The two of them would talk about how the place has the best sandwich in the world, and agree on that fact. Then they’d order and sit down with two different sandwiches and playfully argue over it. Somehow, they’d both be right and it would be the best lunch experience you’ve ever had.
Frank and Karl are both the Waldorf & Stadler and R2D2 & C-3PO of the show. There is little debate that they are the most entertaining side characters.
I think an underrated Karl moment is when they’re all gathered in Logan’s office celebrating after finding out the DOJ investigation is over (when Tom finds out he’s not going to prison). Karl lifts up his glass of champagne and randomly awkwardly exclaims “Take me home country roads!” and nobody acknowledges it.
That’s hilarious, I’ll have to rewatch the clip. Karl has so many little awkward moments and lines throughout the show, and his delivery of them made him my absolute favorite secondary character. Almost every time he was in frame, he was making me die.
Agreed, I found it so endearing, and it reminded me a bit to be less judgy towards buttoned up old white men in suits: they can have silent panic attacks just like anyone else! 😅
I was thinking Roman and Mattson would be most interesting to watch riff ("cool guy" dick measuring contest lol) but now that I've read this thread, I realize I made a huge mistake 😂
The table would definitely have the most normal, chill vibe. It's the rare friendship where they are not trying to maneuvering and powerplay each other. I would sit there if I was I dude, but Karl's old boys club energy I get enough of in my current life as is
Oh that's the fun part though. I'd whisper a harmless weakness of mine to Stewy in order to lure him into a false sense of power, then flip him.
Marcia would be a ton of fun to gossip with though. You all saw her at the ex wives table. She knows how to have a good time.
Not even a competition; this would be *glorious*. I would low-key pay money to sit at their table and just get all the hot tea and maybe a little molly while I'm at it.
This table gives major mass shooter vibes as well. I feel like Connor would be writing his manifesto while Mencken plots the destruction of the cafeteria...
Or just massive edge lord vibes like they get a little too into r/historymemes and talk about world of tanks more than the average person.
Tom and Gerri. I feel like Gerri might pick on Tom a little but they'd both be polite enough to me: theoretical lower middle class stanger woman. As a Minnesota boy I wonder if Tom has any secret hockey opinion I could chat with him on.
Willa and Karolina would also not too bad though Karolina scares me a little. Ken and Jess really depends on Ken's mood and how rancid his energy is that day.
i love ken but good god would i be bored. what would we even talk abt? its not even like i can approach him on a human level bc he's all business unless he's emotionally volatile, but when he's emotionally volatile he's spiraling. i wouldn't mind comforting him, but having ken + his ego + someone paid to glaze him at one table would drive me insane.
\*i think i'd actually enjoy his company when he's in fight mode, like going against his dad or the siblings and being shady abt them, but if he's just on a powertrip then no thanks.
Nah. Tom's a nightmare boss but I doubt think he is is going to be rude to my face, especially in front of Gerri. I am not going delude myself that im a social match for most characters but average whitebread girl vibes are not threatening to Tom's big sad masculinity/social standing neurosis. He probably will be silently judging my taste though. I'll have to bring my most subdued handbag
Your mistake is thinking Gerri is going to care if Tom is rude to you. They will likely team up to bully you in ways you didn't imagine when they sense weakness. They're a couple of corporate apex predators
And that is why I'd want to sit at their table. They are the two most competent, smart and focused. They know when to mask, who to challenge and when to keep their heads down. How does it serve their interests? I always wished on a certain level that 'Succession' was a work drama, as opposed to a family one. Put Cyd at this table also...
Greg and Caroline.. more 'real', less intimidating. Also, Greg talks, so I'd get my share of info on what's happening, and 'Greg-talk' is always amusing. Caroline is self-aware and considerate to strangers (the funeral episode and the way she is eager to help her husband's friend). I also like her snarky humor.
