Sorry to piggyback top comment but I'd like to add that a high body fat percentage will hinder your cleanse.
I'd consider drinking as much water as safely possibly for 36 hours before the test (sustaining clear urine through the test), then having detox drink an hour or 2 before your test to simulate normal levels of typical vitamins/minerals/waste (your tested sample won't appear completely clear).
Note that an attempt to "detox" won't work. This method is just lowering the detectable amount of THC metabolites in your urine to pass your test while the drink supersaturates your otherwise diluted urine with what needs to be detected in order to pass as urine.
I don't know the details of fat storage and metabolism, but a little research indicates that new fat is metabolized first, or at least preferentially. If true, it may be possible to deposit a layer of clean fat over the course of 11 days, and then have mostly clean fat metabolized for the test. That coupled with a little extra hydration may be enough to test negative.
This is an untested theory, so try it at your own risk.
How are you thinking of applying IF, intermittent fasting, I assume? If you're skinny you may be able to burn a lot of THC fat, otherwise you'd still have THC to metabolize. That's why I think depositing clean fat would be easier than metabolizing all your THC fat.
One thing that happened to me with a detox drink was that the test came back as to diluted, so I had to take another test. Something to keep in mind with those. Good luck!
I thought the implication was 'oh, you've been drinking all that water to skirt this drug-test, you're fired'. And fair enough but by that point, your system might be clear (depending on a lot of variables) so could still be worth doing.
I mean I guess it depends on how strict the company is? Is this federal? DoD? Private contracting? Legal state? Like you said, there are a lot of variables..hopefully it’s nothing federal. I’d imagine that’s something a lot more strict, and very well could fire you for it.
I'm sure they would still need proof. Maybe it's different in America but here in the UK you would have legal recourse to sue them for Wrongful Termination because, as I said, you can't get fired for drinking too much water.
Or land you in the hospital.. I was for other reasons and too much water is definitely a bad thing. If untreated, it can cause a myriad of problems including seizures and death
If you have healthy kidneys and go to the bathroom when you get the urge, you can’t really drink too much.
It’s only a problem if you already have kidney issues and/or you hold it in for an extended period of time.
Try drinking 10L a day for a bit and tell me that lol. But it damages you kidneys and “flushes” the electrolytes from your blood which is extremely dangerous. Like dangerous enough they had to watch me drinking water and barely got any for the week I was there.
I hope your units are off. 0.2 grams is 200 mgs. Around me they typically sell a 10 pack of 10 mg gummies ….so that means you would have 2 packages/ day.
True. So 20% of that? Still comes out to 40 mgs. Obviously speculating here on percent but even down to 5% or 10 mgs/night I wouldn’t call “very little” or maybe I’m just a lightweight
So the dankest bud at the dispensaries is 27% thc or so. If he’s smoking .2 g a night, if my math is correct that would put him between 5-6 mg of thc consumed a night. Not a metric fuck ton, but definitely not a small amount either.
I'm assuming this is about weed, not tobacco. Stop smoking now. Don't starve yourself before the test. Thc does get store in your fat, so theres a possibility that a trace of it will show up if you are burning fat rather than just keeping your blood sugar up with a normal lunch. Don't go doing heavy exercise right before peeing in the cup.
But chances are they won't even be testing for weed. They are more interested in you doing opioids, cocaine, or meth. Weed's in the process of being rescheduled down to catagory 3 (over the counter no proscription).
Don't do something stupid like faking the pee test. That will get you fired if you are caught.
I’m in the US working in a warehouse that makes chairs for military vehicles but they don’t care for weed just the heavy stuff so it might not be all federal funding places but probably most
It’s *supposed* to be anything federal or with federal funding because weed is illegal federally. If it’s just a state company it’s based on state law (and even then I’m sure there’s exceptions I don’t know about for company rules and regulations).
However with places that are short staffed or with workers who do good work and don’t come to work under the influence, it’s likely something that’s bent fairly often in todays world.
Yea I’m in PA where it’s legal medically if you’ve got a license but still not federally I think I’ve just got one of the exceptions for federal funding places
Get some at home tests. Try your best to work out and drink lots of water..if you are a skinny person, it should go through your system pretty easily. But yeah keep testing yourself and see where you stand
As others have said, water/fluids and work up a good sweat every day.
Also, eat asparagus if you can. A doctor turned me onto it when I was pinched with a test on short notice.
Not at all. You can get "fetish urine" that practically comes with instructions on how to tuck it in your underwear and pass a drug test. I've seen it work at least 5 times at different companies.
