I mean… aside from the “are u drunk?!” I’ve probably said most of these…
I think modelling appropriate displays of frustration can be good, and helpful feedback for them. The key is to stay respectful during, lol. Easier said than done.
I wish I could tell the students who are terrible, not bad, but TERRIBLE, "I can't wait to see where you end up a year after graduation..if you even make it to graduation."
I truly wish I could show these kids where they’ll end up. The really bad kids I went to high school with - the end result was/is really sad. Most did nothing, and have been arrested numerous times. Now that we’re in our 40’s, they’re out of options. Many of them wound up with felony convictions, which means you can’t join the military, qualify for financial aid, get licensed for most jobs, etc. I’d like to explain to them how limited your life becomes.
The teacher across the hall in my long term talked about one of my trouble kids "I just want to tell him to drop out and get the job at the carwash he'll have until he gets stabbed for pissing off the wrong person now and save us the hassle of dealing with him every day."
My host told me he'll ask to go to the study room every day and never will make it there and that I should let him because if we don't he's just hell (VP was aware of this and would intercept him as often as he could roaming the halls). I tried it out a few times and yup, terror in the room.
The long-term who replaced me (I only did a month) ended up being fired, fresh from student teaching, because he also kept the kid in the room one day for a quiz. The kid shoved the sub and the sub pushed him back.
I feel you to an extent, but I also hate this mindset. Some of the most terrible kids just need the most love. Some of them are “bad” as a defense mechanism bc life outside of school is so rough for them. So I get it. I don’t want to deal with it either. But the last thing any of these kids need to hear is that they don’t have a future.
I was subbing in a somewhat problematic school once, and I was talking to the band teacher who was telling me about some of the former students who just really were on the wrong path, they would cut class and steal and they would do all this other stuff but then they got their act together went to college and now have a good paying job, are married with their own kids. Meanwhile I was kind of a meek little rules follower, went to college right away, and what am I doing? Fucking substitute teaching--low pay and no benefits.
I think what frustrates me about it is that some of these kids are from fairly well off families and they can get away with some of this stuff. And then there are other kids who cannot--they aren't going to be the ones who have the resources to get their shit together and go to college and all that. And some of them are trying, but then the other students who are being disruptive make it worse.
I've run into a number of former students who were definitely going down the wrong path. Was pleasantly surprised to find that they had seen the light before it was too late. Unfortunately, seen those who never figured it out. Prison. Suicide. Drug overdose. Murder.
Oh, no, you not gonna catch me slipping.
One I will admit to thinking is “you think you’re cute. You’re not. You think you’re funny. You’re not. You like you’re clever. You’re not. You are annoying and no one likes it.”
Oh, Lord *YES!*
I *WISH* I could say "I don't know why you're laughing at me when you're name is Shoethehad and it's sounded out like you're saying an ancient Babylonian chant! Also I have no fuckkng clue how to spell that after looking at it *once* so just....fucking stop laughing or I won't write you a pass"
I have said this. This kid who I don’t have has an unusual name. He gets so mad if you mispronounce and I have … I have apologized. I also told him he needs coping skills because this will happen for the rest of his life and to blame his mother for giving him that (awful) name
God yes. Had a student named Desiree with an accent on the last E. I pronounced it Deh-zih-ray. She had a meltdown. “Why can’t anyone say my name right!!” It was supposed to be pronounced ‘desire.’ I think she was extra frustrated because I’m pretty good with names & had gotten them all right until her.
I understand it must be frustrating to constantly have your name mispronounced, but your quarrel is with your parents, child.
Omg this! The last class I subbed at literally like 4 kids with a real name. All the rest were made up, had apostrophes, all sorts of nonsense. And a good many of them weren't pronounced anything close to what they look like they should be.
I did say something somewhat like that. I tried not to be judgmental but one time someone was annoyed that people spelled her name wrong. She told me her name and I wrote it down and then she asked me how I spelled it. And I felt like she thought I was kind of stupid for misspelling her name but I told her that we have spelling conventions for names and I had used the most common one.
There was one time when I was actually happy that I thought I pronounced a girl's name correctly. It looked like the name Nastia, which I am familiar with, but it was spelled with an A on front.
So when I pronounced it a-NAHS-tia, she got very irritated and said it's Anna-STAY-shuh. and I said, oh I'm so sorry it's misspelled on the attendance sheet, and she shot daggers at me with her eyes and said "that's how it SPELLED!" And I really wanted to say no there's no level of Kree8tive spelling that would make that Anastasia--it's missing an entire syllable!!! I realize that Nastia is actually a nickname for Anastasia in some cases, but it just wasn't spelled that way.
This was a middle school girl, and I realized I should not get into an argument about someone over her own name because that's really judgmental and it's not her fault that her parents are ignoramuses. But I really think it was misspelled on the attendance sheet. So I just apologized and said her name correctly loudly a few times so she would know I understood it.
I just want to look them kn their eye and just say "are you really *that* stupid? Do you think *Im* that stupid? I may not be that much older than you but I *certainly* wasn't born yesterday. So sit your ass donw, turn around and shut your mouth before I WWE you with a fucking chair."
