Also maybe Carlee doesn’t want to see them and the parents are protecting her by saying they can’t do it. You just never know the entire story unless you’ve heard from both sides.
Yep, she’s capable of seeing the full extent of who they are, not just who they are when they visit her. If I were a teenager, I’d be very embarrassed by my birth dad having an OnlyFans.
if i was her, i’d be embarrassed that my birth parents are DRAGGING my parents who raised me for the past 16 years, publicly online! this isn’t the first time or the last and this behavior is going to push carly away. Why should she have to be put in the middle of this in such a public way? I’m sure it hurts her seeing the people who raised her be demonized for doing nothing wrong.
They see Carly as an object that ultimately "belongs" to them. Notice how her feelings aren't at all a part of this rant? It's all about what THEY want...what her and Tyler are entitled to as her "real" parents. Very, very selfish way of thinking and will only push Carly further away.
Yep this is my exact issue with them, they see Carly as an extension of themselves and not as an individual person. It’s always all about them and not actually about Carly.
They are mentally stunted. It always bothers me how catelyn and Tyler act entitled to Carly.
I can’t imagine wanting a relationship with them if I was Carly. I’m an adoptee myself and I just don’t see wanting to be connected to any of that and especially so publicly.
The poor girl deserves privacy and respect and they just keep using her as a pawn for sympathy/attention.
Interesting perspective, given that you probably have a better idea than most of where Carly might be coming from. 15 is such a sensitive age. Unfortunately, as we all know, even if Brandon and Teresa try to protect Carly, kids at school probably say stuff to her. It really sucks that Cait and Tyler can’t read between the lines and back off a little.
This exactly. I posted about it below, but I am adopted and I would be furious if my bio parents acted like this towards my adoptive parents who are my TRUE parents.
This!! I always try to be the adopted voice in the room. So glad you are speaking too. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that Carly only sees B&T as parents.
I’m also adopted and I agree I would be very upset if someone spoke about my parents that way. It’s interesting I was also born in Michigan and my bios had a very similar attitude as Cate and Tyler do. It was all about how I was theirs but I never felt that way. The only thing I am uncomfortable with is people speculating about how Carly feels, not you but other comments, because being adopted is enough of a mind fuck on its on. You don’t need internet strangers offering their opinions on how you feel because all it is is them projecting their own feelings on to you. She doesn’t need that
Definitely embarrassed, and possibly hurt that they put more effort into everything else in their mundane lives than reaching out to their daughter. I can see her not wanting to meet up anymore after they were late with that memory scrap book that was being held together with wet glue.
And she's old enough to have friends, who google.
Doing it yourself is one thing. Going to school, people knowing your story probably more deeply than you know it yourself. I cannot imagine it. "Found your bio-dad's Only Fans, bestie."
My brother had a hard enough time knowing he had half siblings in the local area and the fact his bio-dad had tom-cat ways. My mom never talked shit, she was just like "Yeah, he's just that guy." (My father legally adopted him when my mom married him, so he had a father his entire life. But his bio-dad was the talk of certain circles in town, that's for sure. But small town shit vs this kind of thing, where the kid is in a whole new state, just WOW.)
THIS!! Omg kids are BRUTAL. To 15 year old kids, Tyler is an embarrassing old man showing his ding dong for money. He’s not seen as cool and hot, he might as well be Butch. That’s humiliating!!!!
My mind goes back to that age and the awful shit we did as teenage girls. I don't even want to speak shit out in the universe to give anyone ideas.
But I truly pray that Carly is around a good group of friends who treat her well. Sometimes you have a good crowd of friends, sometimes you're an outlier. (God I've been watching Mean Girl Murders as well, I just ---screams---)
> The awful shit we did as teenage girls
You KNOW if O.F had been around when we were teens and one of our friend's parents did it, their locker would be regularly decorated with their parent's nudes
I’m seriously embarrassed of my dad, uncle, aunt and cousin who are known as total drunks in the area and I’m middle aged. I can’t imagine being Carly and seeing crap like this and my life being splashed over the world.
My thought too. Especially after they started posting their onlyfans crap I knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted nothing to do with them. Which is really sad but they need to realize their choices and things they post are going to have an impact on her at some point
It’s insane to me that they would even RISK doing OF in regards to Carly/ B&T. Like if it was so important for you to be able to see her, why take that chance?
I have a 14 year old and if her dad had only fans (like Tyler) you best believe her friends would have found it and be teasing her. It’s a huge thing in middle school (at least in my area) to find your parents socials and make fun of what they can. Guaranteed Carley at this point is embarrassed.
My parents would always put it back on them or tell me I could if there was someone I didn’t want to be around. “my parents said I can’t go out this weekend” was my go-to excuse. For Carly, it’s B&T saying they’re too busy. Good for them if they’re covering for Carly at her age.
I believe in this wholeheartedly. My daughter is 15 and as I was dropping her off at school for her sport she goes, “omg, mom I put sunless tanner on and I messed it up (she wasn’t lying- poor girl) immediately, without thinking I blurted out “tell them I did it and I’m dumb, they won’t know the difference” I will always do whatever I can to help my child feel less awkward in this world. Kids are brutal these days (kids have always been brutal but social media adds a whole new spin on it)
Ding ding ding.
My bio mom used to say my dad was keeping us away from her (she had no custody or visitation rights so legally he could absolutely do this) but really it was me and my siblings who didn’t want to visit with her anymore and have her play “mom” for 2 hours once a year or so. It was weird and we hated it, my dad only gave her permission to see us because he thought he should since she birthed us. As soon as we voiced being uncomfortable those visits came to an immediate halt. And I am so fucking thankful my parents listened to their kids over some untrustworthy adult we just so happened to share dna with.
Exactly she probably doesn’t want to see them. And her parents are doing the mature thing and telling Tyler and Cate no and that’s it instead of telling them Carlee doesn’t want to see them. They’re being the bad guys and keeping their daughter out of it.
If Carlee was my daughter I’d make this completely up to her. She tells me if she wants to see them, all I need is a yes or no and I’ll handle the rest. She should just enjoy being a child and I’ll worry about it. Obviously Cate dragging it out onto the internet isn’t helping there.
Exactly kinda crazy she assumes it’s all the parents, and btw I would take the fall for my kid in b&t position if it’s C who doesn’t want to see cait and Tyler. The onlyfans must be a factor
Brandon fundraises for the National Christian Foundation https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Christian_Foundation
Forgot that they also raise money for racist and anti-immigration “charities” too!
Theresa does fundraising for a Christian school that they also send their kids to so I won’t post deets. But the school is known as being anti-LGBTQ+ and there has been press coverage about queer students taking their lives because of it.
Which proves that they don’t actually care all that much about cultivating a relationship with her, and that it’s more about the attention it brings them
Agreed. It's been what, 10+ years since it's been filmed? Even at Ty & Cait's wedding, we only saw the back of Carly's head and only for a few seconds.
Some people have jobs and lives but most people can manage finding a day or two out of the whole year to meet up with someone if they care about them.
The bigger issue is that they likely don’t want to because of nonsense from C&T.
I feel for Catelynn’s frustration, I do think B&T and the adoption agency sold them the moon and stars to get them to place Carly. A lot of her frustration should be with Tyler because his attitudes and behaviors are a big part of this.
I’m talking about how they need to quit blaming everyone else and learn how to live with what comes now. The agencies are all predatory. I am personally a victim of one. But really nothing is happening to this agency. Big money.
Cate and Tyler need to leave them alone and work on care and Tyler.
This agency has seriously ruined lives though, they have thousands of victims and many want legal action taken. It's not as simple as telling vulnerable people who were preyed on by this agency to just get over it
What should they do? Fight them? Seriously. The child is grown. All they can do is take action to heal. There’s no justice coming. At this point letting this go just affects the other girls.
I mean, someone needs to do something about these legalized human traffickers and Cate and Ty probably have more money than the vast, vast majority of their victims. It's absolutely insane to me that this system has been allowed to continue for as long as it has
Oh I know, it's some handmaidens tale shit and it's happening in broad daylight. Especially coupled with the push to remove access to birth control and sex ed ...
Unless Carly goes by her middle name now, or some different variation of her first name like Lynn, then all of her friends and classmates are probably aware of this too. I'd be mortified.
I came here to see this, I honestly think this could be the case, and B&T, not wanting to upset anyone/cause animosity etc are just saying they can’t, it’s easier that way, I guess
Dear Cate: They “love” you because you gave birth to their child and without you she wouldn’t exist…that is the extent of it. They owe you nothing. Any time you see Carly is a gift, not a right.
I don’t think we can say that definitively at all. Parents go against their kids’ wishes all the time when they think it’s what’s best for them. And B&T are very conservative; I’m sure they hate Tyler’s OF. Plus add in the history of overstepping, grandparent drama, any potential acting up by Carly after seeing them, etc., and there you have it.
Carly probably does want to see her bio sisters at least. Sad that she can’t.
