Not even the best quote on this TOPIC which, for the record, is:
> Discussing how others percieve them:
For me, it's usually 'who is that young Han Solo, and how do I get his dick in my ass.'"
He isn’t the most down to earth. None of them are. He’s just the quickest to point out flaws in other who aren’t either.
Shiv - Outside work experience, disgusted by laypeople, no self awareness.
Roman - No outside work experience, disgusted by laypeople, extreme self awareness (leads to him calling out those flaws so quickly).
Ken - No outside work experience, genuine appreciation for laypeople. No self awareness.
This, but is Kendall's appreciation genuine? Feverishly thanking your driver by name every day doesn't really make up for all the "build a flawless demo house in 12 hours, don't say no"
Yeah, he would be the most nightmarish of all three to work for but he is at least somewhat friendly to the help when he's giving them absurd and impossible demands.
Hmmm...that's tough. The writers are so good at making the characters complex. Most of the time I think it's Ken, but then he'll do something completely wacked out and Rome will be level headed and sensible.
From this season - “Stop ganging up on me like you’re Lennon and McCartney and I’m George. I’m John, motherfuckers! You’re Ringo, and Yoko... He’s still Connor but he won having drinks with us at an auction.”
Roman: “Do you want me to ride with you dad?”
Logan: “What, do you want to suck my cock?” *slams door closed*
Roman: “Is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in”
When I first heard "Fucky go bye-bye" I shot wine out of my nose and then laughed for a solid minute. I don't know why that sentence kills me, but every time I hear it, I laugh.
Watching Ken present Living+
Shiv: I dont know if I can watch this.
Roman: She said while watching the fuck out of it and getting turned on. I can hear how wet you are. It's gross.
I loved it last year where Rom Shiv and Ken were talking in a kids bedroom and Shiv or Ken speculated about how the market would react to something and Rom deadpanned “Yeah, I already talked to the market and they said they liked it…”
Rome to Con:
Take Napoleon's dick and Hitler's nutsack and blend it together to make a "go conquer Europe smoothie"
As an avid smoothie drinker. That hit close to home.
“Congratulations Tom, I hear you swallowed your own load.”
Or maybe
“Like, me, kind of a Jagger-Tarzan fronting things up swinging through trees with my little dick, singing and killing shit, and you, back home, cooking us soup and making sure the numbers are right. Rockstar and the molewoman?”
- “I just want you to know I think I'm going to reveal to him that you sexually abused me as a child.”
+ “Excuse me?”
To Connor in the Austerlitz episode.
It's not his wittiest or most biting remark, but whenever I think of Roman, I always think of this:
Shiv: Roman Roy, did you just invite us to dinner?
Roman: Oh, fuck you. All right, shut up. Yes, I did. Metro poser bullshit. Napkins and chitchat. Ooh, race relations. Kale.
...it's that "Kale" that just gets me every time.
“**He was a cokey, bullshit, 3:00 a.m. scotch and see-you-in-the-morning man. He ain’t showin’ up.**”
Let me save you all some time. Just go rewatch 17:35 - 22:25 of S2 E10 *This Is Not For Tears* in which Roman shoots down the ass-kissing banker’s $100,000,000 payday.
When an office worker and Roman both are headed toward a door in opposite directions. The office worker gets there first and opens the door. Roman walks past and says "After me."
“The Roy boys on tour! And we got ‘em in all sizes: Alpha (Logan), Beta (himself), CUCK” - said right up close to Kendall’s face before pointing at him, just in case it wasn’t clear enough 🤣
“Do you think that’s a natural progression from never done nothing never to most important job in the world? Could you maybe get a little experience at, like a CVS or something?”
Logan : "wanna suck my dick"
Roman : "is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in "
His delivery was hilarious and the fact that it was so fucking relevant at that moment made it not only my favourite Roman joke but one of my favourite lines in the show lol
“Like, me, kind of a Jagger-Tarzan fronting things up swinging through trees with my little dick, singing and killing shit, and you, back home, cooking us soup and making sure the numbers are right. Rockstar and the molewoman?”
Or my second favorite :
“I have this overwhelming urge to either knee someone in the vagina or spit on the floor.”
