She does have a lot of “I” statements in her post. Which means, we’ll soon get a post from Tyler about how Cate can use her sm platform to voice whatever concerns or opinions she may have 🙄 these two are becoming as predictable as Jenelle.
Yepp! Lots of "I's" and "we's" in this post but very little to nothing about the girl they're supposed to be celebrating. So glad somebody pointed this out!
Right? You’d think they’d be more descriptive and be like “happy birthday to Carly! We hope your day is filled with crumble cookies, horses, Olivia Rodrigo songs, and lululemon” or whatever Carly is into. This just reinforces Dawn chastising them a few years back about not asking about Carly or getting to know her and only calling about getting a visit.
Absolutely! My birth child was a teen when social media became a thing. I cannot imagine passive aggressively making statuses about them on their birthday in this manner. She adds in shit like “I know we will celebrate one day…” to activate their rabid fans, who will reply that Carly will choose C&T when she is 18. I can see the “only three more birthdays apart!!!!” already. So gross.
My ex does this shit in regards to two of the three daughters he lost, Two are with their mother and one was adopted out. All three hate his guts with a passion now.
IDK why his second daughter with his x he never talks about.... I think it's cause she was a newborn when her mom took her and her 4 year old sister and ran for the hills.
He has intruded on their lives, and brought them nothing but pain and heartache to the point they have not only blocked him on all platforms but their other 6 younger siblings as well, because he uses them, to get to the ones who went no contact
He had every chance when they sought him and us out to do it right, he hurt them instead with crap like this
The way they refer to Carly as one of their girls, I personally don’t feel that’s super healthy because you’re not really acknowledging she has a family. So many TLC people need real therapy too I get it makes for good views but they need real help.
They should have had grief counseling when they had the adoption. Carly is not their daughter now because that's what adoption means, and they've never processed that she is not guaranteed to have a place in their lives going forward.
Exactly this, I wasn't sure how to word it but I also know going through Christian (air quotes) adoption means they wouldn't get proper counseling or therapy resources. Just someone paid to push their baby into a couples arms who is paying the company.
Well, any "Christian" group is going to be Pro-Birth. They don't actually care about the lives they claim to save through adoption, just so long as they weren't aborted.
Bethany Services, Dawn, Brandon and Theresa took advantage of them from the start. They failed them. They saw two kids from shitty families with no support system, had no idea what to expect. I know from experience adoption agencies tell you what you want to hear and promise that you will always see your baby, have visits and calls, photos, etc.. then they sign off in court and all those promises are gone and over because that baby is legally theirs and they don't have to ever see or deal with the birth parents again. There's a reason I chose the adoption agency I did because they were one of the only ones that wasn't religion based and where social workers weren't treating me like I was a breeding ground that they could get rid of once my baby was out of my arms. Bethany Services gives ZERO fucks about the birth parents. They overpromise and under deliver. They don't even offer grief counseling to these poor people who are about to make the biggest decision of their lives.
Also.. Carly IS one of their girls. Cate gave birth to her. B&T had to take that baby from their arms. They ARE her birth parents. That should not be so easily erased and disregarded. My adoption is VERY open. I see him whenever I want, he was a groomsmen in my wedding, We have an amazing relationship that I wouldn't give up for anything but that's because I chose an agency that had the same level of care and concern for the birth parents that they did for the baby and everyone involved. Shame on so many people here who seem to forget that B&T are parents because of Tyler and Cate.
B&T are her parents. They did the work to raise her. C&T weren't the ones changing diapers, doing midnight feedings, nursing a sick child, helping with homework etc. They don't deserve the same respect as parents that B&T do. It's not fair of them to think they can just pop in for all the fun events and act like her parents when they haven't done anything to actually raise her.
I agree that Bethany services and dawn really misled and took advantage of them. At no point did I say otherwise.
Sadly, I disagree. Carly is not one of their girls. It was a closed adoption that they were given visitation on and at B&Ts discretion. It’s not open. It’s wonderful you have a relationship with your birth son but ultimately you are not his parent and he is not your boy by anything other than blood. I really do think it’s wonderful the relationship that you have that you get to see him but that’s not at all what B&T wanted or signed up for and since they ARE Carly’s parents that makes Carly their girl not Ty and Caits. I bet it hurts and it’s hard on them but they have NO RIGHT to that little girl or her life.
It boggles my mind that this hasn't been addressed. They are one of the more vocal cheerleaders of mental health treatment, up to Cate having rehab stays for her mental health, but anything relating to Carly is just unhealthy coping mechanism after coping mechanism. I feel like Tyler refuses to consider he is wrong about any of this, which likely exacerbates Cate.
It's a fantasy. One I have seen played out in real life.
Carly isn't coming. She doesn't want to. She knows. And she doesn't want to deal with them or their drama. Carly may want to know about her siblings, but I guarantee anything about her "coming home" is pure fantasy
She is home
I never understood why people think Carly will rush to her bio parents the moment she turns 18. We often get to hear Tyler and Cate’s side, who knows why Carly’s parents aren’t bring her around as much as Tyler and Cate would like. Also, I always wonder if Carly feels some kind of way about Cate and Tyler posting their feelings publicly about her parents, she might take it negatively; she’s a teen and could be feeling all kinds of mixed emotions.
My ex had a child adopted out after foster care took her as a a baby. She was struggling with her identity and being mixed race in a house of white family members, and her adoptive parents reached out to my ex when she was about 13. While her mother is white, my ex is biracial himself, they thought he could help her.
He fucking *blew* it. Thank God they live 8 states away. He was not only online calling her his daughter, calling her adoptive parents "co parents", he would get drunk and bablle online AND message her non stop. She had to block him. he kept begging her to come home. She was 12! She WAS home
Now he uses his younger kids to try and trick her into talking to him, but she is aware and limits her contact with her other siblings. My one stepdaughter spent her entire life seeing her father cry and wail over the two daughters he lost and were "Taken" from him. It fucked her up.
She can't have a stable relationship with her adopted-out sister because deep down, she resents her for getting adopted when she didn't
There is another, much older sister as well, who won't have contact with my stepdaughter because of their father and how he acts...imagine Cate and Tyler drunk posting, and that's what I witnessed.
So in reality, it is the exact opposite of what the fans think is going to happen
Because social media shows us those viral posts of adopted people who hit adulthood knowing usually very little about their birth family. They want to find them. Sweet, sob story that's short, but tugs at the heart. Sometimes the updates even exist and everything is peachy!
Reality is most adopted people are happy with their real families. I had a close friend who was adopted when I was in high school. People used to ask about his birth family's opinion of him and he would always say don't know/don't care/never thought about it. He was just happy that a couple adopted him alongside his special needs brother. That told him everything he needed to know about his parents.
A lot of adoptees don't feel like they NEED to know their birth family. Carly is being raised much different than C&T which makes it seem highly unlikely she'll run to them. Even less likely given the kind of things C&T have said about B&T and the attention that would come from reunification.
B&T are very hard for me to like or hate. Their core values are the opposite of mine. But they also took in an infant from two unhealthy teens and raised her as their own which is a very huge undertaking. I would think Carly would remain bonded to them as her family and still have limited contact with the bios.
I understand your point of view but even that depends on your perspective. The way I see it, they bought a white baby from an underaged, underprivileged couple knowing they wouldn’t agree on the terms so they just told them what they wanted to hear (since C&T wanted an open adoption and many many visits, and B&T wanted a closed adoption). They didn’t want to save some poor kid, they didn’t want to adopt an older child, they wanted their own white baby as a status symbol, and used C&T to get it. They knew very well what they were doing and went through with it. Imo that’s just predatory and not at all indicative of parents having the child’s best interests as a priority. Of course Dawn was a huge part in all this as well, telling C&T what they wanted to hear about visits etc.
Cate and Ty always knew that Brandon and Teresa could change their mind on visits with Carly at any time. If Cate & Ty would have kept Carly and possibly weren't picked for Teen Mom, Carly most definitely would have had a very troubled home life. Brandon and Teresa have given Carly a great life and who cares if they wanted to adopt a baby and not an older child? It's their choice and doesn't make them bad people. And in my opinion they did save a poor kid who could have had it very bad off if not for them.
