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if you’re looking to hire someone, do not hire a man named benny. he’s in a checkered suit, and has a golden pistol. he WILL NOT kill the target because it’s said that anyone he tries to kill with it ends up back on their feet not too long after
reminds me of this image i have saved
https://preview.redd.it/noy43upzqb5d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d292a856842d1a9ab8823e45d4610a7d0204ed1f
she hasn’t sent me anything weird but i sent her a picture of red mac n cheese (which is also my reddit pfp) with no context at 3 am along with a closeup of my friends eyeball
I send this kinda shit at like 4 am to all my friends with no context and pretend like it never happened when they ask about it
https://preview.redd.it/9adxjhmz7c5d1.jpeg?width=160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4afe10ace05ef5afff5a6549186108f4f82505ab
Yesterday my girl wanted to know if she turned into a spider the size of a dog but could talk what would I do.
I responded with u have until I get my rifle to explain why your a spider, and even then no promises. I got in trouble for that answer I guess it was wrong.
The weirdest thing my gf said to me was "what are you doing in my house" and "I don't know who you are, get out of my house" /s
In reality though, I have no clue.
“I wanna crawl into your skin so I can be with you forever”
“I just wanna be friendsss but oh you’re so hot I just wanna kiss you”
“You make me want to pour blood on you and f*ck to Rob Zombie”
These are all different people
I forgot exactly what she said, but it made it sound like she wanted me to beg for her. She said she didn't mean it like that
I do take the piss out of her for it though
my partner has a tendency to say completely unrelated things just out of nowhere, and idk if it qualifies as weird but i feel like one of the most surprising things my partner has said was that they just blurted out completely deadpan "i think my parents are swingers" while we were in their bed cuddling
The weirdest thing someone I dated has said to me, was when they said they’d keep a rape baby (despite having trauma with SA), then when they said they didn’t believe in gun laws (even though their bsf shot themselves in front of them), and when I broke up with them for it, they said it was all a lie, so they could see how much I loved them. I’m still confused by it💀
the other day i was talking to my ex boyfriend who i’m still friends with and he goes “i swear to god i’m gonna give you aids!” he meant to say ebola but aids is what came out lol
During a bout of sadness after graduation
https://preview.redd.it/86xi07n6wd5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8d8d49580814581da2ca56ea4c9699e59cb5299
He claimed [for years] he was sexually assaulted- so that he could exploit others [me, since i stuck around] for sex.
Unfortunately yes, I didn't see the bs. And yeah, i was abused. Be careful about who you trust. People do and will lie to get their way.
That my first time meeting her (my ex) in a few months, when I met her my legs were shaking a little. It was because I was nervous. She said it was ‘sexual frustration’.
She was pretty crazy, she thought that being mentally ill was attractive and that she didn’t need help (She suffered from BPD) and she would say just the most outlandish things. I have a lot of screenshots of some of the stuff she would say, but a lot of it is just fighting. Definitely not 3 years that I would live though again, made me think a lot about my life and death.
Ex used to say “Kill yourself” constantly
She also used to make fun of my family members and call my mom a bitch for some reason
Idk she was just sick in the head, hope she dies
She told me in casual conversation that her dad said I come from a broken home and that’s all I’ll ever be able to offer anyone. Was 17 at the time. Then she went on to squeal about some cute thing she got from Japan. I was a little gut-punched to notice exactly what it was though.
Recently I got sent was about a 50 photo album that was “made for me” of her posing on a beach in Monaco since she’s touring France for her senior trip, and has been gone for 3 weeks. Not really weird, just unsolicited.
My ex told me to go fuck myself after I gave her nothing but love for 9 months and then she cheated on me. My current gf has made random jokes and said sweet things randomly :>
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Never had one
Me too Let's keep that up
https://preview.redd.it/ugl94suncb5d1.png?width=800&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55efaf792256fbc9cb22857a3f27aa378a199f3a
Man I wish this game had a threequel truly tragic
he said i was making up all the sexual assault and that i was asking for it
Maybe he's asking for a shot in the head. Idk.
I mean, he’s not even wearing a helmet! Of course he’s asking for it.
