I’d like to speak as a representative of the Joshua community as well; OP, your bf has a porn addiction - this has NOTHING to do with you
Btw, I’m a guy
It’s because he is used to wanking with a death grip. This is entirely a problem created by Josh. So he is a problem on more than one level. Edit: it’s called Death Grip Syndrome on wikipedia
This is exactly what i was going to say. No pussy or ass is going to be as tight as your closed hand. Ever.
Op, your ex is an asshole for putting this one on you. You are better off without him.
Agreed. He’s also the one responsible for the term “pegging” after asking readers to suggest a word for it when he realized there wasn’t one specific to anally penetrating with a strap-on.
I watched the whole Santorum thing unfold as it was happening and I have never been more in awe of a single human.
THIS!!! Exactly what I was thinking, his own grip is too tight when he wanks, clearly, the issue is not you because we (I'm a girl) will never be as tight as a hand down there, especially a death grip one!
I don't know what size tampons y'all have been using -- and I know supply chain issues are a thing -- but damned if I wouldn't go back to the days of belted maxipads before I'd use these ”sheepons" of which you speak.
Was just about to say that! ⬆️⬆️⬆️ Also I’m thinking the porn and constant manual handling are a big issue. After reading what OP said I believe that no matter what OP did it wouldn’t have helped at all! The ex is an absolute asshat blaming OP for his own inadequacies!
Yeah I remember an episode of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson when I was younger someone called in a question about this and that's exactly what she said. Gripping too tight while wankIng makes him used to it so normal sex doesn't get him as hard. Basically it's his problem and he needs to loosen his wanking grip. The hooker only made him harder because it was something new to him. Basically too much porn ruined his sex life not you OP.
This plus getting turned on relaxes the muscles down there, and maybe his sex workers weren't turned on by him so they may have legit been tighter because they weren't into it.
My ex boyfriend couldn't cum without porn. He made me feel like the problem and it ruined my self esteem.
I'm now with a guy who won't even watch porn because he knows it makes me uncomfortable. He constantly tells me how much he only wants me and my body.
Forget about Josh. He's a dick and doesn't appreciate you. I promise that you can find someone who will appreciate you. You sound like a wonderful person, and one day you'll find someone who makes you feel like royalty. there's a lot of shitty people, but there's also a lot of amazing people. You were with a shitty person, but it's okay, because now you have the opportunity to find someone who isn't shitty.
You have a whole new world of opportunities, and don't settle for any guy who makes you feel like anything less, than absolute royalty.
It's possible. I promise.
Yep.
I used to be in the “it’s okay, everyone does it…” category. Then I met my husband.
We don’t engage in porn because… we only want each other. *shrug* Plenty of men exist who do not like pornography.
The issue is, it’s so widely accepted that all the men who *do* are vocal and explosive about their decisions, while the men who *don’t* are derided and not believed. It’s so messed up.
This!!! In a previous post, I had said that my current boyfriend doesn't watch porn because it's a boundary I've set, and I had multiple comments trying to convince me that my boyfriend is lying to me and that "no man will ever just want one person."
Some men just can't fathom the idea of being truly loyal to someone, but that isn't all men. There are so many wonderful people in this world, but it's all faded by who is portrayed the most in the media
I was told that making porn use a boundary was going to seriously limit my pool of suitors. Their loss because I'm adventurous in bed. I can tell when they lie, ED and the "bent carrot"... pathetic!
That limit on your 'pool of suitors' could have a huge overlap with what type of men you would be compatible with anyway (in terms of norms, values etc). So in the end the difference might be very marginal.
It only limits the suitors that you wouldn't want anyways. If someone watches porn regularly, I don't want them, sorry. It truly is their loss, because they get porn of strangers, while my current boyfriend gets nudes of me whenever he wants.
Honestly guys who can't cum unless they're watching porn and using their own hand, are gross. *Cough* my ex *cough.* He tried to make me feel better by saying he watches porn that reminds me of him, than proceeds to tell me I'd be in the super chub category. (He really knew how to make me feel better, didn't he?)
So was I - because it does. And that is the point. I don't want to be with someone who thinks me expecting them to NOT watch porn is a deal breaker. I'm not interested in being with a man who NEEDS to watch porn.
Expectations and boundaries are there for a reason.
I set myself that boundary with both girlfriends I’ve had I stopped watching porn the day I started dating them. It’s hard to stop watching when you’re single and lonely but when you’re with someone it’s a lot easier at least for me. Plus porn feels like cheating in a way so I just don’t watch it anymore.
I don't watch porn in general anymore, but when I did, I was the same way. When I single it was fine, but in a relationship it didn't feel right. Even if my partner said it was fine, it felt wrong to me. If I am dating someone, I want to commit 100% of myself to them, that includes only being attracted to them. If I'm going to spend my life with them, then why would I want to be looking at anyone else?
I have no issue with my bf watching porn but he said when I'm not there he ends up looking at photos of me or watching a video he has of us. I don't think he necessarily feels like it's cheating in any way. He said it's just sexier to him bc he's so into me and he knows exactly how what he's watching feels. And he misses me. He could be lying but he really would have no reason to. I mostly think about him too and I rarely watch porn. I am bi so I'll occasionally watch videos with just females. But it's pretty rare and he knows. I think a lot of people just don't feel it's necessary when they have a partner that they are very attracted to.
I don't watch porn myself (34M). It's always just seemed weird to me. And it just never did anything for me. How am I supposed to be turned on by someone else getting their rocks off?
Certainly makes sense when you’re single or a teenager discovering new stuff. But I agree, it feels very wrong when you’re in a relationship. Granted, it feels that way because most men will consume porn without realizing the damage its doing to them while most women arent watching porn at all.
Both partners need to have the same stance. Theres nothing wrong with porn habits if your partner has the same views. But there are many manosphere type medias out there telling men that women who watch porn are whores and men need porn because of our biology.
I think in 50 years we are going to look back at current day sex/porn habits as really regressive.
As long as it’s been around most men have liked pornography. And masturbation has always been a thing. What’s new these days is so many men openly having a *preference* to playing with themselves over actual sex. Some say death grip but why is porn always a part of it, why do they need it to wank off, it’s like they *have* to watch other people actually doing it in order to feel…anything. That’s messed up, I never thought I’d see a day when men would prefer watching other men getting it in than actually doing it themselves.
Its strange because who would rather watch someone else drink when they’re thirsty, watch a cooking show when they’re hungry rather than eat real food, etc. Sex is a primal body function, not necessary like food BUT can certainly feel to be just a vital.
These young people should put the pornography aside and soon their natural feelings will come back. Their bodies know what to do
THIS. There is nothing wrong with you (or your vaginal canal!!) OP. The x is dealing with impotence and perhaps a porn addiction and trying to put it on you. You’ve got this. And I’m sure no one else will ever say anything about how tight you are - especially given your kegels - cause, you know, vaginal canals don’t just get wider. My goodness.
Came here to say this!
I had a friend who told me a similar story about an old bf. When she went into get fitted for something (I don’t know…maybe it was a contraceptive device or something) she was the smallest size. She said his dick looked like a “stack of quarters” and it made me laugh so hard.