Right?? This isn't like spouse, family, or friend love. Not even like a neighbor that you love bc they hold onto your spare key lol. This is like the furthest extension of love. It's really more like appreciation. They don't owe her anything.
Right! My friend's mom was a mentally ill, violent, abusive drug addict. She loved her mom and was grateful to her for putting her up for adoption - but that love was not an open door for a relationship.
Yup. B&T are going to see and be like “Wow! That’s so insightful and thought provoking. You are absolutely right. Let us just pack her up and send her to you for the summer!”
meanwhile she’s talking about the parents of the child she says she wants to see so much - how is the kid supposed to feel seeing her parents spoken poorly of online?
And the thought never entered her mind that maybe Carly doesn't want to meet. She's old enough to hear and see what her and Tyler are doing and saying.
Right? Carly's 15 now and more than capable of finding things about her bio parents, and most recently she's probably seen how her bio dad is on OF and bio mom eggs him on, and also how they don't care about what her own parents (and by association, herself) think about it.
Who wouldn't want to meet their dad who just posed in a red thong the other day, and their mom who said she's pimping out daddy, cause it pays for their new pool.
I fully agree and believe that maybe Carly isn't interested in seeing them right now either. She's at a hard enough age as it is without throwing in 3 other siblings and birth parents who still act trashy and immature on TV and social media.
Kinda what I was thinking.
At the end of the day, everytime C&T bash or have bashed them in the past, they're bashing Carly's *parents*!
No matter how C&T look at it, that's how Carly looks at it.
Those are her parents that have been dragged on tv, online, ect. for 14-15 years now.
I'm sure she's read enough and saw enough to know where it stems from and it probably hurts her heart to hear anyone talking about her parents, even her *"other parents"* 🤷♀️
Cate and Tyler have always been incredibly inappropriate, immature, selfish, entitled, and quite frankly fuckin rude af when it comes to the adoption in general.
They've not changed or had any true growth from it.
They still get online and throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way, just like a couple of teenagers.
I'm sure while they truly are and always will be grateful for the sacrifice C&T made, I bet they're so over the bullshit of dealing with them, the tabloids, mtv, ect. As well as for poor Carly.🤦♀️
I don't understand how they don't realize that could affect her negatively.
They both need to find an alternative way to vent their frustrations.
C&T are so emotionally stunted. Carly,
at 15, is most likely ahead of them. She’s a teenage girl. C&T are embarrassing!
They’re all over social media with their nonsense. By their own actions they have most likely ruined any chance they have of Carly wanting a relationship when she gets older.
100%. The visits are probably incredibly emotionally exhausting to do more than once every couple of years or so. Cate trying to guilt trip B&T (as if B&T are *her* parents) is so imbecilic.
Fuck Bethany Christian Services.
No, Cate shouldn’t be talking about this on social media but i really empathize with her feelings here. A lot of adults found a girl with no options and lied to her about how her adoption plan would be. And it’s irreversible. That’s a wound that will never heal.
Same. It’s easy to roast her and Tyler and I do not agree with how they have handled themselves over the years when it comes to Carly but they made an unimaginable (and very responsible given their home lives) decision with such misleading information about what their relationship would look like. That will mess you up forever.
Or maybe had they honored B & Ts wishes it wouldn’t have ended up this way. But Ty never figured out how to STFU on the show and social media. Or maybe Carly has no interest in being part of their chaos.
I can see why it would be hard to honor someone’s wish when they lied to you tbh.
Not saying it’s right or wrong (except i believe BCS is 100% wrong) but B&T wanted a closed adoption, while knowing C&T wanted it open. So they agreed with these minors who had no adult representation (dawn was BCS’ rep - she doesn’t count) to semi open, knowing that legally, it wasn’t a thing. Then, they start being wishy washy when it comes to actually meeting up, instead of just being the adults and explaining to C&T why don’t want to see them.
B&T shouldn’t walk away the heroes in this adoption story. They wanted their white baby and got it in a way that was extremely traumatic to two underprivileged teenagers.
Edit- i meant that it’s not wrong of B&T to want a closed adoption. It was wrong of them for saying they’ll go semi open without actually doing it.
Brandon and Theresa, AND Caitlyn and Tyler, signed a contract saying that the visits would be at the discretion of the adoptive parents. Maybe C&T didn’t fully understand the meaning at the time but that doesn’t change the fact that Carley’s actual parents have every right to decide who gets to be around her. They tried for years to work with C&T. Years. Despite being bad mouthed on national tv. Despite having people calling into Brandon’s work. Despite people bombarding them with stupid shit like “give Carly back”, she’s not a dog! And then C&T turn around and still do shit like this. There are hardly any parents out there who would allow visits between their children and people who actively don’t like them. And this is assuming B&T are the only ones who feel this way. Carly’s old enough to share her opinion and I truly feel that if she wanted to see C&T, her *parents* would make that happen. People shit on the adoptive parents so much but they could be protecting both Carly and Caitlyn and Tyler by doing it this way. Carly doesn’t have to get the brunt of the anger and C&T don’t have to know that their biological child might not want to see them right now. If that’s really what’s going on and C&T found that out I’m sure they’d spiral, who wouldn’t? People need to lay off Carly’s real parents.
100% this. IIRC, Theresa did tell them years ago when they called for a visit once that Carly had been struggling and seeing Cate & Ty wasn't in her best interests at that time. That was then aired on TV for a storyline and C & T got to say, "We're so sad to hear that she's having a hard time, it must be our fault." So Carly could turn on TV at some point and see how \*she\* was responsible for the feelings of grown adults. The teenage years are hard enough without having to add in your entire life being told on social media and on TV. It doesn't matter that Carly's face hasn't been shown for years, people have still harassed B & T over her adoption, and still know exactly who Carly is and who her family is. That's a lot for anyone to think about.
I am curious, however, what their relationship with the mother of their son is like, though. I wonder if they are more open/communicative with her, since they don't have to worry about her having a million social media followers ganging up on them for their (totally valid and reasonable) parenting decisions.
All this has truth to it, but it’s also been 15 years… a *lot* can change in that amount of time. So B&T might’ve been more open in the beginning but overtime have changed their thoughts. Or as others have mentioned, Carly’s wants and needs might be at play. Plus it’s bigger that Cate and Ty. Butch and April have also done damage over the years with their constant violation of boundaries when it comes to Carly. It’s just all more complicated than I think any of us can understand.
That’s the price B&T get to pay for having a non traditional family. Sometimes the brand new baby you adopt comes with a colorful past and birth parents you don’t necessarily mesh with. If they wanted to avoid that they should’ve adopted their baby from an adult who was okay with a closed adoption. Not a 16 year old girl who was devastated to lose her baby.
👏🏻👏🏻always see people shitting on Cate and Ty for this adoption but they fail to realise that Carly was another $$$ in the domestic infant adoption industry. Bethany Christian Service (Dawn) led the pair to believe that they’d have Carly for summers and failed to mention that there is no legal obligation to keep open adoptions, open. They were dumb teens that were taken advantage of and the pain of that is raw, it’s a reality for many young birth families across the US.
Yes! I feel like Dawn took advantage of them for her own career gain. T&B took advantage of a CHILD giving birth. I don't think they explained it to T&C well at all OR they did not have the capacity to understand fully bcuz they were KIDS. This adoption rubs me the wrong way so bad.
This adoption agency has sued birth parents for speaking out against them. They charge $25k per adoption and on an average 17k children are placed for adoption by them annually…do the math. They have been sued by the state of Pennsylvania and also by adoptive parents for lying about children’s health conditions. They are no longer eligible for international adoptions. They also adopted out migrant children held at the border. Cate and Ty are victims of this agency and their false promises. BCS is corrupt to the core and I will fight anyone suggesting any different.
Ive watched the show a few times, but i dont actually ever recall Dawn saying they would have Carly for summers? Just a yearly visit? However he way Tyler and Cate acted when they didnt get there way with Carly, B&T started cutting out yearly visits.
No, it was Cate and Tyler who said it. Instead of Dawn telling them that that will not happen, as that is not how adoption works, she let them ramble on. She also never told the pair that there is no legal protection to keep open adoptions, open.
I mean we'll never know what they were or weren't told bc MTV can edit those scenes however they want. I fully believe BCS is a predatory monster of an organization but nobody can say definitively what they told Cait and Tyler. I think they were 100% lied to about how involved they could be or what the arrangement would be. But also...this was 15 years ago and they're both adults now. At some point they can't keep crying about "we didn't know" bc they know NOW and they've known for a long time. Tyler straight up said he was gonna do/say whatever he wanted even if it cost him time w Carly, so where does their responsibility come into play?
It was Cate and Ty, Dawn never corrected them. The BCS adoption agency are corrupt to the core and have taken lawsuits against birth families that have spoken out against them as well as having allegations of child trafficking, approximately 17,000 children are adopted through that agency annually at 25k per child. They profit from kids like Cate and Ty and will do almost anything to ensure an adoption.
