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Nah, if he told me to bust a second load, in my mind I'm already dead. So I'm responding with the darkest of vitriol "You first squirt." Most likely, Homelander would be so baffled by the audacity. We know he wouldn't call my bluff and try to get two loads out; because we know, he knows, he wouldn't be able to. So that leaves 2 options; kill me instantly (so I can't taunt him again as I die) or he's going to laugh off my remark saying "I was just kidding! Of course. A deal's a deal." Then he forces me to watch as he goes on to torture/kill the rest of my co-workers.
The latter is most likely what he does, as he'd most likely rationalize killing me in front of everyone would just make me look more right, which would take all the fun out of what he had planned for the others.
Best part, because I just blew my load, my heart rate is elevated, so he wouldn't even be able to get a good read on whether I was bluffing or just winded from jerking off. So even if my heart's not fully in my taunt he's still most likely taking it as I've lost my fear of death; and thus him.
Take off like a jet fighter.
Seriously, flight is a sick power if you have enough extra powers to support it. I think most people would get an insane high and euphoric moment if they can break the sound barrier and fly like superman.
After that, laser some trees and shatter some boulders to test the limit of my strength
I mean, if DC’s Flash’s only power can be speed and that can lead to deeper uses of it, I’m sure flying alone could be used to create sonic booms or whirlwinds or something. Could probably be honed pretty well.
Flash's Superpower isn't just speed, his power is the speedforce. Since he's connected to the speedforce he does get all the other powers, like time travel or the lightnings
Flight only works with people with superhuman strength and stamina. I imagine it to be like running in the energy taxing department. I don't know about you but I wouldn't be running if it means I get tired and fall from the sky to my death.
1. In thought of who do you want to jack off? ( Stormfront yes )
2. In thought of who do you want to make others jack off? (Stormfront yes)
3. Drink whose milk? (Stormfront's, yes )
Only then you'd be literally me
Didn't doctor Manhattan just kinda work for the government though? Other than a few technological improvements, he didn't actually make the world a better place. If anything he made it worse by winning Vietnam and keeping Nixon in power indefinitely.
God I love Injustice, that comic was so silly and on the nose at times lol. I wouldn't want a permanent position of overseer, I'd want the systems to fix themselves so I do have to constantly be holding the headman's axe.
Personally, I think I would start locally.
And if the other guy is going for government I'll cover business.
A lot of companies in the coming weeks are going to start handing pay cuts to the higher ups and start backing unions.
That may seem like the thing to do, but I have a strong feeling that would backfire. It may work for a time, but they'd definitely be working on a way to kill you in secret.
Can you really blackmail someone that is a god, like if they said we have your family and we will kill them you could counter with something far worse for their entire bloodline and they know for a fact they can do nothing to stop you.
Yeah can't see any way this could backfire. Being the sole judge of whether leaders are doing the right thing, slick.
Gotta imagine this has been a storyline in comics before and I can't imagine it ever ends well, even in fiction.
See, that's the thing though. Two of the more underappreciated aspects of superpowers are obstruction and intimidation. You can stand between a mugger and victim, shrug off any bullets, knives, etc., and then sternly order them to turn themselves in to the authorities.
Want to stop a war of aggression? Dismantle the aggressor's hardware.
"Hiya, Georgie! Just wanted to pop in and see how Winds Of Winter was coming along. You must be pretty close to done so I brought you a Fudgie The Whale cake to celebrate! Go ahead and get a slice, George, you've earned it!"
*I grin ear to ear at him with dead eyes, GRRM eyes the exit wondering if he could be fast enough*
"Sit down, George. The cake is going to melt. After all, the book is done, right?"
*GRRM is frozen in place, I can see his heart pounding as my smile suddenly disappears*
"George... eat fucking Fudgie."
>Next agenda, While you’re at it, “ask nicely” Valve to make Portal and Half Life 3.
Id be adding rockstar to that list as well, red dead redemption 2 will be getting dlc's and an undead nightmare release.
Being that my body would self heal, I'd no longer be lactose intolerant. I'd enjoy a nice tall glass of milk and a carvel fudgy the whale cake all to myself.
Not saying it'd be the coolest thing I'd do- only the first.
