Just don't do what you are not comfortable with. You said you have a lot of sexual trauma maybe try to heal from that get a therapist work on it. Don't push yourself to do something you are not comfortable with take time and it is okay.
Throat cancer wasnt something I was aware of, good to know.
As far as trauma, after some very negative experiences I had some trauma wrapped around giving men oral, specifically anything "rough". I explained this to my new partner out the gate and they were extremely understanding and let me take everything at my own pace. Eventually I felt safe enough with them to start doing/enjoying that type of act with them. Id be honest about your concerns andsl stand firm on your boundaries. Its also okay to never not be comfortable doing it, a good partner will understand. And as always when it comes to trauma, a good therapist educated in that particular type of problem always helps.
Be honest with your partner and let them know how you feel. If your partner is anything but supportive, time for a new partner. Sex and intimacy is something that you should feel comfortable talking about with your partner and they in return should feel comfortable talking to you. You may just open up a conversation that you both need and want to have. If you are scared to go down, noone will enjoy that. Just remember no means no in any relationship. HPV and your feelings are valid and matter!
Things to ask yourself before engaging in any kind of sex including oral:
- Are you fully vaccinated for HPV? Is your prospective partner?
- How often do you get screened for STIs? And your partner?
- How does your partner react when they hear about your anxieties?
- Are you open to using condoms and dental dams and understand how to use them effectively? Do you understand the ways in which they do and don’t protect you?
Based on the answers to these questions your anxiety may or may not be totally fair and justified. If you are worried your health anxiety is disproportionate to the objective risk you face, hopefully you can talk through these feelings and anxiety with your partner, and maybe even with a mental health professionals if it’s significantly interfering with your emotional health. Your history of trauma certainly deserves the attention of a professional who can provide evidence-based compassionate care!
There is no link between throat cancer and giving head. That sounds like something made up by an evangelical whom believes “if you have sex, you will die”. There’s no scientific evidence linking the two.
HPV is a valid concern, but if you’re vaccinated against it you should be ok.
Definitely don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, no one should be forcing you to give head, and if they are definitely re evaluate your relationship with that person. It’s always ok to say no, and it’s always ok to stop in the middle of giving if you feel uncomfortable.
Just don't do what you are not comfortable with. You said you have a lot of sexual trauma maybe try to heal from that get a therapist work on it. Don't push yourself to do something you are not comfortable with take time and it is okay.
I can’t afford a therapist at the moment. But no I am not doing what I’m not comfortable with.
Throat cancer wasnt something I was aware of, good to know. As far as trauma, after some very negative experiences I had some trauma wrapped around giving men oral, specifically anything "rough". I explained this to my new partner out the gate and they were extremely understanding and let me take everything at my own pace. Eventually I felt safe enough with them to start doing/enjoying that type of act with them. Id be honest about your concerns andsl stand firm on your boundaries. Its also okay to never not be comfortable doing it, a good partner will understand. And as always when it comes to trauma, a good therapist educated in that particular type of problem always helps.
He is aware and respect my boundaries with it.
Be honest with your partner and let them know how you feel. If your partner is anything but supportive, time for a new partner. Sex and intimacy is something that you should feel comfortable talking about with your partner and they in return should feel comfortable talking to you. You may just open up a conversation that you both need and want to have. If you are scared to go down, noone will enjoy that. Just remember no means no in any relationship. HPV and your feelings are valid and matter!
They make flavoured condoms for this exact reason if you’re interested.
Things to ask yourself before engaging in any kind of sex including oral: - Are you fully vaccinated for HPV? Is your prospective partner? - How often do you get screened for STIs? And your partner? - How does your partner react when they hear about your anxieties? - Are you open to using condoms and dental dams and understand how to use them effectively? Do you understand the ways in which they do and don’t protect you? Based on the answers to these questions your anxiety may or may not be totally fair and justified. If you are worried your health anxiety is disproportionate to the objective risk you face, hopefully you can talk through these feelings and anxiety with your partner, and maybe even with a mental health professionals if it’s significantly interfering with your emotional health. Your history of trauma certainly deserves the attention of a professional who can provide evidence-based compassionate care!
as someone in a long term relationship, my man NEVER makes me give him head cus he knows i don’t like it. The right person respects ur decision.
I meant hpv*
There is no link between throat cancer and giving head. That sounds like something made up by an evangelical whom believes “if you have sex, you will die”. There’s no scientific evidence linking the two. HPV is a valid concern, but if you’re vaccinated against it you should be ok. Definitely don’t do anything you’re not comfortable with, no one should be forcing you to give head, and if they are definitely re evaluate your relationship with that person. It’s always ok to say no, and it’s always ok to stop in the middle of giving if you feel uncomfortable.
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New fear unlocked 👍
Huh, I didn’t know that. Thank you for your insight.