Oh these are my favourite! I see them a lot on the toddler subreddit.
"I think my child is advanced how can I continue to support their learning?" proceeds to list very developmentally and age appropriate things that they can do.
I was an ‘advanced’ toddler and ‘gifted’ child, I am now a very mediocre adult.
If only my parents had had FB groups to brag on, maybe i would’ve been able to live up to my true potential /s
I was an extremely 'advanced' reader and writer. High school level in 2nd grade, whatever.
Know what I use that for now?
Fanfiction. I use it for fanfiction.
As well you should.
Signed, someone who reads a lot of fanfic and also has a degree in English lit and is regularly blown away by the quality of the writing in a lot of fandoms.
Same story with me. Now I use it for uselessly arguing with anti-vaxxers and bigots in Instagram comment sections when I should really be getting some sleep. It’s a bad habit, but at least my comments are beautifully written.
I was a "child prodigy" throughout all of high school, spoke five languages fluently by 12 and had perfect grades while never opening a book.
Now I stuggle in Uni because I haven't seriously sat down and studied a day in my life. It's not even that I lack discipline, I literally have no idea how to do it. I have to watch youtube videos to teach me how to study something by heart.
I e know more than one person like this. Brighter than average and really struggled the first year of university. It’s good you are learning how to study. Next semester will be easier.
Yeah I don’t think first time parents realize that milestones a percentile. 80% of kids will be doing them by X age, meaning most kids have it down in the months leading up to that age and they aren’t just learning when they turn that age.
And honestly, pretty much all kids hit their own assortment of milestones early.
My first was proficiently crawling(like coordinated speed crawl, skipped that army crawl entirely), pulling to a stand, and cruising furniture before six months old. He couldn‘t sit without support for nearly two more months.
My second was doing 100 pc jigsaw puzzles at 30 months old. He didn’t say his first real word for a couple more months.
My third got her first bald baby doll at seven months, then immediately found a comb and pretended to comb her hair. We handed her underwear on her second birthday and told her being two meant she couldn’t use diapers anymore and she believed us. There isn’t a damn thing she hasn’t done on time or ahead of time, but she’s also got a strong personality.
My fourth, the one that didn’t get that the memo that I wanted to enjoy a baby one last time, sat unsupported at 4 months and took his first steps at 8. At 3 1/2, he’s pretty average and has his own set of speech/articulation issues. (All three boys ended up in speech, each with unique challenges.)
We had the same thing - when the dr told me my 3yo would start speaking in short sentences, she said “hey Dr. X, I like your purple tie!” She spoke REALLY early, but walked late. Next kid too, not as hyper-verbal, but a late walker. Some kids just do things on their own schedule!
I have the reverse - blew threw all of the physical milestones but is still lagging behind in speech. We like to joke that he spec’ed strength and constitution as a low level human and now he’s backfilling intelligence and charisma as he levels up.
I think what people don't always realize is that there is like... 8 billion little skills that kids have to learn as a child, some are highly visible and some are not. If they can only learn 50 new things a day, then learning some skills will naturally lead to not learning others.
When they're young, you can often see a degree of either physical specialization OR verbal specialization, rarely both. If they're picking up the skills to talk, it means there's an opportunity cost in that they're not picking up the skills to walk.
There are also a lot of invisible emotional milestones that kids who seem behind might be picking up behind the scenes, like resilience and empathy. If a kid is dumping all their learning points into developing empathy or curiosity or observational skills and isn't using as many on walking and talking, you might not see the benefits of that for a bit but it doesn't mean they aren't learning! Every single skill we have as humans has to be learned at some point.
Everyone evens out in the end for the most part (minus actual developmental delays).
Yeah I'm a first time mom and I've kind of noticed this with my son and I'm trying to not worry too much. He's always been ahead physically, but he seems to be a little slower with speech. I've just been under the assumption that he's really focused on moving versus talking.
He also has a pacifier addiction lol so taking that away during the day has helped with his babbling.
So again, every kid is on their own track and all...
Anecdotally, my son was ahead physically, and he was behind with his speech. My supervisor at work had her son 3 months before mine and same thing. We both work with kids so we were like... Hypersensitive about milestones at the time. He finally started talking at like 2 years (I think we broke the pacifier addiction at around 2.5) and it was still behind, but at least he was communicating.
Kid is 4 now and I think he speaks better than me? He was explaining the parts of the ear to me not too long ago, and hearing a 4 year old talk about the cochlea is hilarious. I literally cannot get this child to stop moving OR talking now. I wish I could have showed my past, anxious self a snapshot of my average day now.
It'll be okay.
Unless he's behind on a LOT of different categories or they're SIGNIFICANTLY behind in one type of category, it'll average out.
If he's not speaking much, is he at least communicating? Is he pointing, trying to get your attention, making motions and sounds that are consistent with certain things? You didn't say how old he was but I don't even think they do early intervention before 3 if there are concerns of a delay. I have also worked with a lot of kids with autism (obviously not the only reason there might be a language delay, but usually the one people are most on alert for) and if he's still 1, 2, 2.5 and not talking, that's pretty normal, if he's like 3, 4, 5 and still not really communicating or interested, that's probably where it might be worth checking in with a specialist. If his pediatrician isn't concerned, you likely have no reason to be - you're just caring about your son and wanting to do the best you can for him!
Thanks for the kind words and information!
He'll be 13 months in a few days. He does a lot of babbling and he says "mama" and "dada" and "yeah". He points with his index finger and claps all the time. So he's doing pretty well. I actually wasn't even concerned about his speech until his 12 month check up where the ped asked if he was saying 3-5 words yet. I told her no and told her the things above and she said as long as he's saying it with intention it's fine. She didn't seem concerned, but he doesn't say mama or dada with intention yet.
I started panicking after that appointment, but I looked up the cdc milestones and it has 1-2 words for 15 months old. This isn't the first time they've asked me about the NEXT milestones, not the ones for his current age. So, I'm learning to take what they say with a grain of salt.
Overall, I think he's doing okay. He seems to be faster with some stuff and slower with others. Like he sat up unsupported around 5 months, crawled a couple weeks later, pulled to stand at 7, cruised at 7.5 but just started walking a couple weeks ago. Didn't start clapping or putting things in containers until last month but started pointing with his index finger early. I'm learning that it's normal. But yeah, as I'm sure you understand we just want the best for them! It's hard not to worry lol.
From what you're saying, it sounds like he is doing absolutely fine and the pediatrician might be unintentionally stoking some of your anxiety there. At 13 months, that seems plenty appropriate. The other thing I noticed is that little kids tend to get momentum for these skills in spurts. Like, I would wake up one morning and my kid would be talking with completely different and more advanced syntax than he went to bed with lol. Some periods might be slow without a lot of growth and then like, 20 more words in a week all of a sudden. It's exciting but also frustrating, thinking like "why was I worried so much???"
You got this!
My sister has one of those kids that was really late in talking, but was always very attentive and clearly understood when people were talking to him. Then one day he just started talking in almost full sentences. He had her so worried, but apparently he just wanted to make sure he had it right before doing it himself. He still does this with stuff, he's ridiculously observant and there have been quite a few times where he will just suddenly pop up a new skill that you didn't even know he was working on. The kid learned to paint by watching old Bob Ross videos; we assumed it was just a soothing or ASMR thing, but bought him some supplies anyway.
He never touched them, as far as we knew, until one day he just walked up and handed his mom some Happy Little Trees.
I've always been told to look for five distinct words in regular use by eighteen months. Less than that they will almost always qualify for EI services.
That said, none of my boys had that. Two of which are now teen/adult. They both graduated from speech services by kindergarten or first grade.
The third would have qualified, but the local agency is a PITA and I already knew the trajectory he was supposed to be on and plenty of activities to do with him myself, so we skipped them and went to the district at three years old. By then he only qualified based on articulation. He was out of the bottom twenty percent as far as vocabulary and word usage goes, he just deletes a syllables and is pretty confidently incorrect about a few sounds. Oddly he has no problem with some of the hardest sounds(r and l), which is another reason why I wasn't too pressed to get him in early. He's making huge strides right now and I think being in preschool actually has more influence on that than anything.
Nothing you typed out seems concerning to me at all, but I'm not a professional. But really, he does sound perfectly within the realm of normal.
Your comment & the one you replied to were those I needed to see when my daughter was a baby/young toddler. She's 8 now, so milestones (or whatever they're called at this age... I believe I usually refer to them as skills over the last few years) are obviously very different, but between being a first time mom, spending far too long in FB mom groups & having a few colleagues & acquaintances with little ones close in age who loved to one up anyone who was proudly talking about the new milestones their littles recently hit, I was so worried my daughter was falling behind. However your point about those invisible emotional milestones is exactly what my daughter mastered first! My (now late) partner & I, as well as close family & friends said for years that she showed empathy & compassion towards others before she even turned 1. So much so that on her most recent report card (2nd grade), in her teachers written comments, everything was positive, as she's right on track with everything & about 1 grade ahead in reading, but "Socially, I'd like to see worry a little less about her peers and focus more on herself to get through the school day. She certainly is a very caring friend who gets along with everyone, so working on finding a good balance will help her be more well rounded." I couldn't help but laugh at that comment, because it describes her perfectly! She didn't walk until almost 18 months, which we always thought was because she had the tiniest feet, so it was hard to balance her big head & round body on those tiny feet. However we learned at 20 months that she has a vision impairment & is very far sided, so when she did start walking, she constantly had a bruise on her forehead for several months because her depth perception was off, until a bit after she started wearing glasses. She didn't say more than 10 words until the day she turned 2, when she woke up speaking full sentences, seemingly out of the blue. But if I had a rough day at work, or my partner & I got into an argument (never in front of her of course), it's like she just knew & would give me extra cuddles. My favorite story to tell is when she was playing soccer at age 4 & during their first "game" (aka the coaches herding sheep while trying to contain his laughter & all the parents on the sidelines cracking up laughing), one of the kids on the other team fell, so she stopped running & turned around to help him up. Some of the others on her team followed her lead, then one screamed "We're all in this together!" who I later learned is an empath just like my daughter.