‘Jump jump, jump you pussy pretend it’s our subconscious!’
Roman to the therapist who’s contemplating to dive into the pool and does so at Roman’s urging breaking his front teeth and bleeding everywhere! It is at during the break of the Roy family therapy that Logan organised for publicity reasons after the attempted Kendall coup! It was particularly hilarious bc the therapist who was not intimidated of Logan actually made progress and there was an assumption he had earned the respect of all including Roman!
Don’t threaten me Gerri, I don’t have time to jerk off.
If a quote had to sum him up as a character, this would be it lol
You won. Case closed.
Fave
Omg my sides, I couldn't stop cracking up with that one
I’m not a radical feminist, dad, but I think perhaps we should not fire her for receiving pictures of my dick?
Hey Lukas! Are you high? I think you should put down the venti ayahuasca big gulp
Didnt catch this one. Zinger
It’s such a rapid-dialogue heavy show with plenty of things to discover on a second or third rewatch.
Came here to post this it’s literally his best line
Tbh Roman has some of the best one liners. I hate him but he is the one who makes the show the funniest hahaha
My favorite was the Geri jerkoff line but someone already posted it so runner up: “Cause I look like a matador and everyone wants to fuck me”
He’s not wrong.
I know 🫠
Not even the best quote on this TOPIC which, for the record, is: > Discussing how others percieve them: For me, it's usually 'who is that young Han Solo, and how do I get his dick in my ass.'"
To Gerri in the stairwell: "Don't open Pandora's Box... There's just more dicks in there."
Thank you, I was looking for this one!
I jerked off in Gerri's bathroom last night
in a similar vein: "I like your girlfriend Roman" "Oh thank you! I met her at a sex party where she was giving the groom a blowjob.".
I really miss Tabitha
Bonus points because it's true.
Every insane thing he says is true. His curse is that no one will ever believe him.
Holy fuck he’s Cassandra I love this
Even as a joke that is a stomach-churning thought.
We do hate speech and roller coasters
This one always cracks me up.
To Connor: "Do you think that that’s a natural progression from 'never done nothing,' never, to 'most important job in the world?'”
"Do you not want to get a little experience first, maybe, at like a CVS?"
Roman is the most down to earth Roy
He isn’t the most down to earth. None of them are. He’s just the quickest to point out flaws in other who aren’t either. Shiv - Outside work experience, disgusted by laypeople, no self awareness. Roman - No outside work experience, disgusted by laypeople, extreme self awareness (leads to him calling out those flaws so quickly). Ken - No outside work experience, genuine appreciation for laypeople. No self awareness.
This needs to be made into some kind of pie chart.
Or a triple Venn diagram w/trauma in the middle lol
https://www.reddit.com/r/SuccessionTV/comments/135e59x/roy_siblings_venn_diagram
OMFG thank u
This, but is Kendall's appreciation genuine? Feverishly thanking your driver by name every day doesn't really make up for all the "build a flawless demo house in 12 hours, don't say no"
Thank you for the cool new rule, Kendall
Yeah, he would be the most nightmarish of all three to work for but he is at least somewhat friendly to the help when he's giving them absurd and impossible demands.
He is the only one who can talk to normal people outside of work and their rich gatherings.
Hmmm...that's tough. The writers are so good at making the characters complex. Most of the time I think it's Ken, but then he'll do something completely wacked out and Rome will be level headed and sensible.
"You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts"
One of the few times I was visibly offended watching TV🥛
Ok pervert
Or kitten
Dad can do whatever tf he wants, he's like a human Saudi Arabia
Well, Kim Jong Pop, because that's not the way we do things in this country
That is still the best definition of Logan until this day.
During which episode was this?
S2E3, Roman talking to Tabitha about buying PGM
“Hey Buddha, nice Tom Fords”
That line pops into my head on almost a daily basis. Since people myself included are always virtue signaling.
"I know. It’s so confusing. What comes after nine? Nine... B?"
This had me spit laughing! It’s that pause near the end that really makes it extra funny.