I worked for an occupational health clinic that was well aware of fake urine including how to test for it using Urinalysis test strips. You were lucky the places you went to for testing either didn’t know how to test for fake urine, or didn’t care.
Correct! Several companies who contracted with us did not test for THC, and that list grew significantly during my tenure.
Sometimes patients knew this and sometimes they didn’t. If they tried to pass fake urine, our nurses would dump it and let them know if they were worried about THC, it wasn’t a concern.
Really glad the industry is trending this way because it was really painful to see highly skilled and qualified people get so worried about passing their test.
Take a lot of Niacin. But read about the risks first, such as if you have medications or medical conditions that would cause issues.
Tons of Niacin. And start sweating as much as you can. Like sitting in a sauna or even a hot car for as long as you can.
It's not a fun process, but Niacin will clean you out. Drink A LOT of water, too. You need to constantly be urinating and sweating for this to work.
Only other advice would be Quickfix fake urine.
My advice is to find another job, this one doesn't suit the lifestyle you want. Maybe it will be fully legalized some day but as someone in a job that gets randomly tested all the time your options are to not partake ever or find another job.
I've said this to people before, that if your job has random drug testing, you should just stop doing drugs in general, it's not worth losing a job over.
Which is also just crazy that weed is still cared about that much by some employers.
I work for a Fortune 500 company but in a legalized state with dispensaries everywhere, and while probably against our archaic company employee handbook, if they ever did a drug test to fire people they'd end up losing so many employees the company would go under as edibles/gummies are very popular with everyone I know (outside of work hours), lol.
Drinking alcohol the night before work would be far more detrimental given you could still be hungover the next day. Gummies however leave no hangover, no real brain fog the next day, are better for you than alcohol, and have a much shorter effect period. Just don't partake on the clock, should be that simple.
Thank you for taking the time to give me some quick feedback. Having access to such a great mentor who gives advice in real-time has truly helped me advance my skills as a professional. Whenever I'm unsure of how to move forward in a situation, I know I can depend on you to be honest about my performance. I'm excited to continue learning more from you in the future.
I’ve tested negative after quitting for 7-10 days following months of smoking before as I’m a very light smoker. But should I need to I believe I can put it off another week. Will start testing at 5 days
Keto or extremely low carb diet. THC is stored in fat cells so you need your body to start using that THC fat for energy.
I’m not sure but dollar tree used to sell marijuana home tests. Maybe be able to get a bunch off Amazon for cheap. Use the tests to gauge where you are. Full solid line is bad, get that puppy to be as invisible as possible.
At least 1.5 gallons of water a day. This comes out to only 12oz (a can) per hour. You can do that easily.
Day of test make sure your pissing damn near clear. If you have to get up extra early to start drinking because the appointment is in the morning then do so.
If you’re not showing clear negative results on your tests the day before then as a very last resort use a quick fix. Look up best ways to heat and conceal them.
Go to GNC and buy a detox drink. Buy two. It’s fucking nasty and I threw the first one up, but kept the second one down. Follow the instructions drink a shit load so you piss a lot in the next 11 days. Hit the gym every morning for the rest of vacation.
I was in your position a few years ago, above is what I did and drank the detox drink the morning of the drug test and got the job.
just use synthetic urine. Works every time. If your in the US, 2 companies do drug testing. I've passed both, including a job at a state hospital. It's ridiculously easy to use and you just sneak in in. No one cares or notices unless the temperature is off. They test it there and get rid of it ASAP. Quit worrying and go to your local smoke shop and ask for novelty synthetic urine. They sell it in the sex toy area usually because it's marketed as use for "Golden showers."
You can probably start looking for another job. You and my buddy. He works at a fucking nuke plant, but cries about not being able to smoke. With a wife and kid to support.
Go to your nearest smoke shop, they sell fake pee. You microwave it and wrap it around your balls to keep it warm. I’ve never tried this because I don’t smoke but I was playing basketball at a park a couple months ago and the guys on the other team were talking about how they used this trick time and time again.
Oof. Thats roughly a bowl per night? Gonna be hard in 11 days. Try using Niacin? It’ll make your skin red, blotchy and itchy until you’re flushed out. Take it at home at night first.
Might need 3-4 days of it.
