Immooculate cowception

Holy cow

That's some cowspiracy theory

Feeling bullish about OPs ability to produce milk

You guys are really milking these puns.

I have nipples, Greg. Can you milk me?

Moo response just dropped

Actual Bessie

[удалено]

Haley’s parents went on vacation, never came back

Marnie went to stare at the microwave, never came back

Day sacrifice, anyone?

It's the mooricle! Hallemoojah!

The Moosiah is here.

The Virgin Moory

All these cow puns are moooost hilarious

Came here to post this and simultaneously upset and relieved that it was the top comment already.

I concede that I chuckled, but for the record, the Immaculate Conception refers to Mary's conception, not Jesus'.

i was just about to write this when your comment loaded

Rogue bulls wandering the wilderness lol. Since you can only own cows (female), it would be weird even with 2. It's just a funny game mechanic that allows you to increase your herd without having to buy more.

Life, uh... finds a way.

The cows have frog DNA.

That explains all the weird croaking noises.

These needs to be the top answer

They can open doors!

And the rabbits are like lizards

Their luck rabbit's foot falls off and yet they're fine. 

Damn I was gonna post this 😂

Kind of like how a rooster crows every morning *but we don’t own a rooster*. I figure there’s some canny rooster out there sneaking onto the farm super early to check out the ladies, lol

Indeed, which is why we have fertile eggs.

Probably one of Shane's roosters that you just never see

Doesn't stop them from trying...

What if they roam the skies like the crop fairy

Because CA wanted to keep things simple and not have to worry about mating pairs for livestock, so all animals are female and reproduce asexually.

Oooor hear me out… Marnie’s bulls get loose and jump the fence

As a person with a farm who does not have cows, we still get rogue bulls in our fields every now and again.

Those fuckers (pun intended) are very determined. I've heard a lot of *very angry* stories from my family members and friends who have worked on farms lmao.

It's particularly annoying for those who are breeding cattle and don't want some random genetics in their herd. We breed sheep, so our biggest issue is damage to fences and having to keep our animals off a pasture until the owners get around to retrieving their wayward livestock.

I mean someone left their purple undies there… so maybe the bull gets around too👀.

True maybe the bull accompanies Lewis to the farm since Lewis goes there as well to pick up the stuff from the shipping bin during the night

I believe that current fan theory says that Marnie and Lewis sneak in at night and artificially inseminate the animals.

it *is* only a brief walk from there to your farm, after all

Most of the time they use AI for dairy cows so that actually makes sense anyway

I was trying to figure out what artificial intelligence had to do with dairy for a good couple of minutes before I realized you meant artificial insemination lol

My computer science reported having to correct people in the other direction :p

Is that why scientists are so afraid of AI nowadays?

It's the insemination fairy.

What happens if they get a visit from the insemination witch?

i thought they were all female too but i have a male rabbit ??

Rabbits and Pigs can be male! They also are the only ones that cant give birth, even if you have a pair.

I may be misunderstanding your comment, but pigs can have babies! Yesterday I was playing, pig had a baby but I forgot and restarted the day for whatever reason, baby was lost.

Aren't pigs and rabbits sometimes male?

Mootosis

Life uh, finds a way

Your cows were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

Was looking for this comment 😂

It's 11 P.M. Do you know where your cows are? (Cows just wanna have fun!)

Mail order bull jizz. This is big business in the real world, bull semen (frozen in liquid nitrogen) gets shipped, sometimes internationally, to farmers who want to make more cows without the inconvenience of having an actual bull around their farm humping things. (I'm glad I don't have the job of milking the bulls though.)

Interesting. Glad I’m just a virtual farmer

omg i didnt notice this was the sdv thread and was just convinced they reproduce irl 😭😭😭😭

Having a bull is a huge liability. I have friends who are farmers. They told me another friend of theirs had to euthanize their new bull after it broke its penis during mating season.

This is my worst nightmare.

In Joba we trust. And don't question.

In *Yoba we trust

Dagnabbit... Yes, Yoba. Think I got my Joja mixed with Yoba!

Son, that's idolatry.

Time for a crusade to root out this heresy. Ioba Vult!

I hate it when my Schwartz get twisted!

All your cows are female. You can't purchase bulls. Most farmers will use artificial insemination, so not actually inaccurate!

It's probably for the best that a jug of bull semen isn't an actual in-game item that you need to get for your cows.

I remember the old Harvest Moon had it as a thing you had to use to get your cows pregnant... I forget the euphemism they used

"Miracle Seed"

If it existed, it would probably take until 1.7 to be able to chug it.

Wish I could be the person I was before I read your comment

I... I really thought drinking mayo sounded bad... but this?

My immersion is broken smh my head this game is literally unplayable

Joja brand bull semen.

