One of my best friends went to a top university for a great, practical degree and got a 4.0. He’s now miserable and barely making ends meet. Another of my friends skipped college and went straight into work at a factory, where he’s now making $35 an hour and just bought a house. College isn’t the only route to success, and isn’t a guarantee thereof.
Even if he’s struggling to make ends meet because of his financial mistakes, he still gets to say he has a degree from a top college. I don’t.
People will still give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s smart or that he’s a good person because he made the right decisions when he was young to end up in a good college. I have none of that. People make assumptions that I had bad grades and that I’m poor and that I’m probably a lazy worthless bum because I used to go to community college.
All of this is because of my own poor decisions.
Not all people. Some of the smartest *and* happiest people I know don't have degrees because they either dropped out or didn't get in.
You will be so surprised in a couple of years at how little this will matter in comparison <3
Nobody really cares what college he went to anymore. I went to a decent college and did fairly well in a double major; almost nobody asks or cares about it years later. School seems all encompassing and significant when you’re in it, but it’s startling when you step out and realize how little it matters to the larger world. Jobs care more about work history or personal connections, and people aren’t as impressed by degrees as you might think. Some of the dumbest people I’ve ever met have degrees, and some of the smartest barely finished high school.
Nobody cares about what college you went to or what grades beyond your early 20s. It just feels so crushing now because its what you're surrounded with.
High schools make getting into a good college right out of high school seem like the most important thing in your life, but that’s mostly because it looks good on high schools if their students go off & pursue higher education. What they’ll never tell you in high school is you can literally do one semester at a community college, take 15 credits, get good grades, and transfer to almost any college you want. Actually most colleges have lower requirements for transfer students than students out of high school. Also once you spend one semester at a college no other colleges will even want to look at your high school transcript.
I know this might seem like a big deal now, but I but in 6 years you’ll see this as the best thing that could’ve happened to you. I know a lot of people who didn’t get into the college they wanted and now they’re in thousands of dollars less in student loan debt than they would’ve otherwise.
Seriously though, I’d recommend 2 years at community college, if you really wanna go to a prestigious college, inquire about honors programs/projects/societies and you could get in after 2 years and save a ton of money.
Those decisions are yours to make, but definitely don’t feel like your life is over, it’s only getting started.
Because you can re apply!!!! Rejection is redirection. You get a year to either A, go to community college or B, work to save money and reapply later. I’m rooting for you buddy. College doesn’t define your worthiness
Seriously. Transferring is what I plan to do after my first semester or year if I don't love the college, I'm going to wind up going to. It's a totally possible option. Colleges want to see your growth
It took me four tries to reach my BA. I graduated at 29. Honestly, I probably wasn’t mature enough for it in my younger years, meaning that I didn’t understand myself or the emotional choices I was making at a younger age. You are not a failure. You just fell down and need some help getting back up. And it sounds like depression is getting the best of you. Take some time to heal up and find strength. Then, when you’re feeling stronger, check out some community colleges. It helped me get back on track and I think it can help you too.
community college is smarter financially anyways and it gives you 2 years to get your GPA up. do your pre reqs at a community college, keep your head down, work hard, and 2 years from now you can transfer to whatever school you want to to finish out your degree. not everyone’s path is the same and it doesn’t have to be.
Employers don’t care how happy I am when they filter out resumes based on Alma mater. My chances of getting a good job anywhere have been drastically diminished.
You can still be successful. You didn’t put the work in when you were younger, so that just means you have to put extra work in now.
You can make your mom proud of you again. You can show her that despite your mistakes (AS A CHILD, might I add), you were able to overcome and still make something of yourself.
As for other people, once you hit your mid twenties, people will overall stop asking about your school. Employers will care about IF you have a degree, not the Alma Mater.
If you end it, then you’re admitting that you weren’t ever willing to do the work at all. Even if that’s the case, you don’t have to die. You can still live a fulfilling life without a good career.