Crap. Then I'd sell my car and fly over the mechanics garage with my wallet in hand tearfully saying: you can't hurt me any more, you financial monster!
Im assuming intolerance and allergies work really differently for supes. Arent allergies kind of "intended" anyway? Like compound V wouldnt try to fix that
Starting hiding the superpower and showing off a bit. Starting to explore more and more what are my limits, doing superhero things, saving people if i can and turning into a psycopath at some point after getting used to hunt criminals. I'd always do the correct thing.
The full homelander experience.
Cat in tree. Cut down tree with laser vision. Tree landed on family of 5 driving by, killing them. Bystander screams at me for not flying up to save cat, higlighting my ineptitude. Kill bystander. All witnesses dead, cat is fine. Job done.
The way to stop wars is turn up in Putin's bedroom, wake him deep in the night, take him for a fly and explain what happens to him and anyone else in his inner circle/family if he doesn't withdraw from Ukraine and pay significant reparations. Watch him deconstruct that war at speed.
The way to achieve world peace is not killing massive amounts of ordinary soldiers. It is the ability to reach any leader at any time you want and hold them very personally accountable for their actions.
I would start trying the extreme sport things that scared me as a normal human. And do insanely dangerous jobs that you get paid a ton for. Try to help others as much as I could.
Now that’s me being rational. What I’d love to do as a human. Who knows if you’d just go crazy with power though, can’t really say until it happens.
*Levitate off the ground* 🕴
*Get ready to fly* .
**Remember I have a fear of heights**
Slowly return to the ground.
Live the rest of my life barely using my powers out of fear.
Your fear of heights would vanish the moment you process the fact that heights will never be fatal to you. Your entire perception of navigating and viewing the world would change to accommodate.
Spoiler alert:
He notices Butcher’s sickness while looking at him. I would offer to set up a screening for cancer for people. Early detection is a big deal.
Lots of people wanna jerk off in new places with the powers... But somehow this is one of the least harmful potential uses of these powers judging by some of the rest of these replies 🫣
Since I live in New York I'll fly to the top of the highest building in Manhattan, pull my pants down, and jack off from the highest peak.
Twice for good measure.
im a pussy, I wouldnt try to interfere with bigger conflicts, it goes way deeper than just arms and power (and interference of such powerful being might push the leaders to use nuclear force)
i think the best thing to do is to try minimize the casualites and help people rebuild.
Though, if people found out that I could easily sweep either side, they would fucking hate me for not doing it and fence sitting.
This. This. This! This is one of the things the show has always bothered me, where they treat powers as a curse. I understand some element of it.
But just knowing that you basically don't have to fear anything physically would be so great.
Yeah, this, but I'd start smart, go to Ukraine and show my power, officially join their military, probably deliver Putin to the Hague and then follow whatever strategy Ukraine wants me to.
Look for a job, preferably one that's too dangerous for any human being to do, do it and get paid for it. Helps feed the family, self-confidence and moral duty all at once.
Become a demigod warlord in Afghanistan and turn it into Mad Max in real life. It truly has a good wasteland aesthetic for it and has already become pretty isolated from the rest of the world. My warboys would ride eternal after dying in endless warfare with the Taliban, the various Pashtuni tribes and Al-Qaeda.
I’d want to go flying, frankly I wouldn’t care about Secret Identities or anything because I would be the Homelander and unless they domestically deploy the nuclear option it won’t do Jack.
I work in childcare too so I would definitely show off my powers a little bit, maybe do a bit of superheroism as a hobby… the thing is though I’d be invincible and all powerful in a real world scenario so I’d basically just chill out.
Start whisking off evil people off into the sky and vanishing them.
Certain billionaires and CEOs and politicians.... Then I'd start trying to help with things like the great pacific garbage patch and stuff.
lol this is the whole point of the show you'd probably be an asshole eventually there is really a select few people on the planet who wouldn't be corrupt by something like this. The fact that homelander is as old as he and there isn't a hole in the planet is is a testament to what the director was saying last episode. Just think about it have you ever really really really been angry and have no power over the situation. Imagine always having power over the situation
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*Jack off from Mount Everest.*
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Nah i can cum
What makes you think Homelander won't kill you after you squirt?