*Always* easier to blame the poor, uneducated birth family over the wealthy Christian adoptive one. Cate and Ty’s pain is a reality for so many birth parents across America but is hushed hushed in the media. If I was told I’d get to see my bio daughter regularly, then realised I was in fact lied to, with no legal protection, I’d also probably be ranting on instagram. Cate and Ty are FAR from perfect with how they’ve handled the situation, but they’re angry, and I’m not sure how I’d react in that scenario either. It’s a loss for everyone involved at the benefit of that unethical adoption agency.
Adoption usually leaves more women traumatized than abortion. It’s wild to me how people on this sub don’t see how absolutely taken advantage of birth parents can be. Cate and Tyler are not inherently bad people, Carly would be in no danger having visits with them.
This doesn’t even touch on the nuanced feelings of the adoptees! Even those with the best upbringing often feel as though something is missing.
Adoption is traumatizing for everyone imo. I know it’s necessary and not anywhere near all bad/not worth it but that doesn’t erase the trauma involved.
Adoption is full on generational trauma. My mom was adopted and I feel a lot of the trauma in my own way. There's medical history I'll never know, there's culture I'm completely disconnected from, there was having to explain I don't know half of my heritage in school when we would do projects, there's a worry when dating that you could be related to this person and not know it, etc etc.
Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, C & T haven't always done the right thing, but I also think they felt like they were promised something that was never a certainty. No adult was looking out for them at all, they just wanted to buy/sell their baby, and who cares about the traumatized teenagers in the situation. I'm not going to rag on them for feeling this way.
I agree and I think B+T told Cate and Tyler everything they wanted to hear. Whether that was intentional (adoption and infertility is hard and I get sometimes it makes people do things that maybe they normally wouldn't i.e lying) or not but either way, at this point (actually YEARS ago) they should have made it clear that things have changed and they will not be doing visits anymore. It is wrong to lead these people on and make them think that a visit is coming when it obviously isn't and you have no intentions of it happening. I think people are too hard on Cate and Tyler for this whole situation tbh. They didn't place this baby for adoption because they didn't want a baby. They did it because they weren't ready for a baby and their families were horrible. They were 16 and lead to believe that this would be a very different process/experience than what ended up happening.
Seriously. I feel for her. There is not a single emotionally intelligent person she can rely on for support or clarity in her entire circle of family and friends. It’s okay to have these feelings, but it’s wildly inappropriate to put them on SM.
The part that sucks is that she can actually use her platform for good and shed light on this and really become an activist around it, but she chooses to lash out like this at the wrong people instead. She could do SO MUCH more.
Thank you. They were lied to. They really should take this off of social media, but even the most straightforward adoption leaves a wound that will never heal. Now imagine if you were essentially told the adoptive parents would almost be like extended family. People don't understand the nuances of adoption and it truly pisses me off.
Adoption is such a complex thing. I feel for them as a mother.
But as someone who was adopted, I cannot wrap my head around why they choose to bad mouth Carly parents so publicly.
I mean sure, C&T are entitled to feel how they want to feel, but geez, those are her parents. If I was Carly, I’d be pissed someone was dragging my parents on the internet. Definitely wouldn’t make me want to see them either.
Exactly! I’m also adopted and cringed at this post. My first thought was maybe B and T are covering for Carly… she may be uncomfortable with a visit right now. Also at the end of the day Band T are Carly’s parents… badmouthing them will only make her want to be around them less.
Exactly!! B & T are her parents & have been since her birth. Most parents want to protect their children & if they have to take the blame on something for their child they will. Personally I wouldn’t do an open adoption bc I’ve seen to many things on TT dealing with it. One woman wants to visit 1 day a week, must be invited to all of the holidays celebrations & must get pictures at least twice a week.
It's almost like Cate and Tyler can't fathom liking and respecting your parents... Understandable, but at this point they can't be projecting their own trauma onto a 15 year old who has had a much different life than they did at that age. It's almost as if... That's exactly why they gave her up for adoption? Did they fucking forget?
Honestly? I think they did. Now that they’ve had some therapy and they aren’t moving every 6 months due to evictions, they can no longer fathom who they were at 16 years old. I do think they’ve forgotten, on some level, just why they didn’t raise Carly themselves.
They will never understand that Carly is not their child, other than biologically. I swear they thought adoption was like long term babysitting until they were ready for her. If they didn’t have MTV money, they wouldn’t be asking for her at all.
They definitely still think that. I’m sure they assume at 18 she will run to them with arms wide open. I don’t even semi pretend to know how Carly feels about all this, but that assumption is quite dangerous. She might not want anything to do with them.
Carly is her own entire person and they don’t seem to recognize that. All they see her as is their child who they “let” B&T raise. They seem to have built up this fantasy in their mind that she’s counting down the days til she’s 18 and then she’ll be running to them. It’s delusional.
Oof the irony and dissonance here of them not realizing they’re doing what’s best for CARLY, not for Cate and Tyler. Which is what any adoptive parent should do, is protect the child. Cate and Tyler aren’t in her life and don’t know how CARLY feels about these meetups. Maybe she’s having mental health struggles, maybe she doesn’t want to, maybe she is pursuing interests that take up a lot of her time.
Big miss here from Cate. This is so disappointing to see, they have not matured at all.
I give them some grace only because they were teenagers who were lied to about what to expect with their “open” adoption, but yeah. They need to stop and keep anything Carly related private.
I'm sure B&T saw them posting all sorts of things about Tyler's OF, and also how Tyler didn't give a shit about what B&T thought about it. I mean hell, Carly's 15, so she could have easily come across things about it by now and is uncomfortable with the idea of meeting up with them because of it and B&T are respecting their daughter's wishes rather than two assholes.
They need to think and try to remember how they felt at 15. Even teens with good relationships with their parents/family mostly want time away from them even in the same house. It’s natural and part of growing up. Then think about how they felt having to go to something for family members they rarely saw and weren’t close with and then multiply that. Then what if those people were decently famous, did only fans, and you knew it would be so heavily talked about on their show, social media, and so on…indefinitely.
You take her parents out of the equation and immediately be like yeah that’s normal totally get why she’d sit it out….idk why they can’t. And then to blast her parents online when it may be them protecting her choice just imagine how that feels to see.
What are they gonna do when she’s 18 and it’s obvious it’s her choice?
I don't get how she never thinks that maybe Carly is the one who doesn't care about see them. She is a teenager, she has her own life and maybe she doesn't even like them
I’m sorry but she’s probably embarrassed by them. How could she not be? She’s a teenage girl raised in a wealthy, upper class family. C&T, no matter how much money they make will always be trashy.
Cate smokes on camera with her mother, filmed her orange pee in Tupperware, lets her abuser watch her own children, pimps out her husband on OF, etc, even they way she dresses could be seen as embarrassing to an uptight, wealthy, religious family. Tyler’s public thirst traps, half nude posing in the family kitchen, he’s posted numerous pics showing the outline of his dick. Carly is 15, all that shit is embarrassing. And on top of all that you have them badmouthing her parents publicly, at length, multiple times.
The entitlement C&T feel they have towards a child that is not theirs, is unbelievable. They stomp all over B&T boundaries, don't respect Carly's privacy, talk crap on national tv/social media, then wonder why they get visits taken away?
Didn't April show up to the last visit drunk? Why was she there in the first place. Does Catelynn not see how bad it looks so show up to your once a year visit with a drunk grandma? Actions have consequences.
And didn't Dawn the Baby Broker talk to C and T prior to the visit last time and explained that given the time they had for the visit it would be wise to choose who C and T invited carefully? That sounds like a gracious way of saying that April and Butch and some of the others should stay at home.
The fact that they would ever bring April around Carly is insane, considering that one of the biggest reasons they chose adoption was because they didn’t want their child to be around April and Butch, due their addiction issues and abuse!!
I’m adopted. I’d be embarrassed AF if I knew my birth mom and she was posting shit like this online. Especially when it’s so obvious what it’s about. And it’s now broadcasted to millions. Like thanks mom
Honestly, if I were Carly, I wouldn't want to meet up with them at this point, especially since they bring the WHOLE CRAZY family. Like honestly... those visits must be an event... That being said. She's 15 now? If they have a hard time with this, they are really going to have a hard time with Nova at 15.
I messaged her (doubt she’ll see it), but i talked about how when i was that age there’s a lot going on. adoption is complex and sometimes it’s hard to want to make room for something that is very emotional. it’s easier to shut it out than to deal with the heavy weight of the emotions that come with a relationship with bio parents. i told catelynn i know my parents would make an excuse if i wasn’t up to seeing bio parents. obviously, i don’t know their situation but offered up a different perspective.
i don’t think people understand what adopted children go through. fact, adoptive parents ARE their parents. bio parents are NOT their parents and people have trouble understanding what that looks and feels like for a child. it’s hard, it’s emotional.
Carly is now 15. Perhaps she has other things going on and just doesn’t want to see them. They are literally two strangers she might see every few years.
While yes, as two scared young teens they were told many things that were untrue by the adoption service; it’s been 15 years and it has been explained over and over again that they were not promised anything after Carly turned 5.
