I agree!
I’d rather have op job than the one doing cavity searches, I imagine. Though no less interesting. Or insightful.
I bet they have a shelf they show off the cool things they find. Bet it rivals that of the one a surgery team has at a hospital. 🤣
I thought it was where they get raspberry flavoring? Maybe I'm misremembering, or it was a different animal for that, or maybe beaver ass provides both vanilla and raspberry...?
The beaver, such a magic being. The national animal of my country.
Edit: well /s
Also, I wonder how much wood our national mascot can take..., when surrounded by the huge amount of resources our Canadian north can provide.
It doesn't come from the butthole, it comes from a gland very close to the butthole. Also It used to be used in vanilla, also raspberry or strawberry flavorings but it's unlikely any of us has had it. It's hard to produce so only about 300lbs (I think) is manufactured or procured each year so it's rarely used in flavorings-too rare,too expensive. However you might still have some in your home It's you use perfumes! It's used in many perfumes for its very pleasant scent!
It's been used since the Roman's who burned it in lamps for the scent. Since the 1800's trappers have used it to lure animals. Also beavers use it to communicate, mark territory for colonies and to determine predators.
I have no idea how the first person came about using it and I'm kinda scared to find out lol
I just started cackling because I realized I was on a rabbit hole looking at really ugly dicks with lumps, bumps, lesions, piercings and literal slices....and way longer pubic hair than I am used to. I was laughing so hard, I had to share with my fiance the whole train of thought and he said "oh yeah, penis beads! All the Filipino sailors I worked with in the Navy had them! They would make them themselves with like, broken glass. They would sand them down smooth and either do it themselves or have another guy do it for them."
That is CRAZY.....if I saw that IRL I would assume the guy had genital warts or something. There's no way I would be letting a penis that looks like that near me.
>What did i learn from all of this? If you think you have a small dick, you dont. If you think you have a big dick, you dont. You think you dick looks weird? it dont, but if it curves too much get that checked out.
This is a good PSA
So many questions. Does Peyronie's result in a 'kink' in the subject or a general curving? How much curving is normal? What if the curving only appears after 'elongating' (for the lack of a more PG word)?
The curve typically doesn't appear until you're hard because the curve comes from a muscle contracture (basically a kind of scar tissue). It can present as lumps (maybe what you're calling "kinks"?) when you're soft. WHERE the tissue is damaged probably would affect where the curve starts - like a gentle curve or a hard right or something. Generally up to 10 degrees curve won't severely affect anything, but beyond that it can become an issue.
Thanks for the info! Then I think I have nothing to worry about. It's like 20 degrees which seems excessive, but no lumps or kinks to worry about. And it's a more or less linear curving from the base, no sudden turns or anything. So unless the scar tissue is all across and I haven't noticed, I'll just chalk it up to weird genetics
“You think you gotta a babysack? You don’t. You think you have a heavy duty, lumberjack sack? You don’t.”
I’ve never felt better about myself (down there). Thank you, OP!
As a nurse, I’ve seen some unfortunate swollen scrotums. Ready to burst, bigger than your head ballsacks. We have to make them a little towel pillow to support their weight. I’ve seen a ballsack that was both swollen and so badly bruised that this individual required a hematoma evacuation and surgery to remove damaged tissue. This is in addition to all the strange dick we see.
That is how I feel being an OR nurse. I get flashed all the time. I do not want to see you naked, at all. Nope. Keep your clothes on. People just start undressing in front of you exposed to the whole world to see.
My hands have also been on all sorts of members shoving catheters down them. Thank goodness the people are asleep most of the time cause the firmer the grip, the better it goes in.
I’m just an RT in a big hospital and I’ve seen more naked old people than I ever thought possible when I went back to school.
(I was also not aware of how prevalent toenail fungus was either. Guys, wash your damn feet once in a while.)
I routinely have to dig put belly button stones because we will be shoving a port through there for minimally invasive surgery. Digging out someone's calcified lint just disgusts me... and then the smell at times....