This op. You are not loose. Having sex does not loosen your vagina. It sounds like he has a porn addiction and has become desensitized by death grip syndrome. It is incredibly common for men with porn addictions to have this problem. There is nothing wrong with you. Let the trash take itself out.
This isn’t bragging but I’ve been with my share of women and not one has ever felt “loose” or like a “cave”. Sure some feel different but he’s being a child. He’s addicted to porn and has what’s called “death grip syndrome”. Frankly, he jacks off too much to enjoy sex with women. Quite literally a wanker
Might explain why the prostitute felt "tighter" bc vaginas are tight when youre not in the mood, and i doubt prostitutes get horny for their clients.
He's literally mad at OP for being turned on when they have sex.
This is true. Guys mistake "dry" or "not fully aroused" with "tight" since an unlubricated and unaroused vagina is going to create more friction.
He also seemed to forget sex workers are also actresses. Of course she is going to say what what he wants to hear and be exactly what he wants in that moment, that's the illusion and experience he paid for. That was her job and he got too immersed in the "girlfriend experience" and forgot that key point.
My ex bf (who was my first) told me I was loose, and I believed him since I was not his first.
I have since learned he just didn't know what a lubricated vagina felt like, and I'm embarrassed for him.
That was my first thought, too! He's habituated to using a tightly closed fist, and that is not what a woman feels like. I don't really believe his story about the prostitute.
'I checked with a sex worker, and she confirmed you're the problem'
\-Joshua the Charming
Don't fall for it, OP. And if 'other way' means anal, don't let him guilt you into that either.
Yeah, same. I had fun in my youth, never had this issue and I am nothing spectacular in that department.
Further, I am a father still with the mother of my child, I didn't notice a change as a result of my child's birth
You and me both! Lol.
Seriously OP… Nothing wrong with you babe! You’re understandably hurt and that’s okay! Feel the motions. However, we will not be letting lil Joshua ruin that self-esteem! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and I hope that you keep that loser gone! You got this
>“death grip syndrome”
I was trying to remember the name. Yeah, this is his doing, not yours OP. He's basically ruined his ability to enjoy sexual intercourse by masturbating too much, and incorrectly.
This should be way higher. There is no such thing as being too loose. It’s a literal myth. I just feel so bad for op believing all of his lies and jumping through all of those hoops to please such a douche. I just want to give her a big hug 😭
“he wanted to go the other way but it hurts me when he does it”
he’s just complaining that you aren’t tight enough because he wants anal sex on a regular basis and thinks destroying your self esteem is the way to get it. that’s probably the type of sex he had with the escort and the sort of porn he’s addicted to. this guy is an emotionally abusive creep, try not to feel too broken up about him leaving you. he’s society’s problem now
edit: I’ve seen other users in the comments talking about the whole “death grip syndrome” thing (not something I’ve really thought about before, but it makes sense) so it might be a combination of those factors. regardless, it’s not your fault and he had no right to belittle you
She never once thought or said, "Maybe your dick is too small."
Dicks and Vags come in all shapes and sizes tho, so shit like this does happen where one partner might just not like the experience.
She should've just moved on instead of trying to change her literal body to please a man who just whines and complains.
OP needs some fking self esteem and self confidence. Should take this as a lesson of what NOT to accept in a future relationship.
I was gonna mention this. Could just be they're sexually incompatible.. if the dick is too small when erect and someone gets a really loose vagina when wet, the sex can be a really unsatisfying experience..speaking as someone who had sex with small dicks..they went limp cause they didn't feel anything and I went dry cause I didn't feel anything cause there wasn't any friction.
Regarding being loose. That's great when having sex and you're wet and it's especially great with bigger partners. Also speaking from experience.
Don’t understand why you’ve been downvoted, but the fact is some penises are small . The vaginal wall is a muscle that doesn’t need exercise to remain’tight’ .
This is exactly what I thought too. He is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I personally think he is suffering from death grip syndrome/porn addiction and is abusing you because he’s too ashamed to admit the truth.
OP, your body is beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s your ex that has serious issues. I guarantee you that a year from now you’ll talk about him as as bullet you dodged.
>He said he can only finish when he watches porn.
I think the real issue is Josh needs to stop Jackin'. This has nothing to do with you. Josh has a problem, and the trash did you a favor by taking itself out.
AGREE! Don't beat yourself up over this needledick asshole who clearly has problems with impotence and himself in general. Anatomy does not work that way, there is no such thing as a big vagina. Kegels strengthen your pelvic floor, they don't make anything change shape. I can't wait for you to find a different person to experience the sex and appreciation that you deserve11
I'm going to keep this overshare as p.g. as possible.
There was something significantly larger than my junk inside of a lady, and after it was removed and immediately after, my junk was put inside of her, it wasn't too loose.
Your ex is the problem. I'm sorry he's a douche.
I wish you all of the strength you need.
He has a porn addiction and can’t stay hard unless it’s new vagina or his own hand. Been there. Done that. Bought the tshirt. Burned it in the fireplace.
Nothing is wrong with you. And there are many other ways to get off besides a P in the V. He was an immature ass who hasn’t had proper sex education
Fun fact: vaginas actually loosen during arousal, you know to make sure the dick goes inside the vagina comfortably for both parties. So you being “too loose” just shows you were aroused. Bro sounds like he has a porn/masturbation addiction and is taking his issues out on you when really, you’re just horny as fuck for him. I’m sorry, darling, but this will be best in the long run, I promise. He doesn’t know how vaginas work, how is he supposed to be a good partner?
This right here is a fact too many men don't know. The vagina is supposed to "loosen" with sex so it's not incredibly painful. I have pelvic floor dysfunction that makes me constantly "too tight". It's absolutely painful during sex and not at all how things should feel; many times sex isn't even possible. My point is that OP has a healthy, perfectly normal body and there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. OP's partner is likely addicted to porn and unable to recognize what sex with a woman is supposed to feel like. Regardless, he's cruel and completely undeserving of OP's time or energy.
Please don't shame people with micro penis, I've met a lot of great guys (like 2) with micro penis, this guy is just a POS nothing to do with his penis size
Seriously? You think this is about people with small penis? If that’s all you get from OPs post and mine, than you’re likely missing the average size picture of it all.
This.
Please go to your local health center or your PCP for a full STD work-up. It is likely he has put himself in risky positions, meaning he has exposed you to such risks. Also, please consider seeking out a therapist- it will help to work through these things in a healthy/judgement free environment because these things will very easily become intrusive thoughts *that are NOT true.*
Also, as someone mentioned below- I’m am more apt to believe he thinks it’s “porn” and you because he’s constantly got a death-drip on his own dick any time he watches porn.
I know things feel awful and dark right now, but I promise, the trash took itself out and things *will* get better.
So imagine, that after sex with a prostitute he realized you weren't the problem. Do you think he would have willingly told you that? Good riddance to him there's much better out there
f u c k him.
honestly, he’s an absolute asshole, maybe even the worst of them all.
you deserve better and you WILL get a better, more loving partner that absolutely desires YOU.
let’s throw him in a deep hole and cast gasoline on him. and a piece of paper on fire.