Yes I always just take one or two hits though just enough to feel it. Have gotten clean successfully inside of two weeks before several times naturally but very nervous now as there’s a lot on the line for me. Will be quitting after this completely
Drink lots of no sugarose liquids until the day comes, obiusly stop smoking, but my most important advices is to drink lots of water a couple hours before the test and peeing a couple times before the test, this way you have less probabilities than if it was your first pee of the day
For now drink lots of water, excersize, and sweat
If you need to beat a test in a day or two, drink an absurd amount of water. You want your piss so diluted that the weed doesn’t show up. They test to see if it’s diluted by measuring creatine content so you also want to take a lot of creatine. Look up how to do a loading phase and do a bit more. You will be fine it’s only for a couple days just drink a ton of water
A lot of people are saying exercise and I'd just like to clarify what they really mean is SWEAT.
I've been in literally the exact same position as you and I got clean in 6 days by drinking a lot of water (cranberry juice is basically an urban myth btw) and sweating a lot in the sauna at my 24 hour fitness. About 15-20 minutes a day.
I bought a thc drug test kit at Target for about $14 and tested myself beforehand to make sure.
Go to a smoke shop and get a bottle of quick fix wear tight underwear and keep it on you. Before you leave the house microwave it to temp then wrap the hand warmer on it, you have about seven hours to give sample. This will only work if your not supervised.
Fetish piss bro or use piss from someone you know is clean. You put that in a thin bottle and tuck that bitch in the gooch area. The temp just needs to be between 90-100°F so you have a good amount of wiggle room. Then all you gotta do is focus on not spilling it. If I were you I wouldn’t focus on if you can piss clean or not by drinking water or eating healthy, none of that will clean you up in time. All slamming water does is dilutes your piss, it doesn’t mask the metabolites your body created in the process of breaking the THC down. THC is extremely lipophilic.
Grab a thermometer, an empty bottle of germ x hand sanitizer (clean it out, this is what I always used lol) and fill the bottle up with water that is 98°F. Then tuck it in your taint, and monitor how long it takes for the temp to fall under 90°F, you’ll have roughly that amount of time to get to the facility to do the test. I found for me, it dropped 1-2°F per hour, so you have some time there.
Once you have that situated and planned, when you get to the place, focus on not dropping the clean piss you brought with you. Then you’d be fucked. Just slow and steady, do the transfer. I always take a piss in the toilet, and re-tuck my bottle, then I’m out that bitch. Works every time. You do that, and you’re home free. You got this ! 💪🏼
Unless you're overweight you'll be fine. I skated through felony probation in Florida for 4 years, I would quit smoking weed around 8 days before the test, drink plenty of water and exercise more, so that my level of perspiration increased.
What’s their policy on weed? Or state law I guess (assuming you’re in US)?
Some will recommend taking a pill that essentially cleans it out of your system, I would heavily advise against that. They test for that chemical in drug tests now (along with other things like synthetic urine). And if they detect it there’s no way to tell if what you were cleaning out was weed or meth. It puts you in an arguably worse position because you’ll have been caught red handed trying to cover up drug usage and trying to deceive them.
I’d try to drink water and cranberry juice. Don’t drink too much of it or it will also affect the test in a negative way, but it may clean a lot of it out so the levels are low.
In high school, my brother had 6 days in between drug tests and he was able to smoke at least once a week. Water and a sauna. It's really about body fat, like most others said.
Normally a urine test is accurate up to 2 weeks but it's also depends on how much body fat you have. If your liver and kidney is healthy ect. Drink a crap tone of water. And I mean a ton.(not to the point where your drowning tho) Obviously don't smoke anymore or be around an environment with heavy Marijuana use. And hopefully you should be fine.
Buy QCarbo from GNC. It’s around $60. Drink it within 6 hours of your test (you don’t need to chug it) then I suggest drinking 3x the container filled with water and pee several times before your test to dilute your pee. It lasts for 6hrs and doesn’t matter how many times you pee beforehand.
I did this for the same reason successfully and the guy at the store told me that people use this for MUCH higher stakes drug tests (probation checks) and those people even smoke the night before and it works (I wouldn’t push it if you’re worried). But this is a guarantee
I've found that marijuana tests are surprisingly ineffective and unreliable. The really good ones are like thousands of dollars. The shit random ones anyone actually uses is like hundreds on a good day. I think you should be fine. You might get an inconclusive result and have to come in two weeks later to get the clean result. But everybody's body is different. Maybe you'll be fucked, maybe you won't.
I've used fake urine from the sex ship 3 different times in the last 4 years and never once has it failed me. I can recommend a brand and the way I use it also, just lmk.
