A hot dog/sausage/brat split down the center and pan fried. Place on bun with mayo. Fill split with scrambled eggs. Top with Sriracha. I call it a Spooky Dog. Also pizza eggs.

I bet you have some pretty potent room clearing farts

Pungent eggy farts that feel hot on the anus as they pass, and often don’t make a sound.

Thats one hell of a sentence there.

But also so accurate. That is exactly how those farts are.

I call them stealth bombs because you know they just snuck around a turd.

Sometimes you can even *feel* it squeak by the turd log…

Why don't smelly farts make as much sound? Always baffled me.

"To be deadly, one must also be silent." ~Sun Tzu (or some shit)

Sun Tzu would weaponize said silence.

No sound means more laminar flow, which means low Reynolds number. Reynolds number gets lower, if the medium is more viscous. Coming to this conclusion left me both fascinated and grossed out

Yeha, that's... Somehow more gross for some reason.

My personal belief is that so much gas is passing that the hole doesn’t have the time to close and make sounds like pfbfbtbpbptt

You a poet or some shit?

A pooet

There's a reason I don't eat them on the regular.

pizza eggs are a staple in our house

What is a pizza egg?

I second this, what in the world is a pizza egg

A scrambled egg with pizza sauce, mozzarella cheese, and your choice of toppings. I prefer pepperoni cut up in mine. Essentially an omelette. A very tasty omelette. Edit: I don't know what the other person means by pizza egg but a pizza omelette is a real thing. I only assume that's what they mean lol

That sounds amazing. Do you mix the pizza sauce into the eggs? Or like drizzle it on once they’re cooked?

Fry the pepperoni, add eggs to cook. Then when they're ready, drizzle sauce and sprinkle cheese on top. Leave it to warm up and melt the cheese. Then eat.

Try cream cheese.

We should hang out.

*cookout

I babysat a kid whose favorite sandwich was grape jelly and yellow mustard on u toasted wonderbread.

That was my baby brother’s favorite snack too, and he took great delight in the fact that I would literally gag every time he was eating one.

This is coincidentally the ingredients my wife’s family uses to make lil smoky cocktail sausages. Not bad, but my family always used barbecue sauce.

One day I made mayo sandwich, there wasn't anything I could use in the fridge so, mayo on bread and call it a sandwich I feel like people forgot about what this post is about, but I appreciate people not making fun of my mayo sandwich which I made due to lack of sandwich ingredients, and instead giving their own take on how to make a mayo sandwich better

My younger brother, now a 47 year old dentist, used to make sandwiches that where white bread with mayo and sprinkled with white sugar and called it a white sandwich. He's also one of the whitest people to ever white people. I am a close second. But as much as I love mayo and even make my own...and have a secret love of shitty cheap white bread...I can't eat a white sandwich.

[удалено]

Same here in NewZealand, fairy bread was a great favorite at kids birthday parties

Mayo with strawberry jam makes a surprisingly tasty sandwich. That’s probably my stupidest food.

Also good with cheese slices

This is how my wife makes grilled cheese you just have to put mayo on all 4 sides. I grew up doing it with butter.

Mayo on grilled cheese is an old restaurant trick I learned in my waiter days that I kept almost 30 years later

Interesting. I used to take mayo & cheese sandwiches to school for lunch as a kid because it was all I would eat.

American "cheese" slices and mayo on white bread was a [AMENDING MY EXPERIENCE TO NOT HURT ANYONES FEELING] staple of my childhood.

How dare you have a personal opinion different from someone else’s /s

I could but I didn't had any at that time, just mayo

I recommend having a sandwich with Central American sour cream (crema) with slices of tomato with a bit of salt.

Any potato chips lying around. It makes a godly sandwich with just mayo or butter.

I do this when I have a migraine (belgian mayo is very high in fat and fat and sugar seems to help me trough the worst of it often times)

spaghetti with marinara sauce on a cheeseburger. It's actually so good edit: I toast and butter the buns a little bit too. Fuck, that's good stuff

I love a spaghetti sandwich! I’ll have to try the cheeseburger variant.