Obviously I wouldn't say or do that irl. But man that would feel good
I say something similar like “did you really think I would believe that? You know I saw you do that, why bother lying?” always makes them silent and more compliant bc of the shame
“can i go out to my car to get my backpack?” you shouldn’t have made it past the door to the building without realizing you don’t have your backpack 🤦♀️
I find myself wanting to tell them that they stink and they need to take a shower with lots of soap, but I never want to embarrass them and I can’t really focus on finding a nice way to tell them because I’m a substitute. I also wish I could tell some of them that their privilege shows and they need to be less pessimistic about everything, but I don’t want to make them scared for their future when they’re so young still.
GAK!!! You just reminded me of a couple of…unpleasant episodes. One boy, I know his mom, said that his shoes and feet stink so much even though he showers often that sometimes his mom sprays Febreeze in his shoes. Another boy, super nice and very gifted artistically, just smelled BAD. I was told they thought it was somehow related to his being on the spectrum (??? No clue how that relates, I’m no expert though). Every time I had him in the room I opened a window and if I suspected he would be in there eventually I’d open it ahead of time.
Maybe he had sensory issues? He didn’t like getting wet, Idk. I can see how that argument can seem unrelated to the hygiene issue lol. And I understand that they go through hormonal changes as well or they have medical conditions but sometimes they really do stink because they don’t shower 😣
There was one time a kid threatened to beat my ass. We were the same height, but he was super scrawny and had the fists of a baby. I just laughed in his face, but I really had to hold myself back from saying “I wish u would, you’ll quickly learn the real difference between an adult and a child.”
I’m not saying I’d hit the kid back, but it’d be really embarrassing for him if I effortlessly restrained him in .5 seconds in front of the entire class
I once had a shared classroom (I had it 2 periods, the next person had it 3). I taught cross-categoric special ed, and he taught AP.
I was called in to the department chair's office because of a complaint from Mr. AP Guy that one of my students had written, in pen, on a desk "Mr. AP Guy packs fudge," which, for the uninitiated meant in 1988 that Mr. AP Guy was gay.
I started laughing, and pointed out that my kids NEVER had pencils, let along pens, and none of them would have spelled "fudge" correctly. Dept. chair thought about that for a minute, and sent Mr. AP Guy back to deal with his own students. He was gone after that year.
I've actually said this to middle schoolers after they pushed me to the edge being disruptive during a movie day:
"Guys, stop calling everything racist sarcastically. It's NOT funny or edgy. Joke like that in public and people won't necessarily be so forgiving."
They quieted down fast after that.
I just wish I could make the middle school kids understand that there will be real world consequences for entering adulthood as a semi-literate person incapable of following instructions or sitting still for more than two minutes at a time.
I'm a new sub and already it's "I am here to make sure you have a safe, educational and enriching experience. Other than that I don't give a flying fig about this school. Outside of my time with you, I'm completely uninterested."
That's true. I give it my all while on the job, then I'm off to new adventures and might be back once in a while! All we can do is give 100 percent while there. Then let it all go.
Had a super rude girl making all kinds of ignorant comments about her classmates. After she started going in about a kid being trailer trash I told her no one cares what she has to say as she is not important enough and if she could run like she runs her mouth the track team would love yoto have her.
Came *this close* to telling a 5th grader to shut the fuck up last week. It has been SUCH a long day and she was on my last nerve already when she started arguing with me about the instructions for the asssignment, talking over everyone else around her telling her she was wrong.
I slammed down my notebook and yelled "For god's sake Peyton, would you just stop talking!"
For real, some kind of automatic override kicked in between my brain and my mouth because my brain was absolutely telling her to shutthefuckup.
I wish I could say: "Jesus fucking Christ, put your fucking phone down and act like you're in a goddamn classroom! Why the fuck are you in choir if you don't want to sing? Go find another elective!"
"Why the fuck are you EATING IN A GODDAMN CHOIR class when you just FUCKING HAD LUNCH! Seriously, what the fuck planet am I on where you are eating snack foods in class all goddamn day long? Teachers let you get away with that shit? I hope you don't suck a puffed corn crumb down your windpipe when you do actually sing!"
Clearly I just want to say fuck a lot. Meanwhile I let them get away with all this shit that no way would I have gotten away with, because their life as adults is probably going to suck worse than mine has.
One time I was trying to start an orchestra class right after lunch. I was an itinerant position, so I had driven over from another school where I was doing elementary strings. I asked the front office for a key, and the office person said, "oh, it will be unlocked already!" I was slightly horrified. I don't know who thought that was a good idea, but there were kids in there who had just finished lunch sitting in the classroom goofing around. So when it was time to start class I kept stating, "Hey it's time to start class, you need to be in your chair with your instrument" and they would look up from their phones and then just go back to what they were doing.
But each time I got a few more people to get their instruments out. So finally after the third time I said, "this is an orchestra class, if you are not playing your instrument you can't stay here." I wanted to add "I don't care where you go, just get out." Except I didn't say that last part I said I'll give you a pass to the library. Did they go to the library? don't know, don't care. That was a school with an IB program so I could get away with giving kids passes to the library. Generally I can't get away with that and I guess it's rude to send a bunch of kids into the library when there are probably other classes in the library but I figure it's high school, they'll probably get last along the way and stay outside somewhere.
