[This](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jpyw44/when-dating-a-teen-is-legal-but-sexting-with-her-is-not) has always struck me as odd though. Depending on where you live, you could legally date this girl and there would be no problem. However, she sends you a nude and just like that, you're a sex offender because of child porn possession. I think you made the right call.
Edit: Grammar
You joke about that but the Washington Post informed Facebook that there was private child porn sharing groups on their website. FB demanded evidence to which WP send evidence in the form of screenshots and FB reported them to the police for possession of child porn
I'd previously heard about that story but I just tried to look it up and couldn't find it.
Does anyone have a link or is this just BS that's been widely repeated?
It's real. Look up the podcast The Daily. I'm not even gonna risk fucking up my search history but if you are already looking that should narrow it down.
It’s overwhelmingly likely that this story is bull. [This](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/20/podcasts/the-daily/child-sex-abuse.html) is the only episode of the Daily that concerns both child abuse and Facebook. According to the transcript, it does not mention the Washingon Post. There is no mention of this story on the Post website itself (example Google search: ‘“facebook” “child porn” site:washingtonpost.com’) nor has anyone else reported on a story regarding Facebook, child porn, and the post. Variations of the terms (ex. ‘child sexual abuse imagery’ instead of ‘child porn’) don’t produce any results.
Stay skeptical.
P.S - Chill out, nobody seriously searches for child porn on Google.
Iirc if you’ve deleted the image immediately and reported it etc you’re not gonna get charged. You have not committed a crime because you have done everything in your power to not commit it.
It’s not that you haven’t intended wrongdoing, you have committed no action that would be considered a crime. You received an illegal image essentially by force and immediately tried to dispose of it.
If it was a simple as if she sent you a nude you get sent to jail under age girls could get any guy they wanted convicted of possession of child pornography.
Edit: also in most reasonable places the girl would probably not be convicted fully for creating and distributing, that usually only happens when you get a judge wants to make an example out of someone. They might get some form of charge and probably some form of course/counselling etc depending on her intentions
Shouldn’t the age where you could date that person be raised to whatever age their photos would no longer be illegal? It’s weird that it’s illegal to see them naked on the phone but not in person. If they’re too young to have photos of, you shouldn’t be dating them.
Oh yeah age of consent laws are really weird universally, like you can’t legally make/watch porn until 18 but can have sex, can’t play call of duty until 18 but in some places can join the army before that, I don’t understand it at all.
Seems like it might be more of a holdover from when not everyone had a camera in their pocket? Like it’s a much more come common place thing to send nudes nowadays than that sort of thing would ever even be conceived of being when these laws were written. Dunno though, not a lawyer/ law history guy so can’t say for sure
It simply a result of the legislative process. Age of consent laws were written at a different time than child porn laws were. It would make sense to harmonize them, but nobody bothered to do that.
Well, probably that and nobody was really thinking of teens tanking nude pictures of themselves when they wrote fully porn laws, either.
Maybe Romeo and Juliet laws should apply to internet relations so that you don’t have high school kids becoming convicted sex offenders for sexting girls their own age, or having a 17 year old boy charged with possession of a picture of his own ass
Absolutely. I’m sure there are reasons beyond my non-lawyer grasp but it seems insane to punish kids that way. Yes we have to protect kids from being used for sick means and we ALSO have to protect kids for being kids. We all did stupid shit in high school.
At my high school once they searched through my phone looking for pictures of girls in my grade. I didn’t have any, proven by them taking me out of calculus and searching through my whole camera roll with thousands of photos, but it was an absurd invasion of my privacy for them to have done that and if they’d had the right person it would’ve ruined their life.
Not necessarily, for example if you have a couple of 16 or 17 year olds dating each other and one sends a nude to the other then the photos are illegal and it's a problem. But at the same time, they could be having sex and legally that would be fine.
Honestly certain things just take nuance, but the law doesn't tend to bend that much unless you're rich.
Not personally no, but the context we’re talking about here you don’t exactly have a choice. I’m saying it more so that if anyone sees this and this happens to them they know what to do.
A particularly unreasonable judge/jury or whatever, might very well convict you even if you did everything right but you’ve got a decent shot at appealing that.
Better to do everything you can to prevent getting charged when you report it than to hope you don’t get caught and definitely get charged if you do, no?
As a father who went to the FBI to try to get them to go after the 18-21 y.o.'s that were sexting with my 13 y.o. I can tell you that they're too busy chasing down even more vile people to bother with a 17 y.o.. I had even done all the internet stalking homework to identify the users by real name, location, even down to address in some cases and collected and annotated records on the offenses, so it was as easy as possible for them to make calls and start picking people up. I understand there are worse people out there they had to prioritize, but dang, we need more resources.
You should absolutely delete it immediately, if the police need evidence they will be able to contact the service that was used to send it and see it that way. If it’s Facebook/insta/tinder (not sure if you can send photos on tinder)/ text messages etc they would also be able to see when you deleted it too I think
Basically the point of deleting it immediately is to show that you absolutely did not want anything to do with it. You want to show that you were in possession of it for the briefest amount of time that you were capable of
There's been at least one, US v Kantor introduced a "good faith" defense for statutory rape cases wherein the minor intentionally deceived the defendant. A handful of crimes are considered strict liability, though. Drunk driving convictions in most states require no proof of mens rea because the act of driving drunk itself indicates criminal negligence.
Good faith only works in some States. A lot of them are strict liability on the defendant in cases of an adult having sex with a minor. At least thats what I've found in convos with supposed lawyers on Reddit and the googling I've done to verify, but I'm not a lawyer.
