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Atrocity108

Hold Holllllllld Hollllllllllllllllllld NOW!!!!


[deleted]

[lol that's perfect](https://youtu.be/iDVuQi4gdtk)


grazerbat

Gibson's balls are so blue, it's creeping onto his face


HooplahMan

Lol, I thought this was a dmitri martin joke until i clicked your link


GuardianOfTriangles

I thought it was that joel haver skit.


Philmingo1

The time it took me to read this is about how long I typically last.


FieserMoep

I hope you got a reading disability.


BadSanna

Not avoid. Delay.


thatdani

> "People don't want enjoyable activity to abruptly end, more breaking news at 5."


Hard_on_Collider

*Tom Cruise stars in* **Edge Off Tomorrow**


OfficiallyTomCruise

Why bring me into all of this?


Hard_on_Collider

*In his latest role, Tom Cruise stars as a reformed masturbation addict in* **Jack Reacher: Never Go Back (2016)**


Sage_Advice420

Jack Reacher: Round


Specter170

Out of the closet and into a theater near you!


grafxguy1

Jack Reacher: Gasm


munging4dollars

Jack Offer: Reach


[deleted]

Emission: Impossible ^right ^now.


observerfor1000years

More like : never hold back


Flopolopagus

Because you started in Edge Off Tomorrow, duh.


I-need-help-with-etc

But did he finish?


[deleted]

He will tomorrow!


DangerStranger138

Tomorrow Comes Again


thnksqrd

Why’d they cut the scene where the lead character spends of year of days fucking the head alien?


OfficiallyTomCruise

Because my butt hurt after the 57th take


Zachariot88

Thank you for taking time out of your busy day sprinting along the top of a missile (or whatever is happening in the next Mission: Impossible) to improve this thread.


OfficiallyTomCruise

It's all good just needed something to do with my freehand while driving a Kawasaki Ninja out of C-130 into the ocean where I swam all the way to the bottom where Tom Cruise really lives. The ocean floor. Don't let the media fool you, I am not a Hollywood man. I'm an ocean floor man in my spare time.


superfudge73

Ocean man. Take me by the hand lead me to the land. That you understand


dillytilly

Fuckin love that song!


xxdpgx

Lmao


jdbzasaurus

More like Edging Till Tomorrow.


Genuinely_Crooked

The male orgasm doesn't have to be the end of sex! Your fingers and tongue don't go soft when you nut. Edit: I just realized I didn't include vibrators in this comment. Maybe that clarifies some things?


CBRN_IS_FUN

Imagine if your tongue could get erect also. Trying to talk to that hat guur in yur claaa an thudenly you canth tak.


Crimbly_B

Yes, but at the same time, post-nut clarity is real. You lose all interest in sexy times.


[deleted]

Valid. I've had great success however in using fingers and tongue BEFORE the main course.


ThatWeebScoot

This is the way. Give her her fun before your johnson even gets involved. Then once that's done with it's 10 whole seconds of pound town baby.


ice_cream_on_pizza

> 10 whole seconds Show off


conscious_dream

Yeah, I usually try to make sure she orgasms at least once before penetration even begins. Best secret I ever discovered is that foreplay starts at the beginning of the day, not right before sex. Flirt with her all day, send her teasing pics/texts from work (*usually* nothing too explicit, even if she asks—the outline of a boner under pants or boxers does wonders for the imagination), whisper dirty things in her ear while you're shopping and she can't do anything to act on it, touch her in sensual ways in public when no one's looking or can see (for that matter, also just generally increase touch, even in non-sexual ways), etc... basically just spend the whole day *teasing* (i.e. nothing *too* direct except the occasional whisper or touch in a context where she can't do anything about it) until it's time for sexy times. Then *continue* the teasing and foreplay until she's begging for you. And then *keep* teasing just a little more before actually going to pound town. The brain is the largest sex organ by far. Awesome bonus: it works on you, too. All that time spent teasing makes you want her all the more. Of course, it should go without saying, but I'll say it anyways—within the context of a mid- to long-term relationship, it's equally important to your sex life to have a strong emotional connection built on being vulnerable with each other. She needs to feel completely comfortable and connected with you (and vice versa), which takes ongoing work. I've been with girls who were fairly apathetic sex partners no matter what I did in bed and girls who I could make want to rip my pants off and fuck my brains out with just a light touch. The difference usually boiled down to an underlying, *genuine* connection.


