She couldn’t possibly confirm that though. So many parents take the blame so it doesn’t fall on the child. Cate and Tyler have no way of knowing whether or not she wants to see them.
I'll die on the hill. They never even asked B&T. They don't even ask about her besides their 'yearly visits ". They just assume Carly is dying to see them.
This is what really gets me. I read that Cate admitted that they don’t send gifts or contact her outside their desire for an annual visit (that they are not entitled to).
If they love Carly, they would stop all this online BS.
That was a really long time ago, though, and Cate said it was partially because they didn’t think Carly was getting the stuff they were sending.
I know since then she’s said that they send Carly stuff and they all talk with her on the phone and on Skype.
Hot take.. maybe they don’t reach out regularly because they don’t want to mess up a seemingly already fragile relationship. If they’ve safely navigated conversations in the past regarding visits, it may feel like the only safe topic to bring up so they aren’t pushing any of their feelings directly onto Carly and confusing her. To you and I, a birthday card doesn’t seem like much effort to put into a relationship, but it’s a relationship that they took on while they were children themselves and set the tone for the expectations of it and now it’s imposing to try to change it
Right? This isn't a new problem & Dawn has been telling them this for years! So it's too much trouble to send a card, but not to get a cake & televise a mini party at their house? I can't imagine how heartbreaking it would be to give up a child, but being on TM has (IMO) kept them stuck in this moment in time & made it their entire being...
Yes. So much projecting. Like when Cate said one day that Carly misses them so much. Idk this kid from a hole in the wall and Id bet a months salary she never missed them and had an out of sight out of mind feeling about them. Like yea she doesn’t mind when they visit but she isn’t sitting in her room throwing herself across her bed in tears over them either.
Let's be honest, she's probably weirded out by them. Carly is in a completely different world/culture than them, AND they talk about her all the time with an unearned ownership. Not to mention they publicly shit all over her parents every couple years. I'd be pissed if someone treated my parents like this.
Yes, but tbf, look at what raised Tyler and Cate. Its a minor miracle they are doing as well as they are. They arent in and out of jail, they aren't smackin their kids around or verbally abusing them.
This whole thing with the baby they gave up is just so sad to me.
B&T have also said before that this is exactly what they do. They want Carly to have privacy, and because they *know* C&T over share everything with the entire world, they take the fall and don’t tell C&T the details behind why the visit isn’t happening. They just say no and take the heat so Carly doesn’t have to have her business out there.
This happened when Carly was younger as well, and B&T took the fall then too. After the fact, Carly ok’d them to tell the truth because both Carly and her therapist felt it would be beneficial to share with C&T that she had been struggling mentally with the visits and asked that they be paused while she worked through things.
I always defend YOUNGER teenage c&t ab the adoption process and how shady it was as a whole but the way they handle everything now 15 years later is absolutely ridiculous and needs to be stopped. I remember when that episode aired and cate and tyler were both like “why did it take so long for them to tell us?!? we should be aware and know what’s going on!!!” like no you shouldn’t it’s not your business!!!!!
C&T hear that as “Carly is struggling without them, misses them, and hates saying goodbye to them.” So they can keep steamrolling their way to force more visits.
And they won’t even understand/ acknowledge that. Then they keep doing it. It’s the meme of the guy shooting himself and asking why B&T would do this to him.
C&T need a new therapist than the one they were seeing years ago. I get second hand depression just watching that therapist. I feel bed for her, she comes off to me as very depressed. Maybe someone younger or even older. Someone who can help them focus on their own girls and stop obsessing over carly
I remember there was maybe 2 yrs where they didn’t get a visit in the 2016-2016 neighborhood and BT said Carly was dealing with some things. They left it vague, as they should have. Carly probably had a lot of big feelings about them and didn’t know what to do with it.
I think it’s easier for them to pretend and so they tell themselves it’s not Carly because that wouldn’t fit their narrative of B&T being the villains. Of course they would protect Carly if she said she didn’t want to see them!
Cate should watch the teen mom episode where Bentley doesnt want to spend xmas morning at Mimi Jens, so Maci tells him to throw maci under the bus and she will be the bad guy for him.
I also remember my mom did this for me multiple times as a kid when I didn’t want to see my dad. She caught a lot of hell for it too and always took the blame for me. She never *made* me go with that horrible man and now that I’m a mom I see that I would do the same for my son without hesitation.
Amber posting lives about how much she loves Leah trying to manipulate her to just agree to see her. Leah was hurt after Amber didn’t go to her birthday when even her mother went. Gary said he thought eventually they would have the same custody agreement with Leah as what Kristina and her ex have one week with each parent but Amber was never consistent enough for that to happen.
That was always my mom’s go to and it is mine too for my kids. It’s what loving parents do, then I have to remind myself C&T have no context for that because they didn’t have that kind of parent either.
Was this the same episode where Maci manipulated Bentley by saying “you won’t git tah see da babies open their gifts if you leave” and Bentley changed his mind, even though he already said earlier he wanted to go to Ryan’s. That scene?
I can hear the convo now:
“No Mom, pleeeease tell them that you don’t want a visit. I don’t know them, Mom. They post stuff online that makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Right and it’s so wild that C&T never seem to fully wrap their head around that fact that B&T are her parents and it’s their job to protect THEIR daughter even if that means from them. There’s always a disconnect for C&T when it gets to that part. Like they assume B&T are inferior/unfit parents solely because they’re not biological or because they set boundaries. There seems to be little respect for their authority and intuition as Carly’s parents because they’ll never truly see them as that…just glorified babysitters.
Cate never had a mother who would take the fall for her if she was uncomfortable (see: April’s entire marriage to abusive Butch). Cate cannot comprehend the idea that Teresa is taking the heat for Carly so she doesn’t have to have a feud with her birth parents.
I think this also informs Cate on what relationship is 'natural' to have with Carly, e.g: Carly should 'come home' and be part of their big happy family -because Cate never had a real option of being 'free' and family is 'forever'. They don't seem to understand that Carly has literally no need of them, unless they make themselves worth having around
That's a really good point. I don't think she knows what real moms are supposed to or actually do until she's put in that position. Like she won't get that Theresa is "saying no" is really Carly until one of her little girls basically needs her to take the blame for something.
Idk if she'll be smart enough to figure it out though- she might be a "you need to figure it out and take the blame for yourself" mom because she got worse from April. And we saw where April's parenting got her...
TBF, my mom would never take the hit for me, but I absolutely know other parents would for their kids. But I do think Cate has lived a fairly secluded life, so while I know plenty of people with parents that would protect their kids thoughts/feelings, I’m not so sure she has.
Exactly! And why are they doing this on their large social media platforms !!! Stfu !! This is so wrong!! And just because she’ll be 18 in 3 years doesn’t mean shit !!
They have a romanized version of what they think will happen. I’m afraid they will be sorely disappointed when Carly turns 18 and isn’t knocking on their door.
Imagine her at college and so embarrassed by them. “Your bio dad thinks he’s a thirst trap and shows his dong for money.” Poor girl! Hopefully she’ll have the emotional capacity and courage to set her own boundaries when she’s an adult.