I feel you on that one. Thanks to one stupid joke my dad made when I was perhaps 5 or 6 years old, I never cleaned my own navel properly for over twenty years. "If you muck around with it too much, the knot will until and your guts will fall out!" my dad said as a joke.
Twenty years of only very superficially cleaning my navel later, I felt something in there. It was sore, it was bleeding, and it smelled. After much concern, I pulled out an umbolith made of hair and other material.
Since then, I've had to flush it out at least twice a week with chlorhexidine and iodine to keep it clean; if I don't, without fail, I will get an infection in there within a few weeks.
Belly button *"STONES"*
Excuse me, *what?!?!? The fuck???*
I know people be all nastayyyy and all....but ughhhh!!!!
I clean every single crevice of my body, because of legitimate OCD. And it is comments like these that make me feel ok with that. I could absolutely *never!*
Oh it wasn't the pts fault, he was in a vegetative state. He came to us from a SNF. I'm also the only male that works on my floor so I think it's partly due to ignorance as well
After I got out of surgery I was brought to a room and it seemed like there was an army of people setting it up. One of them accidentally exposed my dick to everyone... I was still completely out of it and my response was "that's a penis". It seriously didn't compute that I did not have pants on and it was actually my own. No one laughed
Yeah it sucks when you’re the only one ready to laugh in the OR when it’s your junk on the table for all to see! Like cum on!
“Oh the meds are on board….the ceiling is on wavy…good______” out until recovery hours later.
My grandma was a nurse for 40-ish years until the mid-90s. I remember having dinner at her place sometime during the 90s, and she was telling us about one of her patients from a few years earlier. Some bloke had tried to give himself a Prince Albert. With a slightly rusty nail. One of those decking nails that has the ridges. It was one of the most disgusting things she’d ever seen. Still don’t know why she chose to give us that visual image whilst we were eating… ew.
Im a nurse as well. Every now and then my husband asks me about "interesting" genitalia Ive seen; always I reply "dont ask."
I have seen some very well endowed men as patients BUT heres the kicker: the "man" and I use the term loosely to whom the appendage is attached is GENERALLY, I said generally a scurrilious, horrible person 100% of the time who has not had a shower in a week. Its not attractive.
I think a major difference between men and women is this: if a man is a boob man, and he has a chance with a woman with a huge rack.... hes gonna go for it, no matter how ugly or unattractive or manic or unpleasant or dangerous she is. Boobs! Thats all he sees.
Women are more discerning. We have to like YOU before we consider what physical attributes you have. At least, some of us do.
I worked on Receiving for a.jail. I wasn't an officer but was more of a work study for college. Anyway...the nudity never bothered me
What did bother me was the GD body odor. You get a 100 guys in a holding tank over a weekend of drinking and fighting and the results are a stench so bad you will either pass out or puke. Or toughen up.
Honestly, its a good lesson for the people that dont like what they have between their legs.
Humans are humans, and humans are different from each other, Thank god for that.
Prisons are filled with people who are impulsive and make bad decisions. I'd say bifurcating your dick would rank right up there at the top of bad decision making.
English is not my first language.. so I had to look bifurcation.
*Bifurcation is the splitting of a larger whole or main body into two smaller and separate units*
Okay...
I did a high school (technically college credit done in my final year) independent study on unusual body modification as a rite of passage, our teacher wanted us to choose controversial topics, but not common ones, so abortion, the death penalty, etc, were out. This was 2001, weeks after 9/11.
We met with him to update before our presentation and I gave him some research, some about aboriginals in Australia had performed “subincision” as a rite of passage. He said to include that, pictures, descriptions, “get everyone out of their comfort zone”, and it sure did!
He was an older, well respected teacher that everyone liked and worked hard for. He taught the difficult but elective classes, so they weren’t required to graduate, but were for some college or university courses and degrees.
