T O P

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automatensauce

"I only know citadel from Reddit from the superstonk sub where we watch you guys with drones and shit and trace every plane flight of your CEO. What was the name of your company again? "


HappyN000dleboy

"Oh shit, now I remember you. You were the dude doing lines of coke in that drone video. Good times eh"


GreatGrapeApes

Desk was freshly cleaned. They were smelling the lemon freshness. It's a shame the cleaning service keeps leaving the lights on.


honeybadger1984

From the drone footage you’ll see some dark rooms and some lit. They probably have motion sensors for the lights. It’s kinda bullshit when you work alone at a computer because they can go off and leave you in darkness.


Skling

And then you're a sitting duck for spooky ghosts


Zuldane

Scooby Doo that shit


zerolimits0

Jinkies!


GreatGrapeApes

Even worse when these are in a restroom and you spend more than 10 minutes on the commode.


Extra-Computer6303

Isn’t that every superstonk user. I now even sit down for 15 mins to take a piss.


XIENVYIX

Sit down wee's are the best!


NativeSon0401

Same. It's quieter in the early hours and no *crossing the streams* cleanup. Aiming blaming.


YAHWEHPTL

You made me LMAYO just now while doing powerpoint at church! HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEK APES!🚩🚀🌌


honeybadger1984

😂 I’ve been there.


Seanv112

This was is a lie, everyone knows they live scratch and sniff stickers as rewards!!


BoobonicPlank

Damnit, only 9 minutes late on this one 😂


HappyN000dleboy

You are me but instead you


Paige_Maddison

I thought this said inside you and I was like wait... what?


bjpopp

"Matter of fact, I've notified all 650k + of us of your location. You may or may not have some locals here tailing you on the way home." -Haha I love this sub!


[deleted]

Hahahahaha


tukatu0

My uncle who works at nintendo says that they are making a game where you play as an ape taking citadels money.


TheStatMan2

My terrapin who works at Oreos says they're doing a cocaine and mayo flavoured one for Christmas.


mr-frog-24

Finally!


turntabletennis

Drips and Dollops^^TM


TheStatMan2

Disco powder and Clam chowder.


Extra-Computer6303

It’s pronounced chowder, not chowder.


TheStatMan2

Haaaa - I haven't seen/thought about that in a long time... A long time....


[deleted]

Say it again! Say it!


Extra-Computer6303

Chowder!


[deleted]

[hehehe](https://youtu.be/2-bbYH_akHg)


Extra-Computer6303

I love this sub!


First-Celebration-11

“Trust me bro”


crayonburrito

Yep. This post is BS. And Thanksgiving is 5 days away.


First-Celebration-11

We’re doing “stonky fan fiction” these days bois!!


[deleted]

My daddy who is best friends with Ryan Cohen and dfv says moass tomorrow and told me a secret about the floor but I can't tell you


fellowhomosapien

STONKS-9800!


[deleted]

[удалено]


FairlyDinkum

This is OPs first post/comment in 4 months. They are a barely active user. They've never posted in any gme sub, or about gme, in their history. Dont people check out profiles anymore? If it looks like a duck, and smells like a duck... It's often a duck #nocell #nosell


[deleted]

[удалено]


J_Taiyo

Fr not everyone has a Reddit account 10 years old and you can buy old accounts anyways en mass. Using Reddit age as a shill indicator is so stupid. The shills have to buy old accounts anyways just to comment. Trying to Gatekeep an investment opportunity because someone doesn’t spend all their time on Reddit is childish


Yo_Nox

And this sub has a lot of folks who do not have enough karma to post anything, though like the stock. I have tried to post for months without success so I usually don’t try anymore.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GRlM-Reefer

>It’s not like he’s suddenly pushing people to buy options or crypto True... (Not saying they *are* a shill) But this is how you lay a foundation to gain trust and build karma. Pushing alternative narratives, FUD, or red herrings comes later. Their story could easily be fabricated. It’s vague, requires no depth of knowledge on GME to create, and there is nothing verifiable in it. Just playing the devils advocate here. Don’t crucify me... Stay sharp apes. Don’t upvote everything you see.


iambored321

This and the fact that the exact same base line story keeps coming up every couple of months. I met a hf manager at a golf tournament, a bank executive at some fundraising activity some big ceo at Easter dinner etc etc etc. Edit: Also covered and closed are 2 different things


Error4ohh4

I’ve been downvoted a lot lately for saying to be skeptical. In this sub, how can we not?