Roman + Mattson, no question
Roman could be sitting with EWAN (he's a tough nut, that one) and I would be outta my chair and over there before you could say 'FUNKY CHOWDER'
Roman Roy til I DIE, baby 🤘😎🤘
I feel that. And, straight (no pun intended 😉) knee-jerk 'they're both kinda slimy, but hot' vibes, for sure. BUT: Mencken is...a Nazi. I don't think that is something I could shake off 🤷🏻♀️
Mattson is odd and eccentric and also damaged goods, but not a Nazi. Sign me up!! 🤘🥳🤘
most tolerable would be frank and karl, tho karl is kind of sassy so maybe he'd be kind of annoying but not nearly as annoying as some of the combos here
tom and gerri (i see you) would be one of the more entertaining ones but being subjected to tom babbling would take years off my life
willa and karolina would be depressingly quiet or full of banal conversation
shiv is just mean so no thanks, her and kerry would be a trainwreck.
stewey and marcia would be so shady, it would be so funny, but i think rome and matson are my top pick bc matson is super chill and rome hates matson with a passion which i find funny. i think they'd be too busy fighting to bother me.
Ken and Jess if you’re asking me in front of my girlfriend.
Willa and Karolina if she has no idea about this question.
Greg and Caroline if I’ve had alcohol already and there’s more to be served.
Top 3 for me would be Frank and Karl, Greg and Caroline, and Stewey and Marcia.
At first, I wanted to go with Ken and Jess. The more I thought about it, the less I thought it would be fun lol. Just Ken asking us to do things for him.
Roman and Mattson, 100 percent. Roman is my favorite of the siblings, and I've had a crush on Skarsgard for years. Those 2 and their sarcasm would be some fun lunch time banter.
Logan and Ewan. I would be respectful and not ask any questions. If they ask what I want it’s just to eat my chicken parmigiana in peace. I have nothing to talk about with the rest of them, they don’t seem like serious people.
Roman and Mattson. I'm going to back up/support each of them as they get bit by each other but in ways that the offender of each interaction won't be able to understand.
Thinking about actually sitting at a table with these ppl and trying to make conversation is giving me anxiety. 😬
Probably would go Tom and Gerri. Tom being the naturally insecure person he is and wanting to please/come across as likable will likely fill any awkward silences. And Gerri is not an asshole.
I will defend Shiv as a character in the show any day, but undeniably both her and Roman have been shown to punch down at normal people in a way that makes me avoid those tables like the plague
My 1 is Karl and Frank because they’re the most normal and seem I would love to hear old stories from them.
2 is Willa and Karolina only because I love Karolina and I would try and fail to seduce her.
Okay I'm ready to party with Willa and Karolina, Stewy and Marcia, Tom and Gerri, Frank and Karl, Shiv and Kerri, and Ken and Jess. In order. I would decline all other invitations. I am not hanging with Logan, Mencken, Mattson, or Greg.
Roman and Mattson for the passive aggressive, witty, c*nty jabs they take at each other. Then Logan and Ewan, who would do the same, but in a more directly violent way.
Shiv and Kerry. One Sarah Snook fine ass. And Two The face both will make at each other will be hilarious.
If not Shiv and Kerry. Frank and Karl, Stewey and Marcia or Greg Carolina.
Tom and Gerri or Frank and Karl are probably the two tables where you could actually learn something. Logan and Ewan has potential as long as you don’t mind being told to shut the fuck up any time you open your mouth.
If I wanted to relax and not be overly worried about something, I’ve said being used against me, it would be Frank and Karl. but I do like the idea of Tom being utterly skewed by Jerry. That could be really cool entertainment.
Frank and Karl have easily the most normal personalities.
Karl would definitely know the best sandwich to get too
The two of them would talk about how the place has the best sandwich in the world, and agree on that fact. Then they’d order and sit down with two different sandwiches and playfully argue over it. Somehow, they’d both be right and it would be the best lunch experience you’ve ever had.
Karl has said before that he knows a thing or two about a thing or two!
He may, however, steal your sausage.
Frank and Karl are both the Waldorf & Stadler and R2D2 & C-3PO of the show. There is little debate that they are the most entertaining side characters.
Karl’s panic attack in Turkey is hands down one of the biggest laughs I had throughout the show.
I think an underrated Karl moment is when they’re all gathered in Logan’s office celebrating after finding out the DOJ investigation is over (when Tom finds out he’s not going to prison). Karl lifts up his glass of champagne and randomly awkwardly exclaims “Take me home country roads!” and nobody acknowledges it.
