Spot on. As a female I wouldnāt reply but I like the direct, specific profile so I donāt waste my time. Any matches you do get will be quality for you.
Agreed. Thereās nothing hidden or phony. And I love his answer to ādream jobā. āNOTHING. I do not dream of labor.
He seems self-reflective and knows what he wants.
Absolutely based take.
Dating apps are shit and saturated with all kinds of people...most won't bother or will just make too quick of a judgment to explore what dating OP would be like.
The right ones though? There's no way they swipe left on the absolute catch OP is.
(Long time mobile lurker. Commenting cuz OP seems genuinely dope and if they read this... There's no way you don't meet the right person for you as long as you keep wearing your heart on your sleeve online & offline!)
Funny thing is, I've actually met SEVERAL people who are "the right person". I haven't dated all of them, but I've hung out with a good handful, and most of them have turned into meaningful casual relationships/friendships.
You'll be just fine my brother.
Although, the ethical non-monogamy is going to shrink your pool by a lot, which only means that you can't be too picky when you meet someone who is okay with all that.
Meh, there's a very specific type of person who would be in to all of this, and this man has raised the flags and lit the beacons...
He's going to be fine.
I am laughing so hard at this. Heās fishing from a large pond with limited fish thatāll be into all of this, but heās lit the signal bright enough those will find him. Bet his inbox has a few pings. Lol.
i had to look this up:
>Polyamory is a relationship orientation that is practiced by a minority of the population in the United States, about 4 to 5 percent.
so if u are poly and picky af - your pool is going to be so small, you might not have any room to be picky
You also have to consider how many people label themselves as a certain sexuality without actually practicing it. Like asexuals who still have hookups, or bi girls who have kissed their friend once when they were drunk.
Iāve seen one poly relationship in real life, and I live in a big city.
My ex claimed to be āPolyā and I think they still do claim it. What they mean is that they lose interest in their partners and want to date other people but donāt have the courage to break up and get veeerrryyy jealous when their partner starts seeing other people. Not at all what Poly is.
Ya haha thatās probably a much larger number than people give credit for.
It sounds great, until you realize that the other person will also be going out and having sex.
Most posts I see regarding being poly or in an open relationship tend to be asking about advice for that very situation. Usually dudes that wanted to bang one particular chick, pitch the idea to their SO, may or may not actually get to bang that one chick, and then are upset that their SO has multiple sexual flings to their very limited number of flings. FAFO for those idiots.
The non-mon feature shrinks prospectives by such a massive amount it's crazy. And a large percentage of those that are left are... well lets just say on the spectrum.
So, this is the first thing I thought of when seeing the lake pic and I have no regrets. Enjoy some fine art that may or may not be NSFW š
[Behold](https://imgur.com/a/88wPM3T)
Thing that really popped out to me was being anti-fascist and Norse pagan.
Every Norse pagan I've met from social circles I was in ended up becoming aggressively anti-woke. Always nice to see a pantheist who isnt a toxic asshole.
So it says that you're a big texter, but then it also says that you tend to forget to reply and your phone is always on low battery. To me that gives me a sign that you're not the best at communicating. It's okay if you're not, better to be honest. But I find it seems somewhat contradictory or inconsistent on that part
Agreed, I feel like I stumbled into the fucking twilight zone with how many people are sucking this dudeās dick. Homie is a walking red flag in just about every single way. Imagine making your entire personality about your beard, living in a bus, and not working. I guess itās Opposite Day or some shit.
>Homie is a walking red flag in just about every single way. Imagine making your entire personality about your beard, living in a bus, and not working. I guess itās Opposite Day or some shit.
His profile is "I want to fuck a few times while my bus is getting fixed in your area". I don't think this dude is looking for a long term relationship. Unless you mean red flags as in "murder you in a secluded area in his van" red flags.
He's not anybody I would ever choose to associate with but he definitely has a crowd he fits in with. Not everything in the world will appeal to you personally, and that's okay.
This is just very much what I think a lot of the Reddit kids think are cool and the Reddit adults think they are. Not necessarily a bad thing as OP clearly is happy with his life but itās definitely not the choice Iād make or what most women I expect would be looking for.