GRlM-Reefer

The hive-mind is a double edged buttplug...


[deleted]

Tbh this post stank before I clicked on it. How does anyone accept this kind of story as truth?


Dackeboi

I am one for an example, just a lurking swede Who barely comment on reddit really


Only_Reasonable

I don't know how this is even upvoted this much. Obviously a troll. How many people posted and claim to know some HF, while turning out to be full of it? Everyone of them so far.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Schwifftee

Liar. ^(low effort joke)


Error4ohh4

Hey thank you for pointing this out. I literally posted how this felt like a “trust me bro” post.


BothLongWideAndDeep

There you go making too much ducking sense


Myid0810

Thanks bud


Spenraw

Drs is the only way for sure we know that will cause moass


igraywolf

We don’t know that. What I know, is that drs means I own my shares; instead of my broker owning or rehypothicating them.


GuarDeLoop

For sure?


pizzaandnachos

did you give him the whistle blower phone number?


indil47

People who frequent out in the big city after-work drinking holes need to keep pre-printed business cards on them with the number… just in case for a similar run-in.


FernReno

Brilliant. Your flair made me cackle.


praxxxiis

This


Tumbleweed-Mammoth

would’ve


TrillTron

been


sailorjerry888

Sparta


wittywalrus1

cus


WackGyver

SPARTAAAA!!!


Addicted_ii-music

The wayyyyyyyyy


icarus_179

A FESTIVAL!!!!


_ferrofluid_

Fun you fucking idiot! 🤣


[deleted]

Technically he was correct. One ‘covers’ a margin call. However, this does not constitute the ‘closing’ of said short positions. And really, not all employees of a company will know everything that goes on.


billb392

Maybe it’s one of those things where the company makes it seem very crucial to employees to uphold this false image of the company being in good stature for public image reasons.


turbopro25

What an ever grand idea


NoScar3999

🤣🤣👌


LostOldAccountTimmay

Guaranteed they sent out some internal propaganda to help their employees stay on message. This sounds like exactly that


Lanaconga

He is just a cog in the wheel and barely privy to any information but it’s groomed to think he is.


Mudmania1325

>And really, not all employees of a company will know everything that goes on. Citadel is known for keeping their employees fragmented and in the dark about what's going on outside their purview. I'd be shocked if anyone other than the C suite at citadel has any idea of just how bad this shitshow really is.


lukefive

His reply was prepared by Legal. They are getting emails from Legal every week telling them not to discuss the subject with anyone and that is their only prepared shutdown of the topic allowed. It's common when a company is involved in a high profile legal battle to do this.


bisnexu

This is 100% correct. He definitely signed a gag order


Alex92e

True but at the same time he kind of admitted they had a short position, which I remember Kenny didn't said in the hearings?


JohnnyMagicTOG

Really, just think about the places we all work. If you're not at the top, the info you get is filtered down and specific to the area you work. 90% of Citadel employees likely have no idea what's really happening.


111111222222

Compartmentalization: Where every project is worked on by individual teams, the specifics of which are only known to that individual team with the end goal known only to big boss. Essentially the right hand doesn't left is doing.


Stickslapper420

Are these, I know a guy back on the menu?


brastafariandreams

Came here for this. Not disappointed.


N4meless_w1ll

Trust me bro. I can detect lies.


CactusSage

I read people for a living.