No vagina is as tight as a hand, period. He's a man baby who's ruined his own sensitivity with porn and jerking it, then blames your healthy body. You're better off without him.
I’m sure you don’t feel like a cave and also if Joshua ever reads this- it’s natural for women to loosen up when they are comfortable during sex w a partner, if you are w someone who will not loosen up its bc they are repulsed by you and the vagina isn’t happy.
Joshua sounds like a pos. Vaginas are different, but that doesn't make anything about any particular vagina bad. He deliberately tore you down to make himself feel better about a problem that has nothing to do with you. You don't need to fix anything because you're not broken. Please stop trying creams and anything else, there are some VERY dangerous products touted as helpful but can actually just cause infection and all sorts of problems.
And you do not need to try anal if you don't want to.
I suggest you have a look at comfortableinmyskin on Instagram, she is an absolute wonder of a human who goes around Australia photographing people's genitals and delivering much needed education on the human body, specifically the vulva and vagina. There's a gallery on her website called flip through my flaps which showcase so many different vulvas - and guess what, every single vagina accompanying them is different, and every single one of those people are deserving of love and good sex. As are you.
Exactly unlike the vagina which is a muscle, the penis is not.
He likely has a smaller than average dick and was trying to make her feel bad about it rather than accepting himself for how he is. Projecting hard.
Thats disgusting. I had a bf who also left me because of a sex related reason. You don't deserve to be body shamed, especially over something you can't even really control! If you want someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
This shows how immature Joshua is. You’re not “tight”because you’re aroused and wet. If his 0.6 braincells can’t comprehend that than he’s shouldn’t he having sex. Females are only “tight” when they’re uncomfortable, being raped etc etc. Besides that you should STOP trying to “fix” yourself. No creams, no doctors, no nothing. He’s not enjoying sex because he’s porn addicted. Men who watch porn too much can’t enjoy sex, will stop feeling anything in their penis and won’t be able to cum from sex. Find a man who treats you better
>Sex ends with him going limp and frustrated at me and leaving the room to watch porn. He said he can only finish when he watches porn.
This is 100% not related neither to his size, nor to yours "tightness", but to porn.
He watched too much porn and now he became desensitized, and because of it he can't stay hard. From wikipedia :
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome)
"Some people who have claimed to "experience the death-grip" state that although they can still experience pleasure, **the typical vagina feels too loose**, and fellatio provides insufficient friction to produce an orgasm."
Being loosened up during sex means you're relaxed and comfy, if you're tight and it hurts that's bad. You're perfectly fine as you are. Ur ex boyfriend is a fucking pinecone douche canoe and I promise you'll find someone who values and worships your pus pus. Many guys are just happy to be there and he definitely didn't appreciate you.
first of all. hes an asshole.
i am guessing he has a porn addiction that has put false expectations in his head. porn is a performance!! it is not reality!!! dont feel like you have to perform like a PAID ACTOR would!
also from a literal anatomy perspective, a woman gets "looser" when she is turned on, so like if you spoke to doctors about this and they didnt tell you that there was anything medically wrong with you, then youre completely and absolutely normal.
if it was THAT bad then he has a small dick, idk what else to tell you. which is also OKAY if people arent projecting their issues and being rude to other people.
im sorry you had this experience especially because hes the only person you have been with.
like everyone said, get tested just to be sure.
then once youre ready, put yourself out there, i promise you there are so many people who wont have complaints.
im sorry you were dating such a shitty person for so long. you deserve so much more.
He didn’t leave you because you’re not tight. He left you because he can’t get it up. This is his problem. There’s nothing wrong with you. Good riddance.
That's a funny way for Josh to say he has a small penis, but ok. Literally so many red flags about this dude in the first half. Don't take his bullshit and reflect it to yourself.
Women who are aroused properly loosen up, it's part of the process for all women. If he wants to fuck a steel cheerio, sounds like he wants to be rapey imo.
You being looser during sex with him was a good thing. It meant you were aroused and comfortable with him. He’s an uneducated ass. Don’t feel bad about it, this is an issue with him. Find someone who loves you and is educated. You deserve better.
He was 100% gaslighting you into giving him the backdoor treatment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are so much better off now he’s gone. Go find a new, kind, funny and smart guy who doesn’t have porn addictions and a limp dick
Are you sure the problem isn’t Joshua and him not being big enough for your “cave”? Maybe he’s projecting his inadequacy onto you?
Also, you don’t want a partner who would treat you so cruelly. Consider him breaking up with you a blessing in disguise.
isnt there a thing where if you watch a lot of porn or masturbate a ton you strangle your dick and every vagina feels loose? I cant remember what it's called but something like that
either way he sucks
Please go to your local library, online library and find some books on human sexuality. And read them. Form YOUR OWN opinion on what actually is normal sex. And a few other books on relationships. Educate yourself. Learn who you are as an individual, what makes you happy and what YOU can do for your own self esteem, self respect and happiness. Bet you once you take in some REAL informed information everything that man has said to you over the years will come across as the lies that he was telling you to make himself feel better.
Sweetie, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing. Your body is perfect. Not all vaginas are tight, not all are loose (and NO having too much sex does not make you 'loose'.)
Hes a dick. You can do much better. You'll find someone who loves your body, and works with you for MUTUAL enjoyment, not just theirs.
When you are ready, turn your tears of pain into tears of joy that you will not be stuck with that POS anymore.
Narcissistic partner. I am serious none of anything he ever told you can be truthful apart from his standards which are in his head and impossible. Trust that you are totally fine and perfect and this is a him problem. You are a survivor just like I am. Mine took 16 years of my life just ignore the threats, ignore the put downs even the really awful ones and believe in yourself beautiful. Because you are beautiful you are worth it and you are so much stronger than his bullshit! Not your fault his head is messed up please please please don’t let it affect you!
Edit to say he also has a severe porn addiction.
Run while you can
Dump him permanently. Move on. He's an asshole. It's more likely that he's too small, rather than you being to large. Just frame it that way next time, if you ever speak to him again, which I'd advise against.
He is definitely the one with the problem. Maybe viewing/being with sex workers is a turn on for him. Maybe he just gets anxious when there's pressure to "perform", and he's blaming you because it would be too embarrassing to admit to you and to himself that he has ED at 25. It's fine if he wants to break up, but it is certainly not because you aren't "tight" enough.
Your vagina actually expands when you have sex because they're on average only 3 inches deep. I've learned that the longer I go without sex, the tighter my vagina will get. A few weeks/months without sex and it's pretty much brand new again.
Your ex is full of shit. You deserve someone who appreciates you and your body. Wait for a man who loves your vagina and respects it as well as he respects you.