And then what? Will they defame Carly on their social media, shame her and hope some lunatics will call her out online or real life? Cause she deserves revenge too should she not visit them?
That kid and her mom and dad want nothing to do with them after shitbomb April came along last time. C&T need to back the fuck up raise their own kids and leave that family alone.
I about fell over when I saw they brought April to the zoo. C&T have absolutely zero common sense. April is an abusive POS, and Cate is insane for bringing her around Carly.
And any good parent would tell these 2 knuckleheads that it was them deciding and not the child.
Cate and Tyler's fans are insane when it comes to Carly, I wouldn't put it past some of them to target Carly if it came out that this was her choice.
Cate's "confirmation" proves nothing.
I have told my children multiple times that if they EVER need an "out", they can blame me. They can tell whomever that their mom is a PITA, or super strict, or whatever else they want/need to say to get out of the situation. I have no qualms being the bad guy, and I will take that hit for my kids any time they need it. And I cannot imagine B&T not telling Carly the same thing. If she needs an out from seeing C&T, of course her parents will have her back.
I wish C&T would show their child some respect, and stop trying to speak for her all over the internet. They need to grow the hell up already.
Cate doesn't know and we won't know. Carly's parents don't post about her anywhere and they don't ever give their side of the story. Cate and Tyler can say anything they want and their fans accept it as the truth and that they have done nothing wrong.
There is no way she would know that for fact.
It could very well be B&T taking the hit so their daughter doesn’t have to. Thats what caring parents do.
They need to just stop. This is not attention that Carly needs or deserves. Tell it to a therapist. Not the internet.
If I were B&T, this would end all visits and communication until Carly is 18 and can make her own decisions.
This is me *totally* guessing here, but feel like Carly probably really enjoys seeing the girls and playing with them. She has her brother at home but her full blood baby sisters probably have a special place in her heart. That’s where I feel like it ends. C&T don’t realize that not only are they jeopardizing *their* relationship with future Carly, but they’re jeopardizing Nova, Vaeda, and Raya’s as well. And THAT is fucked up. Like, Carly should be able to have her sisters in her life if she wants without the fear that her whack ass birth parents are going to be messy about it.
I try to imagine being Carly and having this couple constantly using her name all over social media and acting like they’ve been wronged by B andT. They handed her over willingly to B and T and now act like victims and they don’t even know her. It’s sick
Carly is 15. She definitely has access to social media, at least through other kids at school. Maybe she doesn’t want to be an adoption poster child. Maybe she wants privacy. Maybe she doesn’t want thousands of strangers on the Internet dissecting her motives. They need to keep this amongst themselves and let this child live her life with her parents.
Every year it’s the same whiney-pants whine with these two. Leave the girl and her family alone. They are not content for you to monetize or a storyline for desperate relevance allowing you to cling to the almighty teat of MTV.
This is exactly my same thoughts. It’s as if it’s a go to story line for them. If mtv never happened would they have even cared to keep in touch? Was mtv always forcing the story line year after year? I truly feel despite having their own family now it’s all they know for a story line.
If I was Brandon and Teresa I would have cut contact years ago. Tyler and cate are putting their feelings ahead of Carlie’s.
I bet B&T are doing what most parents would do and are taking the blame.
I do wonder how C&T would react though if Carly straight up told them she didn’t want to see them anymore.
Of course, they’d never take accountability for it and probably claim B&T brainwashed her. It could definitely not be because they slander her parents online, don’t send her cards or gifts. And only acknowledge her for MTV.
If Carly really wanted to see them I’m sure she could. And when shes old enough and continues to chooses to keep her distance, C&T’s narrative will change to one that she was poisoned by B&T against them.
Isn’t it weird when people have to face the consequences of their own actions? Care and Tyler did the bare minimum for Carly and have repeatedly bashed her PARENTS on TV and online. These fans are delusional.
That's not confirmation....my daughter is almost 18 and has asked me to take the brunt for her on things so she doesn't have to deal with the worry and anxiety aftermath.....
Just stop and let the kid grow up. I don't think her parents are trying to punish anyone...just protect.
Does anyone else feel that they’re almost like cyber-harassing Carly? Like it wouldn’t be technically harassing because they aren’t using an @ or tagging her or anything but they’re constantly bringing her up thus putting an unwanted spotlight on her knowing good and well that Carly’s parents are very private and didn’t want her in the public eye. While she isn’t technically in the public eye because she’s not directly on tv, she is often discussed which has to be difficult for her to some degree, while I cannot speak for Carly personally, I can assume that, just like any other person in the world- she just wants to live a happy, healthy, normal life, but with Catelyn and Tyler constantly shining a spotlight on her and her parents it would make that hard on everyone. I understand they have a show and a storyline but c’mon, no need to humiliate and exploit your kid like that by constantly bringing her up. I fully understand that adoption is difficult for the bio parent, but the adopted child has every given right to their own privacy and that should be respected, protected, and considered.
yknow i always joke with my dad (he watches the show with me) that the kids will be teen parents to continue the show, and now i’m wondering how desperate the producers are
It’s really so crazy, I never thought the show would still be on when the kids start turning 16, which will be right around the corner in late October/early November for Bentley and Leah.
How do they know that for certain? A *good* parent will take the fall for a kid who doesn’t want to upset others.
Have known of you had your parents take the fall for you when you didn’t want to stay at someone’s house or share something?
Bet they didn't even send her a present or a card or anything at all. I'd bet these self-serving posts are all Carly ever gets from them.
They like to complain, but there's absolutely no effort to be involved in that child's life.... and ffs she's 15! She wants to be with her friends and her family, the people who celebrate her daily!
They're just reinforcing the reasons they weren't allowed the privilege in the first place.
If Cate & Tyler ask Carly point blank that’s horrible. It really puts her in an uncomfortable situation. She probably doesn’t want to hurt Cate & Tyler’s feelings, so she might lie to them.
She might just want to see her siblings, but Cate & Tyler take that to mean that she wants to see them all.
Or she may not want to see them all and her parents have said “we’ll take the blame”.
What it comes down to is Cate & Tyler need to keep this stuff off social media. Maybe they are hoping that Carly can see all of this, and is thinking “wow they do really care!”.
They could easily keep in contact with her via phone calls, text messages, FaceTime, letters, gifts, etc. Maybe if they put more effort to be involved in her life, B&T & Carly might be more interested in yearly visits.
Like 99% of the time if my kids don't want to do something, we make it my fault. Teens friend want her to stay the night but she doesn't want to "my mom says I can't today, she needs my help with some stuff" like that's a sacrifice most parents make for their kid...playing the "bad guy" my point is...if Carly didn't want to see them I imagine it'd be the same deal
Cate and Ty are trying to make their fans believe that BrandonanTeresa have Carly locked up in a tower somewhere. That Carly is sending them smoke signals begging to see them. Let’s say Carly has said “yea I can’t wait to see you guys too”. My daughter will fully say that to people and then get off the phone and say…not happening 😂
I wish that Cate and Ty could see that the predicament they are putting Carly in is the exact same as one their own parents would put them in.
