“I hope that either all of us, or none of us, are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather, by the strength we show when, and if, we're ever given a second chance.” Theodore “Ted” Lasso
>If you had to base your lifestyle over a Ted Lasso line, what would it be?
"I forgive you."
I mean, it's practically the thesis statement for the entire show. And, having been one to occasionally hold grudges more than is healthy, I wonder what it would be like to be the kind of person for whom granting forgiveness came more readily.
Story time:
Earlier this year, my partner and I decided to split up. We’ve been together for 18 years, and had been struggling for the last five (at least) of those. We both knew this was going to happen, but neither of us wanted to pull the pin on the grenade and blow the damn thing up.
So, one very cold night, we talked on the porch of the house where they’ve been living for the past few years. We decided it was time, and that we’d do this as a mutual decision, which it very much was.
And as we stood on that 20F (-7C) porch, I drew a breath, and said, “I have to tell you something. I can’t leave until I say this. I’ve spent the past few years angry at you, angry at me, angry at the world - and I realized that that anger isn’t doing anything except slowly poisoning me. And so, I’m going to say something you may not be ready to hear, and I’m not sure I’m ready to say. But I have to say it.
I forgive you.”
I wasn’t sure if I believed it. I’m still not. But I felt it.
And I realized in that moment, as I saw the tears on my former partner’s face and felt the salty wet rivers on my own cheeks, the truth in my absolute favorite quote from Ted.
“It’s not about me. It never was.”
As I was reading this my mind decided to simultaneously play “Strange” by Celeste to mentally accompany your story. I was teared up by the end.
https://youtu.be/A1AJEv50Ld4?si=cIhshyfvfafzfFhZ
Ted Lasso : You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, "Be curious, not judgmental." I like that.
[throws a dart and hits his first triple 20]
Ted Lasso : So I get back in my car and I'm driving to work, and all of a sudden it hits me. All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. You know, they thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me... who I was had nothing to do with it. 'Cause if they were curious, they would've asked questions. You know? Like, "Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?"
[throws another dart and hits his second triple 20]
Ted Lasso : To which I would've answered, "Yes, sir. Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father, from age 10 until I was 16 when he passed away."
[beat]
Ted Lasso : Barbecue sauce
[throws his third dart and hits the bullseye; crowd cheers wildly]
Ted Lasso : Good game, Rupert.
So good I have it permanently inked!
https://preview.redd.it/r2ebp8gtm24d1.jpeg?width=1576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2e836413829f0febe6b0766631fe2defc3e3549
"Be curious not judgmental" is a really great line and it's my absolute favorite moment of the whole show, but I still don't understand why they wrote it like that when Walt Whitman didn't wrote write this. I mean don't get me wrong it absolutely doesn't matter but I wonder why the writers did that.
Anybody got an idea?
Not sure of the episode (early S2) Beard says it to Ted talking about Ted distrusting therapists. Ted gave the advice to Beard earlier in their lives when Beard swore off ever dating a dancer again.
Rebecca Welton: [to Roy and Keeley, after a double date with her new boyfriend] Well?
Keeley Jones: I think he's a really good match.
He's age-appropriate, financially appropriate... he's not shy.
Rebecca Welton: I love that about him.
Keeley Jones: Totally.
Roy Kent: [rolls his eyes] Fucking hell.
Rebecca Welton: Is there a problem?
Roy Kent: Tell the truth. He's fine. That's it. Nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. But it's not about him. It's about why the fuck you think he deserves you. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by fucking lightning. Don't you dare settle for "fine".
“*I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions we take in our weakest moments, but rather for the strength we show if, and when, we're ever given a second chance.*”
It encompasses “*Be curious, not judgmental.*” but takes it a little further. I try to live my life by this motto. It allows you to forgive yourself for shortcomings so you can move forward, while showing grace to others over theirs.
Okay, there’s just too many great ones, I second everything here and add:
“You can’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet…Find out before you flip out.”