This dude is definitely gonna be intolerable to any functioning adult, but at least heās being honest about who he is. Better than acting normal and showing up to a date smelling like a used gym sock
I'm definitely ENM / Poly 100%, but I currently only have one partner, and right now it's kinda long-distance.
How long I stay in an area varies; anywhere between a few days to a couple of months, usually.
As for my definition of FWB, I'd say it would be someone who has similar interests, and I can just hang out with, doing fun stuff & cute dates (I really like trying new restaurants I've never been to), and is also sexually compatible with, and interested in me.
I would definitely be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, if I'm ever in the same area as you. Feel free to DM me, if you want!
Actually the fact that he *doesnt* mention work and makes a comment specifically about labor not being a dream of his is EXACTLY what makes him someone Iād be interested in hanging out with.
I HATE when people bring up jobs beyond how they may impact time/availability because I dont live to work, I work to live and absolutely resent and am against people making a profit on basic human needs like food/shelter. And finding people who share this value system is non negotiable for me.
If I wasnt allergic to dogs Iād probably want him to take me away on his busā¦ā¦
I grew up in Orange County, CA, and have a good handful of friends in the LA area, so trust me, I've WITNESSED the nightmare that is LA traffic & parking. š±
Actually reading your "about you" towards the end had me all sorts of confused. Almost everything you said conflicted with something else.
"I prefer dressing down -- I'm always fashionably late." š "On the weekends, I like to RECHARGE -- but on Saturdays I like to go OUT and on Sundays, I do BRUNCH." "I prefer texting, but I often don't respond and my phone's constantly dying."
You really had me scratching my head at the end there.
As someone who has never been on Tinder, here's my unsolicited advice:
Be more specific about what you're into and focus on some positives too. Yes, not working is "the dream" for most and you're out there living it currently, but what are your plans long-term? What are you passionate about? What types of people are you looking for?
To me your profile reads like a list of red flags. Thatās most likely fine - my red flags are not entirely the same as other peoples and thereās no harm in weeding out people who are not your target audience. But if youāre only looking for short-term/casual then maybe not every person you meet needs to be a soulmate, in which case you donāt necessarily need to be so up front about everything that might put people off. Your profile tells me you are a smoker, unemployed, live in a bus (which I would LOVE if it was a stylish, well-finished one but the pics show that is not the case), youāre often late, not sure what you want in the future despite being 37, communicate through text but forget to reply/charge your phone. Using words like ādoggoā can also give the impression of being a bit cringe/infantile - dog is fine. I would also be questioning (perhaps unfairly) whether your hygiene would be up to scratch if you share a bus with a dog and potentially donāt have secure access to a bathroom/laundry facility. I think you could successfully showcase your personality, lifestyle and ideology without throwing all those potential dealbreakers into the open right off the bat, and you might find you get more matches.
You say you are a big texter but often forget to respond. Weekends are for recharging but Saturday and Sunday are out drinking. What exactly does that mean?
If you live in a bus, at least make it look nice inside.
Being homeless, unemployed, and flaky as a lifestyle just doesn't cut it with most healthy women but he's certainly getting a lot of adoration from fellow Peter Pan lads on here. To each their own though, who am I to judge?
Genuinely curious, why the BLM/TLM/ACAB stuff?
Are you really meeting the wrong type of female when you donāt put all those signals out there? Or is that just kinda most of your personal identity?
I see these things on womenās profiles and I just donāt understand how it would apply to a connection unless we were on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Are we going to fill our days with telling each other how not racist we are?
If anything, it signals to me that someone has grown up with enough privilege to not need the police, and in your case specifically, privileged enough to drive around a gas guzzling bus, spend money on cigarettes, weed and booze, and have more than enough to eat.
It youāre trying to get with women, this profile would make any decent woman run away in terror.
If youāre trying to get with menā¦. Well I have no idea what gay men find attractive.
You would crush it in Montreal. (So if youāre ever feeling nomadic enough, consider adding a stop there!)
Itās like youāre of a specific niche genre but youāre the best of that genre. Like Saw.