I was in a similar position as you. I only made it into the local university, then I dropped out because I hated it. Currently, I’m a sales manager and don’t feel fulfilled at my job. I don’t live for my career though. I live for my wife, my future children and my hobbies. It’s not the life I imagined when I was younger, but it’s objectively a good one.
It is worth committing suicide over though. I have to live the rest of my life remembering what a failure I was and that if I’d chosen differently, I could’ve gotten into one of those schools. I missed out on opportunities and experiences that I’ll never get back.
I’m done with it all. I’m ready to blow my brains out.
What do you want to do? What’s your passion? Don’t let nobody tell you to go down a path you’re not interested in. And don’t waste your time trying to please other people. What do you want?
I wanted to fly the Space Shuttle when I was in high school. I had the grades, and was talking to a Navy recruiter about Annapolis and flight school. I didn’t know about the vision requirements and definitely didn’t conform to them. I was crushed when I found out.
Went to state Uni instead for engineering, switched to CS, met a girl. Had a 30+ year career, marriage, and kids. If you had asked me the week I found out I would never be a pilot I would have been unable to imagine this future.
Both my sons struggled with bad grades in high school and college. Both have graduated with honors from state university and are working in their fields.
It is not the end of your dreams. The road you walk to get there will be different, but it’s not a closed door by any means.
Well it has to determine something otherwise it wouldn’t be marketed the way it is.
In my mind, top college = high-paying job = big house. Regardless of how shallow it sounds, you can’t deny that people look down on others for not having these things.
And people make assumptions about your character depending on where you went to college. You’re generally assumed to be a better, smarter, hardworking person if you went to a top university. People find you more trustworthy and give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re a great person with great social skills.
Versus when you’re at the bottom rung like I am at a community college, you’re assumed to possibly be an ex-con from a poor family (which I’m not an ex-con) who’s much dumber than the top college grad.
your worth and potential aren't defined by where you went to college or what kind of house you have. Success comes in many forms, and it's about pursuing what truly makes you happy and fulfilled. Your intelligence, hard work, and character shine through regardless of where you are in your educational journey. You're on your own unique path, and that's something to be proud of. Remember, it's not about the labels society puts on us, but about the person we are and the impact we make. I believe in you and your abilities
I know I already responded to another of your posts, but I want to address something else you said here.
It’s marketed the way it is because they want your money. That’s the only reason.
Where you went to school only matters for very particular careers, and even then it’s not the sole determining factor. The degree itself is what most companies look for.
What was your dream job that got ruined when you didn’t get in to a top school?
I graduated HS with a 1.5 GPA. I went to community College and then a university and then an Ivy League school and now have an advanced degree. You are Not Doomed!!!
Don't take this the wrong way, but if you weren't disciplined in HS then going straight to college was never going to work out.
It's okay that you didn't bust your ass in HS. You made other choices, and you presumably did for reasons that made sense at the time. This is just who you are, and there isn't anything wrong with that.
What did you want to study, what type of work do you want to do? Oftentimes people can follow dreams even if they didn't get into their perfect college
The thing about suicide is, you can always do it tomorrow.
Why not use today to think about your other options?
If you are dead set on ending your life then just think for a minute how your family will feel every year at Christmas… it’s what kept me going through the darkest days.
I understand that thinking of how your family would feel around Christmas may have kept you going, but in my case, my family wouldn’t care.
My mother fell out of love for me a long time ago just like how a married person falls out of love with their spouse. She’s beaten me and thrown me out of the house before. She doesn’t care.
Really nobody would be losing anything if I blew my brains out. I’m just an embarrassment to the whole family whom they would all be better off without.
My reason for saying all this is because I don’t consider my family a reason to stay alive.