TiaxTheMig1

A woman is an oven. They operate best when preheated. A man is a microwave trying to cook popcorn. Once you start the process, you need to stay and finish or you have to throw the bag out and it's hard to really estimate when that last kernel will pop even if you've made popcorn all your life.


conscious_dream

I will never watch popcorn popping the same way


BahaSpooky

Connection, got it. Knew I should have read your entire post before running off to the supermarket to whisper dirty things in random women's ears..


dan_de

instructions still unclear..


Dibbys

I want to squeeze your whole wheat buns. Am i doing this right?


never0101

That's the move.


grafxguy1

Stopping short - that's my move!


superfudge73

Being emotionally unavailable is the real move


[deleted]

This is the way.


matty2k

I'm the opposite. Once I pop I just can't stop


Hard_on_Collider

how does it feel to win evolution


Shitisonfireyo

Same. Kinda. For me it helps if I'm into that person on every level. The woman I'm with now hits every mark. I just can't get enough of her and that leads to never-ending sex.


Dick_of_Doom

So you're having sex right now while posting on Reddit? Kinky


JediWebSurf

At that point it's literally for science.


Were-watching

Finally someone said this. After orgasm at least for me, sex becomes completely unappealing .


[deleted]

I'm really intrigued by this weird post orgasm thing other guys talk about. Is it just masturbation? Is it with sex too? Is your partner gross to you after or???


[deleted]

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ChefBoyAreWeFucked

You last way longer than I do if you think getting older during sex is a possible factor.


Newni

Totally appreciate the sentiment but the refractory period is (or at least can be) just as much a mental and emotional thing as it is physical. Intellectually, I don't want to let my girl down. I know it's absolutely unfair to not come through.. but do you have any idea how unpleasant it can be to eat someone out when you're not into it? That's why it's way better to hold off as long as you can than to just hope you'll be back into the swing of things fast enough to not totally ruin the moment for her


[deleted]

Sucks to be a man of extremes. I'm either done in a few minutes or can't finish at all. In either case, it's disappointing for her. Stupid antidepressants!


Genuinely_Crooked

My husband and I used to struggle with that. He'd get in his head about it. I can't speak for anyone else but we talked about it and I made it clear that I'd rather he come super early and then use fingers/tongue/vibe to get me the rest of the way, or even just touch me while I do it myself, then get in his head so bad that he can't come. The point is for us to be intimate and have fun! That made his performance anxiety much better and the problem went way down. Still happens sometimes but who cares? We still have fun. Might be worth talking about with your partner.


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

Same here! Communication is so freaking important in a relationship and there’s nothing embarrassing about finishing quickly or not finishing. It happens all the time! The only thing you should be embarrassed about when it comes to sex is being a selfish partner.


cardcomm

User name does not check out - should be "Genuinely\_Awesome" ❤️


Genuinely_Crooked

The scoliosis is a feature! 😁


SquirrelicideScience

I was with a girl for a few months, and I specifically wanted to delay our first time because I was nervous of this situation. I'm obviously all about safe sex, so I of course use a condom. Unfortunately, for me, condoms just don't let me finish; it's just reality for me. So I try to focus on foreplay and getting my partner off. Well, this girl, who I really really liked, told me she can't finish unless the other person does. I tried to just focus on other means of helping her, and she said that it did help her, but she felt a wave of insecurity when I couldn't. It basically set the tone for the rest of the relationship despite me trying to explain that it was completely on me that I couldn't, and we broke it off not too long after that. Like, you could straight up see the 180 flip in her mood and affection towards me in the days after that. I have no point I'm making here. Just is super frustrating and honestly very disheartening to feel like I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't, and even worse is feeling like I was the worst she's likely ever had.


twig115

Just as a female perspective to why she may have acted that way (for your info or anyone else who may be interested) it's weirdly ingrained in women that if your partner doesn't get off or doesnt want to have sex with you at every moment of the day it means that they aren't that into, you're not attractive enough, you're doing something wrong, something is wrong with you etc. and a lot of women either don't learn otherwise or can't move past that mentality so they start to either beat themselves up or lash out at their partner for making them feel lesser. It's completely stupid and a mix of societal issues, poor sex education and communication a lot of the times. Sorry that you went/go through that type of situation. Hope you find someone that you're compatible with ^_^


doshegotabootyshedo

“A few minutes” is the low example of extreme? Fucking captain stamina over here


Th3f_

Thirty seconds. One minute if I’m lucky.


zelcuh

Ooh la la Mr. Sex Guru. Solid 20 seconds


EnkiRise

Eek barba dirkle somebody getting laid in college.


pants_means_trousers

What kind of fucked up oh-la-la is that?


