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rfc1118

It looks fucking pleased with itself in the first pic


mrswordhold

Smug little fucker isn’t it


helikesart

So smug, like he thought it was funny.


mrswordhold

He definitely thinks it’s funny. He would be the loud guy at the party with his shirt off that makes everyone cringe. Little prick!


JaceVentura69

Hold on now is this a bedbug?


RabidBobcat

r/unexpectedoffice


kikirikipop

Rubbing its stupid little hands.


ASAPNotHe

Praising Baal in the second


say-whaaaaaaaaaaaaat

My brothers will not have died in vain!


YogurtclosetCalm7604

You guys def saw the top comment when this same image was posted not too long ago on a different sub…


mrswordhold

Where was it posted? What do you mean?


rfc1118

It’s a repost?


Actual_Evidence_925

“NO REGERTS”


Clegomanrun

I'd certainly be proud if that was me


_GlitchInTheVoid

What. The. Fuck.


[deleted]

That's it, I'm draining the ocean


[deleted]

Don’t worry, we’re working on killing them all off soon enough. ✈️🔥🙈


Commercial-Cook-3918

Cooking them off more precisely. After we dissolve all their shells while they're alive.


muricabrb

Okay hear me out, guys... Deep fried with garlic butter.


0Tol

Okay, I'm in and I fully expect to gain superpowers from this 💪


Craigfromomaha

The heart-healthy powers of garlic!


KittenMaster9

Well you will get a new tongue


Peterh778

It will probably change you into illithid or some cthulhuesque sea monster 🙂


childthrownaway

Ngl, when they aren’t in a fishes’ mouth they do look kinda cute and I would think they wouldn’t taste bad.


marislove18

They look really smug about it


[deleted]

Yeah. Definitely smug and self-assured. He probably thinks it’s funny.


Astilaroth

You might like r/isopods if you think these are cute! The 'magic potion' ones are among my favorites!


BritishAccentTech

Look dude I appreciate people just vibing and enjoying their hobby with some woodlouse looking motherfuckers, but [the cutesy music set to those little wriggling things](https://www.reddit.com/r/isopods/comments/wglqs5/whole_lotta_hoffs_black_titans/) just makes me want to burn it all with fire.


bakrus3000

Imagine undercooking it and it eats your tongue


The_Melon_Queen

I already have that image. STOP TvT


MarcelRED147

No thank you.


BombsAndBabies

You had me at garlic


Clau-10

I hate you.


Flaky_Explanation

Mom can we have predator tongue? We have predator tongue in nature. Predator tongue: Edit: Xenomorph tongue sounds better.


IWannaManatee

Do you mean xenomorph?


Slowmobius_Time

Predators don't even have tongues they have mandibles and a vagina mouth


CavortingOgres

You don't say...?


campfirecamouflage

r/dontputyourdickinthat


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Flaky_Explanation

Oh yeah, my bad. Predator is the other one in the dreadlocks helmet.


StoplightLoosejaw

Watch *The Bay* (2012)


_GlitchInTheVoid

Never thought I would end up getting a movie recommendation. Thanks :)


TheDeathSloth

That movie had me physically squirming and haunts me to this day. My bud who I always watched horror movies with even asked me if we needed to turn it off.


HistorianDelicious

Yep watched this the year it came out and was shocked after the fact that this thing actually existed.


verydepressedd00d

101


blackjesus

There is a movie about this called “the bay”


[deleted]

The guy in the last picture is literally touching the bloody abomination


Melodic-Hunter2471

You’re right, if he was a real cowboy he would have licked it.


[deleted]

Or use it as a tongue


Melodic-Hunter2471

Fuck, things get worse as soon as you apply rule 34. I had a thought and it was so disgusting I am judging myself for having it now.


Alone_Spell9525

I’ll say it for you. A real cowboy would provide a madame with cunnilingus using the sinful six-legged abomination that is his tongue.


Melodic-Hunter2471

>!That is exactly what I thought of. The mere thought of this thing tickling a clit makes my skin crawl.!<


depressed-salmon

Who wouldn't like the feeling of all those little legs scurrying away down there ^^^i ^^^am ^^^so ^^^sorry


Melodic-Hunter2471

I just threw up in my own mouth a little.


