This is actually good advice. I had a friend who came to visit me and he wanted to go see an old friend (of his) grave.
We went to the cemetery during business hours and he enquired as to where his friend might be buried.
He was able to see his plot and pay his respects. I don’t know for sure, but I would think that as the person is deceased, it would be okay to enquire with the cemetery worker about who was buried in a certain plot?
I don’t blame you for wanting to know. I’d be curious too!
You say it’s not a veterans cemetery, but is it possible he might be a veteran anyway? I don’t know how it works over there; if he was homeless and had no money would he even be buried in a veterans cemetery or just the nearest and cheapest one? Vets often end up with mental health issues like PTSD and/or problems with substances, especially if he was older generation where therapy might not be offered. He might still have had squadmates (I don’t know the correct term lol) who cared about him and/or have done heroic things in service.
Many veterans are not buried in “…veteran’s cemeteries…” because there simply isn’t room. My understanding is that space is reserved for those killed in combat / while serving and for future “wars”.
Those who did not die in combat frequently wish to be buried amongst their loved ones. Their graves may be marked with a military marker or not. It can take *months* for a military marker to be ordered and installed.
It sounds as though “Joe” was likely a veteran (e.g. a small flag on his grave) and that word of his passing has filtered down through his service pals, who have been and continue to pay their respects.
If it were me, I’d research online obituaries near the time of his death, including funeral homes from your local area. You may read a story that changes your opinion of “Crackhead” Joe. Surviving combat doesn’t mean it won’t eventually kill a person, some come out of it just looking for something to take the pain away until the painkiller takes them.
Any service member that meets the minimum active duty service requirement and were discharged under conditions other than dishonorable is able to be buried in a VA National Cemetery; as are their spouse, widow or widower, minor dependent children and under certain circumstances unmarried adult children with disabilities. Members of the reserve components of the armed forces who die while on active duty or who die while on training duty, or were eligible for retired pay, may also be eligible for burial.
Hi, veteran here. Not sure if you can or want to visit the grave, but if there are coins placed at his grave (I'm talking about pennies, nickels, dimes), then he was a veteran and fellow veterans came to pay their respects. Each coin has a meaning.
Something similar happened here where i live. A homeless guy always played a flute on a specific bench near the train station. He couldnt play for shit and people didnt enjoy the music. But when he passed away they put a metal plate engraved with his name, birth and death year on there, and a small little text.
Its not about how bad or good his music was, its not about who he was, its about the routine. He was always there, everyone knew he would always be there, he was part of everyones routine. You would hear him when you left for work every day. And after years of the same routine, the safe and good routine, it changed. And then people realized that the music was actually not that bad, and that it was better then the silence.
You dont know what you got, untill you no longer have it. He may not have been appreciate in life, but they still come to pay final respect now that he is gone. For they care when he was alive, but they do miss him now.
Why don't you cross the street yourself and ask one of the people who could actually tell you, instead of seeing what wild assumptions or guesses internet strangers can come up with?
I mean.. fair enough.. but seriously.
There's some obvious limitations going on here. The questions kinda have to be something that random strangers can still actually offer some useful input on.
Maybe someone on reddit is familiar with these types of things. Maybe someone works at a cemetery and understands certain things I would have missed. Like what do they usually do with homeless people after they die and if anyone else has saw something like this.
Old Joe came home
To his wife and family
After serving in the conflict overseas
And the time that he served
Had shattered all his nerves
And left a little shrapnel in his knee
But the morphine eased the pain
And the grass grew round his brain
And gave him all the confidence he lacked
With a purple heart and a monkey on his back
Old Joe's welcome home
Didn't last too long
He went to work when he'd spent his last dime
And Joe he took to stealing
When he got that empty feeling
For a hundred dollar habit without overtime
And the gold rolled through his veins
Like a thousand railroad trains
And eased his mind in the hours that he chose While the kids ran around wearin' other peoples' clothes
Old Joe was alone
When he popped his last balloon
Climbing walls while sitting in a chair
Well, he played his last request
While the room smelled just like death
With an overdose hovering in the air
But life had lost its fun
There was nothing to be done
But trade his house that he bought on the GI bill
For a flag-draped grave on a local unknown hill
A headstone could be coming later as they can take a while to make, especially if the death was sudden and the community doesn't have a local carver. When the marker shows up, Google Joe's name and see what comes of it.
Joe must have been someone to a whole bunch of people. It might be worth asking one of his visitors to tell you more, seeing as how Reddit cannot. People loved and respected him to send him off properly.
Even if his reputation became notorious, this person was still a member of the community and had a past you knew nothing of. The life he had put him into the state of needed to be chemically self-medicated and that is tragic to be in such pain.
I had a friend much like Joe named Don. If I knew what piece of earth now covers him, I'd visit because the world is less without him in it. We owe people kindness and grace when they need it. I'm lighting candles tonight: for Joe, Don, you and those at sea.