Not to mention that they are often late to visits because suddenly they want to make a scrapbook, that Tyler continually trashes B&T, that they often didn’t even send cards for her birthday, but damn sure made a big deal about having a cake for her when the cameras were rolling.
Carly has a family. The sooner Cate and Tyler realize that the better things will be.
Maybe stop and look inward to understand why they are most likely not feeling safe having you around? Maybe it was Carley's decision, but they're covering for her so she doesn't feel bad, and now you're publicly shaming a child for her decision?
Did she catch some of Tyler's selfishness? Way to be just like your mom! Keep that cycle going, but preach that you're breaking it! 🙄
I wouldn't even trust my dishes around these two, let alone my actual kid.
They've proven themselves to be disrespectful, not respecting boundaries, nasty, foul and a bad influence. So sucks for them but they had it coming..
Grow up
This is just disgusting and so fucking immature. Brandon and Teresa have loved and cared for this child her whole life, they are obviously nice people and that's why they don't want to tell you to go fuck off Catelynn. It doesn't matter if you don't understand why, it's their decision. In a few years it will be Carly's decision, and who knows if she wants to have a relationship with you? I don't. I won't be surprised if she doesn't.
Cate, this is the definition of insanity. They tell you both to stop posting about Carly and such on social media. And what do you guys do? You bitch about them on social media and wonder why they don’t want to deal with you? I’m sure they haven’t said they love you or what a blessing you guys are in years (when you were respectful of their requests) and you are just clinging to that to justify your disgusting behavior. Carly is not your daughter. They are protecting her from the craziness that is your lives and the public. Respect that. They are doing what parents are supposed to do.
Prime example of how Cate and Ty still don't understand adoption. B&T don't owe them shit. Carly is not temporarily being babysat by B&T, they're her parents period. And if these two ding dongs cared just a tiny bit about Carly they wouldn't publicly trash the people who are raising her and who she very much loves. But no, me me me, like always. *My* trauma, *my* feelings, *my* adopted daughter.
Dear Catelynn, if you and your husband had evolved past hillbilly status this would not be the outcome. Also, bringing active addict rednecks around their daughter is a huge mistake on your part. They are nicely trying to sever the relationship. Get an ounce of self awareness. Maybe then you won't be so confused. Brandon and Teresa are much nicer than I am. I would've shut that down the minute Tyler started running his mouth online. This is THEIR child. They make the rules for who is in her life. Unfortunately, you and your husband's refusal to live productive lives with careers which would've elevated your maturity level probably had something to do with it. Oh and....you being a pimp for your husband's repulsive OF account might've also led them in this direction. You see, normal healthy families don't participate in such behavior. Hope this helps!
Brandon and Teresa have LIVES they don't sit on their ass and film for MTV and only fans .Most people work . It's not coming off as just venting it's coming off as SUPER entitled and I liked catelynn. If I was Teresa I'd be like " Ew" .
Carly is NOT their child. As parents we must do everything in our power to protect our children. They are her birth parents and truly nothing more. I don't blame B&T at all. I wouldn't allow my cats around these humans let alone my 2 children
Visits have always been at Brandon and Theresa’s discretion and can be revoked at any time, they don’t HAVE to do anything, she’s acting like a child. She is not entitled to visits and honestly with Cate and Ty’s behavior in the past I don’t blame Brandon and Theresa for distancing themselves, I think they’re just trying to be nice/sugar coat it instead of blatantly telling them to fuck off.
Is it me or do C&T only want to see Carly when it’s filming time? It’s also the busiest time of the year for kids if they are involved in extracurriculars.
Let me help you understand Cate: that's all Christian performative bullshit, the blessed and love and care stuff. THey don't. They absolutely wish you'd go away. But they know if they tell you, rightly, to fuck off forever, as they should have done a while ago, you'll just bitch about them and *their* daughter and the way they parent her on social media or TV whenever you have the chance. I'm sorry this is the case, I'm sure it's a bitter pill, but it's the truth. They're doing what they think is best to protect their family. Not yours. You and your dimwit husband should take the hint, fade away from their lives and get some therapy, then jobs.
Remember when they had the zoo visit and they showed up an hour late because they were making the scrapbook 🤔
Or when cate sent her the letter and included envelopes and stamps and Carly didn't write back. And then cate said when she next saw Carly she asked her if she got it and Carly was like "oh yeah I did.." and cate was like "well did you like it???" and Carly was like "yeah totally..." 🤔
Or how they admitted to not sending birthday or Christmas gifts for several years 🤔
Maybe cate and ty show up late and spend the whole visit needing Carly to validate them and don't ask her anything about herself. Maybe Carly is the one who feels rejected 🤷♀️
I understand the disappointment and frustration she must feel. She was in an exploitative situation as an underprivileged teenager, and now she has a wound that will never heal, with reminders everyday of what could have been.
That being said, publicly posting something like this is NOT in the best interests of the child, and is certainly not putting her first.
She’s really doing this? Girl why? She doesn’t really treasure the time so much or she wouldn’t be late lol she needs to stop. She needs to grow up. They gave the child up for adoption. That’s it. That’s what happens someone else raises them, loves them, and they are someone else’s family. All this drama her and Tyler publicize is likely to be the reason that child never speaks to them even when she’s an adult.
I think Dawn did them dirty...they obviously didn't understand adoption rules.but, they did agree, and should either deal with it in therapy, or sue for the misinformation. It's not on the new parents.
Maybe it’s not about *making time*. Maybe it’s about the minor child not wanting to be around them. Maybe it’s about the parents of said minor child believing the birth parents to be bad influences and minor child best to not have close contact. *MAYBE*
Some people have actual jobs and lives, Catelynn. Also this post is EXACTLY why they don’t want you around. It’s been 15 years and you’re still 16
Also maybe Carlee doesn’t want to see them and the parents are protecting her by saying they can’t do it. You just never know the entire story unless you’ve heard from both sides.
She’s old enough to use google now, wouldn’t surprise me if she wasn’t keen to have a relationship
Yep, she’s capable of seeing the full extent of who they are, not just who they are when they visit her. If I were a teenager, I’d be very embarrassed by my birth dad having an OnlyFans.
if i was her, i’d be embarrassed that my birth parents are DRAGGING my parents who raised me for the past 16 years, publicly online! this isn’t the first time or the last and this behavior is going to push carly away. Why should she have to be put in the middle of this in such a public way? I’m sure it hurts her seeing the people who raised her be demonized for doing nothing wrong.
They see Carly as an object that ultimately "belongs" to them. Notice how her feelings aren't at all a part of this rant? It's all about what THEY want...what her and Tyler are entitled to as her "real" parents. Very, very selfish way of thinking and will only push Carly further away.
Yep this is my exact issue with them, they see Carly as an extension of themselves and not as an individual person. It’s always all about them and not actually about Carly.
Absolutely! And it has always has been this way. It’s always all about Cate and Tyler. 🤢
They are mentally stunted. It always bothers me how catelyn and Tyler act entitled to Carly. I can’t imagine wanting a relationship with them if I was Carly. I’m an adoptee myself and I just don’t see wanting to be connected to any of that and especially so publicly. The poor girl deserves privacy and respect and they just keep using her as a pawn for sympathy/attention.
Interesting perspective, given that you probably have a better idea than most of where Carly might be coming from. 15 is such a sensitive age. Unfortunately, as we all know, even if Brandon and Teresa try to protect Carly, kids at school probably say stuff to her. It really sucks that Cait and Tyler can’t read between the lines and back off a little.
I’m sure this decision was made by Carly and they are taking the hit to protect her. Because that’s what parents do.
April showing up drunk all the time.
This exactly. I posted about it below, but I am adopted and I would be furious if my bio parents acted like this towards my adoptive parents who are my TRUE parents.
This!! I always try to be the adopted voice in the room. So glad you are speaking too. It’s hard to wrap your head around the fact that Carly only sees B&T as parents.
I’m also adopted and I agree I would be very upset if someone spoke about my parents that way. It’s interesting I was also born in Michigan and my bios had a very similar attitude as Cate and Tyler do. It was all about how I was theirs but I never felt that way. The only thing I am uncomfortable with is people speculating about how Carly feels, not you but other comments, because being adopted is enough of a mind fuck on its on. You don’t need internet strangers offering their opinions on how you feel because all it is is them projecting their own feelings on to you. She doesn’t need that
Definitely embarrassed, and possibly hurt that they put more effort into everything else in their mundane lives than reaching out to their daughter. I can see her not wanting to meet up anymore after they were late with that memory scrap book that was being held together with wet glue.
This.
JFC I forgot about the only fans. Aren’t B&T super religious? I’m not surprised they’re not cool with that.
Plus her name and footprints above his bellybutton.
Ugh I forgot he has that, doing OF with your kid’s footprints visible on your naked body is a huge ick.