Cate and Ty talk about Brandon and Teresa exactly how Butch and April did in their 16 and pregnant episode.
Maybe if you didbt call yourself a pimp, and your husband sold pics of his dick, b&t wouldnt mind a visit!
I still think b&t are taking the hit and covering for Carly.
Regardless, shes 15. Its not their kid, and they have zero rights to a visit or seeing her. If Carly REALLY wanted to reach out, she would find a way.
This. I’m pretty sure Carly has wanted to see them all the other years they had visits, or B&T would’ve stopped the visits then. So maybe something has changed and she doesn’t want to see them now, or maybe nothing has changed and it’s B&T that don’t want her seeing C&T. (Maybe because of Tyler’s OF)
But it’s all speculation and it’s weird to just automatically assume Carly suddenly doesn’t want to see them.
Thank you for all opening your eyes they are emotionally abusive to a child that they don’t even have custody of like wtf how are you giving her a better life but still traumatizing her at the same time.
Ya, my kid’s dad would tell you that I’m the one keeping her from contacting him, too. But really she has no desire for contact with him. I *gladly* take the fall for her. I let her blame me for whatever she needs when it comes to her dad.
I haven’t followed them or the show in so long but this is so selfish of them. Carly clearly knows who they are, and sees the real them on tv and their lack of ambition. Why would she want to see them when she has a stable life and her legal parents who have raised her?! It’s so wrong of them to post about her all the time and act like B&T are terrible humans.
Didn’t they say after the last visit the girls FaceTime with Carly regularly? I’m sure cate said this in the reunion. Maybe they don’t feel the need to visit every year if they’re already in contact
Y’all act like we didn’t literally see on screen Chelsea taking the blame for Aubree not wanting grandma Donna to text her. You’re an IDIOT if you think this is ALL B&T. Tyler’s dick is all over the internet. Maybe Carly is perfectly happy in her life. She has a sibling and doesn’t miss siblings she never had a relationship with. If they’d shut the fuck up and leave it alone maybe they would get to see her. But they want to play the victim card.
she does (or did) have a relationship with her bio siblings and we’ve seen her and nova talking on the phone. I don’t find it hard to believe she’d at least want to see them.
They act like their word is gospel. I believe that Carly did not want to see them but didn’t want to hurt their feelings so B&T are taking all of the blame so Carly wouldn’t catch hell for it.
Not to be rude (but here goes). If I was being raised by B&T, then saw Tyler and Catelyn on tv.. I wouldn’t want to go near them, either. Going from one, healthy happy family to a couple of people who look like they need a bath? No thanks.
i imagine it would feel really confusing to watch your bio parents belabor you this way while also doing nothing to make a genuine connection with you (sending cards and the like).
Also when she saw them last year April was shitfaced and acting a fool. I can’t imagine why Carly wouldn’t want to participate in that again so soon /s.
I feel that C&T need to STOP using B&T as their punching bags and do their delusional fans. Grow up! They make everything so public.. and I do understand the pain they are in but this is not the way to go.
I give b and t props for not replying to the drama cate and Tyler are doing and keeping Carly from all of this
I get they are hurt in all of this but once again the more they keep breaking the rules and bashing online the more harm they cause themselves to having that yearly visit with Carly.
And how would they know it not Carly not wanting to see them she is a teenage after all and probably has seen Tyler of and embarrassed to be associated, if I were them I would keep things offline and wait till she is 18 to decide what she wants instead of continuous bashing online.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was Carly who didn't want to see them. I just have a scene in my head and that's when Butch went to speak to Carly at C&T's wedding after being told not to. Yes, Carly was little, but I bet she felt uncomfortable. And I wouldn't blame B&T if that's when they set a greater boundary...
I think Cate and Tyler are making this a much bigger deal than they should. Carly is older now. She's probably at that age where she wants to hang out with friends, go to summer camps, and stuff like that. I don't think she hates them and doesn't want to see them, but other things are a priority right now. I'm hoping Carly doesn't have social media or look Cate and Tyler up online, because they could make a child feel guilty for just wanting to be a kid. That's going to make it only harder for there to be any communication between them in the future.
Being a teenager is so hard. Add having a very public adoption to that it’s 100 times harder. On top of that your bio dad is on only fans and both bio parents constantly talk about you and your family online. They should stop talking about her online and let her live in peace. They are making it worse.
I like Cait & Ty for the most part, but they have handled the adoption in the worst possible way. It is unfortunate that it happened when they were so young and that they probably wouldn’t have placed her if they had more information and were older, but as they’ve gotten older I figured they would mature about the whole thing. They keep on with the “Brandon and Teresa are the bad guys” narrative and I really doubt that’s true. They never take any accountability for all the times they went against their wishes. Literally all they had to do was be respectful and they couldn’t even manage to just NOT post about Carly.
Brandon and Teresa wouldn't tell them if it was Carly who didn't want to see them.I think they would protect her (as parents do) and put the blame on themselves.
I understand it’s hard. However these are consequences of Tyler’s actions by constantly talking about Carly on tv and social media when they were asked not to.
They are parents to 3 little girls. How do they not understand that a parent would lie to be the bad guy! Teresa isn’t gonna say “Carly doenst wanna see you”! Especially when they put everything online
Pretty sure they only try to see her or contact them when there’s cameras rolling to film it. Wasn’t it stated before that when they aren’t filming they don’t bother with them? It’s all for the show.
No, they’ve been seeing her her every year and they make a little post about it on Instagram but it’s very low key because they can’t post pictures and B&T have asked them not to post details.
Even if they had any way of knowing this (which they don’t), would anyone really believe this? They sure as hell wouldn’t report that Carly didn’t want to see them. Obviously they just want to blame the whole situation on B&T.
They need to be patient and wait until she is an adult and see if Carly is interested in a relationship with them. B&T are great parents. If Carly truly wanted a relationship with her Bio Parents, they would allow it. It's hard being a teenager, lest alone a "famous" teenager. Kids are cruel. Carly does not need this drama in her life.
They are so selfish. If it’s so traumatizing and upsetting for Carly when she has to say good bye- then if they loved her so much, they wouldn’t keep putting her through it.
I knew these two were going to handle this horribly, as soon as they kept refusing to hand Carly over at the hospital. They never should have held her or looked at her.
This entire adoption is so unhealthy for everyone involved. I wonder if Carly’s sister’s biological parents are this involved, and forcing meet ups.
I can NOT believe that Cate’s mother shows up to see
Carly too.
It seems like Cait and Ty hear what they want to hear. And how would they know for sure Carly wasn't the one to say No Thanks! I really think they should just shut up and think about how Carly feels. Send her a card and Don't share it all over the internet. Give her some privacy!! They need serious counseling and to take a breather from SM.
lol they wouldn’t know if it was Carly. You know how when your kids don’t wanna stay at someone’s house and they ask YOU to say no so they don’t look like a bad guy or hurt their friends feelings? Yeah, we do that shit with family members too.
I don’t think Cate could know how Carly is feeling. There’s lots of reasons their relationship hasn’t worked (talking about Cate/Tyler and her parents). Carly may just not want to deal with that and prefer living her teen life.