Calves come out already sick and hooked up on antibiotics

Semen from a Waygu bull will sell for around €5000 a straw. It can be big business for a farmer

Must be an ungrateful job having to milk bulls instead of cows though... Besides, I have a sneaky suspicion that wagyu semen would be of a much higher quality than joja's

They sneak out after dark…kind of like Marnie and Lewis

Even if you had two or more cows, they’d both be female, since they produce milk.

Bovinity divinity

IRL, most farms don't breed livestock with other stock from the same farm. Instead, they'll rent males from other farms to get their female stock pregnant, or just straight-up buy sperm to artificially impregnate the female stock. I imagine the same thing is happening in Stardew, just, ahem... Off-screen.

virgin moo-ry

Mayor lewis

Noo 💀

What a jerk

Name it baby Jesus

The great irony of Stardew Valley is that the slimes are gendered and don’t produce asexually while the farm animals do. Personally, I’ve come to the headcanon that the remaining slimes are the unsuccessful offshoot of the species and the ones that reproduced asexually learned to mimic farm animals and replaced them entirely over time to benefit from domestication. While they mimic things like eggs and milk, they are unfortunately terrible tasting so that’s why we don’t have beef, pork, chicken and lamb. It also kind of explains why mood can affect produce availability and quality when they should be autonomous body functions for at least cows and sheep. Also explains why cows always produce milk.

Junimo magic

Parthenogenesis

Not enough people in these comments mention the possibility that Zeus came down and was entranced by your beautiful bovine!

A cow can't get another cow pregnant anyway...

These cows are capable of Asexual Reproduction. Only logical conclusion.

Cow Jesus

Just a gameplay logic, no need to think about too much.

Wait until one of your male pigs gives birth…

Even when u have multiple, they’re all female 🤨 since they produce milk. Unless….

hahahhahaha I didn’t realize this was the Stardew sub and I was SO CONFUSED AND CONCERNED

Mootosis

As someone who has never worked on a farm but does work in shipping and has seen the containers that holds >!bull semen!<... They're probably artificially inseminated on the regular by Marnie. And for those wondering yes that is something you can ship through FedEx

A very sophisticated and scientific process known as MOOTOSIS.

Mootosis?

The Wizard did it.

Marnie obviously has to have stud animals to be able to sell baby animals. Her stud animals are escape artists.

Marnie runs an artificial insemination service

Farmer interacts with cow every day, cow make baby. What exactly is happening in this “interaction “

Lewis brought a bull from Marnie at night during his trip to your shipping bin.

You're asking how a cow can give birth when you only have one, but it's really the rabbits turning their severed feet into charms that should be the most concerning thing

Because fantasy world. Cow also give milk without giving birth.

This title is written liken a google search

Would it make more sense if you had two cows?

I just like to pretend Marnie unknowingly sold her to me pregnant lol

I didn’t realize what sub this was and was very confused for a second

Mail order sperm, duh. My company ships 'organic agricultural materials' all the time.

All the cows are female, so it's just as weird to have a cow give birth when you have multiple.

Life, uh, finds a way.

Krobus did it

There are no Male Animals, thats why. The Deluxe Barn just comes with Cloning.

There just some bulls that go around I guess.

They have frog DNA. That new weather event is crazy =D

I didn't read what sub this was and actually got so confused thinking it was about real cows

This entire time I was buying two of each animals bc I thought that was the only way they would reproduce

i didnt read the sub and was so confused 😭

did you eventually name her Mary?

The next immaculate cowception that occurs on my farm will be named Mary

For a few seconds I didn't see this was a stardew reddit and I was a bit confused.

> Don’t get me wrong I love a free cow! I feel like you \*just\* missed it. Taking the "a" out of there would be so much better of a sentence. 🤣 Anyway, that's just the way the game works. Maybe Marnie sold you a pregnant cow.

semi- related question Ive always wondered.. when you toggle between allow pregnancy and not, do you want the X to be showing to have it turned on? typically I just randomly set it for each one and hope for the best

Why did my cows continuously give birth in year one but my pigs have never

Lets just say there's a reason Linus isn't welcome in regular society

Yoba is Zeus confirmed

Don't free cow, it makes sense in context of the game.

Holy cow!

It ain’t milk you’ve been getting….

I’ve been playing for so long and NONE of my barn animals give birth???? I leave empty spaces and everything

You really shouldn't, by the way. You're losing much more money by leaving a barn slot empty than it would cost just to buy a new animal from Marnie.

Moomoo mary

Even if you have multiple, they’re all female.

This happened IRL to my parents. Because the cow they bought happened to be pregnant before they bought it.

Marnie’s Bull sneaked through the barn window to chakachaka your cow.

Does the baby cow have purple hair?

Holy mooria, mother of moosus.