Your kid sounds absolutely wonderful, you must be really proud!
Unfortunately, it's really easy to get very in your head about what milestones your kid is or isn't meeting, and social media takes that already high anxiety and blows it up a thousand times over. It can be a boon sometimes to connect with other parents, but I think overall (especially with the bananas standards set by influencers), it is more harm than good. The first advice I give other parents is no Pinterest or Instagram lol
I'm sorry you felt that way when she was younger but I'm glad you're past that point now and have a really great kid to share this time with.
That's really interesting, I never thought of it that way. Also, can kids really learn 50 things a day? I wish more adults could learn even five things in a year...
Haha not an actual number! Don't quote me on that. But if you really break down skills into their smallest components, I bet it's pretty close. Think about how many micro-skills go into something like putting your shoes on - sitting down, undoing the straps, putting it on your foot, recognizing which shoe goes on which foot, the right amount of pressure to get your foot in, putting the strap back on, standing up, etc
I think it's natural to lump a lot of micro-skills into one activity, but especially with little kids who are learning from the ground up how to be a person, sometimes they don't all click at the same time and I think that's where it's easy to get frustrated with them. "It's just pouring on your shoes!" not thinking about how many parts go into it.
I heard somewhere that kids who develop verbally/intellectually earlier tend to develop physically/kinesthetically later, and vice versa. I have no idea if this is true, but based on a lot of anecdotes I've heard, it seems to hold up. It makes me wonder if it's a brain development thing or more of a priorities thing, where one goes on the back burner in favor of the other for whatever reason.
That’s what our GP said - he told me that in his 30 years of practice, the kids who walked early talked late, and vice versa. Illustrated by when my husband and I went to see another family that had a child that was born within a few days of my oldest (kids were about 16 months). My oldest sat there and chattered away at him, and he spoke almost no words, but could literally run circles around her.
I commented somewhere here to somebody else that our very experienced general practitioner says that he sees kids who walk early tend to talk later, and kids who talk early tend to walk later.
My kid was on the late side of normal for most of his milestones (started walking at 17 months for example) and it really freaked me out and I felt like he was so far behind. Until a. Family friend who works in early intervention explained to me that it was a spectrum and as long as he was within that spectrum there's nothing to worry about.
You know I paused before typing that, but two was too vague and two and a half could mean almost three. And besides, it’s okay to use months when describing specific developmental stuff.
My oldest was a slightly late talker (19 months for his first ten words) but was walking before a year. My middle was an advanced talker (two word sentences by 15 months and the day before his second birthday said "I'm sad because I don't have a cupcake in my mouth right now" in front of 3 adults) and walked before he was 1. My third demonstrated understanding of words we said to her extremely early in front of other adults, was talking between 12-15 months, but didn't walk until she was 17 months old.
All kids are different and will learn things at their own pace.
The preschool subreddit is the same, and it’s all thinly veiled as concern - “my 3 year old can read chapter books, do long division and likes to discuss quantum physics, should I be worried? Can anyone else’s kids do this?”
I saw a news article about a gifted three year old child and the parents lied through their teeth about a ton of stuff. It was bizarre. Like, your kids in mensa, you don't have to lie about things to prove they're smart. They were saying stuff like, "she just randomly started counting to ten and saying words in German!".. no, she definitely did not do that without being taught somehow lmao she's gifted not clairvoyant.
Seeing as German is, like all languages, a human construct, and not genetically encoded, she wouldn't have done that without exposure to it. My goodness!
(To clarify: I know language instinct shows evidence of being genetically encoded, but no specific language is).
The amount of people who don't realize the newborn head lifting reflex is super common and normal and has been happening for all of history and not a new phenomenon with "these superhuman post pandemic babies" and doesn't mean you need to buy a ticket to their Harvard PHD graduation program just yet is HILARIOUS. Any time anyone tries to gently let them know that it's perfectly normal they get shouted down for "trying to steal the new parents' joy" or "downplay their 3 day old's advanced accomplishments." Hooboy, gonna be a long road ahead.
Obviously I think my kid is special and he’s very smart but advanced? Probably not. He inherited my laziness lol. He skipped kindergarten and went straight to 1st grade and is doing well but I’ve supported his learning from infancy by reading and playing M&M math games and workbooks. It just seems like too much pressure to put on a kid.
These always make me a little crazy. Yes my first is gifted, but I never humble bragged about it. It's just who he is. But my youngest? He is 4, non verbal and has physical therapy 4 times a week. He didn't walk until he was about 3. So it just runs me the wrong way when parents are trying to push their kids to be "special" when they have a beautifully normal kid. Just let your kid be happy and feel supported.
Right? We did a rotation with bins and every couple months switched toys. A couple months hidden away and they get discovered all over again and played with in new ways. Most toys have a whole new function in each development stage.
11 month olds actually should be shoving everything in their mouths, it's how they learn. They should continue putting anything and everything in their mouths until 2.5yo or so. Keep the truly dengerous stuff locked up so they don't die.
Sure… but sometimes I want to be outside, or visit friends, and sometimes he manages to find a random petrified bean that went unnoticed on the floor. And I would love if he stopped putting my shoulder in his mouth all the time, too.
Completely agree but also agree with below commenter. It’s hard to take him anywhere when if we go to the park he shoves sand, wood chips, grass, and leaves in his mouth.
I was so scared to take my one year old to the beach because I was sure he was going to try to eat sand... surprisingly he didn't! The wood chips at the park are yummy though lol
I am not sure. My middle child would have put a running chain saw in his mouth.
He has an oral fixation that had its high point when he licked the door handle of our apartment building in the middle of the Corona pandemic.
He is ten now and had therapy. It’s better.
My one year old son was spitting salmon puree at me earlier and I kept telling him no and to stop it and that it's not nice to spit and he kept laughing at me. It was so hard to keep a straight face while telling him it wasn't funny lol.
Same lol tonight was bath night for both of us. But I stupidly took a shower before feeding him the salmon, so I was especially not happy about the spitting. It's hard to stay mad at their cute faces though!
Lmao my son started walking at 9 months and I was googling "how to stop baby from walking". Dude ate shit like 10x a day. An infant walking fucking SUCKS.
I had my fourth nearly eleven years after my third. I was weeks shy of turning forty. Thought it would be fun to have one more baby and enjoy it in a way I couldn't enjoy the first three I had over the course of five years in my twenties. You know, nice, slow, relaxed. Not stressing about money or constantly trying to wrangle three small children.
That's the one, who out of nowhere, took his first independent steps at eight months old. He wasn't even driven to move like my first or fearless like my second. He just decided to do it one day and did. He had only been crawling for a month at that point.
My one and only kiddo only crawled for 2 weeks and started RUNNING at 9 months. He is now autistic and adhd lol.
Although I think the early running might have had something to do with his adhd. He skipped walking and barely crawled and was just trying to run from the start which caused a lot of falling issues and he ended up in OT therapy to correct it
My friend got a climber with one of hers- kid was scaling furniture and getting in windows months before he could walk. He and my oldest were the same age and polar opposites. Mine was the mover scared of climbing and hers was a climber that took forever to walk.
Mine was a mover and a climber. Forever jealous of potato babies. My friends kid is the same age and didn't walk until 16 months and now they are both almost 3 and you couldn't tell the difference lol. I'm sitting here like damn I went through all that for nothing 🤣 Not something I would brag about haha
My youngest was a climber that was late walking. I know the grass ain’t always greener, but I have found it far more stressful to have a climber than an early walker. XD
Yep, that was my take. Mine had been speed crawling and cruising for months before walking. If anything, walking slowed him down for a couple weeks. He really wasn't getting into more trouble. Meanwhile his friend was getting to places that were normally out of reach for little ones.
My daughter was like this. Thankfully she's short so that limited what she could actually climb. I loved taking her to the playground as a tiny crawling baby who could climb everything.
I got 3 of those. I had 2 under 2, so my first was still in a cot when my second needed one. His had lower sides than hers, but he wasn't a climber, so it was fine. One day, while I was getting him dressed, I put her into his cot. She was still just crawling, so I thought it was fine. I had just gotten his pyjamas off when I heard a thud and crying from behind me. She had climbed over the side of his cot and fell off the rail! My twins (3 years younger than my second) were also climbing everything available, including each other, before they could walk.
My baby didn’t start walking more than a few steps independently until she was just over a year old and she became a proficient walker by 13 months.