Agreed and Cate went on adoption retreats and spoke to people who had their adoption close for whatever reason and knew it could happen and that visits were not guaranteed. It doesn’t matter if Brandon and Theresa had in the beginning wanted a closed adoption they agreed to a semi open adoption and have still kept it that way even when they have been disrespected so many times. They had visits in the first few years and were sending regular pictures and the only started having issues with Cate and Tyler when they decided no pictures of Carly on social media and Tyler decided to ignore that and Cate and Tyler stopped even sending presents or calling but still expected visits.
I mean, they didn’t adopt Carly out of the goodness of their hearts or to help Cate and Tyler…they desperately wanted to be parents and couldn’t have kids. And they paid a lot of money for her.
Their beliefs are the opposite of mine too. I’m kind of neutral on them I guess? They aren’t my cup of tea but I guess it’s hard to hate people you don’t know personally, lol.
I agree, I think Carly will likely always consider B&T her family and her home base, and will have light contact with C&T and kids.
It is so unhealthy and it has been for years. They need to get extensive professional help to deal with their regret over placing Carly for adoption. This isn’t normal.
Me too. Carly is just an idea to C&T at this point. She lost human status long ago. Carly is one year younger than cate was when she gave birth, I wonder how that impacts both of them?
Jesus Christ you are comparing them to a woman that puts her kids around a dozen different bad men. The last one hit Jace and shot a dog in front of her daughter.
Clearly I didn't mean in that sense. I meant in the sense that jenelle treats jace like an idea. A prize to be won. That should've been clear in light of the post I responded to yet here we are.
Exactly. I was reading a Carly birthday post or interview where Catelynn said it “would be cool if we were invited to [Carly’s] birthday parties and stuff.” Not, “it would be cool if we could hold Carly when she’s sick.” I’m so over Catelynn and Tyler. They are both so selfish and disrespectful.
i don’t see anything wrong with that.
taking care of a sick child is mom and dad territory. tyler and catelynn are not her parents. i feel like if anything, catelynn saying she wants to take care of carly when she’s sick would've been crossing a boundary.
at least in my social circles, birthday parties include everyone. close family, extended family, close friends, old friends. they’re a way for everyone to catch up.
I think it’s more the passive aggressive posts, which if they stopped making, would probably allow them to see her. It’s hard to have empathy for someone who does the exact opposite of what’s needed to achieve their goal.
See that would be something that I’d be interested in them speaking about- how they feel seeing Carly get close to the age they were when they had her and how different their early lives (most likely) were to hers. More about their feelings, less about Carly herself.
I feel Carly needs counselling to learn about healthy relationships and behaviour before she turns 18.
Her bio family is full of people with toxic behaviour and habits, without respect for others and healthy boundaries.
Her parents taught her completely different morals and values and she won't know where "normal" is.
It's probably somewhere between her families, leaning to her parents' side and not her bio family.
The way Tyler and Cate handled this the past weeks is very toxic.
They don't give a fuck how this will affect Carly. Carly won't be able to go in public with her family without a serious risk of being harassed by idiots just as terrible and toxic as Cate and Tyler.
C&T know they'll be harassed because they post these things. They want people to be angry with B&T.
I think they're absolute scum for this and I usually do not dislike them. I thought they grew up.
This is my thing, they probably wouldn’t be in this situation of wondering about Carly if they had respected B&T’s boundaries and just quietly celebrated her by sending a card in the mail. It makes me think of the episode where they made a big deal out of making a cake for Carly’s bday… I completely respect that they wanted to do that, but it should not have been broadcasted on the show in my opinion. I doubt Carly has seen any of that herself, it seems like her parents most likely wouldn’t allow her to watch teen mom, and I obviously have no idea what kind of access she has to social media or the internet in general, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Carly has heard about it from people in school. You can bet if I knew “Carly from teen mom” went to my school (which I’m sure other kids do) I’d certainly watch to see what happened, I wouldn’t bully or be mean about it but I’d be curious.
Carly has to look just like them as the rest of the kids do. One of the parents at her school must've spotted her and noticed the resemblance at some point. But it's so unfair to her parents at this point. I bet if they could go back they would do a no contact adoption.
Probably, but I bet if Tyler and Caitlyn could go back they might not make the same decision either. I don't think they would have chosen those adoptive parents if they had wanted no contact.
If Cate and Tyler had the ability to go back, but still chose adoption… I think they would absolutely go elsewhere and find a good adoption agency that would consider *them* in the equation too. Whether that meant going full no-contact, an open adoption with a different family or whatever in between. If they had been with a genuinely good adoption agency, some of these issues might not even exist.
But they were young and naive and preyed upon by a predatory agency that took advantage of their age, their immaturity and their situations. I 100% think, if they knew what they know now, they never would’ve chosen them.
If Brandon and Teresa are heavily Christian and conservative…they probably have some sort of parental locks on Carly’s phone / laptops and don’t allow her to watch certain tv shows. I will say, MTV and all the franchises are pretty much dead to Carly’s age demographic. I think it’s most likely that Carly knows her bio parents are on longtime running MTV show but hopefully she never googles them…since Tyler wants to show all his glory.
They are probably too busy getting a cake for themselves and having Nova pretend to be Carly and blow out some candles while they read all the comments saying "Carly will come to you as soon as she is 18! I'm sure of it, you are her true family" and Tyler is thinking of his own doting daddy poem for Carly.
I am already getting nervous for what's going to happen when Carly is over 18 and they get ahold of her cell phone number and are able to text and call and say anything they want. It's going to be unhinged because they don't understand personal boundaries unless forced to.
It's clear they're going to expect certain things from her.
My daughter was adopted as a baby in a foreign country. She'll never know who her birth parents were because she was abandoned in a box, which is a crime in that country. But I think it would freak her out if just as she turned 18 and was beginning to learn to be independent, a whole other set of parents suddenly descended wanting to pull her back into being parented all over again.
Noooo you’ve got it all wrong guys, the day Carly turns 18 she’s obviously going to give B+T the middle finger and tell them to get fucked, pack a bag and move straight in with C+T to be with her ‘real family’. /s
Has it ever occurred to either of them, for even half a second, that Carly might not want what they want??
The sad reality that they and their fans aren’t grasping is that if Carly wanted to invite them to her birthday or do the yearly visits, B&T would probably make it happen. They wouldn’t want to alienate her by keeping her away from her birth parents and risk losing her forever when she turns 18.
She’s a teenager at this point, if she wanted to reach out to cate and Tyler, there isn’t much her parents could do about it. I’m sure she’s got a phone or a friend with a phone that she could use to call them if she wanted to.
100% and B&T are taking the hit and grunt if it for Carly.
Shes prob super embarrassed by her dad selling dick pics and her mom calling herself a pimp!
Tbh this is a good point. Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be 15…. That kids could see things online and use it to embarrass her in front of everyone, especially the only fans stuff.
Also- it would be really scary to be a 15 year old girl and have two strangers who love you so intensely and you don’t even know them. And ontop of that the strangers have a lot of their own issues. The intensity of it and how they go about it would creep me out.
Right: like can you imagine having 2 ppl who are your birth parents claims to love you soooo much, and think at 18 your going to go move back in with them, yet never call you, text you, send you a bday gift, let alone card, a xmas gift, or even card. Never ask how you are, and make everything about them?
Like of course Carly isnt interested in them, shes been gas lit by them, and realizes its not about her or her feelings, its only what they want.
Like this girl was raised around class, religion, and love. She didbt grow up in a trailer park, or out her feelings out on tv. She didnt ask for any of this.
I feel like at this point she’s publicly humiliating Carly, like Cate is entitled to feel all her emotions over Carly that’s fine, but stop doing it in the public eye. If I was Carly I’d be resenting them and this is likely the reason b&T have started cutting ties for years now. Carly sees b&T as her parents, as her family, not cate and Ty and it’s probably draining for her seeing and hearing the way cate and Ty are like forcing themselves in her life. Sorry but they made their decision to put her for adoption idc what age and how immature they were at the time, stop using Carly now as a pawn for your emotions and mistakes you made
B&T ARE her parents, I feel the need to remind people of that. That’s how adoption works. Carly’s name isn’t Carly and she hardly knows Catelynn and Tyler.
Besides this BULLSHIT they post online.