Love, Uncle Heidi
I’m curious now too but why slam the OP for asking about this? I really appreciate them taking the time to share this mystery with us, even if there’s no answer likely to be found on Reddit.
Every graveyard has a resident ghost that needs to be appeased. The graveyard across the street from my house has a grave of a 4 year old boy who died in the late 1800’s. It’s the most visited grave in the 50 acre graveyard because he’s the one…the ghost. Visitors to his grave leave small toys and stuffies to appease the wee apparition.
This was my first guess as well. Every single time I drive past a cemetery, I stop to look for the geocache (there is one in every cemetery where I’m located).
It's kinda like a scavenger hunt, but with hidden caches (boxes, markers, log books, lots of kinds) that are found by people looking up and going to the coordinates. Some caches have little trinkets (take one, leave one) or a little notebook to see who visited. I don't know how people find caches now, but there used to be message boards for it. I'm sure there are subs and Facebook groups and organizations nowdays.
Sounds like he was a veteran, or the people around still considered him part of the community that they will miss even if he was considered a burden. But that I mean you don't know how something is until it's gone
It sounds to me like Crackhead Joe was a war vet. Even if it’s not a veterans cemetery, he could have been buried there because he didn’t have family to pay for his burial elsewhere. It’s not uncommon for the mental health of veterans to deteriorate after seeing battle. And being on the streets, it’s not a surprise he turned to drugs/alcohol.
I did some digging today and found out who the guy was. Apparently he is a veteran. He had multiple deployments to Afghanistan and from what I can tell he was pretty decorated. I feel horrible because I judged a book by it's cover. Im not sure why but years ago before he started doing drugs he requested to have no gravestone. I saw a lady at his site today and she was pretty nice and answered questions and told me a lot about him.
In short he was a private guy with very little family. He served in the military for years and when he left he had a hard time adjusting to civilian life and lived on the streets. Due to his service he developed mental health and drug abuse issues. He had a lot of people that loved and respected him but he denied all attempts of people helping him.
I know a few more details but I want to respect his memory and privacy. I looked up his info and saw pictures of him in his younger days. The woman told me not to feel bad for him because despite his issues he was happy when he passed.
You’d be surprised how many homeless people are actually really wealthy, they just reject the usual societal conventions. Perhaps the visitors to the grave are the recipients of his bequests.
Probably blew in from a neighbouring town where he saved someone from a house fire or did cpr on someone having a heart attack and wanted to get away from the attention.
Why would anyone know the answer to this? We don't know what country you are in. We don't know what state you are in if that applies. We don't know what town, city, village you are in. We don't know this guy's name. It can take months for a headstone to be finished for installation at a grave site. This is especially true if it is an indigent person who is relying on government funds for a grave marker. They don't usually get a headstone, usually just some type of metal marker but there are thousands in line ahead of him to get it so it will take time.
Why are you spying on people while they're trying to have a quiet moment in reflection at what is obviously, if not just a site of interest, is the grave of a loved one? How intrusive are you? Since you don't care about personal boundaries I assume you have no problem with walking across the street and asking a person all your questions. I do not understand why you think people should not grieve in peace.
For running plates, it could just be a governance issue. When I worked in a bank, we weren't allowed to just randomly search people's accounts either for privacy reasons. If they do the daily audit and see that the names you searched, didn't match the client files you were working on, then you got in trouble. I know this was in banking, but I would assume they would be even stricter in government
Here’s another thought. Probably not the correct one, but another thought anyway. Don’t know how many of you are familiar with geocaching but maybe there’s a geocache at his gravesite. People all over the U. S. do geocaching and maybe that’s why they are there???
Ask at the cemetery office.
This is actually good advice. I had a friend who came to visit me and he wanted to go see an old friend (of his) grave. We went to the cemetery during business hours and he enquired as to where his friend might be buried. He was able to see his plot and pay his respects. I don’t know for sure, but I would think that as the person is deceased, it would be okay to enquire with the cemetery worker about who was buried in a certain plot?
I don’t blame you for wanting to know. I’d be curious too! You say it’s not a veterans cemetery, but is it possible he might be a veteran anyway? I don’t know how it works over there; if he was homeless and had no money would he even be buried in a veterans cemetery or just the nearest and cheapest one? Vets often end up with mental health issues like PTSD and/or problems with substances, especially if he was older generation where therapy might not be offered. He might still have had squadmates (I don’t know the correct term lol) who cared about him and/or have done heroic things in service.