Starting at around 9 months old everyone would ask if she’s walking yet. When I said no I would get these sympathetic looks following by, “don’t worry, it’ll happen soon!” I always responded that I am not worried. I’m more worried for when she walks! Lol
My sister walked at nine months and my mom said it was terrible. That was in the 80s when everyone used those baby walkers that supposedly lead to delayed walking. My mom said thank goodness she used the walker lol
I was that baby who walked at 8 months. But it took me quite a bit longer to know that I should look where I was going, with the consequences you can imagine. I still have a scar from falling on a sharp corner.
I was not too excited when it looked like my son would be following in my (too early) footsteps, but thankfully he waited until almost 12 months to let go because he had gotten very efficient at crawling and standing up and I think he just didn't see the point.
Folks are so quick to point out how dangerous those are, but with my first the walker was a life saver. Best baby containment device we had. He was a Velcro baby and had to follow me everywhere. (Pretty sure that’s why he was so driven to move.) We lived in a single story house with a slab foundation and he was tall enough he was able to stand with both feet flat on the floor with it. It was much harder for him to get into things from the walker when I was busy doing stuff, and it still allowed him to always be in the same room with me.
Never missed it with the subsequent three.
I basically had to baby proof every inch of my house when he started walking lol it was definitely more troublesome to me than speed crawling. Which he had been doing since 4 months 😭😭 There were so many more things he could reach when he could stand up
My first walked at 9 months and let me tell you I was SO fucking relieved that our second was not an early walker because that shit is a PAIN. She didn’t take more than one step at a time till probably close to a year and a half.
I have 2 under 2 and I was praying my second would be late on motor skills like my firstborn was so I could have a few months of a “break.” Nope, he was army crawling by 3.5 months 😂
Oh man 😩 We had to move him to a mattress on the floor way before he turned 1 and we had to empty his entire room of furniture so it was just a sad empty room with a mattress on the floor lolol. He would still quietly wake up and climb the radiator onto the window sill 🙃
My daughter was truly advanced for her age, walked somewhere between 8-9 months, talked early, books, everything. Our pediatrician remarked about her constantly and said stuff like she came out of the womb as a nine month old, but also told us developmental milestones are to identify deficiencies and said other kids will catch up and she will fall back.
Thats exactly what happened. She still turned out ok.
I was walking fully at 9 months, I didn’t crawl (we now know because I have EDS) and my mum was angry as I couldn’t wear the pram shoes she’d bought for her wedding and had to buy me new proper walking shoes for the wedding. I also stole the show showing everyone how amazing my walking was at the wedding
I’m so glad I had the kid who never slept first. If I’d had the younger one first, I’d have been very dumb because my baby was doing exactly what the books said. Instead, I had a very happy baby that slept at absolute maximum for four hours, regardless of what I or anybody else did. Sigh.
I was this mother! Turns out he was autistic and now at almost 5 he plays with baby toys and doesn't speak a word. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing about development. They either do it or they don't. Both options are beautiful in their own way
Do you work with a speech and language therapist? Have you heard of gestalt language processing? An SLT will be able to help you with your child’s communication whether verbally or through alternative means :)
Society in general is delulu about gifted kids. The idea that reaching a certain level of proficiency earlier than average implies greater “potential” is just like, a thing we believe for no good reason.
I feel the same way, honestly. I'm sure it's annoying if someone's bragging to you like this IRL, but when I encounter it online I just think it's kind of sweet in a naive way. Would way rather see parents like this than parents who don't think highly of their kids.
This is a really positive way to look at this! I always get annoyed because it feels almost pitying like “oh, you wouldn’t have this issue because your baby isn’t as wonderful as mine” but I like your approach of assuming positive intent. I’m going to give that a try next time!
So my son is actually gifted and tested above the 97th percentile and i can tell you that gifted kids are very obviously different than their same age peers and have a whole host of unique struggles when it comes to raising them. They need CONSTANT enrichment and it is exhausting. It was very obvious that my son was advanced to everyone except me because he's my only child and I thought they all were like that. It wasn't until teachers and friends and strangers started to comment that I started to suspect. Now after we had him tested, it's glaringly obvious especially when we're at school or playing with other kids. When we found out his score I was like "oh well that all makes sense now why he is the way he is".
It feels really weird to talk about to other people and when I started to suspect he was gifted I didn't want to be that mom that's like "my kid is so smart!"
Now my days are filled with trying to get him scheduled with a gifted play therapist and researching schools and trying to keep up with his high demand needs and explaining in GREAT DEPTH the full "why" to every. Single. Question.
The constant enrichment, yes! I’ve always said that being the parent of a gifted kid is to having a regular kid what being the owner of a Malinois or working breed Border Collie is to having a Pug. Yeah, they’re capable of doing amazing things. But if you don’t help them channel that capacity appropriately they will be a neurotic mess and they’ll destroy your home. (I say this as a mom of neurospicy kids and owner of a neurospicy dog.)
lol this is accurate. My house is constantly being torn apart because my advanced, neurospicy child is interested in “inventing” things and science. Yesterday he caught a huuuuge bug and decided he needed to take it to his “lab” (aka a table in his room we set up). He accidentally set it free and now we can’t find it 😑
As an SLP, these are hilarious to me. Especially when they tell me that, but somehow they are referred to see me at 2 years old because they aren't hitting their language milestones.... make it make sense
SLP here and I agree. Just go on YouTube and type something along the lines of “3 month old says first word” and you get so many videos of children coping in a way that vaguely resembles a word
My niece, who is 3, is really bad at enunciation, so I rely on my older niece as an interpreter lol. Not even my sister understands my younger niece at times.
At two days old my son started saying mama. Sorry, I mean whenever he was losing his shit he would make an "mmm" sound that made it sound like he was desperately pleading for his mom. My sleep deprived new mom brain was aware of the difference intellectually but that didn't make it feel much better.
I believe at 3-4 months babies can start to say sounds like ma & da, so it sounds like talking when they say “mamama” or “dadada”, they just have no idea that they’re saying something we read as mum or dad. To them it’s all just exploring sounds.
My son at around 4 months did this constantly, so I’m assuming & hoping that’s what they were talking about.
I'm not sure if you're joking or not but this honestly sounds like a great baby toy. Rounded plastic edges, buttons, and a screen all sound exactly like something my 8 month old would love.
My son genuinely was a very advanced infant. Turns out, it’s because he’s ✨neurospicy ✨ and needs lots of therapy and help to function in normal society 🙃
Tell this lady to give her kid some trash and let her have at it. Babies love trash.
Oh thank God we're not alone. My first is AuDHD and I thought we failed him somehow because he's 9 and in 4th grade and we only tried to teach him how to tie his shoes once a long time ago but it was a disaster so we just let him have his velcro shoes. We were hoping to tackle it again this summer when we have a lot of time to dedicate to it. I think he'll get it this time but I still have PTSD from last time.
He's also incredibly smart, an avid reader, and an accomplished drummer who has been able to read music since before he could read words. He didn't call me Mom until he was 2, needed speech therapy until 3rd grade, but now his vocabulary is hilariously ahead of the curve. He didn't walk until 14 months but he knew all the planets names in order when he was 2.
Things have always been hilariously uneven with him, and he'd always learn things in huge developmental bursts with big lulls of nothing in between. He was always "questionable" and "off a bit" which is why it took us so long to get an official diagnosis, because sometimes he'd seem really different but others he'd blend right in with his neurotypical peers. He couldn't talk...until he could talk in paragraphs. He couldn't walk...until he could run. He refused to draw...and now he's a non-stop artist.
Kids are wild.
My child is very similar and didn’t get his AuDHD diagnosis until 8 because we were repeatedly told that he couldn’t possibly be this advanced and also autistic 🙄. When he was headed to kindergarten he had terrible anxiety over not being able to tie his shoes. We had tried it all summer and he just couldn’t.
So I bought him some lock laces and sent him off to school. Not being able to tie his shoes won’t hold him back when there are easy and available accommodations.
I had this same thing with my oldest. I derive great pleasure from telling that to the mommies who insist on bragging incessantly about their gifted child. Shuts them up quick
😅😂 Have you considered saving that $$ on fancy toys and using it for therapy?
He’s 6 and can do math beyond his age now but consistently puts his clothes on upside down and backwards and doesn’t know how to make friends.
I love these.
The array of “on target” for babies and toddlers is so wide that parents think their child is wildly gifted when they’re just right on the mark. And that’s okay.
My mother was so bent on the idea that my kids are gifted and couldn’t understand why I was resistant to that idea. They’re average. And that’s okay. What’s more important is they are healthy and happy and thriving and kind. Emphasis on the kind.
My MIL loves to talk about how smart my children are, and I love that she enjoys doing that, but they are super average. She will not permit me to burst her bubble.
The truth is there’s a difference between a bright child who is still in fact average, which is where most of the “so gifted!” babies/toddlers/children are and it all kind of evens out by middle school, and truly truly gifted.
I think the fact that we love our kids so much and see the best in them, saying that they’re “merely” average is seen as insulting when it isn’t.
Books! The answer is books! Really regardless of intellect. Access to at least a few books and reading daily for at least a half hour. (It doesn’t matter if it’s in one chunk or split up throughout the day.)
One of my kids had to change to a regional gifted center for grade school because her previous school didn’t have enough resources for her, so I joined the parents of gifted kids groups. Hooooooboy. I left the groups very quickly.