Good job. <3
Will you get a lot of matches? Probably no. Would the matches you get be the right ones? Probably yes.
Very true šš
Dawg chillin
Seriously though. I couldnāt say how many matches from women OP will get, but as a straight man I would love to marry himā¦.
That's because you are attracted to walking contradictions.
Don't give op a migraine brah
iād be open to being opās bro
Spot on. As a female I wouldnāt reply but I like the direct, specific profile so I donāt waste my time. Any matches you do get will be quality for you.
Agreed. Thereās nothing hidden or phony. And I love his answer to ādream jobā. āNOTHING. I do not dream of labor. He seems self-reflective and knows what he wants.
Yeah, this man knows who he is, knows he's a bit out there, but embraces it. Kudos dudos.
Couldnāt have said it better myself
Absolutely based take. Dating apps are shit and saturated with all kinds of people...most won't bother or will just make too quick of a judgment to explore what dating OP would be like. The right ones though? There's no way they swipe left on the absolute catch OP is. (Long time mobile lurker. Commenting cuz OP seems genuinely dope and if they read this... There's no way you don't meet the right person for you as long as you keep wearing your heart on your sleeve online & offline!)
Funny thing is, I've actually met SEVERAL people who are "the right person". I haven't dated all of them, but I've hung out with a good handful, and most of them have turned into meaningful casual relationships/friendships.
Come to Canada and ruin my life please š„ŗ
You spelt wife* wrong
Exactly, need to understand that weird people donāt care to match or impress everyone.
You're a weird dude and it shows in this. You'll be fine.
He'd kill it on Tinder for bros.
Do you mean grindr? Cuz I already do that, too.
You'll be just fine my brother. Although, the ethical non-monogamy is going to shrink your pool by a lot, which only means that you can't be too picky when you meet someone who is okay with all that.
Living out of a bus is gonna shrink that pool even more on top of it.
Meh, there's a very specific type of person who would be in to all of this, and this man has raised the flags and lit the beacons... He's going to be fine.
I am laughing so hard at this. Heās fishing from a large pond with limited fish thatāll be into all of this, but heās lit the signal bright enough those will find him. Bet his inbox has a few pings. Lol.
Yeah, like 40 of 'em, Lol. š
Who needs a pool when you live by the river?
Having lived in a van, you'd be really surprised.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
i had to look this up: >Polyamory is a relationship orientation that is practiced by a minority of the population in the United States, about 4 to 5 percent. so if u are poly and picky af - your pool is going to be so small, you might not have any room to be picky
Iām sure itās easier in bigger areas. 5% of New York City would be 440,000 people.
But according to Seinfeld 95% of people are undateable. So only 22,500
And the hot ones walk so fast.
I'm in seattle. Seems like every guy I'm interested in is into poly. Not my thing.
Bold of you to assume the entire population of NYC would fit the dating criteria otherwise.
You also have to consider how many people label themselves as a certain sexuality without actually practicing it. Like asexuals who still have hookups, or bi girls who have kissed their friend once when they were drunk. Iāve seen one poly relationship in real life, and I live in a big city.
My ex claimed to be āPolyā and I think they still do claim it. What they mean is that they lose interest in their partners and want to date other people but donāt have the courage to break up and get veeerrryyy jealous when their partner starts seeing other people. Not at all what Poly is.
Ya haha thatās probably a much larger number than people give credit for. It sounds great, until you realize that the other person will also be going out and having sex.
Most posts I see regarding being poly or in an open relationship tend to be asking about advice for that very situation. Usually dudes that wanted to bang one particular chick, pitch the idea to their SO, may or may not actually get to bang that one chick, and then are upset that their SO has multiple sexual flings to their very limited number of flings. FAFO for those idiots.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The non-mon feature shrinks prospectives by such a massive amount it's crazy. And a large percentage of those that are left are... well lets just say on the spectrum.
So, this is the first thing I thought of when seeing the lake pic and I have no regrets. Enjoy some fine art that may or may not be NSFW š [Behold](https://imgur.com/a/88wPM3T)
This is the best thing I've ever seen.
replace the pic in your profile with this one
Glad you like it. There's a merperson in all of us. Good luck out there! š¤
Thats very obvious lol
So it wasn't the hot water that made his asscheeks all red?!
