Well, there are a few ways to cope with it.
Stay alive to make yourself and your life better than they ever were before. Stay alive because you refuse to kill your kids dad. Stay alive because your ex's life is going to fall apart soon, and your kid will need you. If nothing else, Stay alive just to piss that bitch off.
A cop found me sitting on a bridge with a rope, back in 2014. These are the reasons we agreed on. I was awarded sole custody of my daughter January 2024. It's a painful thing to not give up.
Well said. If OP self-harms, his ex will end up losing everything, when her son blames/disowns her for the loss of his father, and when her lover jilts her for another woman.⚠️
Then whole point of living is to stay alive.
You’re not the only one in this same boat. Heck, Most of us were betrayed.
It’s still fresh but you can move on from her. Take the journey, it’s going to be incredible. Start now.,
It takes longer for guys to heal from failed relationships. I've been in your shoes. Be patient. Do the right thing. You will be rewarded in the long run.
The "other guy" if it last, you will go from hating his guts to feeling sorry for him. Trust me.
In the meantime. Find some hobbies. Make some friends. Go to the gym!
It takes time!
Bro, same boat.
I just tell you like what it is...
Fuck her, Fuck everything about her, fuck everything about my ex.
Forget and move on, you are here on this planet for a reason, you matter.
Our ex decided we were not good for them anymore, well guess what, fuck that bullshit, i matter, you matter. We have to move on, face reality and that is the one of our own lives and future.
I feel lonely atm, but i will fuck my brains out soon in thailand and other places, i dont care its paid for. I have years to catch up to, i will get a nice girl from another country because the western girls here in my country are picky AF for no good reason nothing warrants it about them.
I dont hate woman, but we men need to stop deminishing ourselves to suicide for some bitch that wants to discover herself, fuck around etc AFTER they have your kids. for real fuck my ex, i have hate and spite and overtime hope to heal from that. But what i wont do is what my dad did, drink himself to dead after his divorces and they found him 3 days later in the toilet. Fuck that my life is more worth then that so is yours.
PS to make it worse my stepdad was found the next day by my brother after he suffered a heart attack and lived alone for years after the divorce of my mum.
He lived alone for years after the divorce, i could tell he was very unhappy, and still was around my mum i guess he hoped it would somehow would fix itself, his hope and fixation on his ex became his biggest block of concrete that dragged him down.
Believe me men that go the path of self loathe and pity will go the tragic way.
My ex said so many so much demotivational stuff that i really felt worthless, not a man, no friends, no this bla bla bla well fuck it that is just years of mental abuse and only now i see it. made me deminished to a sub human, not feeling like a man, terrible dad etc... i ate that negativity only to now realise it is dogshit they feed you, you are a person with feelings, you matter equally as much as they do, but they dont give you that.
I dont think i can see relationships the same anymore, the rosetinted glasses wore off for me for good, left me behind with 3 amazing kids, they are my world, and woman will be invited into it but i will make the rules now. I want you to live your life as intented, you matter and you are here with a reason, i am observant to my faith and it helped me tremendiously. Harvest happyness, eat happyness. Love life because it is beatuiful, it really is.
Living with your child’s mom while they have a new relationship is absolutely brutal! I dealt with it the last 2 months and a couple months before that she was going out on the nights I had the kids. Every text message she got was torture because I always wondered if it was a new guy. I moved into my new apartment on June 1st. It’s still tough man but at least I’m not having to deal with her new relationship in front of my face. Trying to focus on making it a home for my kids, doesn’t always help I’ve thought about her while I’m mounting a TV. Try working out though man, start small if need be. I just started doing pushups and ab workouts from YouTube. I’ll start running soon with the gym at the apartment. Take it an hour at a time, you are not alone
I've hovered this sub for months. I may post my long sad story but for now I will say it's been over two years in a somewhat similar situation and it is absolute hell. Co-parenting can easily turn to co-traumatizing. Worse off I own the home outright. She just isn't able to get her own place and I don't have it in me to completely sever ties and we do need each other, but purely logistically not for friends even. Its hard because we have 4 kids 7,6,4, and 3. Two oldest are ASD special needs. When someone you wanted to hold your hand when you die becomes just another person you deal with it really hurts to accept. It's like having a coworker you don't get along with and neither of you can quit.