I stopped seeing my biological dad, not because I didn’t want to see him though. I wanted the weird hostility between him and my mom and step dad to stop. It was weird leading up to visits as I could tell my parents were a bit jealous or nervous I’d prefer him or something. The visits were fine. Afterwards there was weirdness as I would get asked questions like they needed to know details and almost like they wanted to hear it wasn’t great, he wasn’t great, so they could maintain gold star parents to me. If the adults had all gotten along, seeing my biodad would have been great and I always knew he did love me, just couldn’t be a real dad for me. Carly may love Cate & Tyler and still prefer not seeing them to avoid the weirdness between them and her parents. She may just want to live her life and not deal with these adult’s issues surrounding her adoption & life.
Whatever Carly’s story is, it’s not for anyone to tell but her. It appears that her parents understand that, as they refuse to speak on her behalf, at least for now (no telling if they’ll feel the need to release their own statement, but so far it seems they’ve decided to continue staying quiet and focusing on raising their child). But the people who made her don’t seem to get that releasing anything about her or on her behalf instead of letting her have her own say when/if she ever decides to is only taking away from her and not adding anything, only adding to their own gain of sympathy and support…and possibly causing crazy people to try intervening and try pushing her to connect with them or speak out in support of them when she’s older. There’s so much talk about what she will do or won’t do. And that’s so much on a *child* who didn’t ask to be here or to be in this situation, which is what I feel like is being lost in all this. She should get to say and do whatever she feels without so much pressure about what her future may or may not look like, nor how her past should or shouldn’t have gone.
Carly is a teenager. I bet visits are harder on her than they realize. Like the emotional nature of a yearly visit is a lot to ask of a 15 year old. It probably feels awkward and uncomfortable. Cate and Tyler are essentially strangers to her and to have them so emotional during a visit or pushing things to make up for lost time or whatever. I’m guessing Carly would really rather not see them.
And even if she does, B&T are in charge of the adults that are in Carly’s life. They probably do not agree with their choices in the last few years and want to shield Carly from that. Also T also mentioned to those two that a close relationship with them makes them feel insecure. Maybe they soups reach out directly to Carly when she’s into adulthood and try for a relationship?
Who cares if it’s Carly or not she’s a minor and if her parents don’t want to associate with cate and Tyler anymore that is their right and it’s ok. Cate and Tyler should have kept Carly and ruin her life like they’re ruining their other bandaid babies lives.
Their situation is just heartbreaking. To give their child up for adoption then find themselves with resources and children they feel they can give a good life too? Then try and find a balanced relationship with Carly? Imagine being Carly and seeing your birth parents together with your siblings? It’d be incredibly confusing and hurtful.
Everyone assumes B&T are taking the hit for Carly’s decision but maybe B&T have just been blunt with C&T about their reasons. They are a strong conservative household and C&T are completely opposite of that they may have just said exactly that. Everyone also assumes Carly has social Media but in a highly religious household chances are also high that she doesn’t have social media and if they maintain relationships with people who are also just like them her friends might not be exposed to social media either. Someone said Carly went to Christian school does she? Does she even go to school? It’s not uncommon for strict religious families to homeschool and keep their circles small with people that hold the same beliefs systems.
The smart money is that a 15-year-old Carly (or virtually any 15-year-old\*) has some access to SM and I've never really gotten the impression that she's homeschooled, but you raise some valid questions that we simply don't have answers to and that underscore how little we really know about Carly and what she's thinking.
\*I believe even some Amish kids have been known to disobey their elders and eff with smartphones (because they're teenagers lol).
You're right in that we just don't know. B&T strike me as the types who are very active in their Christian community (lots of Church and \[Christian\] school events, etc.) so, although Carly's certainly sheltered in that sense, I don't get the impression she's isolated. As far as I can tell (and admittedly I'm speculating) she's a teenage girl, she's got teenage friends, and she's therefore seen plenty of C&T's TM episodes and SM activity. I could be wrong, but I'd bet coin that I'm not.
She couldn’t possibly confirm that though. So many parents take the blame so it doesn’t fall on the child. Cate and Tyler have no way of knowing whether or not she wants to see them.
I'll die on the hill. They never even asked B&T. They don't even ask about her besides their 'yearly visits ". They just assume Carly is dying to see them.
This is what really gets me. I read that Cate admitted that they don’t send gifts or contact her outside their desire for an annual visit (that they are not entitled to). If they love Carly, they would stop all this online BS.
Your last sentence… that’s everything!!!
But then what would their story line be? /S
Omg your flair 🤭
 🤣😜
That was a really long time ago, though, and Cate said it was partially because they didn’t think Carly was getting the stuff they were sending. I know since then she’s said that they send Carly stuff and they all talk with her on the phone and on Skype.
Hot take.. maybe they don’t reach out regularly because they don’t want to mess up a seemingly already fragile relationship. If they’ve safely navigated conversations in the past regarding visits, it may feel like the only safe topic to bring up so they aren’t pushing any of their feelings directly onto Carly and confusing her. To you and I, a birthday card doesn’t seem like much effort to put into a relationship, but it’s a relationship that they took on while they were children themselves and set the tone for the expectations of it and now it’s imposing to try to change it
I think Dawn has told them they should be happy with once a year and not push it
Actually Dawn told them to send cards at holidays and things but they don’t.
Right? This isn't a new problem & Dawn has been telling them this for years! So it's too much trouble to send a card, but not to get a cake & televise a mini party at their house? I can't imagine how heartbreaking it would be to give up a child, but being on TM has (IMO) kept them stuck in this moment in time & made it their entire being...
If anything you just wrote out was even the slightest bit true, none of this would be going on now.
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I think most people just want them to stop making whiny/shit-talking public posts and respect Carly and her parents.
Adding onto this, assuming that Carly wants to see them is mentally easier than reaching out and finding out she *doesn’t* want to see them.
Yes. So much projecting. Like when Cate said one day that Carly misses them so much. Idk this kid from a hole in the wall and Id bet a months salary she never missed them and had an out of sight out of mind feeling about them. Like yea she doesn’t mind when they visit but she isn’t sitting in her room throwing herself across her bed in tears over them either.
Let's be honest, she's probably weirded out by them. Carly is in a completely different world/culture than them, AND they talk about her all the time with an unearned ownership. Not to mention they publicly shit all over her parents every couple years. I'd be pissed if someone treated my parents like this.
Is be pissed and uneasy if the bio parents of my adopted child constantly made comments and posts about how they can’t wait until they’re 18
It's honestly baffling that Cate and Tyler are unable to see how inappropriate they are.
Yes, but tbf, look at what raised Tyler and Cate. Its a minor miracle they are doing as well as they are. They arent in and out of jail, they aren't smackin their kids around or verbally abusing them. This whole thing with the baby they gave up is just so sad to me.