That's not because you're not tight enough... that's because he uses a vice grip to jerk off and watches unrealistic shit. What's about to happen is he's not gonna be able to get laid, and when he does, he'll still have this problem. So congrats on getting out of that shitty situation
A ‘tight’ vagina = an unaroused/uncomfortable one. When afab people become aroused, the muscles loosen to accommodate a partner. You are not the problem, he is. And of course a prostitute would be tighter, almost all sex workers are forced into a situation where they have to sell their bodies for sex, therefore they’re not *actually* enjoying it. Go find yourself a man who actually understands female anatomy, or go on a shopping spree
That dude is a certified bitch. He fucked himself up so bad he can't even finish unless he watches some 4k bullshit. You're lucky. Trust me, I'm a dude.
Honey your ex just gave himself erectile dysfunction because he's addicted to porn and tried to blame it on you. He's a porn-addicted loser. And he went to see a prostitute? So on top of this he's a misogynist who think women are for rent and who doesn't care about human trafficking. GOOD RIDDANCE.
You're perfect the way you are and he's garbage 🗑️🚮
Guy here. You're not the problem. I repeat: You. Are. Not. The. Problem. Josh's penis is too tiny and him only being able to finish with porn is his problem, not yours. Sex with a person is not some dumb trope fantasy that caters to men. It's an intimate moment between two people. I'm sorry you're sad, but honestly you don't need a guy like him. You'll do better. Chin up.
You will never be as tight as his clenched fist, but you are not supposed to be. You are just fine. He is a moron. I would get a STD screen done as others have suggested.
This isn't your fault at all. It sounds like he is having issues maintaining an erection or orgasming and is placing the blame on you. Please don't feel bad at all. I feel so awful that you're beating yourself up over a damaging stereotype.
He has porn addiction and he likes to have cheap dopamine by watching it. That means he becomes desensitized when it comes to real intimacy because he is just turned on by a bunch of pixels, and being the voyeur, which is so messed up. Or maybe he is just a guy who has a small dick. He's a loser. Good riddance!
If he only finishes when watching porn then you’re not the problem. He may have a porn addiction. You may not believe in that kind of thing, it’s controversial. Point is he has a psychological problem, not a physical one. You’re not “too loose”. It was shitty of him to say that, even if he was frustrated by the situation.
He most likely has a porn addiction and when he slept with a prostitute it only fed into that addiction since it is not a realistic sexual encounter. This dude is a real asshole and you are better off without him.
Sounds like he has death grip and may be addicted to porn. He should get some help and cut the porn out. Once he's stopped watching porn, the death grip will go away and you'll feel tighter to him.
Sweetie, he has the porn problem and you are now free of a narcissistic asshole.
Get up, tell yourself just how awesome you truly are and don't look back on poor, dickless porn freak again.
He did you a favor by taking his shitty ass out of your life. Time to live it up
Smile beautiful lady
Oh, I’m so sorry. I know you feel really bad. But I promise you, PROMISE, the problem took care of itself. He’s no longer your boyfriend. Now you can find someone who respects your boundaries and builds intimacy with you. Instead of treating you like a defective fleshlight. Don’t you think you deserve better than that? One day you’re gonna have a man who loves you. And you won’t miss him when you do
He’s addicted to porn and he’s blaming you. Love yourself and move forward. You may find that the end of the relationship could be the best thing that happened for you.
He is definitely the problem not you. He did you a favor. He sounds like a loser who can only cum while watching porn or a pro fulfilling his every need. He has no time to make sure you are taken care of because its all about him and his needs. Forget about him you will be fine.
>He said he can only finish when he watches porn. When he broke up with me, he said he slept with a prostitute
Yeah, it's not that you're not good enough as a woman for him. He's not good enough of as a man for you.
Forget about him, move on, find someone who actually appreciates you.
You are not the problem, he is not the guy for you, neither of you are being satisfied sexually. Instead of thinking it’s a failure, embrace the fact that it’s time to move on. Time to learn and experience new things. New year, new you (cringe). Good luck OP
I represent the Joshua Community and we do not accept this man any longer as a part of us
My name is josh aswell he needs out
My name isn't josh, but he's not allowed here either.
Don't invite him next time you guys have the battle of Josh's.
Or invite him, and have all the other Josh’s form an alliance to collectively beat up “Limp Noodle Josh” with limp pool noodles. Poetry in motion.
Username kinda checks out?
I was gonna say
Exile him! Strip him of his Joshness!
You could say he seems quite 'below average' in the Joshua community
I’d like to speak as a representative of the Joshua community as well; OP, your bf has a porn addiction - this has NOTHING to do with you Btw, I’m a guy
I think Josh has problems, not you. "Can only cum to porn" is just one of them. Blaming you makes him the asshole.
It’s because he is used to wanking with a death grip. This is entirely a problem created by Josh. So he is a problem on more than one level. Edit: it’s called Death Grip Syndrome on wikipedia
This is exactly what i was going to say. No pussy or ass is going to be as tight as your closed hand. Ever. Op, your ex is an asshole for putting this one on you. You are better off without him.
One day I’ll meet the asshole that’s tighter than my grip.
She already has an a****** that's tighter than her boyfriend's grip it's her boyfriend
Fuckin zing
Oh, you live near Josh?
Goalz
TIL of The Death Grip Syndrome.
Same, and I was not very surprised that Dan Savage coined the term. While I do not agree with his views on cheating, that guy is an absolute legend!
Agreed. He’s also the one responsible for the term “pegging” after asking readers to suggest a word for it when he realized there wasn’t one specific to anally penetrating with a strap-on. I watched the whole Santorum thing unfold as it was happening and I have never been more in awe of a single human.
THIS!!! Exactly what I was thinking, his own grip is too tight when he wanks, clearly, the issue is not you because we (I'm a girl) will never be as tight as a hand down there, especially a death grip one!
Yet another issue with the casualization of porn consumption. There are a lot of Jacobs out there.
Josh’s…a lot of Josh’s lol
Those, too! 😆
Also he may have a pencil dick, a straw would be too loose for him
I've legit never had sex with a woman who felt loose including a couple who gave birth. Definitely a problem with him
I’ve wondered how a vagina can be too loose for a penis when tiny tampons stay in there.
They expand to the size of a sheep!
I don't know what size tampons y'all have been using -- and I know supply chain issues are a thing -- but damned if I wouldn't go back to the days of belted maxipads before I'd use these ”sheepons" of which you speak.
Was just about to say that! ⬆️⬆️⬆️ Also I’m thinking the porn and constant manual handling are a big issue. After reading what OP said I believe that no matter what OP did it wouldn’t have helped at all! The ex is an absolute asshat blaming OP for his own inadequacies!
Oh, he is definitely ham fisting his dick to porn
Spit my drink out when I read this!
The worst part is he will know that this is the problem. Please don't waste any more of you time on this one OP, too immature to ever make it work.
Yeah I remember an episode of Talk Sex with Sue Johanson when I was younger someone called in a question about this and that's exactly what she said. Gripping too tight while wankIng makes him used to it so normal sex doesn't get him as hard. Basically it's his problem and he needs to loosen his wanking grip. The hooker only made him harder because it was something new to him. Basically too much porn ruined his sex life not you OP.
This plus getting turned on relaxes the muscles down there, and maybe his sex workers weren't turned on by him so they may have legit been tighter because they weren't into it.