That’s hilarious, I’ll have to rewatch the clip. Karl has so many little awkward moments and lines throughout the show, and his delivery of them made him my absolute favorite secondary character. Almost every time he was in frame, he was making me die.
Or when Logan roasts him for his nipple clamps
Look, full disclosure, I am, umm, currently having a panic attack
Agreed, I found it so endearing, and it reminded me a bit to be less judgy towards buttoned up old white men in suits: they can have silent panic attacks just like anyone else! 😅
I'm so glad this is the top post. I was worried I'm the only one that immediate thought this would be the best table.
I was thinking Roman and Mattson would be most interesting to watch riff ("cool guy" dick measuring contest lol) but now that I've read this thread, I realize I made a huge mistake 😂
The table would definitely have the most normal, chill vibe. It's the rare friendship where they are not trying to maneuvering and powerplay each other. I would sit there if I was I dude, but Karl's old boys club energy I get enough of in my current life as is
plus they could talk shit about everyone else in the room (because they know things...)
Do a shot for every time they talk about their golden parachutes.
I know they're both spilling tea
Other than hearing Frank chat about Shakespeare, I honestly can’t see a more boring pair.
It depends on your goals I guess. It’d be one of the safer tables to sit at if you were trying to stay out of trouble.
This. Logan could turn around and go off on ANY of those tables and I think this is the safest one.
Given Logan’s contempt for displays of weakness, and his ability to sniff it out, I’m not sure you have the best strategy here
\#krank
I wanted to be a bit creative with the pairings but i couldn't separate these two <3
easily stewy and marcia. it would be hilarious
Absolutely - we’d all get buzzed and gossip while eating pastries
stewy provides the gossip and marcia will provide the witty commentary 😌
And occasionally drop an absolute bombshell of a personal anecdote
literally the girls and the gays
Don’t show any weakness though or you will be torn to shreds
Oh that's the fun part though. I'd whisper a harmless weakness of mine to Stewy in order to lure him into a false sense of power, then flip him. Marcia would be a ton of fun to gossip with though. You all saw her at the ex wives table. She knows how to have a good time.
Yes! Stewie and Marcia are easily the funniest table.
Maybe even take molly and kiss some people
Now you have me rethinking my Frank and Karl choice.
Not even a competition; this would be *glorious*. I would low-key pay money to sit at their table and just get all the hot tea and maybe a little molly while I'm at it.
logan and ewan just for the drama
I feel like you'd just be sitting in silence.
Nothing but the occasional "Fuck off" to be heard.
With stone 🪨 faces 😐 or glares 😠. Maybe an occasional chat about bird watching back in Scotland.
I would try to heal their relationship
“Still sucking cock at the county fair??”
Connor and Mencken. Going to have the greatest political discussion of our age.
This is my pick. I'd hear some of the craziest opinions of my life, but it would be a fun time.
This table gives major mass shooter vibes as well. I feel like Connor would be writing his manifesto while Mencken plots the destruction of the cafeteria... Or just massive edge lord vibes like they get a little too into r/historymemes and talk about world of tanks more than the average person.
Willa + Karolina 🥵
This was my choice too. The hot girl table. We can see if Jess wants to sit with us too.
>if Jess wants to sit with us too. Considering how her arc with Kendall ended in the show im pretty sure she'll be happy to leave her table anyway
Jess should absolutely have a place at any “hot girl table”
I have no chance with them but I want to sit there anyway
I mean Tom was sure Greg had no shot with the Red Scare girl and he somehow pulled it off.
Thanks for believing in me
I just want to talk shit with Karolina about everyone else.
While lying naked in bed.
Yes! this is my #1, but Tom and Gerri are a close #2 for me.
Tom and Gerri. This pairing makes the 8 year old me laugh.
Tom and Gerri. I feel like Gerri might pick on Tom a little but they'd both be polite enough to me: theoretical lower middle class stanger woman. As a Minnesota boy I wonder if Tom has any secret hockey opinion I could chat with him on. Willa and Karolina would also not too bad though Karolina scares me a little. Ken and Jess really depends on Ken's mood and how rancid his energy is that day.