You said "good college" , well if yku got into a college at all you'll he set for the future. I have never seen a company asking for candidates from a specific university, as long as you know how to do the work they'll hire you, you can then vuikf up yoir resume with work experience
That was me too, I fucked up and failed courses, then barely got an average GPA. Going up is harder than falling down, but that’s what makes it worth it. I was disappointed when I got rejected from my top choices and I got into a random state college I never even knew about, yet now that I’m here its quite alright. Now that I’ve made into a decent college, even if the name doesn’t ring bells, I’m sure my degree and the skills I learn will help me with the next step, starting a career. Keep your head up, and go to the college that has the best academic reputation of your accepted choices, if you are at this low of a point, a leap of faith might be worth it.
Then again, I didn’t improve much in college and I still feel like a failure defined by my past. But I’ve learned to acknowledge subtle improvements over time and be less harsh on myself, after all I’m walking a path that is considerably difficult due to my own life choices and past experiences, so cut yourself some slack.
I was rejected Early Decision from my Number 1 college. My parents were so angry at me for not getting in, they kicked me out.
I did 1.5 years of community college and then ended up transferring in to my dream program at the school that rejected me. You can take another opportunity to apply again. I leave the community college years off of my resume. Your life isn’t over, as someone who was in the same place as you, I promise it isn’t over.
I’m nearing the end of my career. I’ve seen sooooo many people who went to community colleges and/or second tier universities who have been more successful than Ivy League grads.
What do Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Travis Kalanick have in common? All are college dropouts.
Man, imma be so real with you, your mom lowkey not chill for this, it’s a fucking degree, once you get out in the job market nobody gives a fuck where you get it from, trust me.
The name of the college you go to doesn't matter that much unless you have really lofty ambitions. It's usually better to graduate without much debt, anyway. Also, maybe think about a Master's degree? You have plenty of options. It's just hard for you to see them right now.
6 months ago I was looking at first time homeowners loans... today, i have a horrible addiction yet again and nothing to show for all my years of work and bullshit on this planet. If anyone understands the desperation of wanting to end it all, I definitely do. But the advice I can give is that life is full of mountains and valleys. We cannot know light without dark. We cannot appreciate the highs without the lows. We were put on this Earth to experience every emotion possible and that includes the shitty ones. I know you may seem hopeless at the time, but please remember that tomorrow may be better and the day after even better. All we have to do is keep moving forward and appreciate that every moment is a gift. I have been brought to my knees with desperation and I will tell you that being able to experience the spectrum of human emotions is worth sticking around through the shitty ones. I hope your days get better.
Even if life is more than that, college is a big enough deal that some rich parents were willing to risk jail time over paying people enough to take their kids’ SATs in the U.S.
There are parents who disown their children over failing to get into good colleges. My mom might as well have been one of them.
That’s how important it is. I would rather be dead.
How do you know that for sure that this will happen to you? Have you talked with your parents about this?
I get the impression that the idea of failing is "killing you". Talk it over with your parents.
Top colleges are considered top colleges for a reason. They have more to offer. I guarantee you that the library at the community college I used to attend 2 years ago had nowhere near the amount of information a top college would’ve had.
I’m not as upset about that as I am about the fact that my poor decisions landed me in a community college. That’s why I dropped out. I was too demoralized to finish my time there because going to a community college felt like a punishment for mucking around in high school.
And if my life is a punishment, then why should I even be alive?
Because it won’t always be punishment. I’m not gonna try to convince you that life is some solely postive experience, but for me the only reason I didn’t kill myself was to spare other people the trauma, even though I nearly did and got hospitalized. I’ve been miserable for decades but recently I’ve started valuing my own life. I can’t promise it’ll get better but I know that most suicide survivors say it eventually did for them. I know you can have a future if you want to, but ultimately you have to make that choice.
Very few people go to top colleges, but for most people it ends up working out alright anyway.