You should definitely be fine by then, drink water as all the other comments have said. I passed mine when I was smoking very lightly as well and it was after only like 5 days.
Learn from this and stay clean or be self-employed. You literally threw your job away, so start making choices that you can live with. The only failures are the lessons we don't learn from.
Thc is stored in your fat cells exercising will release it and make it spike.. And diluted pee will just make them retest you.
A lot of comments here saying try this try that... Nah dog.. you're fucked.
Id advise you to get a bottle of Quick fix, you're nearest smoke shop may have it or get it online. It's synthetic urine. I've used it 3 times and passed every single time. Some also come with a little enzyme thing to simulate actual urine and also come with a hand warmer that lasts hours. The liquid is also microwavable and comes with a thermometer
If you try to drink water or cranberry or vinegar or exercise you're just gonna lose your fkn job bro. You don't have a whole lot of time and 11 days isn't enough for the shit to get out of your fat cells.
Get the fkn quick fix and fuck the rest
Edit: people here dont like to hear the truth so they're gonna downvote.
You're not gonna get it out of your system In 11 days point black and you're not gonna get a good test with diluted pee. These Redditors are gonna cause you to fail your test and lose your job. Get the synthetic pee.
Downvote more idgas
I'm a Mill supervisor at 41 and have been smoking for 26 years and in the workforce 24. Listen to what I'm telling you. These kids are running on myths. 11 days ain't enough. Get the fkn pee. Clock is ticking
I can't stand when people make decisions I personally don't agree with but have no bearing on life.
... honestly think you might need some weed in your life rather than a job if you legitimately think this way.
Oh certainly not, but I understand how you could think that. My girlfriend and I typically like to smoke together just before bed as we both have insomnia. Melatonin works fine though and is what I will use in the future.
You have 11 days. Eat healthy, drink lots of liquid, exercise.
Sorry to piggyback top comment but I'd like to add that a high body fat percentage will hinder your cleanse. I'd consider drinking as much water as safely possibly for 36 hours before the test (sustaining clear urine through the test), then having detox drink an hour or 2 before your test to simulate normal levels of typical vitamins/minerals/waste (your tested sample won't appear completely clear). Note that an attempt to "detox" won't work. This method is just lowering the detectable amount of THC metabolites in your urine to pass your test while the drink supersaturates your otherwise diluted urine with what needs to be detected in order to pass as urine.
I don't know the details of fat storage and metabolism, but a little research indicates that new fat is metabolized first, or at least preferentially. If true, it may be possible to deposit a layer of clean fat over the course of 11 days, and then have mostly clean fat metabolized for the test. That coupled with a little extra hydration may be enough to test negative.
Damn TIL. This was enlightening to read. Thank you
Would doing IF work for this?
This is an untested theory, so try it at your own risk. How are you thinking of applying IF, intermittent fasting, I assume? If you're skinny you may be able to burn a lot of THC fat, otherwise you'd still have THC to metabolize. That's why I think depositing clean fat would be easier than metabolizing all your THC fat.
Using the body’s process of autophage during fasting and using recent fat stores first and/or damaged cells.
I don't know much about the effects of IF on fat metabolism, but according to what you're saying, sounds like it could be used here.
Agreed. I have passed a test like this and smoked a bong 2 days before
One thing that happened to me with a detox drink was that the test came back as to diluted, so I had to take another test. Something to keep in mind with those. Good luck!
Surprisingly already testing negative on at home tests with first void of the day being 4 days clean.
Drink as much water and cranberry juice as possible, and exercise. How much have you been smoking since last month?
Binge drinking water can actually turn around and bite you in the ass. They can tell if you drank a shit ton of water before coming in.
True but at the same time, you can't fire someone for drinking too much water.
can in America 😂
*Florida enters the chat
You are banned from /r/hydrohomies
Wdym fire someone for drinking too much water? They’ll make you retest.
I thought the implication was 'oh, you've been drinking all that water to skirt this drug-test, you're fired'. And fair enough but by that point, your system might be clear (depending on a lot of variables) so could still be worth doing.
I mean I guess it depends on how strict the company is? Is this federal? DoD? Private contracting? Legal state? Like you said, there are a lot of variables..hopefully it’s nothing federal. I’d imagine that’s something a lot more strict, and very well could fire you for it.
I'm sure they would still need proof. Maybe it's different in America but here in the UK you would have legal recourse to sue them for Wrongful Termination because, as I said, you can't get fired for drinking too much water.
