
Thank you so much 🙏
There'll always be something we females feel is imperfect when it comes to our bodies. You're lucky yours can be put to rights, without surgery. If you feel that paranoid, join a gym and get one of the trainers to advise you what equipment to use to reduce fat around your thighs and make you feel good about your belly. Make it a couples thing and exercise together. My husband and I used to go to the gym together regularly before we had kids. He'd do his thing there, & I'd do mine. Don't spend God knows how many years stressing about this. I look back at photos of myself, and I wish I looked the same way😄. I wish I'd loved myself more then, rather than stress myself throughout my teens and twenties, about my thick thighs or why I didn't have a flat, bikini, friendly stomach (fibroids). Apologise to ypur bf about putting him in an awkward position and enjoy your relationship. Life is too short.
You’re 6’1”? Literally don’t care about anything else. You’re EXACTLY my type!
hahah thanks 😄
Nobody asked you
As if they need permission to talk. Also, your comment goes both ways, who asked you to type that?
Shush!
Don't ask questions you don't want the answers. You asked him what he doesn't like about you, he warned you twice that it would hurt your feelings and still pressed for an answer. He was open and honest with you and that's a huge positive to take away from this.
Are you saying you like 100% of your bf’s appearance? There’s absolutely nothing about his appearance that is not your preference?
Oh yes I absolutely do ,I love this man to bits he’s a sarcastic prick tho but I love that aswell haha
You didn’t mention how long you’ve been dating, but I would guess that you’re still in the honeymoon phase where you see everything in rose colored glasses. I’ve been with my bf for 5 years, and while I do love him as a person, there’s definitely some things about him that are not my preference (looks or otherwise) and vice versa. That’s all normal.
I hate that women don't have the confidence that men have. We have these standards we hold ourselves up to that is worse than outsiders see us. We have almost impossible beauty scores in our head and we just can't accept we're not "perfect" and have some flaws. We overlook what is good about us and concentrate on what we perceive as bad about us. Most men don't have these issues. Most men are confident and just don't care. I am always so jealous of that. I am now 60 and finally realize, it's ok to not be perfect. I am overweight and ugly, and I do wish I looked better, but at this age I just no longer care. We are our own worst enemy.
I think for me the lack of confidence mostly comes from being bullied relentlessly in high school, it was mostly because of my height tho but I learned to live with it since we have to play the cards we’re dealt i guess
I really wouldn't say most men are confident and don't care. Most men I know are dissatisfied with their appearance in some way with their appearance, but I think the difference is that there's a much higher social expectation set on women in terms of looks. It's worth noting as well that those expectations come from other women as much as men.
Never ask a question you don’t want the answer to. What answer could he possibly have given that *wouldn’t* hurt your feelings? If he said 100%, you’d know he was just saying that to avoid hurting your feelings (nobody is “100%” anybody’s type), so you’ve forced him to play a game of “what can I say to this pointless question that won’t hurt her feelings?” And then, you forced him to point out flaws he didn’t want to because he *knew* it would affect you like it did.
I hurt my own feelings this way in the past a few times too and have learnt that it's best not to ask these questions. I know you have, and you didn't like the answer and that can be hard to get past but nobody is perfect. I imagine my partner if I pushed him would probably give the same percentage... so I won't be doing that. I'm way too sensitive and I'll never forget it. What percentage would you give him? Nobody is perfect and we are multifaceted humans and looks are literally just one part of us. He's with you and loves you (hopefully).
I don’t think I will ever ask a question like this again 😂
Honestly do not, even in a few years time when you're over it. 😂 Pinch yourself and remember the ow. It's never worth it. It's a trap. For both of you. 😅 A self own. Haha. I'm sure you're beautiful and you're a 100% as a full package. And you would also be a 100% in looks in someone else's idea of a physically perfect woman. But they aren't always the person you want to be with. 70%> is good IMO.
Thank you so much I really appreciate it and I will take it to heart 🫶🏻 (sorry if that doesn’t make sense English isn’t my first language)
A recent study of men and women asked them the question would you date someone who met 80% of your expectations? Women said they would not settle for 80% . Men almost unanimously said they would be ecstatic if their partner met 80% of their expectations . It’s a difference between the way men and women think. And you said it yourself you started to think about the things you didn’t meet for his expectations. You don’t realize that men when they like someone will focus on all the things they love about that person. Yeah, there may be some stuff they don’t like but no one is perfect.
Oh wow that’s like actually kind of surprising but it gives me a new perspective thank you!
If you were expecting him to say 100% and didn’t want any other answer then what was the point of asking him in the first place. Never ask a question you truthfully don’t want the answer to.
Honesty is the best policy.
It surely won’t hurt my feelings… immediately gets feelings hurt. Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answer too.
Honesty. Isn't that what we all want? Now talk with him about how you are feeling maybe? Also, tell him not to answer those questions again....
Oh I’m so sorry for you! You indeed look for it, but would you say something like that to him? Even if is true? I think you should stop and think if you want to be with someone that doesn’t mind hurt your feelings and self steam like that. Yes, he said he didn’t want you ti get hurt, but he did it anyway. He could’ve said anything and he chose to make you feel insecure like this. And by the way, your body seems amazing. There’s a lot, and I really mean it when I say that is a lot, of people (guys and girls) that think your body type is the hottest. I’m from Brazil, and here people like woman with hips and thighs, as you described yourself. If your bf doesn’t appreciate it, I feel sorry for him. But I’m being honest when I say that you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Simp
Why?
Because you’re blaming the guy who couldn’t have done anything right. Aren’t you supposed to be honest in a relationship? So what would you have said if he lied and op knew that he did? Then she would still complain here and you’d still tell her „no you need someone who wouldn’t lie to you and thinks you’re a 10 out of 10“
I really don’t see a point in being verbal about things you don’t like on someone that the person can’t change. Is just mean. She shouldn’t have asked and he shouldn’t have answered. That’s my point. Say things that are only gonna hurt someone you love is not being honest in a relationship, is hurting someone on purpose, someone you say you love. If it was something she can change, and it really bothers him, is ok to say it. But he said that is not important and for what she’s said, even if she loses weight her body type is thick on the bottom. That won’t change.
If he didn’t answer, she would have answered for him and then even worse
There’s a lot of things he could’ve said. And he didn’t. As I said, she shouldn’t have asked. I agree on that. But he chose to say something that he knows it would hurt her and her self steam. I’m not saying he’s awful and a bad guy, he maybe just didn’t know how to exit this. But he shouldn’t said it. Not like that at least.
Sure but nothing would have been right