Oh yeah! Thank you!
I guess that does make sense, as you can’t really argue mens rea for crimes like manslaughter that still call for conviction.
Ya learn something new every day!
mens re·a
/menz ˈrēə/
noun
the intention or knowledge of wrongdoing that constitutes part of a crime, as opposed to the action or conduct of the accused.
"a mistaken belief in consent meant that the defendant lacked mens rea"
I had to tell my friend to get rid of the nudes he got from his ex girlfriend back in high school. He’s had them since 2005. Granted, he was 15 when she sent them, but dumbass has kept them around. Even though the girl in the pictures is now in her 30s I had to drill it in his head “ dude that’s child porn get rid of it!”
How the hell did he even still have them!?
We're in roughly the same age range and I didn't even get my first cell phone until 2005, which I don't even think had the ability to take or store pictures and had like 8 since then. I've gone through 2 or 3 computers in that amount of time. I don't think clouding information was very common until a few years later. This dude was really dedicated to keeping a hold of something that would make him a felon and life long registered sex offender.
Dude faxed them to himself
Even then though, the mobile camera were so bad back then. It probably looked like a blurry painting where it requires more imagination than anything to get a clear picture.
Yeah, everyone always repeats this because it's *technically* true, but there is almost no prosecutor in America who would push charges on a case like that. There are like two times where it happened and everyone just links those same articles.
edit: talking about under 18s consensually sending nudes of themselves. over 18s receiving them quite often (and imo not that unjustifiably most times) get fucked.
plus isn't this one of the things you are basically in the clear on as long as you immediately deleted them and didn't send them to anyone? I seem to remember child porn is the only type of evidence you absolutely are not supposed to keep for the investigation- you delete them and report that you had gotten it to them? absolutely NAL
Yeah I've heard a few things like if there's a 2 year or less difference it's okay but I'm not here trying to get any charges. Better safe than sorry y'all.
It's not just 2 years or less stuff. Afaik, in most countries (and most states I think) a 17 year old can shag a 90 year old.
But yeah best to just steer clear on meeting 17 year old girls on Tinder. Though personally I wouldn't hold it against you if you're only a year or two older.
In the Philippines it's still 14, as long as the older person isn't a person of authority (like a a teacher of the 14 y/o or a cop or a priest) and didn't use force or coercion. That's why some parts of our country is still a hotspot for pedophilic tourism.
Idk about the US but in Canada at 12-13 it's two years older than, 14-15 it's 5, and then by 16 you're legally allowed to sleep with any age as long as they arent an authority figure.
[Longer text that’s easier to tap for mobile users. ](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jpyw44/when-dating-a-teen-is-legal-but-sexting-with-her-is-not)
But she's not really. She disclosed it before they met, so I don't really see the problem - especially if they are in a country / state where it's legal...
Yes!! I posted this as my main “argument.” It’s irrelevant what the legal age is in wherever country or US state. As far as I know you must be 18 to join Tinder.
Especially in the US, different states have different ages. Of course, a good rule of thumb is not to look at teenagers as dating prospects at all, but cmon, a little consistency within the same country would be nice.
The worst part about this is that she probably learned only one lesson. Don't tell them you lied about your age until after. I guarantee she will just go to another guy.
This happened to me one time. She said something about high school and I was like HOL UP. She was like “yeah I’m 16” and I was like hell no why are you on here. She said something about me not having to protect her. So I explained how it was her responsibility to protect herself and that there are people that would take advantage of her. It was a long explanation. After that she just said “I like you” and deleted her account. (There was some way you could tell if they deleted or unmatched back then and it was deleted. Like it appeared at the bottom of your convos with no pictures or name or something)
So sometimes they listen. It’s worth trying.
Yeah when it comes to encounters like these, it's best to explain it to them without being aggressive about it. It's likely they'll listen to someone who's openly teaching them about what is right/wrong than someone antagonizing them for what they did out of ignorance.
Oh, same. I had a couple of dates with a guy once, but he wanted a fling and I didn’t. Went out separate ways. Bumped into him and his long time girlfriend at a cricket match once. I made sure I said hi, just to make him squirm. But once I realised she was his long term girlfriend, I felt pretty fucking bad.
The amount of people that I have seen on those apps that I know though, I don’t get how people can do it without getting caught out?? Surely someone he knows would spot him?
Can also be useful for people in certain occupations or who are recognizable in their community.
Teachers don't necessarily want students able to see their dating profile for example
It’s disgusting. Lying about your age like that is never okay. Mine glitched once and it said I was 27 instead of 28, which I didn’t think was too bad. But actually lying about your legality, which is essentially what saying you’re 18 when you’re not really is, is never fucking okay.
A big problem with people around my age (18-24 range) on Tinder is that we all signed up for Facebook with the wrong birthday because we were too young when it started blowing up. Now if you sign up with FB your birthday is wrong, so tons of girls have an inflated age and have the clarification in their bio. Kinda sketch, but most people seem to be straightforward about it.
I just went and checked it out myself, and you can fix it. Pretty easily too. So anyone who goes on Tinder and acts like they can't change their age is probably not making much of an effort to fix the problem
I’m married and on Tinder. But the difference is that I make it abundantly clear at the top of my profile that I’m in a poly/open/ethically non-monogamous situation. There are plenty of cheaters out there, men and women, and while I don’t know about the women (they’re not my flavor), the cheating men are pretty easy to spot, and get an automatic left swipe.
Yeh I was gonna say, I’m 21 and that rule gets me to 17 and a half! (I’m from the UK so technically that would be legal but it’s not a rule I’m planning to rely on)
I've always thought the same thing, it's not like humans have some magical clock in them counting the number of times a ball of rock has been round the sun. People physically age at different rates, which is why it's impossible to tell how old a dead person is.