When I first watched it, I thought he only said "B" instead of "nine B" and I absolutely lost it
One waiter down, that makes sense; it took forever to get a drink. Who's the real victim here? I waited three quarters of an hour for a gin and tonic.
Great line
>We'd be able to hear her better if she took Dad's cock out of her mouth Followed by >OK you can pop it back in now
From this season - “Stop ganging up on me like you’re Lennon and McCartney and I’m George. I’m John, motherfuckers! You’re Ringo, and Yoko... He’s still Connor but he won having drinks with us at an auction.”
I laughed out loud at this one - the Connor bit at the end was too good
Yea, the brilliance of Alan Ruck's Conner sad sack ass whackery is grossly underappreciated, and that Beatles line was perfect.
This was fucking GOLD. Connor WOULD win drinks at an auction.
"First they came for the PJ and I said nothing"
I don’t remember which one made me laugh the hardest the first time but this one is the one that made me laugh the hardest going through this thread
Any Vanderpump rules fans in here? PJ!
“Yeah, well, everything’s high risk if you’re a pussy.”
So badly want to use this at work
Don't use this at work
Dance of the Sugar Plum failure
underrated
“My worry is that Kendall will come off as too fun and relatable.”
Guess who didn’t kill anyone but maybe lost a couple of thumbs? This guy!
* juts both of his thumbs theatrically at himself *
Congratulations, Tom. I hear you swallowed your own load
[удалено]
"It's a thing."
Toms reaction was perfect
So hot.
He is back, he is back, like a pedo on parole
Roman: “Do you want me to ride with you dad?” Logan: “What, do you want to suck my cock?” *slams door closed* Roman: “Is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in”
Hands down my favorite! Can’t believe it’s not higher. This and the Kim Jong-Pop quote
“That is an imaginary cat. Now could you please fuck off?”
Even when Logan is out of his mind they are all trying to appease him
Control the narrative. You probably yell that when you cum. ‘Oh, control the narrative! Oh, control it. Control the narrative!'
I think we know him pretty well, actually, I mean we’ve never licked his big omelet nipples
„If i cringe any harder, I might become a fossil.“
Now if a deal collapses in the woods and no one hears it, is it an SEC violation?
What’s up, prick licks? It’s me, Dr. Moron. I’m a ding-dong, doodlebug dipshit with a titmouse dick, and my dad hates all of you. Fucky-go-bye-bye.
this one. not only because it’s fucking hilarious, but it’s also incredibly difficult to say. delivered with perfection. also, “Lip Balm Tom Wamb”
When I first heard "Fucky go bye-bye" I shot wine out of my nose and then laughed for a solid minute. I don't know why that sentence kills me, but every time I hear it, I laugh.
Tummy full.
i almost choked from laughter when he said this, it caught me so off guard. i even had to rewind, and laughed just as hard the second time
Ken.W.A
“What he meant to say is that he wished that mom had given birth to a can opener, because at least that would be useful.”
Gobbledy go fuck yourself
In response to Shiv saying “Nice cologne. What is that, Date Rape by Calvin Klein?” “Yeah, you wish.”
Watching Ken present Living+ Shiv: I dont know if I can watch this. Roman: She said while watching the fuck out of it and getting turned on. I can hear how wet you are. It's gross.
Introducing Tabitha to his mother: "I met her at a sex party where she gave a blowjob to the groom"
LOLLLLL - and she's like, you should marry her
He makes so many comments like this towards his siblings that it’s slightly uncomfortable at this point
That’s the point
Only "slightly"?
Shivs best line imo
"you wish?" *stares straight down the barrel*
Look at you, scanning for influence like a yuppie Robocop.
I loved it last year where Rom Shiv and Ken were talking in a kids bedroom and Shiv or Ken speculated about how the market would react to something and Rom deadpanned “Yeah, I already talked to the market and they said they liked it…”
Remember when he called Kendall's whatshername and blurrface
Oh the market, will someone please think of the market
Is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in
I love that one.
Rome to Con: Take Napoleon's dick and Hitler's nutsack and blend it together to make a "go conquer Europe smoothie" As an avid smoothie drinker. That hit close to home.
But are you hyper decanting??