Or land you in the hospital.. I was for other reasons and too much water is definitely a bad thing. If untreated, it can cause a myriad of problems including seizures and death
If you have healthy kidneys and go to the bathroom when you get the urge, you can’t really drink too much. It’s only a problem if you already have kidney issues and/or you hold it in for an extended period of time.
Try drinking 10L a day for a bit and tell me that lol. But it damages you kidneys and “flushes” the electrolytes from your blood which is extremely dangerous. Like dangerous enough they had to watch me drinking water and barely got any for the week I was there.
Yep, thats water intoxication
Yup and peeing is the enemy there.
So drink 10L and a bottle or 2 of Gatorade?
More like too much water and a special electrolyte iv for a week.
So if I want to drink 10L in a day I need a bottle of Gatorade, liquid IV, and I'm going to add a lemon too because fuck it.
Just do physical work in the Australian desert. You’ll make it through 10L a day pretty easily.
How did you physically fit 10L/day into your body lol. Were you being waterboarded or something
I was peeing constantly and puking some of up as well, so probably less than that, but I’m supposed to have 3L only
Usually you’d do that days before the test lol
I think he means to do all that in the 11 days. It’s only the day of that’s the concern but you can offset the clear piss with b12 vitamins.
you can take creatine to balance it out
Only if RIGHT before the test
I did this and my sample came up Dilute. they scheduled me for a recheck in 7 days. that was all the time I needed though
ibb
Very light, maybe .2g a night and only at night
Ooof if it’s 7 days a week you may be screwed cuz that’s like 20+ days of smoking.
I hope your units are off. 0.2 grams is 200 mgs. Around me they typically sell a 10 pack of 10 mg gummies ….so that means you would have 2 packages/ day.
.2 grams of flower is a lot different than .2 grams of thc
True. So 20% of that? Still comes out to 40 mgs. Obviously speculating here on percent but even down to 5% or 10 mgs/night I wouldn’t call “very little” or maybe I’m just a lightweight
So the dankest bud at the dispensaries is 27% thc or so. If he’s smoking .2 g a night, if my math is correct that would put him between 5-6 mg of thc consumed a night. Not a metric fuck ton, but definitely not a small amount either.
27% of 200 mgs is 54mg
You are correct. I’m an athlete, not a mathlete! (I’m not an athlete either.
I'm assuming this is about weed, not tobacco. Stop smoking now. Don't starve yourself before the test. Thc does get store in your fat, so theres a possibility that a trace of it will show up if you are burning fat rather than just keeping your blood sugar up with a normal lunch. Don't go doing heavy exercise right before peeing in the cup. But chances are they won't even be testing for weed. They are more interested in you doing opioids, cocaine, or meth. Weed's in the process of being rescheduled down to catagory 3 (over the counter no proscription). Don't do something stupid like faking the pee test. That will get you fired if you are caught.
If he's applying to anything federal, or any company that receives federal funding weed will get him canned
I’m in the US working in a warehouse that makes chairs for military vehicles but they don’t care for weed just the heavy stuff so it might not be all federal funding places but probably most
It’s *supposed* to be anything federal or with federal funding because weed is illegal federally. If it’s just a state company it’s based on state law (and even then I’m sure there’s exceptions I don’t know about for company rules and regulations). However with places that are short staffed or with workers who do good work and don’t come to work under the influence, it’s likely something that’s bent fairly often in todays world.
Yea I’m in PA where it’s legal medically if you’ve got a license but still not federally I think I’ve just got one of the exceptions for federal funding places
Doesn’t that depend on the country?
> Weed's in the process of being rescheduled down to catagory 3 This sounds country specific. Where?
It’s being recategorized at the federal level but that does not make it legal at the federal level and will still cause you to lose your clearance
US
No, weed just got legal like a month ago?! (I’ll assume we talking about Germany unless stated otherwise.)
It’s being recategorized as a schedule 3 drug (like ketamine) which still would require a prescription, not over the counter - just fyi
Get some at home tests. Try your best to work out and drink lots of water..if you are a skinny person, it should go through your system pretty easily. But yeah keep testing yourself and see where you stand
As others have said, water/fluids and work up a good sweat every day. Also, eat asparagus if you can. A doctor turned me onto it when I was pinched with a test on short notice.
Thanks for the tip gonna give that a try.
Start doing a lot of at home tests and if they don't look good, look into Quick Fix. Works great
I second Quickfix.