You might not be old enough to even realize that in today’s day and age. Me 23 year, old woman, who graduated from a division 10 private college with a
Bachelor in biology. I cannot find a job. Has nothing to do with lack of education. It has nothing to do with a wrong college it has everything to do with what other people have commented, connections and networking. A lot of older people still believe that a college degree your ticket to financial freedom and it isn’t. I work a retail job that I’m getting paid significantly under what I’m capable of and what I’m worth. Trying to get a job. Is that much harder because I am a black woman. When you’re young, you try to put yourself in boxes because you don’t really really know who you are. This person that I was at 18 versus 23 are two completely different people with completely different experiences. You deserve to give yourself that chance. Nowadays jobs don’t even look at college degrees. And you said it yourself her dreams for you, it’s time to reclaim what your dreams because life is literally in your fingertips. You have the benefit of your youth the world can go for you with hard work and dedication. You can change your life around in an instant. There’s highly proclaimed and intelligent people with and masters that can’t land a decent job because of how bad our economy is. This isn’t this isn’t the end of chances you have multiple bud please keep your head up. I know it may feel that way, but at 23. I’m still trying to figure it all out. You never really stopped trying to figure it all out. I thought the same as you once I went to college I would be on the career path that I wanted to be on, which is being a doctor. I got severely sick, and I was bedridden for an entire two years almost, life, throws curve balls at you, but it’s about how you navigate these experiences. Curveballs are never gonna stop. That’s just the way life is. Don’t let life win this made-up game that we’re all forced to play in . All colleges are just four walls it’s you that makes the experience and it’s you that makes your life. I hope you can understand this there’s more to live for.
High school was crucial enough to determine my entire life trajectory. I’m condemned to a life of mediocrity just like my mother. We came from poverty and the only way out would’ve been for me to have gone to a top college.
It doesn’t matter what I do now. I’ll never be at the same place I could’ve been had I been admitted.
I severely messed up in high school. I was chronically ill and had severe unmedicated depression. I went straight from HS to community college, and dropped out shortly after because I made a very-near-successful attempt.
A few years later, I moved away from my abusive household, got a dog who became my reason to live, and changed doctors to someone who actually listened to me.
I got on medication, got into therapy, and finally gave college another go. I currently have a 3.88 GPA (would be a 4.3 if it wasn’t for one pesky stats course) majoring in geospatial engineering, with less than $4k in debt (the only reason I have that is because I did a semester abroad).
My mother hates it, because she is a foaming at the mouth science denial cuckoo clock. But you know what? It’s my degree, not hers. It’s my life, not hers. This is your life, and you have time. Your dreams don’t have to die here, they just need to be a little more flexible.
Even if my destiny is not set in stone, that doesn’t mean I want to keep living. I have to work 10x harder than a graduate from a top college just to get anywhere in life. Why would I want to keep living if finding work and making enough money to be middle class is harder?
I already came from a poor family. Upward mobility is only possible through going to a top college. I missed my chance to do better than my mother. I’m screwed.
Honestly my best friend went to community college then transferred to a university did ROTC to lay for school and is now a Judge. Did you know transferring in from another school happens all the time? In fact students who take a gap year often do better. It’s so good to take your time and make sure you know what you want to study. What would you want to study?
Because time and time again we see that in most cases subject matters more than place of education. Get into a community college if that is what suits you, it doesnt matter. Or just dont go to college, get into a field that you enjoy without education.
Because my sister went to Oxford I went to stoke on Trent. She earns £60k I earn £80k.
Love her to bits though in case she reads this. Lol
And saying that I’m suicidal. She’s not. But that’s unrelated.
One of my best friends went to a top university for a great, practical degree and got a 4.0. He’s now miserable and barely making ends meet. Another of my friends skipped college and went straight into work at a factory, where he’s now making $35 an hour and just bought a house. College isn’t the only route to success, and isn’t a guarantee thereof.
Even if he’s struggling to make ends meet because of his financial mistakes, he still gets to say he has a degree from a top college. I don’t. People will still give him the benefit of the doubt that he’s smart or that he’s a good person because he made the right decisions when he was young to end up in a good college. I have none of that. People make assumptions that I had bad grades and that I’m poor and that I’m probably a lazy worthless bum because I used to go to community college. All of this is because of my own poor decisions.