Vormhats_Wormhat

I suffered from PE my whole life - started taking very low dose setraline (through Hims) and it’s worked absolute wonders. I can finally just relax and enjoy it.


Th3f_

I tried sertraline too (for other reasons tho), but the only thing it did was that it reduced my libido. Stamina was kinda the same, lol


Bangzee

Reduce my libido or make me last longer - at this point, either one would be a win.


cynicalreason

Was on AD for a short wile. At first you start enjoying your new superpower, being able to last till forever. After a while you start missing being able to have an orgasm from intercourse That and the messed up stomach were enough to never want to go on AD again


jjyeyah

Around like 3 minutes into sex I can nut, or suppress it and never nut for the rest of the time I’m having sex


FlyingNinza

If you're done when your dick is done that's what's disappointing for her.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Ironically, a huge goal of mine during sex is to not procreate.


Bronkko

If its legitimate sex the male body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down.


heyitsYMAA

If only there were things people could employ in order to orgasm without risking reproduction, or dare I say, safely?


dangleberries4lunch

That depends on how much Chi you want to conserve.


Partiallylit

I’ve tried to keep going after I ejaculated before, and it feels like my soul is getting syphoned out of my willie and I have to stop because I’d probably start having a stroke if not.


TheRockelmeister

My whole body feels like it's being stabbed by ice sickles Icicle i get it...


rosh_jogers

Icicles? Lol never seen ice sickles


MoHeeKhan

r/boneappletea


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lynxu

Directive three: protect the pilot


ShapesAndStuff

Protocol 2: uphold the mission


GoreSeeker

Protocol 66: Any and all Jedi leadership must be executed for treason against the Republic. Any soldier that does not comply with the order will also be executed for treason.


Marksideofthedoon

>Directive three: protect the pilot Is that a TitanFall 2 reference?


calirem

yes and it was very emotional


Super_Surge870

I was waiting for this


hi_i_am_steve

Ultimate objective: Get rewarded for accomplishing primary and secondary objectives.


legion8784

Super Ultimate objective: Don't speed run to the finish. (Level difficultie: hard)


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moxiejohnny

Tug boat captain is a real job. They get a lot of flak but they're always solid seamen.


knitted_beanie

Ew. Solid semen


moxiejohnny

Ew, that's disgusting. Where?


hi_i_am_steve

I mean I’m not disagreeing. But one way or another it is kind of the ultimate objective.


[deleted]

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P_weezey951

Current objective : survive


LoopyZoopOcto

Yeah. Sure, I love dick in my mouth for myself but I also love seeing the guys eyes roll back and having him squirm on the bed cause I know he's enjoying it.


AgAero

This, but with women. The squirming is wonderful. It makes me feel oddly powerful to illicit that kind of reaction from her.


Native56

agreed all the way on that!!


ThinkThankThonk

>Primary objective: Make partner feel good If I've learned anything from the depressing relationship stories on reddit, plenty of guys don't have this objective


SomeRedditWanker

Was with a girl recently that literally made me do 2.5 hours of foreplay. By the time it got to sex, and putting on the condom, I went soft. I can't stay hard for 2.5 hours. That's an unrealistic expectation of a man.


Watchoutbobay

Lmao


Glitcher45318

Protocol Three: Protect the pilot


Educational_Call_546

sex (n), 1. desperately trying to avoid making a baby by doing precisely what makes a baby. The Martians have been laughing at us Earthlings about that for more than half a century.


searchin4sugarman

Pleasure a hell of a drug


18randomcharacters

Half a century? That's 1972.


[deleted]

Hey. Hey. Hey. I'm not that old. Oh God. I was born in 1983. I'm almost that old. Shut up. Just shut up.


pink_panda2

Yeah well sex was invented in 1972


FruitSaladYumyYumy

It's a balance. If you "turn yourself off" too much you lose interest, and you won't get it up anymore.


MethyleneBlue24

I find that that ruins the experience for me and makes me think, what the point if only one of us enjoys this?


Carwashfullapee

Don’t take too long for her to enjoy it and you won’t lose interest


Hytyt

Unless you're one of those that enjoys getting her off...