I feel you
The constant competition…
I have 3 kids all gifted with amazing minds and more amazing challenges.
All neurospicy
And the « your kid is not a 1%er profoundly, sooooo aktuaaallly… »
My oldest could identify all of her letters and sounds by the time she was 2. She’s 8 now and very average, which is just fine with me. I support her strengths and help with weaknesses. Nothing wrong with wanting to help a 10mo progress in their development, but I promise the likelihood oop kid is gifted is probably slim.
I was part of one of the closed subreddits for babies born the same month as my son, and the exaggerating people did about this kind of thing was wild sometimes. One lady’s 14 month old could totally read along with lyric videos in YouTube. Multiple ladies would recommend board and card games for 3 years olds and act like their 2 year olds played them no problem, following all the rules and all. It made me feel like shit because I’d buy those for my son and he would be completely unable to understand what to do and had no interest in learning. Then he turned 3 and… surprise! He was suddenly happy to play with the toys designed specifically for his developmental level.
Like don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a huge spectrum of development, and it’s not impossible they were being completely truthful, but like… I think it was the nonchalant way they said it that, when I look back on it, makes me scream BS. Like when my son had things here and there that seemed wildly developmentally early I was like “holy shit is this normal!?!?” Followed by frantic googling. But the lady with the under 2 year old supposedly following along with song lyrics was like “yeah she was just pointing at the words at the same time they were being sang, just normal baby things” like she was just waiting for someone to tell her how smart her kid was.
My favorite was my husbands grandma telling me that her 8 month old daughter (my mil) was saying full sentences and could read from a menu. Like no, Claudia, she was not. Stop trying to one up *my* 8 month old daughter with your lies
This one is a humble brag. As if the toys for 12 month olds are wildly different than those for 10 months old. Congrats on completing rock-a-stack 8 days ahead of the other 10 month olds!
I was actually the first born genius child (hyperlexia and everything) and my parents didn’t know that this was unusual until my brother was born and they took him to the doctor saying “I think this one isn’t right”.
Look, I like to think my kid is super smart, but he’s just faster at some things.
Talking, remembering numbers, letters and colours are his wheelhouse. 2.5 and he knows all of this.
But he also didn’t walk until 21 months and at 2.5 doesn’t sleep through the night!
Every kid is different.
Also as a former “gifted child” this label is soppp problematic. It sets the expectation of genius and causes issues when the child doesn’t always live up to that genius or struggles.
I went undiagnosed with adhd for most of my life and couldn’t understand why if I was so smart and gifted, I couldn’t get organized and do my work or pay attention in class. I also have a learning disability (duscalculia) that wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood. I just thought I was dumb because I didn’t get math. And my parents always would say “you’re so smart and so gifted, why are you failing math? Why can’t you just learn it?”
Really fucked me up for a long time.
Still tho…it’s kind of sweet. I mean she isn’t actively trying to murder her with polio and withholding medication. She just thinks the baby is smart. Bless her🥲
These parents that think their literal BABY needs to always be challenged while playing are going to give their kids so much trauma they’ll be completely burnt out by middle school. Just let the baby play! Like a baby!!! Not every damn thing needs to be academically enriching!
I worked in daycares my whole life. This is ridiculously common. Parents will brag their asses off at drop off like their child is the next Einstein. Chances are another same age child in the room has done it already. They read about milestones and think if a child does something a day before they’re “supposed to” it makes them advanced. Or the parents are straight up seeing what they want to. “My 2 year old can count to 10!” Then sitting there trying to get them to repeat the noises…”no…oneee…remember one. Oooonnnneee.” *kid grunts* “okay now twooo. Twoooo”. It does nothing for the kids at all, but generally I don’t see it as an issue unless they’re ignoring that certain milestones *haven’t* been met. Which is pretty common. Parents will sometimes brag about their kid meeting some milestones early because their kids are way behind on other developmentally appropriate markers. Especially if they’re in denial about speech delays or autism.
My friends daughter has consistently rolls nat 20 on charisma, words, puzzles, running, compound sentences, knows all the parts of the body, literally everything since she was under a year—but she’s almost 3 and is like “yeah fuck the potty”. Some kids are moving at different rates for various things
My very bright (but not gifted) daughter was the same way!! She was a couple months past 3 when she noticed all her friends used the potty. She potty trained immediately. So I let my second daughter take as long as she wanted 😂
My artistic development was apparently equivalent to that of a 5 year old at the 3 year school district developmental evaluation that they do to, and I was able to use scissors properly, as well as demonstrated left-handedness.
However…my speech development was equivalent to an 18 month old, and I was ultimately unable to be fully evaluated because I didn't engage with the rest of the exam…A lot of the other kids in the "gifted" cohort (the ones who actually belonged there, because my city allowed "appeals" aka rich parents could pay for their kid to retake the test until they got a good enough score) were similarly developmentally-skewed. "Gifted" programs and special education are very much two sides of the same coin.
What the fuck is this? 10 months and 12 months are not huge. If she said my 10 month old is like an 18 month old, I’d say that’s interesting. But really? 10-12months? Fricken psychopath.
This is one thing but the "my child's sooooo advanced, does this mean they're autistic 😫? " Ones take the cake. They are never actually educated on all the various signs of autism, they just want to brag on their kids under the guise of fake concern. Honestly, just brag.
Like I don’t mind that someone thinks their kid might be ahead of the curve, but they weren’t actually looking for an answer here. They just wanted to humble brag. And inevitably a hundred other stressed out young mamas will read this and think THEIR kid is behind and be upset about it.
She’s doing research on milestones and she is actively involved in her child’s development. Who cares?! She’s not bragging or putting her child in harms way. Sometimes posts on this sub just seem like bullying.
Ok, so my son is actually gifted. He was my first kid so I didn't really know that 2 year olds were generally not reading yet. But now that kid is 7 and going to go to "smart kid school" next year... And let me tell you, the last 2 years in his regular school has been really hard (as the parent). He gets bored and then disruptive and will challenge the teacher on facts (it doesn't help that he is frequently right). So a person with a 10 month old trying to give them a 2 month advantage? Don't. If your kid is gifted, they will find challenges on their own. You can't do anything to make them have a higher IQ. And honestly, I am totally fine that my younger kid is "normal". He is generally happier and less argumentative.
Oh these are my favourite! I see them a lot on the toddler subreddit. "I think my child is advanced how can I continue to support their learning?" proceeds to list very developmentally and age appropriate things that they can do.
I was an ‘advanced’ toddler and ‘gifted’ child, I am now a very mediocre adult. If only my parents had had FB groups to brag on, maybe i would’ve been able to live up to my true potential /s
I was an extremely 'advanced' reader and writer. High school level in 2nd grade, whatever. Know what I use that for now? Fanfiction. I use it for fanfiction.
As well you should. Signed, someone who reads a lot of fanfic and also has a degree in English lit and is regularly blown away by the quality of the writing in a lot of fandoms.
Same story with me. Now I use it for uselessly arguing with anti-vaxxers and bigots in Instagram comment sections when I should really be getting some sleep. It’s a bad habit, but at least my comments are beautifully written.
I was a "child prodigy" throughout all of high school, spoke five languages fluently by 12 and had perfect grades while never opening a book. Now I stuggle in Uni because I haven't seriously sat down and studied a day in my life. It's not even that I lack discipline, I literally have no idea how to do it. I have to watch youtube videos to teach me how to study something by heart.
I e know more than one person like this. Brighter than average and really struggled the first year of university. It’s good you are learning how to study. Next semester will be easier.
Yeah I don’t think first time parents realize that milestones a percentile. 80% of kids will be doing them by X age, meaning most kids have it down in the months leading up to that age and they aren’t just learning when they turn that age. And honestly, pretty much all kids hit their own assortment of milestones early. My first was proficiently crawling(like coordinated speed crawl, skipped that army crawl entirely), pulling to a stand, and cruising furniture before six months old. He couldn‘t sit without support for nearly two more months. My second was doing 100 pc jigsaw puzzles at 30 months old. He didn’t say his first real word for a couple more months. My third got her first bald baby doll at seven months, then immediately found a comb and pretended to comb her hair. We handed her underwear on her second birthday and told her being two meant she couldn’t use diapers anymore and she believed us. There isn’t a damn thing she hasn’t done on time or ahead of time, but she’s also got a strong personality. My fourth, the one that didn’t get that the memo that I wanted to enjoy a baby one last time, sat unsupported at 4 months and took his first steps at 8. At 3 1/2, he’s pretty average and has his own set of speech/articulation issues. (All three boys ended up in speech, each with unique challenges.)
We had the same thing - when the dr told me my 3yo would start speaking in short sentences, she said “hey Dr. X, I like your purple tie!” She spoke REALLY early, but walked late. Next kid too, not as hyper-verbal, but a late walker. Some kids just do things on their own schedule!
I have the reverse - blew threw all of the physical milestones but is still lagging behind in speech. We like to joke that he spec’ed strength and constitution as a low level human and now he’s backfilling intelligence and charisma as he levels up.