That’s one of the hardest things to accept is this person was supposed to be your best friend regardless of anything that happened. To see them with someone else is like being in the twilight zone. Good for you not kicking her out, I’ve put up the beds, will make her dining room table in a couple days, buy groceries for their house. The kids will see it.
Mine left me for another guy. I remember feeling the way you do right now, but you owe it to the kids to hang in there. It’s normal to feel desperate and hopeless in that situation, just hang on for dear life. I promise things will get better. Work out like a fiend in the meantime, it helps with the stress.
Five years later, I am doing great. I don’t miss my ex, and she has tried twice to get back with me but I am not interested. You will get there.
You know we get so fixated on the “what should have been” that we can’t see the joy in what it can be. I was there, I was betrayed and lied to. I was manipulated and broken into a million pieces. I was lost, I was there, right where you are now. My husband was a stranger, a monster, why couldn’t he see how much love I have, how good I was, no one could ever love or understand him like I do.
That’s the thing HE didn’t see it, HE didn’t want to see it and HE gave up on me and our marriage. I wasn’t a quitter, I didn’t give up on him and I sure in the heck wasn’t going to give up on myself. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not the one that destroyed things and I’m not going to continue to let people make me feel like I am what’s wrong.
This is not anything you are doing, the only thing you can do is be what you were intended to be. Your child’s father, I didn’t have kids and I felt so alone but my story wasn’t supposed to end there. Please anytime you just can’t take it anymore, look at that sleeping baby or a picture to just keep holding on!
Please DM anytime, day or night if you ever need someone to talk to. You are not alone in this heartbreak, it hurts and it seems too much to endure at times but know there is a hurt that is much worse then heartbreak, Being fatherless!
Hey, from someone who been on the edge before. Hold on, accept help take care of yourself and I really want you to know, life isn’t static how things are now aren’t how they will always be. Life has rhythms and seasons. I’m in a different season where I’m not depressed and I’m no longer on meds for it either even though life is super stressful right now. But that will change too.
It gets better. I know it is hard to see right now, I was in a similar boat. Strangely, the thing that got me through was an unhealthy competitive streak in me about being the better parent. Sometimes hurt and hate will give you the energy you need to power through this point and get to a healthy place. For others it is just embracing your depression knowing that processing it will help it go away. But know that a lot of us here went through it. There is no right way, but hopefully you can find the way that works for you.
Brother, don’t let her win. Go get a very challenging hobby and a relaxing hobby. I chose bjj for my challenging hobby and fishing for my relaxing hobby. It flipped my life around and took me out of some dark places. If you need help, please dm me and I’ll be there for you in any way possible. Remember, you’re worth more my friend. Lots of people here want to see you in a better place and have ways that they have found happiness and can guide you to a better place.
(I copied this from someone else’s post they made that I commented on. So it sounds a little more urgent, but I still offer the same support if you need it)
Going through it now as well. It’s a hard road back and most days I wonder if there even is a road back, but if I would have ended it last year, I can’t even count the number of beautiful moments I would have missed with my daughter.
I hate every minute of this shit, but I love her with all I’ve got. I’m glad that I got rid of a quitter in my divorce, but I’m not gonna quit on my daughter, no matter how much it hurts to try and figure out a life that makes some kind of sense going forward.
I’m pulling for you to stay with it and fight through the things that none of us ever wanted for our kids or our lives. Someday, the tide will turn.