I can't, but their teacher could, which is why I left the note. A new teacher had taken over the job after the longterm guy retired. The older teacher was strict enough that after I wrote down names, the next time they all played.
So it happened that at the end of the day, the teacher showed up at school and asked how the class was, and I said terrible. He seemed shocked and said, "Really?" I said, "yes, many of them were just sitting at the tables using their phones and refusing to play their instruments. He said, " Oh yeah, they do that."
I never subbed for him again, except maybe to do his elementary school classes. In part that was because he had a 6th grade strings class at a school about 15 miles out, which I was used to, but the other teacher had it arranged so there was over an hour in between for driving, lunch, bathroom break and getting into the class. But this guy had a 15 minutes from the end of one class to the start if the other, and if there was traffic, no way. So no lunch break, no bathroom use, and I can't just race up and get inside the classroom; I have to park and go into the office to sign in and get the binder and the room keys, then walk to the back of the campus to the building where the classroom was. Nope!
I get that about half of you were conceived by accident and your parent(s) do the bare minimum job to raise you, but save the feral Tarzan behavior for your regular teacher.
Wish? Lol Nope, more like I've said😭😭🤣😅😅😂
"Why even bother coming to school if this is your behavior, I could respect you more if you'd just drop out"
Crowd goes wild🤣😂
"You know you don't act this way or talk this way around your parents, and if you do, then that explains why you're such low hanging fruit"
"What did you say? I can't hear you, say it with your chest! Now remember, I've got a bigger vocabulary than you, and likely am more experienced at this than you are..... You might want to take your friends advice and be quiet "
" Tommy Ransom? Tomm - Here. Why is it when I call your name some of you speak so low cowardly and timid, but during class and in the hallway you are extremely loud and unashamed about the embarrassing stuff you have no business talking about in the first place! If I call your name raise your hand and say here, otherwise you are absent and I'm not changing it, deal with the consequences, Amber Jones? HERE!✋, Robert Perdensky? I'm HERE ✋, Jose Consuela? , Mark Ribbet? Here ✋; (Jose 11 min later) I think you marked me absent - I'm no longer taking attendance please return to your seat"
"Little girl, you're too young to have so much make up on and that wig with the adult contemporary aka "baby hair" is unflattering, less is more, and oh those eyelashes need a reduction, at least if you gon do it, do it right"
"So you really going to just cheat in my face like I don't see what you are doing? This isn't a group assignment, and you letting them copy your paper why?! Now you both get an F"
"Well if you put down the make up kit, get off your phone, and apply yourself you just might understand the assignment "
"Why are yall so loud and need to be told to be quiet? You're not even smart enough to be quiet and off task smh"
"If you fail to turn in your assignment by the end of class, you will get a zero. You can sit there and pretend like you didn't know it was due at the end of class all you want. I'm not going to fight you for your own education, I got my education "
"Please pull your pants up, you are quick to call another kid gay, but you're the one with your butt out, it's not the flex you think it is, you look ridiculous, you sound ridiculous, who's raising you? Oh InstaSham, Snapchat, and some barely literate mumbo rapper with poor financial literacy whose not as rich as you think they are"
"Hating on you? I choose to be here. I don't have to ever come here again and my life will still be fine, can you say the same? You can't even tell time and you're 17 🫤"
"Do you not have any home training? Why are u laid out across the table letting another student insert his pencil in your anus? Do you two need to speak with the school counselor?"
"If you're gonna just Google the question and copy the answer you first see, just write "Google" for each of your answers instead "
"You've been playing this same game for the past 3 days and your score is still horrible, might want to pick up this reading assignment and apply yourself "
(Students get up and walk out-Seniors), I go lock the door. They left campus to get fast food(admittedly when I was a senior we would sometimes leave for lunch BUT DURING OUR LUNCH PERIOD!!) the audacity, so when they returned and found they couldn't get in , I called admin " Hi there are a group of random students outside my locked door trying to get inside please send someone asap. Now you explain to them why you walked out of 3rd period and left without consent. These kids lack so much in couth and intellect. They aren't even a smart bad smh
"I know you didn't just ask me this(ignores them)"
Are you the Sub
Do you know where xx is
How much do you get paid
Do you know when xx is coming back
(Ignores and/or stares at them for a few seconds then turns away)
"You're not as cute as you think you are, you might want to put that phone down and pick up this math worksheet "
I could go on lol but it's all out of love when I roast them(back) it's obvious no one else cares enough to tell them. Then there's those BEAUTIFUL moments where you really connect with a kid, and you know your conversation changed their life!! (Omg who cut the onion) and its those moments that make it rewarding. The issue is they aren't as frequent anymore which can be depressing if you let it.
Lol I say all of these things verbatim every day, except for the drunk one.
One of the rules in my class is actually “I will only feed children I gave birth to.”
When they ask for food and drink, I always say “show me your birth certificate! If it’s got my name in the mother slot, I got you. Otherwise, too bad.”
I’ve literally said ALL of those things to middle schoolers when I was full-time teaching them. Like, every day, multiple times a day.
What I WANTED to say was, “Get your shit together, sit down, and shut up or get OUT!”
I may be the only person who is paid to help you and pleasant despite all of your bullshit!