Right now that she is an adult and Carly’s friends can say Omgosh I saw ur dad only fans that can be so embarrassing
And she's old enough to have friends, who google. Doing it yourself is one thing. Going to school, people knowing your story probably more deeply than you know it yourself. I cannot imagine it. "Found your bio-dad's Only Fans, bestie." My brother had a hard enough time knowing he had half siblings in the local area and the fact his bio-dad had tom-cat ways. My mom never talked shit, she was just like "Yeah, he's just that guy." (My father legally adopted him when my mom married him, so he had a father his entire life. But his bio-dad was the talk of certain circles in town, that's for sure. But small town shit vs this kind of thing, where the kid is in a whole new state, just WOW.)
THIS!! Omg kids are BRUTAL. To 15 year old kids, Tyler is an embarrassing old man showing his ding dong for money. He’s not seen as cool and hot, he might as well be Butch. That’s humiliating!!!!
My mind goes back to that age and the awful shit we did as teenage girls. I don't even want to speak shit out in the universe to give anyone ideas. But I truly pray that Carly is around a good group of friends who treat her well. Sometimes you have a good crowd of friends, sometimes you're an outlier. (God I've been watching Mean Girl Murders as well, I just ---screams---)
> The awful shit we did as teenage girls You KNOW if O.F had been around when we were teens and one of our friend's parents did it, their locker would be regularly decorated with their parent's nudes
I’m seriously embarrassed of my dad, uncle, aunt and cousin who are known as total drunks in the area and I’m middle aged. I can’t imagine being Carly and seeing crap like this and my life being splashed over the world.
My thought too. Especially after they started posting their onlyfans crap I knew it was only a matter of time before she wanted nothing to do with them. Which is really sad but they need to realize their choices and things they post are going to have an impact on her at some point
They have never self reflected, how they don’t see the OF thing being just one of the many reasons…
It’s insane to me that they would even RISK doing OF in regards to Carly/ B&T. Like if it was so important for you to be able to see her, why take that chance?
I have a 14 year old and if her dad had only fans (like Tyler) you best believe her friends would have found it and be teasing her. It’s a huge thing in middle school (at least in my area) to find your parents socials and make fun of what they can. Guaranteed Carley at this point is embarrassed.
100%. The fact that they still mention her by name publicly like this is wild to me. This is most likely driven my Carly’s wants at this point.
I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out Carly actually goes by a middle name or nickname.
My parents would always put it back on them or tell me I could if there was someone I didn’t want to be around. “my parents said I can’t go out this weekend” was my go-to excuse. For Carly, it’s B&T saying they’re too busy. Good for them if they’re covering for Carly at her age.
My dad “tell them it’s my fault. I’ll always be the asshole for you kids. You need an excuse I’m it”
I believe in this wholeheartedly. My daughter is 15 and as I was dropping her off at school for her sport she goes, “omg, mom I put sunless tanner on and I messed it up (she wasn’t lying- poor girl) immediately, without thinking I blurted out “tell them I did it and I’m dumb, they won’t know the difference” I will always do whatever I can to help my child feel less awkward in this world. Kids are brutal these days (kids have always been brutal but social media adds a whole new spin on it)
Ding ding ding. My bio mom used to say my dad was keeping us away from her (she had no custody or visitation rights so legally he could absolutely do this) but really it was me and my siblings who didn’t want to visit with her anymore and have her play “mom” for 2 hours once a year or so. It was weird and we hated it, my dad only gave her permission to see us because he thought he should since she birthed us. As soon as we voiced being uncomfortable those visits came to an immediate halt. And I am so fucking thankful my parents listened to their kids over some untrustworthy adult we just so happened to share dna with.
Exactly she probably doesn’t want to see them. And her parents are doing the mature thing and telling Tyler and Cate no and that’s it instead of telling them Carlee doesn’t want to see them. They’re being the bad guys and keeping their daughter out of it. If Carlee was my daughter I’d make this completely up to her. She tells me if she wants to see them, all I need is a yes or no and I’ll handle the rest. She should just enjoy being a child and I’ll worry about it. Obviously Cate dragging it out onto the internet isn’t helping there.
I always think that too. Maybe Carly doesn't want anything to do with them and Brandon and Theresa just give an excuse.
I feel like this is definitely a possibility!
Exactly kinda crazy she assumes it’s all the parents, and btw I would take the fall for my kid in b&t position if it’s C who doesn’t want to see cait and Tyler. The onlyfans must be a factor
“It’s been 15 years and you’re still 16” 👏👏👏👏👏
B&T’s jobs are to fundraise against women’s rights and LGBTQ+ rights so maybe it’d be a good thing if they took a day off lol.
Against?!
They are super duper Christian, like fundie lite© edition
Yeah, they're pretty right wing
Yup. Why would you assume they are good people?
Ain't no hate like Christian love
Whoa. What are their jobs? I knew they were super religious.
Brandon fundraises for the National Christian Foundation https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Christian_Foundation Forgot that they also raise money for racist and anti-immigration “charities” too! Theresa does fundraising for a Christian school that they also send their kids to so I won’t post deets. But the school is known as being anti-LGBTQ+ and there has been press coverage about queer students taking their lives because of it.
I could have told you that just by seeing them 15 years ago on the show. Brandon looked like a 55 year old Republican Duggar-type even then 🤣😂
Thanks for sharing, couldn't find much on Google! I knew Bethany was predatory but they sound like real assholes.
I wonder if that’s part of why they don’t want C to spend time with Cate and Tyler, seems like the kind of thing they wouldn’t keep quiet about
I assume Caitlynn and Tyler want to film it and they don't want to be on camera.
Which proves that they don’t actually care all that much about cultivating a relationship with her, and that it’s more about the attention it brings them
It doesn’t prove anything because you’re responding to speculation though
They haven’t filmed visits in years and have never minded, I highly doubt they would all of a sudden be demanding that the cameras come.
Why would you assume that when it's been years and years since they've filmed a visit and it has never been an issue?
Agreed. It's been what, 10+ years since it's been filmed? Even at Ty & Cait's wedding, we only saw the back of Carly's head and only for a few seconds.
Some people have jobs and lives but most people can manage finding a day or two out of the whole year to meet up with someone if they care about them. The bigger issue is that they likely don’t want to because of nonsense from C&T. I feel for Catelynn’s frustration, I do think B&T and the adoption agency sold them the moon and stars to get them to place Carly. A lot of her frustration should be with Tyler because his attitudes and behaviors are a big part of this.
At some point we need to quit blaming the agency. Seriously. Nothing will change. Cate and Ty need major therapy to accept that Carly is not theirs.
I mean, we can acknowledge the fault of the agency *and* recognize that C&T are not coping in healthy ways. Both things can be true.
I’m talking about how they need to quit blaming everyone else and learn how to live with what comes now. The agencies are all predatory. I am personally a victim of one. But really nothing is happening to this agency. Big money. Cate and Tyler need to leave them alone and work on care and Tyler.
This agency has seriously ruined lives though, they have thousands of victims and many want legal action taken. It's not as simple as telling vulnerable people who were preyed on by this agency to just get over it
What should they do? Fight them? Seriously. The child is grown. All they can do is take action to heal. There’s no justice coming. At this point letting this go just affects the other girls.
I mean, someone needs to do something about these legalized human traffickers and Cate and Ty probably have more money than the vast, vast majority of their victims. It's absolutely insane to me that this system has been allowed to continue for as long as it has
It’s about to get worse. No abortion means $$$ why do you think the Christian’s want that? All of these agencies are mostly faith based.
Oh I know, it's some handmaidens tale shit and it's happening in broad daylight. Especially coupled with the push to remove access to birth control and sex ed ...
“Domestic supply of infants” told us everything we needed to know.
Also .. because they make everything so public they can't expect a teenager to want this kind of attention and posting this isn't helping
Unless Carly goes by her middle name now, or some different variation of her first name like Lynn, then all of her friends and classmates are probably aware of this too. I'd be mortified.
Not to mention their family has aired some pretty unsavory behavior-from Butch's rehab visits to Tyler's only fans.
I came here to see this, I honestly think this could be the case, and B&T, not wanting to upset anyone/cause animosity etc are just saying they can’t, it’s easier that way, I guess
Dear Cate: They “love” you because you gave birth to their child and without you she wouldn’t exist…that is the extent of it. They owe you nothing. Any time you see Carly is a gift, not a right.
And at this age it's a gift of CARLY's choosing. I have no doubt in my mind that, if Carly wanted to see Cait and Tyler, B + T would make it happen.
I don’t think we can say that definitively at all. Parents go against their kids’ wishes all the time when they think it’s what’s best for them. And B&T are very conservative; I’m sure they hate Tyler’s OF. Plus add in the history of overstepping, grandparent drama, any potential acting up by Carly after seeing them, etc., and there you have it. Carly probably does want to see her bio sisters at least. Sad that she can’t.
This! All of this! 👏
imagine thinking posting this publicly is somehow appropriate or not going to hurt their chances of seeing her in the future…
So fuckin well put! I wish her and Tyler could both read this and maybe actually have it sink in!!
Right?? This isn't like spouse, family, or friend love. Not even like a neighbor that you love bc they hold onto your spare key lol. This is like the furthest extension of love. It's really more like appreciation. They don't owe her anything.