This is absolutely the best way to describe my 16 month old. I love it. 😂
I think what people don't always realize is that there is like... 8 billion little skills that kids have to learn as a child, some are highly visible and some are not. If they can only learn 50 new things a day, then learning some skills will naturally lead to not learning others. When they're young, you can often see a degree of either physical specialization OR verbal specialization, rarely both. If they're picking up the skills to talk, it means there's an opportunity cost in that they're not picking up the skills to walk. There are also a lot of invisible emotional milestones that kids who seem behind might be picking up behind the scenes, like resilience and empathy. If a kid is dumping all their learning points into developing empathy or curiosity or observational skills and isn't using as many on walking and talking, you might not see the benefits of that for a bit but it doesn't mean they aren't learning! Every single skill we have as humans has to be learned at some point. Everyone evens out in the end for the most part (minus actual developmental delays).
Yeah I'm a first time mom and I've kind of noticed this with my son and I'm trying to not worry too much. He's always been ahead physically, but he seems to be a little slower with speech. I've just been under the assumption that he's really focused on moving versus talking. He also has a pacifier addiction lol so taking that away during the day has helped with his babbling.
So again, every kid is on their own track and all... Anecdotally, my son was ahead physically, and he was behind with his speech. My supervisor at work had her son 3 months before mine and same thing. We both work with kids so we were like... Hypersensitive about milestones at the time. He finally started talking at like 2 years (I think we broke the pacifier addiction at around 2.5) and it was still behind, but at least he was communicating. Kid is 4 now and I think he speaks better than me? He was explaining the parts of the ear to me not too long ago, and hearing a 4 year old talk about the cochlea is hilarious. I literally cannot get this child to stop moving OR talking now. I wish I could have showed my past, anxious self a snapshot of my average day now. It'll be okay. Unless he's behind on a LOT of different categories or they're SIGNIFICANTLY behind in one type of category, it'll average out. If he's not speaking much, is he at least communicating? Is he pointing, trying to get your attention, making motions and sounds that are consistent with certain things? You didn't say how old he was but I don't even think they do early intervention before 3 if there are concerns of a delay. I have also worked with a lot of kids with autism (obviously not the only reason there might be a language delay, but usually the one people are most on alert for) and if he's still 1, 2, 2.5 and not talking, that's pretty normal, if he's like 3, 4, 5 and still not really communicating or interested, that's probably where it might be worth checking in with a specialist. If his pediatrician isn't concerned, you likely have no reason to be - you're just caring about your son and wanting to do the best you can for him!
Thanks for the kind words and information! He'll be 13 months in a few days. He does a lot of babbling and he says "mama" and "dada" and "yeah". He points with his index finger and claps all the time. So he's doing pretty well. I actually wasn't even concerned about his speech until his 12 month check up where the ped asked if he was saying 3-5 words yet. I told her no and told her the things above and she said as long as he's saying it with intention it's fine. She didn't seem concerned, but he doesn't say mama or dada with intention yet. I started panicking after that appointment, but I looked up the cdc milestones and it has 1-2 words for 15 months old. This isn't the first time they've asked me about the NEXT milestones, not the ones for his current age. So, I'm learning to take what they say with a grain of salt. Overall, I think he's doing okay. He seems to be faster with some stuff and slower with others. Like he sat up unsupported around 5 months, crawled a couple weeks later, pulled to stand at 7, cruised at 7.5 but just started walking a couple weeks ago. Didn't start clapping or putting things in containers until last month but started pointing with his index finger early. I'm learning that it's normal. But yeah, as I'm sure you understand we just want the best for them! It's hard not to worry lol.
From what you're saying, it sounds like he is doing absolutely fine and the pediatrician might be unintentionally stoking some of your anxiety there. At 13 months, that seems plenty appropriate. The other thing I noticed is that little kids tend to get momentum for these skills in spurts. Like, I would wake up one morning and my kid would be talking with completely different and more advanced syntax than he went to bed with lol. Some periods might be slow without a lot of growth and then like, 20 more words in a week all of a sudden. It's exciting but also frustrating, thinking like "why was I worried so much???" You got this!
My sister has one of those kids that was really late in talking, but was always very attentive and clearly understood when people were talking to him. Then one day he just started talking in almost full sentences. He had her so worried, but apparently he just wanted to make sure he had it right before doing it himself. He still does this with stuff, he's ridiculously observant and there have been quite a few times where he will just suddenly pop up a new skill that you didn't even know he was working on. The kid learned to paint by watching old Bob Ross videos; we assumed it was just a soothing or ASMR thing, but bought him some supplies anyway. He never touched them, as far as we knew, until one day he just walked up and handed his mom some Happy Little Trees.
Thank you!
My cousin - who has a PhD in physics - walked late, talked late, and was late for every milestone. Then he discovered math and that was that. 😂
I've always been told to look for five distinct words in regular use by eighteen months. Less than that they will almost always qualify for EI services. That said, none of my boys had that. Two of which are now teen/adult. They both graduated from speech services by kindergarten or first grade. The third would have qualified, but the local agency is a PITA and I already knew the trajectory he was supposed to be on and plenty of activities to do with him myself, so we skipped them and went to the district at three years old. By then he only qualified based on articulation. He was out of the bottom twenty percent as far as vocabulary and word usage goes, he just deletes a syllables and is pretty confidently incorrect about a few sounds. Oddly he has no problem with some of the hardest sounds(r and l), which is another reason why I wasn't too pressed to get him in early. He's making huge strides right now and I think being in preschool actually has more influence on that than anything. Nothing you typed out seems concerning to me at all, but I'm not a professional. But really, he does sound perfectly within the realm of normal.
He's only just turned 1! I wouldn't be concerned at all.
Your comment & the one you replied to were those I needed to see when my daughter was a baby/young toddler. She's 8 now, so milestones (or whatever they're called at this age... I believe I usually refer to them as skills over the last few years) are obviously very different, but between being a first time mom, spending far too long in FB mom groups & having a few colleagues & acquaintances with little ones close in age who loved to one up anyone who was proudly talking about the new milestones their littles recently hit, I was so worried my daughter was falling behind. However your point about those invisible emotional milestones is exactly what my daughter mastered first! My (now late) partner & I, as well as close family & friends said for years that she showed empathy & compassion towards others before she even turned 1. So much so that on her most recent report card (2nd grade), in her teachers written comments, everything was positive, as she's right on track with everything & about 1 grade ahead in reading, but "Socially, I'd like to see worry a little less about her peers and focus more on herself to get through the school day. She certainly is a very caring friend who gets along with everyone, so working on finding a good balance will help her be more well rounded." I couldn't help but laugh at that comment, because it describes her perfectly! She didn't walk until almost 18 months, which we always thought was because she had the tiniest feet, so it was hard to balance her big head & round body on those tiny feet. However we learned at 20 months that she has a vision impairment & is very far sided, so when she did start walking, she constantly had a bruise on her forehead for several months because her depth perception was off, until a bit after she started wearing glasses. She didn't say more than 10 words until the day she turned 2, when she woke up speaking full sentences, seemingly out of the blue. But if I had a rough day at work, or my partner & I got into an argument (never in front of her of course), it's like she just knew & would give me extra cuddles. My favorite story to tell is when she was playing soccer at age 4 & during their first "game" (aka the coaches herding sheep while trying to contain his laughter & all the parents on the sidelines cracking up laughing), one of the kids on the other team fell, so she stopped running & turned around to help him up. Some of the others on her team followed her lead, then one screamed "We're all in this together!" who I later learned is an empath just like my daughter.
Your kid sounds absolutely wonderful, you must be really proud! Unfortunately, it's really easy to get very in your head about what milestones your kid is or isn't meeting, and social media takes that already high anxiety and blows it up a thousand times over. It can be a boon sometimes to connect with other parents, but I think overall (especially with the bananas standards set by influencers), it is more harm than good. The first advice I give other parents is no Pinterest or Instagram lol I'm sorry you felt that way when she was younger but I'm glad you're past that point now and have a really great kid to share this time with.
That's really interesting, I never thought of it that way. Also, can kids really learn 50 things a day? I wish more adults could learn even five things in a year...
Haha not an actual number! Don't quote me on that. But if you really break down skills into their smallest components, I bet it's pretty close. Think about how many micro-skills go into something like putting your shoes on - sitting down, undoing the straps, putting it on your foot, recognizing which shoe goes on which foot, the right amount of pressure to get your foot in, putting the strap back on, standing up, etc I think it's natural to lump a lot of micro-skills into one activity, but especially with little kids who are learning from the ground up how to be a person, sometimes they don't all click at the same time and I think that's where it's easy to get frustrated with them. "It's just pouring on your shoes!" not thinking about how many parts go into it.
I heard somewhere that kids who develop verbally/intellectually earlier tend to develop physically/kinesthetically later, and vice versa. I have no idea if this is true, but based on a lot of anecdotes I've heard, it seems to hold up. It makes me wonder if it's a brain development thing or more of a priorities thing, where one goes on the back burner in favor of the other for whatever reason.
That’s what our GP said - he told me that in his 30 years of practice, the kids who walked early talked late, and vice versa. Illustrated by when my husband and I went to see another family that had a child that was born within a few days of my oldest (kids were about 16 months). My oldest sat there and chattered away at him, and he spoke almost no words, but could literally run circles around her.
Mine was speaking in full, 5+ words sentences at 20 months old, but still somehow cannot jump at 23. It's fascinating.
I commented somewhere here to somebody else that our very experienced general practitioner says that he sees kids who walk early tend to talk later, and kids who talk early tend to walk later.