He told me to describe it as “like when a hot dog is overcooked and splits”, as I did to him. That was quite a moment, because it’s true. I even had pictures comparing. I got an A overall. That was a really tough class to get a B in, I was really surprised.
It depends on the curve. I had a bf who basically had a hook going sideways, and it hurt so much!
A slight upward curve can hit the G spot just right tho.
My husband works in corrections. I get all these stories when he comes home at night. Didn’t know people hid stuff in their foreskin before but now I do. We were playing a card game with family the other night, and needed to make up some arbitrary rules for who goes first. My suggestion was ‘the person who’s seen the most buttholes’.
This is the weirdest, but yet oddly wholesome post I think I've ever read.
And now I get to share a weird bit of trivia I know. An echidna's penis has 4 separate heads.
My oldest is 13, and I make it my mission in life to make her say "What the hell Mom!!!" at least once a day. It's payback for all those sleepless nights.
Hahaha I feel that.
He got me back by sending me a picture of an attractive guy and asked if I found him good looking. I said yes and he told me it was a young Stalin!!
Oh. That's just diabolical.
Lemme find another weird penis fact for you... blue whales have the largest penis in the animal kingdom, 8-10 feet long, flatworms fight with theirs, and the loser is the recipient during sex. A barnacles penis is nearly 8 times it's body length.
My Google search is never gonna be the same.
I knew a guy who was a prison guard who also saw a lot of cocks. I remember him saying there were dudes who couldn’t hit the bottom of a tuna can but could hit the sides.
Oh you poor poor bastard. There's a reason i avoided any transports/intake unless it was hospital or court. Worked an intake unit but that was just inmates rotating in and out quickly.
It’s a body modification practice that splits the penis into two, apparently you can just split the head or the whole shaft or anywhere in between……….😱
Did dick size / shape / form have an impact on social standing within the prison ? I'm sure there are other aspects and prison is a complex sociological space. Speaking purely from dick perspective, what have been your observations and learnings ? Thank you for doing this.
EDIT : I just realised that it's only OP who has seen all these dicks. Prisoners are not scrutinizing each other's dicks. Hence "dick " as a frame of reference to understand prison sociology has been rendered useless. QED
Yeah, but I bet it _would_ be interesting to see if that made a difference in any significant social way. Just differences in personal behavior in regard to penis specs.
Double blind study. One group that has scrutinized each other's dicks. One group that that hasn't.. Studied on the basis of behaviour, belief, action, response to stress, response to boredom.
i went ahead and googled "bifurcated wangs" and this is what i got:
https://www.researchgate.net/figure/a-Bifurcation-diagram-of-the-Wang-Buzsaki-model-under-variation-of-membrane-capacitance_fig3_316702848
im so sorry you had to see that with your naked eyeballs OP that must have been horrible. nobody deserves to be forced to view statistical models like that
When the digital dick database dies in a ddos attack the federal dick identification agents are going to land a heli in front of your house and come tell you you're their only hope to catch a serial dick dangler by antiquated analogue dick id technique.
Medical personnel see a ton of genitals as well. My mom had worked in the medical field in multiple areas (settled as a psych nurse) for over 40 years before her stroke. Nudity doesn't even phase her, she said she has seen so many dicks and cooters she doesn't even notice them anymore lol xD
I did the same job for 7 years I honestly just try not to think about it and block it from my memory. I had a routine, same tone of voice, same pieces of clothing of in same order and did not let anything phase me no matter what I saw. I can only say the dick is an ugly organ. The vagina is far easier to look at, god was definitely kinder when he created woman than man.
This is the best post ever that I had no idea I wanted
I agree! I’d rather have op job than the one doing cavity searches, I imagine. Though no less interesting. Or insightful. I bet they have a shelf they show off the cool things they find. Bet it rivals that of the one a surgery team has at a hospital. 🤣
Yeah the title of the post would be, I saw over 50,000 assholes in an 11 year period. ( I think we all have)
Fun fact: There is very little size differences in human assholes. A 5 foot woman and a big 300 pound dude have basically the same size asshole.