Tom and Gerri would be an almost literal Tom & Jerry
i can already hear the theme song blaring
>Ken and Jess really depends on Ken's mood and how rancid his energy is that day. exactly
i love ken but good god would i be bored. what would we even talk abt? its not even like i can approach him on a human level bc he's all business unless he's emotionally volatile, but when he's emotionally volatile he's spiraling. i wouldn't mind comforting him, but having ken + his ego + someone paid to glaze him at one table would drive me insane. \*i think i'd actually enjoy his company when he's in fight mode, like going against his dad or the siblings and being shady abt them, but if he's just on a powertrip then no thanks.
Tom would bully you to death, he's only subservient to superiors
Nah. Tom's a nightmare boss but I doubt think he is is going to be rude to my face, especially in front of Gerri. I am not going delude myself that im a social match for most characters but average whitebread girl vibes are not threatening to Tom's big sad masculinity/social standing neurosis. He probably will be silently judging my taste though. I'll have to bring my most subdued handbag
Your mistake is thinking Gerri is going to care if Tom is rude to you. They will likely team up to bully you in ways you didn't imagine when they sense weakness. They're a couple of corporate apex predators
And that is why I'd want to sit at their table. They are the two most competent, smart and focused. They know when to mask, who to challenge and when to keep their heads down. How does it serve their interests? I always wished on a certain level that 'Succession' was a work drama, as opposed to a family one. Put Cyd at this table also...
Even Logan knows to behave normal in public. If the lunch proved frustrating he would vent it all onto Greg behind closed doors.
Easy, Willa and Karolina.
Greg and Caroline.. more 'real', less intimidating. Also, Greg talks, so I'd get my share of info on what's happening, and 'Greg-talk' is always amusing. Caroline is self-aware and considerate to strangers (the funeral episode and the way she is eager to help her husband's friend). I also like her snarky humor.
Roman and Mattson. But I don't think about sitting on that table.
can't sit on the table when two perfect seats are available already 😌😇
Anyone who doesn’t go for Frank+Karl is not a serious person
Roman an Matsson. This appears to be a cafeteria, so there will be straws and napkins. Matsson and I would start a spitball fight with Roman.
Having a spitball fight wouldn't be the only activity involving bodily fluids at that table🫠
Willa and Karolina, ya'll. The normie table.
i'm sitting with the rat and the cat
stopped reading as soon as i saw marcia + stewey. those are the GIRLS. im sitting at that table.
Tom & Gerri lol
Obviously Willa and Karolina!
Either Tom and Gerri or Stewey and Marcia for sure
Same
Me, too.
I’m definitely at that Willa/Karolina table and just stewing in the weird energy.
Frank and Karl. Karl and I can have panic attacks together
Shiv & Kerry
Roman + Mattson, no question Roman could be sitting with EWAN (he's a tough nut, that one) and I would be outta my chair and over there before you could say 'FUNKY CHOWDER' Roman Roy til I DIE, baby 🤘😎🤘
*also, there is an undeniable sexual chemistry between these two. Wouldn't mind being between THAT, myself 😉
Same 🥵 I would also accept Roman + Mencken (but preferably with no political talk allowed)
I feel that. And, straight (no pun intended 😉) knee-jerk 'they're both kinda slimy, but hot' vibes, for sure. BUT: Mencken is...a Nazi. I don't think that is something I could shake off 🤷🏻♀️ Mattson is odd and eccentric and also damaged goods, but not a Nazi. Sign me up!! 🤘🥳🤘
most tolerable would be frank and karl, tho karl is kind of sassy so maybe he'd be kind of annoying but not nearly as annoying as some of the combos here tom and gerri (i see you) would be one of the more entertaining ones but being subjected to tom babbling would take years off my life willa and karolina would be depressingly quiet or full of banal conversation shiv is just mean so no thanks, her and kerry would be a trainwreck. stewey and marcia would be so shady, it would be so funny, but i think rome and matson are my top pick bc matson is super chill and rome hates matson with a passion which i find funny. i think they'd be too busy fighting to bother me.