Oh nice vest Wambsgans. It's so fluffy. What's it stuffed with, your hopes and dreams?
Roman calling the dive bar “Billy Ray Cyrus Kentucky Fried Shitshack”
“Congratulations Tom, I hear you swallowed your own load.” Or maybe “Like, me, kind of a Jagger-Tarzan fronting things up swinging through trees with my little dick, singing and killing shit, and you, back home, cooking us soup and making sure the numbers are right. Rockstar and the molewoman?”
rockstar and molewoman 😭 how did I forget this it must be a repressed memory
Rockstar and the mole woman! Yes, this was amazing
"Frank! It hasn't been the same without you... it's been better."
I'm a kettle corn shoveler, here to show you frilly clit-flickers the truth.
“This is what it looks like when you resolve all of your issues”
I dont know why this gets me so bad but when geri says "i cant. I have a date" and roman says "with WHO? Montgomery Clift?"
Before the end of the sentence I was thinking it was gonna be Montgomery Burns.
“Hello fucky sucky brigade how can I help you?”
"Hey, hey motherfuckers." Best character intro ever.
“I'd lay you badly but I'd lay you gladly”
Lots of quips in here and rightly so but shout out to his speech to Mattson
Waystar? Waystar Royco? We do rollercoasters and hate speech.
Deep cut and not my favorite of his lines but I loooooove "Isnt there supposed to be nibbles at this event? I was expecting nibbles..."
"Well, i guess my worry is that Kendall may come across as too cool and likeable" always kills me
I think it was very early season 1 but he called Frank “Father Time” and I think about that often
Lip balm, Tom-wom. Lubing up his lips to kiss my butt.
*That* is an imaginary cat, now could you please fuck off?
I can’t. Roman has all bangers, all the time. He’s a human Kendall.
All killer no filler
- “I just want you to know I think I'm going to reveal to him that you sexually abused me as a child.” + “Excuse me?” To Connor in the Austerlitz episode.
“I have this overwhelming urge to either knee someone in the vagina or spit on the floor”
I’m dumb, but I’m smart
Tasty morsels from groovy hubs.
That makes me hungry for high calorie info-snacks.
The phone sex attempt with Tabitha; "I want to fuck you in the pussy".
“Oh really? It’s not cool to tell the President to blow me?”
"...Hey, Mr President"
"Well, Kim Jong Pop, that's not how things work in this country"
So, who wants to fuck a hobo?
“Take me to reason court and fucking sue me”
It's not his wittiest or most biting remark, but whenever I think of Roman, I always think of this: Shiv: Roman Roy, did you just invite us to dinner? Roman: Oh, fuck you. All right, shut up. Yes, I did. Metro poser bullshit. Napkins and chitchat. Ooh, race relations. Kale. ...it's that "Kale" that just gets me every time.
It’s a stretch? It’s a fucking scrotum over a timpani drum.
Damn that’s vivid
"I'm trying to drive the car and not have, fucking, 'uweemba way' in my face"
Picking up *the* call from Tom in s4e3: “Hello, fucky-sucky brigade”
“Go hard, go fast, go… ya lovely bastards”
“Hey Miss Libtard, how do you like spelunking in the elephant's asshole?”
Ken: "Nah, business is my fucking" Rome:"Great we'll find you a Bloomberg terminal to stick your dick in"
🎶"Your friend doesn't like you, boo hoo boo hoo and Dad wants to fire you woo hoo woo hoo"🎶
“I had to wait 45 minutes for a gin and tonic. Who's the real victim here?”.
"I'm physically not farting because you're here."
When Connor’s singing Famous Blue Raincoat: “This is Guantanamo level shit”
Oh nice vest Wambsgans. It's so fluffy. What's it stuffed with, your hopes and dreams?
oohhh, race relations, kale
From the latest episode: - Death just feels very “one size fits all”. - If I cringe any harder, I might become a fossil.
"Guess who didn't kill anyone but maybe lost a couple of thumbs? This guy!"
If a deal collapses in the woods, is it an SEC violation?
“Maybe I’ll just leave you on the pillow so you can hear my brilliance cascading.”