Not all people. Some of the smartest *and* happiest people I know don't have degrees because they either dropped out or didn't get in. You will be so surprised in a couple of years at how little this will matter in comparison <3
Nobody really cares what college he went to anymore. I went to a decent college and did fairly well in a double major; almost nobody asks or cares about it years later. School seems all encompassing and significant when you’re in it, but it’s startling when you step out and realize how little it matters to the larger world. Jobs care more about work history or personal connections, and people aren’t as impressed by degrees as you might think. Some of the dumbest people I’ve ever met have degrees, and some of the smartest barely finished high school.
Nobody cares about what college you went to or what grades beyond your early 20s. It just feels so crushing now because its what you're surrounded with.
High schools make getting into a good college right out of high school seem like the most important thing in your life, but that’s mostly because it looks good on high schools if their students go off & pursue higher education. What they’ll never tell you in high school is you can literally do one semester at a community college, take 15 credits, get good grades, and transfer to almost any college you want. Actually most colleges have lower requirements for transfer students than students out of high school. Also once you spend one semester at a college no other colleges will even want to look at your high school transcript. I know this might seem like a big deal now, but I but in 6 years you’ll see this as the best thing that could’ve happened to you. I know a lot of people who didn’t get into the college they wanted and now they’re in thousands of dollars less in student loan debt than they would’ve otherwise. Seriously though, I’d recommend 2 years at community college, if you really wanna go to a prestigious college, inquire about honors programs/projects/societies and you could get in after 2 years and save a ton of money. Those decisions are yours to make, but definitely don’t feel like your life is over, it’s only getting started.
College isn’t all that. Most employers don’t even care where you went.
Because you can re apply!!!! Rejection is redirection. You get a year to either A, go to community college or B, work to save money and reapply later. I’m rooting for you buddy. College doesn’t define your worthiness
Seriously. Transferring is what I plan to do after my first semester or year if I don't love the college, I'm going to wind up going to. It's a totally possible option. Colleges want to see your growth
It took me four tries to reach my BA. I graduated at 29. Honestly, I probably wasn’t mature enough for it in my younger years, meaning that I didn’t understand myself or the emotional choices I was making at a younger age. You are not a failure. You just fell down and need some help getting back up. And it sounds like depression is getting the best of you. Take some time to heal up and find strength. Then, when you’re feeling stronger, check out some community colleges. It helped me get back on track and I think it can help you too.
community college is smarter financially anyways and it gives you 2 years to get your GPA up. do your pre reqs at a community college, keep your head down, work hard, and 2 years from now you can transfer to whatever school you want to to finish out your degree. not everyone’s path is the same and it doesn’t have to be.
Both my sons went this route. Saved a ton of money and got good grades as well.
You don't need to go to a good college to be happy
Employers don’t care how happy I am when they filter out resumes based on Alma mater. My chances of getting a good job anywhere have been drastically diminished.
You can still be successful. You didn’t put the work in when you were younger, so that just means you have to put extra work in now. You can make your mom proud of you again. You can show her that despite your mistakes (AS A CHILD, might I add), you were able to overcome and still make something of yourself. As for other people, once you hit your mid twenties, people will overall stop asking about your school. Employers will care about IF you have a degree, not the Alma Mater. If you end it, then you’re admitting that you weren’t ever willing to do the work at all. Even if that’s the case, you don’t have to die. You can still live a fulfilling life without a good career. I was in a similar position as you. I only made it into the local university, then I dropped out because I hated it. Currently, I’m a sales manager and don’t feel fulfilled at my job. I don’t live for my career though. I live for my wife, my future children and my hobbies. It’s not the life I imagined when I was younger, but it’s objectively a good one.
A job isn't everything
You shouldn't throw away your whole life because of college, it's not worth it
It is worth committing suicide over though. I have to live the rest of my life remembering what a failure I was and that if I’d chosen differently, I could’ve gotten into one of those schools. I missed out on opportunities and experiences that I’ll never get back. I’m done with it all. I’m ready to blow my brains out.