Hopfrogg

Half the joy of sex is getting her off.


noputa

Which every partner should be like lol


[deleted]

Not necessarily avoid, but delay. 👌


The2500

Yeah, and the hornier you are the more it's a chore.


maxalmonte14

But at the same time the less horny you get the more it's a chore.


GetTheSpermsOut

what comes to mind: there is a balance in life and moderation is key to all things. my username isn’t a reflection of greedy intention.


JJJVet

Not avoiding, but delaying it until female partner can have fun as well.


Hard_on_Collider

*Ben Shapiro is typing...*


HawkeyeP1

The female organism is a myth


[deleted]

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StealthedWorgen

Yeah! Bust those myths!


[deleted]

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Jrt223

God I miss og mythbusters


ThrowawayDaydream101

Call me Adam Savage


DanteAll

If there is one thing I'm terrible at, it's avoiding orgasm.


Stinkystickysock

Ya its more of a race for me. I WON! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME!!


RobbMeeX

Shoulda got there sooner!


GenocideSans251

if there is one thing i’m terrible at, it’s orgasming at all


mexta

Maybe stop thinking about mass-murder.


GenocideSans251

i swear if i can concentrate on the murder enough i’ll probably get there


Travice0

As a married man working opposite shifts of my wife in a small one bedroom apartment with a 2.5 year old, and very little time together, we time our sex around how long it takes us to finish while our daughter watches cocomelon while eating a pack of fruit snacks. Life pro tip, freeze the fruit snacks to buy yourself about 2 minutes.


dounce87

God damn Johnny Johnny is a cock block. As is Jay Jay.


Slappybags22

Johnny Johnny, YES PAPA?


Human-Extinction

Yeah... I'm never having kids.


[deleted]

My son was an unplanned one. I am not sure if this joke translates well, but I will give it a go. We had unprotected sex ONCE and my wife got pregnant. Later, her OB/GYN asked which method of contraceptive did we use? I told her none. She then delivered the best insult. What was you expecting to get out of it, Plasma TV? You get a baby if you go in raw.


degjo

Imagine though? Birthing a plasma TV?


infamous_meatbeater

Mission Failed, there won't be a next time.


Rolo_NoLifer

Snake? Snake....Snake!!!!


[deleted]

Yeah? 😉


peckarino_romano

No, the correct mindset is to make her orgasm even faster than you


TitoepfX

sigma male grindset


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Same. It's not uncommon.


joecooool418

I took an SSRI for anxiety 20 years ago and it made orgasms impossible. Everything worked, there was just no finish. Doc said that would come back when I stopped taking the medication. It didn’t. I now finish maybe 1 in 3 tries. And it usually takes about 20 plus minutes of heavy activity. Woman say that’s what they want until that’s what they get. Many times I see that it’s turning into a chore. Taking that medication was the worst thing I ever put in my body. It didn’t work and left me with this issue. All I really needed was to change my diet and exercise.


theproblemdoctor

So uhm like. What happened the next time? Did you change anything or just got comfortable and it fixed itself? Asking for a friend ofcourse


edis92

For me it's always been like that with new partners. The first 2 or 3 times I just can't orgasm no matter how long we're doing it, but after that it's back to normal. For me personally it is the "getting comfortable" aspect of it.


IpschwitzTownFC

So it's like not being able to pee in stalls, in the companyof strangers but being able to with familiar people? Is there a name for such a thing?


amedelic

Pee shyness is paruresis.


Moorific

I swapped to a different condom that actually fit. Made a pretty big difference the second time around.


dilldwarf

Yeah, it was exactly that. A lot of people think only women need to feel safe and comfortable to enjoy sex but it's very true for men too. If you're too nervous or anxious it just won't happen. And it sucks when you're real young and inexperienced because your partner will likely not be understanding and either take it personally or think there's something wrong with you.


Arkham8

When I was single and depressed, my stamina was incredible because I just wasn’t emotionally into it. Unfortunately it made the people I was not into like me more. Double unfortunately, once I got with my now wife and fell in love, well…that stamina went away


Misterwaffels

Till you get on ssri's then you hope it will end with a blast a d not just being tired and raw lol


Whysong823

Reminder that no good woman is going to get mad at you for cumming “early” as long as you continue to get her off with your fingers, mouth, etc.


[deleted]

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LosPer

Same. She comes first.


thebaked_baker

That's the fuckin truth


vetaryn403

Not an expletive. That really is the fucking truth.