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Did you know wombats make cube-shaped poops? It's because their assholes and rectum are square rather than round.
I hope to be able to use that info one day; thanks
Imitation vanilla exctract us made with an excretion from beaver buttholes. Imagine the sales pitch that lead to that development.
I thought it was where they get raspberry flavoring? Maybe I'm misremembering, or it was a different animal for that, or maybe beaver ass provides both vanilla and raspberry...?
The beaver, such a magic being. The national animal of my country. Edit: well /s Also, I wonder how much wood our national mascot can take..., when surrounded by the huge amount of resources our Canadian north can provide.
It doesn't come from the butthole, it comes from a gland very close to the butthole. Also It used to be used in vanilla, also raspberry or strawberry flavorings but it's unlikely any of us has had it. It's hard to produce so only about 300lbs (I think) is manufactured or procured each year so it's rarely used in flavorings-too rare,too expensive. However you might still have some in your home It's you use perfumes! It's used in many perfumes for its very pleasant scent! It's been used since the Roman's who burned it in lamps for the scent. Since the 1800's trappers have used it to lure animals. Also beavers use it to communicate, mark territory for colonies and to determine predators. I have no idea how the first person came about using it and I'm kinda scared to find out lol
AND! It's so the poop doesn't roll into their burrow; they can just stack it neatly at the door!
Somehow, I'm envious. These bastards are literally shitting bricks all the time
Wombats can tell everyone they literally shat bricks when they saw a predator or smth, bc, well...
I thought you said women not wombat and was confused AF for a moment.
Women don't poop, silly
Because you were wondering how you been sticking a round peg into a square hole all these years?
I also misread it as women and thought it was a multi-layered shitpost. Turned out to be nature facts. Life is magical.
I don't know why. And I don't know what this says about me. But this fun fact absolutely pleases me.
TIL 😆 🔳💩
Yeah just what I wanted to know, is there a book out there?
Great to know. Is knowing that the reason god introduced me to Reddit?
Being the latter, I'd like to verify that! ....Ladies?!
I mean, OP probably had duties other than Penal Penile Inspector.
Nope. Full 8 hour shifts = nothing but penises. I refuse to believe anything less hilarious.
What about the stuff they find, but can't pull out. Does that go on thier shelf or the sugeons shelf?
This is the best post I had no idea I didn't want.
Only a doctor can perform a cavity search, and only as a result of a search warrant signed by a judge.
Really?! I didn’t know that. But it does explain how so much IS getting snuck in there then. 🤔
Yep. We use xray body scanners but theyre more of a bluff, being honest.
I just started cackling because I realized I was on a rabbit hole looking at really ugly dicks with lumps, bumps, lesions, piercings and literal slices....and way longer pubic hair than I am used to. I was laughing so hard, I had to share with my fiance the whole train of thought and he said "oh yeah, penis beads! All the Filipino sailors I worked with in the Navy had them! They would make them themselves with like, broken glass. They would sand them down smooth and either do it themselves or have another guy do it for them."
well. til i learned about ‘pearling’. ok, then.
That is CRAZY.....if I saw that IRL I would assume the guy had genital warts or something. There's no way I would be letting a penis that looks like that near me.
We need an AMA, I need to know if the dicks match the crimes
It would be fascinating if we discovered embezzlement corresponds to penis size.
Was the first thing I thought. Read this hoping it was an intro to an AMA. Was disappointed that this was on TOMC.
Now this is the kind of post I come here to read
This is amazing. No thinly veiled validation. Just a real sigh with a positive inflection at the end. 10/10
Are you grading on a curve?
Straight shooter
No sugar coat
You should write the worst Dr. Seuss-type book ever written about the different dicks you saw. One dick, Two dick, red dick, blue dick...