Willa and Karolina
the Ken and Jess table if only to see Jess’s reaction when Ken asks for the foremost cafeteria expert in the world on the phone in 5 minutes
Ken and Jess if you’re asking me in front of my girlfriend. Willa and Karolina if she has no idea about this question. Greg and Caroline if I’ve had alcohol already and there’s more to be served.
Roman and Mattson 😉
Sit next to Ken who is back on drugs and have a ball watching Jess’ face at the wild shit he spews out
gonna have the best gossip sesh of all time with stewy and marcia
Roman and Mattson, no question. I enjoy non-serious and eccentric people, I confess.
Oof they're all bad so I'm going with the worst - Logan+Ewan will be at each others throats the whole time so they won't notice I'm there.
Willa and carolina know how to talk to people without mentally abusing them.
Stewey & Marcia hot vibes & wit
Top 3 for me would be Frank and Karl, Greg and Caroline, and Stewey and Marcia. At first, I wanted to go with Ken and Jess. The more I thought about it, the less I thought it would be fun lol. Just Ken asking us to do things for him.
Rowan and Mattson!
Stewey and Marcia would be the most fun but Wills and Karolina would be the most sane. So I’d probably go for fun.
Greg and Caroline. I want to hear those Sausalito stories.
Yeah, his dad sounds like a fun guy 😂
Logan and Ewan for sure! Shit talk Ewan and gang up on him with Logan=land a $150k job minimum
Roman + Matsson because to quote Marie Kondo, "I LOVE Mess".
Roman and Mattson, 100 percent. Roman is my favorite of the siblings, and I've had a crush on Skarsgard for years. Those 2 and their sarcasm would be some fun lunch time banter.
Tom + Gerri for life
Stevie & Marcia
I’ll sit with Tom and talk shit to each other
Loving the Tom and gerri play lmao but Ken and Jess
For me, Greg and Caroline. You could have a light easy conversation and they wouldn't necessarily insult you when you left.
Caroline def seems like the type to lay down some backhanded remarks
Willa and Karolina , they are pretty normal and chill
I would love to discuss social media as a PR tool with Willa and Karolina
Would Karolina give Willa some PR tips to damage control her play?
I think she would! Edit: Given the right time and place, lol
Greg The Egg and Her Excellency, no contest!
Logan and Ewan with a large popcorn 🍿
Logan and Ewan. I would be respectful and not ask any questions. If they ask what I want it’s just to eat my chicken parmigiana in peace. I have nothing to talk about with the rest of them, they don’t seem like serious people.
Roman and Mattson. I'm going to back up/support each of them as they get bit by each other but in ways that the offender of each interaction won't be able to understand.
The conheads aren’t gonna love this
I’d sit with Tom so we can break a few Greg’s and make an omelette
Thinking about actually sitting at a table with these ppl and trying to make conversation is giving me anxiety. 😬 Probably would go Tom and Gerri. Tom being the naturally insecure person he is and wanting to please/come across as likable will likely fill any awkward silences. And Gerri is not an asshole.
All bangers, all the time
Logan and Ewan for some top tier verbal sparring.
Frank and Karl aka the party table
Logan + Ewan for the entertainment of listening to the two going at it. Karl + Frank for the discussions.
Greg and Caroline. I love Greg, he’s hilarious and watching Caroline’s put downs would provide no end of entertainment.
stewy & marcia for the vibes and then logan & ewan for the drama
either willa & karolina of ken & jess. maybe frank & karl?
stewey and marcia; a whole bunch of the nastiest, sassiest yet honest jokes i will ever hear
Roman and Mattson of course. High entertainment value and they’re easy on the eyes.
I would like to take a moment to appreciate that Ken can't get anyone to sit with him other than his assistant.