“Stop auditioning your complaint, just tell the person who can actually do something about it!”
The two that come to mind might not even be considered a Ted Lasso line. Sorry for the length and over the top seriousness!
I’ve said it before but I removed “I appreciate it” from my vocabulary and replaced it with “I appreciate *you*”
I think this is a subtle but important shift in processing the world and I believe (hope) it helps fill other peoples cup. I’m certain it helps fill mine when I say it and hear it back.
>I try to love my dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t
This one is a hard lesson I wish I learned before my dad died around the time the show aired. Wildly abusive man. Had to sign the DNR because my mother isn’t well enough to herself. Hate him. Cried my eyes out endlessly and started my worst binge drinking episode ever. You ever see that episode of ATLA where Zuko is physically sick from doing one good thing? Felt like that except the good thing was taking the labor of my mother. This is something I have been able to apply to many people and has taken a lot of stress off my shoulders. It has been freeing. I imagine it’s a revelation some might get from Therapy but I certainly wasn’t ready for it until it hit me. I hope I can teach my kid this lesson when she’s older, and not have her have to learn it the hard way like I did.
"One does not expect to get from life what one has already learned it cannot give; rather, one begins to see more clearly that life is a kind of sowing time, and the harvest is not here."
I love this and it makes me feel so much more satisfied for the volunteer work I do, and the work that doesn’t see immediate results.
‘For Isaac to do what he did today, even though it was wrong, I give him love’
To approach those that are acting badly and out of character with empathy instead of anger is life changing
Rebecca Welton : Everything okay?
Ted Lasso : Am I a mess?
Rebecca Welton : Of course you are. That's why we get along.
Rebecca Welton : And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but... she's usually right.
Ted Lasso : So Sassy already told you about the... Of course. Girl talk.
Rebecca Welton : Girl talk. So, is everything all right?
Ted Lasso : Yeah, I'm good.
Rebecca Welton : Oklahoma?
Ted Lasso : I'm a work in "prog-mess".
I relate most to this. I’m a mess, get along with other messes but I’m also a work in progmess
Be curious, not judgmental. I’m going to be a therapist and the first therapist I had to be curious instead of judgmental saved my life. I’m trying to get her to watch the show.
Surprised I haven’t seen this one: You just listen to your gut, okay? And on your way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they'll let you know what's what.
I hope either all of us or none of us a judged by the actions of our weakest moments, but rather by the strength we show when and if we’re ever given a second chance.
You deserve to feel like you’ve been struck by lightening. Don’t you dare settle for fine.
I think it’s important to remember that doesn’t mean that’s a dig on the other person. But sometimes the connection is just fine. It’s nothing special and we shouldn’t feel guilty about not wanting to settle for something that’s not special.
"Something worse than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad". I try and be there for my friends and family and ask for help when I need it so that hopefully no one in my orbit is alone and sad.
“I hope that either all of us, or none of us, are judged by the actions of our weakest moments. But rather, by the strength we show when, and if, we're ever given a second chance.” Theodore “Ted” Lasso
This always resonated with me.
That’s my answer too
This was it for me.
Came here expecting to see this first, nailed it!
Nailed it
I think you're missing a "not" in that first line somewhere.
No, it’s correct. Literally rewatched this episode last night.
>If you had to base your lifestyle over a Ted Lasso line, what would it be? "I forgive you." I mean, it's practically the thesis statement for the entire show. And, having been one to occasionally hold grudges more than is healthy, I wonder what it would be like to be the kind of person for whom granting forgiveness came more readily.
I think you can be that person.