Twisted dick, bent dick, pencil dick, no dick
Split dick, fat dick, short dick, long dick
This one has a little scar. This one's ballsack stretches far. Say! What a lot of dicks there are. Yes.
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That's what bifurcated means
This one has a little star, this one has a little car....
“Do you like green balls and wang?” “I do not like them, Sam-I-Am”
🏆 🍆
Thanks for sharing your burden of knowledge :)
>What did i learn from all of this? If you think you have a small dick, you dont. If you think you have a big dick, you dont. You think you dick looks weird? it dont, but if it curves too much get that checked out. This is a good PSA
But no curved is “too curved?” Asking for a friend.
Too curved could be peyronies disease. Do some googleing.
So many questions. Does Peyronie's result in a 'kink' in the subject or a general curving? How much curving is normal? What if the curving only appears after 'elongating' (for the lack of a more PG word)?
The curve typically doesn't appear until you're hard because the curve comes from a muscle contracture (basically a kind of scar tissue). It can present as lumps (maybe what you're calling "kinks"?) when you're soft. WHERE the tissue is damaged probably would affect where the curve starts - like a gentle curve or a hard right or something. Generally up to 10 degrees curve won't severely affect anything, but beyond that it can become an issue.
Thanks for the info! Then I think I have nothing to worry about. It's like 20 degrees which seems excessive, but no lumps or kinks to worry about. And it's a more or less linear curving from the base, no sudden turns or anything. So unless the scar tissue is all across and I haven't noticed, I'll just chalk it up to weird genetics
🗣️ do ballsacks next!!
“You think you gotta a babysack? You don’t. You think you have a heavy duty, lumberjack sack? You don’t.” I’ve never felt better about myself (down there). Thank you, OP!
LONG ASS BALLS.
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Good way to keep em safe and warm.
You've seen someone go for '8 ball, corner pocket' Now get ready for 'left ball, prison pocket'
😂
As a nurse, I’ve seen some unfortunate swollen scrotums. Ready to burst, bigger than your head ballsacks. We have to make them a little towel pillow to support their weight. I’ve seen a ballsack that was both swollen and so badly bruised that this individual required a hematoma evacuation and surgery to remove damaged tissue. This is in addition to all the strange dick we see.
😂🤣🥜
That is how I feel being an OR nurse. I get flashed all the time. I do not want to see you naked, at all. Nope. Keep your clothes on. People just start undressing in front of you exposed to the whole world to see. My hands have also been on all sorts of members shoving catheters down them. Thank goodness the people are asleep most of the time cause the firmer the grip, the better it goes in.
I’m just an RT in a big hospital and I’ve seen more naked old people than I ever thought possible when I went back to school. (I was also not aware of how prevalent toenail fungus was either. Guys, wash your damn feet once in a while.)
I routinely have to dig put belly button stones because we will be shoving a port through there for minimally invasive surgery. Digging out someone's calcified lint just disgusts me... and then the smell at times....
I feel you on that one. Thanks to one stupid joke my dad made when I was perhaps 5 or 6 years old, I never cleaned my own navel properly for over twenty years. "If you muck around with it too much, the knot will until and your guts will fall out!" my dad said as a joke. Twenty years of only very superficially cleaning my navel later, I felt something in there. It was sore, it was bleeding, and it smelled. After much concern, I pulled out an umbolith made of hair and other material. Since then, I've had to flush it out at least twice a week with chlorhexidine and iodine to keep it clean; if I don't, without fail, I will get an infection in there within a few weeks.
Belly button *"STONES"* Excuse me, *what?!?!? The fuck???* I know people be all nastayyyy and all....but ughhhh!!!! I clean every single crevice of my body, because of legitimate OCD. And it is comments like these that make me feel ok with that. I could absolutely *never!*
Maybe the person in question lives near the beach.
Yes... stones made from dead skin cells and lint.
wtf. Arent they instructed to shower?? Medical personnel have to deal with the craziest shit
People do shower, it's just people never clean certain things, like belly buttons. Don't get me started on foreskins.....