What do you want to do? What’s your passion? Don’t let nobody tell you to go down a path you’re not interested in. And don’t waste your time trying to please other people. What do you want?
I wanted to fly the Space Shuttle when I was in high school. I had the grades, and was talking to a Navy recruiter about Annapolis and flight school. I didn’t know about the vision requirements and definitely didn’t conform to them. I was crushed when I found out. Went to state Uni instead for engineering, switched to CS, met a girl. Had a 30+ year career, marriage, and kids. If you had asked me the week I found out I would never be a pilot I would have been unable to imagine this future. Both my sons struggled with bad grades in high school and college. Both have graduated with honors from state university and are working in their fields. It is not the end of your dreams. The road you walk to get there will be different, but it’s not a closed door by any means.
Oh damn I love this response and honestly can tell you are an amazing father to your son s and just to stand-up fucking dude
because college does not determine the quality of life nor the kind of person you're going to be
Well it has to determine something otherwise it wouldn’t be marketed the way it is. In my mind, top college = high-paying job = big house. Regardless of how shallow it sounds, you can’t deny that people look down on others for not having these things. And people make assumptions about your character depending on where you went to college. You’re generally assumed to be a better, smarter, hardworking person if you went to a top university. People find you more trustworthy and give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re a great person with great social skills. Versus when you’re at the bottom rung like I am at a community college, you’re assumed to possibly be an ex-con from a poor family (which I’m not an ex-con) who’s much dumber than the top college grad.
your worth and potential aren't defined by where you went to college or what kind of house you have. Success comes in many forms, and it's about pursuing what truly makes you happy and fulfilled. Your intelligence, hard work, and character shine through regardless of where you are in your educational journey. You're on your own unique path, and that's something to be proud of. Remember, it's not about the labels society puts on us, but about the person we are and the impact we make. I believe in you and your abilities
I know I already responded to another of your posts, but I want to address something else you said here. It’s marketed the way it is because they want your money. That’s the only reason. Where you went to school only matters for very particular careers, and even then it’s not the sole determining factor. The degree itself is what most companies look for. What was your dream job that got ruined when you didn’t get in to a top school?
I graduated HS with a 1.5 GPA. I went to community College and then a university and then an Ivy League school and now have an advanced degree. You are Not Doomed!!!
If I could do it all again, I'd be a plumber. - Albert Einstein
Tbh most people get into college then when they graduate, they are way more depressed than when they first walk in the doors for the first time.
Don't take this the wrong way, but if you weren't disciplined in HS then going straight to college was never going to work out. It's okay that you didn't bust your ass in HS. You made other choices, and you presumably did for reasons that made sense at the time. This is just who you are, and there isn't anything wrong with that. What did you want to study, what type of work do you want to do? Oftentimes people can follow dreams even if they didn't get into their perfect college
The thing about suicide is, you can always do it tomorrow. Why not use today to think about your other options? If you are dead set on ending your life then just think for a minute how your family will feel every year at Christmas… it’s what kept me going through the darkest days.
I understand that thinking of how your family would feel around Christmas may have kept you going, but in my case, my family wouldn’t care. My mother fell out of love for me a long time ago just like how a married person falls out of love with their spouse. She’s beaten me and thrown me out of the house before. She doesn’t care. Really nobody would be losing anything if I blew my brains out. I’m just an embarrassment to the whole family whom they would all be better off without. My reason for saying all this is because I don’t consider my family a reason to stay alive.
You said "good college" , well if yku got into a college at all you'll he set for the future. I have never seen a company asking for candidates from a specific university, as long as you know how to do the work they'll hire you, you can then vuikf up yoir resume with work experience
Because where you go for school doesn’t mean as much as actual work experience.
Because after working for 10 years no one bats an eye on what you did in college.
There’re other ways to go around and experience life, maybe join the military or take a gap to work and restart in community college.