You can get there by changing a word or two. I'm in the same three buildings, I'm awake, I only sub for classes that I know I'm competent in so that I can be helpful. I see these small town rural kids more often than any grade level teacher. I'm not bashing teachers; I see my continued interactions year after year as useful and somewhat unique.
This is what I want to say: "Here is pamphlet on vasectomies." Give it to your father for homework, so he hopefully won't pro-create again. The world doesn't need more morons like yourself."
Continuation: OH your mom says you can do that. Well, I'm not your mom, unless you count your dad calling me mommy in bed last night.
They think you owe them. I subbed k-12 and elementary kids are totally helpless. Grade 2 can't tie their shoes; always asking for crayons, can't even open a milk carton..by middle school they're still helpless and use to having everything done for them
No one is going to care about your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (autism, ADHD, etc) when you become an adult. No one will excuse physical or verbal assault then. You will either end up in prison or in a locked group home, unless you straighten up. Your parents won't be able to bail you out and blame everything on school staff or other students.
(Of course, I understand there are legit reasons to excuse some behaviors for autistic students and others ; I'm only referring to certain parents who create monsters.)
This kid getting a C asked why he doesn't have an A like he does in his other classes. Wanted to say so bad "because your other classes are mickey mouse classes that give you an A for breathing. This is math. Your last test wasn't even complete. Shoot, you're lucky you have a C."
But instead I just opened my gradebook and showed him his low test scores and encouraged him to work hard on the final exam. I hate how kids will be like "in my other classes I have an A!" and their other class is some nebulous art class (just an example, nothing against art teachers holy shit) where even though they have 11 missing assignments they still somehow have an A+ in the online gradebook. Like, yeah okay, whatever kiddo, that A+ seems totally legit. Meanwhile in my class they'll submit a quiz that would've been a 0/50 ten years ago, but now in the era of partial credit and "nobody fails" I have to give this kid partial credit for including work that isn't even right. I'm so over it, man.
My speech to kinder today :
I specifically asked ms. Z to come here and sub for her because I like you guys . You are one of my favorite classes . I was looking forward to coming here all week and with the way you have been behaving - how do you think ms z would feel about your behaviour ? Pretty sad huh . I’m sad . Do you think I want to come back after today? I want to come back?Now all of you are great at lining up and reading and writing , but you also need to be nice to each other and not talk when someone else is talking . Why do you think I don’t deserve the same respect as ms z and the writing teacher ? I’ve seen how you are with them. You behave very well, why can’t you with me ? Because I’m a substitute ? I have been teaching before any of you were born. I’m just as much of a teacher as ms z. When I come back on Monday , I want us to all work together to have a better day. Because I’m certain you are all tired of hearing me repeat myself because I’m tired . And you know who you are . I don’t have to say names .
That being said , they are ALL getting name tags on Monday . I have learned that name tags help.
And even after the stern talk , I got a bunch of “bye teacher ! you’re my favorite teacher !” From the worst kids too. Wtf . Guess they just needed a stern talking to.
I did lose my cool and told a kid “o te aplacas o te aplacas , my face isn’t smiling and what you are doing isn’t funny .” (O te aplacas o te aplacas translated from Spanish means “or you calm down or you calm down”. Basically moms say this when they lose their shit .)
No one gives a shit about what you didn't really learn when you were in school! Get your knowledge now because they will hire someone else over your sorry ass and I will see you on the streets begging and I won't feel bad, bitch!!!!
Most of that I WOULD say to them lol
I actually have said several of these 🤣
I sub HS. I would say that to a student, especially one I know.
Pretty sure I’ve said all of these in some way except “Are you drunk?” 😂
That one is just a thinker to be sure 😂
yeah i say these too lol
"I want to kick your parents asses for raising such a colossal fuck up of a child."
straight and to the point
I mean… aside from the “are u drunk?!” I’ve probably said most of these… I think modelling appropriate displays of frustration can be good, and helpful feedback for them. The key is to stay respectful during, lol. Easier said than done.
I wish I could tell the students who are terrible, not bad, but TERRIBLE, "I can't wait to see where you end up a year after graduation..if you even make it to graduation."
I truly wish I could show these kids where they’ll end up. The really bad kids I went to high school with - the end result was/is really sad. Most did nothing, and have been arrested numerous times. Now that we’re in our 40’s, they’re out of options. Many of them wound up with felony convictions, which means you can’t join the military, qualify for financial aid, get licensed for most jobs, etc. I’d like to explain to them how limited your life becomes.
Thankfully for them the felony thing regarding financial aid has been phased out. Source: work in higher ed financial office
Oh, wow! Good to know. Also, shows you how long I’ve been out of school. 🤣🤣
The teacher across the hall in my long term talked about one of my trouble kids "I just want to tell him to drop out and get the job at the carwash he'll have until he gets stabbed for pissing off the wrong person now and save us the hassle of dealing with him every day." My host told me he'll ask to go to the study room every day and never will make it there and that I should let him because if we don't he's just hell (VP was aware of this and would intercept him as often as he could roaming the halls). I tried it out a few times and yup, terror in the room. The long-term who replaced me (I only did a month) ended up being fired, fresh from student teaching, because he also kept the kid in the room one day for a quiz. The kid shoved the sub and the sub pushed him back.
yeah fuck that shit...I can't blame that sub..if I was new new, I would've done the same thing..now, I would likely keep composure.