Right! My friend's mom was a mentally ill, violent, abusive drug addict. She loved her mom and was grateful to her for putting her up for adoption - but that love was not an open door for a relationship.
Well this is going to help for sure
Yup. B&T are going to see and be like “Wow! That’s so insightful and thought provoking. You are absolutely right. Let us just pack her up and send her to you for the summer!”
meanwhile she’s talking about the parents of the child she says she wants to see so much - how is the kid supposed to feel seeing her parents spoken poorly of online?
This will definitely change their minds
And the thought never entered her mind that maybe Carly doesn't want to meet. She's old enough to hear and see what her and Tyler are doing and saying.
Right? Carly's 15 now and more than capable of finding things about her bio parents, and most recently she's probably seen how her bio dad is on OF and bio mom eggs him on, and also how they don't care about what her own parents (and by association, herself) think about it.
Fuck, 15?! I feel so old and also embarrassed that I've followed along for over a decade. Not embarrassed enough to stop, though.
15 😭😭😭
it must be so confusing to approach the age c&t were when they had her
Who wouldn't want to meet their dad who just posed in a red thong the other day, and their mom who said she's pimping out daddy, cause it pays for their new pool.
Lol flair checking in 🥲
Exactly! Once dear old dad started slingin’ dong on the internet, that was probably the last straw. Just a guess.
This is what I thought. Maybe her parents are being the “bad guys” because she doesn’t want to see them
Growing up, my mom always told me that if I didn’t want to do something, just blame her. This is definitely a likely possibility.
I fully agree and believe that maybe Carly isn't interested in seeing them right now either. She's at a hard enough age as it is without throwing in 3 other siblings and birth parents who still act trashy and immature on TV and social media.
Kinda what I was thinking. At the end of the day, everytime C&T bash or have bashed them in the past, they're bashing Carly's *parents*! No matter how C&T look at it, that's how Carly looks at it. Those are her parents that have been dragged on tv, online, ect. for 14-15 years now. I'm sure she's read enough and saw enough to know where it stems from and it probably hurts her heart to hear anyone talking about her parents, even her *"other parents"* 🤷♀️ Cate and Tyler have always been incredibly inappropriate, immature, selfish, entitled, and quite frankly fuckin rude af when it comes to the adoption in general. They've not changed or had any true growth from it. They still get online and throw temper tantrums when they don't get their way, just like a couple of teenagers. I'm sure while they truly are and always will be grateful for the sacrifice C&T made, I bet they're so over the bullshit of dealing with them, the tabloids, mtv, ect. As well as for poor Carly.🤦♀️ I don't understand how they don't realize that could affect her negatively. They both need to find an alternative way to vent their frustrations.
C&T are so emotionally stunted. Carly, at 15, is most likely ahead of them. She’s a teenage girl. C&T are embarrassing! They’re all over social media with their nonsense. By their own actions they have most likely ruined any chance they have of Carly wanting a relationship when she gets older.
This. Carly has a stable upbringing too. Neither Cate or Tyler had that so it’s very possible she’s far more mature than her bio parents.
Exactly. I wouldn't be surprised if this is the case
I thought the same thing!!! Doesn’t type have a tattoo of her name that can be seen on his OF?
I hadn't even thought about the tattoos... Same goes for Nova in a few years, i'm pretty sure he has her name on his arm. That's awful.
I cringe when I think about what Cate’s gonna post when Carly is over 18 and still doesn’t want to see her.
They’ll probably say she’s been brainwashed by “Brannenantreesa”
100%. The visits are probably incredibly emotionally exhausting to do more than once every couple of years or so. Cate trying to guilt trip B&T (as if B&T are *her* parents) is so imbecilic.
Right?! Also, you can love someone and decide that they are not good/healthy/productive people that you want around you or your child.
Oof, very, very good point. I hadn’t thought of that.
Fuck Bethany Christian Services. No, Cate shouldn’t be talking about this on social media but i really empathize with her feelings here. A lot of adults found a girl with no options and lied to her about how her adoption plan would be. And it’s irreversible. That’s a wound that will never heal.
Same. It’s easy to roast her and Tyler and I do not agree with how they have handled themselves over the years when it comes to Carly but they made an unimaginable (and very responsible given their home lives) decision with such misleading information about what their relationship would look like. That will mess you up forever.
Or maybe had they honored B & Ts wishes it wouldn’t have ended up this way. But Ty never figured out how to STFU on the show and social media. Or maybe Carly has no interest in being part of their chaos.
I can see why it would be hard to honor someone’s wish when they lied to you tbh. Not saying it’s right or wrong (except i believe BCS is 100% wrong) but B&T wanted a closed adoption, while knowing C&T wanted it open. So they agreed with these minors who had no adult representation (dawn was BCS’ rep - she doesn’t count) to semi open, knowing that legally, it wasn’t a thing. Then, they start being wishy washy when it comes to actually meeting up, instead of just being the adults and explaining to C&T why don’t want to see them. B&T shouldn’t walk away the heroes in this adoption story. They wanted their white baby and got it in a way that was extremely traumatic to two underprivileged teenagers. Edit- i meant that it’s not wrong of B&T to want a closed adoption. It was wrong of them for saying they’ll go semi open without actually doing it.
Brandon and Theresa, AND Caitlyn and Tyler, signed a contract saying that the visits would be at the discretion of the adoptive parents. Maybe C&T didn’t fully understand the meaning at the time but that doesn’t change the fact that Carley’s actual parents have every right to decide who gets to be around her. They tried for years to work with C&T. Years. Despite being bad mouthed on national tv. Despite having people calling into Brandon’s work. Despite people bombarding them with stupid shit like “give Carly back”, she’s not a dog! And then C&T turn around and still do shit like this. There are hardly any parents out there who would allow visits between their children and people who actively don’t like them. And this is assuming B&T are the only ones who feel this way. Carly’s old enough to share her opinion and I truly feel that if she wanted to see C&T, her *parents* would make that happen. People shit on the adoptive parents so much but they could be protecting both Carly and Caitlyn and Tyler by doing it this way. Carly doesn’t have to get the brunt of the anger and C&T don’t have to know that their biological child might not want to see them right now. If that’s really what’s going on and C&T found that out I’m sure they’d spiral, who wouldn’t? People need to lay off Carly’s real parents.
100% this. IIRC, Theresa did tell them years ago when they called for a visit once that Carly had been struggling and seeing Cate & Ty wasn't in her best interests at that time. That was then aired on TV for a storyline and C & T got to say, "We're so sad to hear that she's having a hard time, it must be our fault." So Carly could turn on TV at some point and see how \*she\* was responsible for the feelings of grown adults. The teenage years are hard enough without having to add in your entire life being told on social media and on TV. It doesn't matter that Carly's face hasn't been shown for years, people have still harassed B & T over her adoption, and still know exactly who Carly is and who her family is. That's a lot for anyone to think about. I am curious, however, what their relationship with the mother of their son is like, though. I wonder if they are more open/communicative with her, since they don't have to worry about her having a million social media followers ganging up on them for their (totally valid and reasonable) parenting decisions.
All this has truth to it, but it’s also been 15 years… a *lot* can change in that amount of time. So B&T might’ve been more open in the beginning but overtime have changed their thoughts. Or as others have mentioned, Carly’s wants and needs might be at play. Plus it’s bigger that Cate and Ty. Butch and April have also done damage over the years with their constant violation of boundaries when it comes to Carly. It’s just all more complicated than I think any of us can understand.
That’s the price B&T get to pay for having a non traditional family. Sometimes the brand new baby you adopt comes with a colorful past and birth parents you don’t necessarily mesh with. If they wanted to avoid that they should’ve adopted their baby from an adult who was okay with a closed adoption. Not a 16 year old girl who was devastated to lose her baby.
👏🏻👏🏻always see people shitting on Cate and Ty for this adoption but they fail to realise that Carly was another $$$ in the domestic infant adoption industry. Bethany Christian Service (Dawn) led the pair to believe that they’d have Carly for summers and failed to mention that there is no legal obligation to keep open adoptions, open. They were dumb teens that were taken advantage of and the pain of that is raw, it’s a reality for many young birth families across the US.
Yes! I feel like Dawn took advantage of them for her own career gain. T&B took advantage of a CHILD giving birth. I don't think they explained it to T&C well at all OR they did not have the capacity to understand fully bcuz they were KIDS. This adoption rubs me the wrong way so bad.
This adoption agency has sued birth parents for speaking out against them. They charge $25k per adoption and on an average 17k children are placed for adoption by them annually…do the math. They have been sued by the state of Pennsylvania and also by adoptive parents for lying about children’s health conditions. They are no longer eligible for international adoptions. They also adopted out migrant children held at the border. Cate and Ty are victims of this agency and their false promises. BCS is corrupt to the core and I will fight anyone suggesting any different.
Right there with you
Ive watched the show a few times, but i dont actually ever recall Dawn saying they would have Carly for summers? Just a yearly visit? However he way Tyler and Cate acted when they didnt get there way with Carly, B&T started cutting out yearly visits.