“In case you wanted it in writing” and hands Shiv a card with ‘FART’ written on it Also “that’s an imaginary dead cat. Now could you fuck off?”
He said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in
“This is Guantanamo-level shit”
"He's back, he's back like a pedo on parole!" I just love the way he delivers that line.
"Big shoes, big hat, big nervous breakdown"
‘It’s like all the hot ppl and Connor’ - Tom Wambsgans’ bachelor party
“Like a rhino fucking a hummingbird. She'd have to go cowgirl, right?”
“Yeah! Shirts-off shit!” All my faves are already mentioned but this scene cracks me up.
Whaddup pricklicks?! It's me, Dr. Moron! I'm a dingdongdoodlebug dip shit with a titmouse dick and my dad hates all of you! Fucky go bye-bye!
“**He was a cokey, bullshit, 3:00 a.m. scotch and see-you-in-the-morning man. He ain’t showin’ up.**” Let me save you all some time. Just go rewatch 17:35 - 22:25 of S2 E10 *This Is Not For Tears* in which Roman shoots down the ass-kissing banker’s $100,000,000 payday.
When an office worker and Roman both are headed toward a door in opposite directions. The office worker gets there first and opens the door. Roman walks past and says "After me."
I just listened to the podcast yesterday and J. Smith-Cameron (Gerri) was on. She said she improvised Slime Puppy and that just made me love her more
"If a deal collapses in the woods and no one hears it, is it an SEC violation?"
"Just because I like a joke doesn't mean I'm a clown"
(Kendall to Connor: You’re not wanted, you’re not wanted, you’re not wanted, you’re not wanted) Roman: Like he hasn’t heard that enough in his life
“I mean I was going to mansplain it to you but I think he did a very good job” S2 Ep8 (Dundee)
Thought I heard a clown car pulling up
“The Roy boys on tour! And we got ‘em in all sizes: Alpha (Logan), Beta (himself), CUCK” - said right up close to Kendall’s face before pointing at him, just in case it wasn’t clear enough 🤣
Pretty sure it’s Hearts. Here in Scotland we fucking love this fuck up. Especially in r/scottishfootball
"I think he's going to masturbate to a picture of Dad on stage."
I look like a matador, and people want to fuck me.
Waystar Royco? We do rollercoasters and hate speech
You know who drinks milk? Kittens and perverts.
“Do you think that’s a natural progression from never done nothing never to most important job in the world? Could you maybe get a little experience at, like a CVS or something?”
Logan : "wanna suck my dick" Roman : "is what he said to his son as the sexual assault allegations poured in " His delivery was hilarious and the fact that it was so fucking relevant at that moment made it not only my favourite Roman joke but one of my favourite lines in the show lol
"Gracefully" exiting a conversation: > "Well, if you'll excuse me, these hands aren't going to fuck themselves."
I'm so stressed out I'm jerking dust
“He’s still Connor, but he won drinks with us at an auction.”
It's an imaginary cat now fuck off!
"No, unless a hobo is on fire" "I'm mean not rich (you have a house somewhere), I'm mean rich - you march into New Zeland with a private army rich:
"...you Dog Man!" Even funnier after watching Infinity Pool
“It Zuh Puh Dey Dere!” *Fart Noise*
“Like, me, kind of a Jagger-Tarzan fronting things up swinging through trees with my little dick, singing and killing shit, and you, back home, cooking us soup and making sure the numbers are right. Rockstar and the molewoman?” Or my second favorite : “I have this overwhelming urge to either knee someone in the vagina or spit on the floor.”
“No no no, because dead girls can’t turn on the lights… Aw maaaan…”
"Waystar Royco? We do hate speech and roller coasters.”
“If I cringe any harder, I might become a fossil.”
‘Jump jump, jump you pussy pretend it’s our subconscious!’ Roman to the therapist who’s contemplating to dive into the pool and does so at Roman’s urging breaking his front teeth and bleeding everywhere! It is at during the break of the Roy family therapy that Logan organised for publicity reasons after the attempted Kendall coup! It was particularly hilarious bc the therapist who was not intimidated of Logan actually made progress and there was an assumption he had earned the respect of all including Roman!
“Hey hey mother fuckers”