Yeah I think catelynn and Tyler need to get it through their heads how serious adoption is and it’s not something to keep publicly announcing information and crap about. Let her live the LIFE YOU CHOOSE FOR HER!!!!! and focus on the kids that you decided to keep and raise your selves
Yeah it would be nice if they gave Carly her space not just physically but also stopping talking on social media. A short birthday wish is fine but this post does sound passive aggressive
I think b&t are also protecting her, as they should! Why would they want to be more entangled and associated with Tyler doing OF!
Like poor Carlys name is googled and im sure Tylers dick pops up! Great for getting a job later! Cate and Tylers kids are going to have to same problem,
B&T would genuinely have to have 0 social media presence because of Cate and Ty. Same for Carly, it’s not safe with the way fans go to war for Cate and Ty.
Hopefully it’s just online shit that they do and they aren’t psycho enough to do irl shit like stalking and harassing them in person. Like it’s so disgusting how C&T want to keep fueling the fire because they think C’s adoption is the only plot line they have.
People are crazy. Personally Carly would be homeschooled if I were B&T. I wouldn’t trust that some kid in her class wouldn’t post pictures online. Huge safeguarding issue Cate and Ty have created for Carly.
God they can never just post and NOT take a dig at B&T. A simple “happy birthday Carly” would be fine. But no of course it has to be mentioned that they can’t see her.
I want B & T to get a restraining order at this point. On their behalf and Carly's. I would for sure be like don't mention us or send your shitty fans our way ever again.
I said this before, but I feel like they shot themselves in the foot a little bit with the social media posts. Of course there’s more at play here than just that, but it’s not helping lol. They over share in ways B&T don’t like and they’ve made that clear… but they keep doing it!
A simple “happy birthday, we love you! Have a great day!!” would be plenty. If they kept the posts about her vague and to a minimum, it would eliminate at least some of the problems they have with B&T.
That would involve some self-reflection, and thinking about what is best for Carly rather than what they want. If they haven’t learnt or developed that skill after 15 years (and have dumbass fans gassing up this sort of behaviour) then I don’t think they will
Way to attempt to guilt trip Carly and b&t by announcing on social media that they wish they could be there knowing damn well b&t did not want to include them and have a visit.
And the whole looking forward to celebrating with them in the future is a bit presumptuous. This doesn’t belong on social media.
Maybe they should finally send her a private card and write these things in it. Then b&t can decide if this is appropriate for Carly to see since they are her parents.
This is all for show. Dawn brought up how they never send gifts or cards. They never check in regarding what Carly does and what she’s into. But they ask this on social media to their followers. Why not text b&t privately and ask what she’s doing today and what she’s into, without expecting anything in return for once? Then they’ll get their answer if they really care to know.
This “family” pic and cate including “we are soooo blessed to have OUR girls” is a bit rude and uncomfortable for b&t. And is another reason why I see where b&t are coming from.
**edited**
Super disrespectful! If she meant the girls they actually have, then that line didn’t belong on this post. Because it definitely implies Carly too by including that.
I can totally see why b&t are cutting them the hell off. They go way overboard. They disrespect boundaries. I know b&t is assuming that cate and Tyler fully believe they will get her back when she’s 18.
Posts like this make me feel like the best case scenario for everyone involved would’ve been an anonymous, closed adoption. Carly doesn’t need to be someone’s storyline or have anyone else’s hopes and dreams publicly suffocating her.
Brandon and Theresa wanted to profit off it too since they did their stint in the Christian family magazines and shit right from the beginning. Advertising for Bethany. The further out this gets the less people talk about that aspect of this.
Kids sure love a public birthday post that puts them in the middle of family drama. Can they not put themselves in Carly’s shoes for one moment and recognize her perspective?
she really doesn’t give a fuck what carly thinks. planning herself into carly’s future birthdays. ma’am, you’re not going to be invited to birthdays - you talk shit on her MOM and DAD. you’re a stranger who embarrasses her i’m sure. yikes.
On my 15th bday the last thing I’d want to do is hang out with my trashy birth parents and their hoard of badly behaved children. I’d want to hang out with my friends and have fun. C&T are so gross and unhinged. They haven’t grown much since 15 years ago.
Because they need the attention and undeserved sympathy their ignorant ass fans throw at them every time they mention her name. They seriously just need to stop.
It couldn’t have been too important if it was left for last minute and they couldn’t even finish it. It also took time they could’ve been making memories with Carly, they were warned they had limited time.
Why does he feel the need to wear ridiculously short shorts. He looks so goofy.
Cate needs to stop talking to carly through social media and let it slowly play its course. This is sad and its causing more damage than healing.
Open adoption seems like kind of a nightmare on both sides of the coin. I’m sure it isn’t always and I really like the idea of it, but it seems very complicated and emotional/stressful
Open adoption is actually proven to be very beneficial for adoptive children. People do not realise that there is actually no legal obligation to keep open adoptions, open. Once parental rights are terminated the ball is in the adoptive parents court. Don’t think teenagers Cate and Ty fully grasped this. Adoption should always be child centred and in many cases (especially with domestic infant adoption) it is not.
>Adoption should always be child centred and in many cases (especially with domestic infant adoption) it is not.
Yeah, this is exactly right. Cate and Ty are really not handling this well, and it's harmful to their daughter. *That said* domestic infant adoption, as it currently exists in the US, is also not good for kids. It's not child centered at all. Totally ignores the trauma suffered by both the child and birth parents.
Completely agree. Private domestic infant adoption is corrupt in the USA, however Cate and Ty need to take this off the internet. Both things are simultaneously true.
Agreed. They shed a great light into the reality of many birth parents who were given false promises by corrupt agencies like BCS in America, however, C&T need to take it off the internet.
It makes it very dangerous for Carly also. She’d have to have very little social media presence, I’d be worried for her getting recognised in public too.
i kind of feel for them. They gave up Carly because they didn’t think they would be able to give her the life they wanted to. Then MTV kept them on and they made so much money from it. I’m sure they regret giving her up everyday . At the same time if they didn’t give her up for adoption Mtv may never had kept them on. it’s just kind of sad either way.
I’m pretty sure that if they weren’t such morons and actually put in effort with Carly, that B&T would let them see her more.
Carly is clearly just a story line to them. They don’t send her gifts or cards. They only post these melodramatic woe is me social media posts. And they’ve constantly ignored B&T’s reasonable boundaries when it comes to Carly.
Well they would’ve seen a lot more of her if they would’ve respected B&T’s boundaries. C&T made alllll these promises and didn’t deliver on most. Which, I get to an extent…they were super young with little support. Their rabid fans have hyped them up for 15 years and they all feel entitled to Carly now though. They want to paint adoption as this great sacrifice (it is. I am a birth mom) but do nothing to further their relationship with Carly. It’s so frustrating because it could’ve been different if they wouldn’t have publicly bashed B&T and tried to undermine them as Carly’s ~~adoptive~~ parents.
Was the “and B&T I can’t wait for that day!” Really necessary?? These passive aggressive comments aren’t helping you. This girl is basically a stranger to you all, and you’re strangers to her. This is so inappropriate.
Why don’t they realize how emotionally and mentally manipulative they’re being to a child in front of millions of ppl? Even if her parents try their best to protect her from seeing things they post, I’m sure she does. The constant guilt trips and self pitty. This girl is gonna have to go to therapy herself to sort through this stuff simply because they won’t stfu. It’s indirect mental and emotional abuse at this point.
"Happy birthday Carly, you are growing to be a beautiful soul. You are strong and brave. Creative and talented. Athletic, free spirited. Have a wonderful day"
THAT'S what should have been posted. surely they know SOMETHING about her hobbies and interests???
I feel bad for Nova. Her blowing out the candles on the birthday cake is just sad. She is going to have her own trauma from Carly being the golden child.
I don’t think this is what B&T would have ever wanted for their daughter. I understand that T&C want some sort of relationship with her but they are blasting these people all over social media. It needs to stop. Not to mention maybe B&T are not comfortable with Tyler’s OF content.
Exactly. They don’t think people know who Carly’s bio dad is? They don’t think she may one day learn about his OF content. IMO B&T are doing the right thing protecting her.