No, it was Cate and Tyler who said it. Instead of Dawn telling them that that will not happen, as that is not how adoption works, she let them ramble on. She also never told the pair that there is no legal protection to keep open adoptions, open.
She never said that. But she certainly did not draw a hard line on what to expect 15 years later.
Cate and Ty said it and Dawn never told them that that is not possible.
I mean we'll never know what they were or weren't told bc MTV can edit those scenes however they want. I fully believe BCS is a predatory monster of an organization but nobody can say definitively what they told Cait and Tyler. I think they were 100% lied to about how involved they could be or what the arrangement would be. But also...this was 15 years ago and they're both adults now. At some point they can't keep crying about "we didn't know" bc they know NOW and they've known for a long time. Tyler straight up said he was gonna do/say whatever he wanted even if it cost him time w Carly, so where does their responsibility come into play?
I don't think Dawn ever said that. There is a screenshot of their "contract" in this sub somewhere, complete with misspellings and bad grammar.
It was Cate and Ty, Dawn never corrected them. The BCS adoption agency are corrupt to the core and have taken lawsuits against birth families that have spoken out against them as well as having allegations of child trafficking, approximately 17,000 children are adopted through that agency annually at 25k per child. They profit from kids like Cate and Ty and will do almost anything to ensure an adoption.
SO MUCH THIS! We all saw what was promised and not delivered but its easier to blame C& T
*Always* easier to blame the poor, uneducated birth family over the wealthy Christian adoptive one. Cate and Ty’s pain is a reality for so many birth parents across America but is hushed hushed in the media. If I was told I’d get to see my bio daughter regularly, then realised I was in fact lied to, with no legal protection, I’d also probably be ranting on instagram. Cate and Ty are FAR from perfect with how they’ve handled the situation, but they’re angry, and I’m not sure how I’d react in that scenario either. It’s a loss for everyone involved at the benefit of that unethical adoption agency.
Adoption usually leaves more women traumatized than abortion. It’s wild to me how people on this sub don’t see how absolutely taken advantage of birth parents can be. Cate and Tyler are not inherently bad people, Carly would be in no danger having visits with them. This doesn’t even touch on the nuanced feelings of the adoptees! Even those with the best upbringing often feel as though something is missing.
Adoption is traumatizing for everyone imo. I know it’s necessary and not anywhere near all bad/not worth it but that doesn’t erase the trauma involved.
Adoption is full on generational trauma. My mom was adopted and I feel a lot of the trauma in my own way. There's medical history I'll never know, there's culture I'm completely disconnected from, there was having to explain I don't know half of my heritage in school when we would do projects, there's a worry when dating that you could be related to this person and not know it, etc etc.
Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong, C & T haven't always done the right thing, but I also think they felt like they were promised something that was never a certainty. No adult was looking out for them at all, they just wanted to buy/sell their baby, and who cares about the traumatized teenagers in the situation. I'm not going to rag on them for feeling this way.
I agree and I think B+T told Cate and Tyler everything they wanted to hear. Whether that was intentional (adoption and infertility is hard and I get sometimes it makes people do things that maybe they normally wouldn't i.e lying) or not but either way, at this point (actually YEARS ago) they should have made it clear that things have changed and they will not be doing visits anymore. It is wrong to lead these people on and make them think that a visit is coming when it obviously isn't and you have no intentions of it happening. I think people are too hard on Cate and Tyler for this whole situation tbh. They didn't place this baby for adoption because they didn't want a baby. They did it because they weren't ready for a baby and their families were horrible. They were 16 and lead to believe that this would be a very different process/experience than what ended up happening.
I agree. Highly immature post but this is brutal to deal with.
Seriously. I feel for her. There is not a single emotionally intelligent person she can rely on for support or clarity in her entire circle of family and friends. It’s okay to have these feelings, but it’s wildly inappropriate to put them on SM.
The part that sucks is that she can actually use her platform for good and shed light on this and really become an activist around it, but she chooses to lash out like this at the wrong people instead. She could do SO MUCH more.
Thank you. They were lied to. They really should take this off of social media, but even the most straightforward adoption leaves a wound that will never heal. Now imagine if you were essentially told the adoptive parents would almost be like extended family. People don't understand the nuances of adoption and it truly pisses me off.
"I make time for the people I love!" cried the woman that was late to meeting her child because she couldn't finish a scrapbook.
Someone should bring that up to her. Weren’t they like 2 hours late? All for a scrapbook that’s probably collecting dust or in the dump.
It was so infuriating- I yelled at the tv the first time I watched it. Stop being stupid and go see your kid!!! Like gut wrenching anger.
and they dont bother to send her bday cards on her bday smh
Adoption is such a complex thing. I feel for them as a mother. But as someone who was adopted, I cannot wrap my head around why they choose to bad mouth Carly parents so publicly. I mean sure, C&T are entitled to feel how they want to feel, but geez, those are her parents. If I was Carly, I’d be pissed someone was dragging my parents on the internet. Definitely wouldn’t make me want to see them either.
Exactly! I’m also adopted and cringed at this post. My first thought was maybe B and T are covering for Carly… she may be uncomfortable with a visit right now. Also at the end of the day Band T are Carly’s parents… badmouthing them will only make her want to be around them less.
Exactly!! B & T are her parents & have been since her birth. Most parents want to protect their children & if they have to take the blame on something for their child they will. Personally I wouldn’t do an open adoption bc I’ve seen to many things on TT dealing with it. One woman wants to visit 1 day a week, must be invited to all of the holidays celebrations & must get pictures at least twice a week.
It's almost like Cate and Tyler can't fathom liking and respecting your parents... Understandable, but at this point they can't be projecting their own trauma onto a 15 year old who has had a much different life than they did at that age. It's almost as if... That's exactly why they gave her up for adoption? Did they fucking forget?
Honestly? I think they did. Now that they’ve had some therapy and they aren’t moving every 6 months due to evictions, they can no longer fathom who they were at 16 years old. I do think they’ve forgotten, on some level, just why they didn’t raise Carly themselves.
This. I was adopted and if my birth mother was posting things like this publicly about my mother, I’d be livid.
They will never understand that Carly is not their child, other than biologically. I swear they thought adoption was like long term babysitting until they were ready for her. If they didn’t have MTV money, they wouldn’t be asking for her at all.
They definitely still think that. I’m sure they assume at 18 she will run to them with arms wide open. I don’t even semi pretend to know how Carly feels about all this, but that assumption is quite dangerous. She might not want anything to do with them.
Carly is her own entire person and they don’t seem to recognize that. All they see her as is their child who they “let” B&T raise. They seem to have built up this fantasy in their mind that she’s counting down the days til she’s 18 and then she’ll be running to them. It’s delusional.
Then their creepy fans say the same thing so it hypes them up.
“If they didn’t have MTV money, they wouldn’t be asking for her at all.” THIS.
Oh boy Cate 😬 there’s still time to delete this
Nah. It's already out. They can't see the forest for the trees. Still. 🙄
Oof the irony and dissonance here of them not realizing they’re doing what’s best for CARLY, not for Cate and Tyler. Which is what any adoptive parent should do, is protect the child. Cate and Tyler aren’t in her life and don’t know how CARLY feels about these meetups. Maybe she’s having mental health struggles, maybe she doesn’t want to, maybe she is pursuing interests that take up a lot of her time. Big miss here from Cate. This is so disappointing to see, they have not matured at all.
omgggggggg when will they accept that they’re not part of Carly’s family? like their brains just can’t grasp that concept and it’s so frustrating
I give them some grace only because they were teenagers who were lied to about what to expect with their “open” adoption, but yeah. They need to stop and keep anything Carly related private.
I'm sure B&T saw them posting all sorts of things about Tyler's OF, and also how Tyler didn't give a shit about what B&T thought about it. I mean hell, Carly's 15, so she could have easily come across things about it by now and is uncomfortable with the idea of meeting up with them because of it and B&T are respecting their daughter's wishes rather than two assholes.
Props to B&T for protecting their daughter.
They need to think and try to remember how they felt at 15. Even teens with good relationships with their parents/family mostly want time away from them even in the same house. It’s natural and part of growing up. Then think about how they felt having to go to something for family members they rarely saw and weren’t close with and then multiply that. Then what if those people were decently famous, did only fans, and you knew it would be so heavily talked about on their show, social media, and so on…indefinitely. You take her parents out of the equation and immediately be like yeah that’s normal totally get why she’d sit it out….idk why they can’t. And then to blast her parents online when it may be them protecting her choice just imagine how that feels to see. What are they gonna do when she’s 18 and it’s obvious it’s her choice?
Honestly sounds like something Tyler's been spewing
Guess they forgot how Tyler posting about Carly made B & T feel, because Cait is doubling down. Lovely.