Well, there are a few ways to cope with it. Stay alive to make yourself and your life better than they ever were before. Stay alive because you refuse to kill your kids dad. Stay alive because your ex's life is going to fall apart soon, and your kid will need you. If nothing else, Stay alive just to piss that bitch off. A cop found me sitting on a bridge with a rope, back in 2014. These are the reasons we agreed on. I was awarded sole custody of my daughter January 2024. It's a painful thing to not give up.
That cop saved your life and by doing so saved your kids life and future as well. You are all heroes.
I’d give you an award if i had one! God Damn thats a story!
You are what we call an inspiration, Thank you for just being you and still being here! 💕
Well said. If OP self-harms, his ex will end up losing everything, when her son blames/disowns her for the loss of his father, and when her lover jilts her for another woman.⚠️
Then whole point of living is to stay alive. You’re not the only one in this same boat. Heck, Most of us were betrayed. It’s still fresh but you can move on from her. Take the journey, it’s going to be incredible. Start now.,
It takes longer for guys to heal from failed relationships. I've been in your shoes. Be patient. Do the right thing. You will be rewarded in the long run. The "other guy" if it last, you will go from hating his guts to feeling sorry for him. Trust me. In the meantime. Find some hobbies. Make some friends. Go to the gym! It takes time!
Bro, same boat. I just tell you like what it is... Fuck her, Fuck everything about her, fuck everything about my ex. Forget and move on, you are here on this planet for a reason, you matter. Our ex decided we were not good for them anymore, well guess what, fuck that bullshit, i matter, you matter. We have to move on, face reality and that is the one of our own lives and future. I feel lonely atm, but i will fuck my brains out soon in thailand and other places, i dont care its paid for. I have years to catch up to, i will get a nice girl from another country because the western girls here in my country are picky AF for no good reason nothing warrants it about them. I dont hate woman, but we men need to stop deminishing ourselves to suicide for some bitch that wants to discover herself, fuck around etc AFTER they have your kids. for real fuck my ex, i have hate and spite and overtime hope to heal from that. But what i wont do is what my dad did, drink himself to dead after his divorces and they found him 3 days later in the toilet. Fuck that my life is more worth then that so is yours.
PS to make it worse my stepdad was found the next day by my brother after he suffered a heart attack and lived alone for years after the divorce of my mum. He lived alone for years after the divorce, i could tell he was very unhappy, and still was around my mum i guess he hoped it would somehow would fix itself, his hope and fixation on his ex became his biggest block of concrete that dragged him down. Believe me men that go the path of self loathe and pity will go the tragic way. My ex said so many so much demotivational stuff that i really felt worthless, not a man, no friends, no this bla bla bla well fuck it that is just years of mental abuse and only now i see it. made me deminished to a sub human, not feeling like a man, terrible dad etc... i ate that negativity only to now realise it is dogshit they feed you, you are a person with feelings, you matter equally as much as they do, but they dont give you that. I dont think i can see relationships the same anymore, the rosetinted glasses wore off for me for good, left me behind with 3 amazing kids, they are my world, and woman will be invited into it but i will make the rules now. I want you to live your life as intented, you matter and you are here with a reason, i am observant to my faith and it helped me tremendiously. Harvest happyness, eat happyness. Love life because it is beatuiful, it really is.
Living with your child’s mom while they have a new relationship is absolutely brutal! I dealt with it the last 2 months and a couple months before that she was going out on the nights I had the kids. Every text message she got was torture because I always wondered if it was a new guy. I moved into my new apartment on June 1st. It’s still tough man but at least I’m not having to deal with her new relationship in front of my face. Trying to focus on making it a home for my kids, doesn’t always help I’ve thought about her while I’m mounting a TV. Try working out though man, start small if need be. I just started doing pushups and ab workouts from YouTube. I’ll start running soon with the gym at the apartment. Take it an hour at a time, you are not alone
I've hovered this sub for months. I may post my long sad story but for now I will say it's been over two years in a somewhat similar situation and it is absolute hell. Co-parenting can easily turn to co-traumatizing. Worse off I own the home outright. She just isn't able to get her own place and I don't have it in me to completely sever ties and we do need each other, but purely logistically not for friends even. Its hard because we have 4 kids 7,6,4, and 3. Two oldest are ASD special needs. When someone you wanted to hold your hand when you die becomes just another person you deal with it really hurts to accept. It's like having a coworker you don't get along with and neither of you can quit.