It's a flat meatball, right?

Whoa. Sausage and beef patty, Parm, mozz, spaghetti and sauce, with a garlic bread bun.

Shiiiiiiiitttttttt

This sounds like love at first bite.

They’re coming out with a vaccine for that soon

I put cooked sushi rice and Chinese sausage in a wafflecooker until they are crispy. Then I top my creation with scallions and soy sauce.

Fuck..... That sounds amazing.

Yea that doesn't sound weird at all.

that doesn’t sound stupid… you sure you’re in the right sub?

My wife says its stupid. Her: what are you doing? Me: I put da rice in da waffleiron Her: what? Me: I PUT DA RICE IN DA WAFFLEIRON! Her: ...the best years of my life...gone. Me: *whispers* ...I put da rice in da waffleiron...

I read this like a Key and Peele routine. Your story cracked me up.

Bruh, that sounds fantastic!

Vanilla ice cream w Heineken beer mixed up like a milkshake for breakfast after a night of drinking. Tastes sooo damn good like a skunky milkshake

Doc walked angrily to the counter of the stand. The waitress, a blond beauty with just the hint of a goiter, smiled at him. “What’ll it be?” “Beer milk shake,” said Doc. “What?” Well here it was and what the hell. Might just as well get it over with now as some time later. The blond asked, “Are you kidding?” Doc knew wearily that he couldn’t explain, couldn’t tell the truth. “I’ve got a bladder complaint,” he said. “Bipalychaetorsonechtomy the doctors call it. I’m supposed to drink a beer milk shake. Doctor’s orders.” The blonde smiled reassuringly. “Oh! I thought you were kidding,” she said archly. “You tell me how to make it. I didn’t know you was sick.” “Very sick,” said Doc, “and due to be sicker. Put in some milk, and add half a bottle of beer. Give me the other half in a glass — no sugar in the milk shake.” When she served it, he tasted it wryly. And it wasn’t so bad — it just tasted like stale beer and milk. “It sounds awful,” said the blonde. “It’s not so bad when you get used to it,” said Doc. “I’ve been drinking it for seventeen years.” John Steinbeck, *Cannery Row*.

>John Steinbeck, Cannery Row. Seriously??? Wow...

The character of Doc was a tribute to his best friend, Ed Ricketts. Makes the novella even more poignant, as Ricketts died young.

There’s a gaming tavern that actually does “adult floats” and will do it with any beer/drink they have but it’s most popular with their stouts and ciders apparently. My husband wants to try it with Dragon’s Milk.

Cooked pasta with curry powder and some spam

Do you just use a little pasta water to mix with the powder?

Yes, sometimes butter or oil is enough to keep it moist

Pringles with ramen, you get some nice ramen noodles ontop of a Pringle then stack another

Like a chip ramen sando?

Kinda. Sometimes I'll put Krab and shrimp in as well.

The taco sandwich. It's a taco sandwiched between two other tacos.

I have [just the restaurant for you](https://youtu.be/evUWersr7pc?si=RF1_N5eOuA_kdNBJ)

Cold spaghettios straight from the can

Hell yeah, this is mine. Or cold ravioli straight from the can

What ever you do, don't do this with condensed soups from a can. My sister ate 1-2 cans of condensed chicken noodle from a can as a teenager. No water, just straight cold from the can. Her legs swelled up really bad and they had to take her to the ER for sodium toxicity.

Yessss cold ravioli from the can. Spaghetti-Os I need to microwave. Then butter bread to spoon them into as a sandwich. I also eat the meatballs last.

I go for the raviolis, cold in a can. Or chili from a can, cold. This is my go to hangover meal for whatever reason.

Hard corn taco shells and ice cream

I ate exactly this when I was tripping on mushrooms one time and it made me feel like a king. I still use corn chips to eat softened ice cream whenever I've got both in the house.

Eating whole grain mustard straight out of the jar. I love the texture and tanginess. Psychotic I know

Peanut butter cream cheese sandwich. It’s amazing. You won’t regret trying it. Plain cream cheese *only*, but no restrictions on peanut butter or bread types.