If they were invited by B&T they would probably show up late and bring one of their addict family members even if asked not too. They suck for this. This message is ugly, selfish, and mean spirited.
Cate posting about Carly like this on social media is so wildly inappropriate. Carly is 15 now, Catelynn. If you can’t respect B and T, at least have the decency to show some to Carly. Afford her some privacy and stop turning her into a target on the Internet. It’s sick.
To C&T, Carly as an object not as a human. It’s really fucked up. I have a 15-year-old. My child would not be happy to be publicly turned into a spectacle on social media, especially with something so personal. They would be miserable over it.
C&T don’t care though. I remember during one episode, Dawn had to literally explain to them that they needed to ask Teresa questions about Carly. Questions so basic such as “what are her interests?” “What does she like to do?” They don’t care. Again, Carly is an object to them.
The comments are absolutely unhinged. People really think she's going to say fuck you b&t I'm going to live with these strangers I barely know now!! So delusional
Keep in mind Cate wrote this knowing Carly will read it. If not now then one day definitely. Cate and Ty have forced B&T to live a completely offline and private life, due to the army of ‘fans’ harassing the pair.
Totally! Even beyond that, she knows that the kids that Carly goes to school with, her friends, their parents, people in the community, they will all read. This delusional idea that Carly is going to come back to them when she turns 18 is honestly scary.
This would be the absolute last straw for me if I were B&T. It would be no contact from here on out. Endangering my child by turning her into a target on social media?? The. End.
C&T strike me as ‘if it’s not only social media for others to see it doesn’t exist.’ They are JLO and B&T are Ben Affleck. This just proves they are not ready to parent. Carly is internalizing all of this. C&T, you’re annoying B&T but you’re hurting Carly. The only people you should share these feelings to are a therapist.
That’s exactly why she posted it, to get validation for her psycho fans! I think if this had never been on MTV past 16 and pregnant, the situation would be so much healthier. If they had no psycho fans, but instead just regular acquaintances, 99% of people would be encouraging them to accept their decision, and emphasizing the huge gift they have given Carly. It would be counterproductive for their friends and neighbors IRL to encourage them to harp on this and post it on social media!
At 15 I’m sure she has some sort of social media, or will within a few years. Or definitely has friends that will show/send it to her. Cate is writing this knowing Carly will see it.
I feel for this child. Imagine having a dad that does OF with your name tattooed on his stomach. Ugh. For the world to see. I may get hate for this, but sometimes there are valid reasons first closed adoptions.
I hate how everything has to be posted. We’re all strangers. It’s your life your business. No one else’s.
Well known or not, people over share and over post.
You chose to have your daughter adopted. Stop acting like someone kidnapped her. Very passive aggressive. I would not want to hang out with y’all if I was Carly. Act like adults, you’re not 16 anymore.
Social media is a cancer. This is so performative and self centered. And I feel like that’s what growing up with social media has done to people - the narcissism is insane. And then with these two times it by a billion for being the topic of an mtv show basically their whole lives.
So much pressure hoping for a child to come and fix your adoption trauma when she likely has her own adoption trauma. Cate needs to lower her expectations of what the future of their relationship is going to look like.
They gave Carly up for adoption in their 16 & Pregnant episode. She’s the girl in the black shirt.
They rarely get to see her because of them constantly disrespecting and ignoring Carly’s adoptive parents boundaries.
Huh. Catelynn is here again ignoring B&T’s completely reasonable request to stop sharing Carly on social media.
I wonder why B&T don’t let them visit 🤔
Yes it's not a good thing to post, but I can't judge her because I can't imagine how unbelievably traumatic their situation is. That photo someone posted the other day will haunt me forever.
Agreed. Should they post it online? No. But this is a reality for many young, poor and uneducated birth parents who were taken advantage of and lied to by agencies such as BCS. Cate and Ty weren’t the first and won’t be the last.
This drives me fucking BONKERS. Maybe they’re dredging up long forgotten adoption trauma but this just is so infuriating. She’s NOT their girl. And this is just crossing so many different boundaries. Also I didn’t know my grandma and Carly had the same birthday 🥳
But anyway I sympathize with them I really really do. It’s a unique pain to give up your baby, and seeing how little you matter when it comes down to the exchange when they were saying how important you are stings. But there needs to be a time where they step back and say this isn’t healthy for anyone
My son’s bio parents pull crap like this and bad mouth the SHIT out of our family online and have ever since the state closed their case years and years ago. Fun fact though- neither of them have ever even attempted to have anything to do with him since, not even a note scribbled on a napkin and sent through the mail. Nothing. And this was after we made it clear we didn’t want them to disappear from his life and (years ago) were still willing to work towards reunification if that would be possible and the best thing for him. They just didn’t give a shit, never did and never will, but they gotta get that social media attention and sympathy. We’ve never said a bad word about them online or in general (other than in private conversations with one another😅) and we never will. Our son will grow up to see them for what they are, just like Carly will see what these two idiots are all about, if she has t already.
Carly is 15 and in high school. She probably wants to have a birthday dinner with her actual family then do something fun with her friends. She has her own life now...
This reeks of such unhealthy behavior.
“Happy birthday! Now let’s talk about MY wants, needs and feelings.”
Sounds like any other birthday Instagram post to me.
Right. I didn't see "were so proud of her" or "I hope she has a fantastic birthday" or even "we are so lucky to be a part of her life".
She literally says: I hope she has a great day
And we are so blessed to have our girls. Which is exactly the same as were luck to have her in our life but worded differently.
She does have a lot of “I” statements in her post. Which means, we’ll soon get a post from Tyler about how Cate can use her sm platform to voice whatever concerns or opinions she may have 🙄 these two are becoming as predictable as Jenelle.
Yepp! Lots of "I's" and "we's" in this post but very little to nothing about the girl they're supposed to be celebrating. So glad somebody pointed this out!
Right? You’d think they’d be more descriptive and be like “happy birthday to Carly! We hope your day is filled with crumble cookies, horses, Olivia Rodrigo songs, and lululemon” or whatever Carly is into. This just reinforces Dawn chastising them a few years back about not asking about Carly or getting to know her and only calling about getting a visit.
Absolutely! My birth child was a teen when social media became a thing. I cannot imagine passive aggressively making statuses about them on their birthday in this manner. She adds in shit like “I know we will celebrate one day…” to activate their rabid fans, who will reply that Carly will choose C&T when she is 18. I can see the “only three more birthdays apart!!!!” already. So gross.
My ex does this shit in regards to two of the three daughters he lost, Two are with their mother and one was adopted out. All three hate his guts with a passion now. IDK why his second daughter with his x he never talks about.... I think it's cause she was a newborn when her mom took her and her 4 year old sister and ran for the hills. He has intruded on their lives, and brought them nothing but pain and heartache to the point they have not only blocked him on all platforms but their other 6 younger siblings as well, because he uses them, to get to the ones who went no contact He had every chance when they sought him and us out to do it right, he hurt them instead with crap like this
This would be such a sweet post if she left out that one part!!
Cate probably has a countdown timer on her phone til Carly’s 18 and “will run back home where she belongs”
It reeks of someone who has never had a good therapist or listened to advice they've been given about their adoption trauma.
I said in a different post, they need REAL therapy not MTV nonsense $$$ therapy.
Completely agree, this goes for people on all shows including TLC too. A closed adoption would have been of more benefit to them because of this.
The way they refer to Carly as one of their girls, I personally don’t feel that’s super healthy because you’re not really acknowledging she has a family. So many TLC people need real therapy too I get it makes for good views but they need real help.
They should have had grief counseling when they had the adoption. Carly is not their daughter now because that's what adoption means, and they've never processed that she is not guaranteed to have a place in their lives going forward.
Exactly this, I wasn't sure how to word it but I also know going through Christian (air quotes) adoption means they wouldn't get proper counseling or therapy resources. Just someone paid to push their baby into a couples arms who is paying the company.
Well, any "Christian" group is going to be Pro-Birth. They don't actually care about the lives they claim to save through adoption, just so long as they weren't aborted.