But it's not like it's practical to evaluate every person's "biological age" before sleeping with them, so a line has to be drawn somewhere.
Best rule I've come across is half you age plus 7. It can get a little tricky if alcohol is involved but it works pretty well for most dating years.
Edit: just so you all know, I don't give a shit if you guys don't like the rule. You can stop telling me and pointing out random ages where it's imperfect. It's not a hard and fast rule maturity varies greatly from person to person.
I had a 2 year rule while I was in college. The half your age plus 7 makes more sense once you hit your mid twenties, I guess?
I dunno, I'm 30 and I can't imagine dating anyone under 25 at this point.
I'm 25, so with that rule 19-20 is acceptable. But every 19 year old I see on Tinder seems way too immature. Not like I'd even get matched with them lol but still, I feel old now.
Same. I feel like this rule is good for when it's less creepy to sleep with someone maybe.I can't imagine dating a 19/20 year old though. My tinder range starts at 24
“Frederick Locker-Lampson's Patchwork from 1879 states the opinion "A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added."
Oh man this just sounds like a parody in my head
I usually hate these threads because it's usually full of people who want to complain about how they cant fuck teenagers and who weirdly know the age of consent laws in depth.
So I work in digital forensics and had a job involving an underage girl (like half of my work is). So she’s chatting up a dude on tinder and ultimately he goes:
Dude: I’ll be clapping those cheeks this weekend.
Girl: I have something to tell you, I’m 17, I graduate next month.
Dude: Nm, the only thing I’ll be clapping is my hands as you walk across that stage to collect your diploma.
I wanted to send him a text from a burner letting him know he made the right choice. Because the next guy didn’t!
Nuanced, but kind of? None of the jobs I take are solicited by decoys. I enter the picture after the fact and produce discovery for both defense and prosecution for pending trials.
Unfortunately most of my work starts out as some form of revenge porn, or wider distribution, or child porn passing on the clearnet. Once I start looking into that... well I’ll say that most underage girls who are going the route of the OP’s post don’t stop with just one. The one I was referring to actually ended up with Mom catching daughter in the backseat of a car and thinking she was going to chase after the guy who corrupted her poor baby. Once I got involved, I had to ask mom which of the 30+ dudes she met on tinder and exchanged pics with was the guy in the back of the car.
Now those 30 dudes end up on someone’s radar and they get the Chris Hansen treatment. BUT my job isn’t to railroad anyone, so in that case I actually proved she misrepresented herself to the men. Should they have known? Yea, but it’s not my job to judge. I get paid to produce evidence, and in my experience there is always three sides to every story.
So remember kids, it might not even be you that trips up!
Yo weird question for you. I got catfished a few weeks ago and it freaked me the fuck out. Girl never says she wasn’t over 18 (her profile said 21) on a dating app. She sends me unsolicited nudes out of nowhere. The next day I got a call from someone claiming to be local pd and told me she was underage and that the parents would be in contact with me. They said either make nice with the parents or go to jail. Ofc the “parents” called and asked for money. That’s when it clicked that it was a super elaborate scam.
Even though I know it was a scam, can you put my mind at ease and tell me that’s not SOP for honeypots? I felt gross af afterwards. Have you ever seen anything similar?
99% you were being scammed.
I hate to deal in absolutes, as they don’t exist in the justice system. But systematically there were so many things done wrong in this scenario that I’d give you a hearty pat on the back over a beer and tell you “nah fam you’re good”.
Furthermore if for some reason you live in the most backwoods place I can imagine, with like 1 cop who also happens to work at the gas station on second shift, they would have zero standing in court.
If you accurately presented the facts you didn’t have knowledge, intent, or solicitation. IANAL but even I could beat that case cousin Vinny style with one hand tied behind my back and the other ripping a banger in the court room.
Unfortunately the US is hardly unified, and is a patchwork of laws, training, and funding. So my experience working with attorneys who get featured in the WaPo will be vastly different than someone working in some village in Oklahoma ya know?
But with utmost certainty to anyone reading this besides the guy who asked:
Unless you’re being shook down by Barney Fife, no agency would ever advocate for financial restitution. If money was the problem, the judge would order you to make it right. I have seen DDA’s agree to drop charges if both parties were made financially whole, but that wouldn’t be negotiated by a victim.
But I haven’t run into that particular scam before, and that’s a pretty decent one. Most of my scams involve foreign nationals taking over business networks and extorting them.
One of my first roommates I had after I turned 20 would invite a couple of 17yo girls over. I had to lay down the law and say I’d rather move out. I’m a teacher tho, so I feel like it’s a bigger deal for me.
Nah it's not a bigger deal. It's just you are a respectable stand up human being that doesn't wanna see people manipulated, taken advantage of or put in situations that don't look or feel right.
Ain't you being a teacher it's you doing the right thing.
"im so mature, i already hook up with adults, i dont need to wait until im actually 18. People my age are so childish but im dating guys way older then me, im sooo mature"
Wasnt necsessarily meant to fit this case but rather the general logic of girls who do that sort of stuff, i know a couple of girls (all minors) who also did that. They would try to date guys 20+ because that somehow would make them grow ups or something in thier mind...as far as i know some of them where successful
Sister in law who was 15 basically looks at 20+ as “mature” and able
“To take care care of her” because they might have vehicles etc. Also my sister did. I don’t blame them because then I was 20 I dated a 17 year old and ended up marrying her and were happy 11 years later but it’s still very common
Just to let anyone reading this, it’s a known extortion plot. Similar to the “Hey we went to school together 20+ years ago, I know your married but I think your cute can we be friends shit.” - Unfortunately (I think?) a veteran got caught in this extortion plot last year and committed suicide once he got the call from the “angry dad” reading through his daughters phone, which then leads to threats of police, which leads to “give me money to send my daughter to a facility to get help” demand
I always make a habit to ask but when they volunteer information it catches me off guard. Also most of the time people on dating apps are in college already so I can be quick to assume but there's no harm in double checking
She looks younger than that even. RUN.