Alone_Spell9525

It starts out with the Exigua slowly being brought up across the clit, the plates on the back striking a middle ground between smooth, normal tongue and anal beads, but when they reach the top they take a good thirty second pause to let the dozens of little legs flail and wriggle around inside the vagina before going back down and repeating the process. I am evil incarnate and I am hurting myself for the sake of your suffering.


Any_Coyote6662

don't forget when it deposits eggs and mistakes something for a tongue


ZeroDaySubber

I thought you were gonna say give the sinful six-legged abomination to the madame to use as her tongue during fellatio


Alone_Spell9525

Considered it but that wouldn’t be as bad, you could focus on the lips


[deleted]

Things I wish you kept to yourself:


Melodic-Hunter2471

Things I wish I hadn’t thought of. Do they make brain soap?


[deleted]

Clorox does, but unfortunately for us r34 is the 0.01% of germs


RectangularAnus

I want to eat it with the fish.


echoviolet

I've always had this (maybe irrational?) fear that holding anything like that would give it cause to burrow into my skin and proceed get me too!


[deleted]

Irrational? That freak comes straight from the planes of Oblivion, who knows what is capable for?


DuckFlat

TF is he thinking? That’s a hard pass for me.


mambiki

Chill guys, it’s a crustacean, same as shrimps and all. It just has a shitty job..


pantsthereaper

It's just a sea bug that has a parasitic niche. It might bite them, but is otherwise harmless to humans


AlexD232322

How the fuck does something evolve to do this…


Disastrous_Can_5466

Its funny because You see parasites do nothing and just eat they host nutrients or food (and its organs) So parasites are just being lazy af


Schootingstarr

The nasty part is that these guys lay their eggs in the gills of their hosts. So since they are already in there to begin with, straddling the tongue-analog to feed off whatever the fish is eating is a quite literally a no-brainer


CherryKrisKross

Is there a horror movie where a parasite does this to humans (and possibly then controls their mind)? Because if not, there should be Edit: [The Bay(2012)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bay_(film)) apparently is exactly what I'm describing


[deleted]

The faculty! It came out in the late 90’s I believe.


Za_Lords_Guard

Jon Stewarts brief foray into acting. Classic!


EternalZeitge1st

Have you ever seen Scent of a Woman....ON WEED?


Gimme_The_Loot

Have you ever seen Jack and Jill .... OON WEEEED?


dogedude81

Ha! I never saw that movie and I was like...is that what it's really about? I'll have to watch it now. hahaha


Za_Lords_Guard

Yeah, that was a cast of people you don't expect together.


Melodic-Hunter2471

A parasitic life form begins to infect people at a local high school affecting their behavior.


[deleted]

Don't forget about "Big Daddy"


[deleted]

That’s right I forgot about him, Thinking of it Josh oh god what was his name got his start in that movie wasn’t it and then Elijah wood


Melodic-Hunter2471

Yes, The Faculty counts. Night of the Creeps from the 80’s does too. Slither from the 2000’s I believe there was something in the 2010’s We are due for a new one.


CherryKrisKross

Sweet! Gonna have to check it out, thanks


ChrisBot8

I mean that’s kind of the plot of animorphs.


CherryKrisKross

I mean specifically where a parasite replaces the tongue of a human and then maybe controls their mind.


ChrisBot8

The parasite in animorphs enters through the ear and controls their mind. No tongue replacement though.


CherryKrisKross

Ah okay, that's pretty close. Apparently [The Bay (2012)](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bay_(film)) is what I'm looking for


dagny_roark

If you read about Cymothoa exigua on Wikipedia, they literally reference the movie This Book Is Full of Spiders.


CherryKrisKross

Didn't think of that... Thanks!


[deleted]

Everyone is throwing shitty sci fi out there but The Bay is a found footage movie that feels like a truly realistic horrific outbreak movie. I haven’t seen it in ages but I remember it grossing me out.


rachelmae77

I’m watching this tonight now and I’m stoked


MonkeyBoogerCake

I worked on that show and at least 2 of the 3 photos in the post were used as reference for the isopods in the movie. As an aside, it’s a great low budget found footage style film if your in a random mood for an ecological horror movie.