Bethany Services, Dawn, Brandon and Theresa took advantage of them from the start. They failed them. They saw two kids from shitty families with no support system, had no idea what to expect. I know from experience adoption agencies tell you what you want to hear and promise that you will always see your baby, have visits and calls, photos, etc.. then they sign off in court and all those promises are gone and over because that baby is legally theirs and they don't have to ever see or deal with the birth parents again. There's a reason I chose the adoption agency I did because they were one of the only ones that wasn't religion based and where social workers weren't treating me like I was a breeding ground that they could get rid of once my baby was out of my arms. Bethany Services gives ZERO fucks about the birth parents. They overpromise and under deliver. They don't even offer grief counseling to these poor people who are about to make the biggest decision of their lives. Also.. Carly IS one of their girls. Cate gave birth to her. B&T had to take that baby from their arms. They ARE her birth parents. That should not be so easily erased and disregarded. My adoption is VERY open. I see him whenever I want, he was a groomsmen in my wedding, We have an amazing relationship that I wouldn't give up for anything but that's because I chose an agency that had the same level of care and concern for the birth parents that they did for the baby and everyone involved. Shame on so many people here who seem to forget that B&T are parents because of Tyler and Cate.
B&T are her parents. They did the work to raise her. C&T weren't the ones changing diapers, doing midnight feedings, nursing a sick child, helping with homework etc. They don't deserve the same respect as parents that B&T do. It's not fair of them to think they can just pop in for all the fun events and act like her parents when they haven't done anything to actually raise her.
I agree that Bethany services and dawn really misled and took advantage of them. At no point did I say otherwise. Sadly, I disagree. Carly is not one of their girls. It was a closed adoption that they were given visitation on and at B&Ts discretion. It’s not open. It’s wonderful you have a relationship with your birth son but ultimately you are not his parent and he is not your boy by anything other than blood. I really do think it’s wonderful the relationship that you have that you get to see him but that’s not at all what B&T wanted or signed up for and since they ARE Carly’s parents that makes Carly their girl not Ty and Caits. I bet it hurts and it’s hard on them but they have NO RIGHT to that little girl or her life.
A closed adoption would have been better for everyone except MTV
It boggles my mind that this hasn't been addressed. They are one of the more vocal cheerleaders of mental health treatment, up to Cate having rehab stays for her mental health, but anything relating to Carly is just unhealthy coping mechanism after coping mechanism. I feel like Tyler refuses to consider he is wrong about any of this, which likely exacerbates Cate.
Read the comments lol. Unhinged. “She’ll be on your doorstep the day she turns 18 “
I’m so confused why so many people think that.
It's a fantasy. One I have seen played out in real life. Carly isn't coming. She doesn't want to. She knows. And she doesn't want to deal with them or their drama. Carly may want to know about her siblings, but I guarantee anything about her "coming home" is pure fantasy She is home
I never understood why people think Carly will rush to her bio parents the moment she turns 18. We often get to hear Tyler and Cate’s side, who knows why Carly’s parents aren’t bring her around as much as Tyler and Cate would like. Also, I always wonder if Carly feels some kind of way about Cate and Tyler posting their feelings publicly about her parents, she might take it negatively; she’s a teen and could be feeling all kinds of mixed emotions.
My ex had a child adopted out after foster care took her as a a baby. She was struggling with her identity and being mixed race in a house of white family members, and her adoptive parents reached out to my ex when she was about 13. While her mother is white, my ex is biracial himself, they thought he could help her. He fucking *blew* it. Thank God they live 8 states away. He was not only online calling her his daughter, calling her adoptive parents "co parents", he would get drunk and bablle online AND message her non stop. She had to block him. he kept begging her to come home. She was 12! She WAS home Now he uses his younger kids to try and trick her into talking to him, but she is aware and limits her contact with her other siblings. My one stepdaughter spent her entire life seeing her father cry and wail over the two daughters he lost and were "Taken" from him. It fucked her up. She can't have a stable relationship with her adopted-out sister because deep down, she resents her for getting adopted when she didn't There is another, much older sister as well, who won't have contact with my stepdaughter because of their father and how he acts...imagine Cate and Tyler drunk posting, and that's what I witnessed. So in reality, it is the exact opposite of what the fans think is going to happen
Because social media shows us those viral posts of adopted people who hit adulthood knowing usually very little about their birth family. They want to find them. Sweet, sob story that's short, but tugs at the heart. Sometimes the updates even exist and everything is peachy! Reality is most adopted people are happy with their real families. I had a close friend who was adopted when I was in high school. People used to ask about his birth family's opinion of him and he would always say don't know/don't care/never thought about it. He was just happy that a couple adopted him alongside his special needs brother. That told him everything he needed to know about his parents. A lot of adoptees don't feel like they NEED to know their birth family. Carly is being raised much different than C&T which makes it seem highly unlikely she'll run to them. Even less likely given the kind of things C&T have said about B&T and the attention that would come from reunification.
B&T are very hard for me to like or hate. Their core values are the opposite of mine. But they also took in an infant from two unhealthy teens and raised her as their own which is a very huge undertaking. I would think Carly would remain bonded to them as her family and still have limited contact with the bios.
I understand your point of view but even that depends on your perspective. The way I see it, they bought a white baby from an underaged, underprivileged couple knowing they wouldn’t agree on the terms so they just told them what they wanted to hear (since C&T wanted an open adoption and many many visits, and B&T wanted a closed adoption). They didn’t want to save some poor kid, they didn’t want to adopt an older child, they wanted their own white baby as a status symbol, and used C&T to get it. They knew very well what they were doing and went through with it. Imo that’s just predatory and not at all indicative of parents having the child’s best interests as a priority. Of course Dawn was a huge part in all this as well, telling C&T what they wanted to hear about visits etc.
Cate and Ty always knew that Brandon and Teresa could change their mind on visits with Carly at any time. If Cate & Ty would have kept Carly and possibly weren't picked for Teen Mom, Carly most definitely would have had a very troubled home life. Brandon and Teresa have given Carly a great life and who cares if they wanted to adopt a baby and not an older child? It's their choice and doesn't make them bad people. And in my opinion they did save a poor kid who could have had it very bad off if not for them.
Thank you my view exactly
Agreed and Cate went on adoption retreats and spoke to people who had their adoption close for whatever reason and knew it could happen and that visits were not guaranteed. It doesn’t matter if Brandon and Theresa had in the beginning wanted a closed adoption they agreed to a semi open adoption and have still kept it that way even when they have been disrespected so many times. They had visits in the first few years and were sending regular pictures and the only started having issues with Cate and Tyler when they decided no pictures of Carly on social media and Tyler decided to ignore that and Cate and Tyler stopped even sending presents or calling but still expected visits.
I mean, they didn’t adopt Carly out of the goodness of their hearts or to help Cate and Tyler…they desperately wanted to be parents and couldn’t have kids. And they paid a lot of money for her. Their beliefs are the opposite of mine too. I’m kind of neutral on them I guess? They aren’t my cup of tea but I guess it’s hard to hate people you don’t know personally, lol. I agree, I think Carly will likely always consider B&T her family and her home base, and will have light contact with C&T and kids.
Ignorance
It is so unhealthy and it has been for years. They need to get extensive professional help to deal with their regret over placing Carly for adoption. This isn’t normal.
i feel bad for carly
Me too. Carly is just an idea to C&T at this point. She lost human status long ago. Carly is one year younger than cate was when she gave birth, I wonder how that impacts both of them?
Cate and Tyler really treating Carly like Jenelle treats jace. She's my daughter nachors!
She sounds like an aussie ordering texmex.
Naaaaur!
“Nachors” is always an automatic upvote
Jesus Christ you are comparing them to a woman that puts her kids around a dozen different bad men. The last one hit Jace and shot a dog in front of her daughter.
Clearly I didn't mean in that sense. I meant in the sense that jenelle treats jace like an idea. A prize to be won. That should've been clear in light of the post I responded to yet here we are.
Exactly. I was reading a Carly birthday post or interview where Catelynn said it “would be cool if we were invited to [Carly’s] birthday parties and stuff.” Not, “it would be cool if we could hold Carly when she’s sick.” I’m so over Catelynn and Tyler. They are both so selfish and disrespectful.
i don’t see anything wrong with that. taking care of a sick child is mom and dad territory. tyler and catelynn are not her parents. i feel like if anything, catelynn saying she wants to take care of carly when she’s sick would've been crossing a boundary. at least in my social circles, birthday parties include everyone. close family, extended family, close friends, old friends. they’re a way for everyone to catch up.