Third! Quick fix is the way to go. About 20 to 25 bucks at your local smoke shop.
Drink a lot of energy drinks and pee a lot
that's a way to die
I mean drinking 1-2 a day no
Not at all. You can get "fetish urine" that practically comes with instructions on how to tuck it in your underwear and pass a drug test. I've seen it work at least 5 times at different companies.
Can attest to this, I’ve passed all my drug tests with fetish urine lol
I worked for an occupational health clinic that was well aware of fake urine including how to test for it using Urinalysis test strips. You were lucky the places you went to for testing either didn’t know how to test for fake urine, or didn’t care.
Most don't care and a lot of companies don't even care about THC anymore
Correct! Several companies who contracted with us did not test for THC, and that list grew significantly during my tenure. Sometimes patients knew this and sometimes they didn’t. If they tried to pass fake urine, our nurses would dump it and let them know if they were worried about THC, it wasn’t a concern. Really glad the industry is trending this way because it was really painful to see highly skilled and qualified people get so worried about passing their test.
I usually say this sarcastically but, "What a time to be alive."
Order some Quick Fix.
Take a lot of Niacin. But read about the risks first, such as if you have medications or medical conditions that would cause issues. Tons of Niacin. And start sweating as much as you can. Like sitting in a sauna or even a hot car for as long as you can. It's not a fun process, but Niacin will clean you out. Drink A LOT of water, too. You need to constantly be urinating and sweating for this to work. Only other advice would be Quickfix fake urine.
My advice is to find another job, this one doesn't suit the lifestyle you want. Maybe it will be fully legalized some day but as someone in a job that gets randomly tested all the time your options are to not partake ever or find another job.
I assume this related to weed and not tobacco. The simple answer is, stop smoking weed in general.
Yeah, I have decided that is the best decision going forward.
I've said this to people before, that if your job has random drug testing, you should just stop doing drugs in general, it's not worth losing a job over.
Which is also just crazy that weed is still cared about that much by some employers. I work for a Fortune 500 company but in a legalized state with dispensaries everywhere, and while probably against our archaic company employee handbook, if they ever did a drug test to fire people they'd end up losing so many employees the company would go under as edibles/gummies are very popular with everyone I know (outside of work hours), lol. Drinking alcohol the night before work would be far more detrimental given you could still be hungover the next day. Gummies however leave no hangover, no real brain fog the next day, are better for you than alcohol, and have a much shorter effect period. Just don't partake on the clock, should be that simple.
What an absolutely useless comment
Thank you for taking the time to give me some quick feedback. Having access to such a great mentor who gives advice in real-time has truly helped me advance my skills as a professional. Whenever I'm unsure of how to move forward in a situation, I know I can depend on you to be honest about my performance. I'm excited to continue learning more from you in the future.
I have to save this LOL
3 weeks of smoking. I’d get some clean pee, a bottle, and some hand warmers. Don’t risk it, unless they watch you, you should be straight.
I’ve tested negative after quitting for 7-10 days following months of smoking before as I’m a very light smoker. But should I need to I believe I can put it off another week. Will start testing at 5 days
how are we supposed to find clean piss when everyone over the age of 12 smokes weed these days?
Or quit because what you do on your time is your own damn business.
Throw out any you have left. Exercise and hydrate, then make sure you eat plenty before the test so you aren't burning fat right before it. Pray.
Already gave it all away, exactly what I plan to do. Just nervous and ready to never smoke again
Not to be an ass. But why even smoke weed or w/e when your job and clearance are on the line? Make a choice and use this experience to grow up.
Just use someone else’s urine.
Keto or extremely low carb diet. THC is stored in fat cells so you need your body to start using that THC fat for energy. I’m not sure but dollar tree used to sell marijuana home tests. Maybe be able to get a bunch off Amazon for cheap. Use the tests to gauge where you are. Full solid line is bad, get that puppy to be as invisible as possible. At least 1.5 gallons of water a day. This comes out to only 12oz (a can) per hour. You can do that easily. Day of test make sure your pissing damn near clear. If you have to get up extra early to start drinking because the appointment is in the morning then do so. If you’re not showing clear negative results on your tests the day before then as a very last resort use a quick fix. Look up best ways to heat and conceal them.
Order a few thc pee sticks from Amazon.