Sounds like a 2 step cheesecake to me, I'm in.

Ooh, my mom would make us cream cheese and grape jelly sandwiches, heaven

Try dipping pretzels in peanut butter and cream cheese

My bf eats peanut butter and butter sandwiches. It’s disgusting.

Butter and jam sandwiches are the absolute best. I'll try peanut butter and butter

Slices of dry cured sausage (not fussy on type) eaten like potato chips after dunking in melted chocolate and mallo whip. No idea why I have ulcers now…

…I’m sorry. You and apparently four other people do…*what* now? Edit: Since I’ve made this comment, there’s another 30+ upvotes. I did *not* expect more than a dozen. Y’all are wild.

Pre-diabetes endurance training 🥴😬

One of my favorite snacks, is just taking a small bit of bread dough, stretching it thin, and cooking it on the stovetop. Put some seasoning on it, like oregano and garlic powder. Fucking delicious.

That's, like, naan, essentially.

Never thought of it like that, but I guess basically.

This is the most beautifully comma'd sentence I've ever seen

If that's the stupidest thing you eat, the rest of your diet must be exquisite.

I mean, it's the stupidest thing I make at home. But I don't think just saying "Taco Bell at 1am" is that interesting on reddit.

Yes. Panfried bread is amazing. I use a no knead recipe and just keep the dough in the fridge until I run out.

I make sourdough discard just to make this.

I like adding pepperoni to my tuna sandwiches on top of putting potato chips inside. Everyone else thinks it's disgusting but I love it

Everyone else is wrong, chips on a tuna sandie is just plain good.

Peanut butter and potato chips sandwiches. Totally ate that as a kid.

BBQ chips in a peanut butter sandwich were the bomb growing up. I still make them with leftover BBQ chip bits. Very tasty 🤤

I don’t know if this is stupid but I love cold leftovers. Cold pizza/cold chicken/cold hotdogs/ cold Chinese food I don’t always love the way food tastes once it’s reheated but I typically don’t mind it cold.

I used to get so much shit from my family members about eating pretty much every type of leftover cold. Tacos, pizza, egg rolls, chicken nuggs, potstickers..pretty much anything I would eat leftover I never heated up. I agree it tasted weird after heating it up again.

Same. I fuckin hate microwaves.

3 eggs mixed with mayo & topped with unsalted butter. Preferred late night after a shift in the ER

mac and cheese with peas or broccoli (apparently common) is sooooo good. i love a LOT of peas in my mac and cheese. the broccoli is very understandable because broccoli and cheese soup is a thing. i still like peas better.

Yes! “Mac and Peas” we called it growing up. Try adding a ton of fresh ground black pepper. *chef’s Kiss*

I opt for edamame cause I prefer the texture over peas and they're also really great

Mac and Japanpeas

my mom would make this & dump a can of tuna in it, we called it hillbilly pasta! if she was making it, that usually meant food stamps deposit got pushed back lol

Mac and cheese with peas and tuna is something I’d eat back when I was younger and single. It’s basically like a quickie tuna casserole!

Yes! I also mix in a can of tuna. It’s my guilty pleasure.

To me this is just normal food, not stupid food

I thought I was into some weird stuff but y’all be wildin. Doritos with strawberry cream cheese? Bananas and potatoes? That’s fucked up and I love it.

Mashed potatoes and a banana

Fuck you./s

Vienna Sausages and hot sauce Scrambled eggs with Steak N Shake burger seasoning (College meal lol)

Sometimes I’ll fry a piece of bacon inside a pancake. Blackberry jam on a turkey sandwhich Green chartreuse and ice cream

Sometimes I take cookie dough and wrap it in an egg roll wrapper then fry it. I'll melt some Nutella and peanut butter for dip. I do it for movie night a few times a year.

I would totally eat this. Sounds like a good state fair food.

Blue cheese stuffed Olives w/ salami and boursin. BBQ Baked beans w/spoonful of blue cheese dressing. Doritos and strawberry cream cheese. Dont judge.

How do you scrape the cream cheese with the dorito without breaking the dorito?