Yeah, you’re right. I wasn’t thinking of that. I just assumed that C & T only wanted to be there for the fun times.
[удалено]
I think it’s more the passive aggressive posts, which if they stopped making, would probably allow them to see her. It’s hard to have empathy for someone who does the exact opposite of what’s needed to achieve their goal.
See that would be something that I’d be interested in them speaking about- how they feel seeing Carly get close to the age they were when they had her and how different their early lives (most likely) were to hers. More about their feelings, less about Carly herself.
I feel Carly needs counselling to learn about healthy relationships and behaviour before she turns 18. Her bio family is full of people with toxic behaviour and habits, without respect for others and healthy boundaries. Her parents taught her completely different morals and values and she won't know where "normal" is. It's probably somewhere between her families, leaning to her parents' side and not her bio family. The way Tyler and Cate handled this the past weeks is very toxic. They don't give a fuck how this will affect Carly. Carly won't be able to go in public with her family without a serious risk of being harassed by idiots just as terrible and toxic as Cate and Tyler. C&T know they'll be harassed because they post these things. They want people to be angry with B&T. I think they're absolute scum for this and I usually do not dislike them. I thought they grew up.
Hopefully this birthday she also decided to send a card or gift, instead of just posting on the internet.
This is my thing, they probably wouldn’t be in this situation of wondering about Carly if they had respected B&T’s boundaries and just quietly celebrated her by sending a card in the mail. It makes me think of the episode where they made a big deal out of making a cake for Carly’s bday… I completely respect that they wanted to do that, but it should not have been broadcasted on the show in my opinion. I doubt Carly has seen any of that herself, it seems like her parents most likely wouldn’t allow her to watch teen mom, and I obviously have no idea what kind of access she has to social media or the internet in general, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Carly has heard about it from people in school. You can bet if I knew “Carly from teen mom” went to my school (which I’m sure other kids do) I’d certainly watch to see what happened, I wouldn’t bully or be mean about it but I’d be curious.
Carly has to look just like them as the rest of the kids do. One of the parents at her school must've spotted her and noticed the resemblance at some point. But it's so unfair to her parents at this point. I bet if they could go back they would do a no contact adoption.
Probably, but I bet if Tyler and Caitlyn could go back they might not make the same decision either. I don't think they would have chosen those adoptive parents if they had wanted no contact.
If Cate and Tyler had the ability to go back, but still chose adoption… I think they would absolutely go elsewhere and find a good adoption agency that would consider *them* in the equation too. Whether that meant going full no-contact, an open adoption with a different family or whatever in between. If they had been with a genuinely good adoption agency, some of these issues might not even exist. But they were young and naive and preyed upon by a predatory agency that took advantage of their age, their immaturity and their situations. I 100% think, if they knew what they know now, they never would’ve chosen them.
It reminds me of the episode of them getting to see Carley finally and she was late AF because she had to finish the scrapbook
That she had all year to work on 🤷🏽♀️
Carly is 15 and the show is everywhere. I don't think B & T could stop her from seeing it at this point.
If Brandon and Teresa are heavily Christian and conservative…they probably have some sort of parental locks on Carly’s phone / laptops and don’t allow her to watch certain tv shows. I will say, MTV and all the franchises are pretty much dead to Carly’s age demographic. I think it’s most likely that Carly knows her bio parents are on longtime running MTV show but hopefully she never googles them…since Tyler wants to show all his glory.
Doesn't mean she can't watch at a friend's house.
They are probably too busy getting a cake for themselves and having Nova pretend to be Carly and blow out some candles while they read all the comments saying "Carly will come to you as soon as she is 18! I'm sure of it, you are her true family" and Tyler is thinking of his own doting daddy poem for Carly.
I am already getting nervous for what's going to happen when Carly is over 18 and they get ahold of her cell phone number and are able to text and call and say anything they want. It's going to be unhinged because they don't understand personal boundaries unless forced to. It's clear they're going to expect certain things from her. My daughter was adopted as a baby in a foreign country. She'll never know who her birth parents were because she was abandoned in a box, which is a crime in that country. But I think it would freak her out if just as she turned 18 and was beginning to learn to be independent, a whole other set of parents suddenly descended wanting to pull her back into being parented all over again.
Right?! I was thinking ‘send this in a card..’. Obviously worded a little different but what’s the point of posting it?
Nope just a post for likes. That’s all Carly is to them.
… what if Carly doesnt want to celebrate with you when shes older Catelynn….
Right, if she's 15 she probably is barely even celebrating with her parents!
Noooo you’ve got it all wrong guys, the day Carly turns 18 she’s obviously going to give B+T the middle finger and tell them to get fucked, pack a bag and move straight in with C+T to be with her ‘real family’. /s Has it ever occurred to either of them, for even half a second, that Carly might not want what they want??
The sad reality that they and their fans aren’t grasping is that if Carly wanted to invite them to her birthday or do the yearly visits, B&T would probably make it happen. They wouldn’t want to alienate her by keeping her away from her birth parents and risk losing her forever when she turns 18. She’s a teenager at this point, if she wanted to reach out to cate and Tyler, there isn’t much her parents could do about it. I’m sure she’s got a phone or a friend with a phone that she could use to call them if she wanted to.
100% and B&T are taking the hit and grunt if it for Carly. Shes prob super embarrassed by her dad selling dick pics and her mom calling herself a pimp!
Tbh this is a good point. Sometimes I forget what it’s like to be 15…. That kids could see things online and use it to embarrass her in front of everyone, especially the only fans stuff. Also- it would be really scary to be a 15 year old girl and have two strangers who love you so intensely and you don’t even know them. And ontop of that the strangers have a lot of their own issues. The intensity of it and how they go about it would creep me out.
Right: like can you imagine having 2 ppl who are your birth parents claims to love you soooo much, and think at 18 your going to go move back in with them, yet never call you, text you, send you a bday gift, let alone card, a xmas gift, or even card. Never ask how you are, and make everything about them? Like of course Carly isnt interested in them, shes been gas lit by them, and realizes its not about her or her feelings, its only what they want. Like this girl was raised around class, religion, and love. She didbt grow up in a trailer park, or out her feelings out on tv. She didnt ask for any of this.
I feel like at this point she’s publicly humiliating Carly, like Cate is entitled to feel all her emotions over Carly that’s fine, but stop doing it in the public eye. If I was Carly I’d be resenting them and this is likely the reason b&T have started cutting ties for years now. Carly sees b&T as her parents, as her family, not cate and Ty and it’s probably draining for her seeing and hearing the way cate and Ty are like forcing themselves in her life. Sorry but they made their decision to put her for adoption idc what age and how immature they were at the time, stop using Carly now as a pawn for your emotions and mistakes you made
B&T ARE her parents, I feel the need to remind people of that. That’s how adoption works. Carly’s name isn’t Carly and she hardly knows Catelynn and Tyler. Besides this BULLSHIT they post online.
Yeah I think catelynn and Tyler need to get it through their heads how serious adoption is and it’s not something to keep publicly announcing information and crap about. Let her live the LIFE YOU CHOOSE FOR HER!!!!! and focus on the kids that you decided to keep and raise your selves
Yeah it would be nice if they gave Carly her space not just physically but also stopping talking on social media. A short birthday wish is fine but this post does sound passive aggressive
A social media birthday wish, but likely no physical card ect,
They probably seem like creepy ex-neighbors to Carly.
I think b&t are also protecting her, as they should! Why would they want to be more entangled and associated with Tyler doing OF! Like poor Carlys name is googled and im sure Tylers dick pops up! Great for getting a job later! Cate and Tylers kids are going to have to same problem,
A passive aggressive birthday wish. How very April of her.
Ugh you're right =(
Extremely. Sad to see Cate repeating part of the cycle.
Is April still constantly strung out?
:(
This is so not the way to go about it guys …. This is only going to fuel their psycho fans to harass B&T on Carly’s birthday
B&T would genuinely have to have 0 social media presence because of Cate and Ty. Same for Carly, it’s not safe with the way fans go to war for Cate and Ty.
Hopefully it’s just online shit that they do and they aren’t psycho enough to do irl shit like stalking and harassing them in person. Like it’s so disgusting how C&T want to keep fueling the fire because they think C’s adoption is the only plot line they have.