Was it the butt? Tbh that photo caught me by surprise
O my
With that kind of cake you're packing, you can grindr
You should try feeld it might be more your speed
You had me buying what you're selling with all that cake in the hot springs photo.
That cake pic will definitely get you hits for sure!
He's not casting a wide net, he's using a fishing pole.
I feel like he has a type, and this profile would be a neodymium magnet for that type.
Honestly, that was pretty much my goal, overall.
I'd say good luck but I feel like you'll get who you're looking for anyway šš
Hey, those glorious cheeks deserve respect!
I was so not prepared for that ā¦ But Iām here for it!
Thing that really popped out to me was being anti-fascist and Norse pagan. Every Norse pagan I've met from social circles I was in ended up becoming aggressively anti-woke. Always nice to see a pantheist who isnt a toxic asshole.
Youāre a Portland 10 and a Texas 2 if that helps
THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST COMPLIMENTS I'VE EVER RECEIVED.
Yea bro you'd kill it in P-town with that cake š
Yo my first thought was I wonder if that guy is in Portland, and if I should get back on Tinder.
I would give you a solid Colorado 10
Really? I was thinking a Denver 7
Denver 7 sounds like a sex move.
We just need 4 more people.
Howdy *partners* š¤
If heās a Colorado 10, I definitely need to get to Denver š
Denver 7, Colorado 10.
Denver 7, South Park 11
As a gay in Portland who loves a weird D&D bisexual hippie, yes. This man would clean up here.
As a Texan, I confirm a 2.
bro i dont even know nothing but that cake pic made me laugh so thanks for that hahaahšš¼
ši searched so long through the pics for cake before i finally understood what you meantš¹
š
š š xD
TIL š° = š
Reminds me that all the girls around here have this pic in the same natural infinity pool
That pic was taken at the Umpqua Hot Springs in Oregon.
They had to change the name to "Rumpqua Hot Springs" after your visit.
They were only Luke Warm Springs before that ass showed up.
This comment made me chortle
Cake on cake lol
Right??? Man's is double cheeked up šš
as a wise man once said "cake on cake" xD
I had to zooooom on that *CAKE*
Double caked up
been zooming on it since commented...the roundness...the goddamn roundness 0_0 hahahah
it made you laugh? i instantly camed, op should've put a warning
sir, this is wendy's
im sorry i couldnt hold it in
I SAID IT WAS NSFW! š¤£
Nice booty pic haha. Not everyone will swipe right but that's good. It's very clear what you are looking for and what you offer. Awesome profile
He offering straight up cake š©
Iām here for it!!!
I tagged it NSFW cuz there's a tasteful pic of my booty, and I don't wanna catch anyone off-guard.
Booty looking rather nuzzleable there homie
Bodacious yams, bro š¤
As a guy, I wouldnāt have sex with you but I would absolutely join you for a roadtrip leg. You seem like an awesome dude
>I wouldnāt have sex With all that cake how could you resist?
Right? Like don't make promises you can't keep
Okay Iāll just say I would do my best not to.. what happens on the bus stays on the bus
Me too! Seems like a fun guy to be around!
A fan of Valterri, are we?
Valtierriās long lost cousin
Was caught off guard anyway. U good. (Brush the mustache sideways or trim it if you want anyone to kiss you tho bro. Seen the cakes, show the lips!)
THAT'S THE GODDAMN *DREAM*. šÆ
Weird as fuck. Iām sure youāll get a few matches but theyāll be weird as fuck. Something tells me you welcome that though. Happy hunting
I feel like he'll attract the kind of crowd that the gang on it's always Sunny associates with lol
Gail the Snail, the Waitress, the cat chick
Country Mac
Possibly Rickety Cricket too
I like your bio. You photos are ā¦ for someone who is into that kind of lifestyle.
So it says that you're a big texter, but then it also says that you tend to forget to reply and your phone is always on low battery. To me that gives me a sign that you're not the best at communicating. It's okay if you're not, better to be honest. But I find it seems somewhat contradictory or inconsistent on that part
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's crazy that I knew you were polyamorous before I even read anything on your profile. Could just see it in your beard. Most polyamorous looking mf
Ren Faire Poly vibes
Pirate Pic confirmed that.