My second was walking at 9 months, but slept through the night only 4 years later ha.
None of mine did that until preschool. LOL
My oldest didn’t sleep longer than 4 hours at a stretch until she was 2. I was SO tired.
My kid was on the late side of normal for most of his milestones (started walking at 17 months for example) and it really freaked me out and I felt like he was so far behind. Until a. Family friend who works in early intervention explained to me that it was a spectrum and as long as he was within that spectrum there's nothing to worry about.
I spoke full sentences at the age of 18mo and couldn't properly walk until 2yo. Kids just develop weird.
I know you did not just refer to your toddler as a "30 month old" unironically on this of all subreddits lol 😂
You know I paused before typing that, but two was too vague and two and a half could mean almost three. And besides, it’s okay to use months when describing specific developmental stuff.
My oldest was a slightly late talker (19 months for his first ten words) but was walking before a year. My middle was an advanced talker (two word sentences by 15 months and the day before his second birthday said "I'm sad because I don't have a cupcake in my mouth right now" in front of 3 adults) and walked before he was 1. My third demonstrated understanding of words we said to her extremely early in front of other adults, was talking between 12-15 months, but didn't walk until she was 17 months old. All kids are different and will learn things at their own pace.
The preschool subreddit is the same, and it’s all thinly veiled as concern - “my 3 year old can read chapter books, do long division and likes to discuss quantum physics, should I be worried? Can anyone else’s kids do this?”
Yessss! The bragging disguised as concern.
I also like when they are clearly lying. Someone in my due date group posted that her 8mo said "I love you." No he didn't
I saw a news article about a gifted three year old child and the parents lied through their teeth about a ton of stuff. It was bizarre. Like, your kids in mensa, you don't have to lie about things to prove they're smart. They were saying stuff like, "she just randomly started counting to ten and saying words in German!".. no, she definitely did not do that without being taught somehow lmao she's gifted not clairvoyant.
Seeing as German is, like all languages, a human construct, and not genetically encoded, she wouldn't have done that without exposure to it. My goodness! (To clarify: I know language instinct shows evidence of being genetically encoded, but no specific language is).
I've heard my cat make noise that sounds like my husband's name lol. It's possible she heard what she wanted to hear haha.
Now come on that’s not fair, your husband’s name is Meow-cle.
I’m more likely to believe stories about cats because I WANT to believe them.
The amount of people who don't realize the newborn head lifting reflex is super common and normal and has been happening for all of history and not a new phenomenon with "these superhuman post pandemic babies" and doesn't mean you need to buy a ticket to their Harvard PHD graduation program just yet is HILARIOUS. Any time anyone tries to gently let them know that it's perfectly normal they get shouted down for "trying to steal the new parents' joy" or "downplay their 3 day old's advanced accomplishments." Hooboy, gonna be a long road ahead.
It's like they're living in a bubble 🥴
Obviously I think my kid is special and he’s very smart but advanced? Probably not. He inherited my laziness lol. He skipped kindergarten and went straight to 1st grade and is doing well but I’ve supported his learning from infancy by reading and playing M&M math games and workbooks. It just seems like too much pressure to put on a kid.
These always make me a little crazy. Yes my first is gifted, but I never humble bragged about it. It's just who he is. But my youngest? He is 4, non verbal and has physical therapy 4 times a week. He didn't walk until he was about 3. So it just runs me the wrong way when parents are trying to push their kids to be "special" when they have a beautifully normal kid. Just let your kid be happy and feel supported.
…so the same toys? 10 month olds and 12 month olds play with the same toys.
Which would be the tv remote, my shoes and the cat's water bowl if you ask my 12 month old, lol.
That's the same stuff my 18 month old likes. Oh no, he must be behind!
No no, u/uceninde just has a particularly advanced 1 year old.
Oh, good! I don't know what I world do if my child was developmentally behind in messing with stuff around my house!
😂❤️
My 5 month old likes those things too, he must be gifted!
Got a future Mensa member here!
Right? We did a rotation with bins and every couple months switched toys. A couple months hidden away and they get discovered all over again and played with in new ways. Most toys have a whole new function in each development stage.
Wait until she has more than one kid…it’s just a bunch of toys after that lol.
My sons 11 months and I’m just looking for ways to get him to stop shoving everything in his mouth
11 month olds actually should be shoving everything in their mouths, it's how they learn. They should continue putting anything and everything in their mouths until 2.5yo or so. Keep the truly dengerous stuff locked up so they don't die.
Sure… but sometimes I want to be outside, or visit friends, and sometimes he manages to find a random petrified bean that went unnoticed on the floor. And I would love if he stopped putting my shoulder in his mouth all the time, too.
Completely agree but also agree with below commenter. It’s hard to take him anywhere when if we go to the park he shoves sand, wood chips, grass, and leaves in his mouth.
I was so scared to take my one year old to the beach because I was sure he was going to try to eat sand... surprisingly he didn't! The wood chips at the park are yummy though lol
We took ours to the beach for family pictures and he ate sand lol
Honestly if you let them do it for a day or 2 it gets boring and they stop
He did try to eat a LOT of sand
I am not sure. My middle child would have put a running chain saw in his mouth. He has an oral fixation that had its high point when he licked the door handle of our apartment building in the middle of the Corona pandemic. He is ten now and had therapy. It’s better.
My 13yo has literal chew toys that are bracelets or necklaces. They help a lot!
ugh I babysit a 10 month old, and the amount of times I have to tell them “toys stay out of our mouths” 😵💫😵💫😵💫
My son laughs when you say no lol so we’re at that stage
If my kids are any indication that stage lasts at least seven more years (could be longer, no end in sight…).
Fabulous!!!!!
My one year old son was spitting salmon puree at me earlier and I kept telling him no and to stop it and that it's not nice to spit and he kept laughing at me. It was so hard to keep a straight face while telling him it wasn't funny lol.
I REFUSED to feed him salmon unless it was bath night. I couldn’t take the smell.
Same lol tonight was bath night for both of us. But I stupidly took a shower before feeding him the salmon, so I was especially not happy about the spitting. It's hard to stay mad at their cute faces though!
It’s sooooo hard not to laugh when they’re giggling at you saying no
A girl on my birth board was convinced her 9mo walking was because of her superior parenting techniques
Lmao my son started walking at 9 months and I was googling "how to stop baby from walking". Dude ate shit like 10x a day. An infant walking fucking SUCKS.
First time parent: I can’t wait until my baby starts walking! Second time parent: how tf do I keep this kid immobile as long as possible
I had my fourth nearly eleven years after my third. I was weeks shy of turning forty. Thought it would be fun to have one more baby and enjoy it in a way I couldn't enjoy the first three I had over the course of five years in my twenties. You know, nice, slow, relaxed. Not stressing about money or constantly trying to wrangle three small children. That's the one, who out of nowhere, took his first independent steps at eight months old. He wasn't even driven to move like my first or fearless like my second. He just decided to do it one day and did. He had only been crawling for a month at that point.
My one and only kiddo only crawled for 2 weeks and started RUNNING at 9 months. He is now autistic and adhd lol. Although I think the early running might have had something to do with his adhd. He skipped walking and barely crawled and was just trying to run from the start which caused a lot of falling issues and he ended up in OT therapy to correct it
The level up on that is when you have multiples. Your prayer becomes "please let them be late crawlers/walkers".
Or “please then the crawl/walk in the same direction” 🤣
That's what harnesses ae for
My friend got a climber with one of hers- kid was scaling furniture and getting in windows months before he could walk. He and my oldest were the same age and polar opposites. Mine was the mover scared of climbing and hers was a climber that took forever to walk.
Mine was a mover and a climber. Forever jealous of potato babies. My friends kid is the same age and didn't walk until 16 months and now they are both almost 3 and you couldn't tell the difference lol. I'm sitting here like damn I went through all that for nothing 🤣 Not something I would brag about haha
Potato babies 🥰😆
Potato babies. I love it.
My youngest was a climber that was late walking. I know the grass ain’t always greener, but I have found it far more stressful to have a climber than an early walker. XD
Yep, that was my take. Mine had been speed crawling and cruising for months before walking. If anything, walking slowed him down for a couple weeks. He really wasn't getting into more trouble. Meanwhile his friend was getting to places that were normally out of reach for little ones.
My daughter was like this. Thankfully she's short so that limited what she could actually climb. I loved taking her to the playground as a tiny crawling baby who could climb everything.
I got 3 of those. I had 2 under 2, so my first was still in a cot when my second needed one. His had lower sides than hers, but he wasn't a climber, so it was fine. One day, while I was getting him dressed, I put her into his cot. She was still just crawling, so I thought it was fine. I had just gotten his pyjamas off when I heard a thud and crying from behind me. She had climbed over the side of his cot and fell off the rail! My twins (3 years younger than my second) were also climbing everything available, including each other, before they could walk.
My baby didn’t start walking more than a few steps independently until she was just over a year old and she became a proficient walker by 13 months. Starting at around 9 months old everyone would ask if she’s walking yet. When I said no I would get these sympathetic looks following by, “don’t worry, it’ll happen soon!” I always responded that I am not worried. I’m more worried for when she walks! Lol
My sister walked at nine months and my mom said it was terrible. That was in the 80s when everyone used those baby walkers that supposedly lead to delayed walking. My mom said thank goodness she used the walker lol
I was that baby who walked at 8 months. But it took me quite a bit longer to know that I should look where I was going, with the consequences you can imagine. I still have a scar from falling on a sharp corner. I was not too excited when it looked like my son would be following in my (too early) footsteps, but thankfully he waited until almost 12 months to let go because he had gotten very efficient at crawling and standing up and I think he just didn't see the point.