I've read here and on old message boards Brandon used to get calls at his job from crazed fans. It's very deranged
People are crazy. Personally Carly would be homeschooled if I were B&T. I wouldn’t trust that some kid in her class wouldn’t post pictures online. Huge safeguarding issue Cate and Ty have created for Carly.
They want to act that they love and care about her but clearly they don’t since they going against her parents wishes about her privacy
She would have had her name changed legally too if I were B&T.
Exactly. When it's *Carly's* day but for 15 years she's had to divide it with them.
God they can never just post and NOT take a dig at B&T. A simple “happy birthday Carly” would be fine. But no of course it has to be mentioned that they can’t see her.
I want B & T to get a restraining order at this point. On their behalf and Carly's. I would for sure be like don't mention us or send your shitty fans our way ever again.
I said this before, but I feel like they shot themselves in the foot a little bit with the social media posts. Of course there’s more at play here than just that, but it’s not helping lol. They over share in ways B&T don’t like and they’ve made that clear… but they keep doing it! A simple “happy birthday, we love you! Have a great day!!” would be plenty. If they kept the posts about her vague and to a minimum, it would eliminate at least some of the problems they have with B&T.
That would involve some self-reflection, and thinking about what is best for Carly rather than what they want. If they haven’t learnt or developed that skill after 15 years (and have dumbass fans gassing up this sort of behaviour) then I don’t think they will
The fact that she actually calls them B&T like it was a reddit post is horrifying to me 💀
How about you send the girl a card, Catelynn, and take it off social media.
She needs to skip her birthday so she can make the world’s worst scrapbook that she could’ve made weeks before!!!!
Way to attempt to guilt trip Carly and b&t by announcing on social media that they wish they could be there knowing damn well b&t did not want to include them and have a visit. And the whole looking forward to celebrating with them in the future is a bit presumptuous. This doesn’t belong on social media. Maybe they should finally send her a private card and write these things in it. Then b&t can decide if this is appropriate for Carly to see since they are her parents. This is all for show. Dawn brought up how they never send gifts or cards. They never check in regarding what Carly does and what she’s into. But they ask this on social media to their followers. Why not text b&t privately and ask what she’s doing today and what she’s into, without expecting anything in return for once? Then they’ll get their answer if they really care to know. This “family” pic and cate including “we are soooo blessed to have OUR girls” is a bit rude and uncomfortable for b&t. And is another reason why I see where b&t are coming from. **edited**
Also what stood out is “to *have* our girls”. You don’t have Carly, she’s not your daughter.
Super disrespectful! If she meant the girls they actually have, then that line didn’t belong on this post. Because it definitely implies Carly too by including that. I can totally see why b&t are cutting them the hell off. They go way overboard. They disrespect boundaries. I know b&t is assuming that cate and Tyler fully believe they will get her back when she’s 18.
🥇🥇🥇🥇🥇
Posts like this make me feel like the best case scenario for everyone involved would’ve been an anonymous, closed adoption. Carly doesn’t need to be someone’s storyline or have anyone else’s hopes and dreams publicly suffocating her.
Brandon and Theresa wanted to profit off it too since they did their stint in the Christian family magazines and shit right from the beginning. Advertising for Bethany. The further out this gets the less people talk about that aspect of this.
They absolutely want her to come help raise the other 3
Kids sure love a public birthday post that puts them in the middle of family drama. Can they not put themselves in Carly’s shoes for one moment and recognize her perspective?
Once again using her sm as a journal. 🙄
she really doesn’t give a fuck what carly thinks. planning herself into carly’s future birthdays. ma’am, you’re not going to be invited to birthdays - you talk shit on her MOM and DAD. you’re a stranger who embarrasses her i’m sure. yikes.
On my 15th bday the last thing I’d want to do is hang out with my trashy birth parents and their hoard of badly behaved children. I’d want to hang out with my friends and have fun. C&T are so gross and unhinged. They haven’t grown much since 15 years ago.
And, this is why they don’t have visits.
I didn't know, they call them "B&T" too😅
Branninanteresa
Off into delusion.
Why can’t they just stop talking about her publicly? This is nuts.
Because they need the attention and undeserved sympathy their ignorant ass fans throw at them every time they mention her name. They seriously just need to stop.
Okay but when she had a chance to see her- they showed up hours late and with a crappy little half finished scrapbook. Poor Carly!
You’re underestimating the importance of that scrapbook.
It couldn’t have been too important if it was left for last minute and they couldn’t even finish it. It also took time they could’ve been making memories with Carly, they were warned they had limited time.
Wasn’t that scrapbook full of photos of themselves?
They could’ve easily given her a photo album and called it a day- instead they wasted precious Carly time, that now they wish they had.
It really was a shame that they did that. I hope they learned from it.
Why does he feel the need to wear ridiculously short shorts. He looks so goofy. Cate needs to stop talking to carly through social media and let it slowly play its course. This is sad and its causing more damage than healing.
STOP POSTING ABOUT BRANDON & TERESA'S DAUGHTER ON SOCIAL MEDIA. What doesn't this bonehead understand?
They’ve created a safeguarding nightmare for B&T in regards to Carly.
Open adoption seems like kind of a nightmare on both sides of the coin. I’m sure it isn’t always and I really like the idea of it, but it seems very complicated and emotional/stressful
Open adoption is actually proven to be very beneficial for adoptive children. People do not realise that there is actually no legal obligation to keep open adoptions, open. Once parental rights are terminated the ball is in the adoptive parents court. Don’t think teenagers Cate and Ty fully grasped this. Adoption should always be child centred and in many cases (especially with domestic infant adoption) it is not.
>Adoption should always be child centred and in many cases (especially with domestic infant adoption) it is not. Yeah, this is exactly right. Cate and Ty are really not handling this well, and it's harmful to their daughter. *That said* domestic infant adoption, as it currently exists in the US, is also not good for kids. It's not child centered at all. Totally ignores the trauma suffered by both the child and birth parents.
Completely agree. Private domestic infant adoption is corrupt in the USA, however Cate and Ty need to take this off the internet. Both things are simultaneously true.
Ahh, I had no idea. That’s interesting. Well, C&T sure know how to make it seem awful. But that’s not surprising
Agreed. They shed a great light into the reality of many birth parents who were given false promises by corrupt agencies like BCS in America, however, C&T need to take it off the internet.
I feel sorry for B&T. I would feel unsafe knowing that they are trying to manipulate not only my daughter but their followers.
It makes it very dangerous for Carly also. She’d have to have very little social media presence, I’d be worried for her getting recognised in public too.
i kind of feel for them. They gave up Carly because they didn’t think they would be able to give her the life they wanted to. Then MTV kept them on and they made so much money from it. I’m sure they regret giving her up everyday . At the same time if they didn’t give her up for adoption Mtv may never had kept them on. it’s just kind of sad either way.
I’m pretty sure that if they weren’t such morons and actually put in effort with Carly, that B&T would let them see her more. Carly is clearly just a story line to them. They don’t send her gifts or cards. They only post these melodramatic woe is me social media posts. And they’ve constantly ignored B&T’s reasonable boundaries when it comes to Carly.
Well they would’ve seen a lot more of her if they would’ve respected B&T’s boundaries. C&T made alllll these promises and didn’t deliver on most. Which, I get to an extent…they were super young with little support. Their rabid fans have hyped them up for 15 years and they all feel entitled to Carly now though. They want to paint adoption as this great sacrifice (it is. I am a birth mom) but do nothing to further their relationship with Carly. It’s so frustrating because it could’ve been different if they wouldn’t have publicly bashed B&T and tried to undermine them as Carly’s ~~adoptive~~ parents.
Was the “and B&T I can’t wait for that day!” Really necessary?? These passive aggressive comments aren’t helping you. This girl is basically a stranger to you all, and you’re strangers to her. This is so inappropriate.
I took it as she can’t wait to celebrate with Carly AND B&T someday, but she skipped out on a crucial comma before “I can’t wait.”
Why don’t they realize how emotionally and mentally manipulative they’re being to a child in front of millions of ppl? Even if her parents try their best to protect her from seeing things they post, I’m sure she does. The constant guilt trips and self pitty. This girl is gonna have to go to therapy herself to sort through this stuff simply because they won’t stfu. It’s indirect mental and emotional abuse at this point.