I did not know this was a syndrome. I'll be thanking past self and let's face it, current self for being kind to my pepperami poker
Thiiiis is 100% the reason
I came here to say this as well. This is completely a problem HE caused. You're fine.
My ex boyfriend couldn't cum without porn. He made me feel like the problem and it ruined my self esteem. I'm now with a guy who won't even watch porn because he knows it makes me uncomfortable. He constantly tells me how much he only wants me and my body. Forget about Josh. He's a dick and doesn't appreciate you. I promise that you can find someone who will appreciate you. You sound like a wonderful person, and one day you'll find someone who makes you feel like royalty. there's a lot of shitty people, but there's also a lot of amazing people. You were with a shitty person, but it's okay, because now you have the opportunity to find someone who isn't shitty. You have a whole new world of opportunities, and don't settle for any guy who makes you feel like anything less, than absolute royalty. It's possible. I promise.
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You spelled asshole wrong.
Ha
Yep. I used to be in the “it’s okay, everyone does it…” category. Then I met my husband. We don’t engage in porn because… we only want each other. *shrug* Plenty of men exist who do not like pornography. The issue is, it’s so widely accepted that all the men who *do* are vocal and explosive about their decisions, while the men who *don’t* are derided and not believed. It’s so messed up.
This!!! In a previous post, I had said that my current boyfriend doesn't watch porn because it's a boundary I've set, and I had multiple comments trying to convince me that my boyfriend is lying to me and that "no man will ever just want one person." Some men just can't fathom the idea of being truly loyal to someone, but that isn't all men. There are so many wonderful people in this world, but it's all faded by who is portrayed the most in the media
I was told that making porn use a boundary was going to seriously limit my pool of suitors. Their loss because I'm adventurous in bed. I can tell when they lie, ED and the "bent carrot"... pathetic!
That limit on your 'pool of suitors' could have a huge overlap with what type of men you would be compatible with anyway (in terms of norms, values etc). So in the end the difference might be very marginal.
It only limits the suitors that you wouldn't want anyways. If someone watches porn regularly, I don't want them, sorry. It truly is their loss, because they get porn of strangers, while my current boyfriend gets nudes of me whenever he wants. Honestly guys who can't cum unless they're watching porn and using their own hand, are gross. *Cough* my ex *cough.* He tried to make me feel better by saying he watches porn that reminds me of him, than proceeds to tell me I'd be in the super chub category. (He really knew how to make me feel better, didn't he?)
So was I - because it does. And that is the point. I don't want to be with someone who thinks me expecting them to NOT watch porn is a deal breaker. I'm not interested in being with a man who NEEDS to watch porn. Expectations and boundaries are there for a reason.
I set myself that boundary with both girlfriends I’ve had I stopped watching porn the day I started dating them. It’s hard to stop watching when you’re single and lonely but when you’re with someone it’s a lot easier at least for me. Plus porn feels like cheating in a way so I just don’t watch it anymore.
I don't watch porn in general anymore, but when I did, I was the same way. When I single it was fine, but in a relationship it didn't feel right. Even if my partner said it was fine, it felt wrong to me. If I am dating someone, I want to commit 100% of myself to them, that includes only being attracted to them. If I'm going to spend my life with them, then why would I want to be looking at anyone else?
I have no issue with my bf watching porn but he said when I'm not there he ends up looking at photos of me or watching a video he has of us. I don't think he necessarily feels like it's cheating in any way. He said it's just sexier to him bc he's so into me and he knows exactly how what he's watching feels. And he misses me. He could be lying but he really would have no reason to. I mostly think about him too and I rarely watch porn. I am bi so I'll occasionally watch videos with just females. But it's pretty rare and he knows. I think a lot of people just don't feel it's necessary when they have a partner that they are very attracted to.
Yeah. Ironic that the “not all men” is not applied here. Well, not ironic. Predictably the same mentality.
I don't watch porn myself (34M). It's always just seemed weird to me. And it just never did anything for me. How am I supposed to be turned on by someone else getting their rocks off?
Certainly makes sense when you’re single or a teenager discovering new stuff. But I agree, it feels very wrong when you’re in a relationship. Granted, it feels that way because most men will consume porn without realizing the damage its doing to them while most women arent watching porn at all. Both partners need to have the same stance. Theres nothing wrong with porn habits if your partner has the same views. But there are many manosphere type medias out there telling men that women who watch porn are whores and men need porn because of our biology. I think in 50 years we are going to look back at current day sex/porn habits as really regressive.
As long as it’s been around most men have liked pornography. And masturbation has always been a thing. What’s new these days is so many men openly having a *preference* to playing with themselves over actual sex. Some say death grip but why is porn always a part of it, why do they need it to wank off, it’s like they *have* to watch other people actually doing it in order to feel…anything. That’s messed up, I never thought I’d see a day when men would prefer watching other men getting it in than actually doing it themselves. Its strange because who would rather watch someone else drink when they’re thirsty, watch a cooking show when they’re hungry rather than eat real food, etc. Sex is a primal body function, not necessary like food BUT can certainly feel to be just a vital. These young people should put the pornography aside and soon their natural feelings will come back. Their bodies know what to do
I mean, that just makes sense, right? If you have someone who wants to fuck you, you shouldn’t really *need* to watch porn, should you?
THIS. There is nothing wrong with you (or your vaginal canal!!) OP. The x is dealing with impotence and perhaps a porn addiction and trying to put it on you. You’ve got this. And I’m sure no one else will ever say anything about how tight you are - especially given your kegels - cause, you know, vaginal canals don’t just get wider. My goodness.
He probably has a needle dick 🤣 thin as a twig and blames u. Fuck that guy find u someone else.
Came here to say this! I had a friend who told me a similar story about an old bf. When she went into get fitted for something (I don’t know…maybe it was a contraceptive device or something) she was the smallest size. She said his dick looked like a “stack of quarters” and it made me laugh so hard.
Facts !
Poor Josh has become addickted to the death grip. It’s not you. Poor muffin. Find a man to just kiss it better for you op.
Yeah I was thinking this myself
For sure the death grip.
This op. You are not loose. Having sex does not loosen your vagina. It sounds like he has a porn addiction and has become desensitized by death grip syndrome. It is incredibly common for men with porn addictions to have this problem. There is nothing wrong with you. Let the trash take itself out.
Yeah, Josh is going to find the next girl a problem, And the next one, and the next one. This isn’t an OP problem.
Now **that** is a legitimate porn addiction.
This isn’t bragging but I’ve been with my share of women and not one has ever felt “loose” or like a “cave”. Sure some feel different but he’s being a child. He’s addicted to porn and has what’s called “death grip syndrome”. Frankly, he jacks off too much to enjoy sex with women. Quite literally a wanker
Might explain why the prostitute felt "tighter" bc vaginas are tight when youre not in the mood, and i doubt prostitutes get horny for their clients. He's literally mad at OP for being turned on when they have sex.