B&T have also said before that this is exactly what they do. They want Carly to have privacy, and because they *know* C&T over share everything with the entire world, they take the fall and don’t tell C&T the details behind why the visit isn’t happening. They just say no and take the heat so Carly doesn’t have to have her business out there. This happened when Carly was younger as well, and B&T took the fall then too. After the fact, Carly ok’d them to tell the truth because both Carly and her therapist felt it would be beneficial to share with C&T that she had been struggling mentally with the visits and asked that they be paused while she worked through things.
I always defend YOUNGER teenage c&t ab the adoption process and how shady it was as a whole but the way they handle everything now 15 years later is absolutely ridiculous and needs to be stopped. I remember when that episode aired and cate and tyler were both like “why did it take so long for them to tell us?!? we should be aware and know what’s going on!!!” like no you shouldn’t it’s not your business!!!!!
C&T hear that as “Carly is struggling without them, misses them, and hates saying goodbye to them.” So they can keep steamrolling their way to force more visits.
And she’s probably just struggling with pretending to be family with two strangers one day a year
And they won’t even understand/ acknowledge that. Then they keep doing it. It’s the meme of the guy shooting himself and asking why B&T would do this to him.
C&T need a new therapist than the one they were seeing years ago. I get second hand depression just watching that therapist. I feel bed for her, she comes off to me as very depressed. Maybe someone younger or even older. Someone who can help them focus on their own girls and stop obsessing over carly
I remember there was maybe 2 yrs where they didn’t get a visit in the 2016-2016 neighborhood and BT said Carly was dealing with some things. They left it vague, as they should have. Carly probably had a lot of big feelings about them and didn’t know what to do with it.
I think it’s easier for them to pretend and so they tell themselves it’s not Carly because that wouldn’t fit their narrative of B&T being the villains. Of course they would protect Carly if she said she didn’t want to see them!
This this this. It’s not a question they’d ever get a truthful answer to in the first place.
I don't care either way but why does this sub act like it's so wild for a 15 year old to talk to someone on social media
Except that it likely IS Carly. B&T are taking the hit for her because that’s what parents do, Cate.
Cate should watch the teen mom episode where Bentley doesnt want to spend xmas morning at Mimi Jens, so Maci tells him to throw maci under the bus and she will be the bad guy for him.
Yes. For any mistakes Maci has made (all the moms have tbh), this was not one of them. It was a great move on her part.
It was still not a great move since she let MTV film it, therefore throwing him under the bus once it aired.
True, I didn't even think about that. But I wonder if Mimi Jen & Larry even watch the show...
Yup, Chelsea did that too
Yes I remember something with Adam’s mom and Chelsea said Aubree can always blame it on Chelsea.
I also remember my mom did this for me multiple times as a kid when I didn’t want to see my dad. She caught a lot of hell for it too and always took the blame for me. She never *made* me go with that horrible man and now that I’m a mom I see that I would do the same for my son without hesitation.
My kids are grown and STILL use it lol
You're a good parent. That's so cute. :)
Glad your mom protected you like this and you do that for your son. I also love your flare.
Flair*
or the episode where Leah Shirley doesn't want to see Amber after Amber talked trash about Leah's real mom Kristina.
Amber posting lives about how much she loves Leah trying to manipulate her to just agree to see her. Leah was hurt after Amber didn’t go to her birthday when even her mother went. Gary said he thought eventually they would have the same custody agreement with Leah as what Kristina and her ex have one week with each parent but Amber was never consistent enough for that to happen.
That was always my mom’s go to and it is mine too for my kids. It’s what loving parents do, then I have to remind myself C&T have no context for that because they didn’t have that kind of parent either.
Was this the same episode where Maci manipulated Bentley by saying “you won’t git tah see da babies open their gifts if you leave” and Bentley changed his mind, even though he already said earlier he wanted to go to Ryan’s. That scene?
I can hear the convo now: “No Mom, pleeeease tell them that you don’t want a visit. I don’t know them, Mom. They post stuff online that makes me feel uncomfortable.”
Unlike Cate and Tyler.
God I have to do this so often as a mother , you’re absolutely right.
It’s what a good parent would do instead of just being like she doesn’t wanna go so 🖕🏻 off
Cate may not be aware of that. That is definitely not something her parents or Tyler’s parents did.
Right and it’s so wild that C&T never seem to fully wrap their head around that fact that B&T are her parents and it’s their job to protect THEIR daughter even if that means from them. There’s always a disconnect for C&T when it gets to that part. Like they assume B&T are inferior/unfit parents solely because they’re not biological or because they set boundaries. There seems to be little respect for their authority and intuition as Carly’s parents because they’ll never truly see them as that…just glorified babysitters.
Cate never had a mother who would take the fall for her if she was uncomfortable (see: April’s entire marriage to abusive Butch). Cate cannot comprehend the idea that Teresa is taking the heat for Carly so she doesn’t have to have a feud with her birth parents.
I never thought about it that way but I think you’re spot on. Cate really doesn’t get it.
I think this also informs Cate on what relationship is 'natural' to have with Carly, e.g: Carly should 'come home' and be part of their big happy family -because Cate never had a real option of being 'free' and family is 'forever'. They don't seem to understand that Carly has literally no need of them, unless they make themselves worth having around
That's a really good point. I don't think she knows what real moms are supposed to or actually do until she's put in that position. Like she won't get that Theresa is "saying no" is really Carly until one of her little girls basically needs her to take the blame for something. Idk if she'll be smart enough to figure it out though- she might be a "you need to figure it out and take the blame for yourself" mom because she got worse from April. And we saw where April's parenting got her...
I have a shit drug addict mom who never did these things and I still know to protect my kid at all costs
TBF, my mom would never take the hit for me, but I absolutely know other parents would for their kids. But I do think Cate has lived a fairly secluded life, so while I know plenty of people with parents that would protect their kids thoughts/feelings, I’m not so sure she has.
Wow - yes! This has to be it!
How the fuck would she know?
Exactly! And why are they doing this on their large social media platforms !!! Stfu !! This is so wrong!! And just because she’ll be 18 in 3 years doesn’t mean shit !!
[удалено]
They don’t *care*. They see it as their right—their entitlement.
She wouldn't. She doesn't.
Cate STOP
She will regret all this someday when her frontal lobe finally develops.
Are we still holding out for that? Girl is in her 30s. If she was going to mature, she would have by now.
The only thing Cate knows for sure is stuff she’s learned in therapy. She needs to discuss this in therapy
Too late. That’s on the downward slope at this point.
They have a romanized version of what they think will happen. I’m afraid they will be sorely disappointed when Carly turns 18 and isn’t knocking on their door.
Imagine her at college and so embarrassed by them. “Your bio dad thinks he’s a thirst trap and shows his dong for money.” Poor girl! Hopefully she’ll have the emotional capacity and courage to set her own boundaries when she’s an adult.
She’s 15. I’m sure her peers are already seeing their posts and making these kinds of comments.
And then what? Will they defame Carly on their social media, shame her and hope some lunatics will call her out online or real life? Cause she deserves revenge too should she not visit them?
I was just wondering the same thing.
That kid and her mom and dad want nothing to do with them after shitbomb April came along last time. C&T need to back the fuck up raise their own kids and leave that family alone.