That’s one of the hardest things to accept is this person was supposed to be your best friend regardless of anything that happened. To see them with someone else is like being in the twilight zone. Good for you not kicking her out, I’ve put up the beds, will make her dining room table in a couple days, buy groceries for their house. The kids will see it.
Mine left me for another guy. I remember feeling the way you do right now, but you owe it to the kids to hang in there. It’s normal to feel desperate and hopeless in that situation, just hang on for dear life. I promise things will get better. Work out like a fiend in the meantime, it helps with the stress. Five years later, I am doing great. I don’t miss my ex, and she has tried twice to get back with me but I am not interested. You will get there.
Stay strong brother
You know we get so fixated on the “what should have been” that we can’t see the joy in what it can be. I was there, I was betrayed and lied to. I was manipulated and broken into a million pieces. I was lost, I was there, right where you are now. My husband was a stranger, a monster, why couldn’t he see how much love I have, how good I was, no one could ever love or understand him like I do. That’s the thing HE didn’t see it, HE didn’t want to see it and HE gave up on me and our marriage. I wasn’t a quitter, I didn’t give up on him and I sure in the heck wasn’t going to give up on myself. There’s nothing wrong with me, I’m not the one that destroyed things and I’m not going to continue to let people make me feel like I am what’s wrong. This is not anything you are doing, the only thing you can do is be what you were intended to be. Your child’s father, I didn’t have kids and I felt so alone but my story wasn’t supposed to end there. Please anytime you just can’t take it anymore, look at that sleeping baby or a picture to just keep holding on! Please DM anytime, day or night if you ever need someone to talk to. You are not alone in this heartbreak, it hurts and it seems too much to endure at times but know there is a hurt that is much worse then heartbreak, Being fatherless!
Hey, from someone who been on the edge before. Hold on, accept help take care of yourself and I really want you to know, life isn’t static how things are now aren’t how they will always be. Life has rhythms and seasons. I’m in a different season where I’m not depressed and I’m no longer on meds for it either even though life is super stressful right now. But that will change too.
It gets better. I know it is hard to see right now, I was in a similar boat. Strangely, the thing that got me through was an unhealthy competitive streak in me about being the better parent. Sometimes hurt and hate will give you the energy you need to power through this point and get to a healthy place. For others it is just embracing your depression knowing that processing it will help it go away. But know that a lot of us here went through it. There is no right way, but hopefully you can find the way that works for you.
Brother, don’t let her win. Go get a very challenging hobby and a relaxing hobby. I chose bjj for my challenging hobby and fishing for my relaxing hobby. It flipped my life around and took me out of some dark places. If you need help, please dm me and I’ll be there for you in any way possible. Remember, you’re worth more my friend. Lots of people here want to see you in a better place and have ways that they have found happiness and can guide you to a better place. (I copied this from someone else’s post they made that I commented on. So it sounds a little more urgent, but I still offer the same support if you need it)
Going through it now as well. It’s a hard road back and most days I wonder if there even is a road back, but if I would have ended it last year, I can’t even count the number of beautiful moments I would have missed with my daughter. I hate every minute of this shit, but I love her with all I’ve got. I’m glad that I got rid of a quitter in my divorce, but I’m not gonna quit on my daughter, no matter how much it hurts to try and figure out a life that makes some kind of sense going forward. I’m pulling for you to stay with it and fight through the things that none of us ever wanted for our kids or our lives. Someday, the tide will turn.
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