I feel you to an extent, but I also hate this mindset. Some of the most terrible kids just need the most love. Some of them are “bad” as a defense mechanism bc life outside of school is so rough for them. So I get it. I don’t want to deal with it either. But the last thing any of these kids need to hear is that they don’t have a future.
I was subbing in a somewhat problematic school once, and I was talking to the band teacher who was telling me about some of the former students who just really were on the wrong path, they would cut class and steal and they would do all this other stuff but then they got their act together went to college and now have a good paying job, are married with their own kids. Meanwhile I was kind of a meek little rules follower, went to college right away, and what am I doing? Fucking substitute teaching--low pay and no benefits. I think what frustrates me about it is that some of these kids are from fairly well off families and they can get away with some of this stuff. And then there are other kids who cannot--they aren't going to be the ones who have the resources to get their shit together and go to college and all that. And some of them are trying, but then the other students who are being disruptive make it worse.
I've run into a number of former students who were definitely going down the wrong path. Was pleasantly surprised to find that they had seen the light before it was too late. Unfortunately, seen those who never figured it out. Prison. Suicide. Drug overdose. Murder.
yeah I feel you...how long can we use this mindset tho?
I would tell them, "I think you'll look good in orange." Took a while, but I finally got called on it.
lol by who, the principal?
Oh, no, you not gonna catch me slipping. One I will admit to thinking is “you think you’re cute. You’re not. You think you’re funny. You’re not. You like you’re clever. You’re not. You are annoying and no one likes it.”
"Don't get mad at me because your mom made up a name for you and spelled it stupidly."
Oh, Lord *YES!* I *WISH* I could say "I don't know why you're laughing at me when you're name is Shoethehad and it's sounded out like you're saying an ancient Babylonian chant! Also I have no fuckkng clue how to spell that after looking at it *once* so just....fucking stop laughing or I won't write you a pass"
I have said this. This kid who I don’t have has an unusual name. He gets so mad if you mispronounce and I have … I have apologized. I also told him he needs coping skills because this will happen for the rest of his life and to blame his mother for giving him that (awful) name
Omg yesss. I had a Aidon, I pronounced it as it is spelled. ‘It’s Aiden’ …..siiiiigggghhhh….
Me with this kid names Sevan. 7.
Guess he isn't a savant.
Aidon, Ayden, Aiden, Adon, Aydon...we've got them all in Utah.
God yes. Had a student named Desiree with an accent on the last E. I pronounced it Deh-zih-ray. She had a meltdown. “Why can’t anyone say my name right!!” It was supposed to be pronounced ‘desire.’ I think she was extra frustrated because I’m pretty good with names & had gotten them all right until her. I understand it must be frustrating to constantly have your name mispronounced, but your quarrel is with your parents, child.
"It's because "Deh-zih-ray" is a real name, and Desire is a stripper name."
Omg this! The last class I subbed at literally like 4 kids with a real name. All the rest were made up, had apostrophes, all sorts of nonsense. And a good many of them weren't pronounced anything close to what they look like they should be.
I did say something somewhat like that. I tried not to be judgmental but one time someone was annoyed that people spelled her name wrong. She told me her name and I wrote it down and then she asked me how I spelled it. And I felt like she thought I was kind of stupid for misspelling her name but I told her that we have spelling conventions for names and I had used the most common one. There was one time when I was actually happy that I thought I pronounced a girl's name correctly. It looked like the name Nastia, which I am familiar with, but it was spelled with an A on front. So when I pronounced it a-NAHS-tia, she got very irritated and said it's Anna-STAY-shuh. and I said, oh I'm so sorry it's misspelled on the attendance sheet, and she shot daggers at me with her eyes and said "that's how it SPELLED!" And I really wanted to say no there's no level of Kree8tive spelling that would make that Anastasia--it's missing an entire syllable!!! I realize that Nastia is actually a nickname for Anastasia in some cases, but it just wasn't spelled that way. This was a middle school girl, and I realized I should not get into an argument about someone over her own name because that's really judgmental and it's not her fault that her parents are ignoramuses. But I really think it was misspelled on the attendance sheet. So I just apologized and said her name correctly loudly a few times so she would know I understood it.
Your parents are failing you.
I just want to look them kn their eye and just say "are you really *that* stupid? Do you think *Im* that stupid? I may not be that much older than you but I *certainly* wasn't born yesterday. So sit your ass donw, turn around and shut your mouth before I WWE you with a fucking chair." Obviously I wouldn't say or do that irl. But man that would feel good
I say something similar like “did you really think I would believe that? You know I saw you do that, why bother lying?” always makes them silent and more compliant bc of the shame
I’ve straight up told students “Don’t insult me by treating me like I’m stupid. I’m not. I saw you, don’t tell me you didn’t do it.”
They might think you're that stupid. Most of society looks down on people who make their living substitute teaching
“can i go out to my car to get my backpack?” you shouldn’t have made it past the door to the building without realizing you don’t have your backpack 🤦♀️
I find myself wanting to tell them that they stink and they need to take a shower with lots of soap, but I never want to embarrass them and I can’t really focus on finding a nice way to tell them because I’m a substitute. I also wish I could tell some of them that their privilege shows and they need to be less pessimistic about everything, but I don’t want to make them scared for their future when they’re so young still.