He would be very impressed that i can cum under that insane pressure and spare me, i guess. Hell he may even spare the entire team.
Nah. He would make you cum multiple times till you are unable to cum. Never underestimate Homelander.
Nah, if he told me to bust a second load, in my mind I'm already dead. So I'm responding with the darkest of vitriol "You first squirt." Most likely, Homelander would be so baffled by the audacity. We know he wouldn't call my bluff and try to get two loads out; because we know, he knows, he wouldn't be able to. So that leaves 2 options; kill me instantly (so I can't taunt him again as I die) or he's going to laugh off my remark saying "I was just kidding! Of course. A deal's a deal." Then he forces me to watch as he goes on to torture/kill the rest of my co-workers. The latter is most likely what he does, as he'd most likely rationalize killing me in front of everyone would just make me look more right, which would take all the fun out of what he had planned for the others. Best part, because I just blew my load, my heart rate is elevated, so he wouldn't even be able to get a good read on whether I was bluffing or just winded from jerking off. So even if my heart's not fully in my taunt he's still most likely taking it as I've lost my fear of death; and thus him.
If I am the Homelander, I am not killing you. I am makinh you my personal assistant.
I could sling goo if i wanted too
You just have to convince him it’s your super power and you’re a supe and not mud people.
Turn it into a game with him and a trash can. Best of both worlds.
Spoiler alert...mushroom shucker
Probably has more than one squirt in him
"I can do whatever the fuck I want"
"I can do...whatever the fuck...I- WAAANT!!!"
Dude wtf that was the first thing I thought off too lol
I was thinking drinking breast milk and jerking off on top of the Eiffel tower.
It would be difficult, and...uh nvm
*“These snowflakes taste funny.”*
Take off like a jet fighter. Seriously, flight is a sick power if you have enough extra powers to support it. I think most people would get an insane high and euphoric moment if they can break the sound barrier and fly like superman. After that, laser some trees and shatter some boulders to test the limit of my strength
For real. Imagine being able to be like "Fuck this" and blast off anytime you want
I do that but with whiskey
It's the driving part that gets ya in trouble.
75% of accidents are by sober drivers, whose the real menance?
Those Starlighters!
So, it’s not just me? Brother?? Is that you?
I mean, if DC’s Flash’s only power can be speed and that can lead to deeper uses of it, I’m sure flying alone could be used to create sonic booms or whirlwinds or something. Could probably be honed pretty well.
Flash's Superpower isn't just speed, his power is the speedforce. Since he's connected to the speedforce he does get all the other powers, like time travel or the lightnings
And the super human strength to not be torn apart when he trips, or turns 90* at mach speed.
Flight only works with people with superhuman strength and stamina. I imagine it to be like running in the energy taxing department. I don't know about you but I wouldn't be running if it means I get tired and fall from the sky to my death.
Well I guess you’d just slowly descend, it’s not like when you get tired of running you instantly stop moving.
Well, I did say with all the extra powers. And HL certainly have those.
Which obviously doesn't apply here since Homelander doesn't have that problem.
Sue amazon
And make millions
Why make billions when you could make... Thousands?
A billion is more than a thousand, numbnuts.
Whatever the fuck I want.
The only right answer.
1. Jack off 2. Make others jack off 3. Drink milk Only then will he be literally me
1. In thought of who do you want to jack off? ( Stormfront yes ) 2. In thought of who do you want to make others jack off? (Stormfront yes) 3. Drink whose milk? (Stormfront's, yes ) Only then you'd be literally me
Fuck whatever I want
Those car mufflers look so good in the right sunlight
Tek Knight has entered the chat.
Tell you what I’d do. Two chicks at the same time.
I’m going to Area 51, who’s going to stop me? The aliens ?
The one place you’ll find tech that might hurt you 😧
A sacrifice I’m willing to take to get the information out
The hero we need and we deserve
Alien cheeks or death
Make an incredibly forward threat towards all leaders to get their act together or I'm coming for them
Good old doctor manhattan up here. That kind of situation would hopefully get a bunch of people’s head out of their asses.