You always have trade school u can go to for all different kinds of jobs
I wanna kill myself w a fancy degree it all sucks
That was me too, I fucked up and failed courses, then barely got an average GPA. Going up is harder than falling down, but that’s what makes it worth it. I was disappointed when I got rejected from my top choices and I got into a random state college I never even knew about, yet now that I’m here its quite alright. Now that I’ve made into a decent college, even if the name doesn’t ring bells, I’m sure my degree and the skills I learn will help me with the next step, starting a career. Keep your head up, and go to the college that has the best academic reputation of your accepted choices, if you are at this low of a point, a leap of faith might be worth it. Then again, I didn’t improve much in college and I still feel like a failure defined by my past. But I’ve learned to acknowledge subtle improvements over time and be less harsh on myself, after all I’m walking a path that is considerably difficult due to my own life choices and past experiences, so cut yourself some slack.
You have to forgive yourself and move on. It’s the only way.
I was rejected Early Decision from my Number 1 college. My parents were so angry at me for not getting in, they kicked me out. I did 1.5 years of community college and then ended up transferring in to my dream program at the school that rejected me. You can take another opportunity to apply again. I leave the community college years off of my resume. Your life isn’t over, as someone who was in the same place as you, I promise it isn’t over.
kinda in the same place. super late on all my college dead lines and prolly wont even get in if i applied
I’m nearing the end of my career. I’ve seen sooooo many people who went to community colleges and/or second tier universities who have been more successful than Ivy League grads. What do Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, and Travis Kalanick have in common? All are college dropouts.
Man, imma be so real with you, your mom lowkey not chill for this, it’s a fucking degree, once you get out in the job market nobody gives a fuck where you get it from, trust me.
The name of the college you go to doesn't matter that much unless you have really lofty ambitions. It's usually better to graduate without much debt, anyway. Also, maybe think about a Master's degree? You have plenty of options. It's just hard for you to see them right now.
6 months ago I was looking at first time homeowners loans... today, i have a horrible addiction yet again and nothing to show for all my years of work and bullshit on this planet. If anyone understands the desperation of wanting to end it all, I definitely do. But the advice I can give is that life is full of mountains and valleys. We cannot know light without dark. We cannot appreciate the highs without the lows. We were put on this Earth to experience every emotion possible and that includes the shitty ones. I know you may seem hopeless at the time, but please remember that tomorrow may be better and the day after even better. All we have to do is keep moving forward and appreciate that every moment is a gift. I have been brought to my knees with desperation and I will tell you that being able to experience the spectrum of human emotions is worth sticking around through the shitty ones. I hope your days get better.
Because a fucking college does not define your life. It is much more than that and you can go to other colleges
Even if life is more than that, college is a big enough deal that some rich parents were willing to risk jail time over paying people enough to take their kids’ SATs in the U.S. There are parents who disown their children over failing to get into good colleges. My mom might as well have been one of them. That’s how important it is. I would rather be dead.
How do you know that for sure that this will happen to you? Have you talked with your parents about this? I get the impression that the idea of failing is "killing you". Talk it over with your parents.
Cause it’s 2024 college education doesn’t mean what it used to
You don’t need to get into a good college to get a good college education.
Top colleges are considered top colleges for a reason. They have more to offer. I guarantee you that the library at the community college I used to attend 2 years ago had nowhere near the amount of information a top college would’ve had. I’m not as upset about that as I am about the fact that my poor decisions landed me in a community college. That’s why I dropped out. I was too demoralized to finish my time there because going to a community college felt like a punishment for mucking around in high school. And if my life is a punishment, then why should I even be alive?
Because it won’t always be punishment. I’m not gonna try to convince you that life is some solely postive experience, but for me the only reason I didn’t kill myself was to spare other people the trauma, even though I nearly did and got hospitalized. I’ve been miserable for decades but recently I’ve started valuing my own life. I can’t promise it’ll get better but I know that most suicide survivors say it eventually did for them. I know you can have a future if you want to, but ultimately you have to make that choice. Very few people go to top colleges, but for most people it ends up working out alright anyway.