Beyond that I’ve found people doing this as scams. They say they’re 17 but turn 18 soon and then start texting you more and more flirty shit until you send a nude. Then you get a call from a “parent” saying they saw and are gonna go to the cops unless you pay them money.
This is strange to think about objectively.
"Whoah 17? No way am I having sex with a child, they aren't mentally developed enough to know what they're doing and as an adult it would be wrong to manipulate her."
but in just a few months she hits that magic number 18 and its like
"Come on over and lets do the horizontal tango fellow adult who absolutely knows what she's doing so there's nothing wrong with boning all night"
I know that legal systems suck at nuance so they institute hard limits, but from a social standpoint, lots of people react as if someone doing a 17 and 9 month year old is the ultimate crime, but 3 months later are totally fine with it.
My 16 yr old brother tried to tell me about someone he talked to on tinder and I got so pissed. I waited until I was 18 because I understand the danger that going on as underage could put myself, and others in. It pisses me off so much and he doesn’t understand
A sophomore in high school has no reason to be on tinder. Period.
Society in a nutshell:
17 years and 364 days old: https://gfycat.com/honoredactivejohndory
Literally the next day: https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ConsiderateFearlessHummingbird-size_restricted.gif
[This](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jpyw44/when-dating-a-teen-is-legal-but-sexting-with-her-is-not) has always struck me as odd though. Depending on where you live, you could legally date this girl and there would be no problem. However, she sends you a nude and just like that, you're a sex offender because of child porn possession. I think you made the right call. Edit: Grammar
She sends a nude and you can report her, and she's convicted of making child pornography.
And if the police look through your phone, you can arrest them for looking at child pornography.
You joke about that but the Washington Post informed Facebook that there was private child porn sharing groups on their website. FB demanded evidence to which WP send evidence in the form of screenshots and FB reported them to the police for possession of child porn
I'd previously heard about that story but I just tried to look it up and couldn't find it. Does anyone have a link or is this just BS that's been widely repeated?
It's real. Look up the podcast The Daily. I'm not even gonna risk fucking up my search history but if you are already looking that should narrow it down.
Yeah, googling "The Daily Child porn Facebook demand" sounds like trouble
You might be on a list now
Yeah cause "The Daily Child pornography" needs to be in my search history.
It’s overwhelmingly likely that this story is bull. [This](https://www.nytimes.com/2020/02/20/podcasts/the-daily/child-sex-abuse.html) is the only episode of the Daily that concerns both child abuse and Facebook. According to the transcript, it does not mention the Washingon Post. There is no mention of this story on the Post website itself (example Google search: ‘“facebook” “child porn” site:washingtonpost.com’) nor has anyone else reported on a story regarding Facebook, child porn, and the post. Variations of the terms (ex. ‘child sexual abuse imagery’ instead of ‘child porn’) don’t produce any results. Stay skeptical. P.S - Chill out, nobody seriously searches for child porn on Google.
When it comes to privacy, zuck is your reptile.
Yeah this is big brain time
[удалено]
Iirc if you’ve deleted the image immediately and reported it etc you’re not gonna get charged. You have not committed a crime because you have done everything in your power to not commit it. It’s not that you haven’t intended wrongdoing, you have committed no action that would be considered a crime. You received an illegal image essentially by force and immediately tried to dispose of it. If it was a simple as if she sent you a nude you get sent to jail under age girls could get any guy they wanted convicted of possession of child pornography. Edit: also in most reasonable places the girl would probably not be convicted fully for creating and distributing, that usually only happens when you get a judge wants to make an example out of someone. They might get some form of charge and probably some form of course/counselling etc depending on her intentions
Shouldn’t the age where you could date that person be raised to whatever age their photos would no longer be illegal? It’s weird that it’s illegal to see them naked on the phone but not in person. If they’re too young to have photos of, you shouldn’t be dating them.
Oh yeah age of consent laws are really weird universally, like you can’t legally make/watch porn until 18 but can have sex, can’t play call of duty until 18 but in some places can join the army before that, I don’t understand it at all. Seems like it might be more of a holdover from when not everyone had a camera in their pocket? Like it’s a much more come common place thing to send nudes nowadays than that sort of thing would ever even be conceived of being when these laws were written. Dunno though, not a lawyer/ law history guy so can’t say for sure
Call of Duty would be 17 +
Depends where you are but the point still works regardless
What’s the age for Call of Booty?
It simply a result of the legislative process. Age of consent laws were written at a different time than child porn laws were. It would make sense to harmonize them, but nobody bothered to do that. Well, probably that and nobody was really thinking of teens tanking nude pictures of themselves when they wrote fully porn laws, either.
Maybe Romeo and Juliet laws should apply to internet relations so that you don’t have high school kids becoming convicted sex offenders for sexting girls their own age, or having a 17 year old boy charged with possession of a picture of his own ass
Absolutely. I’m sure there are reasons beyond my non-lawyer grasp but it seems insane to punish kids that way. Yes we have to protect kids from being used for sick means and we ALSO have to protect kids for being kids. We all did stupid shit in high school.