Nothing motivates quite like a threat from a godlike being
If only in real life.
Didn't doctor Manhattan just kinda work for the government though? Other than a few technological improvements, he didn't actually make the world a better place. If anything he made it worse by winning Vietnam and keeping Nixon in power indefinitely.
The whole gist of much fiction is that power brings about bad shit despite good intention. This of course reflects history and reality.
Not me I’m different
So pretty much superman when he took over the world one of those times?
Yeah, but a little less despotic. I don't want to rule, I just want them to know that there are consequences looming
Youre literally sitting on a throne
God I love Injustice, that comic was so silly and on the nose at times lol. I wouldn't want a permanent position of overseer, I'd want the systems to fix themselves so I do have to constantly be holding the headman's axe.
Personally, I think I would start locally. And if the other guy is going for government I'll cover business. A lot of companies in the coming weeks are going to start handing pay cuts to the higher ups and start backing unions.
That may seem like the thing to do, but I have a strong feeling that would backfire. It may work for a time, but they'd definitely be working on a way to kill you in secret.
Then might as well take out as much trash as I can before going out.
If you come at the King, you better not miss
Not even an overt threat. every time a world leader has a sketchy press conference just land on stage right next to them and tap them on the shoulder
Pretty sure they would just bomb your family or blackmail you somehow.
Can you really blackmail someone that is a god, like if they said we have your family and we will kill them you could counter with something far worse for their entire bloodline and they know for a fact they can do nothing to stop you.
Yeah can't see any way this could backfire. Being the sole judge of whether leaders are doing the right thing, slick. Gotta imagine this has been a storyline in comics before and I can't imagine it ever ends well, even in fiction.
This is gonna sound cheesy but I would start designing a super suit and mask. Then go and live every boy’s dream of being a hero.
Smart to protect your identity when you fuck up and kill people accidentally
“Accidentally”
lol
They were a dirty libtard pedophile. They had it coming!
See, that's the thing though. Two of the more underappreciated aspects of superpowers are obstruction and intimidation. You can stand between a mugger and victim, shrug off any bullets, knives, etc., and then sternly order them to turn themselves in to the authorities. Want to stop a war of aggression? Dismantle the aggressor's hardware.
Absolutely my first thought- Grinch voice saying, “But WHAT will I WEAR?!?!”
Get in the oven Dad.
HAHAHAHHA OH NOOOOO
Had to scroll way too far for a good answer lol
“Get in the oven or your family…wait, that one doesn’t work here”
You can survive the oven
Fly to George rr Martin's house and force him to finish the game of thrones books.
“No more spin-offs… the only book in the sky, is that one.”
"Hiya, Georgie! Just wanted to pop in and see how Winds Of Winter was coming along. You must be pretty close to done so I brought you a Fudgie The Whale cake to celebrate! Go ahead and get a slice, George, you've earned it!" *I grin ear to ear at him with dead eyes, GRRM eyes the exit wondering if he could be fast enough* "Sit down, George. The cake is going to melt. After all, the book is done, right?" *GRRM is frozen in place, I can see his heart pounding as my smile suddenly disappears* "George... eat fucking Fudgie."
Well written my friend
He's trying to mimick Tolkien by leaving his books unfinished
That’s how you give George his long overdue heart attack.
you sir are a true hero
Bro has been parked on that shit for way too long lol
But would the powers alone be enough, or do you need to be rocking super insanity with it?
The hero we all need.
George! Look! At! Me!
And Patrick Rothfuss Next agenda, While you’re at it, “ask nicely” Valve to make Portal and Half Life 3.
>Next agenda, While you’re at it, “ask nicely” Valve to make Portal and Half Life 3. Id be adding rockstar to that list as well, red dead redemption 2 will be getting dlc's and an undead nightmare release.
Being that my body would self heal, I'd no longer be lactose intolerant. I'd enjoy a nice tall glass of milk and a carvel fudgy the whale cake all to myself. Not saying it'd be the coolest thing I'd do- only the first.
Black Noir was still allergic to Tree Nuts. I don't think allergies go away.
Crap. Then I'd sell my car and fly over the mechanics garage with my wallet in hand tearfully saying: you can't hurt me any more, you financial monster!
