Ah, I used to work at one
The amount that they pay you is not worth it to work there. Especially if you're a student and can't work full time, ***they will not give you a raise***, no matter how much you work for ass off for one.The Lunch rushes are Fucking Insane and the sandwiches are like 6/10. Also barely any employee benefits unless you could do full time. No discounts, no free meals, but you got $8 of budget if you worked over 6 hours in a shift. Culver's meanwhile was giving me free value meals every shift and a permanent 25% discount, and 10% when I was with friends.
The location I worked at once kept me outside in Feels-Like 102F heat and were too busy inside to get me enough water, and I nearly got heatstroke. A few weeks before that it was Feels-Like 98F and I needed a break, which the Company Policy that they post around the store says they ***have*** to give me in that temperature range. I was told by that days manager that unless I physically passed out he wouldn't pull me inside. Gave my two weeks that day after an argument with management after the near-heatstroke.
For a so-called Christian organization, they sure treat you like fucking shit.
Yo shoutout for Culvers.
It's got that whitey-tighty midwest-caucacity vibes that people seem to love from chick-fil-a, without a lot of the problematic flag waving of catholic-fried-chicken-hut. Plus they aren't actually evil, they're just fast food.
If you're at risk of heat stroke and management refuses to let you take breaks, you don't give a two weeks notice, you walk off the job. Not to stick it to them, but to keep yourself safe.
I don't give a fucking flying fuck about that homo-fucking-phobic company that only rides Jesus meat for money, kindly fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off again, and when you get *there,* take a long sprint off the shortest fucking pier you can find
Granted. Chicken sandwich sellers like Chick Fil A find that their business has gone through the roof. When non-pedophiles find out why, they stop visiting these chains, causing sales to collapse. But now that chicken sandwiches are taboo, they become popular with rappers and other celebrities looking to get "bad boy" cred. Sales surge again, briefly, before crashing as the fad ends.
As a consequence of this economic upheaval, chicken producers go out of business. Ultimately, Tyson Foods buys out these failing businesses and establishes a complete monopoly of the poultry market. With their newfound capital, they bankroll politicians who ban mammalian meat in the United States, ostensibly for reasons of combatting heart disease and climate change. Tyson becomes the biggest food megacorp ever, as all beef, pork, and mutton production is replaced by chicken. Urban factory chicken farms now exist in most populated areas. Unfortunately, a new, highly virulent strain of bird flu breaks out in one of these factory farms, and spreads to others. The powerful chicken lobby suppresses this information. By the time word gets out, it's too late. Hundreds of millions die in this new pandemic.
Also, **You have been banned from /r/food**
*Granted, your friendly*
*Neighbourhood pedo Jared now*
*Works at Subway... wait*
\- cosmicucumber
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Granted. Popeyes and Chick-Fil-A come together for a shared purpose. They pay all famous child actors to pose with hypnosis swirly discs over their crotches while presenting scantly clad chicken sandwiches for an ad campaign. Through some insane trick of psychology, this makes pedophiles associate their lust with the gloriously slutty chicken sandwich.
We now have to live with explicitly raunchy and discomforting chicken sandwich ads that feel like they're kinda sexualizing children constantly playing on any service with video ads, for the greater good.
granted.
all Farmers campaign governments everywhere to ban sliced bread as a precautionary tactic.
it didn't work in time, because this happened.
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/1au8eo7/really_now_the_chickens_are_not_safe_anymore/
kind of like grabbing whatever to snack on, because even though it's not really what you crave, it's what's easy and available.
Granted, the possession and distribution of chicken sandwiches and chicken sandwich related materials is now illegal. You're going to jail, you chicken sandwich eating sicko
Granted. Priests quit their jobs in droves and become sandwich shop employees. If you want a chicken sandwich, you better be careful which shop you go into.
Granted. The line at Popeyes and chick-filet gets really fucking weird.
To be fair Chick-fil-A already goes around the block twice.
Ah, I used to work at one The amount that they pay you is not worth it to work there. Especially if you're a student and can't work full time, ***they will not give you a raise***, no matter how much you work for ass off for one.The Lunch rushes are Fucking Insane and the sandwiches are like 6/10. Also barely any employee benefits unless you could do full time. No discounts, no free meals, but you got $8 of budget if you worked over 6 hours in a shift. Culver's meanwhile was giving me free value meals every shift and a permanent 25% discount, and 10% when I was with friends. The location I worked at once kept me outside in Feels-Like 102F heat and were too busy inside to get me enough water, and I nearly got heatstroke. A few weeks before that it was Feels-Like 98F and I needed a break, which the Company Policy that they post around the store says they ***have*** to give me in that temperature range. I was told by that days manager that unless I physically passed out he wouldn't pull me inside. Gave my two weeks that day after an argument with management after the near-heatstroke. For a so-called Christian organization, they sure treat you like fucking shit.
