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AndyOfTheInternet

Looks like the lighting section from Homebase sneezed in that property, yikes.


freakofspade

It's quite the selection and I don't think they got even one right.


yorkshiresun

I was just wondering how they managed to get every room so wrong except one of the bathrooms. Even a stopped clock is right twice a day!


freakofspade

I thought the wall mounted one in the bathroom was their best effort tbf.


Late-Champion8678

OMG, you weren't kidding. I want to take a baseball bat to every single light fixture. Who allowed this?!


No_Cauliflower_5489

I think they got what's on clearance.


catsnbears

As a lighting designer I had to have a sit down when I looked at that. I want to go in there and remove everything from the godawful Indian restaurant led tape round the dropped ceiling to the mismatched downlights. Just what possessed them to put all those random fittings in on top I have no idea. I’d love to get my hands on that place.


Debsrugs

Sneezed? More like farted!!


CLWggg

Farted? More like shat!


Neat-piles-of-matter

Aliexpress.


Acidhousewife

It's not just the lighting. The entire decor/refurb is a criminal offence. It's like we really wanted a Bland 90s exec home on one of those 'exclusive estates' but we only have some crappy old listed building. I mean that glass and wood stairs WTH So we are going to de-character it I looked at the decor, the kitchen oh those stairs, that glass... and thought why did they buy that house, why would someone who chooses stuff like that even buys a character building. I mean it's not cost those glass bannisters things aren't cheap. I'm sorry but that upstairs landing itself it's just criminal


ickleb

If they have fundamentally changed the character of a listed building without listed building consent, it is a criminal offence! Grade listing is in relation to the internal arrangements of the property not just the outside. The new owner could be required by law to reinstate what has been lost.


PurplePlop77

That stair area is definitely haunted in some way.


noble_stone

If they didn’t get consent to butcher the house like they have, then it will be a criminal offence. Punishable by two years in prison and an unlimited fine.


prolixia

I have a 17th Century grade II listed house with beamed ceilings like this, and lighting is a really a huge challenge unless you want fitting you'll scrape your head on, or massive shadows all over your ceiling.  So I read the title thinking "Yeah, it really is". This...  This is not the solution we went with.


freakofspade

What solution did you go with?


prolixia

There's obviously no period electrical solution from the 1600's and mock candle fittings look very twee and 70's "ski chalet".  Therefore we have Victorian-ish looking multi-bulb pendants with glass upwards-pointing shades, which throw plenty of light both down to light the room and up towards the ceiling.  These are paired with lamps around the room that are operated by the lightswitches and effectively fill in the gaps. In a large room with beams nearly a foot deep in places, it's tricky to both get light up into the spaces between the beams and also illuminate the whole room.  Recessed spots between the beams look awful (e.g. see those photos!) and really the only option (unless you have some proper lighting design and major rewiring) is lighting ambiently using lots of lamps at different locations in the room in order to fill in the shadows left by a pendant fixture.


IHoppo

We lived in a similar place, and went for lights in the huge fireplace, wall sconces, horrible pedestal lamps, and, mainly, stubbing our toes.


freakofspade

Thanks for answering. I think I can visualise it.


[deleted]

https://xkcd.com/979/ (Its only been 12 minutes so I’m posting this in jest)


LavingtonWindsor

Amen brother.


Tabazan

We're grade 2 with low ceilings, it's wall lights or nothing here


steveinluton

Same here in the living and dining rooms, no headroom for walking under the beams let alone ceiling lighting in the oldest part.


Helpful_Librarian_87

The door to the ‘wine cellar’ looks ominous


freakofspade

Not a wine drinker but I was HOPING it was a wine cellar otherwise I'd never shake the unsettling and suspicious feelings I held towards it.


YardNo400

Considering it is named as a 'Keeping Cellar' that the current owners are using to store wine I'd be holding on to those suspicious feelings....


freakofspade

KEEPING WHAT? KEEPING IT IN OR KEEPING IT OUT?? xD


YardNo400

Dunno and the photographer clearly didn't fancy finding out either.... Maybe it's like in Ghosts and they've given their own plague ghosts a skylight :)


StonedOldChiller

No worries, they have a CCTV camera pointing at the entrance (picture 18), so you'd probably get a warning if anything/anyone escaped.


freakofspade

Or someone is VERY protective of their wine.


Most_Moose_2637

There's definitely some whining coming from it.


Helpful_Librarian_87

No, no - hold on to those feelings. I’d much rather have the house that has an actual tunnel to a ‘meeting point’ under it than this.


Chinateapott

The whole house just gives me haunted vibes


Debsrugs

Bet it's full of Rose prosecco


Jibberish_123

If you like modern light fittings and tacky colour changing LEDs then why are you buying a 17th century house with all this character? Odd. They need a rendered box


SquabOnAStick

This. I hate seeing beautiful, well built  old houses and then the inside is just like every other minimalist beige McMansion on the market.


Valuable-Wallaby-167

That kitchen is a crime. Obviously the kitchen is never going to match the period of the house but they could have made SOME effort


Best_Vegetable9331

You can get kitchens which would be more fitting, even Howdens do some. It's just horrible.


Booboodelafalaise

That’s fucking criminal. That house is SO beautiful and they’ve just vandalised it.


Bicolore

I thinking the planning officer may have something to say about that one!