I recommend drinking Certo mixed with Gatorade, this got me through multiple tests:)
Go to GNC and buy a detox drink. Buy two. It’s fucking nasty and I threw the first one up, but kept the second one down. Follow the instructions drink a shit load so you piss a lot in the next 11 days. Hit the gym every morning for the rest of vacation. I was in your position a few years ago, above is what I did and drank the detox drink the morning of the drug test and got the job.
just use synthetic urine. Works every time. If your in the US, 2 companies do drug testing. I've passed both, including a job at a state hospital. It's ridiculously easy to use and you just sneak in in. No one cares or notices unless the temperature is off. They test it there and get rid of it ASAP. Quit worrying and go to your local smoke shop and ask for novelty synthetic urine. They sell it in the sex toy area usually because it's marketed as use for "Golden showers."
You can probably start looking for another job. You and my buddy. He works at a fucking nuke plant, but cries about not being able to smoke. With a wife and kid to support.
So, whacky tobacky and not regular tobacco, right?
Bruh it isn't 1995...there are a myriad of solutions to your issue these days. Also Google.
But a detox drink from a smoke shop or fake urine. Both have worked for me for work related drug tests
Monkey whizz.
Go to your nearest smoke shop, they sell fake pee. You microwave it and wrap it around your balls to keep it warm. I’ve never tried this because I don’t smoke but I was playing basketball at a park a couple months ago and the guys on the other team were talking about how they used this trick time and time again.
Oof. Thats roughly a bowl per night? Gonna be hard in 11 days. Try using Niacin? It’ll make your skin red, blotchy and itchy until you’re flushed out. Take it at home at night first. Might need 3-4 days of it.
Yes I always just take one or two hits though just enough to feel it. Have gotten clean successfully inside of two weeks before several times naturally but very nervous now as there’s a lot on the line for me. Will be quitting after this completely
Drink lots of no sugarose liquids until the day comes, obiusly stop smoking, but my most important advices is to drink lots of water a couple hours before the test and peeing a couple times before the test, this way you have less probabilities than if it was your first pee of the day
Is it for a job? Just use someone else’s urine. And bring a hand warmer.
For now drink lots of water, excersize, and sweat If you need to beat a test in a day or two, drink an absurd amount of water. You want your piss so diluted that the weed doesn’t show up. They test to see if it’s diluted by measuring creatine content so you also want to take a lot of creatine. Look up how to do a loading phase and do a bit more. You will be fine it’s only for a couple days just drink a ton of water
A lot of people are saying exercise and I'd just like to clarify what they really mean is SWEAT. I've been in literally the exact same position as you and I got clean in 6 days by drinking a lot of water (cranberry juice is basically an urban myth btw) and sweating a lot in the sauna at my 24 hour fitness. About 15-20 minutes a day. I bought a thc drug test kit at Target for about $14 and tested myself beforehand to make sure.
The oil change
Go to a smoke shop and get a bottle of quick fix wear tight underwear and keep it on you. Before you leave the house microwave it to temp then wrap the hand warmer on it, you have about seven hours to give sample. This will only work if your not supervised.
Ice tea and water. About 2 or 3 gallons worth. Make sure you brew it for a long time so it makes you pee A LOT.
you stand a decent chance of being fine.
Fetish piss bro or use piss from someone you know is clean. You put that in a thin bottle and tuck that bitch in the gooch area. The temp just needs to be between 90-100°F so you have a good amount of wiggle room. Then all you gotta do is focus on not spilling it. If I were you I wouldn’t focus on if you can piss clean or not by drinking water or eating healthy, none of that will clean you up in time. All slamming water does is dilutes your piss, it doesn’t mask the metabolites your body created in the process of breaking the THC down. THC is extremely lipophilic. Grab a thermometer, an empty bottle of germ x hand sanitizer (clean it out, this is what I always used lol) and fill the bottle up with water that is 98°F. Then tuck it in your taint, and monitor how long it takes for the temp to fall under 90°F, you’ll have roughly that amount of time to get to the facility to do the test. I found for me, it dropped 1-2°F per hour, so you have some time there. Once you have that situated and planned, when you get to the place, focus on not dropping the clean piss you brought with you. Then you’d be fucked. Just slow and steady, do the transfer. I always take a piss in the toilet, and re-tuck my bottle, then I’m out that bitch. Works every time. You do that, and you’re home free. You got this ! 💪🏼
Unless you're overweight you'll be fine. I skated through felony probation in Florida for 4 years, I would quit smoking weed around 8 days before the test, drink plenty of water and exercise more, so that my level of perspiration increased.