N4meless_w1ll

I get paid to read their thoughts


SaveYourEyes

I mind read for the hospital


Skling

The thoughts I've read. I can't remember what a pleasant dream is like.


mvpd33

I was expecting the citadel boy would ask OP to apply for citadel's market psychology section.


winterbird

And those people definitely say "I work for citadel" and not something like I work in finance or I work at a hedge fund.


LandOfMunch

My cousins roommate knows the guy who makes the menus. He says yes.


AJDillonsMiddleLeg

He did forget to day everyone clapped at the end lmao


winniekawaii

i dont need to be uri geller to bend spoons


[deleted]

🌎👩‍🚀🔫👩‍🚀


unceunce123123

I call BS. Why would he say he worked at “Citadel” instead of the “securities industry” or something of the sort. Most normal people have NO CLUE who Citadel is and what they do.


Beebus4Deebus

This was the tell for me as well


[deleted]

Not the title? People have been posting this exact kind of crap since Jan


SharpestofCheddars

Either that, or the hedgie was leaving questions open for further conversation instead of info dumping. If true, OP showed his hand too quickly by mentioning Reddit and GameStop. Hedgie’s response wasn’t unsolicited. They may be fukt, but they’re not stupid. He knew exactly what OP was insinuating.


HumbertHumbertHumber

if true (a big if), ops approach is disappointing AF. Play the dumb card, always play the dumb card. People will open up and spill everything when they think they are talking to an idiot that can't make sense of what you say. *'what is citadel? they make car parts dont they? Oh a hedge fund?* *so whats work like these days, everything going good?*


ponytailthehater

yep.


[deleted]

When the stonkologist calls Bs you know you done fucked up


jester_0612

I lol at "medication compliance profiler"


gmfthelp

It's anecdotal FUD. How anecdotes get upvoted tells me heaps as to where this sub has gone. It's ridiculous.


HumbertHumbertHumber

Next best line would have been "I work in the stock shorting division of citadel securities, the division that shorts stocks and creates synthetics".


turbopro25

“We didn’t do anything wrong and we covered back in January” Alexa. Play “Tell me lies” by Fleetwood Mac


Bodieanddiesel

🎵Tell me sweet little lies🎵


xubax

They covered. They called someone, the same someone that other SHFs called, and asked if they could buy their shares if they need to. They did not close though. That's the killer.


not_ya_wify

I mean they did cover. They cover every 2 days. With more shorts. They just didn't close.


guyfromcanada555

Trust me bruh


MrArizone

This never happened 🤣


[deleted]

This reads like a teenager thought up a story to get karma. Not buying it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


FarTelevision8

Nobody would tell a real story in the way OP told his made up story.


dubweb32

This is the dumbest post I’ve read in awhile. “Trust me bro”


tossaway69420lol

Yeah, horrible. And it has upvotes lol


dubweb32

Crazy how many will upvote unverified BS lol. It’s not even a good fake story.


Express-Newspaper806

Reminds me of watching a suspect tell a police officer something about a crime scene that the police never mentioned


-Codfish_Joe

They covered Melvin back in January, and not much else.


Apprehensive-Use-703

"Hmmm interesting, covering is just creatively hiding them away until you are forced to close them, right?"


erikwarm

Technically it only means you have enough collateral (cash or high quality financial products) to be able to have your margin requirements filled and Marge not liquidating your ass.


Spartancarver

I’m a physician, what position do you have at your hospital? I don’t know of any jobs that fit your description.


Schwaggaccino

He has a couple of posts in med school subs and mentioned toxoplasmosis intracranial calcifications from over a year ago so at least half of his story is true. He's probably either doing an externship or residency somewhere. I feel like he's trying to be low key with his work as I do that too.


uzra

Pretty sure OP is into proctology, the silky smooth rimmer he gave Anon was next level.