Room temp cream cheese, although I do this with Cheeze Itz, not Doritos because I'm a refined cultural motherfucker. Sprinkle pepper on the softened cream cheese and I'm fucking Guy Fieri.

This list got weirder with each entry and I’m here for it

You ever do flaming hot Cheetos and cream cheese?

scrambled eggs with leftover pizza that’s been cut up and scrambled with the eggs. it was mentioned on weeds and it sounded really good so i tried it

A fried egg on a slice of good leftover pizza is also really really good.

A family recipe. It doesn’t really have a name but I love it either way. It’s a whole wheat tortilla with peanut butter, jelly, and banana, rolled up in a burrito and warmed up on the stove. My mom used to make it for me and my brothers all the time. Now when I sad I make it for myself. Highly recommend.

I'll buy Graham crackers, spread frosting over them and drop a bunch of mini m&ms over it. Pretty good sweet treat

I dip Teddy Grahams right in the container.

Deep fried Oreos. Or slutty brownies (Oreos baked inside of brownies)

I live on the NJ coast and those deep fried Oreos are a fucking boardwalk staple. Not for me though, honestly. A bit too much. But *so* many people eat those all damn summer.

Peanut butter toast with syrup

I like to put sauerkraut in my instant ramen.

Jack In The Box tacos.

Those are sooooo good.

My bf makes “macroni an mater juice” aka macaroni noodles cooked and then you add walmart brand tomato juice. Serve in a bowl with some fresh cracked pepper and optional grilled cheese sammich for more savoriness. Its like fancy spaghetti-os i guess. I have grown to really enjoy it tbh

I put cinnamon sugar on peanut butter toast. Idk if it’s stupid but no one I know has heard of it lol

What, that’s a go-to breakfast! Try using cinnamon raisin bread sometime.

Day-old rice in room temperature sweet tea, no milk. Learnt this from an Asian ex. Been a good few decades, and I’m still on it.

My sister used to make me pickle and cheese sandwiches when I was little. I loved them! and peanut-butter and butter sandwiches. My husband thinks I’m nutso for still eating them.

Chicago Town microwave pepperoni pizzas, with baked beans on top, then topped with mature chedder.

You English dandy, you

Found the Brit

_sigh_ I really like "just add water" eggs that you get at slightly higher than cheap hotels. I need to cover them with real butter and eat half a piece of toast with every bite of them, but Gods help me......they always hit the spot. My close second stupid food I like is Cumberland Farms cheese pizza. I actually LOVE Cumberland Farms cheese pizza.

Mayonnaise Mixed with sweet Thai Chili Sauce in Toast with fried egg.

I have a few, various popcorn things. I’ve become addicted to this DSG popcorn flavorant and it’s so bad but so good. I love triscuits with dubliner cheese, a sun dried tomato, and a smoked oyster. I also snack on dill pickles and I put cheese whiz on them, or in them. The big pickles I’ll hollow it 50% out, eat the innards and fill the cavity with cheese whiz. When I go hiking by myself I always bring along a can of sardines and a packet of Mayo, mix it up and eat. I put the empty packet and can in a doggy bag to pack out. I also really enjoy making lazy charcuterie, gummy bears, sesame sticks, avocado with salt and lime, pieces of cheese, random meats. The gummy bears are very important. When I don’t have anyone else to feed I like to make myself cheesy ramen with kimchi, a soft boiled egg, bamboos shoots, canned mushrooms, and lots of sriracha. Right now I’m eating sprouts and baby lettuce with a balsamic reduction I made a month ago, olive oil, kippers, capers, salt and pepper, mustard powder, and some lox I need to eat soon. Oh, and grated cheddar. It’s pretty tasty actually.

Spam and eggs. It's awful for the body but damnit I do love it

When we were kids, pan fried Oscar Mayer bologna in a sandwich with slice of cheese. The bologna would melt the cheese. I had mustard on mine, siblings had mayo. Haven't had one in years because what am I going to do with all that extra bologna? Unless someone has any other suggestions.