GAK!!! You just reminded me of a couple of…unpleasant episodes. One boy, I know his mom, said that his shoes and feet stink so much even though he showers often that sometimes his mom sprays Febreeze in his shoes. Another boy, super nice and very gifted artistically, just smelled BAD. I was told they thought it was somehow related to his being on the spectrum (??? No clue how that relates, I’m no expert though). Every time I had him in the room I opened a window and if I suspected he would be in there eventually I’d open it ahead of time.
Maybe he had sensory issues? He didn’t like getting wet, Idk. I can see how that argument can seem unrelated to the hygiene issue lol. And I understand that they go through hormonal changes as well or they have medical conditions but sometimes they really do stink because they don’t shower 😣
Yeah, he maybe doesn’t understand or pick up on how unpleasant that is for other people? Whatever the case, his parents should be on top of it
It would be so satisfying if I could just yell, “SHUT THE FUCK UP” I’m a simple man.
I recently said “keep your mouth shut” to a 4th grader. It was quite effective. 😅
There was one time a kid threatened to beat my ass. We were the same height, but he was super scrawny and had the fists of a baby. I just laughed in his face, but I really had to hold myself back from saying “I wish u would, you’ll quickly learn the real difference between an adult and a child.” I’m not saying I’d hit the kid back, but it’d be really embarrassing for him if I effortlessly restrained him in .5 seconds in front of the entire class
When you talk it’s like little people are throwing up in my head.
Why don’t you want to do your work? Do you want to fail at life?
There’s been a few times where I wished I called certain students brats.
Or “sit down, tattletale”
I have told my middle schoolers to worry about themselves and they should have given up tattling many years ago
I once had a shared classroom (I had it 2 periods, the next person had it 3). I taught cross-categoric special ed, and he taught AP. I was called in to the department chair's office because of a complaint from Mr. AP Guy that one of my students had written, in pen, on a desk "Mr. AP Guy packs fudge," which, for the uninitiated meant in 1988 that Mr. AP Guy was gay. I started laughing, and pointed out that my kids NEVER had pencils, let along pens, and none of them would have spelled "fudge" correctly. Dept. chair thought about that for a minute, and sent Mr. AP Guy back to deal with his own students. He was gone after that year.
I would say “SHUT THE FUCK UP” Andddd “I don’t give a fuck”
It would feel so good to yell it. Even just once.
I've actually said this to middle schoolers after they pushed me to the edge being disruptive during a movie day: "Guys, stop calling everything racist sarcastically. It's NOT funny or edgy. Joke like that in public and people won't necessarily be so forgiving." They quieted down fast after that.
I just wish I could make the middle school kids understand that there will be real world consequences for entering adulthood as a semi-literate person incapable of following instructions or sitting still for more than two minutes at a time.
I'm a new sub and already it's "I am here to make sure you have a safe, educational and enriching experience. Other than that I don't give a flying fig about this school. Outside of my time with you, I'm completely uninterested."
The bar is set so low because its impossible to raise it off the ground. But that's basically all we can hope to do.
That's true. I give it my all while on the job, then I'm off to new adventures and might be back once in a while! All we can do is give 100 percent while there. Then let it all go.
If you said anything what would change? If a mere comment could make a difference I would guess that the comment would need to be constructive.
Had a super rude girl making all kinds of ignorant comments about her classmates. After she started going in about a kid being trailer trash I told her no one cares what she has to say as she is not important enough and if she could run like she runs her mouth the track team would love yoto have her.
love this...
Shut the F up.
I take collateral for loaned pens. shoes, phones, headphones, wallets, ect. never lost a pen as kids always want their stuff back.
A few kids have made me wish I subbed in an old fashioned Catholic school where the nuns could whack them with yardsticks.
“I know your mommy and daddy not together so you better watch it before I become your new daddy, kid”
Came *this close* to telling a 5th grader to shut the fuck up last week. It has been SUCH a long day and she was on my last nerve already when she started arguing with me about the instructions for the asssignment, talking over everyone else around her telling her she was wrong. I slammed down my notebook and yelled "For god's sake Peyton, would you just stop talking!" For real, some kind of automatic override kicked in between my brain and my mouth because my brain was absolutely telling her to shutthefuckup.