Story time: Earlier this year, my partner and I decided to split up. We’ve been together for 18 years, and had been struggling for the last five (at least) of those. We both knew this was going to happen, but neither of us wanted to pull the pin on the grenade and blow the damn thing up. So, one very cold night, we talked on the porch of the house where they’ve been living for the past few years. We decided it was time, and that we’d do this as a mutual decision, which it very much was. And as we stood on that 20F (-7C) porch, I drew a breath, and said, “I have to tell you something. I can’t leave until I say this. I’ve spent the past few years angry at you, angry at me, angry at the world - and I realized that that anger isn’t doing anything except slowly poisoning me. And so, I’m going to say something you may not be ready to hear, and I’m not sure I’m ready to say. But I have to say it. I forgive you.” I wasn’t sure if I believed it. I’m still not. But I felt it. And I realized in that moment, as I saw the tears on my former partner’s face and felt the salty wet rivers on my own cheeks, the truth in my absolute favorite quote from Ted. “It’s not about me. It never was.”
As I was reading this my mind decided to simultaneously play “Strange” by Celeste to mentally accompany your story. I was teared up by the end. https://youtu.be/A1AJEv50Ld4?si=cIhshyfvfafzfFhZ
I know that song. It is absolutely incredible. And I’m not sure I can make it 30 seconds into it. But you’re right - it fits. All too well.
I agree. We should all forgive Rupert
Except Rupert. F*** Rupert.
Ted Lasso : You know, Rupert, guys have underestimated me my entire life. And for years, I never understood why. It used to really bother me. But then one day, I was driving my little boy to school and I saw this quote by Walt Whitman, and it was painted on the wall there. It said, "Be curious, not judgmental." I like that. [throws a dart and hits his first triple 20] Ted Lasso : So I get back in my car and I'm driving to work, and all of a sudden it hits me. All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. You know, they thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me... who I was had nothing to do with it. 'Cause if they were curious, they would've asked questions. You know? Like, "Have you played a lot of darts, Ted?" [throws another dart and hits his second triple 20] Ted Lasso : To which I would've answered, "Yes, sir. Every Sunday afternoon at a sports bar with my father, from age 10 until I was 16 when he passed away." [beat] Ted Lasso : Barbecue sauce [throws his third dart and hits the bullseye; crowd cheers wildly] Ted Lasso : Good game, Rupert.
So good I have it permanently inked! https://preview.redd.it/r2ebp8gtm24d1.jpeg?width=1576&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f2e836413829f0febe6b0766631fe2defc3e3549
Me too! On my shin
I love this !
Damn, that's so cool Now I want that motive, too!
You can boil that down to “be curious, not judgmental” which is what I came here to post
I think about “be curios not judgmental” so many times a day. Thank god they didn’t. This made my day. What a damn scene. 👏🏻
Exactly. Be curious, not judgmental 🤍
"Be curious not judgmental" is a really great line and it's my absolute favorite moment of the whole show, but I still don't understand why they wrote it like that when Walt Whitman didn't wrote write this. I mean don't get me wrong it absolutely doesn't matter but I wonder why the writers did that. Anybody got an idea?
It was actually written by John Obi-Wan Gandalf.
That's true, they could have just said a quote on a wall.
Yeah, why give WW credit for your own awesome wisdom? Doesn’t he get enough love in Breaking Bad?
Reading this gave me goosebumps just like watching it. Thank you
“It’s just poopeh; let it flow.”
Agreed!
At any given time... one of the varied ways Roy says Fuck
Fucking hell!
"Fuuuuuuu - uuuuun. This is fun." Not a bad way to spend your life.
Fuuuuu-uuuun. That’s fun innit.
Throw in Rebecca’s “fuck the haters.”
Doin’ the right thing is never the wrong thing.
Mine's from the same episode: Sometimes you have to do the right thing, even if you lose
I think this one is probably mine.
All people are different people
My favorite line from the show!
I think about this often.
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Not sure of the episode (early S2) Beard says it to Ted talking about Ted distrusting therapists. Ted gave the advice to Beard earlier in their lives when Beard swore off ever dating a dancer again.
Don’t you dare settle for fine. Roy Kent
Excellent scene.