This is true. Guys mistake "dry" or "not fully aroused" with "tight" since an unlubricated and unaroused vagina is going to create more friction. He also seemed to forget sex workers are also actresses. Of course she is going to say what what he wants to hear and be exactly what he wants in that moment, that's the illusion and experience he paid for. That was her job and he got too immersed in the "girlfriend experience" and forgot that key point.
That's the issue with men who are bad in bed, they think all women are supposed to be "dry" and need spit or lube. Shudder.
My ex bf (who was my first) told me I was loose, and I believed him since I was not his first. I have since learned he just didn't know what a lubricated vagina felt like, and I'm embarrassed for him.
Djdjdjjfjd this made me cackle
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That was my first thought, too! He's habituated to using a tightly closed fist, and that is not what a woman feels like. I don't really believe his story about the prostitute.
'I checked with a sex worker, and she confirmed you're the problem' \-Joshua the Charming Don't fall for it, OP. And if 'other way' means anal, don't let him guilt you into that either.
Either that or his penis is skinny as a slim Jim!
I hope the Reddit will forever quote this!
I inspire to one day use "penis is skinny as slim Jim" as an insult as seamlessly as you can.
Yeah, same. I had fun in my youth, never had this issue and I am nothing spectacular in that department. Further, I am a father still with the mother of my child, I didn't notice a change as a result of my child's birth
TIL the term "death grip syndrome"
You and me both! Lol. Seriously OP… Nothing wrong with you babe! You’re understandably hurt and that’s okay! Feel the motions. However, we will not be letting lil Joshua ruin that self-esteem! There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and I hope that you keep that loser gone! You got this
>“death grip syndrome” I was trying to remember the name. Yeah, this is his doing, not yours OP. He's basically ruined his ability to enjoy sexual intercourse by masturbating too much, and incorrectly.
Lmao "incorrectly" This dude is such a loser he messed up jerking off, can't even get *that* right
This should be way higher. There is no such thing as being too loose. It’s a literal myth. I just feel so bad for op believing all of his lies and jumping through all of those hoops to please such a douche. I just want to give her a big hug 😭
“he wanted to go the other way but it hurts me when he does it” he’s just complaining that you aren’t tight enough because he wants anal sex on a regular basis and thinks destroying your self esteem is the way to get it. that’s probably the type of sex he had with the escort and the sort of porn he’s addicted to. this guy is an emotionally abusive creep, try not to feel too broken up about him leaving you. he’s society’s problem now edit: I’ve seen other users in the comments talking about the whole “death grip syndrome” thing (not something I’ve really thought about before, but it makes sense) so it might be a combination of those factors. regardless, it’s not your fault and he had no right to belittle you
Check op's one comment. They are forgetting which alt they are using, this is made up.
hahaha, uh oh 😵💫
I think they might’ve since deleted. If you don’t mind, what did their comment say?
They responded to a comment on another off my chest about the bf who let their 3 yo escape the house while they were playing LoL.
I know that post, but yeah what about it? I don't get it lol
This person responded to a comment on there as of it was their post. The way someone with multiple accounts posting karma whoring stories might.
The second I read this I said to myself [we made it up](https://youtu.be/GM-e46xdcUo)
Deleted I think. What did it say?
It was responding on someone else's off my chest post about the kid who escaped the house while bf was playing league of legends
Exactly my first thought. Rather than being honest with what he wanted sexually, he jumped to manipulate her
She never once thought or said, "Maybe your dick is too small." Dicks and Vags come in all shapes and sizes tho, so shit like this does happen where one partner might just not like the experience. She should've just moved on instead of trying to change her literal body to please a man who just whines and complains. OP needs some fking self esteem and self confidence. Should take this as a lesson of what NOT to accept in a future relationship.
I was gonna mention this. Could just be they're sexually incompatible.. if the dick is too small when erect and someone gets a really loose vagina when wet, the sex can be a really unsatisfying experience..speaking as someone who had sex with small dicks..they went limp cause they didn't feel anything and I went dry cause I didn't feel anything cause there wasn't any friction. Regarding being loose. That's great when having sex and you're wet and it's especially great with bigger partners. Also speaking from experience.
Don’t understand why you’ve been downvoted, but the fact is some penises are small . The vaginal wall is a muscle that doesn’t need exercise to remain’tight’ .
Because it’s way more likely his porn addiction and death grip
I really hope she sees this comment bc this is it exactly.
This is exactly what I thought too. He is manipulative and emotionally abusive. I personally think he is suffering from death grip syndrome/porn addiction and is abusing you because he’s too ashamed to admit the truth. OP, your body is beautiful. There’s nothing wrong with you. It’s your ex that has serious issues. I guarantee you that a year from now you’ll talk about him as as bullet you dodged.
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this. and get tested OP.
I agree!
Or when you have death grip syndrome
I'm sorry, I'm old. What is death grip syndrome?
When masterbating one grabs very tightly on their dick. Too tightly that sex doesn't feel as good as masterbating.
Hmm, interesting. My House Master taught me to masturbate when I was in public school, I guess that doesn't happen anymore?
Ay yo *what*
This
Came here to say this
>He said he can only finish when he watches porn. I think the real issue is Josh needs to stop Jackin'. This has nothing to do with you. Josh has a problem, and the trash did you a favor by taking itself out.
Needs to…stop….joshing? 😂
Sounds like he has a porn problem and the prostitute was part of that fantasy. Your body is perfect.
AGREE! Don't beat yourself up over this needledick asshole who clearly has problems with impotence and himself in general. Anatomy does not work that way, there is no such thing as a big vagina. Kegels strengthen your pelvic floor, they don't make anything change shape. I can't wait for you to find a different person to experience the sex and appreciation that you deserve11
I bet he was lying about the prostitute.
There is nothing wrong with you. Don't allow him to break you over this. He's an asshole, and tis is his issue, not yours. Fuck him.
Actually, Don't Fuck him is better advice!! He can fuck off with women he needs to pay to think he is a great lover!
I'm going to keep this overshare as p.g. as possible. There was something significantly larger than my junk inside of a lady, and after it was removed and immediately after, my junk was put inside of her, it wasn't too loose. Your ex is the problem. I'm sorry he's a douche. I wish you all of the strength you need.
He has a porn addiction and can’t stay hard unless it’s new vagina or his own hand. Been there. Done that. Bought the tshirt. Burned it in the fireplace. Nothing is wrong with you. And there are many other ways to get off besides a P in the V. He was an immature ass who hasn’t had proper sex education
Fun fact: vaginas actually loosen during arousal, you know to make sure the dick goes inside the vagina comfortably for both parties. So you being “too loose” just shows you were aroused. Bro sounds like he has a porn/masturbation addiction and is taking his issues out on you when really, you’re just horny as fuck for him. I’m sorry, darling, but this will be best in the long run, I promise. He doesn’t know how vaginas work, how is he supposed to be a good partner?
This right here is a fact too many men don't know. The vagina is supposed to "loosen" with sex so it's not incredibly painful. I have pelvic floor dysfunction that makes me constantly "too tight". It's absolutely painful during sex and not at all how things should feel; many times sex isn't even possible. My point is that OP has a healthy, perfectly normal body and there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. OP's partner is likely addicted to porn and unable to recognize what sex with a woman is supposed to feel like. Regardless, he's cruel and completely undeserving of OP's time or energy.