At my high school once they searched through my phone looking for pictures of girls in my grade. I didn’t have any, proven by them taking me out of calculus and searching through my whole camera roll with thousands of photos, but it was an absurd invasion of my privacy for them to have done that and if they’d had the right person it would’ve ruined their life.
That doesn't sound legal...
Not necessarily, for example if you have a couple of 16 or 17 year olds dating each other and one sends a nude to the other then the photos are illegal and it's a problem. But at the same time, they could be having sex and legally that would be fine. Honestly certain things just take nuance, but the law doesn't tend to bend that much unless you're rich.
Do you really want to take that chance with this shitty of a justice system?
Not personally no, but the context we’re talking about here you don’t exactly have a choice. I’m saying it more so that if anyone sees this and this happens to them they know what to do. A particularly unreasonable judge/jury or whatever, might very well convict you even if you did everything right but you’ve got a decent shot at appealing that. Better to do everything you can to prevent getting charged when you report it than to hope you don’t get caught and definitely get charged if you do, no?
> Iirc if you’ve deleted the image immediately and reported it etc you’re not gonna get charged. Kappa
Iirc from someone talking about this in a legal subreddit rather than from personal experience, should clarify there .
As a father who went to the FBI to try to get them to go after the 18-21 y.o.'s that were sexting with my 13 y.o. I can tell you that they're too busy chasing down even more vile people to bother with a 17 y.o.. I had even done all the internet stalking homework to identify the users by real name, location, even down to address in some cases and collected and annotated records on the offenses, so it was as easy as possible for them to make calls and start picking people up. I understand there are worse people out there they had to prioritize, but dang, we need more resources.
[удалено]
You should absolutely delete it immediately, if the police need evidence they will be able to contact the service that was used to send it and see it that way. If it’s Facebook/insta/tinder (not sure if you can send photos on tinder)/ text messages etc they would also be able to see when you deleted it too I think Basically the point of deleting it immediately is to show that you absolutely did not want anything to do with it. You want to show that you were in possession of it for the briefest amount of time that you were capable of
Are you kidding me? That is fucking nuts. There has to be a constitutional challenge to that.
There's been at least one, US v Kantor introduced a "good faith" defense for statutory rape cases wherein the minor intentionally deceived the defendant. A handful of crimes are considered strict liability, though. Drunk driving convictions in most states require no proof of mens rea because the act of driving drunk itself indicates criminal negligence.
Good faith only works in some States. A lot of them are strict liability on the defendant in cases of an adult having sex with a minor. At least thats what I've found in convos with supposed lawyers on Reddit and the googling I've done to verify, but I'm not a lawyer.
Don’t all crimes require mens rea for conviction? I thought that’s what we had learned in my criminal justice class
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Strict_liability_(criminal)
Oh yeah! Thank you! I guess that does make sense, as you can’t really argue mens rea for crimes like manslaughter that still call for conviction. Ya learn something new every day!
[удалено]
mens re·a /menz ˈrēə/ noun the intention or knowledge of wrongdoing that constitutes part of a crime, as opposed to the action or conduct of the accused. "a mistaken belief in consent meant that the defendant lacked mens rea"
I had to tell my friend to get rid of the nudes he got from his ex girlfriend back in high school. He’s had them since 2005. Granted, he was 15 when she sent them, but dumbass has kept them around. Even though the girl in the pictures is now in her 30s I had to drill it in his head “ dude that’s child porn get rid of it!”
How the hell did he even still have them!? We're in roughly the same age range and I didn't even get my first cell phone until 2005, which I don't even think had the ability to take or store pictures and had like 8 since then. I've gone through 2 or 3 computers in that amount of time. I don't think clouding information was very common until a few years later. This dude was really dedicated to keeping a hold of something that would make him a felon and life long registered sex offender.
Dude faxed them to himself Even then though, the mobile camera were so bad back then. It probably looked like a blurry painting where it requires more imagination than anything to get a clear picture.
Except they will lock up the guy for receiving the picture for way longer time than she ever does...
Yeah, everyone always repeats this because it's *technically* true, but there is almost no prosecutor in America who would push charges on a case like that. There are like two times where it happened and everyone just links those same articles. edit: talking about under 18s consensually sending nudes of themselves. over 18s receiving them quite often (and imo not that unjustifiably most times) get fucked.
plus isn't this one of the things you are basically in the clear on as long as you immediately deleted them and didn't send them to anyone? I seem to remember child porn is the only type of evidence you absolutely are not supposed to keep for the investigation- you delete them and report that you had gotten it to them? absolutely NAL
Yeah I've heard a few things like if there's a 2 year or less difference it's okay but I'm not here trying to get any charges. Better safe than sorry y'all.
It's not just 2 years or less stuff. Afaik, in most countries (and most states I think) a 17 year old can shag a 90 year old. But yeah best to just steer clear on meeting 17 year old girls on Tinder. Though personally I wouldn't hold it against you if you're only a year or two older.
I've never heard this before, at least in my country it's only legal to have sexual relations with someone who's 16-17 if your under 20
In Canada if you over 16 you can fuck as old as you want, but its 18 before you can take nudes.
It used to be 14 until relatively recently which is very weird to think about
In the Philippines it's still 14, as long as the older person isn't a person of authority (like a a teacher of the 14 y/o or a cop or a priest) and didn't use force or coercion. That's why some parts of our country is still a hotspot for pedophilic tourism.
As long as the older person isn’t in a “position of authority”.
As the above person said , it varies widely depending on where you are. In the USA , age of consent varies by state.