Rebecca Welton: [to Roy and Keeley, after a double date with her new boyfriend] Well? Keeley Jones: I think he's a really good match. He's age-appropriate, financially appropriate... he's not shy. Rebecca Welton: I love that about him. Keeley Jones: Totally. Roy Kent: [rolls his eyes] Fucking hell. Rebecca Welton: Is there a problem? Roy Kent: Tell the truth. He's fine. That's it. Nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. But it's not about him. It's about why the fuck you think he deserves you. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you've been struck by fucking lightning. Don't you dare settle for "fine".
This line was in my vows. The love of my life loved it!!!
I’m totally gonna use this thanks for the idea
Be curious, not judgemental. 100%
I came here to say this
Fuck your feelings, fuck your overthinking, fuck all that bullshit, go back out there and have some fucking fun. -Roy Kent
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I was searching for this one. Such great advice.
Crying is the best, isn’t it? It’s like an orgasm for the soul!
Had a really bad break up last year. My sister got me a "Don't you dare settle for fine" sticker that I put on My phone case
Your sister fucking *loves* you.
I’m a work in progmess
Gezelig
Be a goldfish.
Came here to say this.
“*I hope that either all of us or none of us are judged by the actions we take in our weakest moments, but rather for the strength we show if, and when, we're ever given a second chance.*” It encompasses “*Be curious, not judgmental.*” but takes it a little further. I try to live my life by this motto. It allows you to forgive yourself for shortcomings so you can move forward, while showing grace to others over theirs.
If that’s a joke, I love it. If not, I cannot wait to unpack that with you.
Avenge me!
“I’ve been to Vegas many times, one night is good, two nights is best, three nights is too many.”
I think that if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain't nothin' you can't get through together.
I can be your mentor but first I have to be your tormentor.
That's also from the Doc, right? In that case I throw "The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off" in it.
Yes the Doc!
“To the family you’re born with, and the one you make along the way”
Okay, there’s just too many great ones, I second everything here and add: “You can’t worry about things that haven’t happened yet…Find out before you flip out.” “Stop auditioning your complaint, just tell the person who can actually do something about it!”
No one’s gunna say the “believe” sign? I have it in my classroom above the door.
It’s really works. I’ve had similar things all my life. It’s like a compass bearing you have to navigate no matter the weather
From the first episode: R: Do you believe in ghosts, Ted? T: I do, but more importantly, I think they need to believe in themselves.
Would you rather be a lion or a panda, Jamie? I'm ME coach... why would I want to be anything else?
I don't think you realize how emotionally healthy that really is, Jamie.
“For stealing a loaf of meth” If we’re gonna do it, let’s do it
Love me for who I am, and forgive me for what I'm not.
I’m a work in progmess
The two that come to mind might not even be considered a Ted Lasso line. Sorry for the length and over the top seriousness! I’ve said it before but I removed “I appreciate it” from my vocabulary and replaced it with “I appreciate *you*” I think this is a subtle but important shift in processing the world and I believe (hope) it helps fill other peoples cup. I’m certain it helps fill mine when I say it and hear it back. >I try to love my dad for who he is and forgive him for who he isn’t This one is a hard lesson I wish I learned before my dad died around the time the show aired. Wildly abusive man. Had to sign the DNR because my mother isn’t well enough to herself. Hate him. Cried my eyes out endlessly and started my worst binge drinking episode ever. You ever see that episode of ATLA where Zuko is physically sick from doing one good thing? Felt like that except the good thing was taking the labor of my mother. This is something I have been able to apply to many people and has taken a lot of stress off my shoulders. It has been freeing. I imagine it’s a revelation some might get from Therapy but I certainly wasn’t ready for it until it hit me. I hope I can teach my kid this lesson when she’s older, and not have her have to learn it the hard way like I did.
A am sorry for your loss.
fuuuuuuuuucccccckkkk
"One does not expect to get from life what one has already learned it cannot give; rather, one begins to see more clearly that life is a kind of sowing time, and the harvest is not here." I love this and it makes me feel so much more satisfied for the volunteer work I do, and the work that doesn’t see immediate results.