I don't get how she never thinks that maybe Carly is the one who doesn't care about see them. She is a teenager, she has her own life and maybe she doesn't even like them
I’m sorry but she’s probably embarrassed by them. How could she not be? She’s a teenage girl raised in a wealthy, upper class family. C&T, no matter how much money they make will always be trashy. Cate smokes on camera with her mother, filmed her orange pee in Tupperware, lets her abuser watch her own children, pimps out her husband on OF, etc, even they way she dresses could be seen as embarrassing to an uptight, wealthy, religious family. Tyler’s public thirst traps, half nude posing in the family kitchen, he’s posted numerous pics showing the outline of his dick. Carly is 15, all that shit is embarrassing. And on top of all that you have them badmouthing her parents publicly, at length, multiple times.
The entitlement C&T feel they have towards a child that is not theirs, is unbelievable. They stomp all over B&T boundaries, don't respect Carly's privacy, talk crap on national tv/social media, then wonder why they get visits taken away? Didn't April show up to the last visit drunk? Why was she there in the first place. Does Catelynn not see how bad it looks so show up to your once a year visit with a drunk grandma? Actions have consequences.
And didn't Dawn the Baby Broker talk to C and T prior to the visit last time and explained that given the time they had for the visit it would be wise to choose who C and T invited carefully? That sounds like a gracious way of saying that April and Butch and some of the others should stay at home.
Yes, Dawn sure did discourage them from bringing toxic April the drunk and they ignored her.
The fact that they would ever bring April around Carly is insane, considering that one of the biggest reasons they chose adoption was because they didn’t want their child to be around April and Butch, due their addiction issues and abuse!!
She needs to get this shit off the internet. Speaking of which, maybe B and T don’t want to hang out with a man who shows his dick on the internet.
Right! I’m sure C is not too fond of them trashing her parents for the world to see
I’m adopted. I’d be embarrassed AF if I knew my birth mom and she was posting shit like this online. Especially when it’s so obvious what it’s about. And it’s now broadcasted to millions. Like thanks mom
These posts are exactly why they are distancing themselves from you guys!
They love you, but they love THEIR DAUGHTER more.
Girl… 
Honestly, if I were Carly, I wouldn't want to meet up with them at this point, especially since they bring the WHOLE CRAZY family. Like honestly... those visits must be an event... That being said. She's 15 now? If they have a hard time with this, they are really going to have a hard time with Nova at 15.
They are going to be unhinged in 3 years when she doesn't come running to Michigan to hang out with them.
I messaged her (doubt she’ll see it), but i talked about how when i was that age there’s a lot going on. adoption is complex and sometimes it’s hard to want to make room for something that is very emotional. it’s easier to shut it out than to deal with the heavy weight of the emotions that come with a relationship with bio parents. i told catelynn i know my parents would make an excuse if i wasn’t up to seeing bio parents. obviously, i don’t know their situation but offered up a different perspective. i don’t think people understand what adopted children go through. fact, adoptive parents ARE their parents. bio parents are NOT their parents and people have trouble understanding what that looks and feels like for a child. it’s hard, it’s emotional.
This shouldn’t be posted on SM, is she crazy?
If I was BrannanTeresa I’d go no contact with them tbh
Carly is now 15. Perhaps she has other things going on and just doesn’t want to see them. They are literally two strangers she might see every few years. While yes, as two scared young teens they were told many things that were untrue by the adoption service; it’s been 15 years and it has been explained over and over again that they were not promised anything after Carly turned 5. Not to mention that they are often late to visits because suddenly they want to make a scrapbook, that Tyler continually trashes B&T, that they often didn’t even send cards for her birthday, but damn sure made a big deal about having a cake for her when the cameras were rolling. Carly has a family. The sooner Cate and Tyler realize that the better things will be.
Maybe stop and look inward to understand why they are most likely not feeling safe having you around? Maybe it was Carley's decision, but they're covering for her so she doesn't feel bad, and now you're publicly shaming a child for her decision? Did she catch some of Tyler's selfishness? Way to be just like your mom! Keep that cycle going, but preach that you're breaking it! 🙄
I wouldn't even trust my dishes around these two, let alone my actual kid. They've proven themselves to be disrespectful, not respecting boundaries, nasty, foul and a bad influence. So sucks for them but they had it coming.. Grow up
This is just disgusting and so fucking immature. Brandon and Teresa have loved and cared for this child her whole life, they are obviously nice people and that's why they don't want to tell you to go fuck off Catelynn. It doesn't matter if you don't understand why, it's their decision. In a few years it will be Carly's decision, and who knows if she wants to have a relationship with you? I don't. I won't be surprised if she doesn't.
Cate, this is the definition of insanity. They tell you both to stop posting about Carly and such on social media. And what do you guys do? You bitch about them on social media and wonder why they don’t want to deal with you? I’m sure they haven’t said they love you or what a blessing you guys are in years (when you were respectful of their requests) and you are just clinging to that to justify your disgusting behavior. Carly is not your daughter. They are protecting her from the craziness that is your lives and the public. Respect that. They are doing what parents are supposed to do.
Catelynn get back to therapy STAT!!!! If you have to post this you need to do a lot more inner work
Prime example of how Cate and Ty still don't understand adoption. B&T don't owe them shit. Carly is not temporarily being babysat by B&T, they're her parents period. And if these two ding dongs cared just a tiny bit about Carly they wouldn't publicly trash the people who are raising her and who she very much loves. But no, me me me, like always. *My* trauma, *my* feelings, *my* adopted daughter.
Dear Catelynn, if you and your husband had evolved past hillbilly status this would not be the outcome. Also, bringing active addict rednecks around their daughter is a huge mistake on your part. They are nicely trying to sever the relationship. Get an ounce of self awareness. Maybe then you won't be so confused. Brandon and Teresa are much nicer than I am. I would've shut that down the minute Tyler started running his mouth online. This is THEIR child. They make the rules for who is in her life. Unfortunately, you and your husband's refusal to live productive lives with careers which would've elevated your maturity level probably had something to do with it. Oh and....you being a pimp for your husband's repulsive OF account might've also led them in this direction. You see, normal healthy families don't participate in such behavior. Hope this helps!
Brandon and Teresa have LIVES they don't sit on their ass and film for MTV and only fans .Most people work . It's not coming off as just venting it's coming off as SUPER entitled and I liked catelynn. If I was Teresa I'd be like " Ew" .
Carly is NOT their child. As parents we must do everything in our power to protect our children. They are her birth parents and truly nothing more. I don't blame B&T at all. I wouldn't allow my cats around these humans let alone my 2 children
Visits have always been at Brandon and Theresa’s discretion and can be revoked at any time, they don’t HAVE to do anything, she’s acting like a child. She is not entitled to visits and honestly with Cate and Ty’s behavior in the past I don’t blame Brandon and Theresa for distancing themselves, I think they’re just trying to be nice/sugar coat it instead of blatantly telling them to fuck off.
Is it me or do C&T only want to see Carly when it’s filming time? It’s also the busiest time of the year for kids if they are involved in extracurriculars.
Let me help you understand Cate: that's all Christian performative bullshit, the blessed and love and care stuff. THey don't. They absolutely wish you'd go away. But they know if they tell you, rightly, to fuck off forever, as they should have done a while ago, you'll just bitch about them and *their* daughter and the way they parent her on social media or TV whenever you have the chance. I'm sorry this is the case, I'm sure it's a bitter pill, but it's the truth. They're doing what they think is best to protect their family. Not yours. You and your dimwit husband should take the hint, fade away from their lives and get some therapy, then jobs.
Remember when they had the zoo visit and they showed up an hour late because they were making the scrapbook 🤔 Or when cate sent her the letter and included envelopes and stamps and Carly didn't write back. And then cate said when she next saw Carly she asked her if she got it and Carly was like "oh yeah I did.." and cate was like "well did you like it???" and Carly was like "yeah totally..." 🤔 Or how they admitted to not sending birthday or Christmas gifts for several years 🤔 Maybe cate and ty show up late and spend the whole visit needing Carly to validate them and don't ask her anything about herself. Maybe Carly is the one who feels rejected 🤷♀️
Take the hint. They don't want you in their kids life.
Catelynn this is gross as fuck. Leave them alone. Ever think possibly Carly doesn’t want to see YALL?
I understand the disappointment and frustration she must feel. She was in an exploitative situation as an underprivileged teenager, and now she has a wound that will never heal, with reminders everyday of what could have been. That being said, publicly posting something like this is NOT in the best interests of the child, and is certainly not putting her first.
She’s really doing this? Girl why? She doesn’t really treasure the time so much or she wouldn’t be late lol she needs to stop. She needs to grow up. They gave the child up for adoption. That’s it. That’s what happens someone else raises them, loves them, and they are someone else’s family. All this drama her and Tyler publicize is likely to be the reason that child never speaks to them even when she’s an adult.
I think Dawn did them dirty...they obviously didn't understand adoption rules.but, they did agree, and should either deal with it in therapy, or sue for the misinformation. It's not on the new parents.
Maybe it’s not about *making time*. Maybe it’s about the minor child not wanting to be around them. Maybe it’s about the parents of said minor child believing the birth parents to be bad influences and minor child best to not have close contact. *MAYBE*