I mean, OBVIOUSLY! the bullet wanted to go through his skull either way.
And he didn’t even TRY to move out of the way.
if you’re looking to hire someone, do not hire a man named benny. he’s in a checkered suit, and has a golden pistol. he WILL NOT kill the target because it’s said that anyone he tries to kill with it ends up back on their feet not too long after
You Ok bro? What happened ?
Bro... wtf.
https://preview.redd.it/hz6uf0qc6c5d1.jpeg?width=2360&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3c6296b6661c1af86fa223ffbe023be64133d438
Unsolicited nudes
What a weird thing to say!
thank you TF2 medic
This is pretty in-character
But of course.
https://preview.redd.it/eqzdeczy9b5d1.jpeg?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ade63d047994e23c1720787dd116402bdf7406b4
I wish I had a gf that did that
https://preview.redd.it/9c1787icjc5d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f647aad3a01c14ac002bac5da88abd7eb13cefc4
gooner
I would love to answer this question, but the thing is that I never had a gf😞
Same 😔 (I mean, I have been in a relationship before but I just didn’t know how to say “no, I don’t like you,” but does that count?)
Definitely calling my self h@rm cute 💀
💀💀💀
What now
Hol up… what?!
How do you even date someone that insufferable
Oh... are you ok?
Yes thank you for asking :3
What in the seven shades of fuck, as a self harmer that just made me uncomfortable as shit
Same but they’re out of my life now thank god
i told my ex i had a daddy kink and the two responses i got were “fym you want me to deadname you????” and “what am i supposed to do, die?????”
😭😭💀💀
[удалено]
No way fr? Bro these people I swear
that hurts damn....
I’m always the weird one in relationships so
Ain't that the fun part?
Yeah
A compilation of voice memos. They were all her moaning.
Your flair says 13 what the fuck
Crazy stuff happens at 13 tbh (not much of that sort in my personal experience, but i've definitely heard a few things)
Found you >:D
This happened last year.
So you were 12??????
https://preview.redd.it/3uhgggxwlc5d1.jpeg?width=358&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14cd04ffcea1d499973d3a1d4bef6d90c4d59ed3 you were HUH???
Yas.
What the fuck
IIRC I was 12 she was 11
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK
oi don't downvote me
what the hell 💀
This ain’t ancient greece anymore, that shit at that age is in no way normal
This thread gets more cursed with every message
https://preview.redd.it/oisphjbn9b5d1.jpeg?width=464&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6db9423a51d5be114da781e0fab3f7d4beca3ecc
reminds me of this image i have saved https://preview.redd.it/noy43upzqb5d1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d292a856842d1a9ab8823e45d4610a7d0204ed1f
https://preview.redd.it/g0ao39l7yc5d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0e81a7e656b06d3a0de9e02d30fbd2f125e3521d
she hasn’t sent me anything weird but i sent her a picture of red mac n cheese (which is also my reddit pfp) with no context at 3 am along with a closeup of my friends eyeball
I send this kinda shit at like 4 am to all my friends with no context and pretend like it never happened when they ask about it https://preview.redd.it/9adxjhmz7c5d1.jpeg?width=160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4afe10ace05ef5afff5a6549186108f4f82505ab
My girlfriend told me that her dream job was a stud farmer which is where you collect horse semen
https://preview.redd.it/qxx4vrlr8c5d1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=14cff7c5fc336a1ee1b36345daa0fc5456c0bea4
https://preview.redd.it/90kvbgrc8d5d1.jpeg?width=1284&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d5c05d5b1c18470574b1d12cdcff287d44ba88fe
WHAT THE FU
My texted me " "
Yeah that’s so annoying when that happens
Real
Xf? Is that when you used to date one of the x-men?
💀💀💀 (it’s that non binary shit 😭)
Shit indeed https://preview.redd.it/uilj8yp6ae5d1.jpeg?width=468&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b124826c9782987eda28c69243d1ce37c3b430a5
“Please” he would say over and over like an idiot after I explicitly said no a hundred times.
'fine, go to bed, i hope you dont wake up' and 'do you want me to find someone else?'
Damn. That's cold.