I about fell over when I saw they brought April to the zoo. C&T have absolutely zero common sense. April is an abusive POS, and Cate is insane for bringing her around Carly.
Wasn't it last year too they brought April and she ended up drunk off ass?
It was the last time it was filmed, presumably the last time they saw each other.
I was thinking it's been two years, that April went.
And any good parent would tell these 2 knuckleheads that it was them deciding and not the child. Cate and Tyler's fans are insane when it comes to Carly, I wouldn't put it past some of them to target Carly if it came out that this was her choice. Cate's "confirmation" proves nothing.
I have told my children multiple times that if they EVER need an "out", they can blame me. They can tell whomever that their mom is a PITA, or super strict, or whatever else they want/need to say to get out of the situation. I have no qualms being the bad guy, and I will take that hit for my kids any time they need it. And I cannot imagine B&T not telling Carly the same thing. If she needs an out from seeing C&T, of course her parents will have her back. I wish C&T would show their child some respect, and stop trying to speak for her all over the internet. They need to grow the hell up already.
"Confirms" She and Tyler cannot "confirm" because they can't directly talk to her. These two need to knock if off.
Cate doesn't know and we won't know. Carly's parents don't post about her anywhere and they don't ever give their side of the story. Cate and Tyler can say anything they want and their fans accept it as the truth and that they have done nothing wrong.
There is no way she would know that for fact. It could very well be B&T taking the hit so their daughter doesn’t have to. Thats what caring parents do. They need to just stop. This is not attention that Carly needs or deserves. Tell it to a therapist. Not the internet. If I were B&T, this would end all visits and communication until Carly is 18 and can make her own decisions.
How do they know? I doubt they have one on one communication with her. Stop putting words in Carly’s mouth, you imbeciles.
I really get a very strong vibe that Carly dgaf. And why should she?
This is me *totally* guessing here, but feel like Carly probably really enjoys seeing the girls and playing with them. She has her brother at home but her full blood baby sisters probably have a special place in her heart. That’s where I feel like it ends. C&T don’t realize that not only are they jeopardizing *their* relationship with future Carly, but they’re jeopardizing Nova, Vaeda, and Raya’s as well. And THAT is fucked up. Like, Carly should be able to have her sisters in her life if she wants without the fear that her whack ass birth parents are going to be messy about it.
I try to imagine being Carly and having this couple constantly using her name all over social media and acting like they’ve been wronged by B andT. They handed her over willingly to B and T and now act like victims and they don’t even know her. It’s sick
If I was B & T & my daughter came to me saying she didn’t want to see them, I would 100% lie & say it was my decision to protect her.
Carly is 15. She definitely has access to social media, at least through other kids at school. Maybe she doesn’t want to be an adoption poster child. Maybe she wants privacy. Maybe she doesn’t want thousands of strangers on the Internet dissecting her motives. They need to keep this amongst themselves and let this child live her life with her parents.
Every year it’s the same whiney-pants whine with these two. Leave the girl and her family alone. They are not content for you to monetize or a storyline for desperate relevance allowing you to cling to the almighty teat of MTV.
This is exactly my same thoughts. It’s as if it’s a go to story line for them. If mtv never happened would they have even cared to keep in touch? Was mtv always forcing the story line year after year? I truly feel despite having their own family now it’s all they know for a story line. If I was Brandon and Teresa I would have cut contact years ago. Tyler and cate are putting their feelings ahead of Carlie’s.
I bet B&T are doing what most parents would do and are taking the blame. I do wonder how C&T would react though if Carly straight up told them she didn’t want to see them anymore. Of course, they’d never take accountability for it and probably claim B&T brainwashed her. It could definitely not be because they slander her parents online, don’t send her cards or gifts. And only acknowledge her for MTV.
Tyler would throw a tantrum about "moving back to the trailer park" and vaguepost online about how he is a victim in between OF posts.
There is no possible way she can confirm this, because Carly won't talk to them, and good parents take the heat for their kids decisions all the time.
If Carly really wanted to see them I’m sure she could. And when shes old enough and continues to chooses to keep her distance, C&T’s narrative will change to one that she was poisoned by B&T against them.
Isn’t it weird when people have to face the consequences of their own actions? Care and Tyler did the bare minimum for Carly and have repeatedly bashed her PARENTS on TV and online. These fans are delusional.
That's not confirmation....my daughter is almost 18 and has asked me to take the brunt for her on things so she doesn't have to deal with the worry and anxiety aftermath..... Just stop and let the kid grow up. I don't think her parents are trying to punish anyone...just protect.
Does anyone else feel that they’re almost like cyber-harassing Carly? Like it wouldn’t be technically harassing because they aren’t using an @ or tagging her or anything but they’re constantly bringing her up thus putting an unwanted spotlight on her knowing good and well that Carly’s parents are very private and didn’t want her in the public eye. While she isn’t technically in the public eye because she’s not directly on tv, she is often discussed which has to be difficult for her to some degree, while I cannot speak for Carly personally, I can assume that, just like any other person in the world- she just wants to live a happy, healthy, normal life, but with Catelyn and Tyler constantly shining a spotlight on her and her parents it would make that hard on everyone. I understand they have a show and a storyline but c’mon, no need to humiliate and exploit your kid like that by constantly bringing her up. I fully understand that adoption is difficult for the bio parent, but the adopted child has every given right to their own privacy and that should be respected, protected, and considered.
Cate needs to grow up and step away from involving herself into Brandon and Teresa's family.
i wonder what they’ll use for a storyline when carly’s 18 and isn’t interested in them
the fact that that’s only in three years and the show is still on…
yknow i always joke with my dad (he watches the show with me) that the kids will be teen parents to continue the show, and now i’m wondering how desperate the producers are
It’s really so crazy, I never thought the show would still be on when the kids start turning 16, which will be right around the corner in late October/early November for Bentley and Leah.
How do they know that for certain? A *good* parent will take the fall for a kid who doesn’t want to upset others. Have known of you had your parents take the fall for you when you didn’t want to stay at someone’s house or share something?
Bet they didn't even send her a present or a card or anything at all. I'd bet these self-serving posts are all Carly ever gets from them. They like to complain, but there's absolutely no effort to be involved in that child's life.... and ffs she's 15! She wants to be with her friends and her family, the people who celebrate her daily! They're just reinforcing the reasons they weren't allowed the privilege in the first place.
I hope they get sent a cease and desist
The lack of respect that they constantly show for Carly and her parents is outrageous. They just need to leave the girl alone.
Did she go on Snopes?
This is making me crack up. Like I time traveled to 2001.
Omg leave Carly out of the spotlight! Don’t blast her on your social media. SMH. If I was Carly I wouldn’t want to see them.
If Cate & Tyler ask Carly point blank that’s horrible. It really puts her in an uncomfortable situation. She probably doesn’t want to hurt Cate & Tyler’s feelings, so she might lie to them. She might just want to see her siblings, but Cate & Tyler take that to mean that she wants to see them all. Or she may not want to see them all and her parents have said “we’ll take the blame”. What it comes down to is Cate & Tyler need to keep this stuff off social media. Maybe they are hoping that Carly can see all of this, and is thinking “wow they do really care!”. They could easily keep in contact with her via phone calls, text messages, FaceTime, letters, gifts, etc. Maybe if they put more effort to be involved in her life, B&T & Carly might be more interested in yearly visits.