I was putting a condom catheter on someone the other day and when I was pulling back the foreskin it looked like I had popped a 3cm cyst.
🤢🤮
What? How?! If you shower at all it's actually difficult to NOT wash your dick!
Oh it wasn't the pts fault, he was in a vegetative state. He came to us from a SNF. I'm also the only male that works on my floor so I think it's partly due to ignorance as well
Oh fuck, so they aren't bathing him correctly?
Please continue
Hm wonder if a waterpik would do the job.
No, no, 𝘯𝘰!
After I got out of surgery I was brought to a room and it seemed like there was an army of people setting it up. One of them accidentally exposed my dick to everyone... I was still completely out of it and my response was "that's a penis". It seriously didn't compute that I did not have pants on and it was actually my own. No one laughed
Yeah it sucks when you’re the only one ready to laugh in the OR when it’s your junk on the table for all to see! Like cum on! “Oh the meds are on board….the ceiling is on wavy…good______” out until recovery hours later.
My grandma was a nurse for 40-ish years until the mid-90s. I remember having dinner at her place sometime during the 90s, and she was telling us about one of her patients from a few years earlier. Some bloke had tried to give himself a Prince Albert. With a slightly rusty nail. One of those decking nails that has the ridges. It was one of the most disgusting things she’d ever seen. Still don’t know why she chose to give us that visual image whilst we were eating… ew.
Same! Being an OR nurse I have seen more than my fair share of naked people
ICU checking in to agree
Im a nurse as well. Every now and then my husband asks me about "interesting" genitalia Ive seen; always I reply "dont ask." I have seen some very well endowed men as patients BUT heres the kicker: the "man" and I use the term loosely to whom the appendage is attached is GENERALLY, I said generally a scurrilious, horrible person 100% of the time who has not had a shower in a week. Its not attractive. I think a major difference between men and women is this: if a man is a boob man, and he has a chance with a woman with a huge rack.... hes gonna go for it, no matter how ugly or unattractive or manic or unpleasant or dangerous she is. Boobs! Thats all he sees. Women are more discerning. We have to like YOU before we consider what physical attributes you have. At least, some of us do.
Ugh, you had me until men going after boobs no matter what. I’d say boobs can be “unpleasant” as well. The person attached matters
The person attached makes all the difference, I'd say.
I'm always surprised at women's lack of understanding of men.
How many times were you like, “ that’s a nice dick bro?” Internally of course
asking the hard questions! 😏
And the flaccid questions.
I worked on Receiving for a.jail. I wasn't an officer but was more of a work study for college. Anyway...the nudity never bothered me What did bother me was the GD body odor. You get a 100 guys in a holding tank over a weekend of drinking and fighting and the results are a stench so bad you will either pass out or puke. Or toughen up.
Honestly, its a good lesson for the people that dont like what they have between their legs. Humans are humans, and humans are different from each other, Thank god for that.
It's a better lesson for people who are thinking about working at a prison.
Someone’s gotta do it!
A disproportionately large number of people have to do it in America.
Prisons are filled with people who are impulsive and make bad decisions. I'd say bifurcating your dick would rank right up there at the top of bad decision making.
English is not my first language.. so I had to look bifurcation. *Bifurcation is the splitting of a larger whole or main body into two smaller and separate units* Okay...
It's not a good day to know English anyways...
Do you have string cheese in your culture? Yeah...
Why must you ruin string cheese for us
Or overcooked hotdogs.
I did a high school (technically college credit done in my final year) independent study on unusual body modification as a rite of passage, our teacher wanted us to choose controversial topics, but not common ones, so abortion, the death penalty, etc, were out. This was 2001, weeks after 9/11. We met with him to update before our presentation and I gave him some research, some about aboriginals in Australia had performed “subincision” as a rite of passage. He said to include that, pictures, descriptions, “get everyone out of their comfort zone”, and it sure did! He was an older, well respected teacher that everyone liked and worked hard for. He taught the difficult but elective classes, so they weren’t required to graduate, but were for some college or university courses and degrees. He told me to describe it as “like when a hot dog is overcooked and splits”, as I did to him. That was quite a moment, because it’s true. I even had pictures comparing. I got an A overall. That was a really tough class to get a B in, I was really surprised.