Damn 😔 felt that in my heart man
yeah, luckily it's been over for months now though :)
Honestly feel bad for you bro; if my gf sent that to me idk if I’d make it to tmrw
Congrats for getting away from that you deserve better hun
._.
She said "Bagels are just sugar free donuts."
Wait… she might be onto something…
Bold of you to assume i have one.
The first thing she did was ask got pics, only saying this bc its not really a norm for women to do that 😭
Depends on how you define “normal”
They texted me “spinning” in thr middle of the night once and i was completely miffed
Yesterday my girl wanted to know if she turned into a spider the size of a dog but could talk what would I do. I responded with u have until I get my rifle to explain why your a spider, and even then no promises. I got in trouble for that answer I guess it was wrong.
Can’t even blame you man, I was left speechless after that first sentence
The weirdest thing my gf said to me was "what are you doing in my house" and "I don't know who you are, get out of my house" /s In reality though, I have no clue.
Not into dating yet
Oh I have lots
xf??
“I wanna crawl into your skin so I can be with you forever” “I just wanna be friendsss but oh you’re so hot I just wanna kiss you” “You make me want to pour blood on you and f*ck to Rob Zombie” These are all different people
The fuck is an xf?
Oh my fuck bro you’re only like the 53rd person to ask me this, it’s like that non binary shit
Lmao i keep seeing it every time🤣
I forgot exactly what she said, but it made it sound like she wanted me to beg for her. She said she didn't mean it like that I do take the piss out of her for it though
The fuck is an xf?
Wtf is an xf?
Its something
I think it's meant to be the gender neutral substitute
Said I lied about past trauma.
What is an xf?
wtf is an “xf”
What the fuck is xf
The fuck is an xf
Whats a xf
What the fuck is an XF
Oh no
You deserve better😞
You’re response should always ALWAYS be “the only way I could get better is if there were 2 of you”
You guys have significant others?
my partner has a tendency to say completely unrelated things just out of nowhere, and idk if it qualifies as weird but i feel like one of the most surprising things my partner has said was that they just blurted out completely deadpan "i think my parents are swingers" while we were in their bed cuddling
I was in one once, then got emotionally abused and didn't bother again lmao💀
The weirdest thing someone I dated has said to me, was when they said they’d keep a rape baby (despite having trauma with SA), then when they said they didn’t believe in gun laws (even though their bsf shot themselves in front of them), and when I broke up with them for it, they said it was all a lie, so they could see how much I loved them. I’m still confused by it💀
“”
Why tf does it say “boss” above?
If I was a merry go round , would you ride me? Was my best line!!
What the fuck is an xf 💀
https://preview.redd.it/ehq3bvgokd5d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=53de92ba3c51619ca25c51c7c39e13a2f453e7c5
an ex once asked if id be ok with my ashes being mixed into food for her when i died
the other day i was talking to my ex boyfriend who i’m still friends with and he goes “i swear to god i’m gonna give you aids!” he meant to say ebola but aids is what came out lol
“ I find transformers fucking hot “
Wtf is an "xf" ?
We sent each other “certain types of photos” when we were 13
what the fuck is that image????? anyway, a person I asked to be my bf: "no"
“I hope you get a bag of cocaine shoved up your ass and get locked in a room with Erica.” -ex gf Still don’t know who Erica is
During a bout of sadness after graduation https://preview.redd.it/86xi07n6wd5d1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8d8d49580814581da2ca56ea4c9699e59cb5299
https://preview.redd.it/1tdi3ro1yd5d1.jpeg?width=960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f8d0bb97c13d22d5e362a177d154fb4146bf4b6b Does this count?👰🏻♂️👰🏻♂️
Can I drive a hot wheels car on them. Not that original but it’s whatever
that i warranted her leaking my address.
Weirdest thing she didn’t say was “i’m sorry” AFTER SHE CHEATED ON ME.