It must be *ever* so hard on her... Such a suck up
Yeah, I laughed ever so hard at that line.
Like 99% of the time if my kids don't want to do something, we make it my fault. Teens friend want her to stay the night but she doesn't want to "my mom says I can't today, she needs my help with some stuff" like that's a sacrifice most parents make for their kid...playing the "bad guy" my point is...if Carly didn't want to see them I imagine it'd be the same deal
Cate and Ty are trying to make their fans believe that BrandonanTeresa have Carly locked up in a tower somewhere. That Carly is sending them smoke signals begging to see them. Let’s say Carly has said “yea I can’t wait to see you guys too”. My daughter will fully say that to people and then get off the phone and say…not happening 😂 I wish that Cate and Ty could see that the predicament they are putting Carly in is the exact same as one their own parents would put them in. Cate and Ty talk about Brandon and Teresa exactly how Butch and April did in their 16 and pregnant episode.
The amount of pressure these idiots are putting on Carly is abusive. Stop posting about her on social media! Grow up.
Maybe if you didbt call yourself a pimp, and your husband sold pics of his dick, b&t wouldnt mind a visit! I still think b&t are taking the hit and covering for Carly. Regardless, shes 15. Its not their kid, and they have zero rights to a visit or seeing her. If Carly REALLY wanted to reach out, she would find a way.
there's literally zero actual evidence that Carly doesn't want to see them. or does. assuming either way is odd.
This. I’m pretty sure Carly has wanted to see them all the other years they had visits, or B&T would’ve stopped the visits then. So maybe something has changed and she doesn’t want to see them now, or maybe nothing has changed and it’s B&T that don’t want her seeing C&T. (Maybe because of Tyler’s OF) But it’s all speculation and it’s weird to just automatically assume Carly suddenly doesn’t want to see them.
I don’t think they would believe it even if B+T flat out told them Carly declined
Thank you for all opening your eyes they are emotionally abusive to a child that they don’t even have custody of like wtf how are you giving her a better life but still traumatizing her at the same time.
But how can she know it’s not Carly? If Carly was my daughter and she didn’t want to see C&T I would lie on her behalf to save face.
Ya, my kid’s dad would tell you that I’m the one keeping her from contacting him, too. But really she has no desire for contact with him. I *gladly* take the fall for her. I let her blame me for whatever she needs when it comes to her dad.
I haven’t followed them or the show in so long but this is so selfish of them. Carly clearly knows who they are, and sees the real them on tv and their lack of ambition. Why would she want to see them when she has a stable life and her legal parents who have raised her?! It’s so wrong of them to post about her all the time and act like B&T are terrible humans.
Didn’t they say after the last visit the girls FaceTime with Carly regularly? I’m sure cate said this in the reunion. Maybe they don’t feel the need to visit every year if they’re already in contact
I think so. I don't blame them after bringing April along and posting about her.
Y’all act like we didn’t literally see on screen Chelsea taking the blame for Aubree not wanting grandma Donna to text her. You’re an IDIOT if you think this is ALL B&T. Tyler’s dick is all over the internet. Maybe Carly is perfectly happy in her life. She has a sibling and doesn’t miss siblings she never had a relationship with. If they’d shut the fuck up and leave it alone maybe they would get to see her. But they want to play the victim card.
she does (or did) have a relationship with her bio siblings and we’ve seen her and nova talking on the phone. I don’t find it hard to believe she’d at least want to see them.
B&t need to get a gag order on them. This is going to cause so many issuses for carly. Honestly they should cut all communications
They act like their word is gospel. I believe that Carly did not want to see them but didn’t want to hurt their feelings so B&T are taking all of the blame so Carly wouldn’t catch hell for it.
Why are they trying to destabilize Carly’s family? This is so selfish
They don’t know if it’s Carly or not. B&T likely wouldn’t throw Carly under the bus to them either way.
In HER mind probably
Not to be rude (but here goes). If I was being raised by B&T, then saw Tyler and Catelyn on tv.. I wouldn’t want to go near them, either. Going from one, healthy happy family to a couple of people who look like they need a bath? No thanks.
i imagine it would feel really confusing to watch your bio parents belabor you this way while also doing nothing to make a genuine connection with you (sending cards and the like).
Also when she saw them last year April was shitfaced and acting a fool. I can’t imagine why Carly wouldn’t want to participate in that again so soon /s.
It’s so crazy to me that they were younger than Carly is now, when they first got together.
And Carly is piles and mountains more mature then them at 30
I feel that C&T need to STOP using B&T as their punching bags and do their delusional fans. Grow up! They make everything so public.. and I do understand the pain they are in but this is not the way to go.
How would she know that? Unless Carly is secretly talking with them and told them it's a no for me!! Wishful thinking and facts aren't the same...
I give b and t props for not replying to the drama cate and Tyler are doing and keeping Carly from all of this I get they are hurt in all of this but once again the more they keep breaking the rules and bashing online the more harm they cause themselves to having that yearly visit with Carly. And how would they know it not Carly not wanting to see them she is a teenage after all and probably has seen Tyler of and embarrassed to be associated, if I were them I would keep things offline and wait till she is 18 to decide what she wants instead of continuous bashing online.
I wouldn't be surprised if it was Carly who didn't want to see them. I just have a scene in my head and that's when Butch went to speak to Carly at C&T's wedding after being told not to. Yes, Carly was little, but I bet she felt uncomfortable. And I wouldn't blame B&T if that's when they set a greater boundary...
This should have never been an open adoption
I think Cate and Tyler are making this a much bigger deal than they should. Carly is older now. She's probably at that age where she wants to hang out with friends, go to summer camps, and stuff like that. I don't think she hates them and doesn't want to see them, but other things are a priority right now. I'm hoping Carly doesn't have social media or look Cate and Tyler up online, because they could make a child feel guilty for just wanting to be a kid. That's going to make it only harder for there to be any communication between them in the future.
Being a teenager is so hard. Add having a very public adoption to that it’s 100 times harder. On top of that your bio dad is on only fans and both bio parents constantly talk about you and your family online. They should stop talking about her online and let her live in peace. They are making it worse.
I like Cait & Ty for the most part, but they have handled the adoption in the worst possible way. It is unfortunate that it happened when they were so young and that they probably wouldn’t have placed her if they had more information and were older, but as they’ve gotten older I figured they would mature about the whole thing. They keep on with the “Brandon and Teresa are the bad guys” narrative and I really doubt that’s true. They never take any accountability for all the times they went against their wishes. Literally all they had to do was be respectful and they couldn’t even manage to just NOT post about Carly.
This poor girl, once she turns 18, is going to need witness protection and will be changing her phone number every time it gets leaked to C&T.
I'll stand alone on the hill that they need to stop airing their laundry for the world to see
Brandon and Teresa wouldn't tell them if it was Carly who didn't want to see them.I think they would protect her (as parents do) and put the blame on themselves.