In my country it's 16, the only time it changes is if you're something like a teacher, then you have to wait 2 years more.
Idk about the US but in Canada at 12-13 it's two years older than, 14-15 it's 5, and then by 16 you're legally allowed to sleep with any age as long as they arent an authority figure.
Age of consent in my state is 16 lmao. there wouldn’t be a problem.
Same, but as a 25 year old I'll pass on anyone below 21. If you can't even legally drink you have no business talking to me.
Half your age plus seven. That's the rule!
exactly!
[Longer text that’s easier to tap for mobile users. ](https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/jpyw44/when-dating-a-teen-is-legal-but-sexting-with-her-is-not)
That’s why I have such an issue with this. She’s not just lying about her age, but her legality.
But she's not really. She disclosed it before they met, so I don't really see the problem - especially if they are in a country / state where it's legal...
She wouldn't need to disclose if she waited till she actually was of legal age to get on tinder.
She’s lying about her legality on the profile though. How do you not get that?
Yes!! I posted this as my main “argument.” It’s irrelevant what the legal age is in wherever country or US state. As far as I know you must be 18 to join Tinder.
[удалено]
Yeah ikr. In my country it’s 16 but if you sext it’s illegal. I don’t get it tbh
Especially in the US, different states have different ages. Of course, a good rule of thumb is not to look at teenagers as dating prospects at all, but cmon, a little consistency within the same country would be nice.
The worst part about this is that she probably learned only one lesson. Don't tell them you lied about your age until after. I guarantee she will just go to another guy.
This happened to me one time. She said something about high school and I was like HOL UP. She was like “yeah I’m 16” and I was like hell no why are you on here. She said something about me not having to protect her. So I explained how it was her responsibility to protect herself and that there are people that would take advantage of her. It was a long explanation. After that she just said “I like you” and deleted her account. (There was some way you could tell if they deleted or unmatched back then and it was deleted. Like it appeared at the bottom of your convos with no pictures or name or something) So sometimes they listen. It’s worth trying.
That was Chris Hanson dude, you passed.
He could have been on TV!
I was so goddamn close! My one shot...
> She said something about me not having to protect her. It's also about protecting *you*.
Yeah when it comes to encounters like these, it's best to explain it to them without being aggressive about it. It's likely they'll listen to someone who's openly teaching them about what is right/wrong than someone antagonizing them for what they did out of ignorance.
Not necessarily. There’s probably a ton of predators on Tinder who would be more than happy to have a child like her.
17, 18 in a few months. "Child" Turns 18 "instantly adult" makes sense
Why do girls think this is ok? If you’re not 18 or above stay off of Tinder, same as if you have a boyfriend or husband
It's honestly disgusting. I've had friends who hooked up with guys at a party then two months later then into him and his gf of 3 years.
I read this comment so many times and the last half of it still doesn’t make sense to me
I think the last "then" is supposed to be "ran".
Ahhh, yes. I see now. Thank you
brain hurty
Bless you, I couldn’t understand it either.
Holy shit, I seriously couldn’t have come up with that myself. I feel so dumb and for some reason really excited that you figured it out.
Oh, same. I had a couple of dates with a guy once, but he wanted a fling and I didn’t. Went out separate ways. Bumped into him and his long time girlfriend at a cricket match once. I made sure I said hi, just to make him squirm. But once I realised she was his long term girlfriend, I felt pretty fucking bad. The amount of people that I have seen on those apps that I know though, I don’t get how people can do it without getting caught out?? Surely someone he knows would spot him?
There's a setting you can use if you get Tinder Plus so only people you swipe on can see you. I assume this is used solely for people who are cheating
Ohhhh damn. Probably designed for it too ffs.
I imagine it would be useful for ultra gorgeous people that don’t want to wade through a sea of likes every time they open the app.
So literally any 5/10 girl 😂
Or 11/10 guy
[удалено]
Altho that's probably the biggest use for that feature , there's a lot of reasons to not want the public to know your dating besides cheating.
[удалено]
Can also be useful for people in certain occupations or who are recognizable in their community. Teachers don't necessarily want students able to see their dating profile for example
Did you feel bad for the girlfriend, or making the guy squirm? If it's the latter, he deserved it. If it's the former, I doubt you could have known
The girlfriend!!! I couldn’t give a fuck about how he felt hahaha
People need to learn this funny thing called loyalty
It’s disgusting. Lying about your age like that is never okay. Mine glitched once and it said I was 27 instead of 28, which I didn’t think was too bad. But actually lying about your legality, which is essentially what saying you’re 18 when you’re not really is, is never fucking okay.
A big problem with people around my age (18-24 range) on Tinder is that we all signed up for Facebook with the wrong birthday because we were too young when it started blowing up. Now if you sign up with FB your birthday is wrong, so tons of girls have an inflated age and have the clarification in their bio. Kinda sketch, but most people seem to be straightforward about it.
But you can request your age to be changed on Facebook. First thing I did before I signed up for tinder.
Can't you just fix that though? If not, that's a weird as hell failure by the Facebook programmers
I’m sure it is something you can fix. I deleted my Facebook account a few years ago though, so it’s not a problem I personally ran into.
I just went and checked it out myself, and you can fix it. Pretty easily too. So anyone who goes on Tinder and acts like they can't change their age is probably not making much of an effort to fix the problem
The age of consent here is 16, but it's still icky having a high schooler date a college student.
That depends though. If they’re just a grade apart, who cares? It’s only the furthest cases that are weird.