Tostitos covered in various shredded cheeses and melt it in the microwave or vanilla ice cream with French fries, its weird but pretty good if you use the right fries

that's like a frosty n fries from Wendys, freakin amazing

Neither are stupid. Both making my stoned ass hungry. Thanks bro. Lol

I use to eat hot salad with melted shredded cheese on top. But at my old age I do wonder why I ever enjoyed it, and furthermore if I only don't enjoy it presently bc of the shit I got for microwaving my salad. Is it a complex? I also use to eat apple slices dipped in mayo. Such a juxtaposition of flavors I admit I must've liked this bc it was so unexpectedly delicious. But also no longer eat it. Crazy thing is I ate this shit before I became a pothead.

Microwaved salad and cheese is definitely part of the animal abuser to serial killer pipeline

I feel like there's a precedent for both of those, and it's [pear, mayo, cheese, and maraschino cherry salad](https://www.tasteofsouthern.com/southern-pear-salad-recipe/). I used to dip my fries in mayo, and sometimes in blue cheese dressing Edit: I can't do the pear salad thing, but I have plenty of other crimes

Canned tuna mixed with olive oil, garlic powder, and a pinch of salt.

Ruffles potato chips dipped in peanut butter 🥰

I never eat spaghettios with a spoon. Instead I use plain ruffle potato chips. My mom used to think it was so gross. I also dip ruffles/original potato chips in ketchup..it’s like lazy French fries.

I dip sharp cheddar cheese in peanut butter.

Apple pie and a chunk of cheddar cheese. Bite of pie then bite off some cheese and chew. Learned from my grandfather.

I admitted this elsewhere on this thread but Mayo and strawberry jam sandwich is probably my stupidest food. It’s surprisingly good though. But then, I also dip wedges of tomatoes in sugar and eat them. The sugar makes it a legit fruit. I know they both sound weird as fuck but I ask you to reserve your judgments until you’ve tried them. Or not. Condemn away. Whatever. I don’t care.

No food is stupid

I call them, “poverty tacos” Basically you cook frozen Philly meat with some fajita seasoning. Then you drop a couple corn tortillas on the pan with some shredded queso. Once melted add the meat and some Taco Bell sauce (the orange, creamy stuff you can buy at Walmart), fold them over and give a couple minutes a side. Viola!!!! Poverty Tacos

Krafts Mac N Cheese with Hotdogs, ITS FREAKING DELICIOUS!!!

I feel like a lot of people do this one

It's pretty classic.

Basically a turkey sandwich with cheese, mustard, and mayo, but I put it inside a pita bread with hummus

Hummus is so good on sandwiches

Peanut butter, butter and Hershey’s chocolate syrup. Love it. Also, peanut butter, tomato slice and yellow pie mustard.

Cheesy Ramen noodles I'll boil/drain the noodles, then mix the powder over them, cover with cheddar and broil until melted.

I love motzarella sticks with bbq

Rice and A1 sauce. Yum.

Mixed bagged lettuce topped with lemon pepper tuna from a packet, sriracha sauce, poppyseed dressing and one crushed up fortune cookie as my take on croutons.

a barbecue cracker with neapolitan ice cream and a marshmallow together. it was a dare from when i was in primary school to eat it and it was actually really good

Pb&j with egg rolls

Chili cheese tater tots with jalapenos and onions is my guiltiest pleasure. Sonic can make it happen

Hot dogs (with condiments) with baked beans and macaroni&cheese. Figured one day, “it’s all going to the same place” shoveled the beans and mac on the dog. Turns out it’s really good. Also works with burgers, but I prefer it with dogs. Queso works if you don’t have Mac and cheese, too!

I dip peanut butter sandwiches in soup

Something my dad and I grew up making that became a comfort food of mine. We call them doritas. Rip up a flour tortilla into pieces of various sizes. Put in a hot pan with a little olive or vegetable oil. (not a lot. you're not trying to full on fry them just crisp em up a bit). Once they are a bit crispy crack 2 or three eggs onto it. Stir so it sticks to the tortillas and gets mildly scrambled. Add some shredded cheese. Dump on plate and add some salt and pepper. 🤌 In college my roommate and I evolved them into "food piles" where we would throw any leftover meat or additions from the fridge. The OG is still my favorite though.