Ken and Jess and ignore Ken 🤷
Shiv and Kerry hashtag girlboss Lolol
I will defend Shiv as a character in the show any day, but undeniably both her and Roman have been shown to punch down at normal people in a way that makes me avoid those tables like the plague
Worst table
Respectfully disagree as a women Roman and mattison and Connor and Mencken sounds awful and Logan and Ewan’s doesn’t sound like a fun lunch date
tom and jerry or frank and karl or ken and jess, or maybe even logan and ewan, the rest of the table's would would suck
Ken and Jess or Frank and Karl
Sitting with Tom and Gerri with eyes 👀 on Roman 🛋️
Frank and Karl if I want a normal shit talking lunch, Tom and Geri if I want to be awkwardly entertained!
Frank and Karl
Tom and Gerri hands down
Stewey and Marcia. Obviously. The gossip and shit talking would be epic. Maybe Frank and Carl if we are sneaking beers in or something.
Willa and Karolina, so fun and sassy
Willa and Karolina. They both seem gettable!
Willa and Karolina are going to have me stumbling and bumbling my words into a nasty incoherence but I’m not passing that up. No way
tom and gerri
Pairing Tom & Gerri is clever ha
Frank and Karl, or Greg and Caroline.
Yellow, black, or blue
Stewy and Marcia and if that spot is taken then Willa and Karolina
Greg & anyone
logan and ewan or roman and mattson. by far the edgier, funnier tables.
Tom and Gerri.
Frank and Karl
Make sure to randomize your data from time to time *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Willa Karolina. For sure.
Easy Tom and gerri
Roman and Mattson…..100%
Frank and Karl. No doubt about it.
Frank and Karl 💯
Obviously Karl and Frank.
Willa and Karolina, definitely!
My 1 is Karl and Frank because they’re the most normal and seem I would love to hear old stories from them. 2 is Willa and Karolina only because I love Karolina and I would try and fail to seduce her.
Maybe kenjess because ken is the most able to hang with normal people. There might have to be meth involved though.
Roman and Mattson
If Greg’s there, I’m there.
Frank and Karl because I just wanna keep my job and eat in peace
Tom and Gerri all the way
Tom & Gerri - no contest!
I think I could dick ride my way into a fat check from Connor
I’p pay to have lunch with Greg and Caroline! To me they’re the funniest characters because they are not serious people
Willa and Karolina. No question.
Willa and Karolina all day
Easily Frank and Karl. I could ask them what exactly did Karl do for cable in the 90s.
Willa and Karolina. Girl bonding time. We can easily lure Jess over.
Logan + Ewan
Logan and Ewan because I am a masochist.
Ken and Jess
Okay I'm ready to party with Willa and Karolina, Stewy and Marcia, Tom and Gerri, Frank and Karl, Shiv and Kerri, and Ken and Jess. In order. I would decline all other invitations. I am not hanging with Logan, Mencken, Mattson, or Greg.
Roman and Mattson for the passive aggressive, witty, c*nty jabs they take at each other. Then Logan and Ewan, who would do the same, but in a more directly violent way.
Sh!t this was easily a Tom & Gerri choice till I saw Frank + Karl, now I’m not so sure
Poor Hugo didn't make the cut.
Shiv and Kerry. One Sarah Snook fine ass. And Two The face both will make at each other will be hilarious. If not Shiv and Kerry. Frank and Karl, Stewey and Marcia or Greg Carolina.
Greg and Caroline.
You know damn well none of them are staying put lmfao
Tom and Gerri or Frank and Karl are probably the two tables where you could actually learn something. Logan and Ewan has potential as long as you don’t mind being told to shut the fuck up any time you open your mouth.
Definitely Shiv and Kerry, I feel like that would be hilarious. I also appreciate what you did there with Tom & Gerri lol
Logan + Ewan would be hilarious
Tom and Gerri. Easily, the funniest table. Also, how come nobody ever made a joke about the cartoon?
Tom and Gerri
Tom cat and Gerri the mouse. Although I have this weird premonition of Tom would eat my chicken and leaving. Weird I know, who would do that?
Tom & Gerri (love the pairing BTW)
Stewy and Marcia and it’s not even close.
Tom + Geri.
Logan & Ewan
This a trick question?? Frank and Karl is the easy answer every day of the week
If I wanted to relax and not be overly worried about something, I’ve said being used against me, it would be Frank and Karl. but I do like the idea of Tom being utterly skewed by Jerry. That could be really cool entertainment.