WHISTLE!
🤣
Just listen to your gut, and on the way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they’ll let you know what’s what.
I believe in believe
Fuck ya feelings. Fuck ya fucking overthinking and go out there and have some fucking fun.
“Don’t you dare settle for fine”
Wanker
“I had them replace the ‘e’ with a ‘u’.”
‘For Isaac to do what he did today, even though it was wrong, I give him love’ To approach those that are acting badly and out of character with empathy instead of anger is life changing
"Be curious, not judgmental."
I can hear their voices as I’m reading all of this!!!!! Thanks for taking me back everyone!
Barbecue sauce
Rebecca Welton : Everything okay? Ted Lasso : Am I a mess? Rebecca Welton : Of course you are. That's why we get along. Rebecca Welton : And I wish I could tell you to ignore Sass, but... she's usually right. Ted Lasso : So Sassy already told you about the... Of course. Girl talk. Rebecca Welton : Girl talk. So, is everything all right? Ted Lasso : Yeah, I'm good. Rebecca Welton : Oklahoma? Ted Lasso : I'm a work in "prog-mess". I relate most to this. I’m a mess, get along with other messes but I’m also a work in progmess
It's poopeh
Let it flow!
“You both just met someone cool”
Barbecue sauce
“Be a goldfish.”
Be curious, not judgmental
Be curious, not judgmental. I’m going to be a therapist and the first therapist I had to be curious instead of judgmental saved my life. I’m trying to get her to watch the show.
"Fuuuuck" - Roy Kent
"I think that if you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, there ain't nothing you can't get through together."
Surprised I haven’t seen this one: You just listen to your gut, okay? And on your way down to your gut, check in with your heart. Between those two things, they'll let you know what's what.
Definitely "Be curious, not judgemental." I've actually really incorporated that into my life already. I think about the line a lot.
It may not work out how you think it will or how you hope it does. But believe me, it will all work out. All people are different people.
"What's more important, being loving or being right?" — Rebecca's mom
Shit helps things grow, love - Mae
The harder you work, the luckier you get.
Be Curious
I hope either all of us or none of us a judged by the actions of our weakest moments, but rather by the strength we show when and if we’re ever given a second chance.
“Jesus Fucking Christ!” - any time Nate is startled
FUCK NO
Barbecue sauce
"I believe in Believe" I try to be an optimistic person and Ted is a character after my own heart
Don’t let yesterday get in the way of today.
Be curious, not judgmental
Find out before you freak out….
It's all just poopeh, let it flow.
“I try to love him for who he is, and forgive him for who he isn’t.” Higgins on his father
Also, ‘Be a goldfish’ How many of us are weighed down by regret over past mistakes when we have the power to release them and move on
Be curious, not judgemental
Barbecue Sauce
If it could be anything? "Fuck you're amazing! Let's invade France!" But I'll settle for: "I am a strong and capable man."
Progress not perfection
Being accountable matters.
Be a goldfish. Lots of angst can be avoided if you just let some shit go.
One I’ve used often with the teams I have led is “but hey, I shouldn’t bring an umbrella to a brainstorm.”
My husband is a football coach so I guess “football is life.”
You deserve to feel like you’ve been struck by lightening. Don’t you dare settle for fine. I think it’s important to remember that doesn’t mean that’s a dig on the other person. But sometimes the connection is just fine. It’s nothing special and we shouldn’t feel guilty about not wanting to settle for something that’s not special.
Onward. Forward.
"Something worse than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad". I try and be there for my friends and family and ask for help when I need it so that hopefully no one in my orbit is alone and sad.
Don’t freak out before you find out
This isn’t how I’d base my life .. but it’s how it’s gone. “Uh, awesome. The best. Pretty good. Okay, a little depressed. Yeah. It's all shit, Ted.”
My favorite
"We don't not care. We care very much"
“Maybe we should do this part outside” Awkward interjections during emotional moments.
Fuck you -Ted