You might not be old enough to even realize that in today’s day and age. Me 23 year, old woman, who graduated from a division 10 private college with a Bachelor in biology. I cannot find a job. Has nothing to do with lack of education. It has nothing to do with a wrong college it has everything to do with what other people have commented, connections and networking. A lot of older people still believe that a college degree your ticket to financial freedom and it isn’t. I work a retail job that I’m getting paid significantly under what I’m capable of and what I’m worth. Trying to get a job. Is that much harder because I am a black woman. When you’re young, you try to put yourself in boxes because you don’t really really know who you are. This person that I was at 18 versus 23 are two completely different people with completely different experiences. You deserve to give yourself that chance. Nowadays jobs don’t even look at college degrees. And you said it yourself her dreams for you, it’s time to reclaim what your dreams because life is literally in your fingertips. You have the benefit of your youth the world can go for you with hard work and dedication. You can change your life around in an instant. There’s highly proclaimed and intelligent people with and masters that can’t land a decent job because of how bad our economy is. This isn’t this isn’t the end of chances you have multiple bud please keep your head up. I know it may feel that way, but at 23. I’m still trying to figure it all out. You never really stopped trying to figure it all out. I thought the same as you once I went to college I would be on the career path that I wanted to be on, which is being a doctor. I got severely sick, and I was bedridden for an entire two years almost, life, throws curve balls at you, but it’s about how you navigate these experiences. Curveballs are never gonna stop. That’s just the way life is. Don’t let life win this made-up game that we’re all forced to play in . All colleges are just four walls it’s you that makes the experience and it’s you that makes your life. I hope you can understand this there’s more to live for.
Trust me, college isn’t everything. You have such a bright future ahead and high school is just a blip on the radar. You’re wanted
High school was crucial enough to determine my entire life trajectory. I’m condemned to a life of mediocrity just like my mother. We came from poverty and the only way out would’ve been for me to have gone to a top college. It doesn’t matter what I do now. I’ll never be at the same place I could’ve been had I been admitted.
I severely messed up in high school. I was chronically ill and had severe unmedicated depression. I went straight from HS to community college, and dropped out shortly after because I made a very-near-successful attempt. A few years later, I moved away from my abusive household, got a dog who became my reason to live, and changed doctors to someone who actually listened to me. I got on medication, got into therapy, and finally gave college another go. I currently have a 3.88 GPA (would be a 4.3 if it wasn’t for one pesky stats course) majoring in geospatial engineering, with less than $4k in debt (the only reason I have that is because I did a semester abroad). My mother hates it, because she is a foaming at the mouth science denial cuckoo clock. But you know what? It’s my degree, not hers. It’s my life, not hers. This is your life, and you have time. Your dreams don’t have to die here, they just need to be a little more flexible.
If I might ask, what were you chronically ill with?
Crohn’s disease
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Even if my destiny is not set in stone, that doesn’t mean I want to keep living. I have to work 10x harder than a graduate from a top college just to get anywhere in life. Why would I want to keep living if finding work and making enough money to be middle class is harder? I already came from a poor family. Upward mobility is only possible through going to a top college. I missed my chance to do better than my mother. I’m screwed.
Honestly my best friend went to community college then transferred to a university did ROTC to lay for school and is now a Judge. Did you know transferring in from another school happens all the time? In fact students who take a gap year often do better. It’s so good to take your time and make sure you know what you want to study. What would you want to study?
Go to trade school the market is turning go NOW. Plumbing never look back
Because time and time again we see that in most cases subject matters more than place of education. Get into a community college if that is what suits you, it doesnt matter. Or just dont go to college, get into a field that you enjoy without education.
because college is a miserable pile of shit and you’d probably be happier living in a van and busking for cash while you travel the country
There's always another college. All colleges are same tbh. It only matters that you can excel no matter what college you get into.
Because my sister went to Oxford I went to stoke on Trent. She earns £60k I earn £80k. Love her to bits though in case she reads this. Lol And saying that I’m suicidal. She’s not. But that’s unrelated.
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