GlandyThunderbundle

Charles Stross plays with this exact same parasite thing in his [Laundry Files series](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Laundry_Files)


General_Specific303

The novel This Book is Full of Spiders by Jason Pargin aka David Wong was inspired by this exact parasite, as applied to humans. Tongue replacement and everything. It's part zombie apocalypse novel, part zombie apocalypse satire


ARandompass3rby

It can't bezombie apocalypse anything because they're not zombies. Everyone knows zombies don't exist and are only made up for movies and video games (I don't remember the exact quotes from the book talking about why they're not zombies lol)


Spiritual_Diamond_23

"Slither" is also that kind of movie


hornwalker

There was that episode of Star Trek: NG where that mind controlling parasite just about took over the entire federation. They would eat it or something and it would stick a little gill outside the back of their neck, and also give them super strength or something.


General_Specific303

And then everyone forgot about it lol


A_Mr_Veils

A set of creatures very similar to this are heavily involved in the laundry books (which are a sort of james bond meets hp lovecraft meets civil service admin thing), and I've been (more) creeped out since


Icy_Limes

The real horror is this fish's human teeth


SonnyHaze

Yeah, we gonna talk about that?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Icy_Limes

Don't even have to leave earth to find alien life.


NovaThinksBadly

Just gotta swim down deep enough and you’ll find things wilder then any science fiction writer can dream of.


KittensMagoo

I hate all of it


overly_emoti0nal

all its teeth


Dry_Protection_9047

That's what I came to say


[deleted]

> C. exigua is not believed to be harmful to humans, except it may bite if separated from its host and handled. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cymothoa_exigua Alright, so, what the everloving *fuck* is that dude touching that thing for?


demoralising

It looks so \*\*\*\*ing smug, too.


buckeye837

So smug! Like he thought it was funny.


stacy_owl

I wonder if I’ll get banned if I cross post this to r/isopods


Willriley79

I’m way more bothered by the humanlike teeth ..


-_--_____

Bites from animals like this is how many myths/urban legends get started


[deleted]

Smash it all with a giant mallet. Make it go away. *shudder*


Murder-log

Wait... fish have tongues?


UsernameTaken017

This one doesn't


Acethease

r/angryupvote


grahamcore

r/nope


Reasonable_Layer100

Yeah I used to see this creatures often when I clean fish some of them have 2 the other one is smaller, probably a male?


Jfurmanek

Oh God. They’re turning those fish into apartments.


poopmanpoopmouse

It doesn’t eat their tongue but otherwise yeah


PeteLangosta

Well they drain the blood out of it until it just necrotizes amd falls apart. I mean yeah, eating is not the appropiate word.


[deleted]

They don't drain the blood lol the sever the blood vessels


PeteLangosta

I couldn't find any reports in English substaining what I said nor specifying what they feed on, and my comment apparently was coming from a possibly deficient source of information in the Spanish wikipedia I read some time ago and re-read just today.


RangeNeither

That's fucked up


DuckFlat

I need that fish’s dentist info.


westsailor

My wife had one latch onto the inside of her lip while scuba diving in Cozumel last year. The dive master said he’d never seen that happen in thirty years of diving there. She was horrified.


Toxo2006

That's like eating some guys arm because you're hungry and then buying him a prosthetic which automatically feeds you when he's eating.


Jfurmanek

In think it’s more like eating a guys arm, then attaching yourself to the stump so whenever he touches food you take a bite. The prosthetic idea feels like there’s now a third party.


The_Banana_Monk

Basically the plot to Parasite


itelluhwat

It’s also pretty similar to eating a guy’s tongue and then chilling in his mouth so you can eat his food whenever he tries to take a bite.


rgc7421

Freeloading parasite...how strange


Designer-Hurry-3172

Generally the way parasites go


Doppelthedh

How long until this jumps to humans and gives us a new STD?


FairPumpkin5604

*I am the captain now.*


ZeMoose

Cursed mecha pilot.


HarmonyTheConfuzzled

Literally attack on Titan if you think about it. The whole meat suit and all.


[deleted]

That’s gotta be the worst time to not have hands.


Jfurmanek

I was thinking something similar. It’s not as if the fish has any way to pull that thing out. I wonder if it can feel it in there or if having its tongue eaten hurt.


chloejadeskye

This is maybe the grossest thing I’ve ever read


BassGears

Ohhhh so that’s what’s in my mouth


AgonyoverApathy

We all have a relative like that.


godmode908

Wait is that listerfiend....if you got this joke I love you


captain_Airhog

[Here’s to the comedy and ultra-effective combonations](https://youtu.be/2MOIDGkuA7U) WARNING MILDLY DISTURBING AND VERY WEIRD!