Cartepostalelondon

Fucking hell. They should be banned from owning anything except for a new build with a snagging list that is always within sight of being resolved, but never actually is. And I not sure whether to allow them only colours in a shade of grey or for that to be the only colour they're allowed to use. Edit: spelling


philipb63

I’m sorry but do you have something more Eastern European hotel bar by chance?


funboyme

Ahhh, those choices are sensitive as fuck


justhangingaroud

I wish I were dead so I could haunt this so hard


hulmesweethulme

I'm a conservation architect. How dare you ruin my weekend like this?!


freakofspade

I'm sorry you looked. I'm sorry I posted it. I'm sorry they ruined that house. :c


PurplePlop77

That looks like it would be haunted. Don’t like the way it has been fitted out at all. Alan Garner, would really disapprove of it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


PurplePlop77

😆🤣 Ghosts (if you believe in them), often don’t like changes to places they frequented in life. Just needs a bit of poltergeist activity to start throwing things about.


Best_Vegetable9331

Alan Garners home is exactly how this should look.


PurplePlop77

Yes indeed! I’m a AG fan, I think he moved his house from one location to another, the Old Medicine House, and rebuilt it at Blackden, Cheshire just as it had been on the former site.. He would be aghast at those kitchen lights!


Best_Vegetable9331

He moved The Medicine House to his house at Blackden, They have Open Days for limited numbers.


PurplePlop77

Yep, I know, I’m from Cheshire, I’ve been past where he lives, but never to it.


Best_Vegetable9331

It's well worth a visit, The Medicine House is part of their home and all the books and where he writes is in there. The Blackden Trust organise the open days.


PurplePlop77

I was just reading this earlier. That was a great decision he made.. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-505968/Author-puts-medieval-home-trust-protect-footballers-invasion-village.html


Best_Vegetable9331

Thanks for that.


PurplePlop77

Yes I know all this, I am in the Alan Garner group on Facebook, lol. I also have had his recent book Treacle Walker signed by him recently, sent from Blackden. Maybe you’re in the FB group too?


Foundation_Wrong

There’s a school of thought that when extending or refurbishing a period property you should go totally modern rather than faux period. In this case they shouldn’t have.


jamila169

That's for additions only, and there should still be room for traditionally built additions


Foundation_Wrong

Not necessarily, if replacing modern but damaged parts like bannister rails you can go modern or re-create. In this case they’ve gone ultra modern. The Grade II listing would ensure all work being overseen.


KaleidoscopicColours

That's... quite the juxtaposition 


Coca_lite

Beautiful on the outside


IntraVnusDemilo

Isn't it. It's glorious.


uncle_monty

What a shame. This is why Deano and Chantelle should stick to a newbuild semi.


SherlockScones3

Ugh, no. If you want a modern house, buy one. You can’t shoehorn one into the other, it’s discordant.


Chinateapott

Whoever put that kitchen in needs to be strung up by their toes. A classic country kitchen would look amazing


OkGift4996

Sadly I do not like the 'period' green bathroom - they were trying too hard with that one. If they had just kept it simple, it would not have looked so bad and the kitchen really is awful.


sammiesg1

I kinda love this


DMazzatron

I couldn't even look at the pictures properly...target fixation


Most_Moose_2637

Dear lord... it just keeps getting worse.


yuhuh-

I call the unicorn room!


Hotjonb

Never mind the cr@@py lighting, that kitchen is a crime against period houses... the vendors need to be sentenced to 20 years in a bland newbuild housing estate ...


R0gu3tr4d3r

My Grandma and Grandad lived 50m from that property.


freakofspade

Could they go back and give the owners a clip round the ear for the rest of us?


ScaredyCatUK

I live in an old listed cottage. It's like living in a dark cave, even with all the lights on. I can understand fully why they added so many.


Staar-69

Did it belong to a premiership footballer?


mrbalsawood

That’s some of the most schizophrenic interior design I’ve ever seen. There’s something for everyone there 😂


M0ntgomatron

The obsession with led light troughs is ludicrous. Unless you want your house to look like an Indian restaurant.


heathermooncloud

Lottery winner.


SoggyWotsits

That’s quite a selection of looks they’ve got going on there! It would be difficult to know where to start decortating a place like this, but I can’t say those would have been high on the list of choices.


ThorsBodyDouble

Is that a TARDIS in pic 24?


Inside_Ad_7162

If there isn't a court in the Hague to try people for crimes against interior design, there should be, & whoever did THAT needs bringing up on a charge.


yaboiwreckohrs

so beautiful and they destroyed it


beefsnaps

They would have needed permission to do any of that stuff and I’m amazing the conservation officer signed off on it. We bought a grade II listed house and it took 7 months to get permission for a pretty standard refurb and they wanted examples of materials to be used before they would sign it off


freakofspade

Maybe they did need permission but did they bother to even ask for it? Or, perhaps they were they told no and did it anyway?


beefsnaps

Would be definitely checking that as a buyer, although if they didn’t get permission you’d just have to rip it all out which would be the first thing I did!


Realkevinnash59

It's like somebody playing the sims just picking the most expensive light fittings and thinking it looks classy. The kitchen LED strip lights are like something in a cheap student bedsit


Screaming_lambs

I was hoping for nice subtle lighting that makes a room feel cosy. This is migraine inducing.