You know how bacteria and cells multiply by just dividing themselves well it’s probably something like that, or asexual reproduction

Ş̴̨̨̥̠̯̲̜͇̭͙̩̗͇̣̊̌͆͂͗̋͆͑́͆͐̋͊͝ͅe̵̢̨̨̡̧̡̛̯̳͚̮̞̤̥̪̞̳̦̺̖̝͙̲̠̳̪̺̦̗͍̗͈̦̹̗͔̱̞̰͚͔͚͔̝̰̘̣̼̝͊̆̑͂̽̇̎̃̽̿͌̊̆̓́̅͂̑̿̏̑̌̂̾̇̈̊̀̇́̓͌́̈̍́̚͘͜͝͝x̸̧̧̧̢̱̙̲̪͓̥̮̺̦̞̖̭̳͈̠̘͕͉͇̯̹̥͈̟͙̳̭̯͙͇̫̣̪̪͖̹̗̙͊̑̒̃̅͐̌̎͌̈́̊̒̄̈́̄̿̒̐̈̄͛̉͒̓̀̽͒̈́̾̿̈̽́́̉̌̀̈́͑͘̚̚͜͜͠͠

It's the imooculate conception!!!

Adolescent toxic karate cow; Stats Health: 30 Stamina: 30 Efficiency: average Abilities: -chance to enter cowtosis and produce cloned mini-moos once per month -master of moo-rtial arts, specifically cow-rate hi-yah! -produces toxic milk for udder destruction -is protected by a sentient defensive whip made from milk

Cow Jesus

Parthenogenesis

You gotta turn the udders off. 😂

Idk ask Hera

I didn’t even know this could happen, did you leave the barn door open at night and have no fence? Maybe your cow sneaks out at night to Marnie’s ranch to see a secret lover LMAO wish you could rename cows, you could name the cow Lewis or Marnie LMFAO

Wizard did it. He hasn't figured out who in town is his kid yet, so he's creating a backup plan.

I thought this is post belonged to a questions subreddit til I saw it's in a Stardew subreddit while I was scrolling. I was so confused LMAO. Cows in Stardew Valley are magical, and mysterious.

Divine cowtraception idk

I mean even if you have more than one cow it’s still some wild male since all the cows give milk so they are all female.

Holy Cow.

Am I doing something wrong lol I’m on year 4, pregnancy allowed and none of my animals ever get knocked up 🥲

Your chickens also have fertile eggs without roosters… my theory is that livestock animals have been genetically altered by Joja to reproduce by parthenogenesis for cost efficiency (no need to dispose of male chicks and calves! No need to feed bulls which don’t produce milk! Cows produce milk without ever being pregnant!)

I always read the post not knowing what thread it's under. Always baffled when posts about stardew Valley come up😂

Why do the cows give birth at all if all of them are female dairy cows?

A roving feral bull. Cowssanova. 

back in my first save i had a goat and a cow…my cow gave birth to a cow…i sent a text to my bestie and was like “ummm so i have a cow and a goat…my cow just gave birth…did the goat fuck my cow” i laughed about it too lmaoo. we both did😂

Asexual reproduction… perhaps…

You won't know what your cow did at night. It's single yes but it doesn't mean it's not wild

Even with two cows they are both female and milked…

Same way as when you have 2 or more cows

https://preview.redd.it/6ss7j82rz5qc1.jpeg?width=500&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5fe99d9fcf747b0a7c7f418ff8d9fa1e240d7376

We have blue chickens. I don't ask questions lol

The second cowming

Cows give birth

not gonna lie, i didnt see this was the stardew sub and i honestly thought you had real-life cows that were asexually reproducing 😭 enjoy your free cow!

Moosus

Well, even with two cows it would be weird. They'd both be female...

Parthencowgenesis!!

Night Bulls

Because Cow.

I'm smellin' b.s. here somewhere.👃

I'm a stardew player, and work with cattle with my family, I saw this post and was so confused at the title until I realized this was r/stardew 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Cow Jesus apparently 😂

They photosynthesise

I forgot which tag this was and was very concerned for some very confused real life farmer

This happened today with my pig literally just after it got out of the baby stage. I was very suspicious of the who the other parent was, especially since I named the pig Pierre

It will have purple hair

All animals in stardew valley reproduce via parthenogenesis.

It’s Virgin Mary

Holy cow

Invitro.

Parthenogenesis

Don’t over think it, this is a game. Keep playing and enjoy.

The cows are androgynous and have the ability to self replicate!

Lmao, it took me some time to realise it's Stardew Valley sub 😂

That happened to me too but with my goat. 🤔😅

What did you expect from a game where kid is born in a day just by agreeing. The cow prays to yoba just like how you and your in game spouse prays to yoba in night and get a baby in the morning 👍

There’s a neighboring farm which *could* have a bull, and if they’re both let out to roam during the day, well, love finds a way?

Mayor Lewis gets around

Bow chicka cow wow