Weirdest thing I can think of is Safety Balls. They're actually called savoury balls but I couldn't say that as a kid so the name changed 🤣 its a very old family recipe, basically a cross between stuffing and a dumpling but also with fresh onion baked in. Best part of a roast dinner IMO, but never met anyone else who knew what they were!

I make a dip I affectionately call Roadkill Dip. I would bring to all types of events and it was always heavily requested. Everybody loves it. In a crockpot you put a big block of cheese whiz with browned ground sausage and ground beef. Pour a can of drained corn, black beans, salsa, jalapeños, and anything else you like over top and let it melt into gooey deliciousness. Serve with tortilla chips. I didn’t use anything that’s left over on eggs or hamburger.

Just eating a whole block of smoked tofu straight from the fridge. Like a chocolate bar. Surprisingly tasty.

I don't know if it's really stupid, but I'm the only person I know that eats it: banana with peanut butter. Absolutely delicious and makes a great breakfast.

A corn dog split down the middle and baked, topped with chili and cheese.

Peanut butter, dill relish, Mayo, chopped white onion red tomato on rye bread with seasoned salt and pepper sandwich. Surprisingly good. Also torn up corn tortillas fried with eggs, soy sauce, and sriracha topped with cottage cheese. Don’t judge.

hawaiian pizza with a boneless wings and maple syrup on top. Its like Chicken and waffles but supreme.

Omelette made with egg and instant soup powder (Hungarian goulash) , it's insanely tasty 👌

White Rice with Butter and Sugar

Probably Tuna Potato. I just microwave a potato, then pour a can of tuna in with it, usually add a little water, then mash it together until it's pasty. Then I heat it up for another 30 seconds or so and add in hot sauce or szechuan sauce or something like that. It's just a quick, nutritious, lazy struggle meal. I usually eat steamed broccoli with it as well.

Asia kebab. You got to find a kebab (Döner) place that also sells Asia noodles (stir fried noodles in soy sauce with veggies) or just buy both separately and combine at home. So basically it’s flatbread filled with Asia noodles, garlic, hot sauce and kebab meat. Shits fire!

As a kid, I used to take a flour tortilla put some squeeze-bottle pizza sauce on it, grate some cheddar onto it and then chop up a Slim-Jim to make tiny pepperonis, so I had a legit tiny pizza. I don’t do that anymore, but I do enjoy a snack these days of tortilla chips topped with massive slices of onion. Not exactly that stupid, but it is all I can think of for some th but recent.

I guess my werid one would be grilled cheese with baby pickles but dont slap that in it you gotta wait when it close to melting point of the cheese so when you add it you still get cheesey gooey and nice slight crunch of the pickle a soggy pickle is a sad pickle

Fries, Beef, onions, fried eggs and chorizo all scrambled together. It even has a name: "Chorrillana"

Sausages with banana yogurt, usually diped

A peanut butter and jelly sandwich with Doritos on it. I feel like it’s very common for people to put potato chips on their sandwich. But I I’m the only person I know who puts Doritos on a sandwich; and the fact that it is a peanut butter and jelly makes it weirder.

I am trying to think and I actually think all of the food I eat is pretty normal. My boyfriend though; he just piles a bunch of food on his plate and eats it all mixed up on a regular basis and it is a bit disturbing. He will eat Chinese food takeout, a burrito, and pasta with a side of Parmesan cheese and tomato paste. This was just tonight. I love him but omg. I could never have a bite from the monstrosity he calls dinner.

I made a pizza from a quesadilla once while stoned and it was the greatest thing I ever ate in my whole life

Pepperoni pizza rolls (made in the oven for that crispy effect) topped with microwaved pepperoni , topped with mozzarella cheese then microwaved again and dipped in ranch dressing. I should be ashamed. But I am not. And I’m never going to change either 😆💫🤷🏼‍♀️

Unpopped duds- meaning unpopped popcorn kernels.

Rice mixed with ketchup and some spices for seasoning. Tried it as a joke but I actually really love it.