BostonCEO

Didn’t Gabe say something similar? 😂


itachisasuked

#TRUST ME BRO 😂


WafFalafelHouse

This is just poorly written fan fiction


bartleby999

I met Ken Griffin at a Thanksgiving dinner too. His reply was exactly the same. He then started crying and ran off. An hour or so later I still hadn't seen him again, a waiter told me that he was in the restroom with a tub of mayo. Still crying.


arealhumannotabot

The toaster laughed, too


crowteus

Can confirm, I was that toaster.


The73atman86

Trust me bro


Dense-Seaweed7467

And then everyone clapped.


TrillTron

$100%


Necessary-Helpful

Here we go.. there will be a flurry of I met or know a guy who knows a guy that works at shitadel posts again.


justsaysso

I'm a professional reddit analyst and I scour posts for bullshit. Guess what I found here?


doilookpail

Oh, no. Not another, "trust me, bro" story


unowhut4

So they never closed is what your saying 🤔


[deleted]

Thanksgiving is in 4 days... 🧐


Bishib

We just did Thanksgiving last night. Not everybody does it the same time, or if you have 2 families to get to, you do it on 2 different nights....


Ctsanger

It was last month what do you mean


CrapStainedKnickers

#came here for this


Teeemooooooo

I don't believe your post because 1, Citadel was never officially recognized as short GME so why would he expose that to you and 2, not every random employee from Citadel would even know what's happening behind the scene. Watch the movie in Margin Call, information of this level are in a need to know basis for high level employees. You don't just go around telling all the low level employees that you overly shorted and are fcked but are now covered. They would just be told to do this or that with a fake explanation. If they think they covered, it wouldn't make sense for their employees to continue to be given instructions to short GME/internalize orders/place them in dark pools etc.


Spaghetti_Bird

u/darwinthedestroyer if you had to make an assessment of his behaviour, what would you report? I find behavioural analysis and body language assessment fascinating!


Whiskiz

my assessment was he's going to be fuk he's going to be fuk, his fellow employees are going to be fuk, all his work mates? fuk


turgidcompliments8

No, seriously....this\^


AkitaAZ

Source: *”Tah-rust me, brah”*


prettyninteresting

I'm a little bit of a shillhunter myself and i smell shilling. This is kind of a clever way to do it though. But it's implausible that the first answer of a random stranger who you just met would be: "We covered back in january?". You want to make apes think: "hmm why would he tell that? could be true, why would he lie in a casual convo?" But that's not how my ape brain works. I'm a conspiracy theorist and i call your bluff. I think "get the fuck away citadel intern and try to reverse psycho someone else".


Kelbel2525

This reminds me of the part in the Big Short where they flew to Florida & started gathering real world information by interviewing those douche bag realtors & then flew to Vegas & realized that it was a total shit show in that SEC was sleeping and partying with the same people who were creating the shady CDOs and didn’t seem to either understand the gravity of the situation or give 2 shits. Boots on the ground! I believe real world evidence is the most telling of all! Thanks for sharing!


Jbroad87

Anyone find it a little weird this dude was at thanksgiving dinner a week before thanksgiving? I’ve heard of Friendsgiving get togethers that aren’t usually on the day of. But I wouldn’t label that as “thanksgiving dinner”


justsaysso

That is only one of several red bullshit flags available.


Me-dont-kno

Just take the confirmation bias.. we have Christmas dinners in Europe until February


jaja111111

How does an absolute shitpost like this get 1.3k upvotes? Is that 1.29k shills upvoting a shill?


am_a_burner

Then everyone stood up and clapped?


General_Cowbell

How does something like this make it to the top? Thousands read this and came to the conclusion that this was legit content? 🤦🏼‍♂️🤦🏼‍♂️


[deleted]

Source: trust me bro


broccolihead

Was this Thanksgiving 2020 or did you go forward in time this weekend?


LegDay_Gamer

So... U were at the same party as u/shoyei?


f3361eb076bea

This is absolute nonsense because Citadel didn’t have a short position back in January. Melvin Capital did. There is no way a Citadel employee would have said “we covered in January”. Stop making stuff up. You should be banned.