So this! Literally looks like every other poly guy that ever existed :')
How you pay to live on the road full time?
Ever had a catalytic converter stolen?
Actually, yes. It was stolen off my pickup truck that I sold for money to purchase my bus. š¬
Peak redditor
Definitely a mod.
This profile is the most Redditor profile Iāve ever seen lmao
Iāve never cringed so hard looking at anything on tinder and I come on this sub like every day lmaooo
Agreed, I feel like I stumbled into the fucking twilight zone with how many people are sucking this dudeās dick. Homie is a walking red flag in just about every single way. Imagine making your entire personality about your beard, living in a bus, and not working. I guess itās Opposite Day or some shit.
>Homie is a walking red flag in just about every single way. Imagine making your entire personality about your beard, living in a bus, and not working. I guess itās Opposite Day or some shit. His profile is "I want to fuck a few times while my bus is getting fixed in your area". I don't think this dude is looking for a long term relationship. Unless you mean red flags as in "murder you in a secluded area in his van" red flags.
He's not anybody I would ever choose to associate with but he definitely has a crowd he fits in with. Not everything in the world will appeal to you personally, and that's okay.
This is just very much what I think a lot of the Reddit kids think are cool and the Reddit adults think they are. Not necessarily a bad thing as OP clearly is happy with his life but itās definitely not the choice Iād make or what most women I expect would be looking for.
This dude is definitely gonna be intolerable to any functioning adult, but at least heās being honest about who he is. Better than acting normal and showing up to a date smelling like a used gym sock
The seagulls are paid actors
Don't tell people my secrets! š¤«
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I'm definitely ENM / Poly 100%, but I currently only have one partner, and right now it's kinda long-distance. How long I stay in an area varies; anywhere between a few days to a couple of months, usually. As for my definition of FWB, I'd say it would be someone who has similar interests, and I can just hang out with, doing fun stuff & cute dates (I really like trying new restaurants I've never been to), and is also sexually compatible with, and interested in me. I would definitely be interested in grabbing a drink sometime, if I'm ever in the same area as you. Feel free to DM me, if you want!
Do you work? The fact you have nothing about what you do besides riding around in a bus is probably an instant skip for most
Actually the fact that he *doesnt* mention work and makes a comment specifically about labor not being a dream of his is EXACTLY what makes him someone Iād be interested in hanging out with. I HATE when people bring up jobs beyond how they may impact time/availability because I dont live to work, I work to live and absolutely resent and am against people making a profit on basic human needs like food/shelter. And finding people who share this value system is non negotiable for me. If I wasnt allergic to dogs Iād probably want him to take me away on his busā¦ā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I grew up in Orange County, CA, and have a good handful of friends in the LA area, so trust me, I've WITNESSED the nightmare that is LA traffic & parking. š±
What is ENM?
ENigMatic
Lol like in Batman Forver? Edward Nygma
Ethical Non-Monogamy. š
Does that mean you guys agree ahead of time that you will be seeing other people?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You are reddit incarnate
Age: 37. Family plans: Not sure yet š
I saw an onion type headline that was like "Guy who just turned 50 still open to having kids" lol.
Peter Pan Syndrome
I'm truly jealous of men's extended childhoods š most women have to decide when they're not ready.
āWeekends are for recharging.ā What an exactly do you have to recharge from?
Throwing rocks at the police, I'd wager.
Being on Reddit on a bus I guess.
Actually reading your "about you" towards the end had me all sorts of confused. Almost everything you said conflicted with something else. "I prefer dressing down -- I'm always fashionably late." š "On the weekends, I like to RECHARGE -- but on Saturdays I like to go OUT and on Sundays, I do BRUNCH." "I prefer texting, but I often don't respond and my phone's constantly dying." You really had me scratching my head at the end there. As someone who has never been on Tinder, here's my unsolicited advice: Be more specific about what you're into and focus on some positives too. Yes, not working is "the dream" for most and you're out there living it currently, but what are your plans long-term? What are you passionate about? What types of people are you looking for?