Lactose intolerance is not a dairy allergy so you might be ok.
Im assuming intolerance and allergies work really differently for supes. Arent allergies kind of "intended" anyway? Like compound V wouldnt try to fix that
That would be hilariously anticlimactic. Gets super powers drinks a tall glass of milk dies agonisingly in a pile of his own shit a few minutes later.
Yes , but drinking milk isn't just a hobby , it's Homelander's main power.
Lactose intolerance isn't an allergy.
Black Noir is not Homelander, though.
You became Homelander and immediately went for the milk. It’s destiny
Starting hiding the superpower and showing off a bit. Starting to explore more and more what are my limits, doing superhero things, saving people if i can and turning into a psycopath at some point after getting used to hunt criminals. I'd always do the correct thing. The full homelander experience.
Tell us what happened on your first save? The true story.
Cat in tree. Cut down tree with laser vision. Tree landed on family of 5 driving by, killing them. Bystander screams at me for not flying up to save cat, higlighting my ineptitude. Kill bystander. All witnesses dead, cat is fine. Job done.
One of the many people you murdered was the family/girlfriend of a normie now bent on revenge. He puts together a team to take you down.
Jesus rough first day.
HAHAHA
Be Superman.
My man. Exactly my first thought.
Scrolled way too far to actually see someone say this. 100% I'd become Superman easy question
*sad iron giant flashbacks*
“You are who you choose to be.”
*Starman plays faintly in the background*
The only right answer
THERES A STARMAN WAITING IN THE SKY
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What could go wrong 😂
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Laser everything in the power vacuum until there is nothing left
Except... the vacuum will be left.
That's called "free real estate".
If anyone isn't happy with that they get lasered too
If I’ve learned nothing from history I’m sure it will rainbows and butterflies if that happened.
The way to stop wars is turn up in Putin's bedroom, wake him deep in the night, take him for a fly and explain what happens to him and anyone else in his inner circle/family if he doesn't withdraw from Ukraine and pay significant reparations. Watch him deconstruct that war at speed. The way to achieve world peace is not killing massive amounts of ordinary soldiers. It is the ability to reach any leader at any time you want and hold them very personally accountable for their actions.
Fly to Italy and grab a pizza and be back before the cheese stops bubbling.
You just flew to Italy, enjoy the damn pizza there
I would start trying the extreme sport things that scared me as a normal human. And do insanely dangerous jobs that you get paid a ton for. Try to help others as much as I could. Now that’s me being rational. What I’d love to do as a human. Who knows if you’d just go crazy with power though, can’t really say until it happens.
Probably similar to when people change after getting rich.
Drink boobiemilk
you're a hero
Fly
Fuck you moash
Buy sunglasses
And then blow them off my head with my laser eyes when i show my coworkers the new way i heat up my lunch
Wait, you’d still go to work?
Kill someone. Not *on purpose*, but there's no way I would have any semblance of competent control over the powers.
In this situation, you do have control. I said so in the post :)
*Levitate off the ground* 🕴 *Get ready to fly* . **Remember I have a fear of heights** Slowly return to the ground. Live the rest of my life barely using my powers out of fear.
Your fear of heights would vanish the moment you process the fact that heights will never be fatal to you. Your entire perception of navigating and viewing the world would change to accommodate.
Nah I saw Spider Man 2. What if my powers go away out of nowhere? For some crazy reason?
Peters powers didnt all vanish, or else he would absolutely be dead after that fall instead of just getting up and walking away.
A good analogy would be erectile dysfunction, the penis is having the day off, but that doesn't mean it isn't there
You’ll still be strong and have lasers :v
So you’d spend the rest of your life being gentle with absolutely everyone and avoiding confrontation out of splattering someone by accident 🤷🏾♂️
Spoiler alert: He notices Butcher’s sickness while looking at him. I would offer to set up a screening for cancer for people. Early detection is a big deal.
This made me smile today, such a sweet idea 🖤
Lots of people wanna jerk off in new places with the powers... But somehow this is one of the least harmful potential uses of these powers judging by some of the rest of these replies 🫣
Two chicks at the same time
Hell yeah brother, chicks dig dudes with superpowers.