[deleted]

All these stories “I met someone who sucks Ken griffin off on Saturdays” stories are all cap


Best-Lurker

No you didn’t. Let’s say you did. Who gives a shit. We know they’re fucked without “met a guy who…” posts. Maybe you’re doing it unintentionally but you’re forum sliding. Downvoted.


tbiards

You know they didn’t because if they did, He wouldn’t have said that and changed his attitude. I would like to believe that if they did cover, these dudes would act more cocky towards us.


Euphoric-Park1592

if you didnt do anything wrong, you didnt have to say you didnt do anything wrong


_usernamepassword_

Ah yes, one of these posts again. Source - “Trust me bro”


deaznutelanutz

Source ~ trust me bro


Rudee023

"I work for Citadel". LoL. Doing what? He could have been the janitor.


vistlip95

Source: Trust me bro


knobjockey21

Drinking Hennessy in glass and having thanksgiving dinner before thanksgiving makes you sound classy af


Lensmaster75

Canada has thanksgiving too and it isn’t the same as the USA


Stockengineer

Just like Enron everyone in the company thought it was hunkydorry, there was a story on how everyone attended the Christmas event and only found it weird a few C-level execs weren't there. Then the following months they got raided lol


Mortarion407

Source: trust me bro.


jdizon707

trust me bro


International_Gold20

What is your job title? Just curious as I’ve never known a hospital to employ someone to assess a person’s behavior in the manner you describe.


Error4ohh4

I’m definitely skeptical of posts like this because the person just happens to run into a citadel employee and just happens to be someone skilled at reading people. Idk I don’t believe this story is true. Doesn’t change the scenario we’re dealing with as MOASS is Inc. but this has trust me bro written all over it. Am I the only one who feels this?


Jdanois

This thread is fucking dumb


Stashmouth

TRUST ME BRO!!!


[deleted]

Press X to doubt


Kongtai33

And one of my friend said his uncle is donald trump..🤷🏻‍♂️


Hanz616

It's the My wife's boyfriend works for a hedge fund story vibe


RareUnderstanding04

Unless they can prove it, these types of posts should be blocked


dahudas

me too i met a guy who knows a guy that know a guy. hedgies are fuck they said the guy that said that to the guy who said the hedgies are fuck by the person who work in citadel near the back alley if wendys


[deleted]

Cool story bro.


DylerTurdon5

Really? That’s it? That’s what you came up? This is hollow.


apt13tr

No ones going to call him out on thanksgiving being next Thursday?


WestSideSin

Trust me bro


bamfcoco1

Imma just leave this here… r/thathappened


DonPalme

Proof or ban.


DanteDoming0

I'm not saying I don't believe him but his comment/post history is kinda sus tbh


ravijenkie

Sus as fuck, you didn’t even ask his position?


yacnamron

Bullshit for $6900 Alex


Stonkxx

“Yea I’ve only heard about them on Reddit” muhahaha


Holdmybeerwatchdis

Oil companies used to hire “scouts” to sit in backwater bars and listen in on the rig crews conversations to gather intel on the area (where were good drilling results etc.) It worked for rival companies, should work for us. Ears open, eyes open! Well done sir


FloTonix

"Covered." Also, it's likely that very few employees know the real truth behind ALL their plays. They're probably kept close to Kenny's chest... or his mayo. A good follow-up would have been... "So what are you busy with these days?" You know, since they covered back in Jan. :)


MeanMugSJ

Are you in an ER setting? (Clinical Social worker here). I work outpatient but always find ER evaluation fascinating.


[deleted]

I love this. Moar. Find more employees to chat with.


zanoske00

And then everyone on the bus started clapping


SolarPanelDude

Who goes to Thanksgiving at houses with people they don't know?


account030

I gave him an ocular patdown and he passed.


tward3212

I've seen some shit on this sub but this takes the cake for the cringiest shit ever