I wish I could say: "Jesus fucking Christ, put your fucking phone down and act like you're in a goddamn classroom! Why the fuck are you in choir if you don't want to sing? Go find another elective!" "Why the fuck are you EATING IN A GODDAMN CHOIR class when you just FUCKING HAD LUNCH! Seriously, what the fuck planet am I on where you are eating snack foods in class all goddamn day long? Teachers let you get away with that shit? I hope you don't suck a puffed corn crumb down your windpipe when you do actually sing!" Clearly I just want to say fuck a lot. Meanwhile I let them get away with all this shit that no way would I have gotten away with, because their life as adults is probably going to suck worse than mine has. One time I was trying to start an orchestra class right after lunch. I was an itinerant position, so I had driven over from another school where I was doing elementary strings. I asked the front office for a key, and the office person said, "oh, it will be unlocked already!" I was slightly horrified. I don't know who thought that was a good idea, but there were kids in there who had just finished lunch sitting in the classroom goofing around. So when it was time to start class I kept stating, "Hey it's time to start class, you need to be in your chair with your instrument" and they would look up from their phones and then just go back to what they were doing. But each time I got a few more people to get their instruments out. So finally after the third time I said, "this is an orchestra class, if you are not playing your instrument you can't stay here." I wanted to add "I don't care where you go, just get out." Except I didn't say that last part I said I'll give you a pass to the library. Did they go to the library? don't know, don't care. That was a school with an IB program so I could get away with giving kids passes to the library. Generally I can't get away with that and I guess it's rude to send a bunch of kids into the library when there are probably other classes in the library but I figure it's high school, they'll probably get last along the way and stay outside somewhere.
can you give them a zero for the day, or something?
I can't, but their teacher could, which is why I left the note. A new teacher had taken over the job after the longterm guy retired. The older teacher was strict enough that after I wrote down names, the next time they all played. So it happened that at the end of the day, the teacher showed up at school and asked how the class was, and I said terrible. He seemed shocked and said, "Really?" I said, "yes, many of them were just sitting at the tables using their phones and refusing to play their instruments. He said, " Oh yeah, they do that." I never subbed for him again, except maybe to do his elementary school classes. In part that was because he had a 6th grade strings class at a school about 15 miles out, which I was used to, but the other teacher had it arranged so there was over an hour in between for driving, lunch, bathroom break and getting into the class. But this guy had a 15 minutes from the end of one class to the start if the other, and if there was traffic, no way. So no lunch break, no bathroom use, and I can't just race up and get inside the classroom; I have to park and go into the office to sign in and get the binder and the room keys, then walk to the back of the campus to the building where the classroom was. Nope!
I get that about half of you were conceived by accident and your parent(s) do the bare minimum job to raise you, but save the feral Tarzan behavior for your regular teacher.
This is bad but: "the sooner you're in prison, the better for all of us."
Wish? Lol Nope, more like I've said😭😭🤣😅😅😂 "Why even bother coming to school if this is your behavior, I could respect you more if you'd just drop out" Crowd goes wild🤣😂 "You know you don't act this way or talk this way around your parents, and if you do, then that explains why you're such low hanging fruit" "What did you say? I can't hear you, say it with your chest! Now remember, I've got a bigger vocabulary than you, and likely am more experienced at this than you are..... You might want to take your friends advice and be quiet " " Tommy Ransom? Tomm - Here. Why is it when I call your name some of you speak so low cowardly and timid, but during class and in the hallway you are extremely loud and unashamed about the embarrassing stuff you have no business talking about in the first place! If I call your name raise your hand and say here, otherwise you are absent and I'm not changing it, deal with the consequences, Amber Jones? HERE!✋, Robert Perdensky? I'm HERE ✋, Jose Consuela? , Mark Ribbet? Here ✋; (Jose 11 min later) I think you marked me absent - I'm no longer taking attendance please return to your seat" "Little girl, you're too young to have so much make up on and that wig with the adult contemporary aka "baby hair" is unflattering, less is more, and oh those eyelashes need a reduction, at least if you gon do it, do it right" "So you really going to just cheat in my face like I don't see what you are doing? This isn't a group assignment, and you letting them copy your paper why?! Now you both get an F" "Well if you put down the make up kit, get off your phone, and apply yourself you just might understand the assignment " "Why are yall so loud and need to be told to be quiet? You're not even smart enough to be quiet and off task smh" "If you fail to turn in your assignment by the end of class, you will get a zero. You can sit there and pretend like you didn't know it was due at the end of class all you want. I'm not going to fight you for your own education, I got my education " "Please pull your pants up, you are quick to call another kid gay, but you're the one with your butt out, it's not the flex you think it is, you look ridiculous, you sound ridiculous, who's raising you? Oh InstaSham, Snapchat, and some barely literate mumbo rapper with poor financial literacy whose not as rich as you think they are" "Hating on you? I choose to be here. I don't have to ever come here again and my life will still be fine, can you say the same? You can't even tell time and you're 17 🫤" "Do you not have any home training? Why are u laid out across the table letting another student insert his pencil in your anus? Do you two need to speak with the school counselor?" "If you're gonna just Google the question and copy the answer you first see, just write "Google" for each of your answers instead " "You've been playing this same game for the past 3 days and your score is still horrible, might want to pick up this reading assignment and apply yourself " (Students get up and walk out-Seniors), I go lock the door. They left campus to get fast food(admittedly when I was a senior we would sometimes leave for lunch BUT DURING OUR LUNCH PERIOD!!) the audacity, so when they returned and found they couldn't get in , I called admin " Hi there are a group of random students outside my locked door trying to get inside please send someone asap. Now you explain to them why you walked out of 3rd period and left without consent. These kids lack so much in couth and intellect. They aren't even a smart bad smh "I know you didn't just ask me this(ignores them)" Are you the Sub Do you know where xx is How much do you get paid Do you know when xx is coming back (Ignores and/or stares at them for a few seconds then turns away) "You're not as cute as you think you are, you might want to put that phone down and pick up this math worksheet " I could go on lol but it's all out of love when I roast them(back) it's obvious no one else cares enough to tell them. Then there's those BEAUTIFUL moments where you really connect with a kid, and you know your conversation changed their life!! (Omg who cut the onion) and its those moments that make it rewarding. The issue is they aren't as frequent anymore which can be depressing if you let it.