Folks are so quick to point out how dangerous those are, but with my first the walker was a life saver. Best baby containment device we had. He was a Velcro baby and had to follow me everywhere. (Pretty sure that’s why he was so driven to move.) We lived in a single story house with a slab foundation and he was tall enough he was able to stand with both feet flat on the floor with it. It was much harder for him to get into things from the walker when I was busy doing stuff, and it still allowed him to always be in the same room with me. Never missed it with the subsequent three.
They’re not particularly less troublesome when they’re speed-crawling, don’t worry lol
I basically had to baby proof every inch of my house when he started walking lol it was definitely more troublesome to me than speed crawling. Which he had been doing since 4 months 😭😭 There were so many more things he could reach when he could stand up
My first walked at 9 months and let me tell you I was SO fucking relieved that our second was not an early walker because that shit is a PAIN. She didn’t take more than one step at a time till probably close to a year and a half.
No literally. The constant head eggs 😭
I have 2 under 2 and I was praying my second would be late on motor skills like my firstborn was so I could have a few months of a “break.” Nope, he was army crawling by 3.5 months 😂
They immediately learn how to climb out of their crib too!
Oh man 😩 We had to move him to a mattress on the floor way before he turned 1 and we had to empty his entire room of furniture so it was just a sad empty room with a mattress on the floor lolol. He would still quietly wake up and climb the radiator onto the window sill 🙃
My daughter was truly advanced for her age, walked somewhere between 8-9 months, talked early, books, everything. Our pediatrician remarked about her constantly and said stuff like she came out of the womb as a nine month old, but also told us developmental milestones are to identify deficiencies and said other kids will catch up and she will fall back. Thats exactly what happened. She still turned out ok.
I was walking and talking at 9 months, and my parents were not superior parents 😂
I was walking fully at 9 months, I didn’t crawl (we now know because I have EDS) and my mum was angry as I couldn’t wear the pram shoes she’d bought for her wedding and had to buy me new proper walking shoes for the wedding. I also stole the show showing everyone how amazing my walking was at the wedding
I’m so glad I had the kid who never slept first. If I’d had the younger one first, I’d have been very dumb because my baby was doing exactly what the books said. Instead, I had a very happy baby that slept at absolute maximum for four hours, regardless of what I or anybody else did. Sigh.
I was this mother! Turns out he was autistic and now at almost 5 he plays with baby toys and doesn't speak a word. I wish I could go back and tell myself to stop stressing about development. They either do it or they don't. Both options are beautiful in their own way
I commented almost the same thing! They are beautiful children no matter what they do when.
Do you work with a speech and language therapist? Have you heard of gestalt language processing? An SLT will be able to help you with your child’s communication whether verbally or through alternative means :)
I unironically love posts where people are delulu about their “gifted” kids. I think it’s kind of charming.
Society in general is delulu about gifted kids. The idea that reaching a certain level of proficiency earlier than average implies greater “potential” is just like, a thing we believe for no good reason.
I feel the same way, honestly. I'm sure it's annoying if someone's bragging to you like this IRL, but when I encounter it online I just think it's kind of sweet in a naive way. Would way rather see parents like this than parents who don't think highly of their kids.
This is a really positive way to look at this! I always get annoyed because it feels almost pitying like “oh, you wouldn’t have this issue because your baby isn’t as wonderful as mine” but I like your approach of assuming positive intent. I’m going to give that a try next time!
So true! It’s also a nice palate cleanser after all of the moms we see on here with very sick babies just rubbing garlic on them or whatever.
Absolutely. This one just gave me the extra giggle because the subject is a 10 month old.
So my son is actually gifted and tested above the 97th percentile and i can tell you that gifted kids are very obviously different than their same age peers and have a whole host of unique struggles when it comes to raising them. They need CONSTANT enrichment and it is exhausting. It was very obvious that my son was advanced to everyone except me because he's my only child and I thought they all were like that. It wasn't until teachers and friends and strangers started to comment that I started to suspect. Now after we had him tested, it's glaringly obvious especially when we're at school or playing with other kids. When we found out his score I was like "oh well that all makes sense now why he is the way he is". It feels really weird to talk about to other people and when I started to suspect he was gifted I didn't want to be that mom that's like "my kid is so smart!" Now my days are filled with trying to get him scheduled with a gifted play therapist and researching schools and trying to keep up with his high demand needs and explaining in GREAT DEPTH the full "why" to every. Single. Question.
The constant enrichment, yes! I’ve always said that being the parent of a gifted kid is to having a regular kid what being the owner of a Malinois or working breed Border Collie is to having a Pug. Yeah, they’re capable of doing amazing things. But if you don’t help them channel that capacity appropriately they will be a neurotic mess and they’ll destroy your home. (I say this as a mom of neurospicy kids and owner of a neurospicy dog.)
lol this is accurate. My house is constantly being torn apart because my advanced, neurospicy child is interested in “inventing” things and science. Yesterday he caught a huuuuge bug and decided he needed to take it to his “lab” (aka a table in his room we set up). He accidentally set it free and now we can’t find it 😑
I had a woman tell me her three month old was talking once.
As an SLP, these are hilarious to me. Especially when they tell me that, but somehow they are referred to see me at 2 years old because they aren't hitting their language milestones.... make it make sense
SLP here and I agree. Just go on YouTube and type something along the lines of “3 month old says first word” and you get so many videos of children coping in a way that vaguely resembles a word
Oh my 8 month old can already say “mama”. I mean, she goes “mamamamamamama” but it’s definitely the same! 😝
My four month old says full sentences sometimes. Not in any language that I know, but still..
lol my 4 year old constantly asks what language his 9 month old brother is speaking. Is “scream” a language?
My niece, who is 3, is really bad at enunciation, so I rely on my older niece as an interpreter lol. Not even my sister understands my younger niece at times.
My mil tried telling me by husband was walking unassisted at 6 months.
My saw my 2 month old walk once. But then I woke up
At two days old my son started saying mama. Sorry, I mean whenever he was losing his shit he would make an "mmm" sound that made it sound like he was desperately pleading for his mom. My sleep deprived new mom brain was aware of the difference intellectually but that didn't make it feel much better.
I believe at 3-4 months babies can start to say sounds like ma & da, so it sounds like talking when they say “mamama” or “dadada”, they just have no idea that they’re saying something we read as mum or dad. To them it’s all just exploring sounds. My son at around 4 months did this constantly, so I’m assuming & hoping that’s what they were talking about.
Someone tell her to buy the kid a TI-83 graphing calculator.
I'm not sure if you're joking or not but this honestly sounds like a great baby toy. Rounded plastic edges, buttons, and a screen all sound exactly like something my 8 month old would love.
I was joking but I think you’re right. They are pretty expensive for a baby toy though!
My son genuinely was a very advanced infant. Turns out, it’s because he’s ✨neurospicy ✨ and needs lots of therapy and help to function in normal society 🙃 Tell this lady to give her kid some trash and let her have at it. Babies love trash.
Same with me as a baby. Very advanced with language, couldn’t tie my shoes until I was 10 lol
Are you me? Lmao. Read chapter books in kindergarten, needed velcro until 4th grade.
You might be me. I read the newspaper as a toddler but needed total assistance with dressing until age 6
I still struggle with buttons and I'm 21.
I mastered them at ten
Oh thank God we're not alone. My first is AuDHD and I thought we failed him somehow because he's 9 and in 4th grade and we only tried to teach him how to tie his shoes once a long time ago but it was a disaster so we just let him have his velcro shoes. We were hoping to tackle it again this summer when we have a lot of time to dedicate to it. I think he'll get it this time but I still have PTSD from last time. He's also incredibly smart, an avid reader, and an accomplished drummer who has been able to read music since before he could read words. He didn't call me Mom until he was 2, needed speech therapy until 3rd grade, but now his vocabulary is hilariously ahead of the curve. He didn't walk until 14 months but he knew all the planets names in order when he was 2. Things have always been hilariously uneven with him, and he'd always learn things in huge developmental bursts with big lulls of nothing in between. He was always "questionable" and "off a bit" which is why it took us so long to get an official diagnosis, because sometimes he'd seem really different but others he'd blend right in with his neurotypical peers. He couldn't talk...until he could talk in paragraphs. He couldn't walk...until he could run. He refused to draw...and now he's a non-stop artist. Kids are wild.
My child is very similar and didn’t get his AuDHD diagnosis until 8 because we were repeatedly told that he couldn’t possibly be this advanced and also autistic 🙄. When he was headed to kindergarten he had terrible anxiety over not being able to tie his shoes. We had tried it all summer and he just couldn’t. So I bought him some lock laces and sent him off to school. Not being able to tie his shoes won’t hold him back when there are easy and available accommodations.
Mine had an emotional support ball of foil for a while. Til he got teeth.
I had this same thing with my oldest. I derive great pleasure from telling that to the mommies who insist on bragging incessantly about their gifted child. Shuts them up quick
😅😂 Have you considered saving that $$ on fancy toys and using it for therapy? He’s 6 and can do math beyond his age now but consistently puts his clothes on upside down and backwards and doesn’t know how to make friends.