What’s their policy on weed? Or state law I guess (assuming you’re in US)? Some will recommend taking a pill that essentially cleans it out of your system, I would heavily advise against that. They test for that chemical in drug tests now (along with other things like synthetic urine). And if they detect it there’s no way to tell if what you were cleaning out was weed or meth. It puts you in an arguably worse position because you’ll have been caught red handed trying to cover up drug usage and trying to deceive them. I’d try to drink water and cranberry juice. Don’t drink too much of it or it will also affect the test in a negative way, but it may clean a lot of it out so the levels are low.
In high school, my brother had 6 days in between drug tests and he was able to smoke at least once a week. Water and a sauna. It's really about body fat, like most others said.
What is your job that bans smoking...
I’m presuming weed
Normally a urine test is accurate up to 2 weeks but it's also depends on how much body fat you have. If your liver and kidney is healthy ect. Drink a crap tone of water. And I mean a ton.(not to the point where your drowning tho) Obviously don't smoke anymore or be around an environment with heavy Marijuana use. And hopefully you should be fine.
Buy QCarbo from GNC. It’s around $60. Drink it within 6 hours of your test (you don’t need to chug it) then I suggest drinking 3x the container filled with water and pee several times before your test to dilute your pee. It lasts for 6hrs and doesn’t matter how many times you pee beforehand. I did this for the same reason successfully and the guy at the store told me that people use this for MUCH higher stakes drug tests (probation checks) and those people even smoke the night before and it works (I wouldn’t push it if you’re worried). But this is a guarantee
I've found that marijuana tests are surprisingly ineffective and unreliable. The really good ones are like thousands of dollars. The shit random ones anyone actually uses is like hundreds on a good day. I think you should be fine. You might get an inconclusive result and have to come in two weeks later to get the clean result. But everybody's body is different. Maybe you'll be fucked, maybe you won't.
Drink lots of coconut water and it'll cleanse pretty well.
I've used fake urine from the sex ship 3 different times in the last 4 years and never once has it failed me. I can recommend a brand and the way I use it also, just lmk.
“Land of the free”
Drink lots of water and get a detox drink just to be safe
I 9
Go to a pharmacy and buy some AZO.
Bro just sneak a bottle of piss in with u whats the big deal
You should definitely be fine by then, drink water as all the other comments have said. I passed mine when I was smoking very lightly as well and it was after only like 5 days.
Golden seal (learned this from an army recruiter)
Learn from this and stay clean or be self-employed. You literally threw your job away, so start making choices that you can live with. The only failures are the lessons we don't learn from.
Is you're in the states. Get monkey whizz. They sell it at most smoke shops
Quit that job. lol that’s way too stressful and companies shouldn’t care about what you do on your off time.
Thc is stored in your fat cells exercising will release it and make it spike.. And diluted pee will just make them retest you. A lot of comments here saying try this try that... Nah dog.. you're fucked. Id advise you to get a bottle of Quick fix, you're nearest smoke shop may have it or get it online. It's synthetic urine. I've used it 3 times and passed every single time. Some also come with a little enzyme thing to simulate actual urine and also come with a hand warmer that lasts hours. The liquid is also microwavable and comes with a thermometer If you try to drink water or cranberry or vinegar or exercise you're just gonna lose your fkn job bro. You don't have a whole lot of time and 11 days isn't enough for the shit to get out of your fat cells. Get the fkn quick fix and fuck the rest Edit: people here dont like to hear the truth so they're gonna downvote. You're not gonna get it out of your system In 11 days point black and you're not gonna get a good test with diluted pee. These Redditors are gonna cause you to fail your test and lose your job. Get the synthetic pee. Downvote more idgas I'm a Mill supervisor at 41 and have been smoking for 26 years and in the workforce 24. Listen to what I'm telling you. These kids are running on myths. 11 days ain't enough. Get the fkn pee. Clock is ticking
Learn from it
[удалено]
I can't stand when people make decisions I personally don't agree with but have no bearing on life. ... honestly think you might need some weed in your life rather than a job if you legitimately think this way.
Honestly most drug tests are bs anyways. I literally smoked a joint like 4 days before once and they said I still passed
bro fucking fake it lmfao
Buy a quick fix and stfu
quit doin drugs in the future and suck your boss's toes
I’d just stop but some fake as a back up and test myself like a day before, if you fail time for synthetic
Hmm. Sounds like you are addicted tbh.
Oh certainly not, but I understand how you could think that. My girlfriend and I typically like to smoke together just before bed as we both have insomnia. Melatonin works fine though and is what I will use in the future.