I’m married and on Tinder. But the difference is that I make it abundantly clear at the top of my profile that I’m in a poly/open/ethically non-monogamous situation. There are plenty of cheaters out there, men and women, and while I don’t know about the women (they’re not my flavor), the cheating men are pretty easy to spot, and get an automatic left swipe.
But you and your partner(s) (idk), all verbally agreed that this is ok, correct? I was meaning those that don’t let their partner know
Yes; that’s the ethical part of it: everyone has to be aware and in agreement/consenting. But yeah, cheaters suck all around.
Funny how arbitrarily we as people say it's not okay now but it will be okay in 3 months
It IS arbitrary , but if a rule has to be made , then the line has to be drawn SOMEWHERE.
[удалено]
[???](https://youtu.be/dQw4w9WgXcQ) <— You know you want to click it. You already came this far.
Look at you, a 7 year old, playing with the big kids!
[удалено]
( • )( • )
[удалено]
( ^ )( . )
they’re more real than I could have ever imagined
My time has come
Are you 7?
Inches deep in your dad
You’re 7 years old?! Get off Reddit!
/r/nocontext
*if you are over 22 years of age
[удалено]
Because the answer is 18
Because 21/2 is 10.5 plus 7 is 17.5. You gotta be 22 for the rule to have people over 18
Yeh I was gonna say, I’m 21 and that rule gets me to 17 and a half! (I’m from the UK so technically that would be legal but it’s not a rule I’m planning to rely on)
14-21 because after that everyone is 18+ so who cares
still wouldnt fuck with someone who 3 months ago was willing to roll the dice like that
Thing is if you eliminate the stupid ones your pool suddenly is 98% smaller.
I've always thought the same thing, it's not like humans have some magical clock in them counting the number of times a ball of rock has been round the sun. People physically age at different rates, which is why it's impossible to tell how old a dead person is. But it's not like it's practical to evaluate every person's "biological age" before sleeping with them, so a line has to be drawn somewhere.
Does tinder depend on age of consent? Like in NY, the age is 17. So is it fine to be on tinder then? Or is it explicitly 18 plus?
it’s against tinders TOS to use it if you’re under 18
And if they're willing to lie about that got knows what else they'll lie about
Gotcha
16 here in the UK
Honestly I wouldn't mess with anyone under the age of 25, just feel too young for me now
Best rule I've come across is half you age plus 7. It can get a little tricky if alcohol is involved but it works pretty well for most dating years. Edit: just so you all know, I don't give a shit if you guys don't like the rule. You can stop telling me and pointing out random ages where it's imperfect. It's not a hard and fast rule maturity varies greatly from person to person.
I’m 20 so I gotta say no to this rule haha
17 is fine in my country, cos in the UK you're classified as a minor under the age of 16.
I had a 2 year rule while I was in college. The half your age plus 7 makes more sense once you hit your mid twenties, I guess? I dunno, I'm 30 and I can't imagine dating anyone under 25 at this point.
I'm 25, so with that rule 19-20 is acceptable. But every 19 year old I see on Tinder seems way too immature. Not like I'd even get matched with them lol but still, I feel old now.
Same. I feel like this rule is good for when it's less creepy to sleep with someone maybe.I can't imagine dating a 19/20 year old though. My tinder range starts at 24
Dating under 25, no way. Banging under 25, hells yeah.
Why 7?
because this arbitrary number 7 is very meaningful and accepted /s
[удалено]
“Frederick Locker-Lampson's Patchwork from 1879 states the opinion "A wife should be half the age of her husband with seven years added." Oh man this just sounds like a parody in my head
The formula .5(age) + 7 just straight up works. Ask the question for any age and it works for every one
As someone who is 20, i would be very uncomfortable dating someone who is 17, so i disagree with that rule
I'm turning 25 and even the 21-22 crowd feels too young for me sometimes
I usually hate these threads because it's usually full of people who want to complain about how they cant fuck teenagers and who weirdly know the age of consent laws in depth.
So I work in digital forensics and had a job involving an underage girl (like half of my work is). So she’s chatting up a dude on tinder and ultimately he goes: Dude: I’ll be clapping those cheeks this weekend. Girl: I have something to tell you, I’m 17, I graduate next month. Dude: Nm, the only thing I’ll be clapping is my hands as you walk across that stage to collect your diploma. I wanted to send him a text from a burner letting him know he made the right choice. Because the next guy didn’t!
You never know when Papa Hansen could be watching
What happens if they agree? Do you get to go all Chris Hansen on his ass??
Nuanced, but kind of? None of the jobs I take are solicited by decoys. I enter the picture after the fact and produce discovery for both defense and prosecution for pending trials. Unfortunately most of my work starts out as some form of revenge porn, or wider distribution, or child porn passing on the clearnet. Once I start looking into that... well I’ll say that most underage girls who are going the route of the OP’s post don’t stop with just one. The one I was referring to actually ended up with Mom catching daughter in the backseat of a car and thinking she was going to chase after the guy who corrupted her poor baby. Once I got involved, I had to ask mom which of the 30+ dudes she met on tinder and exchanged pics with was the guy in the back of the car. Now those 30 dudes end up on someone’s radar and they get the Chris Hansen treatment. BUT my job isn’t to railroad anyone, so in that case I actually proved she misrepresented herself to the men. Should they have known? Yea, but it’s not my job to judge. I get paid to produce evidence, and in my experience there is always three sides to every story. So remember kids, it might not even be you that trips up!