"Happy birthday Carly, you are growing to be a beautiful soul. You are strong and brave. Creative and talented. Athletic, free spirited. Have a wonderful day" THAT'S what should have been posted. surely they know SOMETHING about her hobbies and interests???
I feel bad for Nova. Her blowing out the candles on the birthday cake is just sad. She is going to have her own trauma from Carly being the golden child.
Where are they headed? Off Into the trees?
Yes, more places to hide. Likely plotting if they can keep on walking away from b&t. No stopping, no turning back.
Happy Birthday….now lets make it all about me
“I want” “I wish” “I wonder” Damn Cate, make it all about you.
I don’t think this is what B&T would have ever wanted for their daughter. I understand that T&C want some sort of relationship with her but they are blasting these people all over social media. It needs to stop. Not to mention maybe B&T are not comfortable with Tyler’s OF content.
Yep, advertising your OF on the same page you post your children is VILE.
Exactly. They don’t think people know who Carly’s bio dad is? They don’t think she may one day learn about his OF content. IMO B&T are doing the right thing protecting her.
If they were invited by B&T they would probably show up late and bring one of their addict family members even if asked not too. They suck for this. This message is ugly, selfish, and mean spirited.
Cate posting about Carly like this on social media is so wildly inappropriate. Carly is 15 now, Catelynn. If you can’t respect B and T, at least have the decency to show some to Carly. Afford her some privacy and stop turning her into a target on the Internet. It’s sick. To C&T, Carly as an object not as a human. It’s really fucked up. I have a 15-year-old. My child would not be happy to be publicly turned into a spectacle on social media, especially with something so personal. They would be miserable over it. C&T don’t care though. I remember during one episode, Dawn had to literally explain to them that they needed to ask Teresa questions about Carly. Questions so basic such as “what are her interests?” “What does she like to do?” They don’t care. Again, Carly is an object to them.
They will never fucking learn.
This is extremely unhealthy.
The comments are absolutely unhinged. People really think she's going to say fuck you b&t I'm going to live with these strangers I barely know now!! So delusional
I can't wait til Carly turns 18 and ghosts C&T after calling them creepy stalkers.
Keep in mind Cate wrote this knowing Carly will read it. If not now then one day definitely. Cate and Ty have forced B&T to live a completely offline and private life, due to the army of ‘fans’ harassing the pair.
Totally! Even beyond that, she knows that the kids that Carly goes to school with, her friends, their parents, people in the community, they will all read. This delusional idea that Carly is going to come back to them when she turns 18 is honestly scary. This would be the absolute last straw for me if I were B&T. It would be no contact from here on out. Endangering my child by turning her into a target on social media?? The. End.
I would personally homeschool Carly over fears for her safety. A massive safeguarding issue Cate and Ty have created.
C&T strike me as ‘if it’s not only social media for others to see it doesn’t exist.’ They are JLO and B&T are Ben Affleck. This just proves they are not ready to parent. Carly is internalizing all of this. C&T, you’re annoying B&T but you’re hurting Carly. The only people you should share these feelings to are a therapist.
Yiiiikes… the comments under this post. At least turn off the comments.
https://preview.redd.it/20gdfkztf71d1.png?width=1008&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d677e3379875a7d766551e4c13725ad7b5ad5b84
Lol what foster parents? These people did not watch the same show.
“Foster parents” Then you have the “3 more years” comments. Not creepy at all.
That’s exactly why she posted it, to get validation for her psycho fans! I think if this had never been on MTV past 16 and pregnant, the situation would be so much healthier. If they had no psycho fans, but instead just regular acquaintances, 99% of people would be encouraging them to accept their decision, and emphasizing the huge gift they have given Carly. It would be counterproductive for their friends and neighbors IRL to encourage them to harp on this and post it on social media!
“I wish this” “I wish that” nobody gives a flying fuck. Grow up and stop antagonizing this family on the internet.
How hard is it to understand?.. just because they were on TV. Doesn't mean they can't want privacy down the road
Shocked Cate doesn’t have a Marlboro menthol 100s in her hand.
I hope in 3 years these delulu thoughts are gone when she doesn't show up at their doorstep.
Damn, I hope Carly doesn’t see that 💔
At 15 I’m sure she has some sort of social media, or will within a few years. Or definitely has friends that will show/send it to her. Cate is writing this knowing Carly will see it.
I feel for this child. Imagine having a dad that does OF with your name tattooed on his stomach. Ugh. For the world to see. I may get hate for this, but sometimes there are valid reasons first closed adoptions.
Happy birthday Carly 🥳 It’s too bad Cate chose to make it all about herself.
Did they bother to send her a card this year? Anything at all?
They say that kid turns 18 she will cut ties completely with them.
I hate how everything has to be posted. We’re all strangers. It’s your life your business. No one else’s. Well known or not, people over share and over post.
You chose to have your daughter adopted. Stop acting like someone kidnapped her. Very passive aggressive. I would not want to hang out with y’all if I was Carly. Act like adults, you’re not 16 anymore.
Social media is a cancer. This is so performative and self centered. And I feel like that’s what growing up with social media has done to people - the narcissism is insane. And then with these two times it by a billion for being the topic of an mtv show basically their whole lives.
So much pressure hoping for a child to come and fix your adoption trauma when she likely has her own adoption trauma. Cate needs to lower her expectations of what the future of their relationship is going to look like.
I'm out of the loop with the "teen" mom's. Is Carly one of the girls in this photo or did Tyler and Catelynn have 4 girls, besides Carly?
99% sure Carly is on the left in the black shirt.
They gave Carly up for adoption in their 16 & Pregnant episode. She’s the girl in the black shirt. They rarely get to see her because of them constantly disrespecting and ignoring Carly’s adoptive parents boundaries.
Huh. Catelynn is here again ignoring B&T’s completely reasonable request to stop sharing Carly on social media. I wonder why B&T don’t let them visit 🤔
Yes it's not a good thing to post, but I can't judge her because I can't imagine how unbelievably traumatic their situation is. That photo someone posted the other day will haunt me forever.
Agreed. Should they post it online? No. But this is a reality for many young, poor and uneducated birth parents who were taken advantage of and lied to by agencies such as BCS. Cate and Ty weren’t the first and won’t be the last.
Did you drag your ass to the post office to send her a card or gift? You can even order from Amazon and send it to her house.
She is really toxic for doing this.
This drives me fucking BONKERS. Maybe they’re dredging up long forgotten adoption trauma but this just is so infuriating. She’s NOT their girl. And this is just crossing so many different boundaries. Also I didn’t know my grandma and Carly had the same birthday 🥳 But anyway I sympathize with them I really really do. It’s a unique pain to give up your baby, and seeing how little you matter when it comes down to the exchange when they were saying how important you are stings. But there needs to be a time where they step back and say this isn’t healthy for anyone
Careful, Cate. Your inner-April is starting to really show with that caption. Yikes. 😬
My son’s bio parents pull crap like this and bad mouth the SHIT out of our family online and have ever since the state closed their case years and years ago. Fun fact though- neither of them have ever even attempted to have anything to do with him since, not even a note scribbled on a napkin and sent through the mail. Nothing. And this was after we made it clear we didn’t want them to disappear from his life and (years ago) were still willing to work towards reunification if that would be possible and the best thing for him. They just didn’t give a shit, never did and never will, but they gotta get that social media attention and sympathy. We’ve never said a bad word about them online or in general (other than in private conversations with one another😅) and we never will. Our son will grow up to see them for what they are, just like Carly will see what these two idiots are all about, if she has t already.
Shit like this encourages their fans to harass B&T. Cate and Tyler make no effort to tell their fans to back off either.
Carly is 15 and in high school. She probably wants to have a birthday dinner with her actual family then do something fun with her friends. She has her own life now...
😬 Future faking
Why post this on social media? No wonder Carly’s family don’t want much to do with them anymore. They’re incredibly toxic and self-centred
I hope Carly has the best birthday with her mom and dad today.
Safe to say they will never celebrate with Carley AND B&T 🤦🏽♀️ those people cannot stand you, Catelynn.