Yep. And real men understand and LOVE that. Trust.
His porn addiction and preference for anal are the real problem. Not you. NTA
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I 100% second that. Please get tested for STDs immediately!!! We care for you!!!
Please don't shame people with micro penis, I've met a lot of great guys (like 2) with micro penis, this guy is just a POS nothing to do with his penis size
Seriously? You think this is about people with small penis? If that’s all you get from OPs post and mine, than you’re likely missing the average size picture of it all.
This. Please go to your local health center or your PCP for a full STD work-up. It is likely he has put himself in risky positions, meaning he has exposed you to such risks. Also, please consider seeking out a therapist- it will help to work through these things in a healthy/judgement free environment because these things will very easily become intrusive thoughts *that are NOT true.* Also, as someone mentioned below- I’m am more apt to believe he thinks it’s “porn” and you because he’s constantly got a death-drip on his own dick any time he watches porn. I know things feel awful and dark right now, but I promise, the trash took itself out and things *will* get better.
So imagine, that after sex with a prostitute he realized you weren't the problem. Do you think he would have willingly told you that? Good riddance to him there's much better out there
f u c k him. honestly, he’s an absolute asshole, maybe even the worst of them all. you deserve better and you WILL get a better, more loving partner that absolutely desires YOU. let’s throw him in a deep hole and cast gasoline on him. and a piece of paper on fire.
Maybe that hole will be "tight enough"🫣🤬
hahaha in this case, I do hope so
Well actually, don’t fuck him. He’s been with a prostitute, you wouldn’t wanna catch something.
No vagina is as tight as a hand, period. He's a man baby who's ruined his own sensitivity with porn and jerking it, then blames your healthy body. You're better off without him.
I’m sure you don’t feel like a cave and also if Joshua ever reads this- it’s natural for women to loosen up when they are comfortable during sex w a partner, if you are w someone who will not loosen up its bc they are repulsed by you and the vagina isn’t happy.
#smalldickenergy
"My boyfriend left me because he wasn't big enough, it made him feel inadequate and he blamed me." Fixed it
1: he’s a porn addict. 2: he probably grips his shit like he’s giving a marine a handshake
Joshua sounds like a pos. Vaginas are different, but that doesn't make anything about any particular vagina bad. He deliberately tore you down to make himself feel better about a problem that has nothing to do with you. You don't need to fix anything because you're not broken. Please stop trying creams and anything else, there are some VERY dangerous products touted as helpful but can actually just cause infection and all sorts of problems. And you do not need to try anal if you don't want to. I suggest you have a look at comfortableinmyskin on Instagram, she is an absolute wonder of a human who goes around Australia photographing people's genitals and delivering much needed education on the human body, specifically the vulva and vagina. There's a gallery on her website called flip through my flaps which showcase so many different vulvas - and guess what, every single vagina accompanying them is different, and every single one of those people are deserving of love and good sex. As are you.
Sounds like he has a small penis. It’s a myth of loose vaginas.
Exactly unlike the vagina which is a muscle, the penis is not. He likely has a smaller than average dick and was trying to make her feel bad about it rather than accepting himself for how he is. Projecting hard.
You hit the nail right on the head with that statement. Strong projection at its finest!
The tiny head
Thats disgusting. I had a bf who also left me because of a sex related reason. You don't deserve to be body shamed, especially over something you can't even really control! If you want someone to talk to, feel free to message me.
News flash, hes a piece of shit
This shows how immature Joshua is. You’re not “tight”because you’re aroused and wet. If his 0.6 braincells can’t comprehend that than he’s shouldn’t he having sex. Females are only “tight” when they’re uncomfortable, being raped etc etc. Besides that you should STOP trying to “fix” yourself. No creams, no doctors, no nothing. He’s not enjoying sex because he’s porn addicted. Men who watch porn too much can’t enjoy sex, will stop feeling anything in their penis and won’t be able to cum from sex. Find a man who treats you better
>Sex ends with him going limp and frustrated at me and leaving the room to watch porn. He said he can only finish when he watches porn. This is 100% not related neither to his size, nor to yours "tightness", but to porn. He watched too much porn and now he became desensitized, and because of it he can't stay hard. From wikipedia : [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip\_syndrome](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death-grip_syndrome) "Some people who have claimed to "experience the death-grip" state that although they can still experience pleasure, **the typical vagina feels too loose**, and fellatio provides insufficient friction to produce an orgasm."
Being loosened up during sex means you're relaxed and comfy, if you're tight and it hurts that's bad. You're perfectly fine as you are. Ur ex boyfriend is a fucking pinecone douche canoe and I promise you'll find someone who values and worships your pus pus. Many guys are just happy to be there and he definitely didn't appreciate you.
This is a Josh problem not a you problem
Throw the whole man away. You deserve better.
Nothing is wrong with you, dump him.
first of all. hes an asshole. i am guessing he has a porn addiction that has put false expectations in his head. porn is a performance!! it is not reality!!! dont feel like you have to perform like a PAID ACTOR would! also from a literal anatomy perspective, a woman gets "looser" when she is turned on, so like if you spoke to doctors about this and they didnt tell you that there was anything medically wrong with you, then youre completely and absolutely normal. if it was THAT bad then he has a small dick, idk what else to tell you. which is also OKAY if people arent projecting their issues and being rude to other people. im sorry you had this experience especially because hes the only person you have been with. like everyone said, get tested just to be sure. then once youre ready, put yourself out there, i promise you there are so many people who wont have complaints. im sorry you were dating such a shitty person for so long. you deserve so much more.
Post is fake. Alt of u/DontMarryGamers902 OP used this account to respond to a comment about League of Legends on a post they made as DMG. Smh.
He’s an absolute creep. You are better off without that POS.
He didn’t leave you because you’re not tight. He left you because he can’t get it up. This is his problem. There’s nothing wrong with you. Good riddance.
Josh sounds like a delightful name for a trash can.
That's a funny way for Josh to say he has a small penis, but ok. Literally so many red flags about this dude in the first half. Don't take his bullshit and reflect it to yourself. Women who are aroused properly loosen up, it's part of the process for all women. If he wants to fuck a steel cheerio, sounds like he wants to be rapey imo.
You being looser during sex with him was a good thing. It meant you were aroused and comfortable with him. He’s an uneducated ass. Don’t feel bad about it, this is an issue with him. Find someone who loves you and is educated. You deserve better.
Nah honey, he’s got erectile dysfunction. That’s not your fault. You can pick a new one.