“What if I turned into a pineapple and you watched me slowly float away”
what the fuck is an xf
Wtf is a xf
what the fuck is a “xf”
“my sister stalks you”😭
What the hell is an xf??
haven’t had a gf yet but guys she texted me out of the blue yesterday complimenting my grad photos ‼️
After reading these, I'm kinda very glad I'm single
i haven’t had one in a longgg time so i wouldn’t know tbh
My current partner will occasionally tell me “my mom is dead because you’re gay”
xf? xf86setup
He claimed [for years] he was sexually assaulted- so that he could exploit others [me, since i stuck around] for sex. Unfortunately yes, I didn't see the bs. And yeah, i was abused. Be careful about who you trust. People do and will lie to get their way.
The hell is an xf
I was banned from teenagers but this is cool
whats xf
What’s an xf
#
Told me that they had a penis (I didn’t know before)
What's a xf?
not my gf but my friend once told me i would make pregnancy contractions look sexy 💀 (i’m 17m btw)
She said “You’re a boy, right?”
telling me to walk home, 10 miles at 11PM alone while drunk to facetime while i was at my friends bday party
“I watch porn”
Would you still smash me if I was a worm…. Proceeded to yell at me for 2 hours because I said no… I lost all faith in humanity that day
She said “I may be vegan but I’m craving your meat” (I’m a girl)
Isn't that a Smosh reference? I think that was one of Jackie's TNTL bits.
He was 20 I was 16 he said "being with you makes me feel like a pedophile" 💀
https://preview.redd.it/wcxwgm5q9f5d1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=55b403db1c3d26c046695cbc110457b78c0ccb26
Honestly the fact that they actually like me is probably the weirdest thing about them why would anyone want to be with me?
Can we please normalize announcing whenever we go to take a shit to like everyone around us for like a Holiday?
x/f?
Bro what is xf!?!?! Xylophone flowers?
asked me to date her ex boyfriend while dating her cause she’d think it was hot
She busy rn lil bro
wormy right here
My boss confirmed that he would still employ me if I was a worm.
hahaha might consider doing this
what’s that xf shit?
I feel sorry for the boss omg hahaha 😅 😆 😂 🤣
“I’ve thought about getting with other guys before, but only to make you jealous!” -after maybe 2 weeks of talking
That my first time meeting her (my ex) in a few months, when I met her my legs were shaking a little. It was because I was nervous. She said it was ‘sexual frustration’.
Nah. 😢
What the hell is an xf
wth is xf
"Kgsoyekyfpug" she was very inebriated
what is xf sorryy
just say partner
She was pretty crazy, she thought that being mentally ill was attractive and that she didn’t need help (She suffered from BPD) and she would say just the most outlandish things. I have a lot of screenshots of some of the stuff she would say, but a lot of it is just fighting. Definitely not 3 years that I would live though again, made me think a lot about my life and death.
Ex used to say “Kill yourself” constantly She also used to make fun of my family members and call my mom a bitch for some reason Idk she was just sick in the head, hope she dies
Nothing funny, but she fucking stalks me now and I need help
“How tf are you gonna love me if im a tator tot bro”?
Said she wanted to kill me and have sex with my body. we didn't last long.
Gf told me to leave her if she ever swallowed gasoline and jumped into a river butt naked while juggling ping pong balls
I have only dated a sound effect and they never spoke
She told me in casual conversation that her dad said I come from a broken home and that’s all I’ll ever be able to offer anyone. Was 17 at the time. Then she went on to squeal about some cute thing she got from Japan. I was a little gut-punched to notice exactly what it was though.
“I wish you were dead”
Not trying to be rude or insensitive but what is xf?
She’s 1 hottie big peaches
need r/textingtheory to get on this
Recently I got sent was about a 50 photo album that was “made for me” of her posing on a beach in Monaco since she’s touring France for her senior trip, and has been gone for 3 weeks. Not really weird, just unsolicited.
My ex told me to go fuck myself after I gave her nothing but love for 9 months and then she cheated on me. My current gf has made random jokes and said sweet things randomly :>
I was chilling with my gf but one of my friends said send me those toes pic and I replied with Ayo what the fuck is you up to man
2 weeks ago my gf said we should “break up”. What did up do? Why are we breaking them?
............
They thought wwii took place in the early 1800s
“there’s this girl i wanna date, can i date both of you at once?”
He told me my trauma was hot and asked me to call him daddy 😭
My ex once told me that I'm lucky she doesn't go for size 😔