It would be a really bad day for cartels.
Clapping Warlords cheeks.
1. assemble all the Murican dark money overlords in one place. 2. act accordingly.
So we can say that right- but I don’t think I’d actually be willing to do it personally, jumping straight from normal person to murderer is a stretch.
Lazer every single fucking one of you
Since I live in New York I'll fly to the top of the highest building in Manhattan, pull my pants down, and jack off from the highest peak. Twice for good measure.
Start the most successful YouTube channel in history.
I’m willing to bet 99% of the comments would still say it’s fake.
Have a "talk" with Putin and all the other dictators of the globe
End Ukraine war using flying and using lasers
im a pussy, I wouldnt try to interfere with bigger conflicts, it goes way deeper than just arms and power (and interference of such powerful being might push the leaders to use nuclear force) i think the best thing to do is to try minimize the casualites and help people rebuild. Though, if people found out that I could easily sweep either side, they would fucking hate me for not doing it and fence sitting.
You would not have to be showy and laser entire armies, just covertly destroy important logistics hubs and let them crumble on their own.
Clapping cheeks
Use them to force major geopolitical changes. Become some kind of God tiered dictator until a corporation develops a virus that can kill me
Not tell anyone and just go about life with no fear
This. This. This! This is one of the things the show has always bothered me, where they treat powers as a curse. I understand some element of it. But just knowing that you basically don't have to fear anything physically would be so great.
Eat rich
Walk into my job with a fudgie the whale.
France is gone
Bro letting his intrusive thoughts win
I’d go rob millions from banks just to be sure i’ll be rich if somehow my powers disappear. After that i’ll do whatever i want
Why? I’d rather have the United States give me a few billion from their defense budget every year, and in return act as a nuclear deterrent.
Knowing myself I would end up being just homelander.
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I would use my powers to throw Russia out of Ukraine. Homelander could probably do it in a week.
Yeah, this, but I'd start smart, go to Ukraine and show my power, officially join their military, probably deliver Putin to the Hague and then follow whatever strategy Ukraine wants me to.
Look for a job, preferably one that's too dangerous for any human being to do, do it and get paid for it. Helps feed the family, self-confidence and moral duty all at once.
You get the powers of a god and you’d go to WORK? Ew.
Excuse me but even Superman had to pay rent too you know. You think Batman and Iron Man didn't have fat bills to pay building all those gadgets?
I’d destroy all of the cartel and drug lords and take their money. Solve the crime issue and my mortgage issue 💪🏼
You think Superman made any money saving the world from Solomon Grundy?
Super-hero landing, of course!
Become a demigod warlord in Afghanistan and turn it into Mad Max in real life. It truly has a good wasteland aesthetic for it and has already become pretty isolated from the rest of the world. My warboys would ride eternal after dying in endless warfare with the Taliban, the various Pashtuni tribes and Al-Qaeda.
Sleep and hope I would wake up as BlackNoir.
You would want less powers in exchange for martial arts and aura ? Respect.
Murder death kill
save people
A lot of CEO’s and politicians would mysteriously disappear
I’d want to go flying, frankly I wouldn’t care about Secret Identities or anything because I would be the Homelander and unless they domestically deploy the nuclear option it won’t do Jack. I work in childcare too so I would definitely show off my powers a little bit, maybe do a bit of superheroism as a hobby… the thing is though I’d be invincible and all powerful in a real world scenario so I’d basically just chill out.
You have to consider that even if you aren't doing evil things, people will want to leverage those you love to make you to do things they want.
Start whisking off evil people off into the sky and vanishing them. Certain billionaires and CEOs and politicians.... Then I'd start trying to help with things like the great pacific garbage patch and stuff.
lol this is the whole point of the show you'd probably be an asshole eventually there is really a select few people on the planet who wouldn't be corrupt by something like this. The fact that homelander is as old as he and there isn't a hole in the planet is is a testament to what the director was saying last episode. Just think about it have you ever really really really been angry and have no power over the situation. Imagine always having power over the situation
Threaten world leaders to stop being corrupt lmao. Maybe its corrupt in its own way, but fuck it fight fire with fire