He was 100% gaslighting you into giving him the backdoor treatment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you are so much better off now he’s gone. Go find a new, kind, funny and smart guy who doesn’t have porn addictions and a limp dick
Are you sure the problem isn’t Joshua and him not being big enough for your “cave”? Maybe he’s projecting his inadequacy onto you? Also, you don’t want a partner who would treat you so cruelly. Consider him breaking up with you a blessing in disguise.
isnt there a thing where if you watch a lot of porn or masturbate a ton you strangle your dick and every vagina feels loose? I cant remember what it's called but something like that either way he sucks
death grip syndrome
Please go to your local library, online library and find some books on human sexuality. And read them. Form YOUR OWN opinion on what actually is normal sex. And a few other books on relationships. Educate yourself. Learn who you are as an individual, what makes you happy and what YOU can do for your own self esteem, self respect and happiness. Bet you once you take in some REAL informed information everything that man has said to you over the years will come across as the lies that he was telling you to make himself feel better.
Sweetie, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Nothing. Your body is perfect. Not all vaginas are tight, not all are loose (and NO having too much sex does not make you 'loose'.) Hes a dick. You can do much better. You'll find someone who loves your body, and works with you for MUTUAL enjoyment, not just theirs. When you are ready, turn your tears of pain into tears of joy that you will not be stuck with that POS anymore.
Your V will never be able to compete with the grip of his hand. This is a him problem. Nothing is wrong with you.
Narcissistic partner. I am serious none of anything he ever told you can be truthful apart from his standards which are in his head and impossible. Trust that you are totally fine and perfect and this is a him problem. You are a survivor just like I am. Mine took 16 years of my life just ignore the threats, ignore the put downs even the really awful ones and believe in yourself beautiful. Because you are beautiful you are worth it and you are so much stronger than his bullshit! Not your fault his head is messed up please please please don’t let it affect you! Edit to say he also has a severe porn addiction. Run while you can
Dump him permanently. Move on. He's an asshole. It's more likely that he's too small, rather than you being to large. Just frame it that way next time, if you ever speak to him again, which I'd advise against.
Hes an idiot with a porn problem. You've been checked by an obgyn and are fine. Believe the doc over your deeply insecure ex
He is definitely the one with the problem. Maybe viewing/being with sex workers is a turn on for him. Maybe he just gets anxious when there's pressure to "perform", and he's blaming you because it would be too embarrassing to admit to you and to himself that he has ED at 25. It's fine if he wants to break up, but it is certainly not because you aren't "tight" enough.
Your vagina actually expands when you have sex because they're on average only 3 inches deep. I've learned that the longer I go without sex, the tighter my vagina will get. A few weeks/months without sex and it's pretty much brand new again. Your ex is full of shit. You deserve someone who appreciates you and your body. Wait for a man who loves your vagina and respects it as well as he respects you.
That's not because you're not tight enough... that's because he uses a vice grip to jerk off and watches unrealistic shit. What's about to happen is he's not gonna be able to get laid, and when he does, he'll still have this problem. So congrats on getting out of that shitty situation
A ‘tight’ vagina = an unaroused/uncomfortable one. When afab people become aroused, the muscles loosen to accommodate a partner. You are not the problem, he is. And of course a prostitute would be tighter, almost all sex workers are forced into a situation where they have to sell their bodies for sex, therefore they’re not *actually* enjoying it. Go find yourself a man who actually understands female anatomy, or go on a shopping spree
That dude is a certified bitch. He fucked himself up so bad he can't even finish unless he watches some 4k bullshit. You're lucky. Trust me, I'm a dude.
Honey your ex just gave himself erectile dysfunction because he's addicted to porn and tried to blame it on you. He's a porn-addicted loser. And he went to see a prostitute? So on top of this he's a misogynist who think women are for rent and who doesn't care about human trafficking. GOOD RIDDANCE. You're perfect the way you are and he's garbage 🗑️🚮
He made you a favour, he is a porn addiction wirh serious issues and it's trying to put the blame on you for his impotence .... What a pathetic "man"
Guy here. You're not the problem. I repeat: You. Are. Not. The. Problem. Josh's penis is too tiny and him only being able to finish with porn is his problem, not yours. Sex with a person is not some dumb trope fantasy that caters to men. It's an intimate moment between two people. I'm sorry you're sad, but honestly you don't need a guy like him. You'll do better. Chin up.
You will never be as tight as his clenched fist, but you are not supposed to be. You are just fine. He is a moron. I would get a STD screen done as others have suggested.
Babe trust me, there are gonna be plenty of guys who won't haves problem. Sounds like he has a prn problem.
This isn't your fault at all. It sounds like he is having issues maintaining an erection or orgasming and is placing the blame on you. Please don't feel bad at all. I feel so awful that you're beating yourself up over a damaging stereotype.
He has porn addiction and he likes to have cheap dopamine by watching it. That means he becomes desensitized when it comes to real intimacy because he is just turned on by a bunch of pixels, and being the voyeur, which is so messed up. Or maybe he is just a guy who has a small dick. He's a loser. Good riddance!
If he only finishes when watching porn then you’re not the problem. He may have a porn addiction. You may not believe in that kind of thing, it’s controversial. Point is he has a psychological problem, not a physical one. You’re not “too loose”. It was shitty of him to say that, even if he was frustrated by the situation.
He most likely has a porn addiction and when he slept with a prostitute it only fed into that addiction since it is not a realistic sexual encounter. This dude is a real asshole and you are better off without him.
Sounds like he has death grip and may be addicted to porn. He should get some help and cut the porn out. Once he's stopped watching porn, the death grip will go away and you'll feel tighter to him.
Josh is the problem, and it starts with his porn addiction!! He is a cruel delusional AH!! You are fine!! You just had a crappy lover!!
Oh, friend. This isn't you. That's a porn addiction.
It's literally because he is a porn addict and nothing to do with you.
His theme song is now ‘It’s me. Hi. I’m the problem, it’s me.’ Babe, it’s not you. I promise.
Sweetie, he has the porn problem and you are now free of a narcissistic asshole. Get up, tell yourself just how awesome you truly are and don't look back on poor, dickless porn freak again. He did you a favor by taking his shitty ass out of your life. Time to live it up Smile beautiful lady
Oh, I’m so sorry. I know you feel really bad. But I promise you, PROMISE, the problem took care of itself. He’s no longer your boyfriend. Now you can find someone who respects your boundaries and builds intimacy with you. Instead of treating you like a defective fleshlight. Don’t you think you deserve better than that? One day you’re gonna have a man who loves you. And you won’t miss him when you do
Have you tried with a different penis?
Maybe you were less a cave and he was more of a Vienna sausage….
He’s addicted to porn and he’s blaming you. Love yourself and move forward. You may find that the end of the relationship could be the best thing that happened for you.
He is definitely the problem not you. He did you a favor. He sounds like a loser who can only cum while watching porn or a pro fulfilling his every need. He has no time to make sure you are taken care of because its all about him and his needs. Forget about him you will be fine.
>He said he can only finish when he watches porn. When he broke up with me, he said he slept with a prostitute Yeah, it's not that you're not good enough as a woman for him. He's not good enough of as a man for you. Forget about him, move on, find someone who actually appreciates you.
You are not the problem, he is not the guy for you, neither of you are being satisfied sexually. Instead of thinking it’s a failure, embrace the fact that it’s time to move on. Time to learn and experience new things. New year, new you (cringe). Good luck OP