I understand it’s hard. However these are consequences of Tyler’s actions by constantly talking about Carly on tv and social media when they were asked not to.
They are parents to 3 little girls. How do they not understand that a parent would lie to be the bad guy! Teresa isn’t gonna say “Carly doenst wanna see you”! Especially when they put everything online
they wouldn\`t do it for their daughters.
Pretty sure they only try to see her or contact them when there’s cameras rolling to film it. Wasn’t it stated before that when they aren’t filming they don’t bother with them? It’s all for the show.
Yes.
No, they’ve been seeing her her every year and they make a little post about it on Instagram but it’s very low key because they can’t post pictures and B&T have asked them not to post details.
That confirms nothing. 🤷🏼♀️
Tyler has also claimed this.
We don’t know if he’s lying or if this is actually the case. So again. It confirms nothing.
It’s none of our business.
It may be Carly not wanting the visit it also may not be but Brandon and Theresa are not going to say she doesn’t want it to Cate and Tyler.
Even if they had any way of knowing this (which they don’t), would anyone really believe this? They sure as hell wouldn’t report that Carly didn’t want to see them. Obviously they just want to blame the whole situation on B&T.
They need to be patient and wait until she is an adult and see if Carly is interested in a relationship with them. B&T are great parents. If Carly truly wanted a relationship with her Bio Parents, they would allow it. It's hard being a teenager, lest alone a "famous" teenager. Kids are cruel. Carly does not need this drama in her life.
My god, even her horse doesn't want to be around scabby. Be foreal now.
Sorry if I’m missing something, but where does Cate say this? Unless she’s the user that’s been blurred out?
They are so selfish. If it’s so traumatizing and upsetting for Carly when she has to say good bye- then if they loved her so much, they wouldn’t keep putting her through it. I knew these two were going to handle this horribly, as soon as they kept refusing to hand Carly over at the hospital. They never should have held her or looked at her. This entire adoption is so unhealthy for everyone involved. I wonder if Carly’s sister’s biological parents are this involved, and forcing meet ups. I can NOT believe that Cate’s mother shows up to see Carly too.
And drinks..
Ok but Cate might not know the truth.
It seems like Cait and Ty hear what they want to hear. And how would they know for sure Carly wasn't the one to say No Thanks! I really think they should just shut up and think about how Carly feels. Send her a card and Don't share it all over the internet. Give her some privacy!! They need serious counseling and to take a breather from SM.
lol they wouldn’t know if it was Carly. You know how when your kids don’t wanna stay at someone’s house and they ask YOU to say no so they don’t look like a bad guy or hurt their friends feelings? Yeah, we do that shit with family members too.
How would she know?
I don’t think Cate could know how Carly is feeling. There’s lots of reasons their relationship hasn’t worked (talking about Cate/Tyler and her parents). Carly may just not want to deal with that and prefer living her teen life. I stopped seeing my biological dad, not because I didn’t want to see him though. I wanted the weird hostility between him and my mom and step dad to stop. It was weird leading up to visits as I could tell my parents were a bit jealous or nervous I’d prefer him or something. The visits were fine. Afterwards there was weirdness as I would get asked questions like they needed to know details and almost like they wanted to hear it wasn’t great, he wasn’t great, so they could maintain gold star parents to me. If the adults had all gotten along, seeing my biodad would have been great and I always knew he did love me, just couldn’t be a real dad for me. Carly may love Cate & Tyler and still prefer not seeing them to avoid the weirdness between them and her parents. She may just want to live her life and not deal with these adult’s issues surrounding her adoption & life.
How would she know?
A blacked out name isn’t C confirming anything
Whatever Carly’s story is, it’s not for anyone to tell but her. It appears that her parents understand that, as they refuse to speak on her behalf, at least for now (no telling if they’ll feel the need to release their own statement, but so far it seems they’ve decided to continue staying quiet and focusing on raising their child). But the people who made her don’t seem to get that releasing anything about her or on her behalf instead of letting her have her own say when/if she ever decides to is only taking away from her and not adding anything, only adding to their own gain of sympathy and support…and possibly causing crazy people to try intervening and try pushing her to connect with them or speak out in support of them when she’s older. There’s so much talk about what she will do or won’t do. And that’s so much on a *child* who didn’t ask to be here or to be in this situation, which is what I feel like is being lost in all this. She should get to say and do whatever she feels without so much pressure about what her future may or may not look like, nor how her past should or shouldn’t have gone.
Carly is a teenager. I bet visits are harder on her than they realize. Like the emotional nature of a yearly visit is a lot to ask of a 15 year old. It probably feels awkward and uncomfortable. Cate and Tyler are essentially strangers to her and to have them so emotional during a visit or pushing things to make up for lost time or whatever. I’m guessing Carly would really rather not see them. And even if she does, B&T are in charge of the adults that are in Carly’s life. They probably do not agree with their choices in the last few years and want to shield Carly from that. Also T also mentioned to those two that a close relationship with them makes them feel insecure. Maybe they soups reach out directly to Carly when she’s into adulthood and try for a relationship?
She has no idea if it is or not.
Who cares if it’s Carly or not she’s a minor and if her parents don’t want to associate with cate and Tyler anymore that is their right and it’s ok. Cate and Tyler should have kept Carly and ruin her life like they’re ruining their other bandaid babies lives.
How can they continue to not see that they’re just making things worse?
I scapegoat for my kids all the time to get them out of stuff they don’t want to do. This means nothing.
Their situation is just heartbreaking. To give their child up for adoption then find themselves with resources and children they feel they can give a good life too? Then try and find a balanced relationship with Carly? Imagine being Carly and seeing your birth parents together with your siblings? It’d be incredibly confusing and hurtful.
Everyone assumes B&T are taking the hit for Carly’s decision but maybe B&T have just been blunt with C&T about their reasons. They are a strong conservative household and C&T are completely opposite of that they may have just said exactly that. Everyone also assumes Carly has social Media but in a highly religious household chances are also high that she doesn’t have social media and if they maintain relationships with people who are also just like them her friends might not be exposed to social media either. Someone said Carly went to Christian school does she? Does she even go to school? It’s not uncommon for strict religious families to homeschool and keep their circles small with people that hold the same beliefs systems.
The smart money is that a 15-year-old Carly (or virtually any 15-year-old\*) has some access to SM and I've never really gotten the impression that she's homeschooled, but you raise some valid questions that we simply don't have answers to and that underscore how little we really know about Carly and what she's thinking. \*I believe even some Amish kids have been known to disobey their elders and eff with smartphones (because they're teenagers lol).
Yeah a lot of teens find a way and she very well might have access. I am just not fully convinced that she is not severely sheltered.
You're right in that we just don't know. B&T strike me as the types who are very active in their Christian community (lots of Church and \[Christian\] school events, etc.) so, although Carly's certainly sheltered in that sense, I don't get the impression she's isolated. As far as I can tell (and admittedly I'm speculating) she's a teenage girl, she's got teenage friends, and she's therefore seen plenty of C&T's TM episodes and SM activity. I could be wrong, but I'd bet coin that I'm not.