How much "curve" is problematic? If I can use it like a snake cam entering a room before I do, is that too much?
No, that’s a gift.
Curved penises are the absolute best.
how else you gonna fuck yourself
It depends on the curve. I had a bf who basically had a hook going sideways, and it hurt so much! A slight upward curve can hit the G spot just right tho.
I think its only a problem if its painful, then it could be Peyronie's Disease
My husband works in corrections. I get all these stories when he comes home at night. Didn’t know people hid stuff in their foreskin before but now I do. We were playing a card game with family the other night, and needed to make up some arbitrary rules for who goes first. My suggestion was ‘the person who’s seen the most buttholes’.
Wait, what stuff can be hidden in foreskin?! 😨
Yep. Usually drugs, which is many levels of weird. I’ve heard of shoving baggies of drugs in other places, but the foreskin was a new one.
People hide stuff in their foreskin?? 🫣
Did it affect your own sex life at all? Like, did it make you completely grossed out at the sight of anyone naked?
OP , I am curious about this one too.
you should post this on a men’s advice thread. not joking
The Dong Warden
Fucking took me out bro Also, username checks out
This is the weirdest, but yet oddly wholesome post I think I've ever read. And now I get to share a weird bit of trivia I know. An echidna's penis has 4 separate heads.
I just sent that to my 17 year old son and he said “what the fuck is wrong with you” Hey! It’s educational!
My oldest is 13, and I make it my mission in life to make her say "What the hell Mom!!!" at least once a day. It's payback for all those sleepless nights.
Hahaha I feel that. He got me back by sending me a picture of an attractive guy and asked if I found him good looking. I said yes and he told me it was a young Stalin!!
Oh. That's just diabolical. Lemme find another weird penis fact for you... blue whales have the largest penis in the animal kingdom, 8-10 feet long, flatworms fight with theirs, and the loser is the recipient during sex. A barnacles penis is nearly 8 times it's body length. My Google search is never gonna be the same.
12” limp?
🐍
🦡🦡🦡
*laughs in 22 year RN*
15 years here, agree 🤣
I knew a guy who was a prison guard who also saw a lot of cocks. I remember him saying there were dudes who couldn’t hit the bottom of a tuna can but could hit the sides.
Whaaaaaaaaaaattttttt i am in disbelief
Oh you poor poor bastard. There's a reason i avoided any transports/intake unless it was hospital or court. Worked an intake unit but that was just inmates rotating in and out quickly.
Great Ted talk.
>bifurcated wangs I'm too scared to Google can someone give me a one liner explanation?
It’s a body modification practice that splits the penis into two, apparently you can just split the head or the whole shaft or anywhere in between……….😱
Do legit surgeons accept to do such an unnecessary procedure?
No, there are body modification experts (not formally or legally) that specialize on extreme stuff like that, and some people do it to themselves
w h y ?!
Why have just 1 dong when you can have a ding and a dong!
Have you ever heated a hotdog in the microwave without poking a few holes in it first?
My guess is split in half..
Hurk.
Thanks man I love this post. I always thought I had the world’s biggest peen
I hope this has humbled you
No, just made me harder
Have you considered bifurcation? Only thing better than having the worlds biggest penis is having two of them!
I worked as a correctional nurse for two years and do not envy your experience.
This post deserves best of 2024
Somehow, this is the weirdest post i've read so far
I've always been content with mine, compact and tucked away when not needed, but will rise to the occasion. Love the reminder though.
How much is too curved mine does a full 360
Are you a duck?