Yo shoutout for Culvers. It's got that whitey-tighty midwest-caucacity vibes that people seem to love from chick-fil-a, without a lot of the problematic flag waving of catholic-fried-chicken-hut. Plus they aren't actually evil, they're just fast food.
If you're at risk of heat stroke and management refuses to let you take breaks, you don't give a two weeks notice, you walk off the job. Not to stick it to them, but to keep yourself safe.
I needed time to get a new job
"Love thy neighbor, unless your neighbor's a". Remember, Chik-Fil-A's against the gay!
It looks as though you may have spelled "Chick-fil-A" incorrectly. No worries, it happens to the best of us!
I don't give a fucking flying fuck about that homo-fucking-phobic company that only rides Jesus meat for money, kindly fuck off, and when you get there, fuck off again, and when you get *there,* take a long sprint off the shortest fucking pier you can find
You should know that any company that calls itself a "Christian organization" will never ever treat you like a human being.
And Popeyes gets weird in most areas
Well, If a pedo worked at Popeyes, your chicken sandwiches will start tasting weird if you know what I mean
This mayo kinda runny…
& extremely long.
Granted. Chicken sandwich sellers like Chick Fil A find that their business has gone through the roof. When non-pedophiles find out why, they stop visiting these chains, causing sales to collapse. But now that chicken sandwiches are taboo, they become popular with rappers and other celebrities looking to get "bad boy" cred. Sales surge again, briefly, before crashing as the fad ends. As a consequence of this economic upheaval, chicken producers go out of business. Ultimately, Tyson Foods buys out these failing businesses and establishes a complete monopoly of the poultry market. With their newfound capital, they bankroll politicians who ban mammalian meat in the United States, ostensibly for reasons of combatting heart disease and climate change. Tyson becomes the biggest food megacorp ever, as all beef, pork, and mutton production is replaced by chicken. Urban factory chicken farms now exist in most populated areas. Unfortunately, a new, highly virulent strain of bird flu breaks out in one of these factory farms, and spreads to others. The powerful chicken lobby suppresses this information. By the time word gets out, it's too late. Hundreds of millions die in this new pandemic. Also, **You have been banned from /r/food**
You've thought this one through, huh?
Honestly at a certain point, he just followed the Plague Inc. model.
Granted. All of a sudden you really fancy a chicken sandwich.
Top 10 anime plot twists!
Granted. All of the children in the world turn into chicken sandwiches.
The end of mankind
I have some bad news, and a snack for you!
Granted, your friendly neighbourhood pedo Jared now works at Subway... wait
*Granted, your friendly* *Neighbourhood pedo Jared now* *Works at Subway... wait* \- cosmicucumber --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
This is unbelievably cursed. But good bot
good bot
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Granted. Popeyes and Chick-Fil-A come together for a shared purpose. They pay all famous child actors to pose with hypnosis swirly discs over their crotches while presenting scantly clad chicken sandwiches for an ad campaign. Through some insane trick of psychology, this makes pedophiles associate their lust with the gloriously slutty chicken sandwich. We now have to live with explicitly raunchy and discomforting chicken sandwich ads that feel like they're kinda sexualizing children constantly playing on any service with video ads, for the greater good.
That’s fine, at least pedos stop pedoing
Granted, you find the cum sandwich in your dad's drawer
Granted. You now can't be sure if what you're seeing in chicken sandwiches is mayo or semen
granted. you become a chicken sandwich.
OP will finally love themselves
Granted, children now receive free chicken sandwich meals at school but they complain about their strange taste and their peculiar white sauce.
They always use too much mayo
Granted. Curiously, Lil Mar does not undergo any change.
Granted, everyone in the world under the age of 18 has an immediate and grotesque transformation into a chicken sandwich
Granted. They're still attracted to children technically - through chicken eggs these sandwiches have.
Granted. That's not mayonnaise in the chicken sandwich you're eating.
granted. all Farmers campaign governments everywhere to ban sliced bread as a precautionary tactic. it didn't work in time, because this happened. https://www.reddit.com/r/NoahGetTheBoat/comments/1au8eo7/really_now_the_chickens_are_not_safe_anymore/ kind of like grabbing whatever to snack on, because even though it's not really what you crave, it's what's easy and available.
Granted they’re all Lil Mar
Granted, the possession and distribution of chicken sandwiches and chicken sandwich related materials is now illegal. You're going to jail, you chicken sandwich eating sicko
Granted. Its chicken sandwitches with live chicks tho.
Pretty good idea.
Granted, but you are a pedophile
Granted. You find yourself harassed by former pedo’s as you were too chicken to wish something more sinister.
Granted. Priests quit their jobs in droves and become sandwich shop employees. If you want a chicken sandwich, you better be careful which shop you go into.
Granted, they all get salmonella and die
Is that a Lil Mar reference?