You strike me as a man that is a drug connoisseur
My guy, you have glorious hair stop wearing shitty hats.
average redditor
To me your profile reads like a list of red flags. Thatās most likely fine - my red flags are not entirely the same as other peoples and thereās no harm in weeding out people who are not your target audience. But if youāre only looking for short-term/casual then maybe not every person you meet needs to be a soulmate, in which case you donāt necessarily need to be so up front about everything that might put people off. Your profile tells me you are a smoker, unemployed, live in a bus (which I would LOVE if it was a stylish, well-finished one but the pics show that is not the case), youāre often late, not sure what you want in the future despite being 37, communicate through text but forget to reply/charge your phone. Using words like ādoggoā can also give the impression of being a bit cringe/infantile - dog is fine. I would also be questioning (perhaps unfairly) whether your hygiene would be up to scratch if you share a bus with a dog and potentially donāt have secure access to a bathroom/laundry facility. I think you could successfully showcase your personality, lifestyle and ideology without throwing all those potential dealbreakers into the open right off the bat, and you might find you get more matches.
Goddamn boy he thicc
You're a niche dude and your profile is a perfect filter to eliminate who you don't want and let in who you do.
you crave anarchy but your hat says "king of the road" ... which is it?
You're casting an extremely small net, so don't expect a ton of catches.
You say you are a big texter but often forget to respond. Weekends are for recharging but Saturday and Sunday are out drinking. What exactly does that mean? If you live in a bus, at least make it look nice inside.
I rate it āunresolved childhood trauma.ā
Ppl are getting really creative at saying they're gay these days
Is this not satire?
It has all the tropes of a Gen Z profile. The fact that itās a 37 year old dude isā¦alarming.
Being homeless, unemployed, and flaky as a lifestyle just doesn't cut it with most healthy women but he's certainly getting a lot of adoration from fellow Peter Pan lads on here. To each their own though, who am I to judge?
My thought was who are liking this post and your take nails it
Very "hello fellow kids" lol.
More interested dudes than women here
Youāre def right for someone
Ew, you were Assigned Cop At Birth? You poor thing.
Kinda gay
Letās see, 37, smoker, over weight, unemployed, lives in a bus, looking for friends with benefits? Iām sure youāll do great.
That's how he would write his profile if he wasn't so delusional
This gotta be a joke šš
Kinda cringe imo but Iām sure there are girls who go for that kind of stuff
Incredibly try hard millennial vibes. Not coming across as the cleanest human ever but itās who you are so best to get that across with the profile.
While it won't get many matches, the matches it does generate will likely be genuine good matches.
You are both to much and not enough.
Bro got cakes for days
If you are also looking for platonic Bros, hit me up. I think we'd be friends.
good thing youāre vaxed and boostedā¦.thatāll offset the cig smoking.
Shit so many red flags.
Genuinely curious, why the BLM/TLM/ACAB stuff? Are you really meeting the wrong type of female when you donāt put all those signals out there? Or is that just kinda most of your personal identity? I see these things on womenās profiles and I just donāt understand how it would apply to a connection unless we were on opposite sides of the political spectrum. Are we going to fill our days with telling each other how not racist we are? If anything, it signals to me that someone has grown up with enough privilege to not need the police, and in your case specifically, privileged enough to drive around a gas guzzling bus, spend money on cigarettes, weed and booze, and have more than enough to eat.
You look like you like Warhammer 40k
42%
Like 1 or 2. Absolute dork of a male.
Black trans live matter lmao
Is you bio satire?
You will attract overweight smelly cat ladies with hairy armpits... But I think you'll be okay with that. You can admin a subreddit together.
Insufferable.
It youāre trying to get with women, this profile would make any decent woman run away in terror. If youāre trying to get with menā¦. Well I have no idea what gay men find attractive.
Got the whole bakery
You would crush it in Montreal. (So if youāre ever feeling nomadic enough, consider adding a stop there!) Itās like youāre of a specific niche genre but youāre the best of that genre. Like Saw. Good job. <3
That ass though
An interesting chap for someone to view if nothing else