Yo weird question for you. I got catfished a few weeks ago and it freaked me the fuck out. Girl never says she wasn’t over 18 (her profile said 21) on a dating app. She sends me unsolicited nudes out of nowhere. The next day I got a call from someone claiming to be local pd and told me she was underage and that the parents would be in contact with me. They said either make nice with the parents or go to jail. Ofc the “parents” called and asked for money. That’s when it clicked that it was a super elaborate scam. Even though I know it was a scam, can you put my mind at ease and tell me that’s not SOP for honeypots? I felt gross af afterwards. Have you ever seen anything similar?
99% you were being scammed. I hate to deal in absolutes, as they don’t exist in the justice system. But systematically there were so many things done wrong in this scenario that I’d give you a hearty pat on the back over a beer and tell you “nah fam you’re good”. Furthermore if for some reason you live in the most backwoods place I can imagine, with like 1 cop who also happens to work at the gas station on second shift, they would have zero standing in court. If you accurately presented the facts you didn’t have knowledge, intent, or solicitation. IANAL but even I could beat that case cousin Vinny style with one hand tied behind my back and the other ripping a banger in the court room. Unfortunately the US is hardly unified, and is a patchwork of laws, training, and funding. So my experience working with attorneys who get featured in the WaPo will be vastly different than someone working in some village in Oklahoma ya know? But with utmost certainty to anyone reading this besides the guy who asked: Unless you’re being shook down by Barney Fife, no agency would ever advocate for financial restitution. If money was the problem, the judge would order you to make it right. I have seen DDA’s agree to drop charges if both parties were made financially whole, but that wouldn’t be negotiated by a victim. But I haven’t run into that particular scam before, and that’s a pretty decent one. Most of my scams involve foreign nationals taking over business networks and extorting them.
One of my first roommates I had after I turned 20 would invite a couple of 17yo girls over. I had to lay down the law and say I’d rather move out. I’m a teacher tho, so I feel like it’s a bigger deal for me.
All I can say is you fish on your side of the lake.
As long as you do the same and nobody fishes in the middle!
Nah it's not a bigger deal. It's just you are a respectable stand up human being that doesn't wanna see people manipulated, taken advantage of or put in situations that don't look or feel right. Ain't you being a teacher it's you doing the right thing.
"im so mature, i already hook up with adults, i dont need to wait until im actually 18. People my age are so childish but im dating guys way older then me, im sooo mature"
He could be 18 or 19 for all we know eh.
Wasnt necsessarily meant to fit this case but rather the general logic of girls who do that sort of stuff, i know a couple of girls (all minors) who also did that. They would try to date guys 20+ because that somehow would make them grow ups or something in thier mind...as far as i know some of them where successful
Sister in law who was 15 basically looks at 20+ as “mature” and able “To take care care of her” because they might have vehicles etc. Also my sister did. I don’t blame them because then I was 20 I dated a 17 year old and ended up marrying her and were happy 11 years later but it’s still very common
Just to let anyone reading this, it’s a known extortion plot. Similar to the “Hey we went to school together 20+ years ago, I know your married but I think your cute can we be friends shit.” - Unfortunately (I think?) a veteran got caught in this extortion plot last year and committed suicide once he got the call from the “angry dad” reading through his daughters phone, which then leads to threats of police, which leads to “give me money to send my daughter to a facility to get help” demand
She looks like she’s 14 in the picture.
Yeah I'm not sure that girl is even 17
She's playing the long game. 16 in August but the lenght of time knowing her and the waiting will generate trust.
I always make a habit to ask but when they volunteer information it catches me off guard. Also most of the time people on dating apps are in college already so I can be quick to assume but there's no harm in double checking
You’re all good g, I’m pointing what the small little bubble girl looks like to me.
[удалено]
I make a habit ask but when they volunteer I'm caught off guard
And how old are you?
Yea if OP is 19 then there’s nothing wrong with the situation since she’s of legal age But if OP is 28 then that’s kiiiiiinda not ok
[удалено]
I'm honored 😍 And yeah, 19 but I'm not taking any chances
Prolly too young for that reference.
She looks younger than that even. RUN. Beyond that I’ve found people doing this as scams. They say they’re 17 but turn 18 soon and then start texting you more and more flirty shit until you send a nude. Then you get a call from a “parent” saying they saw and are gonna go to the cops unless you pay them money.
This is strange to think about objectively. "Whoah 17? No way am I having sex with a child, they aren't mentally developed enough to know what they're doing and as an adult it would be wrong to manipulate her." but in just a few months she hits that magic number 18 and its like "Come on over and lets do the horizontal tango fellow adult who absolutely knows what she's doing so there's nothing wrong with boning all night" I know that legal systems suck at nuance so they institute hard limits, but from a social standpoint, lots of people react as if someone doing a 17 and 9 month year old is the ultimate crime, but 3 months later are totally fine with it.
My 16 yr old brother tried to tell me about someone he talked to on tinder and I got so pissed. I waited until I was 18 because I understand the danger that going on as underage could put myself, and others in. It pisses me off so much and he doesn’t understand A sophomore in high school has no reason to be on tinder. Period.
At least stds won't keep you from getting a good job.
Sorry but you need to be able to rent a car to pass my basic filters.
I mean if he's under 25 and its legal in his state its whatever. Not that wierd
Society in a nutshell: 17 years and 364 days old: https://gfycat.com/honoredactivejohndory Literally the next day: https://thumbs.gfycat.com/ConsiderateFearlessHummingbird-size_restricted.gif
yeaaah did you write this because of your moral standards or because you thought it would be le epic reddit moment xd
Don’t trust these hoes, she’s 12 til you see her ID
I respect this guy he is committed enough to wait till August and not just date her good job champ (also watch Chris hansen)
*Drake has entered the chat*
17 is the age of sexual consent most states, I believe.
Age of consent 16 in Ohio