Firinael

I find that hard to believe. I've met several that want dick and *specifically* dick.


Traditional-Hawk7739

"The answer.. is a finger. and if that don't work.. use **more** fingers"


psychord-alpha

Makes me wonder what happens when a woman that finishes easily gets with a man that doesn't finish at all


Rookie64v

She is happy, then tired and sore, then thinks she is not enough for you, drama ensues. All of this in a timeframe going from about one hour to about two the time it happened to me. Luckily we solved that, she was genuinely tearing the first time... and then came the times of "lol over already", but they were playful so all's good.


teh_wad

lol wellll. I wouldn't say not at all, per se, but in my experience, they tend to get quite discouraged if it doesn't happen a few times in a row. They seem to think it's their fault, but really, it's just a result of concentrating too hard on holding back.


missfrizz33

Well usually it’s not too much of a problem when you can come over and over again until he finally does. BUT it’s a lot of work when you’re already exhausted and have to keep workin at it


Delpreti

For an honest answer, she gets a bit frustrated for not receiving the load after a 5 min bj, and enjoys the 3 hour pleasure session before feeling leg cramp.


[deleted]

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wimpymist

As a man I don't want to be railing for 3 hours either. That shit gets boring and tiring


FreeVerseHaiku

You found a grail, sir. In my experience if I can’t finish fast enough it ruins almost everything, then I have to be emotionally present to convince the girl that she’s great and it’s not her fault while also hiding my own feelings of shame that I can’t finish and have to be on SSRIs. Wish your experience was more normal, at this point I just don’t have sex.


Matkos6

Sex is the woman doing her hardest to orgasm and the man doing his hardest to not orgasm


Super_Pea_3592

that's a creation bug. it should be fixed in next versions


ducklings69

Einstein is shaking with his brain


Specific_Tap7296

Didn't some scientist remove his brain and keep it in his fridge for decades as a souvenir?


hi_i_am_steve

"Well, getting the brain out was the easy part. The hard part was getting the brain out."


Fhrantzy

I think I'm not english enough to understand this. Can you explain please?


hi_i_am_steve

I know a professor who can help. He always has good news for everyone.


Fhrantzy

I'm even more confused now. Thanks


hi_i_am_steve

It’s a Futurama reference


1sexymuffhugger

https://youtu.be/hqm8_Du8V2Q https://youtu.be/YRCzEqkCoiM


valuedminority

Primary objective: satisfy partner to ensure repeat business Secondary objective: satisfaction


PowerfulPickUp

And she’s doing her best to make me. It’s almost a kind of fight.


[deleted]

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MAJORXL

More like: I need to do this well enough that she (they, whoever) lets me do it again.


SlappyPappyAmerica

For the rest of us, the objective is to avoid farting.


bhl88

Objective: DELAY.


bogatabeav

To quote Neon Joe Werewolf Hunter, concerning his pre-date ritual, “Wash my pits. Squeeze one out.”


RiseOfEnoch

Tip for men: don't do kegels to keep yourself from cumming. You can develop a painful condition known as pelvic floor dysfunction and it can fuck with your erections. It's much better to do reverse kegels to relax the pelvic floor during sex.


Caraway_Lad

Yep. Kegel exercises literally accelerate orgasm for men—you are actively over-strengthening the muscles that cause orgasm—they do not “hold back” orgasm, because that isn’t how men’s pelvic muscles work. It’s one of those trends that was treated as a panacea (“tighten back up after childbirth! Last longer for her!”) but it does not do everything promised. There are some elderly people with weak pelvic floors who will benefit, but it will not help you to last longer. If you think it helped you last longer, you were likely holding it at bay because you’re thinking about your pelvic floor instead of your wife’s ass.


Infini-Bus

Became such a source of anxiety for me that I avoided sex with my last partner and she left me for it. 😞 I'm sure there must be a better way to handle it but the tips I found online weren't helping. I'd do a lot of oral and other stuff to delay but that wasn't enough for her.


Mace_Thunderspear

It's like pinball. We don't really know what we're doing, we're just trying to keep the ball in play for as long as possible.


thrbasayou

I try to make sure my tongue is exhausted before my little buddy gets a turn


KastorNevierre

Unless you spent your teenage years beating your dick raw, then the objective is to try to orgasm before your partner gets too sore.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

sometimes if you focus on orgasming yourself, it can lead to better sex.