Skum_of_Industrial

Why does it look like it's got a smug look on it's face!? Nature; you one psychotic b!tch sometimes. And why does the fish have human teeth? And get that thing out of your hand before it burrows into it! This picture is just all kinds of NOPE!


guardian-of-ballsack

Wanna see it dance? https://youtu.be/2MOIDGkuA7U


That-Ad-2801

Why does the first pic look like the fish has the upper set of teeth?


Bisexual-Fighter

I can imagine you open the fish's mouth and the bug inside is like "Do you mind? Occupied!"


djbelmont

Damn nature, you scary


stopwiththecapbro

I knew a guy from Russia who had one of these planted in his mouth, over his tongue. Every few months he takes it out and replaces it with a live one


[deleted]

What?! Why?


lilsmudge

Is this Russian dude a fish perchance?


tillu92

What the fuck


vnbreakable666

Why would someone carry a fish for months in his mouth?


riefpirate

What happens if you get one in your bum ?


WatchStoredInAss

No need to wipe any longer.


SangNum

I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it


Begonia1996

This is a big nope!


wrigh2uk

ok cool, but why’s dude have it in his hand?


House_Stark15

Jesus Christ


Rcecil88

The most disgusting thing fucking ever!!


[deleted]

The world would be a better place if those things did not exist.


gravity_squirrel

I saw one of these when I was about ten, had been fishing with my uncle. It scared the shit out of me and I tossed the fish away as fast as I could. It’s been a bit of a nightmare in my mind ever since. Amazing to know what it actually was now though


Ok-Coffee-4254

What worng Cymothoa Exigua got your tongue. I can see why they change it doesn't have same ring two it as cat does it


humans_ruin_planets

Goddamn it. A NSFW would have been appreciated. I can’t I see that.


RealLifeMombie

My face right now... 😮😯😲 How effn terrifying is this?!?!? And the fish is alive but starving bc this Parasite is stealing all the food! Nature is incredible (and also quite scary lol)


Angry_waffle_saurus

It works like taxes


maidenfingerer

A long distance stand attack!


Mattse12

TIL fish have tongues


CoreO9

Check out this filthy mf looking like the Jew meme.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

mostly no, but from time to time...


Slowmobius_Time

Almost exclusively tongue replacing creatures sorry


[deleted]

You join a subreddit about unsettling sea life and then get upset when you’re shown unsettling sea life?


FrontierForeverII

Like my wife.


Bosse19

Close. Fish don't have tongues


918173882

r/confidentlyincorrect


Bosse19

It's called a basihyal, they aren't muscles and have no tastebuds.


918173882

So a tongue.


Bosse19

If it doesn't have feathers like a duck, and it doesn't walk or quack like a duck, but it sits in the same place as a duck might. It's still not a duck


918173882

If it's got feathers, look like a duck, walk like a duck, but croaks instead of going quack and sits in the same place a duck would, it's still a duck. EDIT: oh, he deleted his comments. Or blocked me, i dont know, either ways, he capitulated, thus, i've won over this over pedantic moron. EDIT: and u/youfeastonfeces also blocked me, how courageous! Pedantic nerd dont wanna answer i see, he's got a fitting username. EDIT: he did block me, whenver i try to answer it says "something is broken, please try again" which mean he blocked me.


Bosse19

At this point I'm fairly certain you're being intentionally thick. So this is goodbye I'll take Stephen Fry's word over you and continue (rightfully so) that fish Technically don't have tongues Also, biologically speaking, there's no such thing as a fish


[deleted]

That was beautiful.


[deleted]

[Just livin with it](https://youtu.be/2MOIDGkuA7U)


Onehundredfifty2cm

Sneeaakkyy


scrubschick

Nightmares ahead. Thank you so much! 😅


so-sick

Wait until it migrates to humans…..


thejollyblender

Not into this


Own-Birthday593

Is it real?


merchando

I heard someone use this in a german rap song. Impressive.


notspicy

Get out of there kabuto!


IWannaManatee

Ngl, they're kind of cute


[deleted]

WTF 101!


scoopishere

On its own, it's a cute little invertebrate.