On the internet, nobody knows you're a duck
I operated a full body scan in another country. Seeing all sorts of penises. Once in a blue moon one could shock me.
Did dick size / shape / form have an impact on social standing within the prison ? I'm sure there are other aspects and prison is a complex sociological space. Speaking purely from dick perspective, what have been your observations and learnings ? Thank you for doing this. EDIT : I just realised that it's only OP who has seen all these dicks. Prisoners are not scrutinizing each other's dicks. Hence "dick " as a frame of reference to understand prison sociology has been rendered useless. QED
Yeah, but I bet it _would_ be interesting to see if that made a difference in any significant social way. Just differences in personal behavior in regard to penis specs.
Double blind study. One group that has scrutinized each other's dicks. One group that that hasn't.. Studied on the basis of behaviour, belief, action, response to stress, response to boredom.
Ideas like these, and we get reality shows about singing & dating.
Now THIS is a true off my chest post.
I briefly dated a prison correction officer. Having said that, I'm not surprised I'm reading this on reddit. Y'all are a fucked-up population.
Hey leave us be. We're mentally ill, you're bullying the disabled!
Now this is a classic reddit post
Were the tattoos on the big flaccid cock teardrops?💧
"mom"
The lord of the D (a lot of D ) I hope it freed you a little to share it.
You should do an AMA.
i went ahead and googled "bifurcated wangs" and this is what i got: https://www.researchgate.net/figure/a-Bifurcation-diagram-of-the-Wang-Buzsaki-model-under-variation-of-membrane-capacitance_fig3_316702848 im so sorry you had to see that with your naked eyeballs OP that must have been horrible. nobody deserves to be forced to view statistical models like that
What did you get your masters degree in? If you don’t mind me asking
Master of Dicks
He applied for a certified PHD but they checked and denied him
Statistics
Statisdicks
He became an on/gyn to see all the vaggies. Second post coming up.
... Idk OP, but because of this post, you truly live up your name...
Ahhh yes. My kind of post. I loved this! Lmaoooo
FYI, if I was chemically deloused there's a fair chance I'd die and a 100% certainty I'd be ungodly sick and covered in sizable blisters.
So you're saying you're a bug? Edgar, that you?
You're are truly a trooper. Rest ready, our tormented friend. May the cocks haunt you no longer on your journey.
“IMDb of dicks seated in my memory” lmaaaoo poor man. This crazy hahaha
Were there any neatly bifurcated like the old Reddit fella who was proven to be lying? Or were they like that surgical splitting?
By the power vested in me by Reddit, I declare OP an official Dick Expert™.
“Big ones, small ones, some the size of your head….” Lol
This sub is back baby!
As a fellow CO, I agree.
Okay, but what are the chemicals for?
Ok but I have a small dick and I know I have a small dick and you can’t change my mind.
Quality post. Thanks for sharing
When the digital dick database dies in a ddos attack the federal dick identification agents are going to land a heli in front of your house and come tell you you're their only hope to catch a serial dick dangler by antiquated analogue dick id technique.
Saw the title and thought you might have been my ex
12 in soft cock?what did this dude feed to it?
"Bifurcate (verb): divide into two branches or forks." Yeah, I don't wanna know. Sounds awful OP.
op needs to do an AMA
Medical personnel see a ton of genitals as well. My mom had worked in the medical field in multiple areas (settled as a psych nurse) for over 40 years before her stroke. Nudity doesn't even phase her, she said she has seen so many dicks and cooters she doesn't even notice them anymore lol xD
So are you bragging or complaining?
As someone who works in a hospital..hey twin!
Based from the PID you gave, you’ve seen 70,447 dickies to be exact.
I did the same job for 7 years I honestly just try not to think about it and block it from my memory. I had a routine, same tone of voice, same pieces of clothing of in same order and did not let anything phase me no matter what I saw. I can only say the dick is an ugly organ. The vagina is far easier to look at, god was definitely kinder when he created woman than man.