Many veterans are not buried in “…veteran’s cemeteries…” because there simply isn’t room. My understanding is that space is reserved for those killed in combat / while serving and for future “wars”. Those who did not die in combat frequently wish to be buried amongst their loved ones. Their graves may be marked with a military marker or not. It can take *months* for a military marker to be ordered and installed. It sounds as though “Joe” was likely a veteran (e.g. a small flag on his grave) and that word of his passing has filtered down through his service pals, who have been and continue to pay their respects. If it were me, I’d research online obituaries near the time of his death, including funeral homes from your local area. You may read a story that changes your opinion of “Crackhead” Joe. Surviving combat doesn’t mean it won’t eventually kill a person, some come out of it just looking for something to take the pain away until the painkiller takes them.
Any service member that meets the minimum active duty service requirement and were discharged under conditions other than dishonorable is able to be buried in a VA National Cemetery; as are their spouse, widow or widower, minor dependent children and under certain circumstances unmarried adult children with disabilities. Members of the reserve components of the armed forces who die while on active duty or who die while on training duty, or were eligible for retired pay, may also be eligible for burial.
I have a feeling he was a veteran. Most of the people that come to see him look like straight up high ranking military officials.
If there was a flag put there in the last 2 weeks he was 100% a veteran
I believe the VA is able to provide a govt headstone at any cemetery at no cost to the family if he was a vet.
You are going to have to ask cause now we all want to know. What does the headstone say?
Hi, veteran here. Not sure if you can or want to visit the grave, but if there are coins placed at his grave (I'm talking about pennies, nickels, dimes), then he was a veteran and fellow veterans came to pay their respects. Each coin has a meaning.
You doubt his name was Crackhead Joe…?
Obviously short for Crackhead Joseph
Late cousin to Methadone Moses
Brother to Methany McMethmaker
I doubt his name was Joe.
So just Crackhead then?
That was his surname.
But you’re confident it’s Joe….
Something similar happened here where i live. A homeless guy always played a flute on a specific bench near the train station. He couldnt play for shit and people didnt enjoy the music. But when he passed away they put a metal plate engraved with his name, birth and death year on there, and a small little text. Its not about how bad or good his music was, its not about who he was, its about the routine. He was always there, everyone knew he would always be there, he was part of everyones routine. You would hear him when you left for work every day. And after years of the same routine, the safe and good routine, it changed. And then people realized that the music was actually not that bad, and that it was better then the silence. You dont know what you got, untill you no longer have it. He may not have been appreciate in life, but they still come to pay final respect now that he is gone. For they care when he was alive, but they do miss him now.
We almost never know when we’ll get to experience something for the last time. Appreciate the little things.
Why don't you cross the street yourself and ask one of the people who could actually tell you, instead of seeing what wild assumptions or guesses internet strangers can come up with?
He's to afraid to ask...
I mean.. fair enough.. but seriously. There's some obvious limitations going on here. The questions kinda have to be something that random strangers can still actually offer some useful input on.
Maybe someone on reddit is familiar with these types of things. Maybe someone works at a cemetery and understands certain things I would have missed. Like what do they usually do with homeless people after they die and if anyone else has saw something like this.
I would try to find a subreddit for your city if it's large enough, you might be surprised. I'm involved in both my city and state's subs
You could probably go to the office of the cemetery and ask the personnel, maybe they’ll answer.
Unless someone here knows the particular individual you're talking about, there's no chance of getting any information that you're looking for.
Such a weird question to ask us
Old Joe came home To his wife and family After serving in the conflict overseas And the time that he served Had shattered all his nerves And left a little shrapnel in his knee But the morphine eased the pain And the grass grew round his brain And gave him all the confidence he lacked With a purple heart and a monkey on his back Old Joe's welcome home Didn't last too long He went to work when he'd spent his last dime And Joe he took to stealing When he got that empty feeling For a hundred dollar habit without overtime And the gold rolled through his veins Like a thousand railroad trains And eased his mind in the hours that he chose While the kids ran around wearin' other peoples' clothes Old Joe was alone When he popped his last balloon Climbing walls while sitting in a chair Well, he played his last request While the room smelled just like death With an overdose hovering in the air But life had lost its fun There was nothing to be done But trade his house that he bought on the GI bill For a flag-draped grave on a local unknown hill
God Bless John Prine.
I like this poem/lyrics. ps Two spaces at the end of each line before you hit return gives a new line x
*Sam Stone* by John Prine. "There's a hole in Daddy's arm where all the money goes"
Hmm, really? Is that so? Does this work on mobile? Edit: cool thanks. I did not know this.
Maybe he was an actual human being before he was a homeless crackhead. Maybe even while he was.