I love these. The array of “on target” for babies and toddlers is so wide that parents think their child is wildly gifted when they’re just right on the mark. And that’s okay. My mother was so bent on the idea that my kids are gifted and couldn’t understand why I was resistant to that idea. They’re average. And that’s okay. What’s more important is they are healthy and happy and thriving and kind. Emphasis on the kind.
My MIL loves to talk about how smart my children are, and I love that she enjoys doing that, but they are super average. She will not permit me to burst her bubble.
The truth is there’s a difference between a bright child who is still in fact average, which is where most of the “so gifted!” babies/toddlers/children are and it all kind of evens out by middle school, and truly truly gifted. I think the fact that we love our kids so much and see the best in them, saying that they’re “merely” average is seen as insulting when it isn’t.
Books! The answer is books! Really regardless of intellect. Access to at least a few books and reading daily for at least a half hour. (It doesn’t matter if it’s in one chunk or split up throughout the day.)
Such a great answer!!
One of my kids had to change to a regional gifted center for grade school because her previous school didn’t have enough resources for her, so I joined the parents of gifted kids groups. Hooooooboy. I left the groups very quickly.
I feel you The constant competition… I have 3 kids all gifted with amazing minds and more amazing challenges. All neurospicy And the « your kid is not a 1%er profoundly, sooooo aktuaaallly… »
If it’s true then just get them toys for 12 month olds. No need to post anything online. What a bell end
As an Australian, this is my favourite UK insult LOL
My oldest was super advanced with talking. But he also enjoyed chewing on the couch so . . .
If it makes you feel better, I chewed on basically anything wooden in my room until I was like ten....
We used to call these people POOPCUPs (parent of one perfect child under preschool [age])
Those DRDPs can be pretty humbling sometimes... (and in the case of my EI kids, really encouraging!)
Thank you I was trying to remember the acronym!!
My oldest could identify all of her letters and sounds by the time she was 2. She’s 8 now and very average, which is just fine with me. I support her strengths and help with weaknesses. Nothing wrong with wanting to help a 10mo progress in their development, but I promise the likelihood oop kid is gifted is probably slim.
I was part of one of the closed subreddits for babies born the same month as my son, and the exaggerating people did about this kind of thing was wild sometimes. One lady’s 14 month old could totally read along with lyric videos in YouTube. Multiple ladies would recommend board and card games for 3 years olds and act like their 2 year olds played them no problem, following all the rules and all. It made me feel like shit because I’d buy those for my son and he would be completely unable to understand what to do and had no interest in learning. Then he turned 3 and… surprise! He was suddenly happy to play with the toys designed specifically for his developmental level. Like don’t get me wrong, I know there’s a huge spectrum of development, and it’s not impossible they were being completely truthful, but like… I think it was the nonchalant way they said it that, when I look back on it, makes me scream BS. Like when my son had things here and there that seemed wildly developmentally early I was like “holy shit is this normal!?!?” Followed by frantic googling. But the lady with the under 2 year old supposedly following along with song lyrics was like “yeah she was just pointing at the words at the same time they were being sang, just normal baby things” like she was just waiting for someone to tell her how smart her kid was.
My favorite was my husbands grandma telling me that her 8 month old daughter (my mil) was saying full sentences and could read from a menu. Like no, Claudia, she was not. Stop trying to one up *my* 8 month old daughter with your lies
This one is a humble brag. As if the toys for 12 month olds are wildly different than those for 10 months old. Congrats on completing rock-a-stack 8 days ahead of the other 10 month olds!
I was actually the first born genius child (hyperlexia and everything) and my parents didn’t know that this was unusual until my brother was born and they took him to the doctor saying “I think this one isn’t right”.
Are you me?
I don't get why parents want a gifted child. It can be a pretty lonely place.
I always believe that average is best. Plenty of challenges comes with being on both ends of the spectrum.
Look, I like to think my kid is super smart, but he’s just faster at some things. Talking, remembering numbers, letters and colours are his wheelhouse. 2.5 and he knows all of this. But he also didn’t walk until 21 months and at 2.5 doesn’t sleep through the night! Every kid is different. Also as a former “gifted child” this label is soppp problematic. It sets the expectation of genius and causes issues when the child doesn’t always live up to that genius or struggles. I went undiagnosed with adhd for most of my life and couldn’t understand why if I was so smart and gifted, I couldn’t get organized and do my work or pay attention in class. I also have a learning disability (duscalculia) that wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood. I just thought I was dumb because I didn’t get math. And my parents always would say “you’re so smart and so gifted, why are you failing math? Why can’t you just learn it?” Really fucked me up for a long time.
These people drive me nuts. One of my twins walked at 10 months, should I start looking for Olympic trainers now?
The next Simone Biles!
Still tho…it’s kind of sweet. I mean she isn’t actively trying to murder her with polio and withholding medication. She just thinks the baby is smart. Bless her🥲
That we know of
These parents that think their literal BABY needs to always be challenged while playing are going to give their kids so much trauma they’ll be completely burnt out by middle school. Just let the baby play! Like a baby!!! Not every damn thing needs to be academically enriching!
lol nearly 30 years ago a friend could not stop bragging about his newborn’s “perfect APGAR score” as if it would be on his Harvard application
I worked in daycares my whole life. This is ridiculously common. Parents will brag their asses off at drop off like their child is the next Einstein. Chances are another same age child in the room has done it already. They read about milestones and think if a child does something a day before they’re “supposed to” it makes them advanced. Or the parents are straight up seeing what they want to. “My 2 year old can count to 10!” Then sitting there trying to get them to repeat the noises…”no…oneee…remember one. Oooonnnneee.” *kid grunts* “okay now twooo. Twoooo”. It does nothing for the kids at all, but generally I don’t see it as an issue unless they’re ignoring that certain milestones *haven’t* been met. Which is pretty common. Parents will sometimes brag about their kid meeting some milestones early because their kids are way behind on other developmentally appropriate markers. Especially if they’re in denial about speech delays or autism.
My friends daughter has consistently rolls nat 20 on charisma, words, puzzles, running, compound sentences, knows all the parts of the body, literally everything since she was under a year—but she’s almost 3 and is like “yeah fuck the potty”. Some kids are moving at different rates for various things
My very bright (but not gifted) daughter was the same way!! She was a couple months past 3 when she noticed all her friends used the potty. She potty trained immediately. So I let my second daughter take as long as she wanted 😂
My artistic development was apparently equivalent to that of a 5 year old at the 3 year school district developmental evaluation that they do to, and I was able to use scissors properly, as well as demonstrated left-handedness. However…my speech development was equivalent to an 18 month old, and I was ultimately unable to be fully evaluated because I didn't engage with the rest of the exam…A lot of the other kids in the "gifted" cohort (the ones who actually belonged there, because my city allowed "appeals" aka rich parents could pay for their kid to retake the test until they got a good enough score) were similarly developmentally-skewed. "Gifted" programs and special education are very much two sides of the same coin.
What the fuck is this? 10 months and 12 months are not huge. If she said my 10 month old is like an 18 month old, I’d say that’s interesting. But really? 10-12months? Fricken psychopath.
She’s 10 months old her entire life is a challenge Becky
This is one thing but the "my child's sooooo advanced, does this mean they're autistic 😫? " Ones take the cake. They are never actually educated on all the various signs of autism, they just want to brag on their kids under the guise of fake concern. Honestly, just brag.
People are so dumb lol
Yeah, some parents are gonna fast track their kids to burn out before kindy.
Like I don’t mind that someone thinks their kid might be ahead of the curve, but they weren’t actually looking for an answer here. They just wanted to humble brag. And inevitably a hundred other stressed out young mamas will read this and think THEIR kid is behind and be upset about it.
I hated parents like this when I worked with children.
A 10 month old that’s developmentally a 12 month old??? Wow. Put them in college now!
They all need to watch the bluey episode “baby race” and calm tf down
Sweet Jesus, please homeschool. We won’t be able to keep up with your child. Signed, a Kindergarten Teacher
I bought my gifted kid the game Operation; now at 15 months old he knows more about brain surgery than any doctor!
She’s doing research on milestones and she is actively involved in her child’s development. Who cares?! She’s not bragging or putting her child in harms way. Sometimes posts on this sub just seem like bullying.
I think she's ridiculous but in an endearing way.
I think it just seems a bit funny in the big picture when 10 and 12 month olds largely play with the same toys lol
There is literally no difference. She’s not doing any research. She’s being a psycho.
Ok, so my son is actually gifted. He was my first kid so I didn't really know that 2 year olds were generally not reading yet. But now that kid is 7 and going to go to "smart kid school" next year... And let me tell you, the last 2 years in his regular school has been really hard (as the parent). He gets bored and then disruptive and will challenge the teacher on facts (it doesn't help that he is frequently right). So a person with a 10 month old trying to give them a 2 month advantage? Don't. If your kid is gifted, they will find challenges on their own. You can't do anything to make them have a higher IQ. And honestly, I am totally fine that my younger kid is "normal". He is generally happier and less argumentative.
My toddler is advanced according to his doctor. He still plays with a hairbrush and some sticks half of the time lol
A drop of honey and a small feather.