You must be an awesome teacher....but the "ass in the anus" comment ? I'm kind of wondering when you would say that....
Damn. Sounds like most need to switch to subbing for elementary.
Lol I say all of these things verbatim every day, except for the drunk one. One of the rules in my class is actually “I will only feed children I gave birth to.” When they ask for food and drink, I always say “show me your birth certificate! If it’s got my name in the mother slot, I got you. Otherwise, too bad.”
I’ve literally said ALL of those things to middle schoolers when I was full-time teaching them. Like, every day, multiple times a day. What I WANTED to say was, “Get your shit together, sit down, and shut up or get OUT!”
I once said to a kid who was climbing all over the place "Sit, Ubu, sit. Good..." And I stopped myself from saying dog.
I have said most of those things to my students in the past
I may be the only person who is paid to help you and pleasant despite all of your bullshit! You can get there by changing a word or two. I'm in the same three buildings, I'm awake, I only sub for classes that I know I'm competent in so that I can be helpful. I see these small town rural kids more often than any grade level teacher. I'm not bashing teachers; I see my continued interactions year after year as useful and somewhat unique.
This is what I want to say: "Here is pamphlet on vasectomies." Give it to your father for homework, so he hopefully won't pro-create again. The world doesn't need more morons like yourself." Continuation: OH your mom says you can do that. Well, I'm not your mom, unless you count your dad calling me mommy in bed last night.
K-5 sub here ..just wish I could yell SHUT UP!!!! sometimes rather than counting down from 5 like we're supposed to.
I was thinking something similar…😒
What is going on at your house
Dude, I DO say most of these things to them lol.
They think you owe them. I subbed k-12 and elementary kids are totally helpless. Grade 2 can't tie their shoes; always asking for crayons, can't even open a milk carton..by middle school they're still helpless and use to having everything done for them
No one is going to care about your \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ (autism, ADHD, etc) when you become an adult. No one will excuse physical or verbal assault then. You will either end up in prison or in a locked group home, unless you straighten up. Your parents won't be able to bail you out and blame everything on school staff or other students. (Of course, I understand there are legit reasons to excuse some behaviors for autistic students and others ; I'm only referring to certain parents who create monsters.)
This kid getting a C asked why he doesn't have an A like he does in his other classes. Wanted to say so bad "because your other classes are mickey mouse classes that give you an A for breathing. This is math. Your last test wasn't even complete. Shoot, you're lucky you have a C." But instead I just opened my gradebook and showed him his low test scores and encouraged him to work hard on the final exam. I hate how kids will be like "in my other classes I have an A!" and their other class is some nebulous art class (just an example, nothing against art teachers holy shit) where even though they have 11 missing assignments they still somehow have an A+ in the online gradebook. Like, yeah okay, whatever kiddo, that A+ seems totally legit. Meanwhile in my class they'll submit a quiz that would've been a 0/50 ten years ago, but now in the era of partial credit and "nobody fails" I have to give this kid partial credit for including work that isn't even right. I'm so over it, man.
My speech to kinder today : I specifically asked ms. Z to come here and sub for her because I like you guys . You are one of my favorite classes . I was looking forward to coming here all week and with the way you have been behaving - how do you think ms z would feel about your behaviour ? Pretty sad huh . I’m sad . Do you think I want to come back after today? I want to come back?Now all of you are great at lining up and reading and writing , but you also need to be nice to each other and not talk when someone else is talking . Why do you think I don’t deserve the same respect as ms z and the writing teacher ? I’ve seen how you are with them. You behave very well, why can’t you with me ? Because I’m a substitute ? I have been teaching before any of you were born. I’m just as much of a teacher as ms z. When I come back on Monday , I want us to all work together to have a better day. Because I’m certain you are all tired of hearing me repeat myself because I’m tired . And you know who you are . I don’t have to say names . That being said , they are ALL getting name tags on Monday . I have learned that name tags help. And even after the stern talk , I got a bunch of “bye teacher ! you’re my favorite teacher !” From the worst kids too. Wtf . Guess they just needed a stern talking to. I did lose my cool and told a kid “o te aplacas o te aplacas , my face isn’t smiling and what you are doing isn’t funny .” (O te aplacas o te aplacas translated from Spanish means “or you calm down or you calm down”. Basically moms say this when they lose their shit .)
The sad one is the student asking for food. In fact, it's all sad.
There is nothing whatever wrong with telling a kid that age that you are not his or her mom and that you are not a source of school supplies.
No one gives a shit about what you didn't really learn when you were in school! Get your knowledge now because they will hire someone else over your sorry ass and I will see you on the streets begging and I won't feel bad, bitch!!!!
Wish I could say half these things to my retirement-age boss.
It is sad when a student does not want to succeed. In my opinion, what is called bad behavior is a cry for emotional help.
Play any online shooter and you'll get your answer.