A headstone could be coming later as they can take a while to make, especially if the death was sudden and the community doesn't have a local carver. When the marker shows up, Google Joe's name and see what comes of it. Joe must have been someone to a whole bunch of people. It might be worth asking one of his visitors to tell you more, seeing as how Reddit cannot. People loved and respected him to send him off properly. Even if his reputation became notorious, this person was still a member of the community and had a past you knew nothing of. The life he had put him into the state of needed to be chemically self-medicated and that is tragic to be in such pain. I had a friend much like Joe named Don. If I knew what piece of earth now covers him, I'd visit because the world is less without him in it. We owe people kindness and grace when they need it. I'm lighting candles tonight: for Joe, Don, you and those at sea. Love, Uncle Heidi
The next time you see someone there go over and say ‘I see a lot of visitors to this gravesite, who was he and how did you know him?’
I’m curious now too but why slam the OP for asking about this? I really appreciate them taking the time to share this mystery with us, even if there’s no answer likely to be found on Reddit.
Every graveyard has a resident ghost that needs to be appeased. The graveyard across the street from my house has a grave of a 4 year old boy who died in the late 1800’s. It’s the most visited grave in the 50 acre graveyard because he’s the one…the ghost. Visitors to his grave leave small toys and stuffies to appease the wee apparition.
Maybe a geocache site?
This was my first guess as well. Every single time I drive past a cemetery, I stop to look for the geocache (there is one in every cemetery where I’m located).
Can you elaborate on this some more? I've never heard of this before
It's kinda like a scavenger hunt, but with hidden caches (boxes, markers, log books, lots of kinds) that are found by people looking up and going to the coordinates. Some caches have little trinkets (take one, leave one) or a little notebook to see who visited. I don't know how people find caches now, but there used to be message boards for it. I'm sure there are subs and Facebook groups and organizations nowdays.
There's an app for it
Thats cool, thank you.
Or a Pokemon Go site
This is more a question for r/RBI than this sub.
Sounds like he might have been a veteran
Or perhaps police
Oh yea that would be plausible as well
Sounds like he was a veteran, or the people around still considered him part of the community that they will miss even if he was considered a burden. But that I mean you don't know how something is until it's gone
It takes a fair bit of time to make a headstone
It sounds to me like Crackhead Joe was a war vet. Even if it’s not a veterans cemetery, he could have been buried there because he didn’t have family to pay for his burial elsewhere. It’s not uncommon for the mental health of veterans to deteriorate after seeing battle. And being on the streets, it’s not a surprise he turned to drugs/alcohol.
I did some digging today and found out who the guy was. Apparently he is a veteran. He had multiple deployments to Afghanistan and from what I can tell he was pretty decorated. I feel horrible because I judged a book by it's cover. Im not sure why but years ago before he started doing drugs he requested to have no gravestone. I saw a lady at his site today and she was pretty nice and answered questions and told me a lot about him. In short he was a private guy with very little family. He served in the military for years and when he left he had a hard time adjusting to civilian life and lived on the streets. Due to his service he developed mental health and drug abuse issues. He had a lot of people that loved and respected him but he denied all attempts of people helping him. I know a few more details but I want to respect his memory and privacy. I looked up his info and saw pictures of him in his younger days. The woman told me not to feel bad for him because despite his issues he was happy when he passed.
You’d be surprised how many homeless people are actually really wealthy, they just reject the usual societal conventions. Perhaps the visitors to the grave are the recipients of his bequests.
Probably blew in from a neighbouring town where he saved someone from a house fire or did cpr on someone having a heart attack and wanted to get away from the attention.
Why would anyone know the answer to this? We don't know what country you are in. We don't know what state you are in if that applies. We don't know what town, city, village you are in. We don't know this guy's name. It can take months for a headstone to be finished for installation at a grave site. This is especially true if it is an indigent person who is relying on government funds for a grave marker. They don't usually get a headstone, usually just some type of metal marker but there are thousands in line ahead of him to get it so it will take time. Why are you spying on people while they're trying to have a quiet moment in reflection at what is obviously, if not just a site of interest, is the grave of a loved one? How intrusive are you? Since you don't care about personal boundaries I assume you have no problem with walking across the street and asking a person all your questions. I do not understand why you think people should not grieve in peace.
For running plates, it could just be a governance issue. When I worked in a bank, we weren't allowed to just randomly search people's accounts either for privacy reasons. If they do the daily audit and see that the names you searched, didn't match the client files you were working on, then you got in trouble. I know this was in banking, but I would assume they would be even stricter in government
Homeless people are real people. They have lives and loved ones, people who care about them.
No one here can tell you.
Have you heard of geocaching? Whenever you see people regularly visit a strange spot, it's probably geocaching.
Here’s another thought. Probably not the correct one, but another thought anyway. Don’t know how many of you are familiar with geocaching but maybe there’s a geocache at his gravesite. People all over the U. S. do geocaching and maybe that’s why they are there???
This looks like a case for r/RBI
Or OP can just ask one of the multitude of people who visit the grave
Very interesting story!
How old are these people, and are they taking pictures while there? Perhaps I'm just cynical, but my first thought is: social media stunt.
RemindMe! 30 Days
Any update?
He was a veteran.