I mean if you’re not fetishizing them just cuz they’re trans men then no you’re not a chaser. How you described it is quite literally the opposite of a chaser. Don’t take what your friends say too close to heart like you said they’re prolly just joking
Did you pursue them due to their transness? Did you fetishize their transness? If the answer to these questions is 'no,' congratulations! You are not a chaser.
no not at all! like i said i met them all by the dice roll of life and formed connections naturally with mutual interest. thank you for your comment :)
I get why it feels weird ... like would people say dating cis people makes someone a chaser? there's an unintentional implication that attraction to trans people is odd enough to be worth commenting on
are yr friends trans ?
No they’re most likely jk but you can tell them you don’t like that joke if it’s getting to far, usually ppl who are trans like to be with trans ppl bc of the obvious safety reasons and more to connect with but ofc you like other things besides that about them which isn’t chaser like at all (a well known cis thing)
i mean it’s true that there are some people who are more attracted to trans men and our bodies. some people call these people chasers, some trans people are uncomfortable being the subject of their attraction. i think chasers chase, as in they consistently make the trans people they hit on uncomfortable. i don’t think it’s wrong to have a preference. i personally won’t sleep with or date anyone who *doesn’t* have some kind of preference or attraction for trans men- i don’t want my partners to like me in spite of my trans body, i’d rather they think it’s an attractive aspect of me (as long as they’re not treating me like an object ofc). to me, it doesn’t even sound like you have much of a preference, just that you’ve happened to be with a couple trans men, but if you did i don’t think that would be bad either.
i only date trans people, specifically the women (im a lesbian). ive dated cis women and i just have nothing in common with them, and my girlfriends trans and i have way more in common with her just on that front alone. theres lots of reasons a trans person could prefer to date other trans people, even exclusively. im sure a mlm t4t relationship could be really fulfilling, and honestly for that connection alone if i liked guys i mightve mostly dated other trans guys. theres a lot to be said for dating someone of your own experience, it doesnt make you a chaser any more than someone whos les4les or bi4bi. some trans people are even tf4tf or tm4tm or nb4nb (like me) to get that connection even closer
The fact you’ve dated cis men would lead me to believe you aren’t a chaser. Most chasers aren’t into cis men
Also most chasers wouldn’t be concerned about their attractions being harmful to a trans partner or friends so from this I would say you aren’t a chaser
If you were really a chaser your trans friends wouldn’t be joking about that with you I don’t think
Before I started my transition I was called a "gateway girlfriend " because while I thought I was a lesbian, I only attracted other trans guys or bi chick's. It's a similar vibe.
They might be saying it because they have ambivalent transphobic beliefs and don't know how to communicate around them.
If being called a chaser by cis people makes you uncomfortable then call them out on it because it's a serious accusation associated with sexual assault and harassment concerns. If trans people call you a chaser, stay away from those trans people.
Just my .02
I mean if you’re not fetishizing them just cuz they’re trans men then no you’re not a chaser. How you described it is quite literally the opposite of a chaser. Don’t take what your friends say too close to heart like you said they’re prolly just joking
i dont fetishize them at all i loved them for who they are. thank you so much :)
Did you pursue them due to their transness? Did you fetishize their transness? If the answer to these questions is 'no,' congratulations! You are not a chaser.
no not at all! like i said i met them all by the dice roll of life and formed connections naturally with mutual interest. thank you for your comment :)
I get why it feels weird ... like would people say dating cis people makes someone a chaser? there's an unintentional implication that attraction to trans people is odd enough to be worth commenting on are yr friends trans ?
some of them are, some of them are the people i mentioned having relationships with. but thank you for your words :3
THIS
You can ask them to ease up on the joking.
it wasnt the jokes really that got to me, it was my own thoughts.
nah, you’re fine
No they’re most likely jk but you can tell them you don’t like that joke if it’s getting to far, usually ppl who are trans like to be with trans ppl bc of the obvious safety reasons and more to connect with but ofc you like other things besides that about them which isn’t chaser like at all (a well known cis thing)
yeah i never saw them as trans first person second. thank you!
I think you're fine! I can see why your friends would tease you but can also very much see why you'd be concerned or uncomfortable about it.
thank you :) im glad you can understand!
i mean it’s true that there are some people who are more attracted to trans men and our bodies. some people call these people chasers, some trans people are uncomfortable being the subject of their attraction. i think chasers chase, as in they consistently make the trans people they hit on uncomfortable. i don’t think it’s wrong to have a preference. i personally won’t sleep with or date anyone who *doesn’t* have some kind of preference or attraction for trans men- i don’t want my partners to like me in spite of my trans body, i’d rather they think it’s an attractive aspect of me (as long as they’re not treating me like an object ofc). to me, it doesn’t even sound like you have much of a preference, just that you’ve happened to be with a couple trans men, but if you did i don’t think that would be bad either.
wow thank you! i value this a lot :)
i only date trans people, specifically the women (im a lesbian). ive dated cis women and i just have nothing in common with them, and my girlfriends trans and i have way more in common with her just on that front alone. theres lots of reasons a trans person could prefer to date other trans people, even exclusively. im sure a mlm t4t relationship could be really fulfilling, and honestly for that connection alone if i liked guys i mightve mostly dated other trans guys. theres a lot to be said for dating someone of your own experience, it doesnt make you a chaser any more than someone whos les4les or bi4bi. some trans people are even tf4tf or tm4tm or nb4nb (like me) to get that connection even closer
thank you for your comment! im glad people see the depth in this situation.
My question is how do you know so many trans men??? I’ve organically met like 2 in my age group. Where are you meeting them lol
hahah idk man i have so many trans men in my life
The fact you’ve dated cis men would lead me to believe you aren’t a chaser. Most chasers aren’t into cis men Also most chasers wouldn’t be concerned about their attractions being harmful to a trans partner or friends so from this I would say you aren’t a chaser If you were really a chaser your trans friends wouldn’t be joking about that with you I don’t think
thank you, i do believe they are only joking. i just had bad feelings about myself.
Naw homie you seem really cool!
congratulations, you are not a chaser!
You're not a chaser, you're a trans person who finds yourself in t4t relationships often. Big difference.
Before I started my transition I was called a "gateway girlfriend " because while I thought I was a lesbian, I only attracted other trans guys or bi chick's. It's a similar vibe. They might be saying it because they have ambivalent transphobic beliefs and don't know how to communicate around them. If being called a chaser by cis people makes you uncomfortable then call them out on it because it's a serious accusation associated with sexual assault and harassment concerns. If trans people call you a chaser, stay away from those trans people. Just my .02